


The Commander and the Mechanic

by Kimmyhazard



Series: The Commander and the Mechanic [1]
Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Action, Action & Romance, Action/Adventure, Adventure, Alternate Universe - Star Wars Setting, F/M, Falling In Love, Forbidden Love, Force Bond (Star Wars), Friendship, Jedi Rey, Kylo Ren Angst, Kylo Ren and OC are just asking for trouble, Kylo and OC are trouble, Love Confessions, Love/Hate, Post-Star Wars: The Force Awakens, Pre-Star Wars: The Force Awakens, Protective Finn, Protective Kylo Ren, Protective Poe Dameron, Romance, Star Wars References, Star Wars: The Force Awakens Spoilers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-12
Updated: 2018-05-18
Packaged: 2018-09-17 02:37:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 69
Words: 329,729
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9300380
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kimmyhazard/pseuds/Kimmyhazard
Summary: Ashlyn (Ash) Novafall is a mechanic (and a damn good one) working for one of the most well-known practices in practically all the galaxy. It's no wonder the shop caught the attention of The First Order. With StarKiller practically falling apart at the seams, The First Order reaches out to Laynor Gal-Far, the owner of the establishment, for assistance. Of course, he chose the best mechanic he had, Ashlyn. With much complaint and with many excuses that did no good, Ashlyn found herself on a six month contract that came with much more than she had anticipated. Some of that including but not limited to a very moody Commander.





	1. The Longest Six Months... Ever

**Author's Note:**

> Trying my hands at a new fic! Hopefully you guys like it. This is really an introductory chapter so please bare with me here and maybe give it a chance? I hope? Eek! Anyway, let's get to it!

His voice sounded distant; muffled even as he began waving his hand in front of the somewhat shocked expression on her face. “Ground control to Ash. Anybody in there?” He asked again as her eyes began to focus. 

               Did she hear him correctly? She had to have heard him wrong, there was no way her skill set was that impressive. At least, impressive enough to get her work on one of the biggest projects this galaxy had ever seen. A top secret base that needed a mechanic; a mechanic who could not only repair satellites or ventilations but ships and air-lock configurations. A mechanic that could do it all and under the heaviest of pressure. Ashlyn Novafall was that mechanic, apparently. “I’m sorry, I may have misheard you. The First Order came to you in need of a mechanic on their new base and you submitted my application for their consideration?”

It didn’t seem too out of the ordinary. Many walks of life came to this particular shop for maintenance assistance. It was one of the most well-known workshops in the galaxy for many reasons. The number one priority was discretion, of course they reached the attention of The First Order.

               He rolled his eyes, aggravation obvious on his face. She really hadn’t heard the entire story, had she? “Ash, they didn’t just consider you, they  _hired_  you.”

               After a few blinks, the ship made dock in her mind. “Oh gosh—“ She said, realization washing over her with full agonizing force. “Laynor, I can’t just go work for The First Order. I’ve heard stories about people who’ve worked there. People have died for mistakes; mistakes I’d probably end up making—“ She was panicking and underselling herself, Laynor saw right through that. “Besides, I swore I wouldn’t take sides in this Galactic…  _thing_  going on.”

               Laynor, his aging face with deep bags under his eyes, sighed. His greying hair was surely her doing, he’d argue that point another day for sure. “You don’t have to pick sides, you just have to help with maintenance and getting things running.” He assured her. “If I didn’t think you could handle it, I would have gone with another. Your qualifications are above and beyond their needs, you’ll be more than fine.”

               “I’m flattered, really, but the First Order—“ She tried to reason again. “That’s a lot of room for error and causation for termination. Literal termination—“ She continued. “Like, I’d be dead, termination.”

               “It also pays handsomely and gives you immunity while staying among their base. You’d be protected, unless of course, attacked.”

               She grimaced. “You’re not helping…”

He ignored her retort and continued. “Ashlyn, I have more than enough faith in you. You’ll be fine, you’ll get your work done and once it’s over you can come back. You have an extendable six month contract, should you change your mind to continue. You don’t have to pick sides, just do your work. An opportunity like this does not come around often. I’d take it.”

 

* * *

 

               And that was how Ashlyn Novafall found herself on a heavily guarded transportation unit to an unknown location in the galaxy. All she had on the location was a name, and a poorly executed one at that. The First Order base; StarKiller. It wasn’t a very creative name but, she wasn’t contracted for marketing now was she?

               Her instructions were simple, get in and get out. She had been hired under contract for six months to help with the internal workings of this new base and all its functions. Laynor Gal-Far, her superior back on the planet Lothal, recommended her for the work. With little to no choice in the matter (and a firm belief that she was sent here so Laynor wouldn’t have to go), Ash was heading to StarKiller to lead the maintenance team.

               Granted, as a neutral party to the Galactic war, she was an ideal candidate from the start. It took little to no convincing from Laynor in regards to Ashlyn’s actual expertise, regardless that she was actually his best mechanic for the job. However, if asked today Laynor would not argue that he really did not want to go himself. He was, as he so politely put it, ‘ _Too old for that shit’_.

               It didn’t matter anyway, Ashlyn was already on the transport unit and on her way. The Storm Troopers that had accompanied her were pretty silent. Only the hum of the engine made any noise. Ashlyn wasn’t sure if she would prefer small talk or the humming. In fact, it wasn’t until the StarKiller landing pad came into view that Ashlyn had anything to say at all, which turned out to be nothing positive. “Snow?” She asked, her eyes wide. She couldn’t remember the last time she had seen snow. “No one told me this planet was going to be cold.” She looked at the Storm Troopers, their expressions hidden behind their masks as Ashlyn looked down at her ill-prepared outfit. “I’m going to freeze!”

               “The base will be warmer, ma’am.” One trooper assured her, hoping to give some sort of comfort to the girl. She hardly believed him. However, pleasantly surprised when she disembarked the freighter and wandered into the largest launch bay of StarKiller.

               This place was  ** _huge_**. The launch pad itself held at least fifty Imperial TIE fighters, two freighters and some weird, black Upsilon-class command shuttle she assumed to be customized for the owner. A ship she had never worked with too closely but couldn’t wait to get her hands on.

               In her state of awe, Ashlyn was swiftly approached by a uniformed maintenance worker with a data pad. His blonde hair slicked back perfectly, not a single hair out of place. He wore a black jumpsuit, standard uniform for all maintenance. However, this uniform looked almost two sizes too big, it was practically swimming on him. “Ms. Novafall?” Ashlyn snapped out of her distracted state and responded with a quick nod. “Name’s Sid, I’m here to welcome you on StarKiller.”

               Ashlyn pursed her lips. “No fanfare?” She joked dryly, receiving only a raised brow in reply. “Kidding.” She corrected quickly, adjusting her top anxiously. “I assume this isn’t exactly the  _fun_  base.”

               His lips quirked into a small smirk. “We make do with what we’re given.” He said. “Besides, you’re in the best department; maintenance. I was second in command before our first got into his little accident. Guess that makes me first in command now.” Ashlyn, whether it was his dry sense of humor or his sarcastic wit, really took an immediate liking to Sid. “That’s where you come in. I hear you’re a natural at this stuff. A real whiz, if you will. Fine by me but, at the end of the day you still answer to me. Got it?”

               Ashlyn nodded. “When do we start?”

Sid chuckled. “Eager, are we? First, we have to go over the basics of the base.  _Then_  I can give you the first round up of assignments. Let’s take a tour of your new home.”

 

* * *

 

 

 

               Ashlyn knew the base was huge, she didn’t realize just how big it actually was. Not until she wandered the halls with Sid. He spoke quickly and with distinct execution in each word as he explained the locations of the different engines and inner workings of the planet. Sid explained in great, and almost a little too much detail, in regards to the different capacitors and schematics needed to hold this place together. That’s when Ashlyn realized, this place wasn’t fully functioning just yet. “Sid, is StarKiller even up to code yet?”

               Sid shrugged as the two casually walked the main halls. “To be honest? No.” He admitted. “We still have a lot of work to do and I need a more competent team. Obviously, the people we have now aren’t exactly fit for the kind of work we need done. There’s an entire south wing that needs a complete overhaul with ventilation and wiring. That’s where you come in. I need a special eye and hand on some of these parts, particularly the main reactors. Of course, we do have some smaller maintenance that needs to be handled accordingly in-between the bigger jobs. We’re pretty understaffed, as you can see.”

               “Will I be working on the main reactors?” Ashlyn asked.

“Main reactors, ships, ventilations; the works.” Sid clarified a little more. “Basically, I need to know you can wear many hats, Ms. Novafall.”

               “You can call me Ash. No need for formalities.” She mindlessly corrected him. “And yes, I am more than qualified.”

               Sid grinned, his bright brown eyes sparking as he ran his hand through his slicked back blonde hair. “Excellent. One other thing, Ash.” He grew a little more serious. “It’s best to think the outside galaxy doesn’t exist and to just focus on what we have here. Ignorance is bliss in a place like this, it’s best to stay out of all that riff-raff. Got it?”

               Ashlyn nodded. “I’m here to do what’s asked of me. That’s it.”

His grin returned as he gave a satisfied chuckle. “Then you’re ready to get started.”

 

 

* * *

 

 

               Ashlyn’s first day was fairly simple, Sid had gone over more of the inner workings of the main reactors and showed her a few more places she’d need to know. One being the mess hall, the other being her sleeping arrangement. Maintenance workers had a small section on the 400’s level, each worker having their own quarters. The studio apartment was complete with basic furnishings; a couch, bookshelf, coffee table, kitchenette, dining table and a curtain that hid the sleeping area. The bed was a full size with a decent sized wardrobe closet. Granted, most of Ashlyn’s clothes would now consist of the maintenance uniform, which hopefully was her size. “Not bad, right?” Sid beamed as he watched Ashlyn explore her new studio. “The base is big enough for larger rooms unlike the transport units. On the Finalizer, we had much smaller arrangements. Everything functions, checked it out this morning. No one actually lived in this unit before you so it’s like getting a brand new place.”

               Ashlyn smiled slightly as she wandered to the book case, noticing the selection was small and mostly decorations took over the shelves. The books that were there, however, were borderline propaganda, nothing about revolution or with negative words about the First Order, the old Empire or anything of the Galactic History. It was probably better that way, she thought. “Is everyone on this floor?”

               “Mostly maintenance.” Sid confirmed. “The higher-ups are 200 and 300 respectfully. Some have rooms on 100 but, those guys are a little more important than we are.” As if he said something wrong, Sid inhaled, realizing he had left out some rather important information regarding the _other_ inhabitants of the base. “Speaking of which, everyone here is nice. Don’t get me wrong, most of the people you’ll meet here are pretty normal. Some won’t even acknowledge your existence. There are some, however, that you should avoid at all cost.”

               Ashlyn gave him a curious look. “Higher-ups, I presume?” 

“Something like that.” Sid said. “Listen, we’re maintenance and we usually keep to ourselves anyway. You’ll be too busy to get into trouble, hopefully. However, when on the higher levels, keep your head down.”

               Sid seemed to be referring to someone or  _something_  in particular. At least, that was the vibe Ashlyn was getting. “Head down, stay out of trouble, got it.” She said with a reassuring smile. 

               He returned with an unconvinced smile of his own. “Well, I’ll let you get situated. We start early tomorrow. There’s a data pad on the coffee table, use it to get around and find your way. Of course, you’ll need it for work as well so don’t break it.”

               Ashlyn gave her most genuine smile, regardless of his vague warning, Sid really made her feel welcomed. “Thanks, Sid.” He nodded in reply before seeing himself out of the studio apartment. Ashlyn looked around at the quiet room, the hum of a vent from above the only real sound in the room. The 400’s were a very quiet floor, something she knew she’d need to get used to. However, as far as first days go, this one wasn’t so bad. At least, until she fell asleep.

 

* * *

 

 

 

                _She knew she was asleep, that was obvious. Normally, people woke up once they realized they were dreaming. However, Ashlyn didn’t. She wasn’t sure when she started dreaming exactly but, she suddenly became aware. As if her eyes closed and then BAM! Dream world. Yet, this wasn’t really a world or even a normal looking dream for that matter. It was black, everything was black. There was nothing. No formations, no shapes, no structure, nothing. It wasn’t dark, that was something odd. She could see her hands in front of her perfectly, as if she were illuminated and the ground below her was definitely solid. Ashlyn did the only thing she could do and walked forward for what felt like an eternity._

_It was not hot or cold, in fact,_ _Ash_ _felt nothing as she walked. It were as though she existed in an empty space, a void that left much to be desired. She couldn’t see anything on all sides of here because there was nothing. The black seemed to go on forever and leading nowhere. A peculiar dream it was, and until she woke, a peculiar dream it stayed._

* * *

 

The alarm clock sounded on the nightstand next to the full sized bed, with grogginess, Ash opened her eyes and glared at the beeping from the small robotic box. With a groan, she tiredly slapped the beeping box, missing at first and only succeeding upon the second strike. An exaggerated yawn followed with a very satisfactory stretch, Ashlyn swung her legs over the side of the bed and slowly stood. It was her first day on StarKiller, she knew it was best to not be late. 

               After a quick shower and changing into the proper black uniform (relieved the jumper wasn’t too baggy or too snug), Ash wandered over to the data pad to see she had a memo from Sid. 

               ‘ _First task, newbie. Generator in Section 200, Hall M is out. Tool kit is right outside your room. Get to work! – Sid’_

               Ash grinned slightly at the memo. Regardless if she felt out of place here, at least Sid was somewhat welcoming to her. That would make the next six months a little bearable. Insignificantly and possibly unnoticeably bearable. 

               As promised, Ash found her tool kit sitting to the left of her doorway. It was more so a belt with a few tools attached rather than an actual kit. With an amused smirk, she picked up the belt and latched it around her waist. The data pad in her hand began to vibrate slightly; a new message was received. With a curious expression, Ashlyn looked down at the data pad to see the new message from Sid.

               ‘ _Don’t forget to use your map to find the Generator. – Sid’_

An eye roll and mumbling about how capable she was at reading a map, Ash opened the map in her data pad and headed to the 200’s.

 


	2. Meeting The Inhabitants Of StarKiller

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ash seems to be heading for trouble as her curiosity begins to get the better of her. The other inhabitants of StarKiller slowly make an appearance. Well, most of them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey! Here's a long chapter after pretty much disappearing for a long time. So sorry about that, it happens. But fear not, I always finish my stories... well... most of them. This will be one of them. Also, I have this thing about Kylo Ren and Hux hating each other but, not really. I think they secretly have respect for each other. Also, I wanted to try something different and have them not so much hate each other but have a weird respect/hate relationship. I don't know, it's a fanfic! Make up whatever you want!

            **_Kylo Ren_**  was almost always in a grumpy mood and today was no particular exception to that rule. Granted, he was a tad bit grumpier today than he had been in a few weeks. The base wasn’t nearly as close to ready as he had been made believe; that was something he blamed Hux for. Then again, what  _didn’t_  he blame Hux for? It wasn’t so much that he hated General Armitage Hux, in fact, some days he tolerated him. However, he needed someone to blame and unfortunately Hux was the closest thing he had to an equal.

               Hux dealt with the same pressure he did (or at least an understandable pressure) when it came to Supreme Leader Snoke. The creature behind The First Order and all their doings in the Galactic Universe. The Supreme Leader whom had given Kylo his new meaning; limitless power and of course the headache that came with being somewhat in charge. Which is why he seemed to take a lot out on Hux. In all fairness, Hux did the same. Their mutual respect and occasional (a little  _too_  occasional) fighting was a necessity in running this base.

               Speaking of which, the base wasn’t running to full potential. The base was hardly running at all. It was a rather large project, one that he had little to no faith in the underlings to even come close to completing. A weaponized planet? Surely, they were mad. But at least today the lights were working.

               That wasn’t all on Commander Ren’s plate today. He had had a very unique dream last night, a dream that left him feeling uneasy. For someone who had consistently vivid dreams, sometimes Force dreams detailing a potential outcome, this dream was the exact opposite. He stood in an empty blackness with nothing around. However, he didn’t  _feel_  like he was alone. It left a bad taste in his mouth; so bad that today had already started off to a sour one.

               None of that really mattered because right in that moment he was stuck in the worst meeting he could have possibly imagined (Although others involved would just say he was being overly dramatic, as per usual). Hux was going over his latest findings on nearby planets; their attempt to find a hidden group of Jedi sympathizers had been nicely referred to as a failure these last few weeks. Kylo Ren was sick of hearing about it, he just wanted results.

               “I can send some of my scouts to other outer rim territories.” Captain Phasma intervened, trying to equal the playing field. She knew both men, or rather in her eyes  _boys_ , would soon begin arguing. This was her last effort to offer a good idea before chaos broke out. She pointed to the several locations on the outer rim, highlighting the opportunities. “We can send them to these locations and report their findings.”

               “The sympathizers could move by then. It’s too risky.” Kylo Ren said, the voice distortion on his helmet resonating ugly cracks as he spoke. He knew he didn’t have to wear his helmet around Phasma and Hux, however, they knew he wore it when he was in an awful mood. Two different sides of understanding yet one major issue before them still.

               “So is sending Troopers in full ranks to locations hoping to interrogate. No one knows what we are after just yet, Ren.” Phasma said dutifully. “It’s best to take cautious action while the element of surprise is on our side.”

               Kylo Ren sat back in his seat, grateful is mask hiding his distaste as his face contorted to an expression resembling much like that of a pout. Phasma was right and he hated that, almost as much as he hated meetings. And he  _really_  hated meetings. It was then Hux finally spoke up after a little too much silence on his part. “Send your scouts to the Outer Rim.” He said before switching to the next item on the agenda and before Kylo had another more to say on the matter. “Now in the matters of this base—“

               Kylo snorted, interrupting the flow of conversation. “This dysfunctional base? Your mechanics are not even qualified to change a lightbulb.”

               Hux narrowed his eyes, his looks could kill, his would obliterate. “As I was saying, we recruited a new term contractor with flexibility, if we determine more time is needed. One of the best; neutral to the cause and highly recommended. I expect Sid will have use for her.”

               “Hopefully she’ll prove somewhat useful.” Ren said with annoyance, his tone hinting at accusations to Hux that  _he_  had been the reasons for this particular failure.

“She has a promising resume to back up her credentials. I have a good feeling about this one. Oh and Ren—“ Hux said. “Try not to kill this one.”

                 Phasma, the only one in the room truly to keep her cool, brushed her blonde hair back with her hand and placed her chrome helmet back on her head. “I think that’s enough for today.” She said, preventing any other lash outs. “Gentlemen, back to our posts.” With that, she left the room swiftly. Kylo followed suit, not wanting to be in the meeting any longer than he had to be. Hux stood there somewhat dumbfounded and yet somewhat relieved at the sudden exits made by his staff before grabbing his data pad and heading out himself.

 

 

* * *

 

 

               On the 200’s, Ash found herself working with a stubborn generator that wasn’t pulling. She lowered herself underneath the machine and began clearing out debris and noticing the broken fan belt. “That’ll do it.” She muttered to no one as she carefully removed the belt and checked the cogs and pull device. The rotations seemed normal and more or less fully capable of functioning properly.

               Reaching down towards her utility pack, she fumbled around blindly before pulling out a new expanding band and placed one end around the first cog. With a little force she pulled the band and wound it tightly around the final cog. Satisfied with her work, Ash removed herself from underneath the generator. With a deep breath, she pressed up on the on switch. The generator fan belt began to putter before finally the generator itself powered on. A knowing smile formed on her lips as she reveled in her small success. Then again, this was an easy job to begin with.

               Ash was immediately brought out of her celebration by a new presence in the room as a man cleared his throat behind her. Jumping slightly, Ashlyn turned around to see a uniformed ginger with a smug and satisfied expression that he started her. “I didn’t mean to frighten you.” He said, receiving a look from Ash as he continued speaking. “I came to introduce myself. I am General Armitage Hux; I requested your presence on StarKiller.”

               Ashlyn realized who she was talking to then, the one somewhat in charge of this whole operation. The man who seemingly  _forced_  her immediate presence on this barely functioning rock. Ash nodded her head, knowing his rank was definitely above hers. Granted, he wasn’t  _her_  General. “Pleased to meet you, General.” She faked her best hospitable greeting. “I’m Ashlyn, thank you for the opportunity.” Laynor did say she had to be professional.

                Hux never lost his smug expression as he examined the new recruit. “While I do not question one of the most renowned mechanics of this sector of the galaxy, I do, however, have to question your loyalty to this cause.” His smirk widened. “It’s part of my job to make sure this base remains safe for all my staff. I’m sure you understand.”

               “You’re asking my standing on this war?” Ash asked, knowing that was  _exactly_  what he was asking. She also didn’t blame him for his inquisitions. Anyone in command would be curious and untrusting to handing the keys to their rather large project to an outsider. Even if that project was unfinished and falling apart. “You have nothing to worry about, General. I have no position or standing on anything going on outside my own bubble. I was contracted by you to get the job done, that’s it.”

                 He was somewhat satisfied with that answer as his smirk faded and he nodded. His demeanor still commanding as Hux looked passed Ashlyn now and to the running generator. “I see you’ve wasted no time in fixing some of our more recent problems.” He listened to the hum of the room as the generator was completely fired up now. “This is a rather large project, Ms. Novafall.” He said. “A lot is at stake here but, your qualifications are invaluable.”

                “Your base is in good hands.” Ash assured him.

Hux’s smirk returned. “So it would seem.” He turned on his heel and headed for the exit. “Welcome to StarKiller. Should you need anything Ms. Novafall, I can always be found in the 100’s.”

               Before Ash could reply, he was out the door completely. Something about Hux left her uneasy, however; she kind-of understood his purpose finding her. This base really was a powerful piece of machinery. One wrong move and it could blow up in their faces, literally. That still didn’t change the fact that she found Hux to be quite the smug asshole. However, she’d bite her tongue for now; per Laynor’s request.

 

* * *

 

 

               Ash completed a few more tasks given by Sid via data pad before eventually making her way to the cafeteria for dinner (also per Sid’s request). She wandered in, not truly sure what to expect, only to find Sid waving manically for her attention. She smiled slightly before heading passed the mass of Troopers and ranking officers alike and towards the table of those in the similar jumpsuits. “There she is!” Sid said as Ash walked closer to the table. “Guys, this is Ash.” He explained with little to no detail. “Ash, this is everyone. You’ll get to know them better later on, especially at our crew meetings.”

               “We have crew meetings?” Ash asked as she took a seat beside a rather scrawny looking guy with glasses and shaggy brown hair.

“Yeah but, they’re usually about us getting yelled at for something else breaking.” The man next to her said with a grin. “I’m Taka.”

               “Ash.” She said, smiling. “So why are we getting yelled at?” She asked as Sid promptly left the group and headed towards the food line.

“There’s a lot expected of us here.” Taka said honestly. “A lot of ambitious projects that the General wants us to complete and not enough manpower or time to complete them.”

               Ash grimaced. “I met the General today, he seems…  _fun_.”

Taka laughed. “Yeah, most of the higher-ups are just better left alone. Except Sid, he’s more approachable than the rest.”

               “Sid said he gained his position due to an accident?” Ash asked.

The rest of the group just so happened to have paid attention at that exact moment, the table growing silent and averting their gaze to their food trays as Taka cleared his throat. He blinked a few times before talking. “Did Sid happen to mention anything about what kind of accident?” Ash simply shook her head as she tried to establish the exact tone of the table, her nerves acting up slightly as she waited for an answer. “When you’re on the higher level floors, mostly anywhere in the 100’s—“

               “He said to be cautious about the higher-ups and to keep my head down.”

Taka nodded once. “You really only have to worry about  _one_.”

               It was then Sid returned with two trays in his hand, he was frowning slightly as he placed one tray in front of Ash. “She knows all she needs to know. Ash is here for six months, maybe a little longer. She was warned.” He forced a smile as he sat down across from Ashlyn now and began eating. “Besides, it’s dinner time, you know my rule. No work talk here.”

               Ashlyn realized then that Sid was hiding something from her, or rather he was hiding  _someone_. The group clearly feared one of the higher-ups enough to not give her a clear story on what happened to the original maintenance head. However, Ash figured it was best not to press the matter. Sid made that perfectly clear he wouldn’t be talking anymore about it.

               Instead, she learned the names of the rest of the small crew. There was Taka, Grim (a rather stoutly fellow who seemed really interested in gossip and starting drama than maintenance), the twins, Micah and Marvin. They were identical and looked no older than seventeen. Finally, there was a very nervous and twitchy fellow at the end, Conner. He said nothing and remained silent as he ate his dinner. That was their group, the seven of them were in charge of running this entire base. It seemed somewhat hopeless to Ashlyn, especially since Sid explained their capabilities were lacking in what needed to get done. It only seemed to reinforce the idea that the next six months would feel like the longest six months of her life.

 

 

* * *

 

              

                _That night, Ashlyn had found herself once again entangled in that crazy dream. The darkness surrounding her at every turn. However, that didn’t stop her from pressing forward. And so she did. The sound of her footsteps on the absent floor echoed into the void as she walked towards nothing with the idea that nothing would ever really appear._

_“This dream just keeps getting weirder and weirder.” She muttered to herself. At least she was aware of her current state. Normally, when one was aware they were dreaming, they’d awaken. Not this time. Ash was aware and still marching around and endless void._

_Granted, there was some sort of ground below her, even if she couldn’t really see its dimensions. There was nothing before or behind her; no horizon line, nothing. It also wasn’t like she was traveling blindly. For a dream engulfed in complete and total emptiness, it was very easy to see._

                _However, unlike the previous night’s dream, something had changed. She could feel something heavy in her chest as she kept walking. Finally, she had to stop, she couldn’t keep going. She felt it; that feeling of being watched. She turned around, her breath catching in her throat as she saw the figure stand before her. It immediately turned to face her, sensing her presence as well. It was a person, a man, towering at almost six feet tall, his dark coal eyes narrowing at her as he snarled. “Who the hell are you?” He began to walk towards her, his black cloak billowing behind him. She backed up, her primal instinct kicking in to get away from this man._

_Ash stumbled background, falling down on her behind as she looked up. Before the man reached her, she felt herself jolting out of sleep altogether._

* * *

 

               She sat upright in bed, her breathing labored as she frantically looked around her studio apartment. The room silent say for the buzzing of the air vent; everything was well lit and above all safe. She inhaled deeply in an attempt to catch her breath, only to realize there was a faint beeping to her right. Ash looked to see the data pad was flashing, she had a new message. Reaching for the pad, she grabbed it and opened the message from Sid.

               ‘ _Meeting at 09:00. Don’t be late’ – Sid_

She sighed, inhaling once more as she closed her eyes. Her latest dream truly got into her head that time. Granted, Ash accepted it was just a dream and nothing more. The data pad buzzed again.

_‘You’re late, where are you?’ – Sid_

                With an exaggerated groan, Ash quickly removed herself from her bed dressed as quickly as possible. She’d have time to think about what had happened later. For now, she had a meeting to attend. A meeting she was very late to.

 

 

* * *

 

               Upon arriving to the main launch bay, Ashlyn wandered into the maintenance meeting area (which conveniently resided near Sid’s office). The door slid open automatically as she walked into the meeting area only to see her team walking out. She made quick eye contact with Taka; whom gave her only a small and sympathetic smile as he left. She walked over to where Sid had been sitting, the room clearing out as she spoke. “I’m sorry, I overslept.”

               Sid had his attention on his data pad, dismissively waving his hand at Ashlyn and her excuse before talking. “Yeah, yeah. Just don’t do it again.” He said. “Listen, I have an important assignment I need you to work on today.”

               Ash looked at him curiously. “Go on.”

“I need a new control panel up on the 100’s and unfortunately for you, you’re the only one who has the capability for making one.” Sid said, interrupting Ash before she could accept. “And I need you to do it as quickly as possible without uttering a single word to anyone. Got it?” Ash nodded, getting a very weird vibe from Sid. She had a feeling that if Sid didn’t need this control panel up and running so quickly, he would have never sent her there in the first place.

               However, Ashlyn was now curious and that was a bad thing. Why had everyone been so reluctant to even mention the 100’s? It seemed almost taboo to venture up there, what were they hiding? She was determined to take in as much as she could, who knew when the next time she’d head up there would be. “What supplies will I need?”

               Sid snorted. “There’s a utility closet in the room, stocked it last week with most of the wiring needed. The actual console is setup for you, it just needs hardwire. Connect it to the main motherboards and have communications up and running to reach all floors.”

               To anyone else, that would have sounded like gibberish. To Ash, it was basic. “I’ll get started.” She turned on her heels and headed for the door, only to feel like Sid still had something more to say. However, he never said it. Instead, that feeling lingered as Ashlyn headed to the dreaded top floor of StarKiller.

 

 

 

 

              

              

              

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading, remember to leave kudos or comments or whatever!


	3. And Then They Met... Kind-of

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Maybe monsters do exist? And maybe they do live on the 100's floor? Well, I guess it's about time Ash found out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for the kudos and the reviews, guys! That's super awesome! I love reading reviews and talking with you guys so please, keep it going! Of course, thank you all for reading and I hope you continue to enjoy! Also, super sorry this chapter is kind-of short, I promise the next chapter will be longer. I just wanted to give you guys their first meeting!

           

* * *

 

              The 100’s seemed lacking in every horrifying detail Ash could have imagined, or dared to imagine thanks to her team. They seemed rather _ordinary_ say for a busier traffic in the halls. She noticed more Storm Troopers and more uniforms than any other level. No monsters or ghouls that could rip her to shreds, everything seemed disappointingly average.

               With the help of the data pad, Ash found the bland and uninteresting black door that lead to a slightly more interesting room. The room was another control room; its prime functions were to help assist the base with energy and preventing power failures and forming fail safes. Just as Sid has instructed, a hollowed console sat before her. Her job blatantly clear as she wandered to the utility closet and rummaged for the supplies.

               Sid was rather neat when it came to supplies; everything was accounted for and wrapped neatly for Ash to dissect as needed. More and more she was realizing that Sid was an obvious control freak. That fact only becoming more obvious when the data pad vibrated with a message asking:

 ‘ _Everything okay?’ – Sid_ Ash just rolled her eyes and replied she was safe from the big, bad 100’s level and now beginning her work. Another message came through; ‘ _Smartass :] ‘_ – _Sid_. Ash laughed and began her work.

 

* * *

 

 

               At times, Kylo Ren was convinced his presence on StarKiller was more of a scare tactic than to actually _command_ anything. Anywhere he’d go, people moved. The sense of power and being in charge was intoxicating, at first. Today, however, it was slightly annoying. Then again, what _didn’t_ annoy him lately?

               Certain days he’d find ways to entertain himself when things were dull, like mess with the scared Troopers. Sometimes there was nothing to do but wait for updates on his search for Force sympathizers. Other times there was a ton of work and no time to do it. Today was more mundane. However, he didn’t feel like tormenting the underlings. Instead, he wanted to pout over his stupid Force dreams lately and not face Supreme Leader Snoke. He didn’t have a choice for the latter, however.

               As he turned the corner towards the two large black sliding doors, he saw Hux standing idly by waiting. Hux hated going in there just as much as Ren did, unless he had good news to report. He had nothing. Neither one had anything to report.

               Kylo Ren walked closer, Hux staring at the slots on Kylo Ren’s helmet. Even though he couldn’t directly share his glare with the man, he knew at least Kylo could see it. “Scared to go alone?” Ren asked, his mocking tone still heard in the distortion of his mask.

               Hux’s glare grew menacing as he exhaled deeply. “You know as well as I do that Supreme Leader is not going to be happy.”

“Maybe you should have finished the base.”

               “Maybe you should have found Skywalker.” Hux retorted, noticing Kylo’s body visibly stiffen in reply. He had won that banter, he knew it. Hux would relish it later, however, the two men had more pressing matters to tend to; Snoke.

               Without another word, the sliding doors opened and the men entered. Their fear masked by their need for power and respect as they entered the cavern and towards the large projection that already awaited them.

               “You’re late.” His raspy voice echoed throughout the cavern as Kylo and Hux took their places before the large projection. Their humble and small frames slightly cowering before him as he spoke once more. “I expect my weekly reports on time.”

               Hux spoke first. “Yes, Supreme Leader. Forgive us for our tardiness. It will not happen again.”

“See to it that it does not.” He said disinterestedly as his focus turned to more pressing matters. “What of StarKiller?”

               Kylo Ren had never been happier to wear his mask, the look of relief washing over him surely would not have impressed Snoke. Hux was forced to speak first, that gave Ren more time to think. “We have hired a new maintenance worker. She’s very skilled in what she does—“

               “Spare me the unnecessary details, General.” Snoke snarled. “If my base running yet, or not?”

Hux swallowed hard, his tongue darting over his dry lips as he took a quick pause. “Soon.” He offered. “We need a little more time.

               Snoke’s glare was intense, even as a projection. What made matters worse was when his glare subsided. “How disappointing.” He said with little emotion. “As for you, Ren—“ He began his focus on Kylo Ren now. “What is the status on finding Skywalker?”

               Ren pursed his lips, reluctant to answer that he too had nothing to offer the Supreme Leader. “We have found more sympathizers in other systems, we have plans to send Phasma’s troops to see what they can find.”

               “You mean to say that you have nothing to offer me?” Snoke asked greedily.

Ren exhaled deeply through his nostrils. “Nothing at this time, Supreme Leader.”

               Snoke moved forward now, leaning down just a little closer to the two men. “Gentlemen, we have once again had a meeting with little to no progress. If these tasks that I have given you are not something you can complete, I **_will_** look elsewhere. I expect results soon; I expect the base to be functioning and that we will have information on Skywalker. Is that clear?” The two men nodded only once as Snoke sat back again. The weight on their shoulders lessening slightly as the looming, darkness moved away from them. “That will be all.” Snoke said dismissively before the hologram disappeared altogether.

               Hux glanced sideways at Kylo before the two quickly turned on their heels and headed silently to the exit. It wasn’t until they were safe beyond the doors to the cavern, Hux finally spoke. “I will see to it that the base is running by the end of next week.” He said dryly. “See to it you can give Supreme Leader an answer on Skywalker.”

               Ren said nothing, his blood boiling in his veins as he simply stormed off. A need growing inside of him; the disappointment he felt from Supreme Leader was overwhelming. He needed to destroy something, _anything_.

 

* * *

 

 

               Ash was finished almost three hours after she started. After attaching the last of the cables, she rolled out from under the console and stood over it with pride. As she pushed the main power button, the entire console lit with bright red and white lights. She was practically beaming at her handy work as she skipped over to the data pad and messaged Sid.

               ‘ _Control room #15 is up and running, do you see it on the schematic?’ – Ash_

After a few moments, a reply came in. ‘ _Control room #15 is showing full sustainability on my end. Great work, newbie.’ –_ _Sid._

               With a satisfied smirk, Ash cleaned her workspace and it was time to head down to her quarters to cleanup. She had finished her days work and now she was ready to take a break. With data pad in hand, Ash left the control room and headed back down the uninteresting hallway and to the lifts.

               As she entered the lift, the doors closed with a light hum. Ash leaned back against the wall, her head gently resting against it as she looked up at the white ceiling. Sure, she did a lot of work wiring one of the control rooms but, how many more were there to complete? What else had to be done to get this base up and running? From the looks of it, there was definitely _a lot_ more coming her way. Not that she minded the work; she just didn’t know if six months was really enough time.

               Her data pad buzzed, causing Ash to jump. She looked down at the pad to see a new and disappointing message from Sid.

               ‘ _Power went out in #15, maybe check the wiring again?’ – Sid._

With a groan, Ash stopped the lift and sent it back up to the 100’s. She was certain she had linked everything properly. Either there was faulty wiring or something within the main power grid was causing an issue. However, Sid didn’t mention a whole base outage. _‘How embarrassing…’_ Ash thought to herself as the lift door slid open.

               Ash had a strange feeling as she exited the lift, the many people who had been around earlier were gone. The hallway felt empty; deserted even as she turned the corner to the control room. At that moment, she saw a figure marching down the hallway. He had definitely just come from the control room. With a quickened pace, Ash walked to the control room door and saw her hard work had been destroyed.

               Large burn marks slashed across the console, sparks flying from the previously lit buttons. The beautiful colors spasm from the blow to the console. Ash saw red and without thinking, turned on her heel and out the console door. She looked down the hallway at the man who was stomping away and called out to him. “Excuse me?” She shouted, he stopped. With no fear and only lit by rage, Ash stormed down the hallway after him. “Just what the **_hell_** do you think you’re doing? That console room was newly finished and now it’s destroyed. What makes you think you have the right to do that?” She shouted.

               The man turned to face her now, ready to attack, only to stop. He had seen her before; the girl from his Force dreams. Without another word and without truly realizing what he was doing, he held out his hand. Ash stopped moving, and soon found herself unable to breathe.

               She gasped for a few moments, her vision fading more and more as an invisible hand wrapped around her throat. What the heck was happening to her? She had no idea. Ash began realize the monsters in the 100’s were real. Sid had been right. It didn’t matter now as she collapsed to the ground. He had let go but that didn’t stop Ash from passing out altogether.

 

             His helmet hid the shocked expression plastered on his face; he didn't move. She lied there, completely lifeless. Okay, she wasn't dead. He knew that. Her chest was rising and falling.  
What was he supposed to do? This was the same face that had plagued his dreams, the same intruder. Who was she and how was she able to do this? Was she one of them? No, she wasn't. He couldn't sense anything in her that would say otherwise. She wasn't one of them. That was the only other certainty besides the fact that she wasn't dead. At least, it was somewhat of a start.   
            Now the panic set in as he looked around. No one had seen the exchange or the aftermath. So far, so good. However, he still had the passed out mechanic to deal with. Did he leave her there unconscious until someone else found her? He could most certainly pin her off to someone else. Right?  
            Wrong. Indubitably and disgustingly wrong as Kylo Ren growled, his voice distorter barely picking up the sound as he trudged over to the unmoving girl. He didn't have a choice, he had to bring her to the medical ward. His reasoning? Hux would kill him if the star mechanic was dead. Not to mention the amount of paperwork they'd have to file for the liability. By the stars, he could hear Hux complaining now. It wasn't worth it.   
            With ease, he picked up the dead weight of the mechanic and slung her over his shoulder before carrying her down to the medical ward; ignoring the awkward and terrified stares of his subordinates as he went. 


	4. The Opposite Direction of Nothing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ashlyn wakes up and she's not happy. To be fair, no one is exactly happy with what happened.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you guys for reading! Remember to review and leave kudos!

      

* * *

     

              Her eyelids began to flutter as her hand twitched ever so slightly. Her chest rose sharply as a deep intake of air entered her lungs. She was coming to after fourteen hours of total darkness. Ashlyn was waking up after the air had been forcefully ripped from her body.

               Her head pounded as her eyelids finally opened, the room she was in was the brightest room on the entire base. At least, it felt that way as her eyelids immediately shut as she tried to accommodate for the sudden intrusive light. Slowly, she opened them again. Her vision adjusting now to the bright fluorescent lighting above her.

               “Hey, she’s awake.” The voice was familiar yet a stranger still as Ashlyn slowly turned her head to see the grimacing face of Sid. “How you feeling, sleepy head?”

Her voice was raspy; her throat dry. “Aren’t you going to yell at me?” She asked.

               Sid’s grimace turned into a full out smirk as he snorted. He folded his arms over his chest before forcing himself from the slightly uncomfortable chair he had been sitting in and wandered over to the near side table.

               On the table was a small cup and a pitcher of water, Ashlyn sounded like she could use some. He slowly poured the liquid into the cup before handing it to Ashlyn. She sat up slowly, finding her body to be aching more-so than she realized. Her pained expression one she couldn’t hide. “I think he did enough to be considered a viable punishment.” Sid said before returning to his seat. Ashlyn nearly inhaled the water, the cool liquid feeling amazing as it trailed down her dry throat. She began to cough a few times from drinking so fast. “Slow down, kid. You just woke up.”

              Ash nodded, holding the now empty cup in her hands as she stretched as much as she could without causing too much pain to her body. “Was that it? Was that who I was supposed to stay away from?”

Sid narrowed his eyes; he wasn’t angry with Ashlyn for asking. It only made sense her curiosity would grow after what happened. “His name is Kylo Ren.” Sid said. “ _Commander_  Kylo Ren.” He corrected himself. “A Force user.” It began to make sense how this creature was able to hurt Ashlyn without even touching her. “He’s dangerous only if you get in his way, and  ** _you_**  not only got in his way but yelled at him.”

              Ash sighed. “I didn’t know who he was. He destroyed the console I built!”

Sid’s brow raised in curiosity. “So you chased after the man who destroyed your console?” He asked, amusement in his voice. “Didn’t it occur to you that that was not a good idea?”

               “I’m here to help out on this base, Sid.” Ashlyn began. “That guy needs an attitude adjustment and killing me won’t get anything done.”

“Which is why you need to stay out of trouble.” Sid said. “How do you think I became in charge of all this?” Sid sighed, rubbing his temples in aggravation. “My boss was cut in half for getting in Kylo Ren’s way. It’s better to just lay low and stay far away from the likes of him.”

                “And if he destroys more of our hard work?”

“You let him and say nothing about it, got it?” Sid said, his voice harsh. “If he wants to destroy a thousand consoles on this base, you let him.”

               Ashlyn glared, her frustration evident on her face now. “Then I don’t think I can work here.”

“Let’s not get crazy, Ash. There’s a lot you can do on this base without running into trouble.”

               “That’s not the point.” Ashlyn began. “If our hard work will always be destroyed by that  ** _thing_**  stalking around, nothing will ever get done. How do you ever expect this place to get finished?”

                Sid clicked his tongue to the roof of his mouth before finally standing up again. “Rest up, Ash. We can discuss your contract termination after you’re feeling better. I hope you reconsider.”

               “Doubtful.” She said stubbornly as Sid wandered out of the medical wing. He now had to give the bad news to the already on edge general.

 

 

* * *

 

 

               “Need I remind you,  _Commander_ —“ Hux said, using the title with as much distaste as he could muster. “That StarKiller is not up and running as it should be and that we are on a very tight schedule. The contracted help we had hired was here to help alleviate some of the work and you—“ He paused, unable to control his anger. “And you nearly killed her!”

               “I wasn’t  _trying_  to kill her.” Kylo Ren said, his voice distorted from the helmet he so easily hid behind. “She came after me, what was I to do?”

 “What any normal person would do! Write her up, speak to her supervisor; not suffocate her!”

               “I brought her to the clinic.” He said defensively, as if that would make all the difference.

 Hux let out an exasperated sigh. “Yes, you  _did_  bring her to the clinic. She’s been passed out for hours now.”

               “She’s not dead.” Ren reminded him dryly. “She will be back to work in no time.”

“Assuming she doesn’t wish to terminate her contract early.” Hux retorted.

               Kylo Ren sat back in his chair, his arms folding across his chest. “Didn’t you put a clause that states no early termination? I feel like you should have.” He was mocking him now.

               Hux’s cheeks resembled his red hair now, he was furious. Well, furious didn’t even begin to describe it. Both men were on the chopping block with Supreme Leader and Kylo Ren was not taking any of this seriously. “I swear you’re doing this on purpose.” Hux said, plopping down into his own chair. He propped his elbow on the table and rested his head on his hand. “You enjoy seeing me distressed.” He added. “You know, neither one of us will get out of this alive is the other cannot perform their end of their duties. Surely you must know that. This project is mine as much as it is yours.”

               Now Kylo Ren felt a slight twinge of guilt. Surely Hux had a point; whatever one failed at the other would surely be partially to blame as well. Before he had a chance to rectify any of the hard feelings between the two, the door to the conference room slid open revealing a nervous Lieutenant Mitaka and a somewhat cool head of maintenance, Sid Garoon.

               “Forgive me for the intrusion, General.” Mitaka began. “He said the matter was urgent.”

Hux looked at Sid before waving him to continue. Kylo Ren turned in his seat now to face Mitaka and Sid. He grinned to himself beneath the mask as he watched Mitaka visibly flinch.

               “I’m sorry to barge in like this.” Sid said. “However, I’m going to need a new assistant.”

Hux groaned causing Kylo Ren to shift slightly in his seat. “She’s dead isn’t she?” Kylo Ren knew that wasn’t true, he had a feeling it wasn’t.

               “No, sir.” Sid quickly correctly. “She’s alive and well after the—“ He paused and quickly looked away from Kylo Ren. “ _Incident_. However, she’s asking for her contract to be terminated early.”

Hux groaned again. “I feel like it would have been better if she did die.”

               “You should have added that clause—“ Kylo muttered, only to have Hux slam his fist on the table.

“This is  _your_  fault.” He rightfully accused. “You need to make this up to her.”

                Kylo Ren was taken back at the sudden order. “Why should I do that?”

“We had trouble getting someone in here in the first place, she’s our last hope. I order you to apologize to Ms. Novafall and get her to stay.”

               Ren sat back once more. “And how do you purpose I do that?”

Hux flailed his hand carelessly. “Wave your hand or something, can’t you force the girl?”

               “Well now hold on there—“ Sid interrupted only to immediately feel out of place. There was no backing down now. “We can’t force Ash to work here.” He said.

               "Then the Commander needs to make amends with Ms. Novafall.” Hux said again. “Properly convince her to stay, even if that means you’ll avoid her like the space plague for the next six months.”

               Kylo Ren said nothing in reply, however, the room seemed to accept he understood what was asked of him. Even though, Sid stood there noting in his thoughts of Ashlyn was not going to be happy with their plan. Kylo Ren didn’t have to be Force sensitive to know that either.

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

               _It didn’t take Ashlyn long to realize she was in the same empty space that had occupied her dreams for a few nights now._

_She groaned, looking around the empty void with disgust. She hated it here, she hated how empty and lifeless it was. She also didn’t want to see that really angry person from the last time either. This time, she planned on staying still. He only seemed to appear if she wandered, at least, that one other time it happened. Ashlyn was willing to try anything._

_She wasn’t alone for long; he came up behind her. He was silent as he stared at her back, watching her curiously and cautiously. She was so tiny in comparison, her red hair the only thing vibrant about her. She wasn’t anything special yet, here she was. She was able to penetrate his Force dreams not once but three times now. She didn’t **feel** like a Jedi or have any traces of being capable of using the Force. Maybe she really was just that good at it._

_Ashlyn turned around quickly at the first sense of no longer being alone. The moment she saw him, she stumbled backwards and tripped over herself. She quickly regained her balance and forced herself upright._

_Then again, maybe she was just lucky to have found her way here, Kylo Ren thought as Ash nervously brushed a stray strand of hair behind her ear. “It’s you again.” She said. “You were here last time.” She said, this time taking a good look at the man before her. His dark coal eyes that matched his very dark and yet unnaturally fabulous hair._

_“I could say the same about you.” He replied. “How do you keep getting here?”_

_Ashlyn shrugged. “This is my dream, isn’t it?”_

_Either she was really good at lying or she really had no idea where she was. “Actually, you’re in mine.”_

_Ashlyn laughed nervously. “How is that possible?”_

_Kylo Ren frowned as he folded his arms over his chest. “I was hoping you could tell me.”_

_He began to walk towards her, only to have her flinch in reply. “Sorry—“ She mumbled. “I had a bad experience with someone coming towards me earlier. Knee jerk reaction, I guess.” He realized then that Ashlyn had no idea who she was talking to. He had worn his mask when he attacked her, well, barely attacked her. Ashyln tried to be friendlier now. “Well, if we’re going to keep meeting like this, I might as well introduce myself. I’m Ashlyn, or Ash for short.”_

_He smirked slightly. “Kylo Ren.”_

_Her face immediately dropped as she took a step back. “You’re Kylo Ren?” It was rhetorical and left with no answer from the man before her as she immediately changed her expression. “You asshat!”_

_He was taken aback by the sudden angry outburst. “Excuse me?”_

_Ashlyn stood her ground. “Look, I get you’re the Commander and all but you don’t have to go around choking people!”_

_“It was an accident—“ He tried._

_“There’s a lot of work going on here and everyone is on edge. You don’t get a free pass just because you’re the Commander.”_

_His smirk returned. “I’m pretty sure I do.” He said smugly. “Shouldn’t you be afraid to speak to me like that again?”_

_Ashlyn matched his position as she folded her arms across her chest now. “If this is a dream, you can’t hurt me.”_

_“And what about when you wake?”_

_Ashlyn shook slightly. “I dare you to try that again. This time I’ll be ready for it.”_

               _“Will there be a next time? Your superior said you were going to terminate.” He challenged her before giving in. “Hux would like me to apologize. We—“ He corrected. “He truly believes you are an asset to this cause and wishes you to stay.”_

_“I don’t accept your apology.” She said quickly and stubbornly. Her tough demeanor faulting slightly. “Nor do I wish to stay if it means running into you.”_

_He groaned. “And what if I avoid you like the plague. Believe me, I don’t wish to see you either.”_

_“We can’t avoid each other.” Ashlyn began. “We keep ending up here.”_

_She had a point. “It’s a dream, I’m sure we can figure out how to avoid each other here.” He said as he watched Ashlyn shuffle awkwardly on her feet. “Will you continue your duties then?” He asked._

_Ash bit the inside of her lip as she thought about the concept of continuing her work here. She would let Sid down if she left, she would let the entire base down. However, she’d probably live to see another day. Which was worth more to her? “I will stay under the condition that you will leave me alone.”_

_“I can’t if you keep showing up in my dreams.” He said dryly._

_“Well, until you figure out how to stop me from doing that—“_

_“This will be the only time you ever see me.” Kylo Ren said. “Do we have a deal?”_

_Ash grinned. “Deal, Commander.”_

_Kylo Ren rolled his eyes as he turned and began to walk into the empty abyss. “I will find out what you are, Ashlyn. Mark my words on that.” He said as he continued on._

_“Well, that would be helpful for both of us.” Ashlyn muttered to herself as she turned and stormed off in the opposite direction of nothing._

              

 


	5. The Conference Room Fiasco

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Poor Ashlyn can't catch a break. Not with that jerk Kylo Ren running around.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey all! Thanks for checking out this story. Remember to leave a comment or some kudos! Let me know what you think!

* * *

 

 

The next morning Ashlyn had been cleared by the physician to head back to work. She had silently made her way down to the maintenance bay and to where the early morning meetings were held. The door slid opened and Ash wandered in; immediately she noticed all eyes were on her as Sid stopped paused. The room watched her sit down before Sid flashed a quick smile at her and continued. “So we are almost up and running full power on the top floors. The main generators are almost there, they need a bigger boost of power which is what I want you guys to work on today—“ Sid continued.

               Learning over from her left, Taka smiled as he whispered. “We thought you’d be five systems away by now.”

               Ash returned the smile. “Maybe four, five seems a little extreme.”

Taka laughed softly. “It’s good to have you back.”

               Ash nodded. “I was promised there wouldn’t be any more trouble.” She said, her mind wandering to the rather annoying Kylo Ren from her dreams. “So what is on the agenda?”

               “We need stronger conductors of power, Sid wants us to pair up and take the main quadrants of the base and work on our generators simultaneously. If we can get the main grid up, we should be set.”

               “Doesn’t sound too hard.”

Taka smirked. “Not for the lucky bastard you get paired with.” Ash couldn’t help but grin. Sid had finished his spiel about power couplings and to not put any body parts near any reactors. He began assigning teams for the workload, Ashlyn was somewhat relieved and happy to have been paired with Taka. They were to take up the main core, which luckily enough wasn’t too far from the main launch bay.

               The groups began to head out, Ashlyn and Taka were last to leave. Sid had stopped them, mostly to speak to Ash. “You’re here.” He said. “I’m honestly shocked.”

               Ash shrugged. “I was promised no more trouble. Besides, I have unfinished work here.”

“I’m glad you chose to stay. We need the help.” Sid said. “I’ll try and keep you away from the upper levels unless truly necessary.” He looked at Taka then back to Ashlyn. “Alright, enough chitchat. Get to your station and we’ll go from there.”

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

 

               He was curious now. A little _too_ curious about the red headed mechanic. How could she just cross into his dreams so easily? There had to be some Force strength in her. If that were the case, killing her wouldn’t exactly make anyone mad on base. All Force users had to be dealt with. If only it were so simple to prove that. Yet, he didn’t _feel_ anything when they were together in the dream world. He’d have to get closer to her again. Granted, he was somewhat barred from seeing her in the first place. Well, that was something he could get around.

               None of that mattered right in that moment, what _did_ matter was the aggravation he felt being in another goddamn meeting with Hux and Phasma.

               “I see you managed to get Ms. Novafall to stay after your—“ Hux paused. “Mishap.”

This was the first Phasma was hearing about the accident involving the new maintenance worker and their fearless Commander. “Another one, Ren?” She asked, disapproval in her tone.

               Kylo Ren folded his arms over his chest as he leaned back in his chair. “I didn’t kill this one.” He wished he had his mask on for that one. His glare menacing yet, he’d rather have the distorted tone to go with it. “She’s fine. However, I have reason to doubt her loyalty to this operation.”

               Hux sighed. “You can’t just question a subordinate because you were reprimanded for injuring them. Which, may I remind you, was due to your lack of control on your temper.” Phasma soon realized this was going to be one of _those_ meetings. “What is your suspicion?” He said with little to no enthusiasm.

               Kylo kept his cards close to his chest. “I will tell you once I have more confirmation on it.”

Hux groaned as Phasma exhaled deeply through her nostrils. “What are you planning on now, Ren? We barely got her to stay last time, please do not mess this up any further.”

               “It might be important to our investigations.” He added, causing the room to grow silent.

“You mean our current investigation?” Hux asked. Now he was interested. “You believe her to be a sympathizer?”

               “Or a user.” He carefully revealed.

Hux shook his head. “Then we must bring this matter to Snoke.”

               Phasma finally spoke up, she had had enough of this circus. “First of all, we don’t know if she actually is. Are you willing to lose your best chance at getting this base up and running because of a suspicion?” She asked Hux. “Besides—“ Her attention turned to Kylo Ren now. “How much evidence do you have?”

               “None—“ Hux nearly fell over. “ ** _Yet_**.” Kylo Ren added. “I need to get close to her and see for myself.”

               “Did we **_not_** just discuss staying away from Ashlyn?” Hux asked incredulously. “Is no one listening to me?”

               Phasma rolled her eyes. “Were you not just stating we take this matter to Snoke?” Hux’s jaw fell slack as he realized the ridiculousness of this scenario all-together. He quickly tightened his jaw as Phasma continued. “Let Kylo Ren get close enough to Ashlyn to determine her standing. If she is sensitive or a sympathizer, he can determine that quickly.”

               “And if she’s not?” Hux asked.

“Then let the damn girl work in peace.” Phasma answered. “That goes for you as well, Ren. Leave the poor girl alone once you figure out her position.” She hated playing babysitter to these children.

               Kylo Ren waved his hand dismissively. “Fine. Let me see what I can find.” With that the lights of the conference room flickered. “I assume they are not supposed to do that?”

               Hux narrowed his eyes. “No, they are not.” A migraine was beginning to form in poor General Hux’s head as he thought of all the frustrations having to do with the base and its inhabitants. Particularly the inhabitant sitting across from him in the dark robe.

               As if looking at Kylo Ren sent the message alone, he quickly grabbed his helmet on the table and stood from his seat. He placed the helmet with ease over his head and stormed out. Phasma looked at Hux questioningly. “We still had plans to go over.”

               “Just let him go. I don’t think I can handle any more of his antics today.” Hux said dejectedly as Phasma smirked in reply.

 

 

* * *

 

 

               Over Taka’s commlink, Sid began talking. “Whoa, guys. Take it easy on your reactors!”

“It’s not ours, Sid.” Taka said. “We have full capacity here.”

               Another voice came over the link. “Might be us, Sid.” It was one of the twins. “We had some bumpy pressure readings. It all looks stable now.”

               “I’m getting positive readings.” Sid added. “Looks like we might have done it.” He said with a chuckle. “Great work team, finish up your stations and go get yourselves some dinner!”

               Taka rolled his eyes playfully as he turned off the commlink. He returned his attention to the girl who was cleaning up as much of the reactor as she could. Her face had black grease marks from accidentally touching her cheeks after touching the generator belt. Taka laughed. “You could use a shower.”

               Ashlyn smiled. “Don’t get me started on you.” She retorted before closing up the cover to the main board. “I’m going to finish cleaning up here, you can go to the cafeteria if you want.”

               “Nah—“ Taka offered. “I’ll help you clean, it’s not much anyway.” He walked over to the main generator and took out a rag that was hanging in his back pocket. The two began to silently clean the generator board and anywhere they might have made a mess. It really wasn’t too much work, however, Ashlyn was somewhat grateful for the assistance. “So, what was he like?” Taka asked. “If you don’t mind me asking, that is.”

               Ash’s nose scrunched, unsure what Taka was getting at. “What was _who_ like?”

“Kylo Ren.” He clarified. “What was he like, what was it like getting Force choked?”

               Ashlyn sighed. “He’s not anything special. Just a grumpy person.”

Taka snorted. “There’s a human under that mask?”

               Ashlyn stopped cleaning for a moment as she asked a somewhat dumb question. “You’ve never seen him without his helmet?”

               “No—“ Taka said. “I mean, yes he’s a human. It’s just hard to believe from all the stories we’ve heard and the things we’ve seen.” He paused for a moment. “Wait, have _you_ seen him without his mask?”

               She kept her dreams to herself, that wasn’t really something she was willing to share with the rest of the team just yet. Besides, how did someone just come out and say ‘ _Hey, so I can totally get into the Commander’s dreams?’_. She still didn’t believe it herself. “No.” She lied. “Just curious if anyone had.”

               Taka shrugged. “A few people have. He just doesn’t usually take it off when he’s around the lower levels. Or the upper levels—“ Taka nervously laughed. “Okay so he _hardly_ takes off his mask.”

               Ash laughed with him. “Besides, if I never see him again, I may just sing with joy.”

The commlink turned on again as Sid’s voice echoed into the room. “Uh, Ash? You’ve been requested to the 100’s.” He said nervously. “Specifically the conference room.”

               Ash looked at Taka whom simply looked just a stumped as she was. “Am I in trouble?”

“Uhhhh—“ Sid began. “Not sure but, don’t freak out—“

               Ashlyn already had a feeling where this was going and sighed. “It’s him, isn’t it?”

“Yeah…” Sid trailed off. “Sooner rather than later.”

               “Looks like you won’t be singing anytime soon.” Taka tried to joke. “Go head to the conference room, I’ll finish up here.”

               Her shoulders deflated slightly as her stomach swarmed with butterflies. No, butterflies were a good feeling, this was more like angry bees. “Wish me luck.” She said, turning off her commlink and heading out of the room. Taka called his best wishes after her as she headed to the 100’s.

 

 

* * *

 

 

               Ashlyn stared at the door to the conference room for what felt like an eternity. She couldn’t move or bring herself to enter. Instead, she stared. Her chest rising and falling rapidly as she tried to muster any form of courage to go into the room.

               She licked her lips; blinked a few times and even shuffled from one foot to another. What was on the other side of that door was not something she wanted to deal with. Not now, not ever again. Yet, here she was, being summoned after originally being promised she’d have space. This isn’t exactly being given space.

               Finally, she inhaled deeply. Best to get this over with. With one brave step, she walked forward and walked through the now opened conference room door. She stepped into the room, the door closing and clicking behind her. The _click_ feeling like a death sentence as she stared at the man in black sitting at the conference table. He wasn’t wearing his helmet. She wasn’t sure if she had been expecting that or thrown off by it. Although, Ash preferred the helmet now. Especially with his amused expression.

               “I thought you were going to stand out there all day.” He said, motioning for the seat across from him. “Please.” Ash forced her feet to move as she walked to the conference table and sat in the seat that she was directed in. She looked up at him now, staring into his dark eyes. He was real, just like in her dream. Or his dream. Whosever dream that was. It didn’t matter, what did matter was how intimidating he was without the mask. Even when he was smirking.

               “What happened to leaving me alone?” Ashlyn asked, her voice cracking slightly.

He grinned. “I had to break my promise but, I’m sure you’ll understand why in a moment.”

               “I find that hard to believe.”

Kylo Ren leaned forward now, his forearms resting on the table as he stared at her. “I have reason to believe you have been lying to us.” He said quickly. “You’re able to penetrate my dreams and have ultimate access to them. That’s not something any normal person should do.”

               “I honestly have no idea how that’s happening.” Ashlyn said. “Any assistance in stopping that would be fantastic. I really don’t want to see you in my dreams anymore.”

               “My dreams.” He corrected.

She shook her head. “How do you know they’re not _my_ dreams?”

               He cocked an eyebrow, amusement still on his face. “Why would I ever want to be in your dreams? I have the superior knowledge here; the means of bringing down this base.” He said. “Is that what you’re looking for?”

               Ash sighed. “You people are so distrusting—“ She began. “No, I came here on assignment to help fix this base. I have nothing to hide.”

               He smirked now. “Then you wouldn’t be opposed to proving that?”

She shifted uncomfortably in her seat. “How so?”

               “Think of it as a lie detector test.” He explained simply. “A way for me to see if you’re lying or not.”

               Ashlyn narrowed her eyes. “What are you going to do?”

“An easy procedure, you won’t have to move at all.” He said. “Just stay still.”

               That was when she felt it, a pressure beginning at her forehead. It was a small pressure but, it felt like something was pushing to crack into her skull. Ashlyn squeezed her eyes shut; her hands immediately finding the arm rests on the chair and gripping tightly. “What are you doing?” She asked through gritted teeth.

               He was pleased with himself, causing discomfort in the girl, as he continued to smirk. “Taking what I want. If you have nothing to hide, you have nothing to worry about.” He said smugly. “Don’t worry, I can feel it too.”

               The pressure got worse in her head, it was no longer at the front of her mind but now reaching the middle. It felt like someone had their hands on her brain, wiggling their fingers around and poking and prodding her thoughts. In fact, she began to see them. She began to see things, her home planet, Laynor. The images came by fast; she tried to catch them in her mind, keep them from flashing but, she couldn’t. Everything flew by so quickly. Then _he_ came. The little boy with blond hair and blue eyes. Similar blue eyes that matched hers almost exactly. The moment his face came through, Ashlyn jerked back.

               Something had happened then, the connection and hold Kylo Ren had on Ashlyn broke. Ash now opening her eyes, her chest rising and falling rapidly as she stared at the now angry and confused Kylo Ren. She began to realize her surroundings again, the warm tears that had fallen down her cheeks. “What the hell—“ She gasped. “Did you just do?” She was angry.

               He was angry, disappointed even. There were no traces of being Force sensitive within her, nor any memory he could see involving sympathizers. However, the memory of the little boy caused something within Ash. Something that helped force her out of his grasp. A memory he now desperately wanted to see. “You’re not Force sensitive.” He confirmed.

               “No kidding.” She retorted. “I told you I wasn’t.” She loosened her grip on the chair, forcing herself up. She glared down at the man before her. “If you ever do that again—“ She threatened. “Whatever the hell that was. I will find a way to end you.”

               His glare matched hers now. “Are you threatening a superior officer?”

“I am.” She said strongly. “Stay the hell away from me.” Ash quickly removed herself from the situation and stormed out of the conference room. She made her promise to Kylo Ren, if he ever tried that again she’s kill him. It was as simple as that. If he came after her, well, that was his own undoing. Then again… how the hell was Ashlyn going to stop a Force user? She didn’t care, in the heat of that moment, she made her choice and stormed back to her room.

               Ashlyn locked herself away in her apartment, as soon as the door closed behind her, she sank down to her feet and sobbed. There were things better left forgotten in her mind. Things she never wanted to relive ever again. Kylo Ren made her do exactly that.

 

* * *

 

 

               _She expected to be there again. Like every night since her arrival, the dark and empty void awaited her. This time, however, she wanted to try something new. If this was a dream, who was to say she couldn’t control it?_

_Surprisingly, she had no visitors this time. Yet, ultimately Ashlyn was thankful as she tried her newest plan. For the entirety of her dream, she attempted to build and create in the dream. An attempt to create something to keep her safe from the likes of the missing Kylo Ren._

_Little did she know, he hadn’t been missing that night. He was there, like always; keeping his distance. He had felt from the moment she left the conference room, and throughout the night, **pain.** He felt her pain, and like the day he had knocked her unconscious… Kylo Ren felt a disgusting sense of remorse._

 

               

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey all! Thanks for checking out this story. Remember to leave a comment or some kudos! Let me know what you think!


	6. Brick Houses

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A long chapter about how much Kylo Ren annoys Ashlyn Novafall

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey! Happy Star Wars Celebration Day! Also, Happy The Last Jedi Trailer day! If you haven't seen it, go watch it! Here's a really long chapter to celebrate!
> 
> And thank you guys for reading! Please remember to leave kudos and/or a comment! I love hearing from you!

* * *

 

Kylo Ren found himself easily annoyed by everything as of late. He blamed the girl. Even if she was indirectly the cause of any aggravation, he blamed her anyway. It had been a week since their encounter in the conference room. The dreams were still prominent every night, however, Ren was quick to make sure he’d never run into her. Granted, he was very curious about the new brick walled structure in the center of nothingness. He’d eventually see it himself soon.

               At times, Kylo Ren found himself being pulled from the darkness and into the light. His training helped him stay within the dark confines of his grandfather’s ways. However, there were times he found himself faltering to the other side. He hated those times. He also hated that his pull to the light was a nasty guilt trip over Ashlyn. He felt weak and stupid; angry and destructive. He also felt an urge to apologize.

In typical moody fashion, Kylo Ren wore his helmet for the entire meeting as Phasma went over the new plans for finding the sympathizers. Currently, one planet held true to the rumor. Phasma just needed permission to send her troops. Kylo Ren was quick to say he’d join. A few weeks away from this base would be all too welcomed in his mind.

Heading down to the launch bay to check on his ship’s preparations, he was greeted by horrified expressions from the workers as they tried to stay out of his way. His robe billowing behind him with his giant steps as he headed for the black Upsilon in the center of the bay. Unfortunately, he was greeted by a flight attendant. “Sir.” He said, saluting him. Ren said nothing in reply as the nervous man continued. “We are experiencing difficulties with the engine. Something has gone wrong with the cooling system and things are—“ The man stopped as Kylo Ren’s mask let out an airy, distorted sigh.

“Have you contacted maintenance?” He asked darkly.

“Not yet…” The man said quietly, awaiting a lightsaber to the chest that never came.

               “Call for maintenance, ask for Ashlyn.” He said as he walked to the ship. “She can fix it.” The man nearly fell over as he quickly ran to the maintenance office to talk to Sid.

 

* * *

 

 

               “He wants  _what_  now?” Sid asked incredulously.

“He specifically asked for her.” The man said, pointing at the angry red head.

               Ashlyn stood her ground. “Tell him I said ‘no’.”

“You can’t just tell him no!” The man panicked. “He’ll cut us through with that light sword!”

               “Then I’ll tell him no!” Ashlyn yelled.

Sid sighed at the sight before him. “Listen, Ash. Just fix the damn ship. It won’t take long and he probably won’t even bother you.”

               “He specifically asked for me, that’s grounds for bothering.” Ashlyn added.

“Go fix the damn ship. If I send anyone else he’ll probably kill them—“ Sid said. “Or me!”

               Grumbling to herself, Ashlyn hooked her tool kit to her belt and stormed out. She grumbled the entire way to the maintenance bay with obscenities that should have never been repeated in the language of Basic.

 

* * *

 

 

               It was obvious that Kylo Ren was on the ship, none of the flight crew were near the black Upsilon. They avoided it like it were about to explode. Ashlyn almost wished it would as she stormed up the entrance ramp and onto the ship. She didn’t see him at first and was almost a little too relieved. That was until he sulked from the darkest part of the ship and spoke. “I’m surprised you didn’t send someone else.”

               Ashlyn jumped, causing Kylo Ren to smirk as she repositioned herself. “Didn’t want you killing my group off until I showed up.” She retorted. “Is the ship even broken?”

               He nodded, adjusting his helmet tighter under his arm as he spoke. “The cooling system is shot, I had a look myself. It’s an easy fix with the right tools.”

               “So someone else could have fixed it?”

“I asked for you.” He reminded her dutifully. Ashlyn rolled her eyes as she headed towards the engine panel in the ship. She noticed the panel door had already been removed. He really had taken a look himself. Ignoring that little fact, she knelt down and began to check the system herself. “What are you trying to build in the dream?” He asked, leaning his back against the wall as Ashlyn moved around different parts of the engine.

               “So you  _are_  still in the dreams.” She confirmed. “I thought you finally figured out how to leave me alone.”

               “Again, you’re in  **my**  dream. I’ve yet to figure out how to remove you.” He said dryly. “Now what are you building?”

               She pulled at a few cables. “A brick house to hide in. A place where you can’t get into.”

He snorted. “You think it’ll work?”

               “No clue, guess we’ll find out.” She grabbed another panel, this time disconnecting it from the cooling system and holding it up to Kylo Ren. “Make yourself useful.”

               He rolled his eyes and took the panel piece as Ash continued working. “You know I had to do that as a precaution right?” She hummed in reply. “We had to make sure you weren’t loyal to the Jedi’s or Resistance.”

               “You’re the first Force user I’ve met.” She said. “And again, you had an extensive file on me. I have no ties to anything. I’m neutral.”

               “ ** _Again_** , it was still my job.” He reiterated with a snarky tone that caused Ash to sigh. “Who was the blond boy?” He asked carefully and still trying to keep his non-caring tone intact. “The one you tried so hard to hold onto?”

               Ash pulled back the compressor, taking it out of the cooling system and cleaning it off. This thing hadn’t been cleaned in months and was probably the issue. She took out her screwdriver and began to loosen the main hatch to see what needed adjusting. “My little brother.” She said, detaching herself from all emotion as she fiddled with the inner workings of the system piece.

               He could tell this wasn’t going to end well. “What happened to him?”

Ashlyn inhaled deeply, as if ready to tell him. Then she decided against it as she reached her hand for the panel. “Why not just rip that from my head too?”

               He narrowed his eyes as he handed the panel back to her. “I’d rather not have to.”

“But you would.” The staring contest began then, his dark eyes and her light ones. Neither one losing their stare as the tension built around them. Ashlyn broke the gaze first, looking away and returning to her work. She didn’t want to be there any longer than she had to be.

               “What if I promised never to do it again?” He offered.

Ashlyn scoffed. “Like choking me? We are going to begin a long list of things you’ll promise never to do again.” She said. “Why are you trying to get on my good side anyway?”

               He rolled his eyes. “I’m not. However, having you not be mad at me will make it easier trying to figure out how you’re able to enter my dreams.”

               “I still think they’re  _my_  dreams.” She said in a sing-song voice as she replaced the cooling piece.

“Regardless, I’d like to know why it’s happening.” Kylo Ren said as he looked down at Ashlyn. She had replaced most of what she had removed and sat back on her heels again. “It would be much easier with your help.”

               “Go turn the main systems on.” She ordered, ignoring his request and demanding her own.

He snorted. “Yes ma’am.” He said, amusement over her bossy tone as he headed for the front of the ship and to the main control panels. The engine started up with ease, this time there were no error messages. The cooling system had been fixed. Like he said, it was an easy fix.

               Ashlyn didn’t need to be told it was working, just the small hum from the cooling system in front of her confirmed it. She smiled to herself at her handy work and replaced the panel covering. Ashlyn stood up, brushing her pants off and turned to see Kylo Ren had returned to where he was before. “Can I go now?” She asked.

               “Do we have a deal?” He replied.

“No.” She stated simply as she headed for the exit ramp, leaving a smirking Kylo Ren behind.

 

 

* * *

 

 

Ash wandered into the maintenance bay, still a little grumpy from her latest encounter with Commander Ren. However, her mood lifted greatly when she heard her maintenance team in the main debriefing area. They were making quite the ruckus, Ashlyn couldn’t help but be curious as she entered the debriefing room. They sat in a circle on the floor, glasses in their hands filled with what Ash could only assume was alcoholic. “What is going on?” She asked as the group cheered loudly over something she couldn’t understand.

               Sid waved her over; shuffling aside to let Ash kneel beside him. “Ever play Sabacc?” He asked.

Ash smiled. “The guys at home used to play Corellian Spike. I never did.” She said as she watched Grim deal out the next hand of cards.

               “Same concept except no dice.” Sid explained. “You still need a Pure Sabacc hand to win.”

“Positive or negative twenty-three, right?” Ash asked.

               Sid nodded, showing her his hand. “Grab yourself some beer, its Gamorrean so it’s kind-of heavy.” Grinning, Ash reached over to grab a bottle of the Gamorrean beer and continued to watch the game as the maintenance team played. The rest of the group was focused on the game and how intense it was getting. Sid used this time to ask Ash the important questions. “How did it go?”

               Ash took a sip of the very strong beer. “Not as bad as it could have been.”

“Any reason he asked specifically for you?”

               She thought for a moment. How could she answer this question without lying and yet not telling too much of what was going on? “Your guess is as good as mine.” She wasn’t exactly lying, right?

               “And how about you?” He asked, genuinely caring about her wellbeing. “How are you doing? Everything going okay?”

               Ash smiled slightly as she took another sip. “Yeah. It’s different but, I’m okay with it. I like being useful.”

               “Well we like having you here.” Sid admitted, beaming slightly. Ash figured he was slightly drunk. “Listen, I have some good news for you.” Ash hummed in reply. “Your buddy, the Commander?” He began, causing Ash to grimace. “He’s going on a mission with Captain Phasma and a few troopers. Won’t be back for at least two weeks. You get a break from him.”

               Ash felt a wave of relief wash over her. “You’re kidding.”

“Nope, heard it today from the flight crew. He leaves in the morning; they’re off on a mission somewhere. Won’t be back for roughly two weeks. You’re welcome.” His face dropped when he realized he had lost Sabacc and Grim was now cheering. “Ah, damn!”

               Ash joined in the laughter. Three whole weeks without Kylo Ren. She could finally get work done and maybe get a moment to relax. A girl could dream.

 

And she would…

 

* * *

 

 

_Like Ashlyn had promised, the brick house in their dream world was there to hide her from his sight. It was more like four walls and a ceiling but, it got the job done. She began to make the finishing touches, more reinforcements to the side. There couldn’t be any potential breeches if she wanted to successfully hide from Kylo Ren._

_Ashlyn took a step back to see her handy work, smiling to herself as she admired the beautiful brick house before her. “How do you plan on getting in there?” He asked curiously, now standing next to the proud owner of the brick house._

_“That’s a secret.” She admitted. “Club members only, can’t get in without knowing the secret.”_

_Kylo Ren grinned. “A secret that will spoil so easily.” He said. “We seem to end up here at the same time, I’ll eventually see it.”_

_“Then I’ll just have to keep perfecting it.” She said, nervously rocking back and forth on her heels. “So you’re leaving for two weeks?”_

_He pursed his lips. “Word travels fast.”_

_“The flight crew needs to know your agenda.”_

_He nodded. “I suppose you’re excited not having to see me?”_

_She grinned a Cheshire grin. “You have no idea.”_

_Ren returned the grin. “You’ll still see me in your dreams.” He reminded her._

_She glared. “Thought they were **your** dreams.” He chuckled. “Besides, if I had to choose being forced to see you in reality or here, I’d choose here every time.”_

_He looked slightly perplexed. “And why is that?”_

_Ash gestured to the brick structure. “I have some control over what happens. I’m safe.”_

_Kylo Ren rolled his eyes. “You’re always safe.”_

_She gave him a pointed look now. “Am I?”_

_“With a few exceptions.” He simpered. Ash actually laughed. “Fine, have your free time away. When I return you and I are going to solve this **dream** issue.”_

_“I’d rather not be willingly or forced to work with you.” She admitted smugly._

_“Then you’re stuck with me.” He said._

_“I’ll figure it out on my own.” It was a promise. A promise she couldn’t keep no matter how hard she tried._

* * *

 

               Two weeks came and went since Kylo Ren had left and it seemed like as soon as he took off he was coming back to StarKiller. Ashlyn had found peace during that time, she didn’t have to look over her shoulder as much. In fact, it was also her most productive weak. Another reactor went up smoothly, Ash took over the project with Sid’s permission. The base was becoming more stable in those weeks, Ashlyn was super proud of that notion. Others, whom watched from a distance, were also pleased.

               Another reason Ashlyn had found such peace came in the form of the dreams. Since the morning Kylo Ren left, Ashlyn didn’t find herself in the middle of that same nothingness. In fact, her dreams were typical and ordinary. Maybe they had finally found a way to break whatever spell had been happening. It didn’t matter, Ashlyn didn’t focus too hard on it and soon after the first week, she had forgotten about it entirely.

               Her first month was coming to a close, only five more to go before she was off this disgusting rock and back home. Back to safety and back home away from the menace known only as Kylo Ren.

In the afternoon, Ash quietly wandered into the cafeteria. A few Troopers sat eating their lunch, otherwise the room was practically empty. ‘ _I should always come here around this time.’_ Ash thought to herself as she grabbed herself something quick to eat and sat down at an empty table far from the other inhabitants eating.

               She wouldn’t be alone for long, however. A voice to her left snapped her into attention, a familiar, smug voice. “Mind if I join you?”

               Ash looked up to see the red haired General, a coy smile on his lips as he held a tray of his own. “By all means.” Ash offered politely, although she really wanted the alone time. Unfortunately, when one pain in the ass was out of the way, another would soon take its place it would seem.

               Hux nodded, taking a seat across from Ashlyn and placing his tray gently on the table. He didn’t have much on the tray except for a few pieces of fruit. “I was hoping to track you down earlier this week, however we have both been very busy.” Ash nodded, looking down at her tray of food then back at Hux. “How has your first month been? No more accidents, I hope.”

               “Nothing too horrific.” She replied.

He nodded, pleased with the answer as he took a bite of fruit from his tray. “And are working conditions to your satisfaction?”

               Ash raised one brow. “I’m not looking to terminate early, if that’s what you’re concerned about.”

               He smirked. “While that is good to hear, Ms. Novafall. I am just concerned that everything is up to standard.” Something about Hux bothered Ashlyn, she wasn’t exactly sure what it was. He had this demeanor that gave her the wrong impression at times. “You’ve been working hard, I see.” He said. “Two reactors are fully functioning. Only a few more before the base is fully operational. Your work is not going unnoticed.”

               “I hope in a good way.”

Hux chuckled. “I assure you, in the most positive way. The higher-ups are pleased.”

               That confused Ashlyn slightly. “I thought on this base you were the highest authority besides Commander Ren?”

               Hux grimaced slightly. “Unfortunately, there are those even _we_ must answer to.” He admitted. “Besides, I’d like to think I rank higher than Kylo Ren.”

               Ash grinned. “I doubt he’d agree to that. He seems stubborn.”

“You have no idea.” Hux agreed willingly. “He has not bothered you since the incident, has he?”

               Ash finally took a bite from her tray, feeling a little more relaxed around General Hux. “Honestly, it’s hard to avoid someone who keeps breaking everything you need to fix.”

               Hux clicked his tongue to the roof of his mouth. “Ren has a bad habit of doing that. His temper will be his downfall, I’m sure.” Ashlyn smiled, agreeing with the General before looking around at the cafeteria. She noticed the Troopers in the corner were looking in their direction. Hux looked too, the Troopers immediately snapped back to their group. “I suppose it’s time for me to head back. This operation cannot proceed without its General.”

               Ash nodded. “I still have more work to do as well.”

Hux removed himself from the table, taking his tray with him. “You are doing well here, Ashlyn. If you wish to extend your contract, please do not hesitate. We would love to have you.” Ashlyn said nothing, a pit in her stomach forming as Hux excused himself from the cafeteria. The concept of staying any longer seemed like the worst idea anyone could have ever possibly have had. More time around that awful Kylo Ren? No thank you.

 

* * *

 

 

 

               Kylo Ren had returned later in the afternoon. Their mission proving somewhat useful. While they did not find exactly what they were looking for, it lead to more clues to finding more sympathizers that could potentially have the answers he needed. Regardless, he had to tell Snoke everything that had happened on the mission. That was his first task after disembarking the black Upsilon.

               He headed to the cave entrance, taking deep strides as he walked with purpose into the cavern where he stood before the large projection. Snoke had been waiting for him, like he always had. “Commander Ren.” Snoke’s breathy voice echoed within the cavern. “What news have you?”

               Kylo Ren kept his mask on, his only protection around Snoke. “The sympathizers have been eliminated. They did not have the map to Skywalker, however—“

               “So you have failed again.” Snoke interrupted. “What a pity.”

Kylo stood his ground. “Not exactly, Supreme Leader. We have information regarding other colonies of sympathizers. We plan to—“

               Snoke interrupted again. “We are running out of time. If the Resistance gets word of our plans to find Skywalker, they will try and warn him and turn him to their side. An unnecessary problem I’d rather snuff out sooner than later. Until he is eradicated, this mission is a failure.” Anger coursed through Kylo Ren. Once again he found himself being belittled by the Supreme Leader. The sense of failure flooding his mind. “See to it you do not fail anymore, Commander. Otherwise, we will need to take necessary measures to change that. Now go.”

               And now, the once somewhat confident Kylo Ren stormed out of the cavern. His anger rising as he stormed off to his apartment. He had to do something, _anything_. He needed answers and no one on his team was getting them. He had to come up with his own answers and his own way of finding Skywalker.

               Kylo Ren entered his apartment and began pacing around the main area in hopes an idea would hit him in the head. Then, it hit him. No, it literally hit him. A light fixture had fallen in his apartment, causing quite the racket. Sure, he wasn’t hurt as the fixture only hit shoulder. It still hurt his pride none the less. However, before sending the fixture to its ultimate demise by lightsaber, Kylo Ren realized he knew a mechanic who could fix it. At least, he could annoy her and maybe improve his mood slightly. The girl who had invaded his dreams and then so simply disappeared when he had left.

 

* * *

 

               After twenty minutes of arguing with through Sid as he nervously spoke to the Commander through the commlink (which he could also hear Ash’s not-so-nice words), they finally convinced her to head to the 100’s and to the Commander’s apartment. Of course, this did not go down without multiple warnings from Sid before she left not to touch anything or cause any trouble. Ash rolled her eyes and grumbled as she carried a new lightbulb along with a ladder and begrudgingly went to Kylo Ren’s apartment.

               He answered the door with a winning grin, one that she wanted to hit him for. Instead she motioned to be let in. Kylo Ren moved to the side as Ashlyn entered the rather large apartment. The place was much larger than hers. This apartment had a couch, a fireplace, his large bed covered in (unsurprisingly) black sheets, and another doorway that lead to what Ashlyn assumed was the washroom. And good lord, that bookcase. Unlike her bookcase, his was filled with books. “Perks of being the commander.” He noted her staring.

               Ash rolled her eyes and wandered over to where the mess on the floor was. She looked up at the broken fixture and immediately could tell it was from a fault screw. “I’d say you did this on purpose but, it’s actually broken.”

               “You think so little of me.”

“You make it hard not to.” She said with a smile before setting up the ladder under the light. Carefully she climbed the ladder, balancing the new lightbulb in one hand and steadying herself as she climbed. It wasn’t too high of a climb but, it was enough to break a few bones if she fell. Ashlyn sat at the top step and began to work on the light as Kylo Ren stood idly by, watching her. “Don’t you have  _Commander_  things to do?” She asked.

               “I’m overseeing a subordinate over their work. What could be more of a  _Commander_  thing than that?” He retorted.

               Ash placed the lightbulb gently on her lap as she reached up to the fixture and began replacing the broken parts that managed to malfunction. So much seemed to go wrong with this place, she really couldn’t convince herself otherwise that it was actually Kylo Ren’s fault. Though she’d think it anyway in spite of him. “So how does a Force user become a Commander in the First Order?” She asked, since he wasn’t going anywhere any time soon. “Don’t they hate Force users?”

               “Different circumstances call for exceptions to rules.” He said with disinterest as he wandered towards his bookcase. He tried to look somewhat busy and not stare at the girl as she worked. “How does a mechanic willingly come to work for the First Order? I assumed we had a bad reputation.” He mimicked her question asking now.

               She involuntarily smiled as she worked. “You do.” She agreed. “Most of our mechanics were horrified when we heard the First Order wanted our help.”

“Then why did you so willingly volunteer?” He questioned.

“I didn’t.” Ashlyn corrected him. “I was chosen, I guess would be the correct way to put it. My boss sent my resume and it was approved by the First Order. I’m assuming Sid looked at my skills and selected me.”

               Kylo nodded as he grabbed a book and wandered over to his couch. He plopped down onto the couch and haphazardly placed his feet up on the coffee table. He opened the book and began turning pages. No, he wasn’t really interested in reading so much as he was just trying to look preoccupied and disinterested. “Are you sure it wasn’t fate that brought you here? Divine intervention from the Force?” He asked dryly.

               Ashlyn sighed. “Not this again.” She said, and shifted on the ladder. Immediately as she did, the lightbulb began to roll off her lap and towards the floor. Panic rose in her body; that was the only lightbulb she brought and there it went. The seconds ticked by as Ash awaited the sound of the glass shattering yet, it never came. No, instead, the lightbulb seemed to stop in place merely inches from the floor. She turned and looked behind her to see Kylo Ren and his left hand raised. His eyes still on the book as he continued skimming the page he was on. Okay, Ash was  _mildly_ impressed. “Show off—“ She mumbled, causing Ren to smirk as he waved his hand again. This time, the lightbulb began to float upwards and back within her reach. Ashlyn snatched the bulb the millisecond it came within reach and secured it properly on her lap once more. “So what else can you do?” He hummed musically in reply. “What other magic tricks do you know?”

               “It’s not a magic trick.” He replied disgustedly. “It’s the Force.”

Ash rolled her eyes. “Fine, the  _Force_.” She corrected herself. “What else can you do besides invade people’s personal thoughts and—“ She paused thinking of a term. “Play catch, I guess?”

               He snorted. “It’s levitation, first of all.” He corrected her once more. “I can do a many number of things with the Force. My training is not yet fully complete but, I am strong.”

               “Ah-huh.” She said, feigning disinterest as she securely fastened the light now into the socket. She was almost done, which was more of a relieving thought. Although, this conversation with Kylo Ren wasn’t as awful as it could have been. “And what about Force dreams?”

               Kylo Ren peered over at Ash as she began to replace the casing for the light. “Why don’t you tell me?”

               “I’m not Force savvy, or whatever it is.” She snapped.

“Force Sensitive—“ He said.

               “Whatever.”

He snickered. “But yes, to answer your question, Force dreams are a power. I’ve had many Force dreams but, this is different.”

               “How so?” Ashlyn asked, now turning slightly to look at the Commander on the couch.

He looked at her, his one eyebrow quirked as he answered. “The people in my Force dreams are typically dead.” Ash grimaced, causing Kylo Ren to chuckle darkly. “I assume you aren’t dead.”

               “I should hope not.” Ash said, turning around and placing her attention in the light fixture again. She replaced the cover panel over the light and began to replace the screws one by one. “So are you the only member in your family who can use the Force?”

               He was silent for a moment; closing the book in front of him and tossing it to the side of the couch before removing his feet from the table. “My grandfather was a very powerful Force user.” He stated before standing up from the couch now. “One of the greatest.”

               Ash nodded. “That’s quite the reputation to live up to then.”

“Sometimes.” He agreed as he watched Ash lean to her far right, attempting to screw in the last screw. “You’re going to fall.”

               She snapped. “Am not. I’m quite good at balancing.”

“Why not get off the ladder and move it closer?” He asked with annoyance.

               “That takes too much time.” She said. “Besides, why not move me yourself, oh powerful one.” She wasn’t serious. However, he wasted no time in calling her bluff and immediately began to move the ladder. Panic immediately took over once again causing Ashlyn to flail at the sudden moving ladder and soon she found herself repeating what the lightbulb had done early and tumbled towards the ground. She expected the broken wrist or quite possibly a rib, she did  _not_  expect the floating a few inches from the floor.

               “What happened to being good at balancing?” He mocked from behind.

“That does not include when someone moves a ladder with their mind.” She explained hastily. “Now would you please let me down so I could finish.”

               “As you wish.” Ren said with disinterest. With a wave of his hand, Ash crashed to the ground. Granted it was only a few inches, she’d live. However, she was still angry when she stood up and brushed off her pants.

               “Fine, that screw isn’t going to be tight then.” She threatened. “Better hope it doesn’t crash again.”

               He grinned wickedly. “I’ll just call my favorite maintenance worker to fix it.”

Surprisingly, Ashlyn smiled in reply. Yet the smile was not complete without the company of an eye roll as she sighed. “Anything you need or can I go?”

               “Are we on better terms?” He asked.

Ash groaned as she walked over to the ladder. “Fine, only if it means you’ll leave me alone now.”

               He changed his rule. “Only if you assist in removing you from my dreams.”

“I thought we were passed that, I haven’t had a dream like that since you left.”

               Kylo Ren thought for a moment. “I have a feeling it may have to do with the distance between us. We’ll see if tonight makes a difference.”

               “If that’s the case, maybe you should leave more and for longer periods of time.” She teased. As quickly as she could, Ash collapsed the ladder and turned back to Kylo Ren. “Commander.”

               He smirked. “Ms. Novafall.” And with that, Ashlyn left the Commander’s apartment. Kylo Ren finding himself still nowhere near figuring out Ashlyn Novafall. However, he felt he was getting one step closer. He would soon prove once and for all that she was a Force user and then maybe, just maybe get to oversee her execution. He’d only be so lucky.

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you guys for reading! Please remember to leave kudos and/or a comment! I love hearing from you!


	7. Hell Freezes Over Part 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> And then the strangest thing happened...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! Thanks so much for reading, we've had over 200 people read this story! Yay! Let's see if we can get more kudos and comments?! To those who have been, you rock!

* * *

 

He was right and Ashlyn hated that. He was right about a lot of things but, the most important thing he was right about now was the fact that the dreams returned. It had to have been the distance between them that cause their little break. Now they were back and just as ridiculous as ever. The moment she saw his smug, smirking, stupid face she wanted to punch him. However, she knew it wouldn’t hurt him in the dream world. At least, she’d have  _some_  satisfaction about it.

               They were back to square one now and had nothing to go one except for their new distance revelation. Ren still convinced Ashlyn had an undetected Force sensitivity about her and Ashlyn chalking it up to Kylo Ren not being able to control his properly. This, of course, caused a very angry fight that led to the conjuring of the utmost ridiculous things in the dream. One of these things being a Rathtar that Ashlyn tried to drop on top of Kylo. That didn’t work as well as she planned and then the two were running from a Rathtar for the rest of the dream. Neither one able to focus enough to remove it.

               They spent their waking hours apart, avoiding each other like the space plague. It was the better option to get things done but for the rest of the week, their dreams was where they met. Ashlyn even stopped hiding in the brick house. Their mission was to figure out how to stop the crossover, and that’s where they kept it. Of course, things couldn’t always be so easy.

               Ashlyn had very little contact with anyone outside of StarKiller. There was a strict policy that all communications were to be sanctioned at specific times, in a certain area and on a private connection. This was more for the security of the base and the anonymity of it. The communications area normally held higher ranking officers, rarely did Ash see Storm Troopers there. Granted, she only glanced into the room a handful of times.

               Today was different. It was her official one month anniversary on StarKiller and she felt the need to make contact with the man who had sent her here in the first place. He was smiling, the wrinkles under his eyes seeming more prominent. It could have been the fact that Ash hadn’t seen him in a month. Yet, he still looked good for his old age. “Look at that uniform!” Laynor gushed as he commented on Ashlyn’s appearance. “You look like an official member of the First Order.”

               Ashlyn grimaced slightly as she looked down at her jumped. “Yes, well, I’m trying to blend in like you asked.”

               “Not causing too much trouble, I hope.” He snorted. When he didn’t received a reply back, he sighed. “What did you do, Ash?”

               Ashlyn shook her head defensively. “I haven’t done anything.

“I know that look.” Laynor said, receiving an eye roll from Ash. “I’ve known you since you were fourteen. That’s thirteen years! Don’t tell me I don’t know what I’m talking about! You’ve been in my care and in my shop for thirteen years, what is happening?”

               It was true, since the day she arrived at the old shop at the young age of fourteen, Laynor had become a mentor to her. Granted he was not really a fatherly figure, he still took care of her. Laynor had been the reason Ashlyn learned her trade. He put her to work and made her useful. Some would look ill upon that sort of situation yet, Ashlyn was grateful at the end of the day. Laynor had taken her in at one of the lowest points in her life. “I ran into some—“ She started, carefully choosing her words. “Issues.”

               “Issues?” He asked, his brows furrowing into a frown as he learned back on his creaky chair. “What type of  _issues_?”

“Nothing major.” Ashlyn shrugged, keeping her nonchalant tone. It was better to keep this conversation calm. Yet, she knew exactly where this was going. “I’ve been having weird dreams again—“

               “Not this again.” Laynor’s shoulders deflated as he rubbed his eyes tiredly. “Have you told anyone?”

Ash shook her head. “No.” Then immediately remembered Kylo Ren; Laynor saw the hesitation in her expression. “There’s a Force user here who may know.”

               “Ash…” He said sternly. “How much do they know?” She didn’t answer. “How much?” He repeated.

               “Not much, I don’t think.” She admitted. “This time it’s just—“ She paused. “ _Different._ ”

Laynor nodded. “I had thought six months was a short enough time where this _dilemma_ wouldn’t come to light. I need you to lay low and stay away from this Force user. You’re almost done on your contract. Now, while I don’t think they’ll look twice at the dream scenario, you must be careful anyway.” He pursed his lips before finally saying. “We’ve said too much already.”

               “So now what?” She asked. “Do I come home?”

Laynor forced a halfhearted smile. “Remember what I’ve told you?” He said. “Keep it safe?”

               “Keep it hidden.” She replied, a small smile tugging on her lips.

“That’s my girl.” He said. “Now don’t you have work to do?” He teased.

               Ashlyn full out smiled. “I’ll check in again soon.”

“Please do.” Laynor replied as the transmission disconnected.

               Ashlyn sat back in her seat now staring at the black screen before her. Ashlyn hadn’t been fully honest with Kylo Ren. Then again, what did she owe him that warranted such honesty? She didn’t. Yet, Ashlyn had been harboring a bigger secret than she had let on to.

               From the age of seven, Ashlyn had been having very strange dreams for a young child. It was like Ashlyn had been watching her life slowly unfold before her. At first, it didn’t make sense. Yet, when she told her Mother about her Father dying in a freighter accident it began to make sense.

               While the dreams were not always constant, she would have days or sometimes weeks when her dreams would only show a forecast of something that could happen. That was the problem, it was never definite and when it was… well, Ashlyn wished it never was.

               Then there would be nothing for months, sometimes even  _years_  at a time. Her mind would go quiet until the nightmares came back. This time in the form of her younger brother. In thirteen years, Ashlyn still couldn’t talk about it. There was no right time to talk about it. She didn’t believe there ever would be.

               Did that make her Force sensitive? Probably not. It just made her weird and questionable. Laynor had gone the extra mile to keep Ashlyn out of trouble. Whether or not it was for his own personal gain, less of a headache to worry about perhaps. It didn’t matter to Ashlyn. She would just rather not dream at all. For a good long while, it worked. Yet, the day she stepped onto StarKiller, things changed.

               Her data pad blinked a few times, removing Ashlyn from her daydream and snapped her back into the reality. She was still on StarKiller and like Laynor said, her weird dreams were not important. She had to keep it safe and keep it hidden. The best way to do that was to keep busy and it looked like Sid had something new for her.

 

 

* * *

 

               “You want me to go outside?” She asked, praying she had heard him wrong. Immediate regret washed over Ashlyn that she had ever responded to the data pad message. Now here she was in Sid’s office, her jaw nearly hitting the floor.

Sid just nodded. “Unfortunately. There’s a panel outside that works the manual door switch. It’s not reacting properly, we need it up and running and you’re the only one available.”

               “Yeah but—“ Ash tried to find an excuse, she had none. “It’s so cold. There’s snow. I’ve never been in snow.”

               Sid grinned. “Then this should be a fun, new experience for you.” Ashlyn groaned as she turned on her heels and headed out of Sid’s office. “Dress warm!” He called after her. As much as she loved Sid and really enjoyed his existence, she found she also hated him all the same. Okay, it was more of a love-hate scenario.

               Regardless, she was trudging out the nearest utility door and into the freezing cold tundra of StarKiller. Even with the three coats she found, Ashlyn felt like she was freezing to death. People who chose to live on a planet like this willingly were just crazy in her mind.

               Stomping her way through the snow, she dragged her handy tool kit with her and marched out to the woods. What she needed was a small little wiring panel that was further from the base for safety reasons. She had a feeling the problem wasn’t in the switch but the actual power supply to it. Right now, she wished death upon the man who designed the distance so far from the warmth and shivered as she continued walking.

               Finally, buried under fresh snowfall, she found the breaker box and plopped down next to it. The cold was unbearable on her legs, she could feel it through the material of her pants. She had to work quickly and make sure all cables were connected properly. They weren’t. Groaning through chattering teeth, Ashlyn kept thinking about how miserable of a time this way. Unfortunately for her, her thoughts and bad vibes were unknowingly being broadcasted elsewhere.

                _‘Can you stop complaining? As much as you think I’d love for your discomfort, it’s actually rather annoying’_  She heard.

Immediately Ashlyn stopped what she was doing and looked around the very empty woods. She looked behind her to the base, nothing. “Hello?” She called out, receiving barely an echo in return.

                ‘ _In your head, dear.’_

“Oh by the maker, no!” She groaned, realizing who she was hearing in her head. “You can do this too?”

               ‘ _You know you can just internally speak and I can hear it, right? It will more than likely sound better without the constant teeth chattering.’_

So Ashlyn tried. ‘ _Can you hear me?’_

She could hear the smirk in Kylo Ren’s… thoughts. ‘ _There she is. Now stop complaining.’_

_‘Maybe you should stop listening in on my thoughts. Also, it’s freezing outside!’_

_‘Why the hell are you outside?’_  He asked as if that was the dumbest idea.

               ‘ _Working.’_ She said. ‘ _Not my choice.’_

_‘So you’ll tell me_ ** _no_** _when you don’t want to do something but not Sid?’_ He asked. ‘ _I’m your Commander.’_

               Ashlyn smirked. ‘ _Yeah but, I like Sid. There’s a difference.’_

_‘Ouch, my ego.’_ Kylo said flatly. ‘ _Are you even wearing a coat?’_

_‘Three, actually.’_  She admitted sheepishly.

_‘And you’re still cold?’_

Ashlyn frowned as she continued adjusting the wiring on the panel. ‘ _I’m not used to cold.’_

‘ _Apparently.’_ Kylo responded dryly.

               ‘ _So is this just a thing now? You’re going to just pop into my head and talk to me? Listen in on my thoughts?’_

_‘I try not to do that, you find out a lot of weird things about people.’_  Ashlyn immediately felt panic rush over herself. ‘ _I listened in because I could feel your distress, like how you’re panicking right now.’_

               ‘ _This is creepy.’_ She said, looking back down at the panel. Ashlyn had been so focused on her thoughts that she hadn’t noticed the heavy footsteps coming up behind her until he was already standing over her.

“Well no wonder you’re freezing.” Ashly yelped, jumping as she turned to see a very amused Kylo Ren behind her now. His mask under his arm as he stood towering over her.

               “Great!” She gasped, holding her hand to her chest as her heart thudded. “Can you teleport now too?”

 He chuckled. “I walked, actually. I was heading down to the maintenance bay when I could feel your distress.”

               Ashlyn narrowed her eyes. “Why were you going to maintenance?” She asked accusingly.

“Relax, I wasn’t going there for you.” He informed her with distaste. “I began to notice a drop in temperature in my apartment and went to ask Sid if he had any information as to why.”

               As she shivered slightly, something sounded off about the heating situation. “The temperature should be on an automatic timer.” She informed him, although it was more of Ashlyn talking to herself. Kylo Ren didn’t really care, he just wanted it fixed. “To be honest, the base has been a little cold today.”

               “Maybe it’s broken, like everything else on this base.” He said mockingly.

Ashlyn glared as she turned back to the panel she had been working with and continued in her attempts to fix it. “Are you just going to stand here and watch me work?”

               “I was going to see Sid, remember?” Kylo informed her not-so-nicely. “Although, I couldn’t resist checking to see if you were an icicle or not.”

Her laugh surprised him, he expected an angrier response. “That would make life so much easier for you.” She teased.

               “Indubitably.” He found himself teasing right back. “But then I’d have a frozen maintenance worker on my conscience and General Hux would never let me live it down.”

               “You have a conscience?” She feigned being shocked; Ren just smirked in reply. Ashlyn found the source of the problem, someone swapped wires. With a low growl, she ripped the wires from their ports and rearranged them accordingly.

               At that point, Kylo Ren was now to her immediate left, crouching down to see what she was working on. “You always seem to know what you’re doing.” He commented.

“I make it up as I go.” She murmured as she rewired the console. “Aren’t you cold?” She asked, noting out of the corner of her eye he wasn’t wearing anything extra on top of his normal attire.

               “I’m normally a warm person.” He explained simply.

“Is it from being angry and aggravated all the time?” She was half joking.

               Kylo Ren snorted. “How can I not be when you’re constantly invading my dreams?”

She attached the final wires, her teeth chattering still as she closed the panel. “I’m sure I’m not the worst annoyance in your life, Commander.”

               “I’d be lying if I said you were.” He agreed. “Let’s go inside, it’s freezing out here.” Ashlyn wanted to hit him but, not in the same sense as earlier. This time, it was a more playful need. For once, she didn’t exactly feel hatred towards Kylo Ren. Instead, she felt a more extreme dislike as they headed back into the base.

 

* * *

 

 

               As the pair headed down towards the maintenance bay, Kylo Ren replaced his mask over his head once the two entered the base. Ashlyn found that curious in a way. She also noticed something else as they walked, she wasn’t getting any warmer and could still see her breath. “Maybe you’re not crazy.” She offered, wrapping her arms around herself. Her three coats still on her body, making her look ridiculous indoors.

               As if on command, Sid rounded the corner. He immediately stopped in his tracks when he noticed Ashlyn was not alone. In fact, she was with the last person he ever expected her with. “Commander.” He said, giving a short, quick nod to the masked man. “I was not expecting your presence down here.”

               “It seems I’m not the only one with a rapidly declining temperature in their apartment.” He responded, the distortion in the mask made his words sound more menacing. Although, to Ashlyn, she simply found it annoying.

               “That’s what I came to tell Ashlyn.” Sid said. “It looks like the heat is out on all floors. Something isn’t working.”

               Kylo Ren retorted. “No kidding.”

Ashlyn gave him a pointed look, something Sid did not let go unnoticed. Any other person to do that, he was certain Commander Ren would have killed them by now. “Do we know where the problem lies?”

               Sid shrugged. “We’re going to have to keep checking—“ And then the lights went off.

“Fantastic.” Kylo Ren’s mask hissed. He could practically feel the agony coming from the 100’s, particularly from General Hux’s office. He snickered to himself.

               Ashlyn grabbed her small flashlight from her toolkit, Sid had done the same. Now the three were standing in the dark hallway barely lit by the miniature lights. “I guess we better get to work.” Ashlyn said to no one in particular before turning to Kylo Ren.

               “Take the generators up on the 100’s; I’ll send everyone to a different generator and we’ll work our way in.” Sid said.

 Ashlyn nodded, pointing the flashlight at the shiny silver and black mask. “Do you need help getting up there?”

               “I suppose I could tag along.” Kylo Ren said. Now Sid was really concerned and interested in how these two were speaking. It was something he’d have to concern himself with later.

 “Keep your data pad and commlink on, I’ll be in touch.” Sid said, turning quickly and heading back down the hallway he came from.

               Ashlyn and Kylo Ren turned and headed for the stairs; which was going to be a very long and cold walk. “Sid is concerned.” Kylo said in passing as they began walking up the stairwell.

              “What do you mean?” Ashlyn asked, the two matching step for step as they headed up.

“He thinks you’re being too reckless in how you speak to me.” Kylo Ren said, his words sounding menacing even though he wasn’t actually angry. “That one of these days I’m going to cut you in half with my lightsaber.”

               Ashlyn scoffed. “You wouldn’t dare after the damage you’ve already done. Also, could you  ** _please_**  stop invading people’s thoughts? That’s a complete and total invasion of privacy.”

               He simpered. “Sid didn’t have to say anything, it was written all over his face.”

“Well, I’m now making it a rule. No mind reading in my presence.” She was adamant over that.

               “And who are you to tell your commanding officer what to do?” He had a point.

“The girl in your nightmares.” She reminded him. “You’ll still have to deal with me even after you close your eyes.”

               Kylo Ren was glaring under his mask. “You know what? Maybe I  ** _should_**  run you through with my lightsaber.”

               “Watch it or you’re walking up the stairs in the dark.” Ash threatened. “Then see how you’ll get to your apartment.”

“You know, I don’t actually need your help. I have my own source of light.” He revealed, pointing to his lightsaber. This caused Ashlyn to scoff and start running up the stairs now, leaving him behind in the dark. The echo of distorted laughter following her up the stairwell as she tried to distance herself further from that jerk, Kylo Ren.

 

 

* * *

 

             Panic erupted throughout the base as temperatures dropped and maintenance had no rhyme or reason as to what caused the sudden outages. The base was in total darkness and what was worse, it was getting dark on StarKiller. Sid had warned everyone that once nightfall came, they’d have to stop working and find some way to keep warm.

             That was when Ashlyn found out most rooms, except for hers and the rest of the original east wing, had a working fireplace. Her apartment had not been fully equipped. Now, too many eager teammates were willing to share their rooms with Ash. She politely, and albeit eagerly, declined. She’d figure out her own way to keep warm. Besides, she wasn’t all too concerned yet about the freezing temperature. What concerned her was the silent generator before her. Something happened and yet, Ashlyn Novafall drew a blank.

             All wiring checked out; power should have been flowing through the system naturally. However, it wasn’t. Something was amiss and Ash couldn’t pinpoint it. Whether it was the distraction of her chattering teeth or the creeping and lingering fear in the back of her mind that someone else was listening. She did wonder if he could sense her agony now.

             That’s right, Kylo Ren, that jerk with the giant apartment and gorgeous fireplace. He was probably sitting in front of it, reading one of the many books in his bookshelf. By the maker, how she envied him in that moment.

             Hours had flown by without a single second glance. The commlinks were constantly going off with a new voice on the end about their sectors. Yet, everyone having the same issue of not knowing where the power grid was failing. The voices began to grow quiet as teammates dropped like flies from the cold until it was only Sid and Ashlyn still working in their appropriate sectors. “Did you try the couplings?” Ash asked, her teeth chattering worse now.

           She was sitting in front of the generator, her legs to her chest and data pad on the floor next to her. She kept staring at the downed engines and downed power grids. She zoomed in and out of different wirings and schematics, hoping that the answer would jump out at her. The base was counting on her and the rest of maintenance to get everything up to working standards. She couldn’t even do that. Ashlyn felt helpless and completely unsure what to do.

           “Ash, we have to call it a night.” Sid said, his teeth chattering as well. “We aren’t going to get anywhere like this. Are you sure you’re okay going to your room?”

Ash shook as she tried to keep her voice calm. “Yeah, I’ll be fine.” She tried to sound as convincing as possible. “Go on to bed, Sid.” The commlink went dead as Sid turned his off.

            She couldn’t sleep now, she couldn’t stop. Ashlyn had an impulse to fix what was broken. A constant need to repair and replace. Her fatal flaw came in that form. Sometimes, things that were broken couldn’t be fixed. She learned that the hard way once. Surely, Ash could have fixed it. She saw it coming. She saw what was coming to  ** _him_**. If she just had more time, if she had just been smarter or faster. She could have fixed it.

            Her mind was racing as she pulled her legs closer to her chest. The cold burning through her as she slowly rolled to her side, curled up in fetal position. The data pad light the only thing illuminating the room as she scrolled through the schematics again and again. She had to find it, she had to find the source. The obsession consuming her; perhaps even killing her as she couldn’t find it in herself to stop.

            Then, Ashlyn felt lighter than air. She was flying. Was it finally sweet death taking over? Was she finally losing it? No, it was much worse. He held her bridal style in his arms as he angrily carried her out of the main 100’s generator and down the hall towards his apartment. She didn’t want to go there, she was needed elsewhere. Kylo Ren didn’t care, he showed that the moment the door closed behind them and he carried Ash to the roaring fireplace.

             Gently, although he simply wanted to drop her for being so stupid, he placed Ash down in front of the fire. She was still curled up and shaking. The fire felt hotter than normal, probably from her freezing cold skin. A warm and comfortable sensation came over her; a blanket was carefully draped over her as Kylo Ren moved to where her head was and sat down next to her. His knees arched, his arms hanging draped over his knees and his coal eyes locking with the roaring fire. “You should have called it a night.” He barked. “What’s the point in freezing to death? You’re useless to the First Order dead.”

               “I have to—“ She shuddered. “Fix it.”

“And you will. I have no doubt you will.” His tone was still angry. “But you aren’t thinking straight. Your head is a clouded mess right now.”

               She tried to joke. “Maybe I should freeze myself more often, you can’t read my thoughts.”

“I’m being serious, Ashlyn.” He said her name. Ash couldn’t even think of a time he had ever said her name in the first place. Then again, Kylo Ren probably did but it held no weight compared to now. “That was foolish of you. You’re smarter than that.”

               Her body was warming up now, she could actually feel her toes again. “That might be the nicest thing you’ve ever said.” He sighed, defeated. She wasn’t getting it. Or rather, she was. Yet, her defense mechanism was to always hide behind humor and sarcasm, it made things easier. Ashlyn forced herself to sit up now, completely wrapped up in a blanket cocoon as she sat next to Kylo Ren in front of the fire. “Sometimes—“ She began, breaking the silence between them. “I need to distract myself and the only way to do it is to lose myself in my work.” She turned, looking at him. “Don’t you ever need to lose yourself? Lose who you are for a moment just to forget the bad stuff?”

               Kylo didn’t look at her. “More than you know.”

“I think that maybe if I just keep myself busy, it won’t catch up to me.” Ash looked back at the fire. “If I just work hard and fix everything I have control over then—“ She began to choke up. With a deep breath, Ashlyn cleared her throat and continued. “I can make amends over the things I couldn’t save.”

               Her wording confused Kylo Ren. What exactly was Ashlyn saving? His mind flashed to the blond haired boy again. The one with the similar blue eyes as Ashlyn. “What happened to him?” He had asked that question before but, this time his tone was gentle. It was genuine; Kylo Ren actually wanted to know without gaining leverage over Ash.

               “I lived in the slums of Coruscant and around 23 ABY we had an outbreak.” Ashlyn began.

Kylo Ren knew what she was talking about, it was huge new throughout the galaxy. He had remembered his mother demanding aid for the people living in Coruscant. A memory he’d force to block out just at the thought of her. “The Brainrot Plague.” He acknowledged. “A biological weapon that was used during the Clone Wars.”

               Ashlyn nodded. “Many thought it was eradicated long ago, however, upon finding a secret separatist base—“ She inhaled deeply. “It was supposed to have been released during the Clone Wars but, that plan failed. It was an accident when it did go off.” She tried to reason. “We thought we were safe, Mother didn’t want to leave no matter how much I begged. I just knew it was going to get us. He was sick within the week, she came down with it days later.”

               “How did you manage to avoid catching it?” Kylo Ren asked finally.

Ashlyn shrugged. “Some said I was lucky to have made it out okay.  **Lucky?**  Lucky to have lived after watching the horror that happened to my family. A horror that I so helplessly stood idly by and watched. Something I could have prevented if I had just tried harder.”

               “Your mother was the one who did not want to leave. There was nothing you could do.”

And deep down, it was eating her alive knowing what she knew. She saw it, she dreamt it. Even though she had seen horrors like this before, her mother was almost certain that they were out of the reach of it. Then it spread. By that time, it had been too late. “Laynor Gal-far was an old acquaintance of my father. He took me in when I had no one. I learned early on that getting caught up in my work helped keep the nightmares away.”

               Her mind kept wandering to that day; it repeated in her mind over and over again like a broken record. Kylo Ren could sense it and her obvious discomfort from it. He quickly stood up and wandered over to the bookcase. He needed to distract her; calm her down. The cloudiness and chaos in her head was driving him crazy. Ashlyn watched him curiously as he skimmed through the shelves before grabbing four books and heading back to his seat. He placed the four books in front of him. “Choose one.”

               Her eyes immediately locked onto the old, tattered brown book. It seemed so out of place and so different from the rest. She reached over and picked it up. “This one?” She asked.

               He exhaled sharply through his nose. “Of course you picked that one.” He mumbled before moving the other candidates out of the way. Ashlyn opened the cover of the book, revealing messy scribbling on the front cover. ‘ _Property of Ben Solo’_. She found it curious. However, she was distracted when he held his hand out for the brown book. Ashlyn handed it to him and watched as Kylo Ren placed the book in front of the both of them and opened it. The book was an encyclopedia on the galaxy. It showed charted systems and pictures of their inhabitants and so many different details about each known planet. “Where do you want to go?” He asked.

               She unwillingly smiled. “Someplace warm.”

He returned the smile and flipped through a few pages until he found Mustafar. “How about here? It’s a volcanic planet; small but, it’s definitely warm.”

               Ashlyn stared at the picture of the red planet, noticing the mention of its very limited inhabitants like the Roggwart and Xandank. Creatures she had never seen in person and probably never would. “Might be too warm for me.” She admitted.

               Kylo flipped the page a few more times until he stumbled upon Tatooine. “How do you like sand?” He asked.

 Ashlyn looked at the sand covered planet in the picture and grimaced. “That might be too much sand.”

               He smirked. “You’re so very hard to please.”

She grinned. “So I’m told.” Ashlyn gently flipped through a few more pages, looking for a planet that seemed perfect to visit someday. Granted, she probably never would. At least, the distraction Kylo Ren had planned was working. Her eyes locked onto a small blue-green planet. The description sounding absolutely beautiful, calm seas and rolling hills. It was a part of the Core Worlds and had nothing too dangerous to hide from. Except for the fact that it was part of the New Republic and a highly political base. “How about here?” She asked.

               Kylo Ren didn’t have to look twice to know exactly where she picked. “Chandrila.” He mumbled. An odd sensation washing over him as he tried to push everything aside. A feeling of home and hatred all wrapped into one as he looked at the familiar planet. “I was born in Hanna City.” He said in passing.

               Ashlyn looked at him with an honest expression of shock. “You were born on the most politically influenced planet?” He said nothing as Ashlyn looked back at the planet book. “What was it like?”

               “I spent my early childhood there.” He admitted. “That’s really about it.” Ashlyn could tell he didn’t want to talk about that part of his life too much. He seemed to pull away; distance himself from it completely. She tried something else. “What’s it like?” She asked.

               “Chandrila?” He asked with disinterest.

“No.” Ash corrected. “Having the Force. What is it like?”

               Kylo Ren was almost relieved that the subject had changed now. “It’s like having an extra sense. You can feel almost everything that isn’t physical. You feel its presence and life force in a way. It’s being connected to everything around you and using that connection to channel energy.”

               “And that’s how you can get into people’s heads?”

He gave her a pointed look. “In so many words, yes. It’s also not that simple and takes years of training to learn how to harness the power of the Force.”

               “Can anyone learn the Force?”

“No.” He said simply. “There are Force users and Force sensitives. The users have a much easier time learning to harness the energies around them. Sensitives are able to learn but it’s not as easy. They can have some tendencies that naturally come with the Force but, not everyone can learn to harness it.”

               Ashlyn’s top teeth raked over her lower lip as she phrased her next question carefully. “How does one find out if they’re sensitive or whatever?”

               “It can happen in a many number of ways.” Kylo Ren said. “Having a Force heavy bloodline helps. Otherwise, little things can give hints and clues. Force users also can help identify another Force sensitive person.” He looked at Ashlyn again. “Sometimes your dreams tell you.”

               Ashlyn rolled her eyes. “I’m not Force sensitive.”

“So you keep saying.”

               “If I were, I’m pretty sure you would have figured that out by now.” Ash said.

Kylo smirked. “Who’s to say I haven’t?”

               Ashlyn went serious now. “I’m pretty sure you would have killed me already.” She wasn’t wrong but, she also wasn’t right. It was more complicated than that. “The First Order doesn’t want any more users around, right?”

               “Like I’ve said before.” He began. “Different circumstances call for exceptions to the rules. I’m sure the First Order wouldn’t mind another user on their side, if push came to shove.”

Ashlyn shook her head. “I don’t think I’d want to be trained in the Force. It sounds way too hard.”

               Kylo snorted. “You need discipline.”

“Luckily for me, I’m not sensitive so none of this matters.” She replied, stretching her legs out in front of her. Ash wiggled around her blanket cocoon, adjusting the blanket more as she brought her legs back in to her chest. “I’m just Ashlyn Novafall, a mechanic who can’t fix the frozen StarKiller base.”

               “Not tonight, at least.” Kylo said patiently. “You should rest, I’m sure you’ll be very busy tomorrow.”

               Disappointedly, Ashlyn nodded. “I suppose so.” Kylo Ren was the first to move, forcing himself to stand up from his comfortable position on the floor. “Commander?” He hummed in reply. “Thanks for—“ She paused. “All this, I guess.”

               Kylo nodded, changing subject. “You can take the bed, if you wish.” He said dismissively.

Ashlyn smiled and shook her head. “Honestly, I’m really happy by the fire.”

               “You’re going to have a headache in the morning.” He informed her.

“I’ll live.” That smile. It was different. It was **_very_** different. Kylo Ren had never seen her smile so sweetly before, a smile that had no malice or contempt behind it. It was as genuine as genuine could be. A smile he was almost certain he’d never see again. “Goodnight, Commander.”

               Turning on his heel, Kylo Ren headed over to the couch of his apartment. Ashlyn had laid down on her side, still curled up on the floor in her blanket cocoon in front of the fire. He’d move her to a more comfortable location when she fell asleep. For now, he’d respect her wishes of sleeping on the floor. It didn’t take long for Ashlyn to fall into a deep sleep, and like he had promised to himself, Kylo Ren moved Ashlyn to his bed. He knew deep down she’d probably freak out in the morning, which would be hilarious to him then. For now, it was more about her comfort. He wandered back over to his couch, plopping down and closing his eyes knowing full well he’d see her soon in his dreams.

 


	8. Hell Freezes Over Part 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> And now Kylo has a new plan...

* * *

 

 

_At first, there was heat. A burning and raging heat that Ashlyn could feel on her face. Then came the smell; burning of oil and rubber. A metallic smell joining soon after; rust. All followed by the smell of a burning carcass._

_The visual came soon after, first blurry then clear as day. She was looking out at the launch bay, a rather large fire burning wildly as panic erupted inside the bay. Maintenance and flight crews working hard to put out the fire on one of the TIE fighters. Inside the fighter, she could only make out the silhouette of a body. Whose body was never determined but, it was someone and it hurt. It gripped at her heart, her chest tightening. Someone was burning alive and Ashlyn could only stand and watch._

 

* * *

 

 

Ashlyn snapped awake, her eyes opening with force as her mind attempted to process where she was. A well-lit apartment, not  _her_  apartment but his. The sun was shining and soon Ash found safety where she was. Well, that was until she realized she was lying on Kylo Ren’s bed. Immediately, Ash sat up straight, looking around the bed. “Son of a—“ she said.

               “You’re awake.” Ashlyn turned her attention to the man in black, the mischievous grin on his lips as he adjusted his glove on his left hand. “How did you sleep?”

               Ashlyn narrowed her eyes. “What happened to letting me sleep by the fire?”

“You would have had a horrible headache.” He reminded her dryly. “We can’t have you be useless to maintenance.”

               Ash pouted slightly, he was right and still she hated it. “I suppose I should get back to it then.”

“When you’re ready.” Kylo said, mindlessly attaching his saber to his belt before looking back at Ashlyn. “It’s curious that we didn’t share a dream last night.” It was more of an observation than anything. He knew what Ashlyn had dreamt, he sensed her distress. It woke him up in fact. It was hard not to take a peek inside her mind. What concerned him the most was what she had dreamt, what exactly had she seen? “Everything okay?” He asked, stepping around full out asking her. Kylo Ren knew she wasn’t stupid, she knew he could have seen what she dreamt.

               She nodded slowly, trying to avoid that conversation all together. “Yeah, everything’s fine.” Ash then frowned. “Except the whole waking up in your bed thing, that’s still weird.”

               He snorted. “Well, you can be among the few who can say that they have.” The look on Ashlyn’s face was a look of pure horror and shock and utter disgust. It was enough to send Kylo Ren into a fit of laughter. Laughter that could only express is pure joy in causing Ashlyn such torment as she quickly jumped out of his bed, nearly falling onto the floor as she did.

               “You’re awful!” She exclaimed.

He was still smiling. “I couldn’t resist. The temptation to make you squirm is so hard to ignore.”

               Her face scrunched up in disapproval. “That was an image I never wanted in my head.”

The mischievous grin never left his face as he quirked an eyebrow. “But you  _did_  think of it.”

               Ashlyn groaned loudly. “Alright, enough of you!” She said, zipping up her coats and storming for the door. “I have work to do.” With that, she stormed out of Kylo Ren’s apartment, leaving him behind shaking his head and still chuckling.

              

 

* * *

              

 

               Ashlyn turned on her commlink and headed back to the 100’s generator. The base was still cold, however, with the sun up at least that took away from some of the bitter chill. “Sid, what’s the status?” She spoke into the commlink, aggravation still in her voice from earlier. At least her anger was keeping her somewhat warm.

               “Hey, she’s alive!” Grim said over the commlink.

“Ash, you had us worried.” Taka added.

               “I told you she would be fine.” Sid interjected, Ashlyn could almost hear the eye roll in his tone. “Ash, do you have your data pad?”

               Ashlyn walked into the generator power room, looking down at the blinking data pad she had left on the floor. “Got it.” She said, picking up the very cold pad and looking down at the schematics Sid had sent her. “What’s this now?” She asked.

               “I think I figured out what we need to do.” Sid said. “We need a big jumpstart to sectors A through F. That should help power up all the generators and get the base running. We just need something big enough to power it.”

               “We don’t have that kind of power right now, Sid.” Taka reminded him dutifully.

Ash thought for a moment before being struck with an idea. “What ships do we have in dock right now?”

               “Multiple freighters, the Upsilon and tons of fighters, why?” Grim answered.

The puzzle was slowly coming together in her mind. “We can hook up to their engines.”

               “Are you crazy? No ship is strong enough for that. We don’t need broken ships too.” Taka exclaimed.

               “What if we hook up multiples then? Keep a steady current of energy going and kick start the system.” Ash explained. “One ship isn’t enough but multiple might be?”

               Sid thought for a moment, he began to calculate how many ships they’d need for the kick start as well as how many components to hook up the ships. It could work, it was a crazy idea but it would work. “No, we can do this. Ash has a point.” Sid explained. “If we can jumpstart the two sectors with multiple ships, we can get them running. It’ll be a long and slow process but we can do it. I’ll go prep the wires, I expect you all down here to setup your sections pronto. Let’s get this base up and running, folks.”

               Everyone acknowledged in understanding, Ashlyn feeling a new sense of purpose as she grabbed her data pad and rushed out of the generator room. This was Ashlyn Novafall, the girl who worked hard to fix anything and everything.

 

* * *

 

 

               Kylo Ren wasn’t stupid, in fact, he was very intuitive and knew when he was right he was indubitably and disgustingly right. It didn’t take even the strongest of Force users to understand what Ashlyn Novafall was, in fact, he had known all along. He could sense it that day in the conference room; the moment Ashlyn saw her young brother and was able to disconnect the mental connection they had.

               Now what bothered Kylo Ren was not the fact that Ashlyn Novafall was in fact sensitive (even though she’d argue that fact until she was blue in the face). No, that wasn’t an issue. The issue here was that he did nothing about it. Even with the information he had, Ren knew he could find a way to prove what Ashlyn was capable of. However, he didn’t **_want_** to. Deep down somewhere in the empty chasm called his ‘conscience’ he had argued with himself over and over again that giving Ash up was the wrong thing to do.

               But, what was the right thing to do? Could he train her; help enhance her Force sensitivity? He had never had an apprentice before, it would be interesting and also the most infuriating thing too training Ashlyn. Yet, with another Force user he could ultimately be one of the most powerful users with the help of his apprentice. In turn, they could answer to no one and quite possibly take down Snoke. They could run the First Order how they saw fit and finally Kylo Ren could finish what his Grandfather had started so long ago.

               That still left the problem with Supreme Leader Snoke. Could he secretly train Ash on his own or would he need the blessing of his Master? If he told Snoke about Ashlyn, would he expect her execution by morning? An original concept he was almost too willing to be a part of once. Now, he wasn’t too sure.

               Ashlyn would ultimately be the pawn in Kylo Ren’s game, either way, her death wasn’t too much of consequence. However, the temptation of using her for his own personal gain was a little too strong for his liking. If he could just find a way to convince Snoke and not have to hide Ashlyn, that would be so much easier. He just needed to think of a way to do so. Kylo also knew he needed to convince Ashlyn as well, which suddenly felt like the harder task. Damn that stubborn girl.

               He couldn’t waste his time thinking about the ‘what if’s’ right now, he had a much bigger problem lying in front of him. The map to Luke Skywalker. They had managed to hack into the archives only to find an incomplete map to Luke Skywalker. As far as he knew, the Resistance didn’t have that little piece of information either. Skywalker didn’t want to be found so easily. It was only a matter of time before the Resistance caught on to his plan; he needed to hurry. He also needed Captain Phasma, as much as it pained him to ask either Phasma or Hux for assistance. Ren needed the artillery. He also hated the annoyances that came with doing things on his own and dealing with the repercussions of an angry General Hux for keeping him in the dark. Somethings just weren’t worth the headache.

               Speaking of headaches, there was a knock on Kylo Ren’s apartment door. Begrudgingly, he stormed over to the door and opened it to see a very bundled up Hux. “The base is freezing and you still want to have a meeting?” Ren asked incredulously.

               Hux scoffed. “Yes and no. May I come in?” Kylo Ren rolled his eyes and moved away from the door to allow General Hux inside. The door closed behind him and Hux immediately made himself at home, to Kylo Ren’s dismay. Hux sat on the couch and unbuttoned his long coat. That was when Kylo Ren knew Hux planned on staying longer than he would have liked. “I’ve come to talk about the future of StarKiller.”

               Kylo folded his arms over his chest stubbornly. “Again, this couldn’t have waited until maintenance fixed the power?”

               “That’s what I want to talk about.” Hux said, taking out his data pad and showing the projection of StarKiller. “It’s safe to admit this plan has taken longer than anticipated. However, I think we are on the right path to bring StarKiller to its full potential.” Hux zoomed in on the middle of StarKiller where the reactor lied.

               Ren looked at him curiously. “You think the weapon is still possible?”

Hux grinned. “I _know_ it is.” Kylo Ren said nothing as he continued to stare at the blueprint Hux had on display. “This is where I need your assistance.” Kylo Ren frowned. “I believe this is possible because of our new star mechanic. However, you know as well as I do that she is not here as a permanent member of StarKiller. Her contract is up within five months, assuming you don’t scare her off first.”

               “And you think I can help because…?”

“You’ve gotten Ms. Novafall to stay before, I have faith you can do it again.” Hux explained.

               Kylo Ren had nearly forgotten about Ash’s contract. Even if he was able to want to be trained, she was only here temporarily. That cause a few problems in itself but then, Kylo Ren had another idea. Another way to turn this situation to his advantage. “On one condition—“ He began, slightly throwing Hux off guard. “I’ve come to the conclusion that she is Force sensitive.”

               Hux lost all faith in that moment as he exhaled deeply. “You know what that means, right?”

“There is another way.” Ren explained. “I need to convince Supreme Leader to allow me to train her the ways of the Force. It’s the only way to keep Ashlyn alive and have her stay to work on your weapon.”

               Hux frowned. “But then there would be two of you.”

Kylo shrugged. “Fine, then have her killed, it’s no difference to me if she lives or dies. However, who will work on your base then?” He was manipulative, clever and ultimately going to win this small argument.

               Hux’s lips formed into a straight line as he thought his options through. It took them that long to find Ashlyn in the first place, no doubt it would take much longer if they had her killed. He sighed in defeat. “You will have my assistance. However, this does not mean you get to teach Ashlyn anything to hurt me if you gain Snoke’s approval.”

               Kylo grinned mischievously. “I never make promises I don’t intend to keep.” Hux groaned knowing this was going to be the worst idea having two Force users around base. At least his weapon would finally become a reality.

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

               Ashlyn ran back up to the 100’s generator; jumper cables tangled up in her arms and trailing behind her as she ran as quickly as possible. The first generator on the bottom floor was their test subject, the plan worked! Now they had to use that energy plus the energy from the newly running generator to boost the others. She had a feeling (a good feeling) that this was going to work. She didn’t know why or how but, she just knew.

               Running into the generator room on the 100’s, she nearly tripped and fell over the long cords she was carrying in her arms. She carefully placed them on the ground and began to work. Opening compartment after compartment, she found the two main power grids that she would have to power in order to get things running smoothly. _Bingo!_ She thought as she ran back to the cables and dragged them over to the compartments. “Alright, guys.” She said into her commlink. “I’m about to attach, what’s your status?”

               “Ready.” Taka said.

“Ready!” Grim said excitedly.

               The twins responded in unison. “All set.”

“Okay, everyone.” Sid said over the commlink. “Attach the cables, I’m boosting the engines now.”

               The maintenance team did just that, attaching their cables just as power began to surge into the power compartments of each reactor. Slowly, the generators began to hum. A quick spark came from Ashlyn’s right as she turned to look at the generator before her. “Come on…” She muttered, as if staring at it would will the piece of machinery back to life. “One more spark…” She pleaded.

               Ashlyn got her wish, another spark and the hum grew louder and louder. The generator powered on along with the lights of StarKiller. “Yes!” She heard someone cheer through the commlink.

               “Sectors A through F are up and running!” Sid exclaimed as he watched on his data pad the spikes in response from the reaction. “Nice work, team!”

               Ashlyn laughed, pure joy expressed on her face as she watched the generator buzz and hum. It was overwhelming for her, the feeling of fixing something under her control. Her joy slowly dissipating as she remembered then her dream. The ship that had exploded, she was still unsure why or how it had happened and now she was worried. “Sid are you still on the ships?” She asked into her commlink.

               “Just exited the freighter—“ He said, Ash sighed with slight relief. “I’ll be unplugging everything shortly, just keep your generator on.”

               “Be careful.” Ash warned him.

“Always am.” He said cheekily before returning back to his task.

               Ashlyn looked back at the generator, a small smile returning. A sense of purpose returning to her as she collected the jumper cables and began to walk back to maintenance. She had to collect a ton of cables along with the rest of her crew, hoping no one would trip on her way back. This called for a celebration and maintenance was ready to party.

 

* * *

 

 

               Ashlyn was the last to return to the maintenance bay, the crew was already cheering and drinking their Gamorrean beer. The moment Ash walked into the room, the cheering grew louder as Sid walked over to Ash. He patted her on the back. “Everyone, I want to toast to our whiz kid. Without her, we would probably still be stumbling around in the dark tonight!” Sid exclaimed as he handed her a beer.

               The room raised their glasses, cheering along as Ash shook her head. “Please, Sid figured it out. I just made a suggestion. We all did the work.” She said.

               “Take the compliment, Ash.” Taka said with a grin. “You don’t get to be praised this much a lot around here.” The group laughed as they continued to celebrate the accomplishment of the day; play Sabacc and drinking their beer.

               Sid however, stayed quietly back as he observed his team. He smiled a few times at their rowdy behavior. Ash didn’t let that go as she stood with him. “You’re supposed to be partying.” She explained.

               He grinned. “I know. Sometimes I just like to take a step back and take it all in, you know?” He said. “They’re a great group of guys, a little slow. They’re not fast thinkers like you or me but, they get the job done.”

               Ashlyn looked at the group and smiled. “Yeah, they’re great.”

“Hopefully the rest will be smooth sailing for your last five months here.” Sid said, a slight hint of sadness in his voice. Ash said nothing as she sipped her beer. “You know you can stay, right?”

               “I know.” She admitted. “I just don’t know if this is where I belong.”

“Well, you fit in just fine with us.” Sid said. “Just know you have a place if you want it.”

               Ash nodded. “Thanks, Sid.” She put her beer down. “Hey, I’m going to get some air. I’ll be back.” Sid hummed in reply as Ashlyn snuck out of the celebration on maintenance and headed back up to the 100’s.

 

* * *

 

 

               She sat on the floor of the generator up on the 100’s, watching the soft glow from the power surging. Her mind was racing a mile a minute as she debated the concept of staying longer or just leaving. She had owed this base nothing, in fact, they owed her at the end of the day. Yet, she felt a little bad leaving. Was it Sid and the gang or something else? Then again, it didn’t matter now. That was five months away, she still had work to do on the base. She also had an annoying Commander to avoid for five months.

               Then again, did she want to ignore him? The previous night was the first time she had seen some form of compassion from him. Not that she wanted any sort of compassion from him. She’d rather be left alone and not run into him every again.

               Kylo Ren annoyed her, he gave her this awful feeling in the back of her mind. Yet, lately she found herself tolerating that annoyance just enough to get something out of their banter. Whatever the heck that something was. What did either one have to gain from their constant feuding? How long would that sort-of thing last anyway? He was the Commander, surely he’d eventually get tired of being challenged and launch her into space. Oh if only, she thought.

               Inhaling deeply, Ash decided it as best to let things sit for now, she didn’t need to make any rash decisions or think about consequences just yet. She stood up and brushed off her pants before taking one last look at the working reactor before heading out of the generator room. As she did, she noticed down the hallway the two official’s coming towards her. General Hux and Commander Ren (surprisingly without his helmet) had just come from somewhere Ashlyn had not ventured to just yet. To be frank, most of the 100’s she still hadn’t seen past Kylo Ren’s room. Then again, that couldn’t be counted either. She was carried to his room.

               Ashlyn stood there as the two men came closer, Hux giving her a dazzling smile as he nodded. “Ms. Novafall.” He said in passing.

               “General.” Ash nodded, looking to Kylo. “Commander.” What made her uneasy was the look on Kylo Ren’s face. A sly smirk and an expression that made it seem like he had won something he shouldn’t have. The way he looked at her made her very uncomfortable and honestly frightened. He had a secret; a secret that Ashlyn didn’t realize in that moment she’d give anything to never hear.

                

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! Remember to Comment and/or leave Kudos!


	9. Monster

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> And then the monster began to appear...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey all! Happy Friday! This is where I leave you for the weekend! Leave me some comments or kudos to come back to?

* * *

 

The generators were up and running smoothly, the base had power (and thankfully, heat) for over three weeks with no end in sight. Which was fortunate for the maintenance team because they were now given a rather large assignment down in the main power grid in the core reactor. This was in a different part of StarKiller, another building far from the main areas. Ashlyn was somewhat grateful to be so far away from the main base. It was quiet and less nerve wracking when being around the guys. She also found time in teaching a few tricks she had learned over the years which the team greatly appreciated.

               Sid, however, had been disappearing more and more into meetings with General Hux. This worried Ashlyn at first. Yet, Sid left her in charge which was ultimately a distraction to keep her from asking too many questions about the meetings. They were making progress and Ashlyn couldn’t be happier of her team.

               The current agenda was to begin preparations for some new mechanical device that would go in the center of a fishbowl shaped solar panel. From Ash understood, it harnessed energy from nearby suns which quite possibly could help maintain and stabilize the energy used on the base. Smart idea in her mind. A more viable energy source to prevent last month’s fiasco from ever happening again. That’s right, her time here was slowly coming to an end. Another month down, Ashlyn only had four more to go then she was home free. Although, she was beginning to lose excitement over that.

               Ashlyn’s dreams were still odd, every so often she’d find herself in the nothingness space she shared with Kylo Ren. Usually in those dreams they’d mess with each other by conjuring weird beasts or they’d end up talking about the Force and all its possibilities. Ashlyn not really grasping why Ren was so keen on explaining the Force to her. She didn’t care either, at least he left her alone.

               Her other dreams however, were a horrid sight. The burning TIE fighter with the mystery silhouette inside still haunted her. She was almost afraid to head to the launch bay, hoping that awful vision wouldn’t ever happen. She could only hope.

 

 

* * *

 

 

               Sid eyed the schematics of their new project carefully as he sat in the conference room with General Hux, Lieutenant Mitaka and a few other high ups that were in charge of overseeing all war plans. Hux had seemed very pleased with himself as he watched Sid examine the newest addition. “Is it possible?” Hux asked.

               Sid pursed his lips, unsure how to answer. Sure, it was possible. However, no one actually stopped and asked if they  ** _should_**. That was a bigger problem in itself. As the new head of maintenance, Sid had no idea the extent of what StarKiller was supposed to be. That was something his old boss had known, something he didn’t really need to know. Sid still wished that were the case. The concept of a mass super weapon looming on his conscience was not going to bode well for a good night’s rest. “You want this—“ He tried to form coherent sentences. “Weapon to be able to harness nearby suns?” He received a nod in reply. “You are aware that magnitude of power is—“

               “I’m sure it might be an overload, I trust your men can handle building something stable enough to do it.”

               “That’s not the theory in question here.” Sid explained. “This weapon could do disastrous things.” He looked at General Hux, noticing the lack of surprise in his expression. That’s when Sid realized exactly what was going on. “You’re already aware.”

               Hux reclined in his chair, looking to the board of silent militants and their obvious decisions already made for them. “Let me explain something, Sid. I know it’s tough being outside and away from the battle. You tend to miss the little details that could change ones opinions so drastically. I’m sure it’s also a blessing all the same.” He began. “This war we are engaging in, there is no black and white, good verse evil. Both sides have their pros and cons. I trust the New Republic to take the same drastic measures if not more-so seeing how we’ve reached the reputation for mass super weapons in the past. This is war.” He reiterated. “You either pick a side to assist or stay out of the way.”

               Sid nodded. “As long as you’re aware of what you’re building.” He had no quarrel with the General, or any of the men in the room. He knew what he signed up for, he just didn’t know the magnitude.

               “How is Ashlyn doing?” Hux asked.

Sid didn’t really care for the tone Hux was taking, or the fact that he had asked about Ashlyn at all. Sid had grown very protective of her, quite possibly from being one of the only females among a mostly male dominated base. “She’s doing fine.” He replied curtly. “She’s making great progress for us.”

               Hux nodded, shifting in his seat. “I was hoping that we could make her a more permanent resident of StarKiller. We could use someone of her caliber.”

               “I was hoping the same.” Now, Sid wasn’t so sure. “I’ll see what I can do.”

“Please do.” Hux smiled warmly, his attempt to lower Sid’s guard. “Now, let’s focus on this section right here.” Hux said, changing the subject back to the weapon as he pointed at a certain area of the schematics. Sid stayed quiet for most of the meeting then. He tried to focus on the bigger picture and not the millions whose lives were threatened just at the existence of this base.

 

 

* * *

 

 

               Ashlyn oversaw most of the construction of the solar plates when the maintenance crew were hard at work. She also allowed them quick breaks which, they took graciously. It was a lot of work and they needed the quick breather moments. Taka wandered over to Ashlyn, standing next to her and nudging her arm with his. She smiled in reply as Taka spoke. “I think we’re getting somewhere with this thing.”

               “I think so too.” She agreed.

“I wonder if Sid will actually get a chance to work on it and not go into meetings.” Taka asked. “Speaking of which, is he still in there?”

               Ash shrugged. “Who knows? Be happy it’s not you in those meetings.”

Taka laughed. “Very true. I’m sure he’ll be all too relieved once we finish this project.” Ash laughed in reply as the two stood there continuing to watch the other teammates relax. That was until Taka noticed a figure standing in the far doorway. “Oh… crap.” He muttered.

               Ashlyn noticed Taka stiffen, along with the maintenance team. They quickly stood and cleared room for the much feared Commander as he walked further into the grid room. Ash rolled her eyes, knowing he found it all too amusing when he caused such a reaction. He’d never get that reaction from her. Taka immediately found himself moving further away from Ashlyn as Kylo Ren walked with purpose towards her.

               As he closed the gap between them, Ash took note that her entire team were practically hiding on the opposite side of the room now. Ash folded her arms over her chest as the masked Commander stood unwarrantedly close. “Ms. Novafall.” He said. Gosh, she hated that distortion.

               “Commander?” She replied. “What brings you all the way over here?”

“I need to speak with you privately.” He said, looking towards the slightly cowering maintenance team. “If you’ll please join me.”

               Ash shook her head. “Stop scaring them.”

Even with the distortion she could hear the smirk in his tone. “I’m not.”

               “Well, I have a lot of work to do and Sid’s not back yet. I really can’t leave.” She tried to argue.

“I think your team will be fine alone for a few moments.” Kylo Ren insisted. “It’s important, I promise it’s nothing trivial.”

               Ash narrowed her eyes. “Anything with you is trivial.”

“Fine.” He said as lightly as his mask would allow. “Then I will wait here until you’re done.”

               Ash groaned knowing full well having Kylo Ren watching over her team would make for less productivity than if she weren’t there at all. “You’re the worst.”

               “I know.”

Ash looked passed Kylo Ren and to her team. “Keep working on the plates, guys. I’ll be right back.” She said, her voice full of promise as she glared at Ren again. “Well, let’s hurry this up.”

               Kylo Ren turned on his heels and began walking to the exit, Ash had to step a little quicker just to keep up with his strides. Curse his long legs and her significantly shorter ones.

              

               Ashlyn caught up to Kylo Ren and the two walked side by side in silence as they headed to somewhere. Where that was, Ashlyn wasn’t sure and it was beginning to make her nervous. “So what’s this about?” She asked impatiently.

               “You have not seen me in three weeks; I don’t get a ‘hello, how are you?’” He feigned feeling any sort of hurt feelings; he didn’t really care.

“Seeing you in my dreams doesn’t count?” She countered.

                He turned his head slightly in her direction. “You also don’t ask how I am there, either.”

This caused Ashlyn to laugh at how utterly ridiculous this conversation had become. “Fine, I’ll ask how you are more often. In the meantime, what is this about?” She asked as the two entered an area Ashlyn had never seen before. On their way towards the main building, they had taken another turn and down the barracks area. This is where most of the Troopers would spend their time training, where their weapons were located and of course where Captain Phasma resided normally. Kylo Ren led Ash through another door leading into what looked like a training area for combat. On the far wall held sparring staffs and other devices for training. There were also weights and exercise equipment. Ashlyn stared, dumbfounded. “Okay, I give up. I don’t get it.”

               Kylo Ren undid the clasps under his helmet, the release giving a slight his as he removed the helmet altogether before setting it down on a nearby mat. He looked at Ash, giving her a sly grin before holding his hands up defensively. “I need you to not get mad or panicky.”

              Ash frowned. “When you start a sentence with that, it’s hard not to.”

His smirk widened. “I know you don’t want to admit it and you don’t want to even think about it but, whether you like it or not—“ He said. “You are sensitive to the Force.”

               Ash groaned, throwing her hands up in defeat. “Will you get off that whole _Force Sensitive_ crap? I’m not!”

Ren rolled his eyes. “You are. It’s very faint but, it’s there.” Before Ash could interrupt with more reasons why that wasn’t true, Kylo Ren continued. “The dreams you have? I’m not even talking about the ones where you invade my dreams. The fire in the launch bay?”

              Ash’s expression immediately dropped. “It’s just a dream—“ She said, stumbling over her own words. “It’s not like it’s going to happen.”    

He looked at her knowingly. “Yet, you seem to be aware that your dreams might become a reality. Why is that, unless it’s happened before?”

              Panic took over now as Ashlyn rocked nervously on her heels. “Why did you bring me here? Is this the part where you expose me for something I’m not and have me killed?”

Kylo Ren looked pleased with himself as he clasped his hands behind his back and began walking away from her. “I never said I’d have you killed.”

              “You didn’t have to, it’s an obvious solution to the problem you think you have on your hands.”

He nodded. “I don’t think we’re going to have a problem on our hands.”

               Ash asked cautiously. “We’re not?”

Kylo Ren stopped walking and stood in front of the sparring staffs. He looked at them for a moment before taking one and holding it in his hands. He turned back to face Ashlyn as he effortlessly twirled the staff in his hands. “I don’t believe we will. Assuming you do exactly as I say, of course.”

               Ash glared. “Are you blackmailing me or something?”

He scoffed. “That would imply that no one knows of your potential.”

               The realization immediately and horrifically set in. “Who did you tell?”

Kylo Ren continued to twirl the staff. “Oh, no one too important. Just General Hux and the Supreme Leader.” Ash wanted to curl up and die. Then again, she was probably going to, based on what was happening. “They think it’s a good idea?”

               “What’s a good idea?” She asked, annoyance and impatience in her tone. If he was going to kill her, just get it over with already.

“That you become my apprentice and I train you in the Force; see what your actual potential really is.”

               “Hell no!” She practically screeched, causing Kylo Ren to stop twirling the staff as he looked at her in somewhat shock. “I don’t want to be trained in something I have no care for or, more likely, have no actual business being a part of!”

               Kylo narrowed his eyes then. “It’s either you let me train you or they’ll have you killed. Those are your options.”

               Ash swallowed hard. “You’re a monster.” She meant that from every fiber in her being. This was her ultimatum, be trained by a man she was pretty sure she hated in something she didn’t believe she was even a part of… or die. That was it. “What happens if I’m not sensitive like you believe me to be?”

               He shrugged, brushing off the radiating hatred coming from the girl on the other side of the room. “Assuming I’m wrong, which I hardly am ever wrong. Then I’ll leave you alone.”

               An ugly sense of defeat washed over her. “I’m leaving in four months.” She said softly.

The corner of his lips curled up slightly. “We’ll see.” He watched as her shoulders deflated. “It’s not as bad as you think, Ashlyn.” There he goes, using her name again. “This could be good for you.”

               “How?”

“You can finally unlock your full potential and perhaps even control yourself from dream hopping.” He offered. “And who knows, maybe you’ll become so powerful you’ll rival me.”

               Ash sighed. “How are we supposed to train, I’m currently in the middle of a rather large project here?”

“We’ll make time. You’ll spend mornings and afternoons working on the base and evenings with me.”

               Ash shook her head. “I have to ask Sid first.”

Kylo Ren scoffed at the amount of excuses this girl had. “He’s already been informed.”

               She glared again, sarcasm dripping from every word. “Of course he has.” After attempting everything she could to get out of it, Ashlyn regretfully gave in. “When do we start?”

“Tomorrow night, after you have dinner report back here.” He said, Ashlyn silently agreed as she headed for the door. “And I promise you, I won’t go easy.”

               “I didn’t expect you to.” She said. Without another word Ashlyn left the training room and headed back to where her crew was. At least she’d find some comfort with them, granted, she’d tell them nothing about the events from that afternoon.

 

 

* * *

 

 

               It didn’t take long before Sid had returned from his daily meeting and pulled Ashlyn into his office. He sat at his desk and looked at her apologetically. “So a Force user?”

 Ash groaned, rolling her eyes. “I’m not a user, apparently I’m sensitive to it. Or at least that’s what Commander Ren thinks.”

               “He seems pretty convinced.” Sid agreed. “I’m sorry, their minds were already made up when they came to me.”

               Ash narrowed her eyes. “A little warning would have been nice.”

“What would that have done, Ash? You wouldn’t be able to hide from him.” Sid said. “Maybe this is some sort of destiny thing. Don’t Force users believe in all that anyway?”

               “Probably.” Ash agreed. “But being required to do this isn’t exactly their best plan.”

Sid scoffed. “Does it look like they have coherent plans? I mean, look at this place. It barely functions as is.”

               Ash couldn’t help but smile. “Hopefully the new solar panels will help with retrieving energy.”

Sid immediately ignored that conversation; that was something he wouldn’t touch with a ten foot pole. Last thing Ash needed to know after today was that what she was actually building was a weapon of mass destruction. “Are you going to be Force choking people soon?” He said jokingly.

               “Perhaps Commander Ren. Though I might actually attack and strangle him soon.” Sid chuckled in response. “I really don’t have a choice here, do I?”

               “Afraid not, Ash.” He said. “Try and make the best of it, it’s only four months.”

“He’ll find a way to make it longer. I swear he’s out to ruin my life.”

               “Then why not ruin his back?” Sid suggested, which seemed like an all too amazing idea if Ash could figure out a way to pull it off. “Listen, I’ll help you out as best I can. You know I have you back.”

               She smiled sincerely. “Thanks, Sid.”

“Let’s go get some food and maybe we can get the guys to agree to have another Sabacc game.” Sid said, gosh did these guys love their card games. She smiled brighter now as the two left Sid’ office and headed to the cafeteria.

               Things were going to change for Ashlyn Novafall. In the short span of time she was allotted at StarKiller, things were about to shift in ways Ash could have never prepared for. She just didn’t know how drastic that would be.

 

 


	10. Training Day

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> And we train!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am SO sorry for the delay. It's been a hectic 2 weeks! Please enjoy a somewhat long chapter as an "I'm Sorry" and remember to leave comments and kudos! Okay bye!

* * *

 

 

_She didn’t want to be here. This was the last place she wanted to end up after the day she had. Hell, she’d rather the fiery launch bay dream over this. This place wasn’t safe anymore, this place had **him** stalking about. Ashlyn needed to rebuild her brick house and hide in it. It was the only way to potentially escape what was waiting for her. So she began to build. Her mind chaotic and unfocused, every attempt at building would crumble effortlessly. In frustration, Ash collapsed to her knees as defeat washed over her, and stared down at the nothingness below her._

_He watched from a distance, biding his time before finally giving in and walking over to her. He knew she didn’t want him there yet, he felt like he had to be. Kylo Ren sat down next to Ashlyn, she didn’t look at him and he didn’t care. “I found out I had the Force when I was three. Well, my parents found out. They had a feeling it would happen but, when I was levitating things I wanted to my crib—“ He let out an airy chuckle. “I don’t think they were ready for that.” For a brief moment, Ashlyn felt some sort of comfort hearing his story. His attempt to level with her and find some human and common ground was working… barely._

_“I don’t want to learn.” Ash admitted honestly. “I was okay being simply Ashlyn Novafall with nothing special about her except being able to fix almost anything.”_

_“And invade people’s dreams and possibly predict the future.” He added, dryly. “I’m only doing this to help. It’s scary not understanding why things are happening or how you’re able to the things you can do. At least if you learn, you can control it and not the other way around.” He ran his hand through his hair as he exhaled deeply through his nostrils. “Besides, you can still be boring Ashlyn Novafall, just with a hint of something more.”_

_Ash shifted, moving so she was now sitting on her behind and no longer on her legs. “I’d like to believe you’re doing this to help me but—“ She paused. “You’re such a dick about it.”_

_He let out a hearty laugh, which in turn forced Ashlyn to smile. “How about this, if this doesn’t help you be in control of the Force then once your six months ends, I won’t bring it up again. I’ll let you leave without anything to say against it.”_

_Her nose scrunched at the idea. “I’m going home at the end of this six months.”_

_“And if you are progressing and learning something, I expect you to stay longer.”_

_Ash sighed, that feeling of defeat once again forming in the pit of her stomach as she looked around the dark, emptiness of the dream. “You can’t have nicer dreams? Like maybe dream up a couch or a plant even? **Something**?”_

_“This is my dream. I don’t need your criticisms of it.” He said somewhat teasingly before losing all smugness and sighing. “What can I do to make you not so angry with me?” He asked, his tone a mix of dryness and sincerity that confused Ash. In truth, he really didn’t need bad blood between them. It would make things harder in the long run for his plan. If Ashlyn hated him too much and became a Force user, then she’d be more difficult to control when taking down Snoke. As insufferable as she was, he unfortunately needed her cooperation._

_“You should have asked me first about all this.” She said. “Give me my own choice.”_

_“You would have said ‘no’.”_

_Ash scoffed. “You’re damn right I would have.”_

_Kylo Ren rolled his eyes. “I need to know you’re going to try and that you’re not just going to deny all of my training. You need to actually participate.”_

_She looked at him now, holding her hand out. “Only if you promise not to force me into anything anymore.”_

_“I promise.” He said, taking her hand in his as the two shook on it. “I’ll only go behind your back if I know it’s going to be good for you and you won’t understand at first.”_

_Ash groaned. “That’s not how this truce works!” He grinned evilly in reply._

_“It is when I’m looking out for your best interest.”_

_“Which no one asked you to.” She retorted. “You owe me no such courtesy.”_

_He nudged her shoulder. “Can’t I just be nice?”_

_“You’re not a nice person.”_

_He chuckled. “You’re right, I’m not.” The two were silent for a while, sitting in the middle of nothingness before Kylo Ren spoke again. “I hope we wake up soon. I’m ready to put an end to these little meetings.”_

_Ashlyn smiled sadly, unsure why his words had that reaction with her. She stretched before lying back and staring up at the darkness. “In a few more minutes.” She said, realizing even though she hated meeting him here, this was the last few moments she’d have of peace before having to delve into Force training. “I’d like to stay just a little longer.” He looked back at her, his own sad smile forming on his lips before he finally joined her on the ground. The two lying there peacefully as their stared up at the black sky, saying nothing to each other as they waited out the dream until they both woke up._

* * *

 

 

           As promised, Ash would spend the mornings and afternoons working on the newest addition for StarKiller. Surprisingly, the other end of the bargain had also been kept. Sid was back working with his team, to everyone’s relief, and gave more insight to their next steps on the new reactor. Granted, the insight still left out some hefty details regarding the actual purpose of StarKiller. Yet, ignorance is truly bliss in the terms of warfare.

            Their main goal of the day was to hook up the new solar panels to the reactor. The idea to bring power to their new energy creating machine. Sid was hesitant to show the schematics at first, knowing they really held more vagueness than truth within them. Yet, he was also afraid his team was too smart for that. Luckily, the one he was worried about most was distracted with her latest predicament on StarKiller.

            In fact, Ashlyn was practically useless that day. Her mind wandering in every direction but the task in front of her. By the stars, she hated this. She hated not knowing what was awaiting her later. Perhaps once it was over with, she’d be more relaxed later on. For now, she’d panic in her own headspace regardless of who was listening in. Which, he indubitably was.

            And like he promised, Kylo Ren left Ashlyn alone during the day. Granted, her consistent panicking that he could not only feel but also _hear_ was driving him insane. As much as he wanted to interrupt the thoughts that were broadcasting into his headspace, he knew Ash would be even worse if he did. He’d put up with it, for now. Regardless of how big his headache was going to be later. She’d obviously pay by how hard he’d make her work anyway. A suffering he’d relish in and also hate depending on how much she’d complain about it.

            Okay, he didn’t despise her. In fact, any other possible apprentice that was currently residing on StarKiller would have been a worse choice. At least he somewhat enjoyed Ashlyn’s company. Even if that enjoyment came out of her torture. There was something about her that Kylo Ren couldn’t put his finger on. Whether it was the way her pale cheeks would so easily find a bright shade of pink whenever she was angry or embarrassed. Or when she’d smile deviously or with no mal-intent at all. Her little nervous quirks that he’d normally find repulsive (or frankly annoying) for anyone else, he was used to with her.

            It was there in that revelation he had trouble thinking of anything other than home. Not StarKiller. A different home, a home he had left so long ago. Not so much in the place but, the people or rather person, whom resided there. He cherished her deeply on a different level and above all else. A draw to the light whenever he thought about her. Well, people did say he reminded them of her above all else. Then again, it made sense, being the child of someone like that was hard to escape.

            Ashlyn reminded him of **her**. In her stubbornness; her need to be right and her overall presence when entering a room. He had heard so many stories of the younger years and how Leia Organa could make a room stand still. She was a strong and brave woman, something he wanted to hate so much. He could easily hate the **_smuggler_**. Why couldn’t he hate her just as easily? He figured it didn’t help having someone on base that was just as much of a nuisance as her. Grimacing slightly, he suddenly wished he had killed Ashlyn. If only just to escape that pull to the light for a little while longer.

            With a slight reluctance, Ren dismissed the thought of killing Ashlyn and remembered the ultimate end-goal. Snoke. He needed to be free of those chains and take control of his own destiny. He would no longer have to answer to anyone and he could do that with an apprentice. Unfortunately, that apprentice was even more-so reluctant than he was.

* * *

 

 

            General Hux locked his knees, forcing his body to stand as straight and unmoving as possible. He could never show fear, especially in front of the Supreme Leader. However (and as much as he didn’t want to admit that), he at least felt a little easier when Kylo Ren was there. At least it was someone else to get yelled at with.

            That’s what he thought was happening when Supreme Leader requested his presence in the cavern. Uneasily, he made his way into the cavern and stood before the hologram. The base wasn’t finished but, they were making progress. However, progress meant nothing to Snoke if there were no results to show for it. Hux believed there to be none and expected a swift and immediate execution.

Yet, all that changed when an even more devious request fell before him. “General.” Snoke’s raspy yet commanding voice said. “Commander Ren had requested the training of one of the mechanics on base.”

Hux nodded. “Correct.”

Snoke pursed his lips. “How very interesting that Kylo Ren wishes to take an apprentice even when his training is not fully completed.” Hux wasn’t catching on. “I find that curious, do you not?”

Hux kept his eyes locked on the hologram. “How do you mean, Supreme Leader?”

“Kylo Ren is impulsive, at times.” Snoke clarified. “I want to know what he plans to do with the new apprentice.” Hux began to realize what his purpose in today’s solo meeting was. “Report to me any strange happenings with the new apprentice. I want to know how she progresses; what Ren is teaching her.” He explained. “Prove to me where your loyalty lies.”

            “You believe Commander Ren to commit treason?”

Snoke grinned, his canines barred meaning to intimidate. “I believe Commander Ren will become more powerful than any of us imagined. I am curious to see how his training will unfold. I am also curious to see how this apprentice will fit in.” He said. “If anything is suspicious in any way, I expect you to end it quickly.”

            He didn’t need to be told twice, and as much as he didn’t want to be put in charge of the lives of neither Kylo Ren nor Ashlyn Novafall; Hux knew his choices were more than limited here. With a curt nod, Hux was excused from the caverns with a new hefty mission weighting on his shoulders.

* * *

  


            Clearing sweat from her forehead, Ashlyn squinted slightly as she tried to attach the two components from the solar panel to the mainframe. It was a typically easy job for her to do, just time consuming. She was on her third component, attaching it and cleaning up the wiring job. She ignored the hustle and bustle around her with the remaining maintenance members. They were slowly clearing out and heading for dinner, Ash tried her best to ignore that little fact. Perhaps if she played ignorance, she wouldn’t have to stop working and eventually train with Kylo Ren.

            The thought made her shudder. Surely, he had her best interest in mind. He had said so. Then again, how much did she actually trust his word? She didn’t and didn’t feel any better about the situation.

            Yet, maybe he really was onto something. The weird occurrences from her childhood, the dreams. Maybe there really was more to it. Or quite possibly he finally had gotten to her and making her _think_ there was something more. That had to be it, right? There was no way Kylo Ren, the same jerk that nearly strangled her to death, was looking out for her best interest. There was just simply no way.

            But then that doubt came creeping back into the back of her mind again. Maybe it was time to give Kylo Ren the benefit of the doubt. This could very well be good for her in the long run and perhaps Kylo Ren really did mean well.

What would Laynor think of all this? He told her to lay low and she was doing practically the exact opposite of that. He had always believed what Ashlyn could do was more of a problem than a good thing. Granted, they had no idea exactly what it was that Ashlyn could actually do. Surely, she had some very unique dreams and yes, they did seem to predict some sort-of impending future. Yet, what did it mean? Laynor believed it was better to ignore it and never speak of it again. And that worked for so many years. Then again, this was before Ashlyn found herself at the mercy of Kylo Ren.

Perhaps it was destiny that brought her here. Commander Ren had mentioned it before,even if it was more out of malice than actual suggestion. There were things Ashlyn didn’t understand and things she prefered to never know about and play ignorance. The Force was the latter.

            “Hey, Ash!” Ashlyn looked up from the connectors to see a sympathetic Sid. “It’s time to wash up and get dinner. You’re done for the day.”

            Ash half-smiled. “Right, lost track of time. I guess.”

Sid nodded. “Just take it easy. I know you don’t want to do this.”

            Ash forced a bigger smile now, even if it wasn’t exactly sincere. “I’m fine. I’m sure it’ll go by fast.”

            He could see right through that, however it was better to keep the facade of being content rather than have an all out panic again. “Well, just remember if you need anything--” Ash just nodded as she stood up and brushed some dirt from her jumper pants. She looked at Sid, her unconvinced smile looking more sincere now as she walked out of the work area.

 

* * *

 

           

            Ash quickly washed up, not wanting to waste too much time before having to meet with Kylo Ren. She changed into a black tank top and form fitting pants, unsure of what exactly was expected of her in training. Was it going to be physical or more mental? Regardless, this was the most comfortable attire she could figure out.

            She wandered into the cafeteria, the only group knowing of her fate being the maintenance team. They all grimaced as they greeted her. “Guys, it’s fine.” Ash groaned, rolling her eyes. “I’m not heading off to my death.”

            “Might as well be.” Grimm mumbled, receiving a death glare from Sid.

Taka cleared his throat. “Hey, if anyone can survive spending time with the Commander, it’s Ash.” He tried to reassure the group, receiving a slight smile from Ash in return. “She’s tougher than any of us.” Ash relaxed a little as she took a seat next to Taka. The group returning to their previous conversations.

            “You really believe that?”

Taka took a bite of his food. “That you’re tougher than the rest of us? Sure. That Commander Ren won’t kill you?” He smirked. “Well, that I may have stretched the truth a bit.” Ash elbowed his arm playfully as Taka laughed. “I’m sure you’ll be fine, you survived him once already.”

            “But this is different. He’s training me to do something I’m not even sure I can do.”

Taka thought for a moment. “Honestly, Commander Ren is a very strong Force user. At least, from what we all know of it. If he says you are, I’m inclined to believe him.” Ash was silent as she looked down at the cafeteria table, noticing the small crumbs that was more than likely from her messy team. “You don’t agree?” Taka asked.

            She shrugged. “I guess I don’t really have a choice. It’s all just really new and honestly quite jarring to me.” She admitted. “I came here to do maintenance for six months and now I’m being trained in the Force. Not exactly an expected outcome for a maintenance worker.”

            “Makes sense.” Taka agreed, noting Ashlyn hadn’t gone to grab food. “Not eating?” He asked.

“My stomach is in knots, I feel like if I eat I might vomit.” Ash confessed as she wrapped her arms around her waist. “I’m just antsy. Tomorrow I’m sure I’ll be fine.”

            “Just don’t make a habit about it.” He said, nodding towards Sid. “He worries about you. He worries about all of us but, right now you’re his number one concern.”

            Ash made a face. “Why?”

“Sid is very protective of his team, he’ll always be the one to stand up for you when you need it. He’s been that way since the old maintenance director--” Taka sighed. “Well, you know what happened there.”

            “Not helping, Taka.” Ashlyn grumbled, even though she had a good feeling Kylo Ren wouldn’t kill her… tonight at least.

            Taka gave her a reassuring smile. “You’ll be fine, Ash. Have a little faith.” His comforting smile dissipated almost as easily as it came. In fact, Ashlyn wasn’t sure what had stolen Taka’s attention until she noticed the entire cafeteria had gone completely still. No one moved as they sat quietly, their eyes fixated on the entrance. Ashlyn turned her attention to the door to see Kylo Ren had marched in, standing at the only exit. Even with the helmet on, she could feel him staring at her. “I guess he wanted to start early.” Taka mumbled quietly.

            Ash frowned. “I guess so.” She looked at her table of slightly horrified comrades and gave them a reassuring smile. “Cheer up, guys. I’ll see you all tomorrow.” Even though, Ashlyn needed the reassurance herself, she knew her crew needed it just a tad more as she excused herself from the table and walked over to Kylo Ren.

            Ash felt all eyes on her as she walked over to the towering giant, in that moment she realized just how much smaller she was than him. He stood at least a foot over her, heck, he stood taller than most on this base. She was almost positive he relished that fact too.

            Kylo Ren walked out of the cafeteria first, Ashlyn following suit and trying to match his strides as the two began walking for the training room. “I thought you said to meet you there?” Ashlyn asked, once the two were out of earshot of any potential eavesdroppers.

            “I figured on your first day I’d make sure you didn’t try to run.” His mask hid the teasing tone but, Ashlyn knew he was joking. “Besides, any chance to cause an upset among by subordinates is always amusing.”

            Ash rolled her eyes. “Of course. You have to maintain that scary persona of yours somehow.”

            “Are you not afraid of me?” He asked curiously.

“Now that’s a double-edged sword.” Ash explained. “If I say ‘yes’, then that will only enhance your arrogance. If I say ‘no’, you’ll simply try harder to ruin my life.”

            He smirked under his mask. “You’re learning.”

“Pretty soon I’ll have you figured out.”

            Kylo Ren snorted. “Doubtful.” They were getting closer to the training room now and Ashlyn began to grow more nervous. “Besides, I’m not as easy to read as you are.”

            “You can read minds. That’s cheating.”

Kylo Ren opened the training room door and stepped inside. The room lit up automatically, revealing the same room that Ashlyn had found out her fate in. She almost hated seeing it as the door closed behind her, sealing her in. “You also broadcast your emotions very loudly.”

            “Do not…” Ash frowned as Kylo Ren wandered to the middle of the room and sat down on the mat, his legs folded criss cross. He reached up to his helmet and unlatched the hinges, the helmet making a quiet hiss as he took off the headpiece. He shook his head, his hair falling perfectly into place. Ashlyn wondered if that was a Force thing, always having perfectly fabulous hair.

            “Come.” Kylo Ren said, placing his helmet next to him before motioning to the spot in front of him. Hesitantly, Ashlyn walked over and copied his sitting position as she sat across from him a few inches away. “I think what would help most right now is to find a way to quiet your mind.” He said. “It would also keep your emotions in check when you’re panicking.”

            “I don’t panic.” She tried to defend herself.

He gave her a knowing look. “Like how you weren’t panicking all morning over our training session?”

            She glared. “You said you’d stop listening to my thoughts.”

“Again, it’s easier said than done when you broadcast so loudly.” Ash deflated slightly as Kylo Ren explained a little further. “It’s not a bad thing. In fact, using emotions can be a useful when using the Force. It can help bring out a more powerful side that you never knew existed.”

            “So panicking is good?” She asked.

He grinned. “Preferably, we leave panicking out of the emotional spectrum and focus on an emotion like anger.”

             “What if I’m not angry?” She asked. “I can’t just channel anger and hatred.”

“You need to find something that helps create that emotion, everyone has a trigger.” Kylo explained.

            Ashlyn looked slightly perplexed. “So why not find a happy trigger and use a good emotion like joy?”

            “Because joy is not as powerful as hate.”

“Is using the Force only about being powerful?” She had a point, Kylo was more impressed she was asking relevant questions. That was a sign of interest at least. However, he needed her to become stronger and reliable when the time came.

            “There are many aspects of using the Force. However, one of the easiest ways of using it and understanding is by finding the strongest emotion.”

            She pursed her lips. “Can’t I just learn it without channeling it through a negative way.”

He sighed. “How about we just work on clearing your thoughts first and then we can battle over the best way of teaching you?”

            Ashlyn smiled. “Fine. Teach away, Commander.”

Kylo Ren rolled his eyes. “I’m not your Commander here, I’m your Master.”

            She grimaced. “I don’t like ‘Master’, I feel like it gives you too much power.”

“That’s the idea.” He informed her dryly.

            “Can’t I just call you ‘Kylo Ren’ or just ‘Kylo’ or ‘Ren’?” She asked. “Maybe ‘pain in my ass’?”

            Surprisingly, Kylo Ren laughed. Ashlyn was almost certain he’d be angry with her after that. “Fine, when we are here you can just call me by my name. However, if we are ever in the company of the Supreme Leader, you must call me ‘Master’. Are we clear?”

            “Supreme Leader.” Ashlyn repeated. “There’s that name again. I assume he’s the one in-charge of all the First Order doings?”

            Kylo didn’t flinch. “He is.”

“Is he your Master too?”

            “I have no Master.” Kylo informed her. “He is our leader and that is it.”

Ashlyn frowned. “Then how did you learn to use the Force?”

            Kylo Ren matched her frown. “You talk an awful lot for an apprentice.”

“Well, you haven’t taught me anything.”

            “I haven’t had a chance to with your yammering.” Before Ash could yell at him, he continued. “Close your eyes.” She was hesitant at first, only to receive an impatient sigh in return. So, Ashlyn Novafall closed her eyes. At first, her head began to swarm with crazy ideas over what Kylo Ren was going to do while her guard was down. Man, she realized, she did not trust him at all. He seemed to snort in reply to her thought and immediately Ashlyn tried to think of something other than the intimidating man in front of her. “I want you to clear your head and feel.”

            Ashlyn cocked an eyebrow, her eyes still closed as she asked impatiently. “Feel what?”

“If you’re Force Sensitive, you’ll feel it.” He informed her. “Now relax.”

            Inhaling deeply, Ashlyn sat up straighter. Her shoulders fell slightly as she listened to the quiet room. From here, she couldn’t hear the light hum of the engines like in her apartment or around most of the base. Only her breathing, which was now matching his, was the only noise.

            She wasn’t sure exactly what she should be thinking about, if she should be thinking at all. Kylo Ren did say he wanted her to clear her head and here she was doing the exact opposite of that. Unfortunately, she had promised she would try. So she did.

            At first, nothing happened. Then Ashlyn began to feel weightless and suddenly like she wasn’t in the room at all; like she was suddenly in another plane of existence outside of what she knew. The immediate warmth came soon after; under her skin Ash felt tingling and warmth pulsing through her body. Her mind soon became a canvas for much more and so little all at once. She saw brightness, a light that seemed to shine right through her entire being. Then the same chilling darkness and nothingness that reminded her of the empty dream space she inhabited with Kylo Ren.

            Now, about Kylo Ren. She could _feel_ him. She knew she wasn’t that close to him to physically touch him yet, it felt like she could. His pulse, but not his living pulse, a different pulse. A pulse of power surged from his being and Ashlyn could feel every bit of it. By the stars, the power radiating from the being before her. The living Force behind his existence, it also felt eerily similar to the darkness in the empty space. It made sense, he harnessed that darkness for power.

            This feeling was first terrifying; the sudden warmth and then the absence of all being. The panic had begun to set back in yet, the moment she felt Kylo Ren’s existence… the panic subsided. She wondered if he had felt it too?

            Ashlyn’s eyes snapped open, her breathing labored as she looked around the room and tried to ground herself back to reality. She looked to Kylo Ren, whom had a more than pleased grin on his lips. “Do you still believe you’re not sensitive?” She responded by childishly sticking her tongue out at him, he chuckled. “What did you feel?” He asked.

            “Don’t you know?” She retorted.

“I want to hear it from you.”

            She caught her breath now. “I could feel light and darkness all at once. It was comforting and empty all the same.” She tried to explain. “I could feel you too.” Ash quickly clarified. “But not _you_. I could feel your existence; power and darkness.”

            “And how did it make you feel?” Ash thought for a moment, how _did_ it make her feel? This was only a taste of what Kylo Ren’s world. A brief moment of power and seduction to that power. Ashlyn found herself craving that feeling again, craving the sensation under her skin yet embarrassed to ask for it. He was grinning now. “You want more?”

            Ashlyn shook her head in denial. “Isn’t that how corruption begins?”

“Not if you learn to harness it properly.” He offered. “I can teach you that and so much more if you’ll let me.”

            Shockingly, she nodded. “I don’t want to get lost in it.” She admitted with hesitance. “I don’t want to lose myself.”

            Kylo Ren’s tone softened, his voice full of promise as he reassured her. “You won’t. You’re stronger than you realize. I’ve felt it from the beginning.”

            Ashlyn frowned slightly. “That’s something I don’t really understand, Kylo.” She said his name, making it sound all the more sweeter when she did to Kylo Ren. He was most certain she had said it before but now, it meant something more. “You had told me from the start I wasn’t sensitive. Why?”

            He shifted uncomfortably in his seat. “Denial, I suppose.” He admitted. “It’s been a long time since I’ve encountered another Force Sensitive person. At first, I needed to know if you were a threat to this operation; to me. When I realized you had no idea, selfishly I kept it to myself until the time was right. I had always known, I just needed to show my cards at the most opportune moment.”

            “For your own personal gain?”

“Yes.” He wouldn’t lie to her. “And for your own safety. They would have killed you if I hadn’t gone about this the way that I had.”

            She nodded. Ashlyn wasn’t stupid, she understood Kylo Ren was selfish and everything he would do would have consequence to his own personal gain. She was another pawn in that, although unknowingly exactly how much of a pawn she truly would be. Yet, another part of her realized that a small piece of it (which truly may have been very small) he did do it to save her life. Something she’d be grateful for. “So, do I get a cool light sword now?”

            He snorted. “Slow down, Novafall. You’ll give yourself a nosebleed.” She laughed in reply. “We’ve only scratched the surface.”

            There was a lot Ashlyn Novafall did not understand about her new way of life. Then again, would her life change that drastically when she learned more about the Force? She didn’t want to think of that now, instead, she wanted to avoid the feeling of comfort she felt when sitting near the dark haired jerk in front of her. Her mind reminding her exactly of what he was capable of yet, ignoring that warning all together as they sat and talked for the rest of the training session.

 

* * *

 


	11. Everyone Has Their Own Agenda

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> And their own plans and their own selfish needs... that can only get them so far, right?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have another chapter posting tomorrow which is going to cause a lot of craziness to our characters and I can't wait so please hang in there! 
> 
> Remember to comment and leave kudos! Enjoy!

* * *

 

 

Ashlyn woke up in a cold sweat, her breathing laboured as she gasped trying to inhale precious oxygen that burned her lungs. She was in a panic as her heart thudded against her chest, the room dimly lit from the early morning light. Her nightmare came back again, the fiery launch bay. Except this time, this time was much worse. This time she could feel the burning flames on her skin and the pain of the person trapped on the ship. It was awful and terrifying.

            She attempted to catch her breath as she fought her way back to reality. For once, she actually wished she had been in the nothingness with Kylo Ren. At least if she wanted to, she could send a Rathtar after him for some entertainment.

            ‘ _Are you all right?’_ The voice in her head startled her as she jumped slightly. It took her a moment to register who was speaking, even though there was really only one answer.

            ‘ _Yeah…’_ She replied faintly. ‘ _Bad dream.’_

‘ _I know.’_ Of course he did, he said Ashlyn was very **loud** when she thought or panicked or did practically anything. ‘ _Unfortunately, there isn’t too much I can do about that. Force visions happen whether we want them to or not.’_

            Ashlyn bit her lip. ‘ _So someone is going to die?’_

‘ _Perhaps.’_ That didn’t make her feel any better and soon Ashlyn began to think of the blonde haired boy again. The one she saw get sick and die, her little brother that was taken from her so suddenly. ‘ _Come to the training room.’_

            ‘ _I have to work on the reactor.’_

 _‘Less excuses, get moving.’_ He said, causing Ashlyn to have second thoughts before ultimately groaning and removing herself from her warm bed. She grabbed her jumper and put her boots on. At least, no one was really up this early in the morning to see this catastrophe waiting to happen.

            To her dismay, Sid was awake and sipping on some very strong coffee as he headed towards his office. The two met in the maintenance bay hallway, Sid eyeing her over his cup of coffee. “You’re up early.”

            There was no use in lying to Sid, she figured. “Commander Ren requested my presence in the training room. Hopefully, I won’t be there too long and back ready to work.”

Sid shrugged, honestly happy that he didn’t have to lie to Ash today about the StarKiller plans. “He’s the Commander, whatever he says goes.”

            She narrowed her eyes. “No argument?”

“None.” He said simply. “Just be careful.”

            Ash’s glare softened as she smiled. “Always.” She said, noticing even though his cup hid the smile, Sid’s eyes gave him away. Ash walked passed Sid, leaving him in the maintenance bay and headed for the training room.

* * *

 

            Kylo Ren was already there waiting for her, his helmet off and resting out of the way. He was aligning three metal balls on the floor, each varying in size from small to large. Ashlyn wandered into the room, staring at him curiously as he stood up straight. “So much for me training only at night.” She commented.

            “This isn’t training.” He retorted. “Okay, it’s _a little bit_ of training. Think of it more as a distraction.”

            Ash grinned. “Distraction?”

“It’s the best way to move forward from a Force Vision.” Kylo admitted.

            Ashlyn nodded, looking down at the metal balls now. “Are we playing catch?” She asked.

“It’s an experiment.” He confessed, sitting down in front of the balls and motioning for Ash to sit across from him. Just like yesterday, she obeyed and sat down. This time however, with less resistance as she did. “Let’s see if you’re ready to levitate objects.”

            She scoffed. “You’re mad. It’s only my second day.”

Kylo Ren had a cheeky grin on his face. “Your point?”

            Ash tried her hardest to keep a stern tone, even though the smile on her face gave her away. “Alright, I’ll try it but, I have to be back to work by the afternoon.”

            “I make no promises.” He said dryly; they were done when he said they were. Granted, in a way this was more to help Ashlyn forget the nightmare she had earlier. Kylo Ren would make the excuse that surely, this was also benefiting him. He’d never admit it was for her.

            Ashlyn made a face at the three orbs before her. “Alright, do I just wave my hand or something?”

            Kylo Ren chuckled, causing Ashlyn to frown in displeasure as he made fun of her. “No, it’s not just about _waving your hand_.” He explained with a grin. “It’s more than that.”

            “Then enlighten me, oh wise one.” She huffed slightly.

He took the challenge and gracefully raised his right hand slightly. The metal orbs began to levitate with ease and slowly floated around the space between them, rotating and moving through one another. “It’s not about moving the object.” He said. “It’s about feeling the life force around the object, the living Force is all around us. Everything is connected by its energy but, only some can harness that energy and use it to their whim.” The orbs continued to levitate with ease as he spoke. “You need to feel it and learn to balance within it.” Slowly, the orbs gently floated back down to the ground and in their original starting position. Kylo Ren looked at Ashlyn, nodding at the orbs. “Now you try.”

            She pursed her lips. “But _how_?”

He rolled his eyes at her lack of faith. “Remember how I told you not to think yesterday? Do the same thing except this time I only want you to focus on moving the balls. Forget everything else exists for a moment. You need to _feel_ it. Use your emotion and what you’re feeling to move the ball.”

            So Ashlyn trusted Kylo Ren once more and attempted what she thought was impossible. It was. The metal balls didn’t budge and for the next three hours she kept trying and grew more and more frustrated. Levitation was a lot harder than just feeling the existence of the Force. Ash also didn’t really understand how to feel the space around an object and no matter how hard Kylo Ren tried to explain it, it didn’t click right away.

           After the first three hours and Ashlyn began to give up, a miracle happened. One orb moved ever so slightly. At first, neither one was sure they had seen it. Yet upon confirmation they determined the orb did move a centimeter to the right of its starting position. This caused Ashlyn’s mood to change drastically, now she was overcome with joy. However, she was still focused on moving the orb that the excessive emotion now filling her caused the orb to shoot out of control and land on the far side of the room.

         The two turned their heads sharply in the direction where the orb rocketed to. Both stared in disbelief before bursting into unanimous laughter. “Well, that’s one way to do it.” Kylo Ren said, still grinning brightly as he looked back at Ashlyn. There it was again, that genuine and bright smile. That same smile he had seen once before on the night StarKiller froze and immediately couldn’t get enough of. By the stars, he’d give anything to see it again but knew the possibility was so rare.

         Ash immediately noticed he was staring, her smile faltered only slightly as she brushed her red hair behind her ears. “Did I do it wrong?” She asked sheepishly.

“Not exactly.” He said. “I suppose our next lesson should be _control_.”

        Ash simply laughed. The two found themselves doing that a lot that day and like Kylo Ren had intended, this was the much needed distraction Ashlyn needed.

* * *

 

        For the next few weeks, Ashlyn was hard at work on the new StarKiller project. The project itself was really beginning to develop and take shape. However, that was Sid’s fear as everything came together. He didn’t want to have to explain the function of what they were building. In fact, that was the last thing he ever wanted to deal with. He would bide his time accordingly and protect his team for as long as possible. Yet, it wouldn’t be long now before the truth came to the surface.

         Although, the ones in charge seemed less concerned about the upset the new plans caused and focused more on keeping the base up and running. Except for General Hux. He had other obligations on his plate on top of keeping the base functioning. He should have been ecstatic over the base being back on schedule; the star mechanic was making everything easy!

         Okay, no, Ashlyn Novafall was making things difficult now. Not directly, of course. He also blamed Commander Ren for the added stress on his life. He didn’t dislike Ash, in fact, he found her company rather amusing when he was in her presence. Yet, Supreme Leader gave him specific instructions. If things were out of place while Kylo Ren trained Ash, he was to end it immediately. Well, things were slowly falling out of place.

         He noticed Kylo Ren and Ashlyn were arguing less and becoming more complacent around each other. Normally, this wouldn’t warrant a second glance. However, knowing how their early interactions went, this was a cause for panic. And Armitage Hux was panicking. Which is why he called Captain Phasma to his office, someone he trusted and had known for years prior to becoming General of this god forsaken rock.

        “Can you at least tell me what is happening?” Phasma asked, eyeing Hux as he sat at his desk, his hand in his hands as he groaned. “You never call me to a private meeting like this unless Kylo Ren has done something completely impulsive and irreversible or everything is breaking on StarKiller. Which is it?”

         He shifted in his seat, his gloved hands running through his bright red hair as he exhaled harshly through his nostrils. “A bit of both, honestly.” Phasma waited patiently for him to continue. “I have to monitor the training between Ren and Ms. Novafall. If anything seems out of place or any signs of treason, I must dispose of it quickly.”

        “The Supreme Leader seems paranoid, no?” It was more rhetorical than anything. “If there’s any sign of treason, you’ll have to end Ms. Novafall, won’t you?”

“Which means the weapon won’t be completed as quickly as I’d like.” He explained dryly. “At first, I thought siding with Kylo Ren would be beneficial in the long run. He’d get what he wanted and I’d ultimately get what I wanted. Now it’s becoming increasingly complicated.”

        Phasma pursed her lips, nodding slowly in understanding before asking. “So what do you plan to do then? Have you witnessed any of their training?”

“Not yet.” Hux admitted. “I’ve been unsuccessful at finding a relevant excuse to watch their progress.”

        “I assume saying ‘Let me watch so I can see if you’re betraying us’ is not a viable excuse then?” Phasma grinned slightly, receiving a look from Hux.

“If only it were that easy, I don’t have a purpose to intervene on their training--” Then it clicked in his head, an idea. “But I know someone who can.”

        Phasma was quick to catch on. “I will not be dragged into this.”

“You’re not being dragged into anything. You’re assisting in uncovering any evidence of treason. That’s simply proving your loyalty to the cause.” He tried to reason, only to receive a glare in return. “Besides, you’re more likely to be in their training areas anyway. I’m sure you can also give your own personal touch of wisdom in some of the training.”

            “I’m not a Force user.” Phasma said dryly.

“No, however you do know a thing or two about combat. I trust Ash will find learning combat from you a little easier than from him.”

            Phasma’s glare remained, however, her brown quirked slightly. “Are you saying my sparring methods are easy?”

“I’m saying Kylo Ren is a little too ruthless in his.”

            That was something they both could agree on. “Fine.” Phasma relented. “I will see what I can find out. But, I will not lie to Kylo that I want to help Ashlyn. He’ll grow more suspicious if I simply butt in.”

            “Your help is appreciated.” Hux said, sincerity lacing in his words just enough to show even a little bit of gratitude to the Captain of the Storm Troopers. Phasma simply waved him off, grabbing her chrome helmet and dismissing herself. Phasma knew Hux would do the same for her, they had an understanding. In fact, the three of them did. However, sometimes Kylo Ren needed to be checked back in line and the only two who could do that was Hux and herself.

 

* * *

 

           

            Ashlyn was slightly concerned at the concept that she was almost a little too reluctant to head back to working on StarKiller. What had gotten into her lately? Was she actually **enjoying** Kylo Ren’s company? That couldn’t be it, she would never admit that that was actually even a possibility. How could that be? There had to be some other possible notion as to why Ashlyn felt a sense of reluctancy at leaving the smirking dark haired jerk.

            Yet, a single and utterly disgusting thought began to linger in the back of her headspace. Once she prayed he would never become wise to. What if, and that was a big what if, the two of them could be friends? What was stopping them from actually enjoying each other’s company besides the need to constantly torture one another? Okay, maybe that was a good enough reason. In fact, that was probably as good of a reason as Ashlyn needed.

But something still lingered there. A very dormant feeling that made Ashlyn want to scream out in denial and disgust. Ashlyn Novafall was beginning to like Kylo Ren. It was a very miniscule feeling but enough to cause a complete and total meltdown in her mind. One that didn’t go unnoticed by the subject of conversation.

            Their new so-called tolerance for one another had also not gone unnoticed by Sid. He would stay quiet and bide his time for now; waiting for a more opportune moment to present the case to Ashlyn. As grateful as he was that Ashlyn was distracted and not unwrapping the facade of what StarKiller was turning into, he was still very protective of his star mechanic. He had every reason to be, which was why when he messaged Ashlyn Novafall to meet him at his office, he knew it truly was for a good cause.

            Ash hurried to the maintenance bay after her morning session with Kylo Ren, she was feeling guilty about missing her morning work that when she wandered into Sid’s office, she couldn’t help but blurt out her guilt. “Listen, I’m sorry I didn’t come to work this morning. I had an--” She paused, not knowing how to word it and also knowing Sid didn’t know too much of the situation at all.

            “Commander Ren needed to speak with you, I know.” Sid said. “You told me.” He motioned to the chair in front of him. Ash took a moment before sitting down. “You two seem close.”

            Ash scoffed. “He’s forcing me to train with something I don’t want anything to do with. If that’s your definition of ‘seeming close’ then I don’t know what to tell you.”

“While I’m glad your relationship--” Ash visibly flinched at the term. “Is improving and he no longer means to kill you. I still want you to be careful, Ash.” Sid said.

            “Sid, I’m fine. Everything’s fine. Commander Ren isn’t going to hurt me.”

Sid’s lips curled into a half smile. “I need you to remember something. You’re not a permanent member of StarKiller and being so means you still have a lot to learn about the politics here. That being said, I need to remind you of who Kylo Ren is. He’s known to turn in an instance, his anger is unmatched. If he wanted to, Ash, he could kill you. Do you not remember your first encounter?”

            “If he was such a danger then why did you convince me to stay.” Ash retorted. “Why wouldn’t you just let me leave during my first week here like I had asked.”

            Sid sighed. “Selfishness, I guess. I didn’t want to lose another worker because of him. You had and still have such potential, I didn’t want to lose that.” Sid paused, licking his lips before adding. “I didn’t know it would get this bad.”

            Ashlyn bit her lip, surely Sid had everything wrong. Granted, she had been thinking about her companionship with Kylo Ren just moments before her meeting with Sid. Was a mutual understanding between the two so wrong? Perhaps it really was. “I’ll keep my guard up.” She said, not really sure if she had actually meant it or was just appeasing Sid.

            Either way, Sid seemed pleased. “Just looking out for ya, kid.”

Ash smiled. “I’m not as fragile as everyone seems to think.”

            He smirked. “No, you just have a target on your head.”

“Apparently.” She agreed with a laugh.

 

* * *

 

            “Commander Ren.” Her voice was commanding, even without her chrome helmet. Phasma had her helmet tucked under her arm as she entered the training room. She was pretty relieved finding him here, above all over places he could be storming about, here was neutral territory. In fact, it was moreso _her_ comfort zone. “I need to speak with you.”

            He gave her a curious look. “Did Hux break something?”

Phasma quirked an amused smile. “No, he did not. He has however informed me that you will be training the mechanic in the ways if the Force.”

            Kylo Ren stiffened slightly. “Indeed.” He wasn’t a very trusting person. Yet, if anyone could get him to trust even just a little, that was Phasma.

            “I wish to assist you.”

He scoffed. “How could you assist?”

            She wanted so badly to roll her eyes at his reply. “I’m sure you will be teaching her combat, as per your own trainings.” Phasma said. “I want to assist in training her hand-to-hand combat. I can train her with the most optimal techniques.”

            Kylo narrowed his eyes. “I can teach her myself.”

“You’ll probably scare her, Ren.” Phasma was brutally honest, which had a hand in why Kylo Ren trusted her. “Your methods are slightly--” She thought of a word. “ _Intense_.”

            “She’ll have to face me eventually.”

Phasma nodded. “Of course, however, I’m sure you don’t want to lose her as your apprentice just yet. Let me train her with basic procedures and drills, you can of course supervise. Once she passes my command, you can take over.”

            Kylo Ren sighed. “Hux put you up to this, didn’t he? He doesn’t trust me to train her properly?” He began to grow angry. Not enough to lash out, it wasn’t exactly Phasma’s fault this was happening anyway.

            “He’s more concerned you’ll lose his star mechanic.” Phasma said. “He believes everything is riding on StarKiller and Ms. Novafall. Personally, I’ve never even met the girl and I’m already sick of hearing of her.”

            Ren smirked. “She’s quite nauseating.”

Phasma quirked a knowing brow. “Is that why you seem to spend so much time with her?”

            His face was stone, giving little to no emotion as he clicked his tongue to the roof of his mouth. “I’m training her.” He restated.

            “Of course you are.”

The two stood silently, their face off could only be won by one person and one person alone and they both knew that. “Fine.” Kylo Ren waved his hand dismissively. “She’ll probably be happy to train with someone other than me for a few days.”

            She grinned. “In two days I’ll train her then.”

“Why not tomorrow?”

            Phasma folded her arms over her chest disapprovingly. “You may not care for a First Order holiday, however, the rest of this base does.”

            He groaned as he remembered. “Empire Day?”

“I’m surprised, I figured you of all people would relish in Empire Day.”

            “I don’t care for holidays.” He said dryly. “They distract people from their work and slows productivity.”

            She shook her head. “While I agree with you there, the crew deserves the day off. Let them enjoy it.” Phasma turned to leave. “Have your apprentice be ready to be sore. And try not to be late, I do not care for lateness.” Without another word, Phasma left Kylo Ren alone in the training room before he could change his mind all together. At least, General Hux would be pleased.


	12. Empire Day

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> And then things got complicated

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Totally just going to pretend I didn't disappear for a month.... remember to leave kudos and comments! Kbai.

* * *

 

_           Ashlyn was growing more and more conflicted over what nightmare she’d rather. Although, she was feeling somewhat relieved to see the emptiness she had come to known her first two months on StarKiller. It gave her a break from the jolting nightmare of death and chaos. At least now she had some control over what was happening. The term control being used loosely, of course. Yet, Ash took comfort this time. Granted, the comfort was coming from the lesser of two evils. The margin between the two very, very small.  _

_           It didn’t take long for Ashlyn to have her partner in crime join her. He sat down next to her as the two stared out into nothing. “I suppose this is better than fiery death.” He said dryly.  _

_          Ashlyn glared at him. “It’s the closest I’m going to get to a peaceful night's sleep.” _

_ “You really believe this to be peaceful?” Kylo Ren asked.  _

_          Ash rolled her eyes as she stretched slightly, her immediate thought returning to the fateful day before her training began. Her grin slightly mischievous as she asked him. “So, how are you?”  _

_         He looked at her, confused at first then immediately chuckled. “See? Is it so hard to ask?” He said. “I’m well, thank you. How are you?” _

_ Ash shrugged, still smiling as she spoke. “Oh, you know. Busy working on StarKiller and juggling Force training. It’s been hectic.” _

_        He nodded, his smirk fading slightly. “At least you’re progressing.” _

_ She was. Granted, her levitation skills were still not perfected. Ash did feel like she was connecting more with the Force. However, in doing so that opened up more Force dreams that she really wanted no part of. “If you say so, then I must be.” _

_        “You need to learn control.” Kylo Ren explained. “You need to understand how to balance the Force around you. I still think you’re too focused on moving the object and not feeling how the object moves and connects with the Force around it.”  _

_          “Oh yes, of course, focus on the object but not the object. Got it.” She replied sarcastically, receiving a knowing look from Kylo Ren.  _

_ “It will only become harder to ignore, especially once you begin to feel emotions around you.”  _

_         Ash frowned. “I don’t think I’m ready for that. Feeling someone’s personal thoughts or emotions, it’s an invasion of--” _

_ Kylo Ren rolled his eyes as he interrupted her. “Invasion of privacy, I know. However, it’s good to feel in tune with that around you. The purpose of the Force is to be in tune to the existence of everything.” _

_           She made a face. “Yeah but, what if I finally get into your head and hear all your plans to kill me? I don’t want to know what you think about on a daily basis.”  _

_He grinned. “I doubt you’ll ever get to that point.” He said somewhat reassuringly, if Ashlyn could even call it that._ _“If it makes you feel better, you’ll be training with Captain Phasma for a while as well.” He explained, Ashlyn looked at him curiously. “She’s going to assist with hand-to-hand skills.”_

_          Ash’s jaw nearly dropped. “I have to fight too?” _

_ Kylo shrugged. “It helps.”  _

_          Ash frowned. “And why aren’t you training me? I thought you’d jump at the chance to beat me up.” _

_ He snorted. “As much as I would love to do so, Phasma believes it would be less  _ **_painful_ ** _ if she trains you first. Then you can fight me.” _

_          “Oh joy.” She said dryly. “So what are we learning tomorrow? Any insider tips so I can prepare?” _

_ “We aren’t.” Kylo said. “It’s Empire Day.” _

_           Ash made a face. “Empire Day?” _

_ “The base shuts down for the day, practically everyone celebrates the day the Empire formed and took over the Galaxy.” _

_          Ash nodded. “Remind me, how did that end again?” He glared, and it was menacing. “I’m kidding, relax.” She said quickly. “Anyway, what do we do on Empire Day?” Kylo rolled his eyes, looking out into the nothingness before them. That was when Ash realized that Kylo Ren didn’t avoid the question due to her ignorance, he ignored the question because he personally did not know. “You’ve never celebrated?” She asked. _

_           “Not necessarily.” He confirmed. “I don’t care for useless holidays.”  _

_ “Useless?” Ash asked somewhat surprised. “I’m confused as to how this wouldn’t be your favorite holiday.” _

_           “I have more important things to do than join your little maintenance crew in their depravity.”  _

_ Ash laughed. “They’re harmless, I assure you.” She said through her giggles. “The Troopers however, that might be where the confusion lies.” _

_           He was unable to hide his smirk. “True. However, I will not be celebrating all the same.” _

_ She frowned, it only seemed right that everyone take part in a base wide holiday. Hesitantly, she said the last thing she would have ever imagined to have left her lips. “Why not enjoy the holiday with me then?” He looked at her from the corner of his eye, his expression hardening. “I don’t really know how to celebrate and you most certainly don’t know how to socialize so--” She tried to reason. _

_          “You think it’s a good idea for us to spend the holiday together?” Kylo Ren asked, somewhat in disbelief. _

_ Ash shrugged. “Why not?” She asked. “We can even train a little bit, if you’d like.” He was hesitant in his replay. The last time Kylo Ren was ever invited to anything that wasn’t a meeting, mission or hostile take-down of a group of sympathizers well, he couldn’t actually remember a time. That also bode the question of why the heck anyone would have asked him, especially Ashlyn of all people. “It’s not that hard of a question to answer.” Ash said, pulling him out of his daze.  _

_          Kylo Ren tensed. “Once again, I don’t do holidays.” He restated. _

_ Ash pursed her lips. “Right but, I just thought maybe you’d like to not spend it alone and maybe spend it with someone who didn’t understand the justification behind it.” _

_         His expression softened as he looked back at Ashlyn, he exhaled through his nostrils before his sly smirk reappeared. “Admit it, Ash.” He said. “You’re just looking to spend more time with me. If that’s the case I can always request we train more and take away some of your time working on StarKiller.”  _

_         The horrified expression on Ashlyn’s face said it all as Kylo Ren began laughing. She immediately pushed him as hard as she could, barely knocking him over as he continued to laugh. “That’s not what I meant and you know it!”  _

_        “Oh no, of course not.” He said, his laughter dying down as silence came over the two of them. Sure, there were a number of things he’d rather do than celebrate this holiday and mingle with the subordinates. He didn’t think spending time with Ashlyn would ever have been one of those options he’d prefer. Yet, he knew better than to give into that temptation. She was his new apprentice and if Kylo Ren knew what was good for him, he’d keep that professional relationship where it was. A friendship with Ash could ultimately be his demise. A fate he couldn’t let come to light. Not while he still had the willpower to stop it. “Enjoy your day off tomorrow.” He said softly, his eyes no longer the darkened black pools Ash had been used to. No, this time they were a warm and golden brown. “We will begin training again after the holiday is over.” _

_        Disappointedly, Ash nodded. “Well, if you change your mind. You know where I’ll be.” _

_ He nodded, smirking again as the two stared out into nothingness again.  _

 

* * *

 

       Ashlyn slowly opened her eyes, that was one thing she hated when waking up from the dreams she shared with Kylo, it just seemed to happen. She often wondered if he was still sitting in nothingness or woke up the same time she did. Did he experience that sudden waking feeling too? 

       Ash pulled her legs to her chest, her arms wrapping around them tightly as she listened to the quiet hum of the engines below her apartment. They hummed gently and softly, creating a serene scene before her as the sunlight lit the apartment just enough to show the morning creeping through. 

       With a stretch, Ashlyn slowly extended her legs again before swinging them over the side of her bed. Her feet dangling just above the cold floor as she braced for the inevitably chill that would soon come. With a brave leap, Ashlyn stood up. The cool floor causing a chill to travel up her body as she headed for the bathroom. After taking her time to freshen up, she came out of the bathroom feeling clean and like a whole new person. Washing off the remnants of the day before and remedying some of the stiffness she felt in her muscles. 

      On the table lied her datapad. She heard the first buzz, then the second. Standing a few feet from the table, Ash felt brave. She looked around her apartment, even though knowing she was definitely alone, she had a feeling Kylo Ren would someone know of what she was attempting although she wasn’t sure how. Ash raised her left hand, her eyes focusing on the datapad on the table. ‘ _ Focus… _ ’ She thought. 

      At first, nothing happened and for a few moments after nothing continued to happen until the datapad jerked slightly. It took everything in Ashlyn to keep her cool as she channeled her emotions again and concentrated on the Force. 

      The datapad began to float, although not as gracefully as she had seen Kylo Ren do many a time now, it still began to levitate off the table. Her concentration hardening as the datapad began to slowly (and almost painfully) levitate towards her. She was doing it, she was experiencing control and a calmness with the Force. Even Kylo Ren would have been proud.

       A few inches from her and soon in the home stretch, Ash would be holding the datapad. Of course, at that moment someone knocked on her apartment door. Ash jumped; startled by the sudden noise. The datapad swiftly fell to the floor with a loud SMACK. “Crap!” She hissed, running to it and picking up the datapad. The knocking continued. “Just a minute!” She shouted, looking at the datapad. A new chip in the top left of the screen adorned the datapad. 

        Disappointed, she clutched the datapad to her chest and rushed to the door. The door sliding open to reveal a very excited and now suddenly confused maintenance crew. “You’re not ready?” One of the twins asked as they pushed to see in the doorway.

       “And still in pj’s?” The other said.

Ash looked down, noticing she was still in sleeping shorts and a tank top. Her eyes going wide as she looked back at the group. “What’s going on?” She asked.

       “Did you not get our message?” Taka asked, looking at the group as they shrugged.

“I don’t think she got the message.” Grim confirmed.

         They awkwardly looked back at Ashlyn as Taka tried to explain. “It’s Empire Day?” He said slowly.

Ash sighed, remembering what Kylo Ren had said in their dream. “Right, Empire Day.” She confirmed.

        “Sid wants us to meet in the commons area.” Taka said. 

“You know, the giant room in C block!” Grim said. “They’re having a huge celebration today, Troopers and other crew members are partying.”

         “We do it every year.” Taka added.

Ash grimaced slightly. “I assume I don’t have a choice?” Their bright smiles told her ‘no’ as she nodded. She also remembered that Kylo Ren had declined to spend the day with her today regardless. So what else was she to do? She had never celebrated Empire Day before. “Alright, let’s go to this party.”

           “First--” The group of maintenance works snickered as Taka stopped Ash from leaving her apartment. “You might want to get out of your sleep clothes.” 

Ash looked down again and nodded. “Right, that. Give me ten minutes.”

            “We’ll be waiting.” Grim replied in a sing-song tone as the door slid shut between Ashlyn and the crew. 

Ashlyn inhaled deeply, looking around her empty apartment before willing herself to move to the closet. She grabbed a black tank top and form fitting black pants to go with it. She tied her red hair up in a ponytail and quickly threw on her boots. She knew the boys would grow impatient with her if she didn’t hurry. 

             After checking herself in the mirror one last time, she ran for the front door and opened it. The crew were goofing off in the hallway, except for Taka who was waiting patiently as always. He smiled brightly when Ashlyn left her apartment. “She’s ready, boys.” He said.

             The crew teasingly cat-called her as she rolled her eyes, grinning wide. “Alright, let’s go!”

The group walked down the hallway, hooting and hollering as they headed for C block. What was awaiting Ashlyn, she had no idea and quite honestly, she wasn’t sure she was ready to know.  

* * *

  
  


           The group entered the rather large common area on C block, a place Ash hadn’t really been to all that much. There was really no need for her down here, most of her work was consistently on the upper decks due to her coworkers crippling fear of running into Kylo Ren. It was something that had bothered her previously, but now she was growing more and more accustomed to the idea. Granted, she wouldn’t admit it was her growing acceptance of the person in question. 

            Upon entering the common area, Ash began to notice more and more of what Kylo had mentioned in previous trainings. She could feel the aura of the room, an overwhelming sense of relaxation and calmness. At first, it was hard to differentiate what Ash was feeling. It felt like a wall of emotion swarming over her. She couldn’t concentrate at first. However, the overall vibe was happy and compared to what she typically felt upstairs, she found it much easier to enjoy. 

            “Hey, you found her!” Sid was beaming, holding a glass of some beverage that Ash could only assume was alcoholic as he came closer to the group. “I’m surprised you convinced her to come.”

            “It didn’t take too much convincing.” Grim said, grinning. 

“Well, I’m glad you decided to join us.” He said sincerely to the girl. “It’s good to take a break once in awhile, get the mind off the chaos on StarKiller.”

             He was right, Ash could use some time away from everything. Even if that list also included Kylo Ren and Force training. She smiled slightly, shuffling from one foot to the other. “So, are we partying or what?” She asked, trying to get the attention completely off her and back to the task at hand. The group merely cheered in response as they wandered to the sea of crew members enjoying their day off.

* * *

  
  


          Kylo Ren was more than happy to be alone in his apartment and far away from the annoyances of the inhabitants of StarKiller. As much as he hated the unproductive nature of a holiday, he did rather enjoy being left alone moreso. He sat with his legs cross on the cold floor of his apartment, his body relaxed as he meditated. The hum of the generators on A deck faint but ever present. He was content; a wave of easiness washing over his normally troubled and chaotic mind. 

          He felt at peace, or rather the closest to peace he had felt in a long time. A chance to feel more in tune to all that around him, the Force, the existence of everything, and the sudden pulse of overwhelming strain coming from a much lower floor. Kylo Ren exhaled sharply through his nostrils. ‘ _ She’s straining herself.’ _ He thought as he felt the pull from the other Force user in the building. Ashlyn was not used to suddenly  _ feeling _ the energy around her, the more she became in tune with her Force Sensitivity, the more trouble she was. 

          Okay, she wasn’t exactly a  _ problem _ . She was just creating a problem for Kylo with her lack of control. Excusably, she was still learning. That didn’t make her any less of a nuisance. He was, however, somewhat proud of her attempts to push back against the sudden wall of emotion surrounding her. He still had much to teach her, and maybe Kylo Ren wasn’t exactly the best teacher, he had never trained anyone in the Force before. He had much to learn as well. 

           As hilarious as her frustration was, it was also ruining Kylo Ren’s moment of peace. He stretched lazily before finally standing up all together. He frowned slightly at the feeling of being disconnected from her again, however it being for the best. Yet, he couldn’t help but bring himself to finding herself occupying his thoughts once more. Ashlyn would probably be better off not at the rather large base party, at least away from the overpowering vibe coming from C block. She’d be content in learning the proper techniques of control rather than being forced into it. She’d be better off with him.

            Kylo Ren immediately stopped himself. Ashlyn Novafall was no more to him than a pawn in his ultimate end game. That was it. It was no concern of his as to whether she would be or would not be better off with him. He cringed. There it was again. That bitter taste in his mouth at the thought of Ashlyn being  _ his _ , in any sense of the word; a pawn, a companion, whatever. 

            Yet, maybe a part of his did want such a possession. A very,  **_very_ ** dormant part wanting her around in some form, whether it be to enjoy her company or simply annoy her. He wasn’t very sure and didn’t want to delve too deep into that thought. Instead, he’d focus on anything but Ashlyn Novafall for now. Even if that meant grabbing his helmet and storming out of his apartment. Surely, if he stalked around the empty hallways, he’d find a way to clear his head and rid himself of that annoying red head. And yet, if he managed to run into her, he wouldn’t deny himself the pleasure of making her squirm. 

* * *

  
  
  


          Ashlyn tightly gripped her drink in hand, while everyone was growing increasingly inebriated, she could barely finish one. It was overwhelming and hard to focus in a room full of the emotional vibrations she was feeling. While the good vibes were intoxicating, the inability of being able to find control to harness it was where Ash was feeling lost and helpless. 

           It must have shown on her face as the only still sober person came up to her with a sympathetic smile. “Everything okay?” Taka asked.

Ash, grimacing, nodded slightly. “It’s just not my scene.” She said, finding it easier to lie than really attempt to explain what was happening. She also didn’t know if she even  _ could _ explain what was happening. It all sounded completely crazy.

           “Me either.” Taka chuckled. “I only planned on being here for a little while before heading back to maintenance. The guys really like to party and I’m just not the type for parties.” He looked around at the room of celebrating crew members before nodding to the door. “Want to head back with me?” Nodding a little to eagerly, Ashlyn headed for the exit of the commons area with Taka. 

            At first, Taka and Ash walked in silence. Ash enjoyed the invisible weight off her entire being the further they walked from the commons and towards maintenance. They walked in step, avoiding each other’s gazes before Taka finally spoke. “So, how’s training? Is it as awful as I imagine it would be?”

            Ash nervously brushed some of her red hair behind her ear. “It’s not the worst.” She admitted sheepishly. 

“Even training with Commander Ren?” Taka asked, knowing he was pushing a little more than normal. He noticed Ash’s shoulder slump slightly. “He’s not hurting you or anything?”

           Her mood shifted slightly, a sly grin appearing. “No, he’s not hurting me.” She wanted to roll her eyes but wasn’t sure how Taka could handle such a response. He was typically reserved, unlike Kylo Ren whom she would never take away such an opportunity to show disdain towards him. “It’s just taking some getting used to.” Ashlyn explained. “I started levitating objects a little better.” She paused before deciding ultimately to let in on her little secret. “I also am tapping into things I didn’t know existed, like being able to sense emotions around me.”

          Taka made a face. “You can sense emotions?”

“Sort-of.” Ash tried to explain. “The Commander explained it in the most basic terms of sensing someone's emotions. It’s apparently much more than that; it’s like feeling their entire essence.” She sighed. “It’s also really frustrating not being able to control that feeling either. It’s like every time I have a session with the Commander more and more of this Force Sensitive crap unlocks itself.” She paused, glancing at the solemn expression of the man walking next to her before releasing an airy and nervous laugh. “Sorry, I don’t mean to vent about my current frustrations.”

           Taka frowned slightly as he looked at her. “Don’t be. You’re going through a lot and I’m sorry the one person who understands what that’s like is kind-of an awful human being.”

           Ash scoffed. “He’s not  _ that _ bad.”

“He’s yet to prove otherwise.” Taka said dryly, concerning Ash just a bit as to where this tougher side was coming from. Taka was never one to complain about anything. “Let’s not talk about the Commander right now.” He said quickly as the two turned down the hall to the maintenance wing.

             Ash pursed her lips, continuing to walk in step with Taka. “Then what would you like to talk about?”

He shrugged, grinning slightly. “Anything, I guess.” Taka said as the two walked. “Like what are your plans when your contract is up, do you plan on staying?”

            Ash pursed her lips; once again that continuous pressure of her future plans making an ugly appearance. She knew staying wasn’t a good idea, well, staying was an awful idea when people didn’t know about her abilities. Ash supposed that that immediate danger was somewhat out of the way since the one person she should have hidden it from knew. Then there was the matter of Kylo Ren himself. She did promise to stay longer if her Force training proved to be beneficial in the long run. It was. However, she was almost adamant about leaving. Or rather, she was when she was sure she hated Kylo Ren. 

           That sinking feeling returned as Taka cleared his throat; realizing he clearly used the wrong conversation piece. “Well, I’m only asking because I’d like you to stay.” He admitted. “I think you’re doing great here and who knows what else is in store for you.” 

           Ash felt herself smiling now, a calming sensation washing over her. Whether or not she was calm or Taka was, it was welcomed after the chaos she felt earlier. “Thanks, Taka. I’m just not sure what I plan to do yet.”

          He nodded, repeating his earlier sentiment. “I’m not just being nice though, Ash. I’d really like it if you stayed. You bring something extra to this team; and I’d love to get to know you a little bet--” He never finished his sentence as his body lifted immediately from the safety of the ground and like a rag doll slammed into the nearest wall with a thud. His body cracked against the sheer force as Ashlyn stood there with a horrified expression; searching for the explanation only to have her eyes lock on the masked man storming down the hallway, his hand raised.

        That calm feeling Ash had felt earlier immediately erasing and melding with panic and hatred as Kylo Ren stormed closer to them. Ash turned her attention to Taka, his face turning red as he choked and gasped for the simple sweetness of air. Her attention returned to the now towering Kylo Ren as he stood next to her, his arm outstretched and stiff as he stared through the slits in his mask at the floating and dying Taka.

         “Let him go!” Ashlyn shrieked. 

He didn’t flinch as he continued to hold Taka in place. “Funny, how easy your confidence faltered.” Kylo Ren’s distorted yet, sickeningly amused voice said.

         “Kylo, put him down!” Ash shouted, her voice pleading and desperate. “What did he do?!”

If it hadn’t had been for the commotion alerting the nearby Captain of the Storm Troopers whom also had the General in her presence, Taka would have surely been done for. “Commander Ren, drop the maintenance worker,  **_now_ ** .” General Hux’s voice was commanding. 

          Kylo Ren hesitated for a moment, glaring at Taka through his mask before sharply dropping his hand and sending Taka to the floor with another thud. His attention turned to Ashlyn as he watched her rush to Taka’s side, immediately asking him if he was all right. 

        Without another word, Kylo Ren stormed off the opposite direction, leaving a slightly confused and all together concerned General and Captain behind as random people standing by rushed over to see if the man survived Kylo Ren.


	13. How Does A Moment Last Forever (Part 1)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ashyln is special.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Woot! Here's a chapter! Remember to review and leave kudos! Kbai!

* * *

 

            Taka was quickly removed from the scene of the _event_ and taken to the medical bay. Ashlyn didn’t follow, how could see follow after all that happened? By that time the maintenance crew had heard the news anyway and made their way to the medical bay; everyone but Sid. He stood with Ashlyn outside his office, the two not saying anything until Sid sighed. “When I tell you to be careful--” He started.

            Ash shook her head. “I don’t know what we did.” She said quietly, still a little shaken from what had happened. “We were talking and then Commander Ren--” She couldn’t finish the sentence. “Sid, I’m so sorry.”

            Sid frowned slightly. “I’m not the one you should be apologizing to.” He said with a sternness Ash was not used to hearing from the normally calm man. “You need to keep the Commander away from Taka. That’s how you can make it up to him.” Sid shifted on his feet, crossing his arms across his chest before continuing. “As for the Commander--”

            “I won’t go near him again.” Ash said, her words sounding more like a promise than compromise.

“That won’t do. If anything, it will only make matters worse.” Sid explained; Ash knew he was right. “You have to continue as though nothing happened.”

            “Sid, he almost _killed_ Taka.” Ash objected.

“And I don’t need him almost or actually killing you. Not again.” He said. “Not you, not Taka, not any of the team. I have a duty to protect all of you and if it means letting Kylo Ren have his way to avoid any more tantrums, then so be it.”

            Ash was frustrated; every answer was the wrong answer in her mind. She didn’t want to be near Kylo Ren after what he had done and what he had continued to do. The realization that he wasn’t a good person kept coming back over and over in her mind. Lately, it was hard for her to remember that little detail. Kylo Ren was almost split into two people when it came down to it; the Commander and Master Ren. They were two different entities and Ash hated every second of it.

            Yet, Sid was right. In some sick capacity, Sid was right about what needed to be done now. If she did back away that could have an adverse effect and ultimately the demise of the entire team. That trapped feeling quickly returning to her as she swallowed harsh. “I have to get away from all this right now.” She wasn’t lying. Ashlyn was very overwhelmed, from the sudden spikes of emotions to what happened, it was a lot.

            Sid agreed. “Rest up, it’s the only thing you can do right now. Rest and get ready to continue your fight for survival.” He offered a somewhat sympathetic smile that Ash couldn’t bring herself to return. Instead, she nodded and excused herself. Suddenly, going to her room and resting seemed like the best idea she had ever had.

           

* * *

 

_She fought sleep for what felt like hours. Her mind battled with the idea of staying awake and just simply being miserable and tired for the next day rather than dealing with the dream world. She’d have the awful gamble between a nightmare and seeing him. Either way, she was going to lose. Yet, in her dreams she had a new pent up anger and could feel it surging through her being, especially when the man in the black robes appeared._

_He turned, looking at the five feet of fury before him. She practically radiated anger and her expression only confirmed it as she came towards him. “The hell is your problem?” She shouted, without thinking as she reached forward and shoved him. He barely moved, but the contact made her feel somewhat better. “What the hell did Taka even do to you?” Now it was his turn to get angry and boy, did Ashlyn feel it._

_“Have you forgotten who I am?” He spat. “I am your Commander and your Master, whom is so kindly training you in the ways of--”_

_She dared to scoff. “Kindly? You so kindly are training me?” That helped neither one calm down as Ash continued. “You’ve forced me into training, went out of your way to ruin any control I had over my life and then tried to kill not just me but one of my coworkers. Please, tell me again how you’re so kind!”_

_He raised his arm sharply, it stretched out before him as his hand imitated that of a choking motion. Nothing happened. Of course nothing happened. As much as he wanted to choke the life out of her for her insubordination… he couldn’t. No, he could. He just didn’t. Kylo’s decision only being justified when he watched Ashlyn flinch, ready for whatever harm to come her way only to have a look of confusion on her face as he lowered his arm. “I’m sorry.” He muttered. The confusion only worsened as he continued. “As you know, I have a temper.” She snorted, only to receive a glare in return. “Your co-worker--”_

_“Taka.” She corrected sharply. She wouldn’t let him forget the man he almost killed so easily.._

_Kylo rolled his eyes. “His thoughts about you were improper. I’m surprised you didn’t hear them.”_

_“I can’t hear thoughts, we haven’t gone over that yet--” She paused. “Wait, you were listening in on his thoughts?”_

_“It was hard not to.” Kylo admitted as he grow more visibly agitated. “I came to find you, as per your invitation.” Ash remembered and immediately sank in her posture. “And all I could hear, the closer I came, was his--” He paused. “I don’t like the way he was thinking about you.”_

_Ash exhaled sharply. “You can’t just attack someone for their thoughts.”_

_Kylo Ren scoffed. “Can’t I?”_

_She glared in reply. “No, you can’t. It’s an--”_

_He quickly interrupted as he glowered menacingly. “Do **not** say it.”_

_She didn’t. “Regardless, his thoughts are his own and if he wants to think of me a certain way, he can. It’s not my right or your right to change that.”_

_“You might be okay with it, but I’m not.” Kylo said waving her off._

_Ash folded her arms over her chest. “I didn’t grow up knowing I had the ability to be so in tune with others.” It wasn’t a shot at him necessarily, it was truth. “You just don’t understand how to not listen in, I guess.”_

_He narrowed his eyes. “I have discipline, if that’s what you’re inferring to.”_

_“No.” She said. “You don’t have manners.”_

_Kylo huffed, running his hand through his always unnaturally perfect hair as he turned away from Ash, unable to look at her. “Understand this, you’re my apprentice and as my apprentice my job is to keep you safe. Regardless if you think it’s an invasion of privacy to listen in on another person’s thoughts and regardless if you think the exact opposite and that I’m actually here to hurt you.” He said. “I’m still in charge of you, whether you like that fact or not. When you are under my command, you are my responsibility and that means keeping you safe even if it’s just **thoughts** that concern me.”_

_Ash hadn’t thought of it that way. Perhaps some dormant part residing within Kylo Ren really was concerned for her well-being. Perhaps maybe there was some good hiding somewhere in his intentions. She had been burned by these conflicting thoughts before and Kylo was beginning to see her over analyzing everything. “While I appreciate the sentiment--” She finally said, hoping to distract Kylo from wanting to pry further into her mindspace. “I’m still **really** unhappy with you.”_

            _He rolled his eyes as he returned to his original position, looking at the infuriating girl. “Naturally.”_

_“I don’t want to train with you.” Before Kylo could protest, she continued. “I made a promise to you and I will keep that. However, now I need a promise from you. My guys need to feel safe, and if that means putting my foot down then fine. You can’t come around maintenance anymore.”_

_“You are not in a position to make demands, Ash.” Hearing her name coming from him still felt weird for some reason._

_“Listen, you said I was your responsibility to keep safe right?” He hummed in reply. “Well, it’s my responsibility to make them feel safe. If we can keep that agreement, then I will keep training with you.”_

_Kylo glared. “Then you have to train more, I want morning sessions as well.”_

_Ash returned his gaze. “You’re giving me little time to work on StarKiller.”_

_“This is our deal, Ashlyn.” He said. “You either train more with me or I cannot agree to your terms.”_

_She groaned in frustration. “Why is it whenever I get one foot ahead of you, you immediately find a way to turn this into something to benefit you in the long run.”_

_He smirked. “I’m a better negotiator than you.”_

_“This seems more like a hostile takeover.”_

_“You’ve discovered my overall plan; I’m proud.” He mocked. “It only took you nearly four months.” Against her better judgement, she laughed. That quick flash of a smile; the small feeling of her relaxing in turn brought Kylo to relax in some capacity. He hated it yet also relished it to some extent; an extent he’d never admit aloud of course. “I will stay away from your little group of misfits.” He said trying to sound as though he were giving up so much in the process._

_Ash pursed her lips before reaching her hand out to the man in black. “And I will train more with you as long as it doesn’t interfere with my work, otherwise it’s back to my normal schedule.”_

_He looked at her warningly. “You can’t just alter the deal.”_

_“I need some flexibility here. Work with me, Kylo.”_    

_“I am by letting you have any demands at all.” The two stared each other down before Kylo finally groaned as he somewhat reluctantly reached his hand forward and shook Ashlyn’s. “Fine. I promise I won’t take you away too often from your precious StarKiller.”_

_Ash beamed. “Then we have a deal, Commander.”_

_He frowned. “I cannot wait for the day when you’re finally out of my dreams.”_

_“You’d miss me.”_

_“Never.” He was unwillingly grinning._

* * *

  


            That sudden waking feeling was never something she was prepared for. It was jarring sometimes and some of those times she wasn’t ready to leave. However, it was probably for the best after everything that had happened the day before.

            With a slight headache, Ash forced herself out of bed. She knew her deal with Kylo Ren would not take effect just yet, instead, she still had her freedom working with the maintenance crew. Her hesitation was not something she prepared for as she dressed and stared herself down in the mirror. What was becoming of Ashlyn Novafall?

            She almost didn’t recognize herself anymore; granted that could also just be the dark sleep lines forming under her eyes. Ashlyn was becoming something she never thought possible; a Force user. Was that something she even wanted? No, it’s what Kylo Ren wanted. Yet, Ash couldn’t deny a part of her loving the new sensations she was feeling.

            Everything had a life force, everything had a distinct pattern that felt completely different than before. She noticed it more and more and when she trained it only expanded. The underlying feeling of power was intoxicating. Kylo Ren was intoxicating…

           Wait, what was she thinking? Her mind, what was clear only milliseconds earlier, now fogged with panic. What had she meant by intoxicating? No, she wasn’t wrong. There was something about Kylo Ren, something she’d never admit out loud but something she was beginning to internally admit to herself. No matter what had happened almost four months ago, not even the previous day, she found herself forgiving the angry Commander.

           No, she didn’t forgive him, she just **_accepted_** him. It was hard not to, it was hard to stand her ground sometimes. Surely, she was angry with him, but that didn’t stop him from occupying her headspace.

There was something about Kylo Ren that Ashlyn couldn’t quite grasp. There were times he was menacing, cruel and beyond chaotic for her liking. Then there were the times he was protective, sincere and made her feel just a little safer wandering around StarKiller. Ashlyn also knew not many people saw that other side of him and probably lived to tell the tale. She was one in a million and while that should have made her feel special, it really made her feel somewhat nauseous.

            With a slight reluctance Ash dressed for the day, grabbing her work belt and data pad, and made her way to the maintenance bay for her orders. As she walked, she couldn’t help but feel people staring at her. In fact, she could feel the discomfort of those around her as she passed. The tension building as people began to whisper about what had happened the day before.

            Of course there’d be gossip, Ash wouldn’t expect anything less. She just wished she wasn’t directly involved in it. If Kylo Ren had been there, he would have put a stop to it immediately. However, Ash was pretty sure she didn’t **want** him there to begin with. Not after yesterday. If she didn’t have to train with him, she would have avoided him at all cost.

            The whispers and snide comments from Troopers and other various crew members were nothing, however, compared to the look from Grim and the twins as Ash entered Sid’s office. Sid smiled and forced a friendly welcome as Ash stood awkwardly in the room. A feeling of dread and judgement weighing her down. “Alright guys, we’re short handed today.” Sid said. “So I’m going to need us to double up on the hook ups in the main reactor for the solar panels.”

            “You sure we won’t get killed for working with _her?”_ Grim sneered as he mentioned Ash, like her very mention was poison leaving his lips and quickly needed to be removed otherwise he’d die.

Ash sank a bit as Sid immediately stood against the comment. “Hey!” He barked. “Do **_not_** blame Ashlyn for what happened. She had nothing to do with it and you know that. The Commander had an outburst and we don’t know what Taka had done to provoke--”

            “You know he didn’t do nuthin’” Grim said.

Sid narrowed his eyes. “Regardless of your opinion or the opinion of others, we are a team and as a team we stick up for our mates.”

            “Then you should be sticking up for our safety.” Grim argued. “If she’s going to get us killed--”

Before Sid could snap again, Ashlyn finally spoke up. “Listen, I don’t want there to be tension. Not right now.” She said, looking at Grim apologetically then back to Sid. “I’m going to take some time, I think it’s best for everyone I go away for a while.”  

            “You don’t have to do that, Ash.” Sid tried.

Ashlyn forced a smile. “It’s fine. I know we’re all going through a lot now. I think the break would be good, for all of us.” The tense feeling did not dissipate from the room, yet Ash excused herself and quickly made her way out of the office and somewhere far, far away.

 

* * *

 

            “Could you **_please_** stop trying to kill our maintenance crew?” Hux groaned, his head in his hand as he looked visibly pained over the recent development.

Kylo Ren sat back in his chair, arms folded across his chest like a child as he shrugged. “At least it wasn’t Ashlyn this time.”

            Hux scoffed. “ **This** time? How many more times do you plan to murder a crew member?”

Kylo smirked. “As many as it takes.”

            Hux simply glared. “I’m glad you find yourself funny.”

“Hilarious, actually.” Ren quipped.

            Phasma sighed, aggravation in her tone as she spoke. “Are we done yet, children?” The men didn’t respond as Phasma continued. “The archive maps have finally been downloaded, it appears a piece is still missing in regards to the whereabouts of Skywalker. I have scouts on the outer rim looking into any rumor or tall tale they can follow.”

            Kylo shifted uncomfortably. “When is our next interrogation mission?”

“Once I have a reliable source and location.” Phasma said. “Unfortunately, we cannot just send men out on a wild goose chase and come back with nothing. We do not have the time nor resources for that.”

            Hux muttered. “We also don’t have the time or resources to be killing our maintenance workers.” Kylo side-eyed him as he snorted in reply.

Phasma sighed once more. “This is going to be one of **those** meetings, isn’t it?”

            “I was prepared for a productive meeting.” Kylo suggested. “Unfortunately, some of us cannot get over what happened to the very deserving worker.”

“Right, Taka had some naughty thoughts about your girlfriend.” Hux said dryly. “How silly of me to not understand your brash decisions.”

            Ren glared. “She’s not my girlfriend.”

“Could have fooled me.” He spat before quickly looking to Phasma and stopping any retaliation from Kylo Ren. “You train with her today, do you not?”

            “Indeed I do.” Phasma said, suddenly grinning mischievously. “Will you try and kill me if I injure your girlfriend, Ren?” Hux nearly choked on his breath as he let out a booming laughing.

Kylo Ren rolled his eyes. “And here I thought I liked you, Phasma.”

              General Hux wiped the newly formed tears of laughter from under his eyes. “Careful not to think poorly of her either, Phasma.” He added; now Phasma let out a chuckle of her own as Kylo Ren became more visibly agitated.

            Phasma grinned. “I promise not to go _too_ hard on her first day, Ren.”

He caught himself before snapping, his muscles relaxing as he sat back in his chair once more. Kylo Ren shrugged; as though it were the only thing he could do. Even though it fooled no one, he merely shrugged with little to no effort and mumbled. “Do whatever you will.” And that was the end of it. Phasma knew the conversation could have ended much worse and left it ending as just that. She nodded to both men as she stood from her seat. “If you both do not mind, I will take my leave.”

             A hum from Hux and a slightly glare from Kylo, Phasma left the room swiftly. The two men sitting in silence as Hux’s gaze fell onto the Commander; the same man who could also so easily become a child as he sat there, pouting. “You know what I’m going to say.”

            Ren exhaled deeply through his nostrils. “No, I don’t. Please, go on.” His voice dry.

Hux narrowed his eyes. “Commander, you will do well to watch yourself. While you may get away from these things now, there might be a time you won’t.” His tone was different, an unfamiliar expression Kylo had never experienced from Hux. Was it concern? Genuine concern for the well-being of Kylo Ren? Certainly, that couldn’t have been it. Hux was concerned ultimately the fate of the base and in turn what that meant for him. Yet, secretly, Kylo Ren appreciated the heads up.

             He showed as much with an eye roll and groan. “I will attempt to behave.”

“Thank the stars.” Hux grumbled.

            Then, the mischievous smile returned. “Ash won’t be working on the base for a while.”

Hux nearly choked on his breath. “Excuse me?”

              “Fine, she will have time to work on the base. However, she will be training more.” Ren explained with little to no emotion. “Snoke demanded it. She’s progressing at a somewhat alarming rate, which is left without training or control could backfire with repercussions worse than a choked out maintenance worker.”

               Hux’s glare returned. “I cannot help but feel that this was all somehow in your own doing

to ultimately gain.”

            Ren smirked. “Isn’t that _always_ how it happens?”

Hux’s glare did not falter. “Just don’t forget the little people you stepped on along the way.”

            Kylo stood now, his tall stature towering over the sitting General before him as he grabbed his helmet on the table. With a swift motion, he placed the helmet over his head. The voice distortion vibrating as he spoke. “I doubt you’ll forget to remind me.” With that, he immediately left to find the winning pawn in his end-game.

* * *

  


            The cloud of negative emotion that weighed down on Ashlyn as she traveled the halls of StarKiller was enough to drive even the calmest person mad. Ashlyn was not the calmest person in any sense. It was suffocating; everyone knew what had happened by this point and of course, they all believed her to be at fault. That helped no one.

            Maybe it was her fault? Maybe Ash was to blame for what had happened to Taka. In some capacity, she was. Taka had been thinking about her in a way that had caused Kylo Ren to literally lose his mind and attack him. Then again, Kylo lost his mind over the tiniest of things. Taka probably hadn’t been thinking of her too poorly, right?

            It didn’t matter. At the end of the day, whatever Taka had or had not thought, it didn’t matter. Ashlyn still firmly believed that everyone had a right to the privacy of their headspace and that was that. She also not-so-secretly dreaded the moment when she _could_ potentially begin to hear their thoughts. It was already suffocating _feeling_ their emotional status, she already had issues blocking that out. The stars forbid she start hearing things in her head. That would drive anyone crazy. Maybe that’s why Kylo Ren was batshit crazy?

            Ash chuckled to herself at that little thought as she walked to the training room. At least, she’d be safe and alone there.

            Like everything else in Ash’s life as of the past four months, she was wrong. Ash was just completely and utterly wrong as she stared at a very tall, blonde person with their back turned. The person turned; a woman. A very tall woman with shorter blonde hair stared back at her. “Sorry--” Ash quickly said. “I didn’t think anyone would be here today.”

            The woman had a small smile on her lips, one that held sympathy and yet somehow annoyance. “I wasn’t expecting you until after your work on StarKiller. I suppose I should be welcomed to an on-time student.”

            It was then Ash realized the woman standing in the room was not radiating negativity. In fact, she was disturbingly calm. Without thinking, Ash walked more into the room; cautiously. She stared at the woman for a few beats, her mind searching before it finally clicked. _Phasma_. Kylo Ren had mentioned Captain Phasma would be training her in combat. However, Ash was pleasantly surprised that Phasma was a woman. A very _tall_ woman. “Captain Phasma.” She said quickly.

            Phasma sized her up pretty quickly; analyzing the shorter woman in front of her. Surely, Ash was pretty. Her red hair and green eyes being the most stand-out features of her. Yet, something about her, Phasma immediately noticed. She was strong. Not-so-much physically. However, she was mentally strong. That was evident and Phasma was great at reading people. Perhaps that is why Ren had taken such a liking to her? “It’s nice to finally meet the star mechanic. Hux spoke very highly of you.”

            Phasma immediately saw the slightly fall in Ash’s expression. She knew she hit a nerve by not mentioning Kylo Ren’s approval. Granted, she did that on purpose. “I’m just doing my work, nothing too special.”

            She grinned. “Modest, too.” It was almost mocking how her tone came across. “You’re also quite popular among my Troopers, as well as anyone on base today.” Phasma was not one to dance around the subject. It was quite the story of StarKiller.

            Ash frowned slightly as she rocked on her heels. “Listen, Captain. With all due respect, I came here to get away from all that right now.”

Phasma softened up slightly, yet showed no such thing on the outside. “You need to be careful on this base. The dangers around you aren’t exactly the ones most visible.”

            Ash sighed, another person warning her. “Everything was fine until yesterday.” Ash explained. “Kylo Ren is just--” She couldn’t even finish her thought. “He’s a jerk. He does things without thinking about the consequence and takes little to no responsibility.” She was growing visibly agitated. “And now everyone is blaming me for what has happened.”

            Phasma nodded. “I will be honest, I don’t care. Whatever happened is no one's business and it doesn’t matter.” She was blunt and Ash immediately liked that. “We are here to train. All drama is left at the door, is that clear?” Phasma actually smiled just enough to make Ash feel a little better. “Combat training is one of the best ways to clear your head.” Phasma added as she walked over to the far wall, grabbing two staffs and walking back over to Ashlyn. “You’re angry with the Commander, I assume.” She said, handing her the staff.” Ash said nothing as she took the staff from Phasma and held it. “Use that anger in your fighting.”

            “I’m not much of a fighter.” Ash admitted.

“You also were not a Force User when you first arrived and look what happened.” Phasma said, causing Ash to chuckle. “I may not know much about the Force, however, what I _do_ know is the energy you feel when fighting can go hand-in-hand with the Force. Kylo Ren has mentioned at least that much.” Phasma then smirked. “So let’s get started and get your aggression over Kylo Ren out.” Ash was beginning to really like Captain Phasma.

* * *

           

           

            For the next week, Ash continued to avoid Kylo Ren and practically anyone on StarKiller. She woke up as early as possible and made her way down to the training room. She would always arrive before Phasma, which wasn’t really an issue on her part. She took that early morning as a chance to practice from the previous day’s lesson. Phasma was a tough teacher; while as tough as Kylo, she did exert some understanding. Unlike another brooding force living among StarKiller.

            He hadn’t even tried to reach out to her, even when she awoke from horrible nightmares that week. He didn’t both to comfort her. Ash was grateful and yet secretly annoyed at him. She’d never actually admit the latter.

            She noticed the angrier she was at him lately, the chances of her dreaming about the fiery launch bay was more and more likely. An interesting observation she’d share with him another time; a time she wouldn’t be annoyed with him. It seemed so unlikely lately.

            Phasma had made a point to call out Ashlyn on her flaws in combat, however, she also did compliment her. A decent balance compared to Kylo Ren’s teachings. In fact, she delivered her most powerful blows when Phasma would mention Ren as a trigger during their trainings.

            While hilarious to Ashlyn, it also meant her mind was focusing back on Kylo again. Something she really didn’t want to deal with. She didn’t want any of this and yet here she was, right smack in the middle. It was obviously Kylo Ren’s doing and the more time she spent on StarKiller, the more and more she began to realize this little fact.

            Yet, she was feeling a little at peace this week. Granted, she was also the pariah of the maintenance crew. A week away was something she most desperately needed. For once, ignorance was truly bliss. She hadn’t heard of Taka’s well-being, or rather heard from anyone from maintenance. She had hoped that maybe Sid would have come forward, yet he didn’t. No one did. Perhaps, this was for the best. For now, she’d enjoy the peace as she let out her aggression in training sessions with Captain Phasma.

 

            While Ashlyn felt a small sense of clarity, the other Force User occupying StarKiller was not. He had silently agreed to himself that he would leave Ashlyn alone for the week. That and also Phasma may have threatened him well-being if he interfered her first week. Kylo Ren may have been a threat to everyone on StarKiller, but even **_he_** feared Phasma to an extent. Women were scary when in power, he had learned that from his Mother.

            Regardless, Ren was going crazy. Whether it was over the fact that he had no one to bother or he lacked control over the situation as the pawn in his game was ultimately out of his grasp for the week. Sure, he could feel her existence. He could feel the patterns of aggression and tension fluctuate with serenity and peace.

           Disturbingly, he could also begin to feel a **pull** of sorts towards Ashlyn. A need to gravitate towards her position on StarKiller. The girl was messing with his head without even know it; by the stars he hated it. He also knew if Ashlyn understood what she was doing to him, she’d run with it. Kylo Ren also understood he would totally deserve it if that case ever came to light.

           During his time away from Ashlyn, however, he found a new target to harass. General Hux had never hated him more and nearly quit twice hadn’t it been for Phasma to calm down the situation later in the day.

           Phasma had reported a few of her findings during the week to Hux. Most of her findings were carefully articulated to censor a few details that could otherwise prove useful for her later. Yet, all around her reporting was fairly standard. Hux was relieved for most of it, knowing he wouldn’t have to kill his star mechanic just yet. Phasma didn’t have the heart to tell him that she hadn’t been working on the base at all this week. Between that and Ren, she was certain Hux would have a meltdown. However, something different happened at the end of the week. Something that changed Phasma’s mind in her position in all this.

          While Phasma believed Ashlyn had been improving and quickly (knowing that was a Force trait), she still couldn’t understand one thing. Why Ashlyn was so important. She didn’t seem any more interesting or special than any other person. Minus the fact she had some Force abilities. Phasma still couldn’t understand what it was that made Ashlyn so special to cause such a fuss over, especially with Kylo Ren. She understood why Hux cared; Ashyln was saving the base and his neck. But Kylo? He had no stock in anything, why go through all this trouble over the red haired girl?

* * *

 

            The end of the week, Ashlyn practiced her stance in the training room. Phasma had told her she was ‘messy for a Force User’ and needed to be stronger. Feeling defeated and yet ultimately determined. She practiced her stance as well as a few jabs and swings. This was her only time to focus without fearing another staff would whack her in the head (Phasma was very good at what she did).

            With a swing to the left and a jab to the right, Ashlyn found comfort in the wind whizzing past her as the staff moved. Her position strong and stable as her breathing staggered slightly. Sweat beads formed on her forehead as she swung upwards, then with great force, she swung downwards. The metal staff made contact with the mat, ringing and vibrating up the staff and into her arms. The life force surrounding it causing her to have goosebumps as the hair on her arm stood. Closing her eyes, she allowed her senses to be overtaken by the serenity around her; the hum of the large generators in the distance, the sudden darkness in the room. Wait, darkness?

            Her eyes snapped open as her head turned to the doorway. He looked at her; his lip curled up ever so slightly on the right side as he walked further in the room. His helmet secured tightly under his arm as he watched Ash flinch slightly. He stopped moving, relaxing his body to show he meant no harm as he cautiously placed his helmet on the floor. “Relax.” He said. “I came to see you practice. I’m early.”

            Ash frowned. “I thought Phasma told you not this week.”

He let out an airy chuckle as his brow raised at her forward tone. “She did.” Kylo Ren admitted. “However, she also said how well you were progressing. I came to see for myself and as your Master--”

            Ash sighed. “Save it.” She said, repositioning herself. “I have no _Master_ today.”

He was taken back by that, yet wouldn’t allow his face to show it. He stared at her form before realizing her back leg showed a slight weakness. Perhaps that had been his doing by startling her. Regardless, he couldn’t resist correcting her. “You need to have a stronger anchor.” He mentioned in passing as he came closer. He gently tapped her back leg with his. “You’re opening yourself up with a weakness. Your enemy will take advantage.”

            Ash continued to frown as she reluctantly listened to Kylo Ren. She planted her back foot harder into the mat, her posture straightening as she held her staff tightly. “Better?”

“Better.” Ren said as he walked towards the weapons rack. He thought for a moment before grabbing a longer staff of his own and returning to Ashlyn. He stood in front of her, positioning himself to ready for an attack. “Strike me.”

          Ash made a face. “I don’t think that’s a good idea.”

He barred his teeth like a feral beast as he laughed. “You’ve only trained for a week. You truly think you can beat me?”

            She glared then. “No, you’re going to try and hurt me.”

“You’ve learned to defend. Now defend.” He explained as he sharply brought his staff down. Ashlyn was quick to respond by blocking with hers. Their staffs clanging upon contact as Ash felt the pressure and unmeasured strength of Kylo Ren as he pushed down. Unlike fighting with Phasma, this was more ruthless. He wouldn’t go easy, she knew that.

           He suddenly pulled back, whipping the staff around his head with ease before bringing it down again. Ash jumped backwards, barely being missed by the staff as she looked at Kylo in disbelief. “Go easy, Kylo!”

           Kylo smirked. “Your enemy won’t be so kind.”

“It’s my first week!” She exclaimed as Kylo swung again with a little less gusto.

            Ash brought up her staff, blocking the impact with ease. A move that shocked her as Kylo continued to grin. “You’re not giving yourself enough credit.” He teased. “Now, use the Force to your advantage.” He said, pulling back and twirling the staff in his hand. “Try and predict my next move.” He took a moment, preparing his move as Ashlyn braced herself for the worst. He swung around, making quick contact of her arm. Ashlyn immediately yelped in reply; he felt only a little bad. “Focus!” He demanded.

            Ashlyn inhaled deeply, her chest rising and falling as she let her shoulders fall gently. Her eyelids closed, engulfing her in darkness as she focused. Her heartbeat slowing down as she felt it. No, she felt **_him_**. His Force energy radiating with power; a power she was able to harness and hold inside herself as she waited for his move. He swung high, bringing the staff downwards once more. She felt every millisecond and every beat of the staff as it came down towards her. With an invisible breath, she moved swiftly and silently with the Force. The clang of the staffs was what had brought her out of concentration as the vibrations resonated within her entire being this time.

           After a few moments of silence, Ash opened her eyes to see a very pleased look on Kylo

Ren’s face. He pulled back, holding the staff in his hand as one end touched the mat gently. He leaned into it. “See? When you focus with the Force, you can do anything.” Ash found herself smiling just enough to give herself away as she quickly swung her staff at Kylo Ren once more. Not surprisingly, he was ready to stop her as he brought up his staff and stopped her attack. She knew she didn’t overstep her boundaries as Kylo smirked. “Now you’re getting cocky.”

            Ash beamed. “I learned it from you.”

Kylo scoffed, grabbing his staff and pulling back. “Oh, did you now?” He said, his tone sounding playing. Something Ashlyn was not used to in the slightest as he lunged towards her. Ash shrieked, unprepared for the attack as he wrapped the staff around her back and forcing her to his chest. She began laughing now, a real and hearty laugh as Kylo grinned looking down at her. “It seems like I’m a bad influence on you.”

            She continued to laugh as she looked up at him. “No kidding.” Her laughter slowly subsiding when she realized he was still staring at her, like he had been searching for something in her expression. Something he couldn’t see right away but, perhaps if he stared hard enough he’d find it.

            It wasn’t until the other person whom had silently entered the room cleared their throat, he pulled away. “You did well today.” He said, his tone empty of all emotion as he looked over at Phasma. “You can continue training her, I suppose.” Kylo said, dropping the staff on the floor. The thud of the staff sounding much harsher on Ashlyn’s ears as Kylo stormed over to his helmet and picked it up. Without another word, Kylo Ren left the room. Suddenly, Captain Phasma realized just exactly how special Ashlyn really was.

 


	14. And Then It Got Complicated

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ashlyn is very good at finding herself in all the worst situations

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh snap, another chapter! Remember to review and kudos and all that jazz!

* * *

 

           He watched as she sat directly across from him; the way she balanced the three metal balls in the air. Her precision still shaky, yet execution acceptable. He noticed the little give away emotions her face displayed when she lost focus and then tried to focus just a little harder. She was quite amusing to watch lately. Kylo Ren was almost relieved to an extent that Ashlyn had agreed to begin her sessions with him once more. In his mind, this helped get her out of his system. Like a drug, one use and he was good. He was never good with addiction and obsession. “You’re getting better at this.” He mentioned, his tone with a slight boredom yet a hint of pride that his pupil was actually learning something.

         “I’ve had a nice week away from all of this. I needed it.” Ash said, unable to mask her own teasing tone. “I needed to reconnect with myself and get away from you.”

Ren gave her a pointed look. “You missed this, admit it.”

           She grinned. “That would be a lie, and lying is not very becoming of a Force user.”

He snorted as he reluctantly and albeit cautiously agreed. “You do seem more focused today. Have you been meditating like I told you?”

            “I have.” Ash looked passed the metal balls and at the stone face before her. How he seemed to give so little emotion and yet so much all in the same. She wondered if that was something she could sense due to the Force or she really was just getting to know Kylo a little too much. “Besides, I might as well be as focused as possible. I have a bargain to live up to.”

            “A woman true to her word.” He mentioned in passing, his stare intense.

She rolled her eyes. “Relax, Kylo. I am happy to be back at this. It seems to really be helping with the whole sensation overload thing.”

            “If you let the Force control you, you’ll find it much more difficult to get back into a peaceful mindset. The meditation exercises should help.” He reminded her with pursed his lips, taking a moment to pause before addressing the other elephant in the room. “You have not returned to your work on StarKiller. Now, while I’m selfish and enjoy winning our little agreement. The General will not be as pleased once he learns the truth.”

            Ash bit her lip, avoiding his gaze once more and returning her full attention to the metal balls. “I’m giving them time.”

Kylo raised a brown. “Time? It’s been two weeks, Ashlyn.”

            Ash’s voice was small. “Would you think less of me if I said I was scared to face them?”

Kylo scoffed. “It’s not like you did anything to them.”

            “I know, but someone has to take the repercussions of your actions.”

Now he was letting his emotions get the best of him as he glared. “That’s not for you to do.”

            Ash shrugged. “I put Taka in that position, of course it’s my job to try and fix it.”

The metal balls were suddenly ripped from Ashlyn’s control and now jetted across the room thanks to an angry Kylo Ren. She looked at him, not so much with fear in her expression but more shock than anything. “You are not responsible for _his_ actions.” He spat. “You have no obligation to repair any of the damage caused by anyone but yourself. Is that clear?” She didn’t answer. “Is that **_clear_**?” He repeated with a harsher tone.

            “Kylo, you attacked the man for thinking about me.” She reminded him dutifully. “I may not have been the direct cause for it, but it’s still on my conscience. I get you have no conscience, but I do!”

“And you’ll never be a great Force user if you cannot let that go.” He snapped.

            Ashlyn frowned, hating the negative heat that was radiating off the man before her. “Who pissed in your breakfast this morning?”

 He was taken back by that comment as he sat back, letting his shoulders slump slightly. “I’m simply asking you not to take the actions of others to heart.”

            “I get it Kylo, and thank you.” She said, attempting to make peace. Her tone was still stern regardless. “However, I work with a team and we work as a team. I can’t lone wolf everything, like you do. Whatever affects my team, affects me too.” He exhaled deeply, still frowning like a child. She sighed. “They were just scared, okay? It happens. I needed to give them space and I needed space as well.”

            He could feel Ash sink into herself; the way her mood shifted was not only draining on her but himself as he watched her gaze fall to the floor. Forcing a small smile that tugged at the side of his lips, he spoke. His tone light. “I could always talk to them.” He was obviously kidding, yet the reaction of horrified shock from Ashlyn was enough to send him into a fit of laughter. The sudden shift in mood from Kylo Ren immediately sent comfort to Ashlyn as she found herself now laughing with him.

            “That’s not funny.”

“Then why are you laughing?” Kylo asked, grinning wider now.

            She let out an airy sigh, her arms stretching above her as the emotional weight seemed to lift from the room as the two settled in contentment. “I’ll never get used to that.”

 “You will.” He assured her. “It takes time, but you will. Just wait until you start _hearing_ people.”

            Ash huffed. “You keep reminding me of that.”

His mood shifted again, a tone not as dark but still different than the serenity they had been feeling just a moment ago. “You won’t have any lessons for a while.”

            She frowned. “Why not?”

“Phasma and I have been called away on a mission.” He reluctantly admitted. “Perhaps you should try to make amends until we return to continue your training.” He didn’t _really_ want her to make amends with the maintenance crew. In fact, if she didn’t that mean she’d train more with him. He wouldn’t lose there. However, knowing Ash was tearing herself apart over the recent developments on StarKiller that he may, or may not have been directly involved in… well, that was much worse of a guilt trip tugging at his heartstrings.

            Kylo Ren sensed Ashlyn’s own reluctance now, her emotions shifting to something different. Something he hadn’t expected as the girl unknowingly broadcasted her thoughts like she would tend to do. She didn’t want him to leave. Whether she was beginning to enjoy his company or simply saw him as a safety blanket, she didn’t want him to go.”I suppose you’re right.” Ash finally said.

            “I think you’ll be fine without me for a while.” He reassured her. “Besides, your lovable band of misfits can’t do anything right without you.”

Ash laughed. “They are quite lovable.”

             Kylo then frowned, his tone changing. “And since I know you haven’t checked for yourself. And I also know you’re afraid to ask or bring it up.” Ash looked at him with curiosity, where was he going with this. “I didn’t kill him.” He said with the utmost contempt. He wished he had. “He woke up yesterday.”

            Ash let out a small smile. “Thanks, Kylo.” He shrugged, although the feeling of total hatred for Taka still lingered in the air. “I promise I’ll take care of myself while you’re gone.” She raised her right hand. “Scouts honor.”

            Kylo grinned. “We’re done for today.” He nodded to the door. “Go apologize profusely, like I can sense you plan to do.” She smiled that same smile he could kill for, and almost had. That smile that drew him in and yet drained his very being from all sense and reasoning. As he watched Ashlyn leave the training room with a quick wave, and a stumbling ‘see you soon’, Kylo Ren realized now, more than ever… he was in a lot of trouble.

 

* * *

 

            “How many systems are you extending to?” Hux asked, looking at the charts on his datapad, the latest findings laid out before him. By the stars did he hate these charts; Skywalker wasn’t his problem.

“Two, it shouldn’t take us more than two weeks.” Phasma explained as she cleaned her helmet. “We will be taking twenty units, ready for combat.”

            Hux nodded. “And how is our other little issue developing?” Phasma stopped cleaning her helmet, her expression dropping which only caused Hux to panic as he noticed. “They’re planning something, aren’t they?” She said nothing as Hux groaned. “This base is never going to be finished.”

            “I don’t want to report on them anymore.” Phasma finally said.

Hux looked at her incredulously. “What?”

            “They’re not planning anything, at least from what I can tell.” She reassured him with annoyance. “I’d like to continue training Ashlyn and have that be it. That girl needs time away from all the men-folk on this base anyway.”

            Hux was still dumbfounded at Phasma’s sudden change of heart. She was never one to back down from a mission before. This was unlike her. “Then what is it?” He asked.

            She smiled in disbelief as she shook her head. “She’s changing him. It’s so subtle but, she’s changing him for the better.” Phasma said. “And while I firmly believe emotions and any form of compromising situations should be left outside of work and this base… he’s not just our Commander, just as you are not just our General.”

            Hux frowned. “So, what are you saying?”

“I believe Ren would do **_anything_** for Ashlyn.” Phasma worded her sentences carefully. “If we tell the Supreme Leader and he has her killed… I cannot be certain that Ren will not destroy this base.”

            It seemed in that moment, everything clicked in Hux’s mind. While Ren and Phasma were not exactly _friends_ , they were still important parts of his base. They had been there from the start of it; Kylo Ren was an equal when it came to dealing with Snoke. Now, he had the hardest decision to make. Report Phasma’s findings like he should, or keep it hidden for everyone’s sake. He looked at Phasma before nodding sternly. “I will talk with Ren when you both return. This conversation does not leave this room, understand?” Phasma inhaled deeply, relief washing over her as she nodded. The two silently keeping the agreement that this information did not leave the room, and the two also agreeing that if it ever came to light that they knew; they too would also be punished by death.

            Regardless, it was the right thing to do.

* * *

  


            Ashlyn paced the hallway outside of Sid’s office, her breaths sharp and dramatic as she tried to think of different ways to approach this situation. It had been two weeks and like Kylo said, that was plenty of time to let this settle.

            She missed them, they were her family on StarKiller. The first one to welcome her to the base and make her feel at home. This shouldn’t be so hard… yet it was. She hurt them, whether it was indirectly or not. She felt the one to be blamed at the end. If she hadn’t left with Taka, if she hadn’t let him be so comfortable to speak to her that way. Even if she still had no idea what Taka was thinking that set Kylo Ren off. She’d at least convince herself that she didn’t have an idea, anyway. That was a whole other issue in itself that Ashlyn was simply not yet ready for.

            Lost in her thoughts, she wasn’t prepared for the door to Sid’s office open. He had walked out with his datapad in hand, only to stop when he saw Ashlyn standing in the hallway. The two stood silently, staring at each other before Sid looked at his datapad, then back at Ashlyn. “You’re late.” He said, smiling. Ash didn’t know when she started crying, but she had been. It didn’t matter, Sid was already hugging her. “Hey, it’s not your fault, kid. We’re all happy you’re back, I promise.”

            Ash hugged him tightly for a moment before pulling away and wiping the tears from her eyes. “I’m sorry, it’s been a crazy emotional week.” She knew Kylo was probably feeling the pull from her sudden crying. She only prayed he wouldn’t seek her out to find out what the heck was going on. “I wanted to come back sooner.”

            Sid shook his head. “You came back at the right time.”

“How’s the base?”

            Sid sighed. “Falling apart without you.” Ashlyn laughed. “I’m serious! The guys are great at what they do, but man can they not follow direction!” He nodded to the maintenance meeting room. “Come on, let’s go see what they’re up to.” Ash nodded, her stomach swarming with butterflies as the two walked down the hall. Sid, with purpose, walked right into the room and made an announcement. “Alright guys, we are back in business.” He said as Ashlyn walked into the room.

            She saw the twins first, one twin immediately sighed with relief. “Thank the maker, I can’t do this anymore.” Which caused the room to laugh, even Ash smiled.

Grim had made his way to the front of the room; silence took over as everyone waited for what the rather large man would say. Ash stared up at him, ready for the worst. Instead, he smiled. “It’s good to have you back.”

            Ash felt her heart thud in her chest as she found a smile of her own. “I’m happy to be back.” Grim immediately wrapped her up in his arms and hugged her tightly. The twins had gotten up from their seats and now walked over to the two. The maintenance family was back together, well, say for the one maintenance worker who sat silently in the back as he watched the display of affection before him.

            Taka had woken up two days prior from what felt like a never ending nightmare. He kept seeing that mask, the mask with the horrific distortion in his mind. The feeling of choking and suffocating never dissipating. Even then, when Ashlyn entered the room, he began to feel that collapsing feeling.

            He had spoken to Sid, the only person who visited when Taka was awake, about his fears and concerns. Sid, while listening and taking everything into consideration, told Taka it was best to stay away from Ashlyn for a while. He reminded Taka of the possessive nature of upper management, without saying his name directly. Which Taka was grateful for.

            However, he was unsatisfied with that. Why should he be the one to back off? As far as he was concerned, Ash didn’t even **_like_** Kylo Ren. She had said as much many times over. It wasn’t fair and for once, the little guy deserved the push. Not the higher ups.

            But what could a guy like Taka do to a monster like Kylo Ren? Was being near Ashlyn honestly worth his life? Surely, she could keep the monster at bay. Or rather, Taka wanted to believe that. The actual execution of that belief completely irrational as per the bruises on his neck.

            The only relief Taka had in the moment was knowing for the next two weeks or so, he’d have Ashlyn to himself without the fear of being attacked again. Whether it was worth the risk? Well, that was something the jury was still out on.

            Regardless, Taka wanted to win and if that meant taking Ashlyn away from Kylo Ren all-together. He was for it. He was desperate and a desperate man made the worst kind of enemies.

 

* * *

 

            Taka made a move the second day of Ashlyn’s return, mostly due to her being extremely busy and his own reservations. Perhaps this hadn’t been his best plan, but there was no backing out now. Their first interaction involved Taka bringing Ashlyn a canteen of water. She smiled, yet with a hidden reluctance as she took it. Ash was still feeling quite awful for the whole ordeal, which Taka would take to his advantage in speaking with her.

            It wasn’t until the third day, when Ash decided to take her lunch alone, mainly to refocus and meditate. That didn’t last long when an albeit nervous force sat next to her. “Hey.” He said, his voice still a little raspy.

            Ash looked at Taka. “Hey.” She repeated.

“Look, Ash.” Taka began, sighing. “I don’t want things to be awkward between us. I don’t blame you at all for any of what happened.”

            Ashlyn bit her lip. “I’m still _extremely_ sorry it happened, at all. Kylo--” She caught herself. “The Commander is just an unpredictable and unstable force.”

Taka didn’t like how comfortable Ashlyn was when speaking about Kylo Ren. “Well, your time here is almost up. I’m sure you’re relieved you won’t have to deal with him for much longer.”

            Ashlyn nodded slowly, taking into consideration that little fact. She had promised if her training went well, she’d stay longer. Four months ago, she would have been so very eager to leave StarKiller and never look back. Now? She had a family within maintenance. She got along really well with Phasma, her only exposure to another female on base. And then there was Kylo Ren… that jerk. The same guy who tormented her, yet brought out this new experience that she still was unsure if she had been grateful for or completely ruined over. For the first time in a long time, Ashlyn found herself anchoring to a new place and that was terrifying in itself.

            Taka look concerned now. “You’re still leaving in two months, right?”

Ash forced a laugh. “Trying to get rid of me?”

            “No, not at all. In fact, I’d be really ecstatic if you did stay.” Taka fumbled over his words. “But, I don’t like the way the Commander has been treating you. You shouldn’t be meddling with those affairs, your place is here with us.”

            He wasn’t wrong. He wasn’t right either. Ash didn’t really like those odds. “Taka, my training with the Commander will continue.” She said. “He’s teaching me how to control this… _thing_ I can do.” She said, not willing to explain that further. “You guys are my family, don’t ever forget that I’d do anything for you guys.”

            “And I’d--” He corrected himself. “We’d all do anything for you too. That’s why we don’t want to see you in danger. _I_ wouldn’t forgive myself if you got caught up in that circus upstairs.”

            Ash began to feel uncomfortable, now she was actually curious what Taka had been thinking in that moment. She wasn’t stupid, she had an inkling over Taka’s feelings. Heck, she could _feel_ it thanks to the Force. That didn’t make things any less difficult. Sure, Taka was a sweet guy, he was concerned with Ash’s safety and best interests. That was something Ash hadn’t really had for a while. Yet, at the same time, that blaring reminder about Kylo Ren kept flashing in her mind. He was her Master, training her in the Force. That was something she wasn’t sure what that exactly meant. But, it meant something. It meant that Taka couldn’t get close to her, it meant no one could. “Taka--” She sighed.

            “Don’t say anything right now.” He said, his mood changing drastically to defeat as he forced a smile. “I’m just happy you’re back, okay?”

            Ash returned the smile. “Me too.” It wasn’t a lie. She truly was happy to be back with her crew. However, she couldn’t shake this lingering feeling that came from Taka. It was pure, unadulterated anger. Yet, she had a sickening feeling that anger was not directed towards her.

 

* * *

 

            The rest of the week, Taka kept at it. Without being too overbearing, he conversed with Ashlyn, ate lunch with her, and struck up conversations whenever he could. While Ashlyn and the other maintenance workers were just happy that things weren’t awkward, Sid was not sharing in their sentiment. He knew the dangerous waters Taka was wading in. He knew Ashlyn wasn’t the one pushing for it either. He warned Ashlyn for the rest of that week, and any chance he got to be mindful of the situation. She tried, she really tried.

            Sid would be lying however, if he said he wasn’t even just a little bit happy that his team was back together again. He made that very clear during their dinner. The group sat like they used to before Ashlyn began training, laughing and being the more roudier of tables among the dinner rush. The group laughing and conversing like nothing bad had ever happened. Ashlyn felt at peace, she felt the rush of positive energy as the group radiated it.

            When the group retired for the night, Sid had kept close to Ashlyn as they walked towards her apartment. “It’s good to have you back again, kid.” He said sincerely. “We all missed you.”

“I’m really happy to be back.” She wasn’t lying.Things felt like they were falling back in place. Taka hadn’t been too forward, but just enough of a force in her life she enjoyed again. Everyone was falling back into place. Ashlyn wondered how Kylo Ren would shake that up when he returned next week. Though, Ash secretly prayed he’d magically find a way to just get along with everything else in her life. She had found peace with Phasma and Ren when training and she had peace when she was with her crew. If only she could mold them together without anything exploding… or without anyone being nearly suffocated.

            “I know Taka was being a little forward.” Sid was always to the point, he never danced around it. “He seems to have settled down, probably trying to help you feel comfortable again around him.”

Ash nodded. “I do feel comfortable. I feel right being back with everyone.”

            “But you’re still hesitant with us versus your training with the Commander?”

Ash grinned. “You sure you’re not Force Sensitive, Sid?”

            He laughed. “Nah, not my cup of tea. All that mumbo-jumbo is way out of my league. But, I’d like to think I’m perceptive enough to know my team’s needs. It’s also easy to see you’re almost a different person when you’re with us versus them.”

            She sighed, he really was perceptive. “I know, I wish I could have a way to put everything together and find clarity. Working on StarKiller is important to me, but so is this other part of my life. I’m expanding my knowledge on the Force and I know I couldn’t do that without Kylo Ren.” She groaned. “It’s complicated and it doesn’t need to be.”

            Sid thought for a moment. “Maybe it’s just the right amount of complicated and _you_ just need to adjust with it.”

“I just wish he wasn’t so… _hostile_.” Ash said with a nervous laugh. “I think that’s what makes it hard. Everyone fears the Commander, I mean, I guess I do to an extent as well. But, it’s like I have to lead two separate lives now because of the circumstances.”

            “Because of Taka?”

Ash shook her head. “No, this was something that started before that. There’s Ash the mechanic and Ash the Force User and while I’m the same person, I can’t be both all the time.”

            Sid scratched his head. “Maybe you can be.” He said thoughtfully. “Maybe it’s like with all that balancing the Force nonsense, maybe you have to apply that this too.”

Ash gave him a pointed look then. “You really do know more about the Force than you’re letting on, Sid.”

            “I’ve been in more meetings than I care to admit with Hux and Ren and their considerable bickering. It’s brought up more than once, I assure you.”

Ash laughed. “I don’t understand those two.”

            “And hopefully you never will.” Sid joked. “They’re great leaders in their own right, but I swear Ren just enjoys messing with Hux a little too much.”

“I gathered that.” Ash said, the two now stopped outside her apartment. “Sid?” He answered with a hum. “I can’t thank you enough, for all you do and all you’ve done for me. For everyone.”

            Sid blushed. “Ah, c’mon. You’re getting all sentimental on me.” He teased. “Listen, you’re part of the crew. As far as I’m concerned, you’re part of my family now. Now, I know you plan to leave once your work is done, and while I don’t want you to, you should do what’s best for you.” He continued. “But you’re a part of this family, and I’m happy to have met you.”

            Ash was beaming. “You’re a good guy, Sid.”

“Nah, just had a lot of experience around some not so nice people.” He winked. “Go get some sleep, we have a ton of work to finish up this week.”

            Ash simply nodded as she entered her apartment. A smile on her face as she walked over to her bed and fell back on it. She stared up at the grey ceiling as the engines hummed around her. Maybe she had found home? Maybe staying was a good idea? The crew had become her family now; a group of people she could count on. She knew she could also count on Captain Phasma to deliver her unrelenting truths as well as someone who’d listen. Granted, she’d kick Ash’s ass during training, but that’s not the point. For the first time in a long time, after the loss of everyone she held dear, Ashlyn was finding herself opening up again.

            And then there was Kylo Ren. She didn’t know how she felt about him. Some days he was kind; he kept her safe all while being someone she felt close with. Someone she could talk to and find comfort with. The day StarKiller was down, he could have left her to die. Instead, he brought her to his apartment to give her a warm place to stay. He listened to her talk about her past and then tried to distract her with the many planets of the galaxy.

            And then there was the Kylo Ren that teased her, forced her to train in the ways of the Force, oh, and almost killed her once. Yet, all of that seemed to grow less and less significant as the days went by as Ashlyn found herself eager for the week to end and Kylo Ren would come back.

 


	15. And Then The Nightmares Came True

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Everything is awful.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't kill me.
> 
>  
> 
> Remember to leave a comment and/or kudos! Huzzah!

* * *

 

           Kylo Ren was pissed the morning after he returned to the base. He had arrived very late in the evening the night before and knew Ash was asleep. As tempted as he was to go wake her up and annoy her, he didn’t. There was a new day approaching, he would do it then.

            And then he was called into a meeting with Hux to discuss their findings. While they ultimately did not find the piece of the map to Skywalker, they _did_ find a new lead. Normally, he’d be very happy. Yet, he was still pretty moody and Hux knew it. He was also mad that Phasma wasn’t being forced to this meeting too.

            “Supreme Leader will be pleased when he hears of your new lead.” Hux began as he skimmed the reports submitted by Mitaka. “When will you move in on this?”

Kylo exhaled deeply through his nostrils before answering. “As soon as Phasma charts the mission. It’ll probably take a week, maybe two.” Hux nodded as he scrolled through the reports on his datapad. Kylo was getting visibly agitated as he glared at the man next to him. “Is that it, can I go?”

            Hux snapped. “No, you **_cannot_** go.” Ren shifted slightly as Hux sighed, tossing the datapad on the conference room table. “You are aware--” He corrected himself. “No, I’m sure you are **_very_** aware of the danger you’re putting us all in.”

            Now, Kylo was confused. “Danger?” He asked, his brow arched as he waited for the answer.

“I don’t care what you and Ashlyn are doing.” Kylo immediately tried to protest, only to have Hux continue. “I don’t care. But whatever it is, you need to keep it hidden. While Phasma and I may be fine in letting it go on, I cannot say the same for the Supreme Leader.”

            For the first time in a long time, Kylo Ren was the one uncomfortable at a meeting and not Hux. “There’s nothing going on.”

“Phasma saw you two!” Hux sighed, rubbing his temples as he regained his composure. “Again, I do not care. We will keep it covered up as long as you do. Just don’t make it obvious.”

            Kylo rolled his eyes. “She’s my apprentice, we are going to be in what is considered _compromising_ situations when it comes to training.”

“Just remember who you could be bringing down with you.” Hux said, looking at Kylo again. Something in his expression got to him; it was genuine concern and yet an expression of ‘I’d never tell’. He silently appreciated it. “I know you think I abhor you, and quite frankly, some days I do. However, I respect you. Phasma does as well. You could at least consider us within this consequence if things went horribly wrong.”

            Kylo’s lips formed a thin line as he thought about it. While nothing had been going on with Ashlyn, he could see why they’d think that. Then again, did **_he_** even know what was ultimately going on with Ashlyn? He knew he had a duty to protect her, but he also had that same duty to protect Hux and Phasma. “I will work on it.” He begrudgingly agreed.

            Hux sighed, somewhat relief and somewhat pain. “Thank you.” As Hux was about to speak again, he noticed Kylo was suddenly looking ill. He seemed physically pained as his body tensed. “Ren?” He asked as the man across from him suddenly stood and stormed out of the room. The last word on his lips being ‘ _Ashlyn’_. Hux knew in that moment, things were going to get more complicated. Especially when his datapad vibrated as large letters in red appeared across the screen “ **EMERGENCY** ”

       

* * *

 

 

            Ashlyn was feeling good. No, Ashlyn Novafall was feeling great. A smile plastered on her face that seemed like it would never fade. Everything was coming together nicely, with Force training, combat training and now being reunited with her maintenance crew. She was on cloud nine. Yes, that was it, and not the impending return of Kylo Ren.  
            She knew he’d be impressed with her, she meditated like he had asked, and would be proud to know her focus was at it’s peak.

             Something in the way he praised her. Though those times seemed far and few in between, Ash would take those moments with pride and grace. A mental picture of how good things could be, how good he could be. And above all how good he could be to her. Four months ago, his opinion would not have mattered. Granted, his opinion sometimes still didn't. Yet, something was changing and not just inside Ashlyn but also in Kylo. Whether the two wanted to admit it or not. They were smiling more and rarely fought. Okay, they still fought. They fought quite often. However, it didn't feel like they fought as much.   
            She was humming today, which did not go unnoticed by her peers in the launch bay as Ash worked on an engine that had been removed from a nearby TIE fighter. She skipped around, smiled to herself and hummed like no one had been watching. They, of course, had been. And while most of the team attempted to ignore the happiness radiating from their star member, one could not ignore it. Yet, he kept his distance today in fear an angry Kylo Ren would reappear and force choke him again. Even if he was banned from the maintenance deck... like the threatening words of Ash could really keep him at bay. He simply was being good until the urge to be awful kicked in, which ultimately would reach peak naughtiness soon. It was bound to happen.   
            "Hey, Ash!" Sid's voice came from the commlink. "I need a data pad, I left mine in my office. Can you bring me yours? The original schematics for this thing are not something I remember and I'm having issues here with an uncooperative cooling system."  
            Ash laughed. "Sure, Sid. Where are you?"   
"The freighter behind you."  
            Ash turned to see in the distance the black and old freighter in the middle of the launch bay. In that moment, her chest tightened and her legs wouldn't move as she stared at the all too familiar scene before her. As if she had been dreaming, everything began to play out like it had so many times before.   
            Moments ticked by slowly and Ash could feel her pulse in her ears. Thudding and thumping, her heart raced against her chest as the spark grew in the front of the engine compartment. "SID LOOK OUT!" She screamed. No one had time to react as she began running towards the freighter. Ash didn’t make it too far before the freighter exploded.    
            Ash was thrown backwards and landed with a hard thud on the floor of the launch bay. The pulsating in her ears now replaced with ringing as everything in her vision swirled and meshed together. Muffled shouting was heard around her, followed by screaming. The smell of burning metal and engine parts filling her nostrils as she forced herself to sit up.   
            Her head was throbbing now but Ashlyn was determined to try everything in her power to save Sid. She had to save him, she could still hear him screaming in the cockpit of the freighter.   
            Forcing herself to her feet, Ash began to stumble towards the commotion where maintenance and flight crews ran in a panic trying to put out the flames. However, Ashlyn was already being pulled back. Her body being forced away from the burning freighter as she tried to resist and move forward. "I HAVE TO GET SID!" She screamed as she thrashed around yet still being forced back by a much stronger being. "LET ME GET TO HIM!" She tried again, this time tears streaming down her face as he continued to pull her back.   
            "It’s too late, Ash!" He said sternly. "You can't do anything now." She still tried, her body feeling defeat as the cause soon became lost to her. Kylo Ren picked her up bridal style and carried her out of the chaotic launch bay and to his apartment as Ash continued to kick and scream.  
  
            No one had said anything as Kylo Ren carried the yelling and panicking girl to his apartment. He quickly closed the door behind them and walked over to the bed before gently placing Ashlyn down. "I have to go back." She tried angrily, tears still streaming down her cheeks as she argued. "I need to help him!"  
            "He's dead, Ash." His tone was harsh. He didn't know how to make her see otherwise. She wouldn't listen to reason, he knew that.   
 Ash's jaw fell slack as she scrambled for words. "I saw this happen..." She said. "I could have stopped this"  
            "No, you couldn't have. Just like your father and your brother and mother. You couldn't stop it. You can't save everyone."  
 She stopped. Her entire body freezing over his words. He knew he overstepped his boundaries but he had to. He knew he did. Kylo Ren felt awful, ready to apologize. However, what happened next he didn't expect. "Kylo..." She said as she finally broke down into full sobs. Without hesitation he was next to her, pulling her to his chest and holding her tightly as she sobbed uncontrollably. "He's gone. They're all gone" She sobbed.  
            He gently shushed her, rocking her in his arms as he held her close, letting her cry as much as she needed to.   
He felt it. The sheer and utter panic the moment she realized what was happening before her. He didn't even take the time to put on his helmet, he knew Ash would need him. He could feel it. In the seconds that the freighter exploded and Ash saw what was happening, he felt everything. He felt every ounce of pain in every fiber of his being that she was feeling in that moment. He also knew, beyond a shadow of a doubt, he needed to keep her safe. Not just in that moment but always. He'd worry about what Hux had said another day, for now he knew where he was needed. And that was right in this moment, holding the sobbing red haired girl in his arms.

           

  

* * *

 

            Ashlyn had cried herself to sleep, Kylo Ren didn’t have the heart to wake her up. Instead, he laid her down on his bed, pulled the blanket over her and let her sleep. Her eyes were red and puffy from crying, he wished he could just make all the pain she was feeling go away. Even in her sleep, he felt it tugging at his heartstrings. Ashlyn wasn’t like him, she couldn’t detach herself from people like he had done. She still cared, and while that was a problem in his eyes, it’s what made Ashlyn ultimately too good for him. She was a neutral party when it came to the Force, borrowing and taking from both Dark and Light, yet, overall she was a good person. Something he knew nothing about. Maybe when he was younger he did, but not at this point in his life. However, he did care about one thing just a little bit more than his plan for taking over the base… and that was her. He hated it.

            He sat on the couch, his eyes falling back to Ashlyn every so often as he lost himself in thought. Kylo wondered how his Mother would be right now had she known the feelings that were tearing at his insides. She’d tell him ‘I told you so’, she always believed he wasn’t a monster. He refused to accept that. Regardless, she’d be relishing in the fact that he’d been wrong about not caring for anything.

            Perhaps he had been wrong about a lot of things; between what Hux had said and what his Mother had always told him. Maybe things were more complicated than he realized.

He felt her stir on the bed next to him, slowly he removed himself from the couch and over to the bed. Kylo carefully sat down on the very edge of the bed by her feet, waiting for her to wake up. When she did, she blinked a few times. He could sense her confusion as it quickly turned into contentment as she settled in.

            “Ashlyn?” His voice was the softest she had ever heard from him. She couldn’t speak, instead, she began to cry again. Her heart ached; why Sid? Of all people, why him? He held the base together, he held the team together.

            Kylo Ren felt the pain tugging at her again because ultimately, it tugged at him too. With a long exhale, he did the only thing he could think to do. He crawled into the bed behind Ashlyn, wrapped his arm around her midsection and held her close to his body as she continued to sob.

            No matter what she did, it seemed like the people she cared for most, she’d see their deaths before it happened. Her nightmares were Force dreams, and the most she came to understand it, the more she hated it. She could still picture their faces, her Father’s, her Mother’s, her little brother. He was so young, full of life and taken too soon. Now Sid. She felt useless and worst of all, she felt somewhat responsible. Ash had seen these unfortunate tragedies before they came to light and did nothing. She couldn’t do anything and she knew that. Yet, the feeling of not being able to was more than suffocating. Everything was falling apart and Ashlyn felt like she was collapsing.

 

* * *

 

          She had woken up very late in the evening, her eyes adjusting to the night as she looked around the familiar apartment covered in darkness. Ash stretched her legs, hearing a light crack from being curled up in one position for so long, and slowly sat up. She was exhausted despite being asleep for so long; it was more mentally than anything.

          Everything was silent around her, say for the crackle of the fireplace to her right and the gentle hum that seemed a little less comforting today. She knew Kylo Ren was awake, she could feel his energy somewhere in the apartment. This was only confirmed when he exited the bathroom, his hair wet from having just showered. He had trouble sleeping as well; with Ashlyn in the state she was in, he couldn’t simply sleep. Instead, he stayed awake until she needed him again. He had freshened up thinking Ashlyn would be out for a while longer, and looked pleasantly surprised when he saw her sitting on the edge of his bed. Any other day, he knew Ash would have freaked out over his lack of shirt, while he’d love to watch her squirm, this was not the time. “Hey.” She said quietly, sending all sorts of confusion and concern at the other Force user. He couldn’t read what she was feeling, it was almost like a wall was between them.

          “Hey.” He replied in a cautious tone.

After a few moments of silence, Ashlyn was the first to speak. “I’m sorry, I should probably go.”

            “I’d rather you didn’t.” He said, causing Ashlyn to look up at him again and very unsure what he meant. “I can’t watch you if you’re on your own.” A disappointing answer but she understood. After a moment, she nodded. He was right, she was in no state to take care of herself right now. She needed to be, she had done this song and dance what felt like one too many times before. It never got easier. “I have something for you.” He said, drawing Ash out of her thought as he walked over to the bookshelf. He skimmed for a moment before grabbing a rather old book that seemed to be breaking at it’s bindings. With purpose, he walked back over to Ashlyn and sat down next to her on the bed. “I think this might be helpful in your trainings.” Ash couldn’t make out what the letters on the front said, they weren’t any language she could immediately recognize. “It’s a book by a very old and dated creature, but he was somewhat smart when it came to the Force, especially for those who learn later in life.”

            She exhaled through her nostrils as she looked at the book. “You didn’t think this would have been helpful when I first started training?”

He smirked. “I wanted to see you suffer a little first.” He teased, hoping she’d smile a little bit. She didn’t, but her mood shifted slightly to a quick positive pulse before ultimately turning dark again.

             Ash gently took the book and placed it on her lap, opening it and flipping through it’s contents. “Thank you, Kylo.” She closed the book, keeping it securely on her lap. “It’s funny--” She said. “Whenever I fall asleep in this room, we never have our shared dreams.”

            “I suppose that solves it then.” He said. “You’ll just have to sleep in my room in order to keep you out of my dreams.” He was kidding.

A small smile appeared, small enough to make all the difference to either of them, and as quickly as it appeared it was gone. “I’m tired of watching all my loved ones die and not being able to do anything.”

           “No one can stop death, Ashlyn.” Kylo said before taking back his statement. “Well, there was one who could. However, he was deep in the Dark Side. He utilized it to a certain depth that even I couldn’t fathom delving into.”

            Ash pursed her lips. “Why not? It seems like the Dark Side has all the power. Isn’t that what you want?”

“To an extent.” He said. “The Dark Side may be powerful, but it also seduces those who use it. They are blinded by it. So in the end, is it really all that powerful?”

            “What about the other side?”

He snorted. “The Light Side?”

            “Don’t mock me, I’ve had a rough day.” She said sternly.

He rolled his eyes before continuing. “The Light also has its weaknesses. It’s better to find a balance between both.”

            Ash nodded. “Do you balance them?”

Kylo shrugged. “Sometimes. I tend to draw my power from anger, which is more of a Dark Side idea.”

            “What about me?” She asked.

“You?” He thought for a moment, trying to pinpoint exactly what Ashlyn was. He had thought about it often, she was a borrow of both yet not perfectly balanced either. “You have no true side, you channel what you need even when you don’t understand what you need.”

            “I apparently don’t understand a lot.” She said.

“You will.” He reassured her.

            She stretched her arms above her head, feeling her spine stretch felt so good on her body. “Will every dream I have come true?” She asked.

Kylo thought for a moment. “Not necessarily. Sometimes they can be warnings, other times they’re definite. Unfortunately, I can’t really give you a clear answer.”

            Ash sighed, defeated in her own right. “The Force is awful.”

Kylo chuckled. “It can be.” He looked at her, noticing just how exhausted she still looked. It had been barely two days and she was so torn up. He wished he could just make it go away, for both their sakes. He couldn’t and he knew that. “That’s why I’m going to help you control it.”

            “I just feel so weak; I couldn’t help them.” She said sadly. “Whenever I close my eyes, I still see it happening.”

“You’ll learn to be stronger than that; one day you’ll have more control over your emotions and the emotional drain when something like this happens. I have no doubt you’re feeling not just your own sadness, but other’s as well.” He explained. “For now, it’s okay to feel weak.” Ash said nothing, as she pulled her knees to her chest. She was exhausted, mentally and physically at this point. She needed this time to grieve, along with everyone else that knew Sid. It seemed so surreal that he was gone so suddenly, she expected him to send her a snarky message on her datapad any minute now. Of course, it would never happen. Not anymore. “You should rest.” Kylo said, removing himself from the bed.

            “Kylo?” He stopped, looking down at the vulnerable red head on his bed; she looked so small being curled up as she sat there. “I don’t want you to take this the wrong way but--”

She didn’t have to say it as he exhaled deeply before giving a quick nod. “Let me just get dressed. I’m sure that would be more comforting.”

             He walked away and towards his wardrobe, where he grabbed a loose fitting black shirt, _of course it was black,_ Ashlyn thought to herself as she turned on her side and laid back down on the bed. Her gaze stayed on the man, who was back over to the bed almost as quickly as he left. Silently, he climbed over the girl and laid down next to her, wrapping his arm around her midsection and pulling her to his chest. He felt Ashlyn relax against him, and soon fall asleep all-together. The much welcomed dreamless sleep washing over her as the two slept the best they had in such a very long time.

           

 


	16. Returning To Somewhat Normal

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things get chaotic

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Enjoy the stuff! Remember to leave a comment and kudos!

 

* * *

         

 

            While the state of Ashlyn Novafall was in question, the base needed to continue. Kylo Ren reluctantly agreed to that as he dressed for the day. Ashlyn barely moved for three days from his bed, forget even thinking about leaving the apartment. While he didn’t mind her presence in his apartment, he did mind her crumbling state. That was something he’d never wanted to see her deal with. Yet, here they were and he was one of the only people who could ever understand what it felt like. She saw someone die repeatedly for weeks, yet had no idea it would have been Sid all along. Sid, someone even Kylo Ren didn’t mind existed.

            The two did not bring up the previous night or the fact that they slept the best they had in four months. Kylo Ren knew if Hux ever found out, he’d never live it down… or forgive him for doing the _exact_ opposite of keeping suspicions down. Granted, how they could play off this ‘sleepover’ as another other than suspicious was already an issue. Maybe he’ll just make up something about the Force and make it sound complicated. That could work. Regardless, he had other things to worry about as well as the red head on his bed.      

            He walked over to the bed, noticing her eyes were closed. He knew she wasn’t asleep, but said nothing about it as he spoke. “I have to go meet with Hux and a few other department leaders over the events of the other day. Hux had asked you’d join too, don’t feel obligated. We just need to discuss the future state of the maintenance department, I’ll fill you in later. Please eat something.” He said, keeping all emotion in check before ultimately leaving Ash alone and headed for the conference room.

 

            A few moments after Kylo Ren left, Ashlyn forced herself to sit up. She swallowed hard, her throat aching from having cried so much in the last two days. She had so much on her mind right now, between Sid, how the crew was holding up and her current sleeping arrangements. Ashlyn’s mind couldn’t process it all. However, Ashlyn determined it was better to try and focus on the one thing she could control right now, and that was seeing how the crew was.

            She didn’t care how she looked, or that her body ached as though she went through a trash compactor. There were more important things to be concerned about right now than the stares coming from a few Troopers and StarKiller personnel as she exited Kylo Ren’s apartment and stumbled down the hall.

            The maintenance bay was dead silent as she wandered around, trying to find any signs of life among her team. She stopped in front of Sid’s office door, staring at it for what felt like the longest time. It wasn’t fair. Sid shouldn’t be gone, the feeling of guilt taking over once more as she inhaled deeply and opened the door.

            Upon entering, she saw the very solemn group sitting in the office. They looked up at Ashlyn, saying nothing as she stared back. Nothing needed to be said, they all felt it. Ashlyn felt their sorrow, they didn’t need to be Force Sensitive to feel hers as the group came together and hugged. Ashlyn didn’t hold back her tears this time. She knew what needed to be done going forward.

* * *

  


            The meeting was exactly what Kylo Ren didn’t want to deal with; no one did. The room was quiet as Hux looked to Kylo Ren with a hopeful look. “Ashlyn?” He asked. Kylo just shook his head, Hux understood. “Well, it’s unfortunate that I have to call this meeting. I’m sure you’re all aware of what happened in Launch Bay A to Sid.” The group said nothing as Hux continued. “We need a plan of action to continue on. Our first move to figure a reliable replacement--” With that, the door to the conference room opened. The red head with the sad expression walked in, she looked at the group. Everyone had the same expression; shock. “Ms. Novafall.” Hux said as Ashlyn found the closest empty seat and sat.

            Her gaze was forward as Hux continued the meeting, she avoided the helmeted man on the opposite side of the table. ‘ _Are you sure you want to be here?’_

‘ _I have to for Sid.’_ She said. ‘ _They’re my family too.’_ He had heard that sentiment from her before, and even in her mind it was just as strong as if she spoke it. He’d never understand her attachment to that wretched crew.

            “We will discuss a future replacement. Currently, Ashlyn is on an agreement plan and set to return to her--”

            “No.” Ashlyn interrupted, her voice shook ever so slightly. Only Kylo really caught it. “I’ll be staying.” She added, looking at Hux whom slowly began to find some relief to all this. “I’ll take over for Sid. I know the base; the guys. I can do it.”

            Hux looked to the rest of the group, unable to see the tension in Kylo Ren’s face. “I can see no reason why not.” Kylo Ren could, but he also knew better than to speak up now. He already overstepped so many boundaries by having Ash stay in his apartment, the last thing he needed was to express more concern for the girl. Thank the stars no one could read _his_ thoughts.

            From what Kylo understood, Ashlyn had a habit of overworking herself when things got tough. Things were way beyond tough; she would work herself to death if she could. It helped her forget, it helped her cope. He wouldn’t allow that, he was going to push her through this without her killing herself. His plan depended on her; although he’d never admit that he wasn’t so actively working towards the goal in the exact moment.

             When the meeting was ultimately dismissed, Ashlyn was one of the last occupants to leave the meeting room. It didn’t take long for her to hear the angry boots clashing with the ground to let her know his true feelings on the matter. She didn’t need to be Force Sensitive for that, however in that moment, she wish she hadn’t been as he caught up to her. His helmet was now on, she knew it was more so to give off the intimidating persona he strived for. Granted, he never really needed to work too hard for that. The base feared him. “I think you need to reconsider your position for now.” The distortion harsh on her hears.

            “Funny, I thought you’d be happy to know I’d be staying on base permanently.”

            “Believe me, I am more than happy to have more time to torture you--” He said, causing Ash to snort in reply. “But I cannot do so if you work yourself to death.”

            Ash pursed her lips. “That won’t happen.”

“Won’t it?” He retorted. “You forget, I can tell when you’re lying.”

            “And you can also tell when I’m not happy with you.” She said dryly.

             Luckily for him, Ash couldn’t see the eye roll. “And what, may I ask, have I done to you now to deserve such apathy?”

            Ash sighed, now feeling just enough remorse to really broadcast her feelings on the matter. “It’s not you--” She began. “I just need you to trust me on this one.”

            “As you wish.” Kylo Ren reluctantly gave in. “Only until you start to overwork yourself. Then I’m interfering.”

            “Deal.” She said. “I know you won’t be happy to hear this, but, I need to give more time to StarKiller for a while.” Kylo Ren gave her a look, she couldn’t see it, but boy could she **_feel_** it. “Listen, I’m not overworking myself. I just need to get things back up and running. Once I balance it, we can figure out my Force training nonsense.”

            He snorted. “It’s not nonsense.”

Ash audibly groaned in reply as she flailed her arms in the air. “You are single-handedly the most impossible person on base, I hope you know that.” She said, trying to walk faster. Unfortunately for Ash, her short legs didn’t take her as far as Kylo Ren’s longer ones as he kept in pace for a few moments before Ash finally sprinted. His distorted chuckles echoing down the hall as she disappeared down it.

 

* * *

 

            Then the nightmares started. For the next week, while Ashlyn was being briefed to everything on StarKiller, except for the weapon (Hux believed now was not the time to mention it), so she could fill in Sid’s shoes. Her team needed a leader, while she could never replace Sid, she was going to at least get the team where they needed to be. She still hadn’t told Laynor her new plan. In all honesty, she was reluctant to. He had been somewhat of a mentor to her, he had kept her safe all these years. Now, she was leaving for good.

            To add to her problems that week, she couldn’t escape the nightmares that came with Sid’s passing. Every night Ashlyn found herself suddenly waking in a cold sweat as the memory of Sid dying invaded her dreams. She was losing sleep and sanity all at once. It was becoming increasingly noticeable as Ashlyn showed up to work every morning with dark circles forming around her eyes, her focus was completely off; the team began to worry. Even in the larger group meetings with Hux and the logistics team leaders, he was noticing Ashlyn dozing off in their meetings. While frustrating, it was also very concerning.

            She wasn’t the only one suffering at her own hand. The other Force User on base was growing increasingly irritable due to Ashlyn’s lack of sleep. If she didn’t sleep, he didn’t either. Every nightmare, every thought and concern, he felt it. She was interfering with his own sleep schedule and far worse than their shared dreams. In fact, their shared dreams would have been a welcomed change this week. Instead, he got to “enjoy” Ashlyn’s nightmares just as much as she did.        

            “Nightmares?” It wasn’t so much as a question as Hux tried to understand better as he and Kylo Ren walked to the cavern entrance that lead to the Supreme Leader. “I’ll never understand your Force Sensitivity, but if it’s affecting both of you--”

            “It’s not.” Kylo snapped, realizing just how childish that sounded before exhaling deeply through his nostrils. “Even with training, Ashlyn manages to find ways around what I’ve taught her by either blatantly ignoring it, or the combination of her past along with this new understanding has caused her to have _out-of-control_ moments.”

            Hux nodded. “Well, you need to fix it.” Kylo glared at him. “She’s _your_ responsibility. If I could fix it, I would.”

            “I can’t make her stop dreaming.”

“Figure it out. The Supreme Leader is not going to be happy when he sees right through you. He’s going to feel your exhaustion.”

            Ren smirked. “And you say you don’t understand the Force.”

Hux rolled his eyes. “I understand only enough to get me by when reprimanding you. Which _hardly_ ever seems to work. You do what you want anyway.”

            “You’re learning.”

“And you’re impossible.” Hux retorted, only to have Kylo snort and unable to hide his now wider grin. “What is it?” Hux was slightly concerned at the mood shift.

            “This is the second time this week someone has called me ‘impossible’.” He said somewhat fondly. “Regardless, Ashlyn asked me to let her settle in with her new responsibilities before we begin training again.”

            “Perhaps you should shorten that timeframe.”

“Perhaps I should.” Ren said smugly as the two stood outside the cavern entrance, reluctantly taking one final breath before entering the cavern.

 

            Snoke was a Force User as well and a powerful one at that. However, Kylo Ren knew with the raw power he had been born with, he was ultimately stronger than Snoke. Yet, he still obeyed his every whim and command. Someday, he’d have the upper hand and with the help of Ashlyn, he could take down Snoke. While Snoke took him in and unlocked the unlimited power that he contained, he still didn’t like to be kept on a leash. Granted, the leash was fairly loose compared to the governing counterpart to his left.

            His plan to have Ashlyn be his second in command when it came to taking down Snoke was still a number one priority. Even in Ashlyn’s current state, he knew she would overcome it. She had done so before with her family, she could do it again. He just had to get her in the right mindset and really utilize her Force Abilities. Yet, the Force always had certain plans for everyone and Ashlyn was no exception to that rule. While she may have not been radiating power like Kylo Ren was, she had something special. Her Force dreams, although a curse in her mind, would prove to be rather useful. Especially now that the more she unlocked her gift, the more they’d come. It was the only way he could potentially see any disruptions coming to his ultimate goal, if any.

            Ashlyn’s cooperation was another matter entirely. Although she’d be heavily opposed to the idea of being used, it was better to keep her in the dark for now. Ash had a _problem_ when it came to broadcasting her thoughts.While that made Kylo’s life easier when trying to decypher what the heck was going on in that head of hers, it also gave him a great headache.

            Then there was the matter of her alliance. Ashlyn was not so black and white when it came to using her Force gifts. She was an overall good person, a heck of a lot better than he could ever be, yet she channeled so much of a neutral ground it was hard to find her focus at times. While this was ideal for any Force User in order to balance their power, it typically helped understanding what side they ultimately gained their strength from. Ashlyn was all over the page because of course she was. It couldn’t be easy for Kylo. Ashlyn Novafall was anything but easy.

            The final and more aggravating matter of it all was that Kylo Ren cared just enough to be a problem. Overall, Ashlyn’s well-being mattered to him and while he tried to convince himself that her well-being was simply just to have the upper hand in his overall goal… it was also blatantly obvious that he was becoming more and more fond of the girl. It sickened him and yet was oddly comforting in the long run. She made him feel more human, she didn’t simply let him get away with anything. While annoying to have a force before him that blocked his motives at times, it was refreshing to have someone make him rethink his stance.

            The issue still stood, however, Ashlyn Novafall was quite the nuisance when she wasn’t sleeping and he truly did need to find a viable solution. Even if it meant submitting to drastic measures. The overall distraction during the Supreme Leader’s debriefing only confirmed that.

 

* * *

 

            Ashlyn’s eyes were closed as her head rested on a disconnected solar panel that sat off to the side of the main reactor. She began to doze off as her body finally relaxed, the much needed sleep coming to her as her maintenance team watched from afar.

            The majority of response from the team over their new leader was mainly positive. They were happy that Ashlyn was staying, they just wished it was under better circumstances. The team was still trying to rebuild and recover from the events earlier in the week. Everyone was at a loss and no one really knew how to bring the team together the way Sid did. Yet, the crew had faith if anyone could do the job, it was Ash. However, they too had noticed Ashlyn’s slow decline into madness over her lack of sleep. She tried so hard to make a seamless transition into their leader, yet still had so much going on below the surface. The crew knew she was battling with a lot, they just didn’t really know _how_ much.

           “She’s finally going to sleep.” Taka noted.

Grim shook his head. “She’ll wake up almost as quickly as she passed out.” Grim said. “Nightmares.”

            Taka looked at him. “Nightmares? Is that it?”

“My room is two away from hers and I can hear her.” Grim added. “I know what night terrors sound like. She’s got ‘em.”

            “So she’s not sleeping at all?” Taka asked, returning his attention to their new leader.

“She wanders the maintenance bay; can’t sleep. I don’t blame her, but she better get over it soon. Not sleeping could cause fatal mistakes here.”

            “Maybe we should give her the day off?” One of the twins suggested.

            Grim just shrugged. “We could, but she might not sleep anyway.” With that, a yelp came from across the station as Ashlyn sat up with a start. Her breathing heavy as she looked around the room, realizing what had happened before looking completely embarrassed as she tried to make it look like none of that had actually happened. “Let’s just hope the Commander doesn’t show up.”

            Taka grimaced. “Why would he show up?”

“I’m sure he knows when she’s having nightmares.” Grim explained thoughtfully.

            “Well, he’s not allowed here. Ashlyn made it so.” Taka scrambled quickly as Grim smirked.

            “You think that’ll stop him?” Grim answered as Taka began to look visibly ill as the group watched Ashlyn awkwardly scramble to clean up her little nap area. “Let’s finish up here, guys.” Grim said in passing as he wandered over to his work station.

           

            It didn’t take long for Grim to be proven correct as the tall man dressed in all black stormed into the work sight. Taka nearly scrambling over himself as he rushed out of view to hide. Of course, that didn’t go unnoticed by Kylo Ren as he smirked under his helmet, completely and utterly pleased with himself over it as he walked over to the now frowning Ashlyn.

            “Didn’t I say you couldn’t come down here?” She said with a warning tone.

            “And did I not say you were not allowed to overwork yourself?”

            Ash frowned. “I’m not.”

“No, but you **_are_** driving me crazy with your little situation.” Ash looked visibly confused as Kylo explained further with utter annoyance in his tone. “Your dreams?”

            Ash blushed slightly. “You’re feeling them too?”

“You may be content with not sleeping, but I am not.” He said, his helmet making him sound more intimidating than intended. “Now I’m being dragged into mending this problem for both our sakes.”

            She sighed, deflating slightly in her stance as she folded her arms across her chest. “Alright then, all-mighty-one.” She said. “What do I do to fix it?”

            “Obviously, your methods are not working.” He said, receiving an eyeroll in reply. “I have a solution. One that has proven to work before, and yet you are not going to like it.”

            “The last time you said that--”

Kylo Ren interrupted her. “I know, I know. Now hear me out.” Ash waited impatiently as he continued. “You slept better, we both did, when you were in my apartment.”

            “Oh no.” She started. “That is **not** happening.”

“You won’t even attempt to try and get some sleep?” He asked skeptically. “You’d rather us continue to be miserable.”

            “Yes.” Ashlyn was stubborn. “I will eventually fall asleep on my own.”

“And if you don’t?”

            She shrugged. “Then I won’t!” A childish answer, but necessary in her mind as she argued. Maybe she really was exhausted.

            “Fine, keep us awake.” Kylo returned her attitude. “Just remember, my supposed _impossible_ standard will only get worse the less sleep I get.” With that, he stormed out of the working area, leaving fear in his wake from the maintenance team. Everyone except Ashlyn, of course.

 

* * *

 

            She wasn’t going to give in that easy. It didn’t matter if Kylo Ren had a point or not, she hated when he was right. Ashlyn lied in her bed, staring up at the ceiling. Lights from outside the base barely illuminated the room, the blinds leaving a design on the darkened ceiling. She began to count the lines; ten. _Well, that was easy._ She thought to herself.

            ‘ _My offer still stands.’_ Ashlyn heard in her head. Of course he had been listening.

           ‘ _Not happening.’_ She said, shifting in her bed as she forced her eyes closed. Her mind focused on the light hum from the engines below, something she normally found comforting and welcoming. However, tonight they were actually quite loud and obnoxious. Ash did not find anything soothing about them. She had a lot on her mind and no relief in sight to find a stable focus. All Ashlyn Novafall wanted was sleep and it looked like she wouldn't get such relief.  
            Tossing and turning, her mind was full of everything and anything to keep herself awake. She took the covers off, feeling herself too hot, only to then put them back on once the cold returned.

           The base was quieting down as many had gone to bed now. Barely any movement had been heard above her or around her as hours seemed to pass so easily and yet Ashlyn still had not slept. Finally, after seemingly forever, she begrudgingly left the safety of her bed and left her apartment. She gave in.

  
            The door slid open, he was already standing there, leaning up the frame of the door. A sly smirk playing on his lips as he eyed the annoyed girl in front of him. "Don't say anything." She warned as he moved aside to let her in.   
            Raising his hands defensively. "Not a word." He was mocking her playfully as the door shut behind him. "Think of it this way, now we both can sleep" he said as he watched her crash onto his bed with a groan, he was quite amused as he walked over and carefully climbed into the bed next to her. She was lying with her against the wall as much as possible, curled up the blanket as she watched him cautiously. With a sigh, his body relaxed as he returned her look. "What is it now?"  
            She frowned, unsure if she liked the feeling of safety and comfort from him. At the same time, she wasn't even sure she cared. "This isn't going to be a regular occurrence."  
            He snorted. "Go to sleep, Ashlyn."   
She rolled over, her eyes scanning the wall for any sign of imperfection and finding none. Her mind hadn't calmed down to help her sleep. It wasn't until she fully gave in. What other choice had she? "Hey, Kylo?" She didn't have to say anything more as his arm draped around her waist and pulling her smaller frame to his chest. Finally, Ashlyn relaxed.

 

* * *

 

            The dreamless sleep was more than welcomed, it helped both Force Users find some serenity after a long and draining battle against sleep. Granted, it was Ashlyn’s fault on that front. If she had only found that solution earlier this wouldn’t have been so bad. Regardless, it didn’t matter now. What mattered now was the fact that Ashlyn was still in Kylo Ren’s apartment, lying in his bed no less, and was cuddling up into his side. Her next moves she’d have to plan carefully, did she panic and alert the man next to her of her panicking state. Ultimately, this would cause in for some ruthless teasing from said man. Or did she play it off like it was no big deal and pull away.

            His arm simply tightened around her back, forcing her into his side more as he said with a groggy voice. “Your thoughts are quite annoying to wake up to.”

            She groaned. “I guess that solves my internal debate then.” She said, trying to pull away only to be met with resistance from his end. He wouldn’t let her get away that easy. “Let go!” Ash tried to roll away again.

            “Five more minutes, this is the most sleep I’ve had in ages.” He was smirking, his eyes still closed as Ashlyn glared up at him. He was doing this on purpose, of course. With another aggravated groan, Ash wiggled her way out of Kylo Ren’s grasp and sat up on the bed. The blanket still on her lower half as she stretched. He opened his eyes now as he placed his hands behind his head. “Feel better?” He asked, knowing the answer.

            “I suppose.” Ash said, trying not to give him the satisfaction as she bit her lip. “We still haven’t figured out why we don’t share dreams if we are sleeping in the same room.”

            “I, for one, am relieved.” He said. “Maybe you should sleep here all the time.”

Ash scoffed. “No thanks.” She said. “I told you last night, this isn’t going to be happening again.”

            He smirked mischievously. “I think it will.” With that, Kylo Ren sat up. His hands running through his black locks, Ash watched his hair fall back in place perfectly. She assume his hair was just ridiculously perfect due to a Force thing. Then again, her red hair was a mess this morning. “You should return to training today. Your focus is completely off.” Kylo said in passing.

            Ash smiled sweetly. “You spent the night with me and you still want to spend time with me? That’s so sweet.” She teased.

            He snorted, rolling his eyes as he slowly got off his bed. “Perhaps we have been spending too much time together, you’re starting to sound like me.”

           Ash stretched again. “I’m going to actually agree with you on this one.” She said. “I _should_ train. I feel so out of sync.” She said, making a face. “Like everything is cloudy.”

            “Understandably.” He said in earnest. “You’ve had an interesting week.”

           Ash deflated slightly as she pulled her knees to her chest. Her mind wandering back to Sid, like it had done so many times since his death. She missed him terribly, he was the voice of reason that kept her grounded during all the chaos on StarKiller. He was so simply ripped away from her, it felt like she was reliving the death of her family all over again. So easily everyone seemed to come and go in her life. What made things worse is _knowing_ the end was coming and simply waiting for the other shoe to drop. It never made it any easier. “For once--” She began. “I’d like a positive Force vision.”

            He chuckled softly as he walked to the bathroom. “That would be a nice change.”

           “I suppose I should also inform Laynor that I won’t be returning.” It was more of a reminder to herself than anything as she put her head on her knees. “There’s just so much to do and so little time.”

            Kylo returned from the bathroom, completely dressed now as he looked at the girl on his bed. “Which is why you’re taking the day to train.”

            She sighed. “Right, Laynor can wait. Everything else can wait for a while.” Kylo Ren was pleased with that notion as Ash finally scooted off the man’s bed. She looked at him, narrowing her eyes as she reiterated her stance on the matter. “This still isn’t happen again.”

            He smirked. “We’ll see.” Ash said nothing as she left the apartment quickly to return to hers. She needed to shower and wash off the feeling of lying next to Kylo Ren before training with him. Still, Ash had a pit forming in her stomach deep down that maybe Kylo Ren was right in assuming that this wouldn’t be the last time. She hated it.

* * *

  


            Ashlyn had agreed on training again, feeling much more up to the task than the previous week. She still worked on StarKiller in the mornings and in the afternoon she trained with Phasma on her combat skills and in the evenings she’d spend that time with Kylo. Slowly, this brought her focus back in check. She was even beginning to tune into the emotions around her again. This time, it didn’t feel as much of a drain. Kylo had said it was due to her growing with the Force and that she should be proud. She was. With the project on StarKiller slowly moving closer to completion and Ashlyn growing stronger with the Force, things were pretty okay.

            However, she would never admit that a lot of it had to do with her sleeping arrangements. Kylo Ren was disgustingly correct, they were destined for better sleep if in the same room. The night after their first sleepover, Ash fought as hard as she could to not give in. Around one in the morning, she did. The next night, she didn’t even bother fighting. For the rest of that week, she stop caring altogether and would show up to his apartment a little after maintenance retired for the night.

            She began lugging the rather large book on the Force around from her apartment and back to Kylo’s. They’d go over a chapter or two on Force Visions, Ashlyn asking a million questions over what she could do. Kylo patiently (or at least he’d argue that he was being patient with her) would answer as best he could. As much as she hated to admit it, Kylo was a pretty good teacher when he wasn’t teasing her or growing aggravated over the amount of questions. Yet, the two were getting along and Ashlyn was really growing comfortable around him… until…

 

_The room was dark, yet Ashlyn knew where she was. She had been sleeping in that apartment for a little over a week now. She felt like she knew it better than her own lately. It felt like everything around her was moving slowly as the familiar figure appeared in front of her. She knew immediately this wasn’t a shared dream. He was moving on a path that seemed predetermined by something other worldly. A Force Vision. Ashlyn grew fearful as to how this could play out. Every other vision she had, someone died. Now, Kylo Ren stood in front of her. Was he going to die too?_

_Her heart raced in her chest. This couldn’t be happening, she couldn’t watch how he was going to die in some horrific manner. They were finally getting along and things were good. Things were getting really good._

_That all changed when his hands were gently resting on either side of her cheeks, his head lowering towards hers. When their lips contacted, it felt like electricity surging through her entire body as she jolted awake…_

 

           

            Ash sat up, gasping for air as the welcomed darkness of the room surrounded her. Her breathing labored as her heart thudded in her chest. That couldn’t have been what she saw. No, something was wrong, that couldn’t be how things were meant to be. This Force Vision had to be wrong. Her mind was panicking, what the hell had she just seen?

            She was in such chaos, she almost forgot about the sleeping man next to her until he spoke, amusement in his voice as he said. “Well, that was **_interesting_**.”

            She jumped, looking over at him as he look back at her. “Crap.”

 


	17. Ash Becomes A Real Force User

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Good things happened that one time

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey... so... good news and bad news. Good news? Here's a chapter! Bad news? I'm going away for 2 weeks, so there won't be a chapter until then...
> 
> So... leave me something nice to come back to? Let's see if we can get this story to 60 comments!

* * *

 

            Ashlyn had been pacing back and forth in front of the fireplace in Kylo Ren’s apartment for over a half hour now. Her thoughts racing a mile a minute as Kylo sat on the couch, watching her have a meltdown. “I mean--” She began, trying to form sentences. “You said yourself that they might not necessarily come true.”

            He exhaled sharply. “To an extent, yes.”

She stopped pacing to look at him in disbelief. “An extent?” She repeated. “So that could actually happen?”

            “It _could_.” Kylo replied diplomatically.

Ashlyn looked defeated. “How do we stop it?”

            He shrugged. “We might not have a choice.”

She frowned. “How about you just don’t do that then.”

            “Do what?” Kylo smirked as he played dumb.

“You know what!” She hissed.

            He nodded. “Oh, right. **_Kiss_** you. Don’t do **_that_**. Got it.”

Hearing those words come directly from Kylo caused Ashlyn to feel butterflies swarm in her stomach. She wasn’t sure if she was going to be sick or faint. “Is this our fate then?”

            “Looks like it.”

“And you’re just totally fine with it?” She asked.

            Kylo waved her off. “The Force works in ways we can’t possibly fully understand. If that is what’s meant to be, then no amount of fighting it is going to help.” He noticed her expression drop even more. “Do you want me to just do it now and get it over with?” He asked dryly.

            Ashlyn shook her head. “This isn’t how it was done. You’ll just make the Force mad.”

He snorted. “Make the Force mad?” He repeated. “Ashlyn, it’s not a vindictive being.”

            “It sure feels like it.” She said, finally walking away from the fire and over to the couch where she plopped down dramatically next to Kylo. “It’s like the Force has a personal vendetta against me.”

            “I can assure you, it does not.” He said. “If anything, it just seems to have very distinct plans for you.” He pursed his lips, thinking for a moment. “And for myself, apparently.”

            “I feel like I have no control over my life.” She said. “It’s like everything is predetermined.”

Kylo sighed, he was slightly aggravated that his sleep was being interrupted by this panic attack. Not only that, Ashlyn wasn’t letting them sleep with all these questions. Things were going so well and now they were back to square one. “Does anyone have control over their life?” He offered. “It just so happens you can _see_ where the Force is taking you. Not many have that luxury.”

            Again, for the fourth time this week, Kylo Ren was right. The score was really becoming uneven now as Ashlyn inhaled deeply. She rested her head against the couch, looking up at the ceiling. “I suppose you’re right.”

            “Of course I am.” He said smugly. “I have more experience with this than you.” She gave him a pointed look before returning her gaze back to the ceiling. “You’ve also been sleeping in my bed for over a week now. I’m fairly certain that should have been more of a concern for you than this.” And now the score was really unbalanced as he made yet another good point. “Speaking of--” He looked back to the bed, wishing he could just get some sleep and not have Ashlyn Novafall be the reason for his sleepless nights anymore.

            “I don’t know if I can sleep after all this…” She looked for a word. “Excitement.”

“You said that about Sid dying too.” He was always so brutal when tired. “Let’s go.” Kylo said, removing himself from the couch and to the bed where he plopped down with purpose and shifted under the covers.

            Ashlyn paused for a few moments, watching the man shift around in the bed to get comfortable. Maybe this really was the path she was heading down. It made sense, didn’t it? Then why was she so afraid to keep moving towards it?

            With bated breath, Ashlyn removed herself from the couch and followed Kylo’s example. She walked over to the bed and nervously crawled over the man and lied down in the bed. After settling under the blankets, it didn’t take long for her to find peace as her eyes fluttered closed.

 

* * *

 

            Like previous mornings, Ash found herself tangled in the bed sheets and also tangled up with Kylo Ren. Her head resting on his shoulder and her legs wrapped around his. Kylo Ren learned quickly that she was an _accidental cuddler_ , as he called it.

            She yawned, shifting closer to the warm body that was next to her as she did. “You know, for someone so against the thought of us kissing... You are all over me.”

            Ash groaned. “Just once can we have a morning without snarky quips?”

“We could.” He offered. “But where is the fun in that?”

            She shrugged, still not moving away from Kylo. Something she typically was very quick to do. “Your idea of fun and my idea of fun are two different things.”

            “Clearly.” He said, his arm still wrapped around her. Against his better judgement, he could get used to this. Kylo Ren had always hated contact, he hated the idea of needing a counterpart or the potential of needing one.

            He had seen the disappointment in his Mother’s eyes as he had grown up. She had loved his Father so deeply and truly, and perhaps there was a part of him that loved her just as much. Yet, it never showed. Especially in the times he left. And he left often. He watched their marriage fall apart and the idea of having someone like that in his life was always a turn-off. However, something in the way Ash felt lying next to him. Perhaps that wasn’t all too bad.

            Immediately, he shook the feeling from his mind. No, he wouldn’t allow himself to end up like them. Even though he had told Ashlyn it was better to not fight what the Force had showed them, by the stars he’d be just as stubborn as she was. “Alright, get off me.” He said, sounding aggravated with her.

            Ash frowned as she rolled over and off Kylo Ren, watching him immediately remove himself from the bed altogether and heading for the bathroom. “Well good morning to you too.” She said.  

            “We have meetings today.” He said stiffly as he entered the bathroom.

He wasn’t wrong, they _did_ have meetings today. She was meeting with Hux along with Phasma and Kylo in regards to whatever the heck it was they were building for StarKiller. It was about time too, they had no sense of direction and her crew needed to know their next steps.

            Ashlyn had been bringing her work uniform with her, it simply made things much easier. She got off the bed and walked over to where she had left her uniform, grabbing the black jumpsuit and staring at it for a moment. Everything was so different, in five months, things had changed so drastically. It was still so difficult to grasp at times. A lot of these changes had been the direct cause of the man that had  reemerged from the bathroom. She looked over at him, thoughtfully, before offering a small smile. He was dressed for the day, minus his gloves, boots and helmet. That same perfect, black hair fluttering slightly as he walked.

            He had stopped, realizing she had been looking at him. He noticed the smile on her face, it wasn’t _the_ smile but _a_ smile. One that reassured him that she was going to ultimately be okay. “All yours.” He said, trying to bring the attention back to their agenda.

            Ash simply nodded and walked passed him and into the bathroom. She gently closed the door behind her and dressed. Her heart racing a mile a minute in her chest. Perhaps, her vision wasn’t as farfetched as she originally thought.

 

* * *

 

           Hux noticed that Kylo Ren and Ashlyn sat as far away from each other as possible. He also was quite aware as to their sleeping arrangements as of late. While his initial freakout was minimal, he did soon come to accept it made everyone’s lives somewhat easier now that Kylo Ren was sleeping again. He was still adamant about keeping it a secret, however. Almost as adamant as Kylo Ren saying there was nothing going on. Hux only half believed him.

            “We are more than happy to have you working on base, Ashlyn.” Hux began the meeting. “StarKiller is progressing and now we must move on to the next steps of our latest project.” The hologram appeared in the center of the conference table, as well as schematics sent to Ashlyn’s datapad for closer inspection. The inner workings of the solar panels that the team had recently installed now looked more in-depth as Ashlyn began to analyze it. “We need a core reactor to be up and running as quickly as possible. This reactor needs to have the capability to withstand the energy of mass magnitudes.”

             She licked her lips. “Like a bright star.” It wasn’t a question.

Hux nodded. “Precisely”

            Ash scrolled through the blueprints and schematics on her datapad. Her gut feeling telling her exactly what she was looking at. “It’s a weapon?” Of course they had been building a weapon. Had Ashlyn truly forgotten who she had been working for this whole time.

            “Think of it more as self-defense. It’s our only chance to protect this central hub.” Hux said.

            Her next question, she wasn’t sure she wanted to know the answer to. “Sid knew about this?”

            “He did.” Hux confirmed. “Our goal is to be able to absorb dark energy that can be formed into--”

            Ash interrupted. “A crystalline ray.” She skimmed the schematics again. “You’re going to need something more powerful than solar panels to help harness the magnitude of energy needed.”

            “That is where Commander Ren comes into play.” Hux said, Ash turned her attention to the man across from her. He looked painfully aggravated to even be in the same room as this meeting.

            “This planet is also home to an energy source called kyber crystals.” Kylo informed the group. “There’s a nearby cavern I’ve been meaning to take you to for training purposes as well as investigating the crystals themselves.” She remembered reading something about kyber crystals in the book Kylo had given her. ‘ _We’ll discuss more in private…’_ He mentally informed her.

            Ashlyn looked down at the datapad again. “You know what this weapon can do.” It was rhetorical as she looked to the three leaders in the room. “You’re all fully aware.”

            “A friendly reminder, Ms. Novafall--” She could feel Kylo tense over the tone Hux had taken. “We are at war.”

            Ash shook her head. “I understand that, General. I just want to make sure you understand what you’re asking with this.”

            “Can you do it?” He asked impatiently.

“I can.” She could, but did she want to? Ashlyn felt that suffocating feeling of not having a choice washing over her.

            She knew what she was getting into by working here. The First Order weren’t exactly the good guys. Then again, Ashlyn was a firm believer that no one was really on the ‘good’ side when it came to war. Nothing was so simply black and white when it came down to it. However, a weapon of this caliber was terrifying in its own right. She also knew this was something she couldn’t really hide from the crew. They would figure it out sooner rather than later.

 

* * *

 

            As Ashlyn left the conference room, she was joined by Kylo Ren as he shifted his helmet in his hands, ready to put it on. “You didn’t tell me we were building a weapon.” She said lowly.

            “Neither did Sid.” He reminded her dutifully.

She was really getting tired of his valid points lately. “Regardless, this is a lot bigger than I anticipated.”

            “You still signed up for this. Willingly, I might add.” He said, placing the helmet on his head. His voice now distorted. “Meet me at the south wall entrance tonight. I will show you to the cave.”

            “Why can’t we go now?” Ash asked.

“You have a lot on your plate. Besides, it’ll be worth the wait.” Kylo said.

            Ash groaned. “I’m tired of all this cryptic crap.” She threw her arms in the air. “But fine, I can wait.” She really did have a lot going on, and the first thing involved informing Laynor of her decision. Then, she’d tell the crew the truth about StarKiller.

 

* * *

 

               Laynor was less than supportive of Ashlyn’s decisions. In fact, the word _mistake_ came up at least twelve times followed by she was walking to her own death by staying. Ultimately, he didn’t have a say and Ashlyn had already dug her grave. Now she had to lie in it. That also meant taking the responsibility of briefing her crew on all the ongoings of StarKiller.

              They sat in Sid’s office, Ashlyn refusing to sit in his chair and instead sat on his desk.

             Her feet dangling off the side as she looked at the crew. She knew what she had to do. Ashlyn believed in transparency and she believed above all that her crew needed to be protected. That also meant their morals and their beliefs. She would never ask them to do something against their beliefs. “I was caught up on the next step on StarKiller.” She nervously began, the group didn’t have to be Force Sensitive to see it either. “I know we’re all here for each other and whatever happens we have each other’s backs.” She said. “But if this is something you cannot do, I won’t be against you fleeing.”

            “The hell is going on, Ash?” Taka asked, the group now concerned.

Ash sent the file to their datapads. The group opened the blueprints and stared in shock and awe. “This is the final stage to the StarKiller project. This machine will have the capability to harness the energy of nearby stars, taking in the dark matter and utilizing it to create a crystalline ray. This is a mass energy that has the capability of being devastating when used.” The group was silent. “I understand if you cannot be a part of this.”

            Grim was the first to speak. “We aren’t going anywhere.” He spoke for the entire group. “This concerns all of us and we will do what we need to do as your team. Right, guys?” The team, somewhat reluctantly nodded and agreed. This weapon changed everything, yet they knew where they belonged and that was together.

            Ash inhaled deeply. “I promise, we will do this right and if anyone has any issues going further we will handle it.”

            Taka smirked. “Since we’re working on it, I’m sure we can always put a failsafe in it to turn it off.” Ashlyn returned the smirk. He was right. At the end of the day, they had full control over the final say on StarKiller. Ash felt just a little better about the situation.

* * *

  


            As promised, she met Kylo Ren after the sun had set on the south wall entrance. He kept his expression hidden under his helmet as she walked over to him. “You seem a little happier.” He acknowledged. Ash noticed a pack slung over his shoulder.

            She smiled. “Yes, I momentarily forgot how wonderful my team is until today.”

            He exhaled sharply. “Your merry band of misfits.” He opened the door to the freezing cold outside. “Hope you dressed warm, it’s quite cold.”

            Ash had become somewhat used to the cold on StarKiller now. She only needed one coat as opposed to her first encounter with snow. She said nothing as Kylo led her into the dark outside and into the woods. “Will you tell me where we’re going?” She asked.

            “A cave.” He said flatly.

“That’s so helpful.” She replied, rolling her eyes. “Do you _really_ need the helmet?”

            “Keeps my head warm.” His short replies made Ashlyn feel like she had done something wrong to deserve it. Then again, he was always a moody person. Some days more than others.

            The two reached a clearing, in the darkness Ash could make out the entrance to the cave. They walked in silence to the entrance, walking in and began their long walk further into the cave. “Kind-of dark, no?” Ash commented as the darkness around them consumed her vision. Without another word, Kylo took out his lightsaber and ignited the blade. The crackle and fizz of the raw power exiting the hilt caused Ashlyn to jump. She had only really seen his lightsaber once or twice prior to this.

            He led them further, Ash suddenly see a very bright light around the far corner. She had a feeling they were heading in that direction. It was only confirmed when Kylo retracted his saber and replaced it on his belt. The two turned the corner and Ash stood in complete awe. She had never seen kyber crystals before, they shone brightly with a white luminescence that showed off the entirety of the cave. It was **_huge_**. The cave went on for miles passed the build up of crystals. “Wow…” she breathed.

            Kylo Ren had taken his helmet off now, placing it down on a nearby rock formation. “This isn’t even the bigger pile of crystals.” He said, walking closer to the mass. Ash followed suit as she tried to take in the wonder around her. “Pick one.” He said, grinning as Ash looked at him in confusion. “Not just any one. Find the one that calls to you.”

            Ash forced herself to move forward, the overwhelming energy around her clogged her senses. She closed her eyes, trying to focus. Something Kylo had taught her to do many times before. Whenever she felt overstimulated by the world around her, if she closed her eyes she could find her center. As she did, she heard it, the hum from a nearby pile.

            Walking closer to it, one crystal in general was pulsating in a way that was different than those around it. The hum was music to her ears among the other vibrations. She carefully reached out, her hand touching the crystal. It snapped off easily in her hand. She felt not just at peace with the crystal but also as though this kyber crystal was a part of her. It felt **_right_**.

            She looked down at the crystal in her hand, it was no longer glowing. Perplexed, Ashlyn walked back over to Kylo Ren whom was now sitting on the cave floor with the bag he had brought from earlier. “Did I break it?”

            He chuckled. “No, now sit.” He gently commanded. Ashlyn did just that as Kylo emptied the contents of the bag. There were three different hilts, each varying in shape and size. “Choose your hilt.”

            She looked at them, immediately the one that called out to her was a hilt that was crooked at the bottom. She picked it up with her free hand. “This one.”

            “It suits you.” He said as he ruffled through the bag again, grabbing a few tools before placing them in front of her. “Now, we make your lightsaber.”

            She looked at him in disbelief. “Excuse me?”

“You need to be the one to put it together.” He said. “Don’t worry, I’ll instruct you along the way. Although, I have no doubt you can do this blindfolded.” Kylo had become quite convinced that the Force had granted Ashlyn not only the power of foresight but was also the reason for her skill in building and repairing any and all mechanical devices she came in contact with.  

            She looked at the hilt she had chosen, along with the kyber crystal in her other hand. “So what do I do?”

            “First, we need to prepare the hilt for the kyber crystal. If done incorrectly, the crystal won’t spark properly.” He instructed as he watched Ash dive right in. She gently placed her crystal down and began working on the hilt. She opened the top compartment and looked inside. There was nothing really special about the hilt, in fact, it seemed to resemble the inner workings of the Z6 riot control baton. However, she knew it would house something much more powerful than the energy behind that particular weapon. “The crystal should be securely fastened within the hilt, once that’s completed, you will need to close it properly.”

            Ash fiddled with the inner wiring of the hilt. It was as if she had known had to make a lightsaber all along. The Force was guiding her, she had a feeling that was the ultimate answer. Once satisfied with the setup of the hilt, she placed the crystal securely into the hilt and then began to seal up the compartment. Carefully, she screwed the components in place, blissfully unaware as the man in front of her watched diligently. Once everything was in place, Ash finally looked up at Kylo Ren, she smiled as she held the hilt in her hand. A feeling surging through her as she did.

            “What happens next?” She asked.

“Tell me what you sense.” Kylo instructed.

            She thought for a moment, the electrical surge from the kyber crystals around her humming through her being as the two sat there. She could feel _everything_. She felt energy, raw energy coming from the cave, from her new saber and from the Force User across from her. It was peaceful and albeit intoxicating. “Power.” She said. “Light, darkness.” She continued. “I feel a sense of peace with both.” 

            A smile tugged at the corner of his lips. “Good.” He was proud, whether or not he’d specifically say so. “Let’s see what color you were given.”

            Ash looked at him curiously. “It’s not going to be red?”

“The kyber crystal will choose a color more fitting to the user. Each crystal is selected by the Force to the Force User. Granted, you can have more than one, your chances of the colors changing from each crystal varies.”

            “Does each color represent something?” Ash asked.

“It does.” He said. “Each color typically represents how the Force User harnesses their power best. Mine is red, my power comes from passion and anger.”

            Ash looked at the saber in her hand. “So how do I use it?”

“How do you do anything with the Force?” He replied sarcastically. “Use your gift.”

            She frowned, holding the saber upright and away from her body. She knew the damage  this thing could wield. She had seen it first hand in the control room Kylo Ren destroyed. Her first encounter with the man. Boy, had things changed. She closed her eyes, focusing on the saber itself. She was almost reluctant to see what color her saber would give.

            After a few moments, she felt the power surge through the hilt of the lightsaber. The light exiting the hilt with force and illuminating in the cave. She heard the hum of the saber in her ears; it drowned out the hum of all over kyber crystals in the area. This was **_hers_** , it was one with her now. “How interesting.” She heard Kylo say before she finally opened her eyes. In front of her was a bright, amber colored light that radiated from the hilt.

            “Amber?” She asked. “What does that mean?”

“Typically, the amber color is a mix of the dark and light side. Like I had always assumed, you draw your power from both sides. This particular color means you draw your power from the ones you love, shielding them give you strength. Protecting is a sign of the Light side, however, the selfishness of protecting your loved ones is a Dark side trait.”

            “It’s selfish to protect the ones you love?”

“According to a Jedi, yes.”

            “If I’m neither Dark or Light, what am I?” She asked, somewhat concerned.

He thought for a moment, what _did_ that make her? Kylo ultimately drew his power from the darker tendencies. Rarely did he dabble in what the light gave him. It wasn’t as powerful. “I’d consider you grey. You have no true allegiance.”

            “Of course, I have to make it difficult.” She joked.

“Naturally.” Kylo smirked. His smirk faded almost as quickly as it came as he watched Ashlyn stare in awe at her lightsaber blade for a few more moments. He could feel how intune she felt being where they were. She was finally becoming one within the balance of the Force, at least in that moment.

             After rescinding the blade back into the hilt of the lightsaber, Ash looked back up at him, noticing he had been staring for a while. The Force had a predetermined destination for everyone, regardless if they could feel it or not. It connected all beings, living and dead. It was all powerful and it knew the best path a person should take. Did she continue to fight it? Perhaps not. Yet, she couldn’t escape the sinking feeling that every other vision had been a warning. Was the Force warning her about Kylo Ren? Or was there something else entirely that the girl had been missing all along? She shuddered slightly, feeling a chill crawl up her back as she decided she needed to look into all this just a little more. “Can we head back soon?” She asked.

          Kylo frowned. “What is it?” He knew she had been deep and thought, and for once was respectful to not invade her inner monologue.

          She smiled reassuringly. “Not that I am not enjoying my time here. I really am and I hope we can come back soon. This place is something else.” She explained. “I just want to look into something, the book is in your apartment.”

          “While I should be happy in your eagerness to learn more, I am also quite concerned.” He teased.

            Ashlyn laughed. “I promise, it’s all for good.”

Kylo reminded her. “But you’re not good, Ashlyn. Or evil for that matter. You’re grey.”

            “A neutral party.” She said, beginning to find comfort in her stance. “I like it.”

He rolled his eyes before standing up and offering his hand to Ashlyn. “Alright, let’s head back since you’re so eager.”

            Ash playfully stuck out her tongue before taking Kylo’s hand. A similar surge of electricity running through her, almost exactly like the one she felt in her vision. The two of them felt it as they stood there for a moment, neither one letting go of the other’s hand for the longest time before Ash pulled away first. She laughed nervously, putting a strand of her red hair behind her ear. “It’s so cold, I’m ready to sit in front of the fireplace.” Kylo said nothing as he grabbed the pack her brought, then his helmet. After putting his helmet back on, he led Ashlyn back to the base in silence. Keeping his distance was proving to be a much harder task than he anticipated, especially when he was really enjoying the feeling of contact between them.

 

* * *

 

           

            As Ash sat on the floor in front of the fireplace, her new favorite place to be especially after being out in the cold, she flipped through the Force book Kylo had given her to read. She wanted to know more about Force visions and anything at all about being considered “grey”. It seemed any time she received some sort of answer, it would open up more questions in the long run. Which was highly annoying in her mind.

            The book mentioned basically everything Kylo had already brought to her attention. Force Visions were not always set in stone but the likeliness of it happening was on the higher end. Sometimes the visions presented themselves as a warning, but more than likely, it was already too late to change the course. It seemed more and more inevitable that whatever path chosen for her and Kylo was destined to happen. She just wished more than anything that Kylo Ren had no idea. It was torture knowing he had that over her.

            She managed to stumble upon the Light and Dark energies of the Force and how they were used in balance for a Force User. Different circumstances called for different pulls to a different side and yet some, the Jedi and the Sith, tend to pull only from one side. That pulled another question to her mind, was she a Jedi or a Sith?

            “That doesn’t matter.” Kylo said in passing from the couch. “Those ways are gone. The Sith are long gone with it.”

            She pursed her lips as she turned to face him. “What about the Jedi?”

He simpered for a moment before answering. “They’re _almost_ gone.”

            “Because I pull from both sides, I don’t have an allegiance to Jedi or Sith?”

“Not exactly.” Kylo explained. “The terms for those type of Force Users are dated, their days were numbered and ended during the clone wars. It soon became the norm for users to balance on both sides of the spectrum meaning they could pull their powers from Light or Dark. It was better this way than to align with something that contradicted its own purpose.”

            “How were they contradicting?” She asked.

“It’s like the war, Ash.” Kylo said. “Nothing is simply black and white anymore. The sooner people accept that the sooner they can fulfill their destinies.”

            She turned back to the book, looking back at the pages. “And what is your destiny?”

             He didn’t immediately answer. That was a convoluted answer in itself. He wanted power, he wanted control, yet he also wanted balance. His allegiance was with the First Order yet he was chaotic. He stood on a fine line between his own selfish needs and the greater good of the Order. And then there was Ashlyn. Things weren’t complicated enough before she arrived. “My destiny is creating order.” He said sharply.

           Ashlyn looked down at her lightsaber, picturing the amber glow of the blade in her mind. “I think my destiny is to protect the ones I love.” She said thoughtfully. “To be the barrier between the bad things that try and hurt them.”

          “You can’t protect everyone.” He reminded her.

She forced a smile as she turned and looked back at him. “I can try.”

           Her place in all this made sense then, at least to Kylo Ren. Her Force Visions showed her previously what was going to happen to her loved ones. She tried to protect them and that’s all the Force really asked of her. She was stubborn but she had a promise to herself, she’d protect whomever she could and take the blame when she couldn’t. That was Ashlyn, even before he understood how the Force connected with her. He returned the small smile that she had given him. “I know you will.”

          Ash blushed slightly as she returned her attention to the book, realizing almost immediately she was way too distracted to keep reading now. Reluctantly, she closed the book and picked it up off the ground. She wandered over to where she had been keeping a few of her personal items and placed it gently on top. It was almost time to sleep soon anyway, perhaps it was for the best she stopped reading anyway.

         She heard Kylo Ren get off the couch behind her and forced an awkward smile as she turned to face him, ready to make a joke about their sleeping arrangements. Only, she stopped. Her smile fading as she recognized the scene before her. The way Kylo Ren was looking at her from across the room. Her heart thudded in her chest as he cautiously moved closer.

         She knew what was coming, they both did. They didn’t understand it; the pull and need the kept gnawing at them from the inside. No matter how hard they tried to fight it, and against their better judgement, Kylo Ren gently placed his hands on either side of her face and lowered him head closer to hers. Their lips feeling like fire as they touched; an electrical surge unlike anything either one had felt before radiating through their bodies. There was no going back now and neither one cared.

 


	18. It's Too Late

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ashlyn finds herself in quite the pickle this week.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh… hello everyone. It’s me. Did you miss me? I missed you. I had a wonderful time on vacation, especially receiving emails about new reviews. You guys rock! 
> 
> I have a funny story for you before we start this party…
> 
> So I was in Disney World with the boyfriend, which was AMAZING and much needed time away. I did miss writing for y’all but this story from Disney, I think, is worth the wait on this fic!
> 
> Anyway! I wanted to meet Chewbacca and Kylo Ren while at Hollywood Studios. I met Chewbacca I was wearing my black Star Wars shirt and a black skirt and he loved my shirt and we shared the best hug of my life! (The shirt and colors are important for later, I promise). He also bonded with my boyfriend, whom has long hair and a beard, and we said he’s a Wookie in training. Chewbacca was a ton of fun and I absolutely loved meeting him. Best hugs ever, seriously. If you go to Disney World and get a chance to meet him, do it. 
> 
> Then it was time for Kylo Ren. 
> 
> Some quick background, his area, unlike Chewbacca’s meeting area, is dark and scary. It’s basically the Finalizer. I was waiting on the line with the boyfriend and we were up next. The Cast member at the first part before you enter the big doors to meet him was like “Oh… you look like you might be on the dark side, you’re dressed in all black. Kylo Ren might not be angry with you then!” and I laughed. She asked if I was on the Dark Side and I said I was committed to the light, like my brother and father before me. She said that might be a bad thing now that I was meeting Kylo Ren. 
> 
> The door opened and my boyfriend and I were ushered in. We were the first at the line so we waited where we were told. Side note, you can’t see around the corner so you have no clue how close you are to Kylo Ren or where he is behind the wall. Same thing with Chewbacca. Except with Kylo Ren it’s more intimidating because it’s not a cute Wookie on the other side. ANYWAY. 
> 
> So the cast member inside says “Wait here until the Commander is ready for you.” and SUDDENLY, OUT OF LITERALLY NOWHERE, OUR COMMANDER APPEARS AND YELLS AT THE CAST MEMBER “I AM YOUR COMMANDER, YOU WILL OBEY ME!” He then looks at me and my boyfriend and says “Come with me.” 
> 
> Immediately we follow him, because… hey.. This dude was intimidating and so now I’m standing next to Kylo freaking Ren and my boyfriend is standing on the other side of me. Immediately, Kylo Ren gets right up in my face and starts talking to me. He’s like “I sense a darkness in you. Will you answer the call?” and immediately I was like YEP. YOU GOT IT. ANSWERING THE CALL. and he was like “Good. Turn from the light. Join me and together we can end the Jedi.” and… disappointedly to my Jedi code… I agreed to join Kylo Ren without much resistance. While I’m ashamed, I’m pretty sure we’re secretly married now. Idk. Because he wouldn’t leave me alone and was like… there. BUT THEN. He suddenly sees my boyfriend, whom I totally was like… c’ya dude. It’s Kylo Ren. and he storms over to him and goes “you’re afraid.” and my boyfriend was just like… yeah. Kinda. Really. You’re scary dude. And Kylo Ren goes “Good.” and keeps trying to intimidate him, which wasn’t hard because again… scary. 
> 
> So then he comes back to my side and we do a cool Force user pose and then he tells me to embrace the darkness and I’m like “Yes Commander!” and he looks at my boyfriend and my boyfriends just like “Bye… sir!” and Kylo Ren practically chased him out and I waved all smitten like.
> 
> And that’s my encounter with Kylo Ren! 
> 
> Thank you guys for the reviews and favorites and what not. Keep them coming! I love hearing your thoughts!
> 
> And now, enough talking! Here you go!

* * *

 

          It was the middle of the night and Kylo Ren awoke with a start. He felt it, that creeping thought slowly wiggling it’s fingers in his brain and digging its way deeper and deeper until finally he couldn’t ignore it anymore. He could feel the Force within her, the way it surged through her smaller frame as she slept. She was unknowingly using it and he could feel every second of it. Normally, this was not a cause for alarm. However, this time, it was different. The way he had felt the Force flowing was not because she was using, no, she was using the Force and pulling strength from **_him_**. She wasn’t draining him, she was balancing her Force powers with his.

         Abruptly, Kylo Ren got out of bed, causing Ash to wake up from the sudden movement as he was storming across the room. Her eyes adjusting to the darkness around her, she rubbed them gently as she called out into the darkness. “Kylo?” Her voice groggy from suddenly awakening as she tried to find the man in the room. It didn’t take her long to pinpoint his location as she felt his energy suddenly grow dark and angry. “Kylo, what is it?” She called out again.

        He was suddenly dress as he reappeared closer to Ashlyn now, his face blank of all emotion as he radiated anger that Ashlyn couldn’t shake. “I need to go.” He said.

“Go?” She asked incredulously. “Go where? It’s early in the morning.”

        “That does not matter.” He said, placing his gloves on. “I need to go.”

She frowned. “Did I do something wrong?” A bold question, but Ash needed answers.

          He exhaled sharply through his nostrils as he wandered to the other side of the room once more, this time to grab his helmet. “That’s irrelevant.”

Ash sat up now. “Then tell me what’s going on?”

            He said nothing as he grabbed his helmet and began to walk for the door to his apartment. The door slid open and immediately shut. He turned, looking at Ash as she held her hand up. A shocked expression on her face, unable to believe that that had actually worked. However, she felt a sudden surge of power coursing through her. Kylo Ren felt it more as a drain on his end as he glared at her.

            The two were at a standstill, glaring at each other as anger and frustration radiated throughout the room until Kylo gave in first. His expression softening only but a little as he explained. “Ash, please.”

            She shook her head. “No, you don’t get to just shut me out like that.” She demanded. “Just give me _something_.”

 His shoulders fell slightly. “I cannot say because I don’t have anything to share right now.” He was being honest. “I need you to just continue your daily life without me for a while.”

            “Where are you going?” He shrugged, he really didn’t have any idea. “For how long?”

“As long as it takes.” As though the answer were so simple. “Work on StarKiller, go to the cavern and wait until I return.”

            She felt a pit in her stomach growing more and more. “Fine.” Ash knew this was a losing battle, his mind had been made up from the moment he woke.

There it was again, that guilty feeling. He was feeling it more than ever as he pushed Ash away. Yet, he knew he had to. He had to get to the bottom of this. If what he thought was happening really was… well, Kylo Ren had bigger problems. “I’ll return.” That was more of a promise. “Keep your saber at your side, do not lose sight of it.” He said, turning towards the door again. “And by the Maker, do **not** bring Taka with you to the cavern. If you do, I’ll kill him.”

            Ash glared. “Just go.” She snapped, not wanting to deal with his jealousy right now. Without another word, Kylo Ren did exactly as she commanded. Ashlyn didn’t stop him this time, instead she pulled her knees to her chest and felt the immediate need to cry. She wouldn’t let herself, however. Not until she knew he was gone. She wouldn’t give him the satisfaction.

            Even as she left his apartment, leaving behind her change of clothes and the large book on the Force he had given her, she didn’t give him the satisfaction as she walked down the hall of the 100’s.

            She was stopped by a concerned and ultimately tired and irritated General Hux as he emerged from his sleeping quarters. He stared at Ashlyn, wandering the hall in her pajamas and looking completely miserable. “Where has he gone?” He asked, his data pad in his hands as he checked the sudden leaving of Kylo Ren’s ship in the docking bay.

            Ash looked at him, her face expressionless as she shrugged. “Not my problem.” She muttered as Hux frowned at her. As she forced herself back to the maintenance bay, she felt a strange tug at her being. Her chest tightening as the door to her apartment slid behind her quietly. Her back found itself leaning against the cool metal of the door as she slid down the door. The moment she reached the ground, she was unable to hold back the tears as she cried out everything inside her mind.

 

* * *

 

            For the next week, Ashlyn was in a complete and utter daze. Kylo Ren had left and in that moment of desperation, she cried. She cried out of anger, out of confusion, out of feeling completely lost. What the hell had happened? Was it her fault? Was it a direct result of their kiss? Everything up until that moment seemed fine, even as they went to sleep. What had happened after she closed her eyes that night that made everything change? Did it even matter?

            They would share their Force dreams, she knew she was in the dark place. However, Kylo Ren was nowhere to be found and Ash thought perhaps it was for the better. She didn’t want to face him and he most certainly didn’t want to see her. He made it very clear when he hid from her in their shared dreams. Instead, Ashlyn forced herself to do the only thing she could do when things were awful; work.      

            Ashlyn didn’t mind trekking into the cold outside the base of StarKiller, especially if it meant she could head into the cave which held the kyber crystals. It was a breath of fresh air in that chaotic week to escape the base and be near something she felt internally connected with.

           Since the evening of Kylo Ren’s departure, she continued to feel drained. She felt a strange need that was gnawing at her to him around and without him it was like a very heavy weight was dragging her down to the core of the planet. At least in the cave, she felt somewhat at peace.

           She was working on the setup for the StarKiller weapon, the crystals would power it and she was in charge of making sure the setup went smoothly. She also took heed to Kylo Ren’s threat that she was not allowed to bring Taka with her down there. She humored him, not wanting to deal with the death of Taka, even though she knew it would mess with Kylo Ren. It wasn’t worth the former. Instead, she brought Grim with her to the cavern. A decision she did not regret as the large man carried around the heavier items needed for the powering device.

           “C’mon, Ash!” He grunted, pulling up a larger piece of metal for the power grid. “Show me that new light sword you got!”

She kept her lightsaber on her belt at all times now, Kylo had warned her to keep it safe. Ash rolled her eyes, grinning. “I told you guys already, it’s not a toy.” To be fair, Kylo Ren had told her that first.

            “I just want to see it!” Grim pleaded. “It’s not like everyone gets a light sword.”

“It’s called a _lightsaber._ ” She immediately bit her tongue, gosh she was starting to even sound like him. “Fine.” She gave in, but mostly to get away from sounding too much like Kylo Ren. Ash grabbed the saber from her belt and held it out in front of her. She channeled the kyber crystal inside and out came the amber blade.

            She looked at Grim with a smug look on her face as he stared in awe. “It’s not red?” He asked the same question she did.

            “Apparently the color changes depending on the Force User and how they channel their energy. The kyber crystal senses it and bonds with the user.” Grim looked at the crystals around him, wondering if the kyber crystal would have the same effect for him. “No you can’t use them, only Force Users.” The two immediately stopped, Grim staring at Ashlyn with a horrified expression as she realized what she had just done. She was mortified, absolutely disgusted in herself. She didn’t even know she was doing it. It was like he was speaking directly to her. “Grim…” She tried. “I’m so sorry.”

            Grim tried to remain calm, although he was visibly freaked out. “You can read our minds now?”

Ashlyn shook her head. “I didn’t--” She couldn’t form the right words. “I’ve never been able to. I could only really sense what people were feeling before.” She then thought to the night that Kylo Ren had left and her sudden burst of power that made the door close. What the hell was going on with her lately?

            Grim attempted to bring more positivity to the situation. “Maybe it was a fluke… what am I thinking now?” He asked as he tried to think of something. _‘Man, the food on base really bites…’_

            She grimaced. “Yeah… the food is terrible.”

Ash felt Grim begin to panic a little more now. “Does anyone else know?” He asked.

            “This is literally the first time it has happened.” Ash explained. Of course this had to happen now. With Kylo Ren missing, Ash was at a loss as to where to turn to. She was doing the same exact thing she reprimanded the other Force User of StarKiller for doing.  

“Just promise me one thing, Ash…” Grim began, Ash looked at him hopefully that this wouldn’t cause a wedge between them, only to be disappointed with his next sentence. “Don’t become like **_him_**. After all he’s done and all he’ll continue to do… don’t become him.”

            His words alone were enough to upset her. What if she was turning into a Kylo Ren clone? With her training and overall expansion with her powers, what was stopping her from becoming just like him in the long run? What if becoming a Force User meant being ultimately feared and despised by those she had tried to protect all along? Suddenly, Ashlyn dreaded the thought of Kylo Ren ever returning. Especially if her suspicions were in any way validated.

* * *

  


            Hux inhaled deeply, his chest rising and falling as he then exhaled slowly and with purpose. In his hands was a warm cup of First Order coffee, something he typically did not get to enjoy before it ultimately turned cold from being unable to drink it right away. He was relaxed, or rather, as relaxed as he could be while Kylo Ren was gone. He relished the absence of his annoying counterpart as he sat in his office with a somewhat annoyed Captain Phasma across from him. “He’s not filling out his reports while off StarKiller.” Phasma said as she scanned her datapad. “Remind me why no one went with him?”

            “He didn’t want to be supervised while he went on his little _trip_.” Hux took a sip of his coffee before placing it down on his desk. He had received a message from Kylo Ren a few days after he initially departed. His request was simple, he needed to disappear for a while and to keep Ashlyn in the dark. While Hux did not particularly care for that idea, he also did not particularly care for the way that Ash had spoken to him that night either. It all worked out in his mind. “Can’t we just enjoy this time without the aggravation of Kylo Ren?”

            Phasma peered over her datapad, her eyes narrowed. “Not when he’s still causing me aggravation from afar.” She gripped the datapad tighter. “Where did he go anyway?”

 Hux shrugged. “Not sure. He said he needed to get answers.” Hux explained, at least that was the truth. “Answers to what, by the stars, I’ll never know.”

            “And you’re not worried he’s off causing more trouble for you later?”

Hux frowned into his cup of coffee before muttering. “I’ve thought about it.” It was as though Phasma was dead set on ruining his relaxing week. “Although Ren did seem to be more in pain than anything. I doubt he’s looking to sabotage me any further considering his distress.”

            Phasma raised a curious brow. “Distress? What could he possibly be stressing over now?”

“Once again, I know nothing. My concerns revolve around the base falling apart or not. He has his own battles to fight and I prefer to stay out of his affairs.”

            Phasma pursed her lips, her next conversation point would either make or break the conversation entirely. “I have noticed that Ashlyn has been doing better.” She began. “Although this week her focus is a little off, her hand-to-hand training with me has only improved--”

            Hux immediately interrupted, knowing exactly where the conversation was going. “We are feigning ignorance, Phasma. Do not forget that.”

“I’m aware of that, _General_.” She returned his tone with a little more gusto than he would have liked. “However, I cannot help but feel that something bigger is happening. Something beyond anyone’s comprehension.”

            He frowned. “Best to leave the feelings of other worldly things to our designated Force User.”

“I’m allowed to have bad feelings every now and then.”

           “This whole idea was a _bad feeling_ from the start.” Hux said with an exaggerated sigh. Of course, there was no such thing as a peaceful morning on this base. “We just have to remain on top of the situation and keep the Force Users in line. Once the base is fully functional, we can figure out another way to deal with the Commander and Ms. Novafall.” Phasma waited to his suggestion before he groaned. “Send her away, perhaps?”

            “He would never let you.”

“He may not have a choice.” Hux reminded her. “If this becomes a problem, you know the Supreme Leader will not be as kind.”

            Phasma exhaled sharply. “So, we don’t let it become a problem.”

Hux gave her a pointed look. “You know Ren, he’s impulsive, irrational and--”

            “Somewhat bearable with the girl around.” Phasma interrupted.

His mouth twitched to a quick smile at that. “He has been tolerable lately, hasn’t he?” The two sat in silence for a moment, both knowing that this situation could only end in chaos. However, there was a small glimmer of hope that everyone would get what they wanted in the end. Hux would get his weapon, Phasma would have a happier relationship with the Commander and General, and Ren… well, Ren would have someone to keep him in line. If only fairy tales were real and life would work out that way. Their continued ignorance would have to be just that; ignorance, until things would ultimately crash and burn. Yet, if by some chance the universe intended for everything to work out, everyone would have a better time sleeping in the long run.

 

* * *

 

            Kylo Ren had more on his mind than he’d care to admit and most of those thoughts came back to _her_. Damn her. The girl with the red hair, she was ruining everything. What was worse? He let it happen. He knew he should have kept her at a distance and now **_this_** was happening. At least, he had a good idea that it was happening…

            It started after she had fallen asleep that night, her Force vision came true and well, he kissed her. As much as he didn’t want to delve down that path, he couldn’t help it. What should have sent red flags off in his mind went completely under the radar until he had time to think about it. He needed to know, was it happening? Had it already happened and neither one even noticed? Kylo Ren needed to know.

            So he left, he fled on his personal transport and travelled as far as he could from StarKiller. He needed to know if it was already too late. At first, he felt the immediate strain as the ship sailed into the atmosphere and to the stars. The desperate need and pull that had him wanting to return. Their connection was separating the further he got, yet he couldn’t stop that underlying pull back to her. It was happening, it was happening and he was stupid enough to let it.

            They were bonding. He felt it in the silence that night as she slept soundly next to him. Something was clicking in his mind and he was beginning to sense her more than he ever had. He felt it when he left StarKiller. Unlike previous times that Kylo Ren had left, he could still feel her. It was as though she were standing right beside him. Her presence, even though it wasn’t physical, was pulling at his being. He didn’t have to imagine how Ash was feeling over their separation, he could **feel** it. Even this far away, he could still feel her. That was a problem, especially because she was unknowingly feeling his struggle too.

            In his anger he took his lightsaber to the far right wall, destroying the cooling system for the entire ship. He knew that would only anger Ashlyn when he returned, she’d be the one to fix it, but he didn’t care right now. He was in bigger trouble than he could have ever predicted. He wanted nothing more than to give in and let it take over. For the rest of his week away, he meditated and destroyed more things around the ship before finding his composure and reluctantly set a course for returning to StarKiller.

 

    

* * *

       

            Ash had been battling so many emotions at once that week. During most of the time Kylo Ren had been missing, she felt tired and drained. Then there were times she felt angry for no particular reason at all, then hopeless, and then like nothing was wrong at all. She knew she wasn’t bipolar and she knew it was more than pms, but what that _something more_ was… well, Ash was at a loss and it was driving her crazy. She felt everything and nothing all at once, some days it was nauseating and some days it was easy to deal with. This evening, however, it was far from _easy to deal with._

         She needed answers, this was definitely the Force’s doing and once again she felt that it was being **vindictive** even though he told her that was not the case. It was also frustrating knowing the one person who typically had the answer, was gone. Then, there was the book in his apartment. Was it bad etiquette to enter his private chambers in his absence? Then again, did she really care about that common courtesy right now? Something was wrong and she needed an answer. By the stars would she be stopped by manners, he gave her no such courtesy in return anyway.

          And so Ashlyn Novafall went to the 100’s, her work belt around her waist in an attempt to make any bystanders believe she was working, regardless at the time of night. No one really paid her any attention anyway, regardless of her paranoia seeping through as she entered Kylo Ren’s quarters.

           It was exactly how she had left it, chaotic. The bed was still unmade and her belongings were still where she had left them. She shuffled through the darkness, finding the book among her things and grabbing it. She wandered over to the couch and sat with a plop before opening the book and trying to find answers. Granted, she didn’t exactly know what she was looking for which made things all the more difficult.

          ‘ _Force Visions…’_ She read as she flipped. ‘ _Force Sight… Force Bonding….’_ She stopped, her stomach tying in knots as she unknowingly triggered something in her being. She began to read. ‘ _Force Bond is a connection between two or more Force Users. They are able to connect on a deeper level and share their Force gifts with one another. Their powers being connected along with their emotional state…’_ She read. ‘ _Once bonded, the Force Users may be connected for **life**.’_ She looked at the pages, horrified. “Are you shitting me?” Ash said to the empty book as she immediately closed it.

          There was no way, she had to have been reading it wrong. That must have been it. She was not understanding it properly. She grabbed the book tightly under her arm and ran for the door. She couldn’t be in this apartment any longer. She had to get away, a feeling of suffocation taking over her as she clutched the book to her chest and quickly made her way to her quarters.

          ‘ _We aren’t connected. We can’t be.’_ She said. Granted, it made sense and Ashlyn wished it hadn’t. Yet, was she really drawing from his Force gifts? There’s no way he’d allow that to happen. Of that she was certain.

          She, not so quietly, slipped into her apartment. The safety of the door closing behind her as she exhaled deeply. She needed to calm down, her mind was out of focus even more so than it had been all week. “I suppose I didn’t get to you soon enough to explain.” His distorted voice shattered any composure she had as her eyes darted around the room in a panic. He was sitting on her couch, his legs stretched out and resting on the coffee table.

         Her fear and panic immediately turned to anger and hatred as she glared at the last person she wanted to see then. “You have some nerve coming into my apartment like this.”

         The mask hid his pointed look. “Because you did not just do the same to mine?”

Okay, he had a point and that only made her angrier. “Where the hell have you been?”

            “It’s nice to see you too, Ashlyn.” He said dryly, the distortion only making it worse. “I think we need to talk.”

Ash shook her head. “Isn’t that the last thing you want to do? You seemed so eager to get away from me a week ago.”

            “Can you blame me?”

“No, you don’t get an easy out on this one.” She said, gritting her teeth and hoping to hold back the tears that began welling up in her eyes. “You woke up and immediately left without telling me why or what was happening. You left me to figure out on my own that things were not right. You wanted nothing to do with me or to even give me some explanation as to why you were leaving. Kylo, I had thought that I had done something wrong when in reality it was something out of our control. That’s not fair to do to someone.”

            “Ashlyn--” He tried.

She snapped. “I will **not** talk to you with that stupid mask on.”

            She didn’t need to see the glare he was giving, she could feel it as he removed the mask at her request. Ash saw his face for the first time that week, and now she almost wished his mask was back on. It was a lot harder to face him now that she could see his dark eyes looking back at her. “As I tried to say, we need to talk.”

            At first, she could find the strength to move her legs. It took a few beats before she finally inhaled sharply and walked over towards the couch. She sat down as far as possible from him, granted, the couch was not as large as the one in his apartment. He was quite amused as he watched her practically sit on the arm of the couch, still clutching the book tightly. “So…” She began, trying to get the attention away from her current seating arrangement. “What is happening to us?”

            “I’m sure you’ve felt it--” He began. “The pull towards each other the moment I left. You probably could feel my emotions, even though I was far away.” Ash realized that more than likely explained her random angry outbursts. “We’re bonding.” Kylo said, trying to keep all emotion from his voice as he spoke.

            “But what does that mean?” She asked.

“It means you and I won’t be able to avoid each other anymore. Once we fully are bonded, we can feel each other’s emotions, balance our energies within one another.” He explained. “You’ll be able to channel more of the Force because you’ll be pulling that energy from me, you may notice the ability to do things you weren’t able to do properly before.”

            She thought back to her incident with Grim and reading his mind. “Is this a good or bad thing?”

She saw the twitch in his lips as he almost smirked. “A bit of both. Force bonding means we are forever connected. We will never be able to stay out of each other’s dreams now. We will feel each other’s emotions more now.”

            Ash nodded, that pit still in her stomach as she asked. “Can we stop it?”

Kylo shifted slightly in his seat, his upper body turning more towards her. “I suppose if we’re not fully bonded, we can try and stop it. However, that would involve us living on opposite sides of the galaxy until the ultimate pull goes away. Even that isn’t guaranteed.”

            She relaxed slightly in the chair, sliding somewhat off the arm of it and sitting like a normal person now. “How did this happen?”

“I suppose that kiss was our ultimate downfall.” He said with a smirk, causing Ash to frown. “But I suspect this has been happening for a while now, perhaps even as early as your arrival.” She looked at him, confused as to how that was possible. “You’ve been entering my dreams from the beginning, it’s really no surprise at all.”

            Ash groaned, sitting back in the chair fully now and resting her head on the back. Her eyes fixing on the ceiling as she sighed. “So, who’s staying and who’s going to the end of the galaxy to stop this?”

            He chuckled. “If it only were so simple. It might also not even fix anything.” He admitted. “Besides… I’m selfish.” Kylo said. “I want what is ultimately bad for me.”

She snorted. “Please, if anyone is bad for the other, it’s you being bad for me.”

            “I suppose you’re right.” He grinned. “But if you’d like to try, you’re more than welcome to take a ship and go.”

She looked at him. “How about you leave again? I’m obviously more useful to the base.”

            “I was here first.” Kylo said, sounding more like a child than anything which just caused Ashlyn to laugh.

It was hard to ignore the feeling of having him back. She felt whole again, she felt it almost immediately as she walked into the room. All week she felt drained and now she felt absolutely unstoppable, like she could take on the galaxy. There was also this awful need to just be close to him; to touch him. She wondered if that was a Force thing or a hormones thing. Either way, she hated it.

            “So you’re telling me we’re sick and there’s no cure?” Ashlyn asked.

“There is a cure.” Kylo explained. “We’re just too stubborn to take the prescription.”

            Ash sat up again, shifting to mimic his position as she looked at him. “I guess we’re doomed then?”

“Destined for a fiery demise, I’d say.” He clarified somewhat teasingly.

             “And you’re okay with that?” She asked cautiously, as if he’d say ‘No’.

Kylo Ren thought for a moment, was he okay with that? He could be done with it and just kill her to sever all ties with her. Granted, if the bond had officially taken hold, he would be more miserable than he could have ever imagined. He had no choice in the matter-- No, that was a lie, he realized. He had every choice in the matter and against his better judgement, he chose her every time. “I suppose I’m stuck with you, Ms. Novafall.”

            What made it worse for both of them, was that Ashlyn would choose him too. Something inside her made her want to be near him. The same man that infuriated her, caused her nothing but aggravation and pain. She wanted this in the end. “Well, Commander. It seems we’ve reached our downfall.”

            “So it would seem. We’ll be feeling more in-tune with one another, drawing power from each other… and quite possibly.” He paused thinking how to word this. “Our desire for one another might be out of control for a while.”

            “Desire for one another?” Ash asked, she knew what he meant, she just couldn’t believe it.

He reached for her, in any way a primal being listening to only their hormones would. He had missed her that week, he missed her touch, her existence. “I think you know what I mean.”

            She did, but she wouldn’t succumb to that so easily as she pulled back. Kylo Ren was practically hovering over her as she pulled away as much as she could, her back hard against the arm of the couch. “But we need rules.”

            He sighed in aggravation. “State your rules clearly, Ms. Novafall. Lest you expect me to disobey and break them.”

She gently placed her hand on his chest, slowly pushing him up and away from her as she sat up again. “We take this slow. There’s so much going on that I don’t fully grasp and I don’t want to get sucked into it with no way of getting out.”

            He grinned evilly. “I don’t think you understand just how strong this bond pull can get.”

“That’s **_exactly_** why I want to take it slow.” Ash explained.  

            “What I mean is, soon you might not be able to control it.” Kylo clarified.

She smirked. “Then I expect you to be a gentleman and help me.”

            She was frustratingly difficult and unfortunately, he respected her for that. “As you wish.” He said, sitting up fully now so he was no longer hovering over her.

“Besides, it seems like _you’re_ the one having a difficult time controlling it.” She said teasingly.

            He quirked his brow. “Is that so?”

Ash shrugged. “You were the one all over me.”

            Kylo Ren grinned wickedly, mischief taking over his expression. “I’m fine taking it slow. I just think you’ll be the one with the problem.”

Ash scoffed. “Again, I’m fine.”

             “We’ll see.” He said, removing himself from the couch and grabbing his helmet. “You won’t be able to stay away the worse it gets.”

“Doubtful, Commander.” She said with a smile, only losing it to see his mind running a mile a minute. “Oh no, what are you thinking?”

            “I’m thinking you’ll be the first to crack, so why not make this fun?” He suggested. “If you give into temptation first, which I know you will.” She rolled her eyes in response. “You have to spend two weeks training. I want your undivided attention.”

            She narrowed her eyes. “Fine. If I win, then no training for two weeks.”

“Deal.” He simply grinned, leaning down and kissing the top of her head endearingly. The sensation of contact rushing through Ash as he did. His grin widening as he felt the girl below him shudder at the feeling. “Oh, this is going to be fun.” He said mockingly before heading for the door.

            “You won’t win this one, Ren!” Ash called out after him.

“Darling--” He said, placing the helmet over his head. “I’ve already won.” With that, he left her apartment and taking a piece of Ashlyn Novafall with him as he did.

 


	19. Kylo Ren Plays Dirty... And Then Ruins Everything

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kylo Ren is a jerk and things are getting crazy... and then something bad happens.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey there! Have some crazy tension piled up into this really long chapter with some fluff. We need fluff. We haven't had enough cute Kylo/Ash moments. 
> 
> Also, here's your warning for violence. 
> 
> Idk, I guess consider it NSFW. Maybe Not safe for life, honestly.

* * *

 

         Ashlyn groaned in pain as she stared up at the ceiling of the training room. Soon, she was staring up at the curious blond that stared back down at her. “Ms. Novafall, if you cannot focus during our sessions then why are you wasting my time?” Phasma asked, although she wasn’t fully serious.

        “I’m sorry, Captain.” She said, wincing slightly as Phasma helped her to her feet. “It’s been a crazy past two weeks.”

        “With Ren being gone suddenly, I’m sure.” Phasma said somewhat knowingly.

Ash tried to dismiss her accusation. “What he does is no concern of mine.”

       Phasma gave her a pointed look. “Then why does it constantly mess up your concentration, I wonder?” Ash deflated slightly, looking down at her staff on the floor before picking it up. Her body aching from the movement as she stood back up straight. “I won’t pretend to know what is going on, nor do I truly care. It’s none of my concern. However, when you’re here I expect you to focus.”

       “You’re right.” Ash said. “It’s just lately--” She tried to find the words. “Everything that could go wrong, has.”

         Phasma nodded. “Just be careful of the fire. The flame is pretty but the burn will hurt.”

         Ash smiled slightly. Something about her tone reminded her of Sid. “I very seldom follow the wise advice of those looking in.”

         Phasma returned with her own sympathetic smile. “I’d be lying if I said I’ve listened to my own advice. However, that does not make the statement any less true. You’re dancing with danger, Ashlyn.”

        She was, yet it was such a rush of adrenaline. The idea of how dangerous Kylo Ren was brought nothing but a sense of trouble and yet, she was enjoying the probability of losing everything. It was intoxicating. “Some of us just never learn, I guess?” She offered, receiving another pointed look from Phasma.

       “Maybe it’s time you took another look.” Phasma said as she raised her staff. “Again.” She commanded, striking down with her staff and making contact with Ashlyn’s as she raised her within the last possible second. “Not everything ends the way we hope it will.”

       “I’ve yet to figure out what kind of ending I want.” Ash said, pushing back on Phasma’s staff to unlock her own. She quickly swung her staff around her head and brought it back down with a strong attack.

       Phasma dodged, forcing her staff upward and swatting at Ashlyn’s upper arm and making contact. Ash stepped back, missing another strike from Phasma as she swung her own staff to counter. “Besides, I think I can handle my own now!” Ash said, swinging again.

         “I believe you can.” Phasma agreed with a smirk as she countered. “However, I know Ren and I know what he is capable of.”

           Ash frowned as she danced around Phasma’s attack. “What is **_that_** supposed to mean?”

         “From one girl to another--” Phasma couldn’t believe she was having _girl talk_ with Ashlyn, however, she felt she owed the girl the courtesy. “He’s selfish. In the end, it’s always what he wants and not what anyone else wants. His motives are purely selfish.”

         “Perhaps he could surprise you.” Ash said, dodging another swing as she brought her own staff back.

        “Nothing surprises me anymore, Ashlyn.” Phasma said, with that, Ashlyn swung her staff and stopped just as she would have made contact with Phasma’s neck. The staff mere centimeters from her neck as Ash grinned. “But perhaps, I can accept when I’m wrong.” She said, admitting the defeat as Ashlyn pulled back, proud of herself for winning. Or at least, she thought she had until Phasma swiped her feet out from under her with her staff. Ash flipped, landing with a thud on her back. “But I’m always prepared to be wrong, and so should you.”

         Ash groaned again. “And when I’m wrong about Ren, you have my permission to gloat.”

          Phasma smirked, helping Ashlyn up on her feet once more. “A Captain does not gloat.”

          “Well, thank goodness for that.” Ash joked.

“So you expect to be wrong then?”

           She frowned. “Not exactly. I do believe people have their intentions but anyone can be swayed. Isn’t that what makes us human?”

          “While I agree, it’s also human nature to accept the faults of others even if it means hurting ourselves in the end.”

          Ash pulled at the bottom of her tanktop, smoothing out some creases from falling as she looked at Phasma. “You know, this is the first time you’ve taken any interest in my life.”

          “Not true.” Phasma said. “Your life is quite interesting. However, I’m also thankful it’s not mine.” Ash laughed in reply. “I’m serious. It’s easy for me to give my advice and two-cents, however, I’m not in your position. Whatever you see in Ren is obviously completely different than what I could ever fathom. Commander Ren and I have always had a very professional relationship, as well as the General. We came into ranks around the same time. With that relationship comes respect. In turn, I respect you for what you’ve brought to us and what you’ve ultimately done to our moody Commander.”

        “I’ve done nothing to him.” Ash said as the door to the training room slid open, revealing the man in question. His mask was on and was off almost as immediately as the door slid closed behind him. He shook his fabulous hair out, it falling into place as perfectly as ever before he gave a smirk into the direction of the women across the way. Ash felt her heart catch in her chest as her breathing hitched slightly.

        “Really now?” Phasma teased, noticing immediately the sudden mood shift in the room as Kylo Ren came closer. “Commander, she’s all yours.”

         ‘ _If only she knew.’_ Ashlyn heard in her mind, only causing her cheeks to turn red as heat rushed to her face. “Thank you, Captain.” He said. Phasma had caught the sudden blush on Ashlyn’s face but said nothing. Her smirk said it all as she took her leave and left the two in the training room.

         He was still smirking as Ashlyn hit his arm. “You’re the worst.”

“Am I?” He said smugly. “I dare say, I don’t know how you mean.”

            “You know exactly what you did.”

“If you let that bother you so much, _dear”_ He said. “You might as well just give up the bet now and surrender.”

            Ash glared. “Never.” She watched as Kylo Ren walked passed her and placed his helmet down and out of the way. “So what are we learning today?”

            “I haven’t taught you how to use your saber properly.” He admitted. “A lot has happened in the past week.”

            “Seriously.” She agreed, causing him to chuckle in reply.

“It’s not the worst news.” Kylo said.

            “Only when you turn it into a ploy for your ultimate gain.” She said.

He was grinning now. “Isn’t everything? Ready your saber.” Ash obeyed and grabbed her saber, preparing herself as the amber blade shot out. The feeling of power resonating from her hands and up through her arms and to her center. She loved the power that came from it but knew that ultimately it could make her power hungry. She had to be careful. “Now, close your eyes.”

            She frowned at first before ultimately deciding to go with it. He wouldn’t do anything _too_ awful to her. At least, she hoped. She knew she was broadcasting that concern as he chuckled. He had a trick up his sleeve as well as he walked over to the training rack and grabbed the black orb on one of the shelves. The orb housed a training device that shot randomly timed lasers. Harmful stun lasers that would ultimately not cause her any pain, just annoyances. He walked back over to Ash as he tossed the device in the air. It floated gently, humming slightly, which caused Ash’s face to contort slightly. “What are you doing, Kylo?”

            “I’d focus if I were you.” He warned her.

“On wha--OW!” She shouted, opening her eyes to see what the hell had zapped her hand. She saw the small droid and glared at the smirking Kylo Ren. “A little warning would have been nice!” It fired again, causing her to jump as it hit her hand.

            “I did warn you.” He said as the droid fired again, this time Ash blocked it. “Close your eyes, cheater.”

            She stuck her tongue out at him before shutting her eyes and focusing. It didn’t take long for her focus to come back as she blocked the next shots that fired randomly. However, something was beginning to cloud her mind as she began to feel a presence behind her. She blocked another laser, the sound clashing off the blade of her lightsaber. Then, she felt his hot breath on her ear. His head was right next to hers and she felt every part of her having more than just a hard time resisting the urge to turn around and take him. Then he chuckled at her thoughts, once again she was broadcasting.

            Fine, two could play at that game. As she felt him press up against her back, she waited for a few counts before ducking at the last possible moment. The laser hit Kylo Ren right in the shoulder as Ashlyn rolled out of the way just in time to see him flinch back. He looked at her, glaring as he threw his hand up, the droid flying across the room and smashing into the wall opposite him.

            Ash retracted her saber, forcing herself to stand up as she attached it to her belt. Her hands flying up in defense. “You started it.” She said.

            “Started what?” He asked, walking closer to her. His expression unreadable as he stalked forward. Ash matching his steps backwards until her back found the wall. His arms stretched out as his hands planted harsh on either side of her.

            “Started what?” She repeated. “You’re cheating!”

“You never said I couldn’t.” He said. “I told you to state your terms and you never said I couldn’t persuade you to lose.”

            Ash’s jaw dropped as she stared at him incredulously. “Again, anything to get the upper hand.”

            “You’re just mad you didn’t think of it first.” Kylo said.

She narrowed her eyes in reply. “Fine, then we need to establish the rules for this game.”

            “I believe it’s too late for that.” He snorted.

“Then at least let me understand the rules!” She said, suddenly feeling her stomach swarm wildly with butterflies as she felt him press against her. He was unbelievable close and it was becoming more and more impossible to not reach up and grab his face. By the stars, she needed to keep her pants on at this point. “What is considered losing?”

            He thought for a moment, perhaps he could be kind as to let her set the pace here. “Where would you like to draw the line?”

            She scoffed. “How noble of you to let me pick. I believe kissing the other person is where it ultimately ends.”

            “That’s fair.” He said.

“That’s for **_all_** kissing, Ren.” She said with a glare. “It doesn’t matter where, your lips touch me and you lose.”

            He smirked. “You’re learning how to play the game.”

Ash shook her head. “I’m learning how to play _your_ games. I need to be five steps ahead.”

            “Are we allowed to sabotage?” He asked.

“To what extent?” She asked.

            “Well--” He began, his arms lowered slowly, finding their way down her body until they ultimately gripped her hips. “Where do you draw the line?”

            Her head was fogging up really good as he touched her. The contact sending waves of something else through her body. Little did she know, he was feeling it too. However, he was better at hiding it. Ash’s heart was thudding in her chest, she was almost certain it would burst through her chest cavity and fall right onto the floor. “This is fine.” She breathed.

            His hands moved lower now, cupping her buttox and forcing her upwards. Her legs now wrapping around his waist as he held her firmly by her behind. “This?”

            She closed her eyes, unsure if she could even look at him right now. By the stars, he would give in now if she asked him to. And boy, did he want her to. “Fine.” She forced. “But there is no touching--” She swallowed hard. “Other parts.”

            He chuckled darkly. “I can live with that.” Slowly, he let Ashlyn down. She nearly didn’t find her footing as he did. Kylo Ren backed away, grinning almost evilly as he did. “You can always give up now. You’re struggling.”

            Ash shook her head, inhaling deeply before trying to reclaim her composure. “You’re playing dirty, Kylo Ren.” She said. “But just remember, I can too.”

            Kylo smirked. “I’m looking forward to it.”

Ashlyn was almost too grateful as Kylo Ren left the training room. If he kept playing this way, she was going to lose and she just couldn’t give him the satisfaction.

* * *

            Ashlyn could be just as devious, and she proved that during the next meeting with General Hux and other important parties of StarKiller a few days later. Unlike previous meetings, Ashlyn actually set next to Kylo Ren, the two sitting at the far end of the table and the opposite side of Hux. Hux began explaining their progress and the round-the-table style meeting began as officials began updating the General and their current statuses.

            At this point, Ashlyn’s hand had found the thigh of the Force User next to her. She could feel his defenses drop as he realized how much damage that stationary hand could cause. He knew she couldn’t go too far, it was in their rules and Ash was a sucker for rules. However, once her hand slowly moved up his thigh, growing dangerously close, he began to lose his own focus. Perhaps she could play dirty. Kylo Ren was so distracted, he didn’t hear Hux the first two times he said his name. “REN!” Hux yelled.

            Kylo jumped, licking his lips quickly as he focused. “I have nothing to report.” He said quickly. “Nothing has changed.”

            Hux glared. “Nothing?”

He looked physically pained as he shook his head. The different sensations from her touch causing his jaw to tighten as he simply shook his head. Ash had slowly removed her hand, trying to hide her smirk as she coughed, trying to hide the laughter that came with it. Oh, she was going to pay... of that, he was certain.

 

   

* * *

        

            It didn’t take long for Ren to strike back. A few days after that she had come to his apartment to study. Albeit, she was skeptical. She tried avoiding sleeping in his bed, especially during this bet. He wasn’t playing fair and she just had a feeling he’d push as many buttons as possible. She wasn’t wrong as he came out of his bathroom only wearing pants. He sat down next to her, smirking internally as she frowned.

            By the stars, he was good looking. Especially without a shirt on. Ashlyn tried to keep her eyes down in the large book before her. “Is your next plan to get completely naked, Ren?”

            His grin was wicked. “Would you like me to?”

She rolled her eyes, trying her hardest not to look at his bare chest. “Teach me about Force Push.”

            “It’s the same concept as Force Levitation.” He said with boredom laced in his words. “Use your mind to push the object away.”

            “Can I push _you_ away?” He snickered as she continue looking through the book. “How about Force Persuasion?”

            “You definitely do **not** want me to teach you that right now.” He was being somewhat nice, and also somewhat leery about teaching her something she could possibly use against him. “Especially with our little bet.”

            She was somewhat grateful at his honesty as she looked up at him. Immediately she was reminded of his bare chest and groaned. “Put on a shirt!”

            “I believe I deserve payback after your little stunt in our meeting the other day.” He said, a little ticked off.

            “Pretty sure you don’t, as that was me getting even with you.” Ash said, suddenly noticing just how close he was as he leaned closer. “I’m not going to give in because you’re shirtless.”

            “That’s just a bonus.” He said and soon Ash realized she was lying down now and Kylo Ren was crawling on top of her, his arms on either side of her. “You’ll give in, your will is not as strong as you think.”

            Her heart was racing again as he lowered himself to now resting on his elbows. He was impossibly close as he hovered over her, his body perfectly aligned with hers. She did the only thing she could do, her last attempt to fight back as she brought her hands to his hair and began playing with it mindlessly. The contact helping neither of their cases as she did. “It looks like neither is yours.”

            He inhaled sharply, his eyes closing without really meaning too as he took in the sensation of her touching him. The little jolts of electricity surging through his body as the energy came from her fingertips.

            Ashlyn knew this was her only chance, and perhaps her only shot at winning this. With a forceful push, she rolled Kylo Ren over, and straddled his hips. Now she had the upperhand as he looked up with her, slight concern on his face. “Now I can do what I want.” she said.

          “Please do.” He said teasingly, causing Ash to blush.

          “I’d be careful, Ren.” She warned as she gently placed her hands on his bare chest. “I have the upperhand.”

          “Do you?” He asked, propping himself up on his elbows. He was mere centimeters away from her face now. If she moved forward even just a little, she’d lose and it would all be over. “Perhaps you're right where I want you.” He had that sly smirk on his lips, the one she always wanted to smack right off his perfect face. This time, however, she wanted nothing more than to kiss him. Still, the wanting need to smack him was there. His arrogance was always deserving of it in her mind.

            She would have given in, he knew that too in the way she looked at him. He was ready for her to, he was ready to be the overall victor here. In the end, it would make things a lot easier if she did. He had been finding it harder to stay strong and not falter. Something about the Force Bond made everything harder to ignore especially that they now felt **_everything_**.

            Kylo Ren sighed with visible frustration as he fully sat up and almost causing Ash to fall off his lap. “Go hide, someone’s here.”

            Ash then felt it too, the presence at the door. While she couldn’t see ultimately who it was, it was definitely a presence not to be ignored as she stumbled backwards off Kylo Ren’s lape and darting for the bathroom.

            Kylo Ren reluctantly put his shirt back on and stormed over to the door. The door sliding open forcefully due to the aggravated Force User. “My apologies, sir.” It was a very, **_very_** nervous flight crew member. “It has been a week and I wanted to approach the scenario of the inside of your ship. I had not heard from you if you had a plan of action for fixing it as you typically ask the head of maintenance to work on your personal ship and--” The man suddenly couldn’t breathe, his hands immediately finding his way to his neck as he tried to intake any quick breath he could.

            “ **This** is what was so important to disturb me?” He asked, as he glared at the man. His arm stiff as he held the man still, watching him suffocate before him.

            “Sir--” The man gasped, his voice raspy due to the lack of oxygen. “P-p-please!”

            Kylo Ren was pissed at the crew member. Granted, it was his fault for not instructing Ashlyn to fix his ship sooner, that didn’t matter. Not while he was interrupted and most certainly not when he was about to win.

            He hadn’t realized the presence that emerged from the bathroom then, not until he felt enough of a push that ultimately removed his concentration and caused him to stumble sideways. He sharply turned to the other Force User in the room, her hands in front of her. She had pulled enough power from their now shared reserve and pushed him over just enough to break his concentration. Granted, he hadn’t been too focused to prevent her from doing so. She got lucky.

            Kylo Ren was furious as he looked at her, although nervous, she matched his angry expression. She looked at the crew member quickly. “Go.” She demanded. “Now!” He didn’t take the opportunity for granted as he ran from the room; his freedom earned by the head of maintenance.

            But now, they had a bigger issue as the door to Kylo Ren’s apartment slid closed and now she was left alone with the man who was practically radiating anger and hatred through his entire being. “Do you realize what you’ve done?” He said, storming to the middle of the room to find his helmet. He had business to attend to.

            “He did nothing!” Ash argued.

“He interrupted us.” Ren said as though the reasoning was justifiable by any means.

            Ash didn’t budge. “So you almost **_kill_** him?” He said nothing as he grabbed his helmet, placing it on his head as he began to leave. “Where are you going now?”

            “He saw you here.” The distortion was worse, especially since Ash understood what Kylo Ren was implying.

            Ash panicked. “That doesn’t mean anything! Everyone knows I’m training with you.”

“He also saw you defy me.” Kylo Ren added, heading for the door.

            “Kylo, you can’t!” She said, attempting to follow him.

He immediately turned to face her again, without even raising a finger, Ash found herself unable to move. “Stay here.” He commanded, his voice dark as he stormed out of the room.

 

* * *

 

         Ash still was unable to move for what felt like an eternity until finally she was released from his hold. She ran for the door, only to be stopped by a somewhat aggravated Captain Phasma as she forced her way into the apartment. “He said you’d try to run.”

         “He’s going to kill that man!” Ash tried. “I have to stop it!”

“And if you do, the base could find out about you and Ren; then what?” Phasma explained, walking into the room and causing Ashlyn to step backwards to match her steps.

            “You’re all just okay with him killing whomever he pleases?” She asked incredulously.

            Phasma pursed her lips. “No, but we understand what must be done.”

She shook her head. “That’s madness; complete insanity.”

             “Would you rather suffer the consequence if anyone found out?” Phasma said. “As awful as it is, Ashlyn, he’s doing this for your own safety.”

            “But nothing was going on, I’m supposed to be here training. The worst thing I had done was push Kylo Ren away from the altercation.”

            “And this is your first lesson in politics.” Phasma said with overall sympathy. “Regardless of what you two were doing, you defied the Commander in front of a subordinate. Rumors spread quickly here, I’m sure you’re aware. Any rumor can and will come back to haunt you once it spreads. Do not ever forget that.” She watched as Ashlyn’s expression changed all together, tears streaming down her cheeks as her hands found the sides of her head before ultimately gripping at her red locks. “Ashlyn?” She asked, concern taking over.

            “I can feel him killing him…” Ash said quietly, her voice cracking as she tried to regain some composure in front of the Captain. She could feel not only the anger within Kylo Ren as he did it, but she could also sense the fear coming from the worker ultimately due to Kylo feeling it as well. Ash sank to her knees, clutching her head tightly, her hair entwined in her fingers as she felt pain and anguish. She couldn’t even let it out, it was like all her emotions were behind a wall and she couldn’t break through.

            Phasma, concerned and also unsure how this was happening, kneeled down next to Ashlyn, placing her hand on the girl’s back and gently rubbing. She didn’t know how to help the redhead in front of her, if she could at all.

            Almost as quickly as the feeling came, the pain and fear subsided. It was over and yet Ashlyn still held onto that emotion as she finally let out a sob. What was she getting herself into? Phasma was right, she was dancing with fire. This was Kylo Ren, he was a monster and yet she was now playing the most dangerous game that only seemed to get worse as the bond grew. “You need to focus, Ash.” Phasma reminded her. “This is the part where you prove how strong you really are. If this is the path you’re going down, then you need to be ready for things such as this.”

            Ash said nothing as she continued to sob, unable to shake the feeling that was overwhelming her. In that moment, she felt weak. She felt the weight of everything crashing down on her and as much as she wanted to be ignorant to it all, she knew she couldn’t stay that way forever.

* * *

 

             When Kylo Ren returned, he looked like he was in physical pain. His body was stiff as he walked into the room. He was somewhat relieved to had run into Phasma as he went to track down the crew member. He had demanded that she was to keep Ashlyn in his apartment with a very brief description of what had happened. Basically that the man saw him and Ashlyn and that she defied him before his very eyes. Phasma understood what needed to be done, regardless if she liked it or not. That was their understanding, even Hux knew it, Kylo Ren took care of the dirty work. This was one of those unfortunate times.

           He saw Phasma kneeling next to Ashlyn, she had stopped sobbing but was still visibly upset. “Leave.” His command sounding more menacing with the distortion of his mask.

           Phasma stood. “I think you’ve done enough today, Ren.”

“That’s not for you to decide, Captain.” His voice like venom as Phasma reluctantly left the room, knowing there was nothing more she could do.

            He hated seeing her this way, but he knew what he had to do. It was for her at the end of the day, he knew she’d never accept that but it was true. He also didn’t need her to accept that, he was justified in his mind. Kylo Ren removed his helmet, tossing it onto the couch as he carefully walked over to Ashlyn before crouching down in front of her. “There are people who, without truly understanding or meaning to, could hurt us just with words. If he were to mention at all what he saw today, you being here or your blatant defiance, that could have spread. If the rumor came out that you were strong like me or the idea that maybe you could be stronger, that could come back to a power greater than you or I. If it did, we would suffer a fate worse than his.” Kylo said gently, yet still with a harshness as though he were scolding a child. “Do you understand?”

            Ash shook her head, looking at him. “It can’t always lead to the death of someone. That can’t always be the answer.”

            “I will do anything to protect my reputation as well as yours.” Kylo said with force. “I’ve told you before, you’re my apprentice, and in being so I will do whatever I have to do to keep you safe.”

            “If it means killing innocent people--” She tried.

Kylo interrupted her. “He was at the wrong place at the wrong time.”

            “You were going to kill him anyway.” Ash accused. “You were choking him, I could feel it.”

             “Intimidation is far more powerful than killing him.” Kylo said, his eyes narrowing. “I wasn’t going to kill him.”

            “You still shouldn’t have done that to begin with.”

He exhaled sharply, visibly growing more annoyed as the conversation continued. “You clearly do not understand how important my reputation is around here.”

            “It’s selfish.”

“And it will keep you alive.” He snapped, noticing her visibly flinch as he did. He sighed with aggravation, if only he could make her see things his way. Yet, he knew Ashlyn. It was within her being, she would never see too deeply into the darkness of it all.

            He moved so he was now sitting next to her, their shoulders touching and for the first time that week, Ashlyn hated it. “No.” She said, forcing herself to her feet. “I won’t turn to you for comfort, not this time.” He let her leave knowing he really didn’t have a choice then. Yet, he would also depend on the Force Bond to bring them back together sooner rather than later even though he knew it would have been better to apologize. He’d rather the easy way out. Things didn’t happen that way for Kylo Ren.

 

 


	20. Everyone Is Expendable On StarKiller

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ashlyn learns she does have a choice.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's late. Have a chapter.

* * *

 

            Ashlyn didn’t show up for training or venture anywhere near the 100’s. Instead, she stayed close to maintenance as much as possible. Even in her dreams, Kylo Ren couldn’t get to her. She rebuilt that wonderful brick house she had made so long ago to keep him away. It had worked and Kylo Ren didn’t even try to push her any further.

            However, that feeling had to begun to gnaw at her once again. That pull to be near him. She wouldn’t give in so easily, the bond wouldn’t win. Albeit, everything was becoming increasingly more difficult as every other minute she’d be thinking about him or wanting to be near him. It was getting worse and worse to the point where even her crew was noticing.

           Ashlyn had work to do on base, luckily for her it was enough to distract her as much as possible. Especially when she wandered to the cavern with the Kyber Crystals. It evened her out just enough to let her feel somewhat normal. As she readied to leave her apartment, she felt _something_ on the other side of her apartment door. At first, she thought it was Kylo Ren seeking her out, due to the sheer aggravation coming from it. Her initial reaction was to run, however this was a different sensation. It didn’t feel as _powerful_. She inhaled deeply, ready for anything as the door slid open revealing a ticked off, yet smiling, General Hux that had been waiting for her. “Ms. Novafall, do you have a moment?” He asked.

          “Well, I was heading to--”

He interrupted her. “Wonderful. Come walk with me.” His tone dry and devoid of anything but annoyance. He clearly was not taking ‘no’ for an answer.

            Ash grimaced. “Am I in trouble, General?”

“More than you could possibly fathom, my dear.” Hux said, turning around and nodding towards the hallway he came from. The same hallway that ultimately would take Ash to her destination. Perhaps she could escape this scolding if it turned south. “Please.” Ash reluctantly agreed as she walked side by side with the General, her mind racing to all the possibilities over what she could be in trouble over. “Has the Commander ever explained or even mentioned our Supreme Leader to you?”

            That name came up again, she had heard it a few times now. “Not really, just that he runs this whole operation.”

Hux snorted. “That is a slight understatement, but yes. He is in command of everything that we do here within the First Order. He’s also a Force User like yourself. Commander Ren has some benefit and misfortune to being his apprentice.”

            “He’s the one who taught Kylo Ren?” Ash asked, finally receiving a piece to the bigger puzzle that was Kylo Ren.

“To an extent, there are a lot of variables within the story of Kylo Ren and how he came to be who he is here. The same goes for most of us in charge.” He explained. “Supreme Leader Snoke runs this entire operation how he sees fit, he also controls our actions as well. Kylo Ren, if you think of it this way, is the enforcer, while I am the architect. When there is an obstacle in our way, either I will find a way around it or Kylo Ren will break it down. This is how it’s always worked and it’s continued to work this way.”

            “Is this a warning to stay away from the Commander?” Ash asked impatiently. “Many people have already tried that.” Her mind immediately wandered to Sid. He was the unofficial leader of warnings when it came to Kylo Ren.

            Hux chuckled. “Not exactly. I know you are having trouble accepting his actions regarding the flight crew member. I came to explain how the politics of this base work.”

She sighed in aggravation, she really didn’t care or want to relive the events of a few days prior. “I get it, power is everything and you have to maintain it by any means necessary.”

           “While that is true, there’s something else.” Hux said. “Snoke is a powerful Force User. Now, between you and me, I truly believe Kylo Ren surpasses him greatly, however, there is still that internal power struggle. Kylo Ren has worked very hard to block Snoke from learning about certain things. Consider it having the upper hand, especially when it comes down to whatever it is the two of you are up to. If Snoke were to ever catch on to you two and deemed it a conflict of interest… Well, we would no longer be having such wonderful chats.”

            Ash was really not in the mood to talk about her current status with Kylo Ren, whatever the hell that may be in the first place. This bond was bringing them closer but was it something they even wanted? Was it all the Force making them feel this way or was it something else? “Why are you telling me this?”

            “While the Commander and I don’t typically see eye-to-eye, I do respect him as my equal.” He said, with a smirk. “And between you and me he’s been more tolerable since you’ve arrived.” Ash couldn’t help but to unwillingly smirk at that. “But I am here to warn you to be careful, especially around Kylo Ren. Anyone could report you two and if the Supreme Leader does not like what is happening, he will shut it down. Do you understand?”

            Ashlyn nodded. “I do, and I appreciate the warning. I just wish every time we mess up it didn’t lead to the potential death of an innocent bystander.”

            Hux sighed. “Believe me, neither do I. We lose more personnel thanks to the Commander and his methods. However, they’ve been proven to be the best methods and it is why we are still in power.” Hux explained. “As selfish as the man is, he does what needs to be done and while we want to believe that makes him an awful person, it also should be remembered that he does this for the safety of others. Believe it or not, Kylo Ren does have a reason for the things he does… even if it’s an awful reason.”

            “That doesn’t mean I forgive him.”

“And you shouldn’t.” Hux said with as much honesty as possible, causing Ash to be slightly surprised. Was this conversation not to help her get over the whole ordeal? “It’s never about forgiving, it’s about understanding why he does what he does.” Hux said. “You can be mad at him all you like, but he will continue to handle the more difficult situations on StarKiller.” The two stopped walking as they approached the south wall entrance. “How is my base coming along?” Hux asked, changing the subject altogether

            “I’m still working on the hookups for the cavern. Hopefully we’ll have some readings translating to the main unit today.” Ash informed him. “It’s a big project, but it’s moving along.”

            Hux nodded in approval. “Good to hear.” He said, beginning to walk away. “I enjoy our little talks, Ashlyn. I’d just appreciate if they weren’t always over the death of someone.”

            Ash smirked. “Take that up with the Commander. If he keeps killing people, we’re going to keep having these talks.”

            “So I fear.” Hux said. “Stay out of trouble, Ms. Novafall.” Ash said nothing as she watched General Hux walk further down the hallway. He was right, she didn’t really have to forgive Kylo Ren, but did that make what he did and continue to do okay? She honestly wasn’t sure and she didn’t want to think about it as she ventured outside of StarKiller and to the cavern.

           

 

* * *

 

            “Ash, what type of readings should I be seeing from these crystals?” Taka’s voice came over the commlink; Ash could hear Grim yelling about something not working in the background back inside StarKiller.

            She rubbed her temples, not in aggravation over Taka asking but moreso the whole scenario at hand. They had been working for hours at trying to find the connection between the weapon and the power source. Both ends had not been talking to one another and it was not what Ashlyn wanted to deal with right then. “You should see a spike up to 40k. We’ll know if they’re working together if you do.” She said with little to no emotion as she continued to hook up the control panel inside the cavern.

            “I’m not getting anything.” Taka said in frustration. “You know, it would be much easier if I was allowed down there with you to see the readings directly from the source.”

“You know I can’t let you do that, Taka.” Ash reminded him without truly giving him a reason why. He still understood.

            “I know.” He said. “I’ll let you know when I see a spark over here.”

Ashlyn rewired a few component cables, perhaps that had been the issue for Taka not being able to find a reading. She installed the new panel for the control center, unable to reign in her thoughts as she wondered how long it would take before Kylo Ren destroyed this one too.

            ‘ _Still thinking about me, I see.’_

‘ _Get out of my head, Ren.’_

            ‘ _Can’t. We’re connected now.’_ Even in her head his voice was just as smug as ever. He had tried to make amends, or rather, figure out a way to do so. He was running out of books to bring as a peace offering, now it had to be with words and Kylo Ren just wasn’t so good with sentiment. He had hoped the bond would ultimately bring them together again, but she was being stubborn and the longer she hid from him, the worse it was for both of them. ‘ _Let me see you.’_

            _‘Not happening._ ’

‘ _You can’t stay mad forever.’_

            ‘ _Try me.’_ She threatened as she brought up her commlink again. “Try now, Taka.”

There was silence before Taka came over the commlink. “I got a jump. It was small but it was there.”

            “I think I’m on the right track. I’ll let you know when to try again.” Ash confirmed as she slid back under the control panel and into the inner wirings.

‘ _You seem more balanced today.’_ Kylo observed. ‘ _Perhaps you’re hiding with the Kyber crystals, that would keep you somewhat stable while being away from me._ ’

            ‘ _If you try to find me, I will kick my foot so far up your--’_ “I saw another jump.” Ash heard on the commlink.

‘ _I’m up for the challenge.’_ Ash ignored the annoying voice in her head as she reworked a few components on the motherboard. “Hit it again, Taka.”

            After a few moments, Taka came over the commlink again. “It’s stable. The connection is working from the cavern to the mainframe. We’re all good here.”

 Ash grinned, feeling successful in having done a good job. “Alright, you guys rest up and head for dinner. I’m going to finish up here.”

            “Will do, fearless leader.” Taka said, causing Ash to laugh as she turned off the commlink.

She crawled out from under the control panel and stood up; brushing off any dirt that was on her black jumper only to jump at the sudden voice in the room. “I really hate him.” He was talking about Taka, of course.

             Ash glared. “You must really want my boot up your ass.”

His lips twitched ever so slightly into a smirk. “Evidently.”

           “Why are you here?” She asked, although she already knew the answer.

“I want to apologize for upsetting you.”

             She frowned. “But not for killing that guy.”

He pursed his lips. “No. I stand by my decision. I’ve already explained to you why I had to do it.”

            “There has to be another way.” Ash said. “We can’t keep being responsible for the deaths of others.”

“If you can figure out another way, I’m willing to listen.” He bargained. “However, until then, I will continue to do what is necessary. Everyone is expendable here, including you and me. I’d rather not be the one on the chopping block.” Kylo took a step forward, seeing Ash take a step back, her immediate instinct to reach for her saber. Her hand hovered over it, the gesture shocking not just him but herself as well. “Are you **finally** frightened of me, Ashlyn?” His tone mocking.

            Ash frowned. “The instinct to just kick your ass right now must be really hard to ignore.”

He took her challenge as he grabbed his own saber, the red blade rushing out with a hiss and a crackle. He was smirking as Ash’s expression fell. “Well?” He asked, looking to her belt where her saber rested.

            “I thought they weren’t toys.”

“They’re not.” He said. “Consider this a lesson and a way for you to get even.”

            “And if I hurt you?” He scoffed in reply as Ash determined what else was there to lose. Perhaps she could finally make him shut up for once as she grabbed her saber and unleashed the amber blade inside. “Rules?” She asked abruptly.

            “None.” He said, swinging his saber expertly in his hand. “Just get it out of your system.” His thought was pretty simple, let her get her aggression out. Perhaps that would help the scenario in some way, shape or form.

              Like he imagined, she wasted no time in slashing at his direction. The blades clashing and hissing upon contact. Without hesitating, she pulled back and slashed again. He’d let her have her swings and attacks, he just needed to focus on blocking her as much as possible. Interestingly enough, he began to feel her pull from her own anger and aggression as her attacks began to become more and more devastating.

             Ash knew he wasn’t exerting too much energy by blocking her attacks, but she also understood that she needed this. It helped relieve her aggression and anger for what had happened. As much as she also hated to admit it, she was feeling better just being in the same room with him again. That only added to her fire as she struck with rage and passion.

             The cavern echoed with the sound of the clashing sabers, Kylo Ren fought back just a little more to keep her guessing and on her toes. The more she pulled from the anger and frustration, the more Kylo Ren was beginning to see that while Ashlyn was ultimately a grey user, she could be swayed when pushed in the ways of dark and light. That was interesting to him.

             He brought his saber down with force, causing Ashlyn to bring hers up just in time to stop him from making contact with her. He was smirking as he looked at her, their blades illuminating their faces in the dimly lit cavern. “Feeling better?” He asked.

             With as much strength as she could muster, Ashlyn pushed back on his saber and ultimately breaking their little fight apart. He back up, waiting for her next move and yet surprisingly to him, she retracted her blade. “I’m not like you.” She said. “While the power is intoxicating and I feel it more when I pull from anger and hate… I’m not like you. This isn’t me.” Ash continued. “And while this whole Force Bond thing is forcing our paths together and making us want to be with each other, I won’t let it turn me into you.”

            Kylo was taken back by that. “Making us be together?” He echoed. “What do you mean?”

“Isn’t that what it’s doing? The Force is pushing us together and making us want to be together.”

            “Is **_that_** what you think the bond is doing?” Kylo asked.

“Well, yeah--” Ash said. “It has to be the only reason you took interest in me in the first place and why I feel like I can so easily give in to you and forgive you all the time.”

            He let out an airy chuckle. “Ashlyn, the Force Bond didn’t make you do anything. It just feels worse because you can feel every little piece of it and ultimately what I’m feeling. The Bond isn’t forcing you to feel anything for me or about me, it just enhances it.”

            Her eyes went wide as the realization set in. “You’re saying I actually tolerate you.”

Kylo Ren rolled his eyes. “I believe you feel more than that for me.”

            “This is just getting worse and worse by the minute.” Ash groaned, throwing her hands up in frustration. “I can’t like you, Kylo Ren.” She explained. “You’re not good for me.”

            “And you are not good for me either.” Kylo Ren said. “If anything, you’re ruining my reputation by trying to make me a better person.”

            Ash shook her head. “This bond thing was a mistake.”

“Perhaps.” He seldom agreed. “Or perhaps it’s just what we needed to balance ourselves.” She looked at him with confusion on her face. “Think about it, Ashlyn.” He began. “I’m not exactly the easiest person to get along with, meanwhile you’re my exact opposite. Maybe that’s what we’re supposed to be, light and dark, balancing the faults of the other.”

            “But I’m not either side.” She reminded him.

“No, but you balance what I have to offer.”

            Ashlyn’s shoulders fell as she began to feel utterly defeated by the entire thing. “I just want to feel like I have some control over my life.”

            “You do.” He reminded her softly as he retracted his lightsaber and hooked it to his belt. “You have a say in what path you take. The Force is only here to guide you through it.” He cautiously and slowly stepped closer to her, this time she didn’t back away. “The Force Bond only connects us with our Force powers, it makes it easier for us to channel through one another by allowing us to feel and connect with the other. In doing so, it heightens our emotions so we can feel what the other feels. It doesn’t control us, it doesn’t control you.”

            Ash was not ignorant to the fact that Kylo Ren had come closer, even when he was standing almost on top of her as he looked down at her much shorter frame. “So, whatever it is I’m feeling for you is not a direct result of the Force?”

            “It’s just enhanced.”

“I don’t know if I can ever admit to it.” Ash said, laughing nervously. “You’ll run with it.”

            He grinned. “Then it’s probably a good thing that you don’t have to say it. I can feel it.”

He was so close now, Ashlyn was practically touching him. She wanted to, she really did. She wanted that comfort from him, but she still wasn’t happy with what he did. “I still don’t forgive you for what you’ve done.” She was brutally honest.

            “I don’t need you to.” Kylo said, returning the same tone. “I know what I’m doing and why I do it. While you may see me as a monster that lays destruction in my path, I promise it’s more calculated than that.”

            It wasn’t fair, she didn’t believe in his methods. Yet, at the same time, she began to realize he was right. Not in what he did, but that she really did have a choice overall. She didn’t have to forgive him. For once, she didn’t feel like she had to feel anything about him and was free to do so. It was liberating. “Permission for a time out?” She asked, giving in just enough to the pull she was feeling.

            His face contorted in slight confusion. “Granted?” Only when she reached forward and wrapped her arms around his waist did he realize what she meant. As Ashlyn Novafall hugged the big, bag monster for perhaps the first time ever, it took him a moment to register before he wrapped his arms around her in return. He chuckled softly at how ridiculous she was. “You don’t need to call a ‘timeout’ to our little bet to hug me, Ashlyn.”

            “I didn’t want you to take it the wrong way.” She said into his chest. She knew better, he’d find a way to make her lose over it.

“I assume this means our game will continue?” Kylo Ren asked.

             “I can’t let you win.” Ash said, pulling away just enough to look up at him. “It’s my mission now to make you lose.”

Kylo smirked. “You’re cute when you think you stand a chance.”

            “Laugh all you want, Ren. I’m going to win.” Ash said.

“Of course you are.” Kylo said teasingly as he leaned down, kissing the top of her head gently.

            “Hey, you kissed me!” Ash exclaimed.

“We’re still in time out.” He reminded her dutifully, only causing Ash to groan as she put her head back down on Kylo’s chest, feeling his chest rise and fall rapidly from his chuckling.

            “I hate you.” She said, her tone giving away that she was clearly not serious.

“I know.” He said softly. Their much needed contact, along with the consistent Force energy in the cavern seemed to level the two out internally. They were bonding; it wasn’t an easy process but they had each other. If moments like this could make everything feel so right, then maybe being connected on a deeper level wasn’t so bad.

 

* * *

 


	21. The Timeout Fiasco

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Timeout gets out of control and so do our characters. 
> 
> Oh and they have feelings.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Have some fluff!
> 
> And some kind-of NSFW stuff.
> 
> But mostly fluff.

* * *

 

_His hands gripped hers as they rested on either side of her head as his hips grinding against hers and down into the mattress. Their lips connected as their tongues battled a fiery and passionate struggle for dominance as she ground her own hips upwards to make contact with his. His hands eventually releasing hers as they slowly trailed down her body, deliberately slowing over more sensitive areas that hid just under her shirt. His hands then made their way to where the fabric ended, just at her hip bones, before finding their way under them._

_She audibly gasped into his lips as his warm hands traveled upwards, finding their way again back up to her chest. His lips finally left hers, causing her to whimper as he kissed her chin and slowly trailing down, to the underside of her chin and finally down her neck. Leaving a trail of kisses as he went slowly and intimately down her the middle of her chest._

_His hands gently grabbed at her breasts, an overwhelming need to keep touching her as his body kept trailing down hers. His hands reluctantly leaving her upper half, only for the promise of touching Ashlyn elsewhere. His hands finding the elastic on her shorts as he swiftly pulled them down, leaving only her underwear to cover her as he kissed her just below her belly button._

_Heat and tension was pooling in her lower half, just below her belly button as she felt nothing but passion and arousal. His hands gripping her hips tightly now as he began to travel lower and lower. Just as he was about to reach her most sensitive area, covered barely by the thin fabric of her underwear, Ash felt the pull into the waking world… and not a moment too soon._

 

* * *

 

            Ash immediately sat up just before the dream could get any worse, at least in her mind, worse than it already had.

‘ _Oh, come on!’_ Echoed in her head, causing her to throw her pillow over her face in embarrassment. ‘ _Couldn’t have waited five more minutes?’_

            ‘ _You’re disgusting.’_

‘ _It was your dream, darling.’_ She could hear the laughter in her head. ‘ _Perhaps you should start staying in my room again.’_

Ash tried to even her breathing, the red in her cheeks growing worse at his suggestion. ‘ _Not on your life, Ren._ ’

            ‘ _Scared of what could happen?’_ She ignored him then, tossing the pillow off her head and looking up at the sunlit ceiling. Her breathing returning to normal as she tried everything in her power to not let her dream replay in her head. She couldn’t give him that satisfaction, and wouldn’t as she got up and began to dress for the day.

            Their time out lasted only so long and their game returned to play almost as immediately as it had stopped. Kylo Ren had made it perfectly clear that he was now owed a time out of his own and would use it when he saw fit. Ashlyn didn’t have much of an argument there, he was owed a timeout if she could use one. However, he also made it perfectly clear that he could do whatever it is he wanted, within reason. That, made Ashlyn nervous. She’d have to try and stay clear of Kylo Ren for a while, hoping maybe he’d forget about that arrangement all together. She knew better. He didn’t forget anything that would ultimately benefit him.

          When her datapad buzzed on the coffee table, she was almost a little too reluctant to look at it. Knowing her luck, the Commander wanted something from her, which would somehow turn into a power struggle. She did not want to be apart of that right now.

          With reluctance, she concentrated on the datapad, levitating it from the coffee table and over to her. The Force really did make it so easy to be lazy. Ashlyn appreciated that aspect of it as she looked at the blinking message. Her services were requested in the 100’s to help repair a main console in the control room. She sighed in defeat, she was **_almost_** safe for the day. Theoretically, she could get in and out of the 100’s without even seeing Ren, it had happened before, who’s to say it wouldn’t again?

        As her luck would have it… it was probably going to blow up in her face.

 

* * *

 

         Ash had entered the main control room without too much of a performance. In fact, she would have been relieved if she hadn’t felt the dark presence looming over the 100’s. He was stalking around, she knew it. “Ms. Novafall.” She was greeted with the annoyed smile of General Hux. He always seemed annoyed when talking to her, yet most of the time it wasn’t her doing or actual annoyance with her. Surely, Hux had a lot going on. “Thank you for taking the time out of your busy schedule to assist.”

             Ash gave him a knowing smile. “It’s my job, General.”

“So it is.” He said, his smile still sarcastic but a little less hostile. “Our control panel for the incoming and outgoing transmissions is acting up.” He gestured to the panel, Ash walked over to it with Hux keeping in step. “We think something may have shorted within the circuit. I, obviously, know nothing about how to fix it.”

            “You called the right person. This is an easy fix.” She said, reaching for her screwdriver and beginning to open the back panel. “I doubt the motherboard fried, it honestly just needs a cool down, if that.”

            “You’re the expert.”

“So they tell me.” She grinned brightly, Hux unable to hide his own amusement as he began to walk away.

            “Let me know once you’re finished.” He said. “I want to make sure you’re living up to your reputation.”

            Ash rolled her eyes playfully before getting to work on the console. For once, she’d like a day where everything on StarKiller wasn’t breaking. Granted, this wasn’t the worst issue she had seen here.

            Like she had predicted, the console simply overheated. She emptied out the cooling system and rebooted the entire thing. The process took just a little longer than she anticipated, mainly because her brain kept bringing up her dream. She was losing focus and ultimately losing to the Force Bond. It really wanted those two to end up together sooner rather than later, something Ash wasn’t sure she was ready for. At least, not to that extreme.

           She sealed the panel, securing the screws as she stood up and jumping when she realized the red haired leader was standing next to her again. “You seem distracted.” He said with a smirk. “Is everything all right?”

           Ash exhaled. “Not getting much sleep is all.”

Hux nodded. “Are you sleeping arrangements still--” He didn’t get a chance to finish.

            “Not the issue.” She said quickly before changing the subject. “Your panel is fixed, everything should be working as normal.

            Ash watched as Hux wandered to the panel, pressing a few buttons to see that they were indeed functioning again. He looked back up at Ash and nodded. “Thank you for your assistance.” Ash gave him a mock salute, knowing no one else in the room was paying them any mind as she did. “Oh and Ms. Novafall?” Hux added. “Do try and keep the distractions at bay. I know it’s hard when the distraction is… **_insufferable_**.” He was obviously speaking of the Commander. Ash just snickered and went on her way, ready to dodge Kylo Ren on her quest back to maintenance.

 

* * *

 

          The hallways were buzzing just a little bit more than usual, or rather, Ashlyn was paranoid that they were. Reason being, she was focusing on anything and everything that wasn’t Kylo Ren. She was using the Force to lock onto any and every StarKiller personnel she passed, connecting with their emotions and sometimes even their thoughts as much as possible in order to keep Kylo Ren out of her head.

         She couldn’t **_not_** see it. Her dream this morning had her completely frazzled and whenever she had a clear moment to think, she could see it all over again. Ash also knew, she wasn’t the only one who could see them either. She was also ready to place blame on him and that he was projecting them into her head on purpose. She also didn’t know if that was even possible, but it made her feel just a tad better that she wasn’t enjoying the thoughts. Even Ashlyn couldn’t convince herself of the latter notion. She was enjoying it just a little too much.

        Ash had just come from the main control room on StarKiller; her service was needed to repair and calibrate one of the tracking systems in the main console. It had malfunctioned over the night. An easy fix in her eyes, but now that left her an easy target on the 100’s. Kylo Ren could be anywhere.

             ‘ _You’re very paranoid, you know that?’_

‘ _Yet here you are, listening in. I think it’s warranted.’_ Ash looked around nervously, only Troopers and 100’s crewmen were wandering around.

            ‘ _And you’re trying to keep me out with all these distractions.’_ He was talking about the emotions of everyone on the 100’s she passed. _‘If I wasn’t so proud, I’d be insulted.’_

‘ _Save it, Ren. It’s not going to trip me up.’_ He had to be close, he was almost always close when he got into her head like that. Ash turned the corner, damning herself at the nearly empty hallway. She needed to get to the elevator and back down to the safety of maintenance. He couldn’t reach her there… or rather, he wasn’t supposed to.

            ‘ _You know, I’ve been thinking…’_

_‘A dangerous past time for you’_ Ash quipped.

            He chuckled. ‘ _I think I want to call my timeout soon.’_

She sighed. ‘ _And if I decline your request?’_

            ‘ _Well, that’s not very fair. This is a game afterall and both sides should--’_

She interrupted him; the taste of her escape so close as she saw the elevator arriving. ‘ _Fine! When do you want to call timeout?’_

‘ _Time out.’_ With that, a utility door to her right slight open. Suddenly, Ash was unable to move or fight it as her body was forcefully pulled into the doorway. The utility door slid shut behind her. Ash barely had time to register the room she was in. None of that mattered though, she couldn’t focus on anything else except the Force User that was now holding her against the door.

            He looked down at her, his lips quirked up in a smirk as his hands rested on either side of her head. Kylo Ren leaned down with the intention of kissing her quickly, a gesture to hopefully leave her wanting more. That all failed when she began to kiss back and soon their kiss turned into full on carnal need for one another.

            For the first time in a very long time, Kylo Ren lost control of the situation. The two were now in a heated battle for dominance as his hands found her behind and lifted her up. Without hesitating, her legs wrapped around his waist. The red flags were being completely ignored as the two lost all focus and gave in to the bond completely.

            Ren placed Ashlyn down on one of of the generator consoles, her legs still wrapped around his waist as the two continued kissing, neither one wanting to stop as it began to progress further and further.

            Before Ash even realized it, he was unzipping her jumpsuit, his mouth now on her neck as he kissed her. She moaned; the worst thing she could have done in that moment. The sound itself drove Kylo Ren absolutely crazy as his kisses began to get hungrier and lower down her body.

            He was mindlessly pulling down at her jumpsuit, she was letting him, wiggling out of her suit, it ended up on the floor behind Kylo Ren. She was exposed now, only in her tank top and shorts.

            Her head began to unfog, a piece of her trying to regain control of the situation. This was moving way too fast, this was beyond them. The bond was in overkill today and it needed to be leashed quickly. Her shorts were off at that point, the amazing feeling of Kylo Ren kissing her thighs, getting closer to where she really wanted and needed him _‘No!’_ Her mind cried out, trying to find some semblance of control, the last point of her trying to fight the urge and need to be taken right there.

            He heard her and found the control they both needed. Kylo Ren immediately pulled away, slamming his fist into the nearby console panel and causing sparks from how hard he hit it. After a moment of silence, Ash spoke first. “I’m sorry…” Ash said quietly.

            Kylo Ren stiffened, he wasn’t angry with her. She was right in the long run, the Force Bond was making it harder for them to pull away. They could sense how each other was feeling. However, they both understood that neither one was ready to get to say it outloud. It was different than just feeling it.

           He turned back to her, his face softening as he pulled her to his chest and kissed the top of her head. “It’s not you.” He said quickly. “Don’t ever think it’s you.”

“It’s not that I don’t want to.” Ash explained, trying to find the right words. Not that she needed to, he understood. “It just feels like I’m already ten steps ahead emotionally and the rest of me isn’t. It just kind-of…”

             “Happened?”

“Yeah…” She agreed. That’s exactly how it felt, and while it was comforting to have someone else who was experiencing it, it still was a headache to deal with. What did she feel for Kylo Ren, aside from the physical attraction that was really hard to ignore some days? It felt like her brain was still trying to process that, it was like someone spoiled the end of a book for her. The Force Bond was highlighting how they felt for one another before they really knew they were feeling it. That was a lot to deal with in itself.

            Mindlessly, he kissed the top of her head again. Agreeing with every thought that had processed in her mind just then. It’s not that he wanted to listen in, it was hard not to when she broadcasted like that. “We’ll figure it out.” Kylo said somewhat hopefully. “Perhaps, we should rule out the timeout option… for our own sanity.”

            Ash nodded, looking up at the tall man next to her. She wanted to escape this situation, get far, far away from what had happened and go back to normal with him. They were way passed that. They were on their way to something more. “Can we go train or something? I feel so out of control.”

            Kylo grinned. “We’ll go to the cavern, the crystals should help bring us back to normal, but you should put your pants back on first.”

            Ash groaned, hitting his arm playfully. “This is why we can’t have nice things!” He continued to laugh as Ash got off the console she had been sitting on and grabbed her pants. She quickly put them on, noting how Kylo Ren looked away when she had. _What a gentleman_ she thought as she got into her jumper, and zipping it up all the way.

 

* * *

  


            Ash watched Kylo Ren mindlessly and effortlessly twirl his lightsaber from a far enough distance in the cavern. She was sitting on a nearby rock, her attention turning from Ren, to the crystals and back to Ren. She loved being here, it really helped keep the Force at bay, especially when Kylo Ren was around.

            She was processing everything in the past month from their kiss to this afternoon’s mishap. Their relationship was complicated and they both knew that. At the same time, they were both trying to keep some resistance for different reasons. It didn’t matter in the long run, Ash was realizing more and more that she had not only grown tolerant of Kylo Ren, but she was actually starting to like him more than she had intended.

            “Starting implies the beginning. You’ve liked me for a while now.” Ren taunted from afar. Of course, he had been listening. Then again, Ash wasn’t doing much to stop him.

 “‘Like’ is a very loose term.” Ash gave it right back. “You’ve been awful since the beginning that my tolerating you has you confused with liking.”

            He grinned. “If earlier is any indication of how we actually feel for one another.” He began, retracting his lightsaber and attaching it to his belt. “You definitely think more of me than that.”

            Ash frowned. “It’s not exactly fair. You can hear all my thoughts so you can tell what I’m feeling. You’re like a brick wall, I have nothing from you.”

“It’s better off that way.” He said impassively as he walked over to where Ash was sitting.

             “I’d like to know what you’re thinking, just get a glimpse of what you’re feeling at times.” She really did. It would have been nice to know even just a tiny bit of information about how the man felt about her.

            His face was expressionless, Ash was unable to read him until he finally spoke. “I can show you what I think about.”

 Ash’s jaw nearly dropped at the invitation. “Really?” She asked. “Right now?”

            Kylo rolled his eyes at her excitement. “Not if you don’t calm down. Close your eyes.” He instructed. Ash hesitated for a moment before finally obeying. Her eyes were closed and she felt somewhat stupid, not being able to see or hear anything.

           Then, it started. Her body began to tingle as a warm sensation overtook her. She started to see shapes begin to form in her mind, they were blurry at first, more like shadows, then the whole picture appeared.

_His thoughts began with the first time he saw Ashlyn smile, that moment in his apartment when they read the encyclopedia on the galaxy. The way she nervously would place her red hair behind her eyes. The vision then faded into the first time she felt the Force and the excitement she felt. The visions kept changing, yet the one constant was her. In every thought she was able to see, it in some way, shape or form had her. She realized he was thinking about her, he always had been._

           When the visions stopped, Ashlyn took a moment before opening her eyes, unaware that she had been silently crying. She looked up into his dark brown eyes, noticing the hints of honey and gold mixed in them. “Thank you…” Her voice quiet as she finally was beginning to understand that her feelings for Kylo Ren, whatever they were, were definitely reciprocated.

            He leaned forward, pressing his lips to her forehead and kissing her softly. “You’re welcome.” He said, pulling back just enough to look at her again.

Ash smiled, taking his hands in hers and the only thing that made the moment acceptable for both of them. “I won’t count that as you losing.” She said, referring to him kissing her forehead.

            He chuckled, pulling her to his chest for a hug. “You’re too kind.” Ashlyn was falling for Kylo Ren, whether she had intended to or not. But now she had the assurance that he was falling just as hard and just as fast as she was.

 


	22. And The Winner Is...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Someone was bound to win this little game...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy weekend everyone! 
> 
> Enjoy the thing and stuff. Remember to comment, I like hearing from y'all!

* * *

 

            Their game had calmed down from that previous misadventure, like Kylo Ren suggested, their ‘Timeout’ clause should be removed in order to prevent another… mishap. Ash eagerly agreed, mainly due to the chance of her not being able to say ‘no’ next time.

            However, Kylo Ren was still relentless when it came to their little game. Even when he barely touched her, sometimes accidentally, Ash found herself losing. He was right, her willpower was nowhere near his. If she wanted to win, she was going to have to play by his rules and she had to do it sooner rather than later, she was giving in.

             The dark and heavy presence on the other side of her apartment door that morning was enough to make her not want to answer. However, she knew hiding was almost impossible when they were so connected to begin with. “You know I can just open this on my own, right?” The distorted voice said from the other side.

            Reluctantly, but for different reasons other than not wanting to see him, Ashlyn opened the door. “How can I help you, Commander?” Almost immediately as she opened the door, she began to feel the pull towards him.

            “Can I come in?” He asked.

“I’d rather you didn’t.” She mumbled, knowing she really didn’t have a choice as the Commander walked right in anyway. “But please, make yourself at home.” She said sarcastically as the door slid closed. Now, she was trapped in the apartment with him.

            Kylo removed his helmet, gently placing it on the coffee table before plopping down on her couch. His legs extending to the coffee table as his feet rested to the right of his helmet. “I’m not here to cause problems.” His smirk said otherwise. “I actually need your assistance.”

            “You know, the proper way to do this is to issue a formal request to my department, which will be answered in three to four business days.”

He quirked an amused brow. “Does my request not get elevated to a lesser wait period? I **_am_** the Commander, after all.”

            “Now it’s five to seven days.” Ash retorted. “Demand for my services just went up. If you want it done now, I can always send Taka.” She was teasing, he knew it, but it didn’t make his glare any less menacing. “Oh, come on.” She laughed. “Only you can mess with me? If you can’t take the heat--” He was still glaring, which caused her to roll her eyes as she walked over to him and promptly sit on his lap, straddling his hips. “Get over yourself, Ren.”

            His hands found her hips almost immediately as she sat. “I’m surprised you’re being so bold, considering what happened earlier this week. And let’s not forget your dreams either.” She was still having those hot and heavy dreams, of course he was still listening in on them.

            She groaned. “Just once, can you not invade my privacy?”

“I try not to, but I’m starting to grow suspicious that you’re broadcasting those dreams on purpose now.” Kylo said with an evil smirk. “Which is fine, I’m enjoying them.”

            “Pervert.”

He simpered. “They’re _your_ dreams, starshine.”

            Ash grabbed his hands from her hips and laced her fingers with him, the contact on her hips being a little too much for her to handle at the moment. However, now this contact managed to feel more intimate. She was really setting herself up for failure at this point. “What do you need?”

            “Besides you?” He was making her blush on purpose. “I’m actually here for a real reason. I had put this off for quite some time. My ship needs tending to, the cooling unit is malfunctioning again.”

            Ash frowned, knowing why it had taken this long to fix. She wouldn’t let the events of the flight crew member bring up old wounds. “Didn’t I repair that not too long ago?”

“You did.” He said flatly.

             Ash bit her lip, sensing exactly what was the cause of the malfunction. “You broke it, didn’t you?”

Now he was frowning. “Not exactly.”

             Ash was laughing. “I think that’s exactly what happened.”

Kylo Ren let go of Ashlyn’s hands and grabbed her hips again, this time tossing her off his lap and onto the couch as he moved on top of her, keeping her from moving. She was still giggling as he did so. By the stars, her laugh was infectious to him. “Will you fix my ship?” He asked again, his tone light as she controlled her laughter, yet unable to hide her smile.

            “Fine, I’ll move your request up to today, Commander.” She said teasingly.

“And not Taka--” He said, bitterness in his voice as he said the man’s name. “Or anyone else. Just you.”

            Her smile became almost reminiscent of that smile that always made Kylo Ren crumble, as she ran her hand through his dark locks affectionately. “Just me.” She confirmed.

There it was again, that urge to lean down and kiss that smile off her lips. He wanted to, he desperately wanted to. But, Kylo Ren had a game to win. He sighed, his head falling in the space between the back of the couch and her neck. That was too close of a moment; too close of a risk where Kylo Ren could have lost then and there. “I would appreciate it if you could give in already.” He said dryly.

            “You could always give up too. Two weeks without training will go by fast.” She offered.

“So would two weeks training.” Kylo countered, his warm breath tickling her neck as he turned his head ever so slightly in her direction.

            Her smile widened as she realized he was struggling just as much as she was. “Commander, as much as I’m enjoying your company. I have work to do.” He lifted his head to look at her again, smirking as he did.

            “You’re right, I have things to attend to today as well.”

“Do you?” She asked cautiously, having a bad feeling.

            “I have to oversee the uncooperative head of maintenance and make sure she’s not sabotaging my ship as she fixes it. I hear she doesn’t like me very much.”

Ash groaned as Kylo Ren got off her. “Of course, you can’t make this easy.”

            “I have a bet to win.” He reminded her as he grabbed his helmet.

“If you distract me while working, I can’t guarantee I’ll do a good job.” Ash warned him.

             “You have a natural gift for repairing things, I think you’ll be fine.” He said, replacing his helmet over his head. “Best get to work, Ms. Novafall.” Without another word, Kylo Ren left her apartment, giving Ash a moment to breathe and ultimately feel the loss of the other Force User that was just in the same room.

              It was then Ashlyn realized she knew exactly how to win this game. All this time she had a secret weapon, yet she hadn’t realized just how powerful it was until this week. She had seen it in his thoughts and just now in the way he reacted to her in that moment, it was suddenly obvious. She knew how to make him crumble to a pile of nothing. Ashlyn Novafall was going to play dirty, she just needed to figure out how to outwit Kylo Ren.

 

* * *

 

           

            To Ashlyn’s surprise, Kylo Ren did not meet her at his ship. In fact, he wasn’t anywhere to be found in the nearby area. This was both a relief and yet at the same time a cause for alarm. What was he planning? Gosh, maybe she was paranoid?

            Ash still had a job to do, regardless of whatever he was up to. If he was even planning anything to begin with. Knowing him though, he was. She would bide her time and focus all her concentration on the task at hand, while trying not to think about the ways she could make Kylo Ren overall lose their little game.

            Ash boarded his personal ship, rolling her eyes at the moment she saw the slash marks on the wall. No wonder the cooling unit was busted, **again**. She wasn’t fixing the cosmetics, she already decided that that headache was not worth the struggle. Instead, it was more important to fix the inner workings.

           First, Ash removed the panel covering the wirings and internal workings of the cooling unit, placing the panel off to the side as she began to work. She was almost relieved to see most of it was still intact say for a few couplings that needed to be replaced. She had the tools and material to do so; this wouldn’t take her too long.

          The interior of the ship was disgustingly warm, combined with Ashlyn working it was getting unbelievably hot in the ship. She unzipped the top of her jumper, knowing the belt would hold it in place, as she slid out of it, now in her tanktop as she lied on her back and continued working on the components that had fried from the abuse Kylo Ren so gracefully bestowed upon it. At least, she was somewhat cooler now as she worked.

          She heard the heavy boots making contact with the metal of the ramp. Her moments of peace were fleeting as the footsteps could be heard in the front of the ship, slowly making their way back towards where Ashlyn was working. “Is my ship finished yet, Ms. Novafall?” The distorted voice asked.

          Ashlyn rolled her eyes. “Commander, you know I hate talking to you with your ‘mask of doom’ on.” She said, her focus still on the wiring as she lied on her back, looking up at complicated wiring.

         She could hear him removing his helmet. “Mask of doom?” He repeated with amusement as he gently placed his helmet down on the floor. “How’s my ship coming along?”

“Well--” Ash began. “You did a number on it this time, but it’s nothing I can’t fix.” She wiggled out from underneath the wiring panel and sat up now, forgetting she had removed the top part of her jumper and was now just in a black tank top on her upper half. “I am going to need to get new wiring and another circuit board, this one fried completely--” She realized then he was staring. “What is it?”

        He said nothing as he shook his head, shrugging slightly as he tried to find something else in the room to focus on other than her chest. He had seen her so many times in a tank top, yet today was different and it probably had more to do with their current game than anything.

        “I’m pretty sure I have the parts back in the office.” Ash said as Kylo Ren offered her his hand to assist her. She graciously took it, and with one easy pull he helped her to her feet. Ash brushed the dirt off the back of her jumper, unaware of the man watching her as she did it. She looked back up, offering a smile. “You’re staring.” She said a little more accusingly now.

              “Can you blame me?” He asked, his tone full of that joyous sarcasm he was known to muster.

Ash rolled her eyes. “If you can’t keep your eyes up here, Commander.” She said, pointing to her face. “Then maybe you’re too distracted to be here.” She then feigned shock. “Wait, are you--” She began. “Are you starting to trip up at the finish line?”

             He scoffed. “That’s an absurd proposition.”

“I think you’re on the verge of losing!” Ash exclaimed playfully. “I can’t believe it, the great Kylo Ren is slipping.”

            Smirking, he grabbed Ashlyn, pulling her close to his chest before dipping her. His one arm behind her back, holding her in place as his other firmly supported her neck. She was laughing now, as he held her there. Her arms slowly reaching up and gripping his shoulders. “You’re playing with fire, Ms. Novafall.” His tone dark but teasing. “I think it’s time we finish this little game.” His expression turned to a more daring tone. “Stay with me tonight.”

            “You think that’s a good idea?” She asked skeptically.

“I think it’s an awful idea.” He chuckled. “Two enter and only one will win.”

            She grinned, not backing down from the challenge. “I’m game.”

“This is the part where you lose.” Kylo said, standing upright once more and bringing Ashlyn with him as he did.

            “You’d like that wouldn’t you?” Now Ash was pulling out all the stops. “I’m going to win this.” A sense of determination in her tone. Someone was going to lose tonight.

“We’ll see, starshine.” He purred before backing away from Ashlyn completely. “Fix my ship.” Kylo Ren grabbed his mask, raising it above his head to place it where it belonged. However, just before he did, he winked at Ashlyn, confidence spewing from his walk as he left the ship. He knew he was going to take it all and tonight would only prove that. Ashlyn was in trouble, but she wasn’t going down without a fight.

 

* * *

 

             Fixing the ship was fairly simple, especially since she wasn’t in charge with changing any of the cosmetics of the interior. She was going to leave it as is, not her problem at the end of the day. Ash was maintenance and Kylo Ren did not specify that fixing his ship meant fixing that as well. Good grief, she realized, she was starting to sound like him. Making up different rules that only applied when it was for personal benefit and nothing more. Then again, playing his game was also the only way she could win their bet. She would have to do something that would throw him off guard completely, something that would send him over the edge.

            She knew what she had to do, but executing that plan was the problem. Phase one would have to begin now as she began to think about the outcome of this little game. What would the outcome be? Surely, it would fall to the ultimate ending and the two would end up tangled in his bedsheets.

           She began to worry then as she couldn’t remember the last time she had been intimate with anyone. That word was an ugly word ‘intimate’. What did it mean? Yes, the two were growing more and more intimate in how they acted toward each other… but did that mean… was she going to… with Kylo Ren? She couldn’t even fathom kissing him a few weeks ago, now she was thinking about sleeping with the guy.  

          She was overthinking it and it was clearly blowing up in her face. She knew if she didn’t stop panicking sooner rather than later, the Force User in question was going to stick his ugly nose into her business. That was a lie… he had a really cute nose. “Dammit, Ashlyn!” She hissed out loud, receiving a weird look from people passing her by.

           She quickly averted their gazes and rushed down the hallway towards the maintenance bay and where her apartment was. She had to calm her nerves down. Surely, this wasn’t something to freak out over, right? They both knew this game was ultimately going to lead to this… so why was she losing her mind over it? She wasn’t ready. It was okay that she wasn’t ready… but she had to be. She had to beat Kylo Ren at his own game and chickening out was not an option. It couldn’t be, she’d never live it down. For women everywhere, she had to win this. She had to prove she was stronger.

           Ash disappeared into her apartment, her heart racing from adrenaline and nerves as the door closed behind her. What the hell was she doing? She couldn’t go through with this. She only proved that when they nearly lost control the other day. It was too fast… and yet so easily she fell into this game, the idea of winning intoxicating and poisoning her mind.

          Perhaps they didn’t have to sleep together, perhaps the end goal wasn’t that. She just needed him to lose and be done with it. However it was so hard to stop, when their hormones went wild and the sensation of touching was so overwhelmingly good… it was hard to see the outcome going any other way… and it scared her. It excited her, but it ultimately scared her.

          What if it was awful? What if she was awful? What if he was awful? The worst part is he probably wasn’t because of course he wouldn’t be. He’s said she wasn’t the first person to share his bed before… so he’s probably more experienced than she was. “Why the hell am I worried about disappointing Kylo Ren?!” She asked to the empty apartment that thankfully did not answer her back.

        She inhaled deeply, trying to calm the nerves and butterflies that swarmed her stomach as she tried to think of anything but the situation at hand. She knew what she had to do to win. She had to beat Kylo Ren at his own game, but if she had the guts and brains to do so, that was a whole other issue.

 

* * *

 

          When the time came, and most of StarKiller retired to their quarters, Ashlyn quietly wandered the halls and up to the 100’s. Her heart was still racing in her chest as she made her way to Kylo Ren’s apartment. Upon the door sliding open, Kylo Ren could feel her anxiety enter his apartment as she wandered in. The door closing behind her, he knew she was thinking this was going to end one way or another.

          He was sitting quietly on the couch, reading a book Ashlyn was not too familiar with, his attention on the pages as Ash stood there awkwardly. “Are you okay, starshine?” He asked, his tone light but teasing.

          Ash folded her arms across her chest, slouching slightly to try and ease her worries. “I’m fine. Totally fine. Cool actually.” She said, realizing she was rambling as she nervously brushed her hair behind her ears then returning to her previous stance. “Just here to do what I said I was going to do.”

          He peered over his book, amusement on his face as he asked. “Which is?”

Ash shuffled on her feet again. “Win the…” She couldn’t find the word. “Thing.”

          “The thing?” He asked.

“You know what I mean.” She said.

           He nodded. “Right, that thing.” Kylo’s attention returned to the book. “Make yourself comfortable, unless you plan to stand there all night.”

Ash said nothing as she willed her feet to move, she couldn’t let him intimidate her. She had to win, even if she was nervous. Slowly, Ash wandered to the couch, sitting down next to Kylo Ren. Her body was turned just enough to face him as her elbow rested on the back of the couch, her head resting on her hand as she looked at him.

            “Did you fix my ship?” He wasn’t dumb, he sensed her nerves. It was cute all the same. His brave Ashlyn Novafall was nervous about **_that_**.

“I did.” She confirmed. “Should be running normally again.”

             Kylo gently sighed as he closed the book he was reading before placing it down on the other side of him. He looked at Ashlyn with that knowing look, the look that saw through her every time as he smiled sympathetically. “What are you doing, Ashlyn?” She hummed in reply, unsure of what he meant. “I could feel you freaking out for the last couple of hours. You don’t need to be freaking out.”

            “I’m not freaking out, who said anything about freaking out?” Ash said quickly, only to groan as he gave her a pointed look. “Alright, I’m freaking out! Are you happy?”

“While I do love watching you squirm and being the cause for it, no. I don’t like you freaking out, especially over **_that_**.”

            Ash shifted in her seat, sitting forward now and looking down at her lap. Her hands clasped together to keep them from nervously shaking. “You must think I’m being ridiculous.”

            “You are.” He laughed. “Your worries over this are unwarranted. We already determined this after last time, if you’re not ready, I’m not going to force you.”

She deflated slightly. “I know that, it’s just this whole bonding thing is so strong. I want to do it, it’s not like I don’t. I’m just scared it’s--”

            “Too soon?”

“Exactly.” She agreed.

            Kylo leaned over, wrapping his arm around her shoulders and pulled her into his side. “I know you may think I’m a monster with animalistic tendencies. Granted, it’s hard for me too when it comes to resisting the temptation.” He explained. “I am a man, after all.” Ash laughed slightly, trying her best not to think of their last encounter in that regard. “But I do have some control, as opposed to contrary beliefs of last last time, and I won’t make you do anything you don’t want to. Regardless of what the bond makes us feel. Only when you want to is when we can reconsider.”

            “It’s this stupid game.” Ash said. “You’re too good at it.”

He grinned. “At least you’re finally admitting it.”

            “I guess I am.” She said sheepishly. “You were right, you’re better at this than I am.”

“You flatter.” Kylo said, taking the compliment and ignoring the clear and present danger in front of him.

            “I’m serious.” Ash said, looking up at him. “You’re just really good at tempting me. I don’t know how I’ve lasted this long.”

“Give yourself _some_ credit.” He said.

             “There’s not much credit to give.” She said with a shrug. “But it might be time for me to throw in the towel.” Ash mindlessly took his hand into hers as she sat up. She was still unbelievably close to him, close enough that either one could end it at any moment. “Thanks for being so understanding.” And there it was, that smile. That smile Kylo Ren had come to be rendered useless against. The smile he had only seen a handful of times, but when she did it, he was hers. He’d kill a thousand men just to be able to see that smile every day. Unadmittedly, it was what drew him to her in the first place. The reason he got himself into this whole mess. He was utterly powerless against it and before he knew it, he was leaning in and kissing her.

            It was a sweet and gentle kiss, one that Ashlyn had always prefered over their heated ones. It meant something other than passion, it meant so much more. She felt just a twinge of guilt that such a perfect moment would have to be ruined as they pulled away and her warm smile turned more into a gloating smirk. “Maybe your will isn’t as strong as you think.” She said. “I win.”

            Kylo’s expression immediately dropped as his brain began running a mile a minute as he tried to analyze what had just happened. “No, that’s not--” He actually stuttered as he tried to make sense of it all. “You said you were giving up.”

            “But I didn’t actually give up, now did I?” She reminded him.

Then he realized exactly what was going on. She used him. She played him like a damn fiddle by coming to him and acting vulnerable. And then the smile? She used that smile against him. He exhaled sharply, his body stiffening, Ashlyn began to grow concerned that she had really overstepped her boundaries here. Then, he said something she never expected. “I’m impressed.”

            That was her plan, she knew she couldn’t beat him in a battle of will. He was stronger than her, he played dirty and used his sexuality to mess with her. He knew she was uncomfortable with it and unable to fight back the same way. However, if she played his game and used his mind games against him, she could win. It was dangerous, considering she could slip up and lose so easily. Yet, she pulled it off gracefully. Ashlyn played dirty and she won.

            “Are you even really nervous?” Kylo asked, still trying to piece everything together.

“Oh no, that’s real. If it weren’t, I don’t think I could have really played that off as well. You would have seen right through that.” Ash laughed.

            “And yet you still tricked me.” He said in disbelief. “You and your wicked smile.”

Ash blushed slightly. “I figured that was your weakness earlier when we were on my couch and the last time we were in the cavern.” She said. “You almost lost and I realized I had a secret weapon.”

            Kylo frowned as he processed everything. Ashlyn didn’t have to overly sexualize the situation. In fact, all she really had to do was be herself and it was enough to knock down the towering giant. In that realization, Kylo Ren had learned a few things. One of these things was that Ashlyn could keep up with him in a match of wits. The other was that he really liked Ashlyn for more than just the physical fun of it. Something he never thought he could ever feel for another human being, or something he’d ever want to. Ashlyn was beginning to mean more to him than he could possibly comprehend, and it was terrifying.

          This simple girl had more than just the Force, she had something more valuable. She had the ability to rip the monster known as Kylo Ren at the seams. She was becoming a weakness and if anyone were to find that out, that could be a huge problem for him later. She was a risk, one he wasn’t sure he could give up now.

           “Don’t be too mad.” She said sweetly, pulling him out of his thoughts as she tried to make light of his losing. “Now you can do whatever you want without the fear of losing.”

Kylo’s brow raised in amusement, she had that wonderful problem of her sentences always being left open to the imagination. A flaw of hers that he loved to run with. “ ** _Anything_**?”

            Her eyes went wide. “Within reason!” She yelped as Kylo Ren tackled her and for the second time that time, he was on top of her on a couch. “I said within reason!”

“You said anything I wanted.” He reminded her, his face so close to hers.

            She dared to ask. “And what is it you want?”

Kylo Ren thought for a moment, exaggerating the pause before answering which caused Ashlyn to laugh. “I think you know what I want.” He answered.

            “If I did I wouldn’t be asking.” She teased.

He answered truthfully. “I’m okay with what I have right now.”

            Ash’s smile fell slightly as she looked up into the dark, brown eyes of the man she had so many complicated emotions for. She should hate him, everything in her being should have despised him after all he had done. Yet, she didn’t. She couldn’t. There were things about Kylo Ren that she didn’t understand and probably would never get to. How he could be so cruel and so wonderful all at once. At the end of the day, she realized everything she did want was right there in front of her. She let go of her inhibitions for just a moment, letting the walls down and gave in to it. Force Bond be damned, she was truly enjoying this moment with the man she never thought she could feel anything for. She showed him as much by leaning upwards and giving him a quick peck to his lips.

            Ashlyn Novafall realized in that moment, she would do anything for this man and he truly meant more to her than she could have ever prepared for.

 

But like everything else in her life… nothing gold could stay...

 


	23. A Little More Talk On Politics

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ash and Kylo Ren talk a little more about politics. Ash also discovers more about her Force gifts...
> 
> oh and everyone teases Kylo Ren.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't get to say this enough but, guys, seriously... thank you all so much for taking the time to read and review this story. I really appreciate all the love and support you guys have been giving. It really makes writing this story just a little more special.

* * *

 

           There was an obvious shift in mood on StarKiller come the following weeks, yet most were oblivious to what exactly that shift was or meant. Except for those ‘in the know’. Kylo Ren was actually _happy_ , and while he hid that little notion well from the other inhabitants of StarKiller, it was not exactly something he could hide from those that knew him best. He sat in the conference room with the two other leaders of the base, Hux glaring at him yet smirking. “This is absolutely disgusting.” He commented, looking from Ren to Phasma. “Isn’t this disgusting?”

            “I think it’s cute.” Phasma said somewhat teasingly.

“You two are taking this way too out of context.” Kylo said dryly, as he rolled his eyes. “And we have work to do.” He pointed to the hologram in the center of the table.

            “I never thought I’d see the day when Kylo Ren wanted to get back to the meeting.” Hux scoffed. “We should have hired Ashlyn sooner.”

            “At least he’s not denying that nothing is going on between them anymore.” Phasma chimed in.

            Kylo just sighed. “There’s no point in doing so, you two will believe whatever you want.”

“That _is_ true.” Phasma mumbled, sitting back in her chair.

            “Do not be distracted from the truth, Phasma. Kylo Ren is smitten.” Hux continued, causing Phasma to chuckle and Kylo Ren to groan.

            “Anyway, StarKiller is almost done and I have leads to follow up with on The Finalizer.” Kylo Ren desperately tried to return to the whole point of the meeting. He was steering a ship that was unfortunately heading for imminent destruction as he tried to get everyone to focus on anything and everything that wasn’t about him and Ashlyn. It failed. Miserably. He sighed in defeat. “Neither of you are listening to me.”

            “You’ll have to forgive us, Ren.” Hux said. “We’ve never seen you care about anything, especially another person.”

            Kylo snorted. “I can be a caring person.” Hux and Phasma shared a knowing look before looking back at Kylo. “I’m not completely heartless.”

            “Debateable.” Phasma commented.

“Can we **please** get back to the meeting.” Ren said, his voice actually pleading to talk about anything but her. She already occupied most of his thoughts during the day, can’t he have one moment of peace?

            “Fine.” Hux said dismissively as he waved his hand. “You have to plan your upcoming missions anyway. When do you plan to leave for the Finalizer?”

            “In a few days.”

Hux nodded, looking back over to Phasma who had been quiet. “Are you going to the Finalizer too?”

            “Someone has to keep an eye on the Commander.”

“Isn’t that what Ashlyn is for?” Hux quipped as Kylo Ren just groaned once more. It was going to be one of **_those_** days.

 

* * *

 

            The maintenance crew were on their much needed break after having worked hard that morning. Ashlyn was with them in their crusade to finish the StarKiller project by the end of this month and having won her little bet with Kylo Ren, she had more time to do so. Granted, she couldn’t help but feel like she really lost in the long run as all she wanted to do was see him more and more.

            The twins were lying on the floor of the large room with the solar panels, staring up into the ceiling and resting as Grim sat near them and talking about how lazy their worth ethic was. The twins ignored him completely as they continued to lie there.

            That left Ashlyn and Taka. While Ashlyn would have rather been by herself, she was still somewhat happy to have the company. Their relationship had been tested, especially after Kylo Ren nearly killed him. However, she wanted to rebuild what they had. Thankfully, Taka didn’t hold it against her. Or rather, he didn’t say as much.

            “Can’t believe we’re almost done with this thing.” Taka said, looking out at the weapon. “I feel like we’ve been working on this base forever.”

            “I’ve only been here six months and it feels like forever too.” Ash joked causing Taka to chuckle.

            Taka teased her. “Six months and you’re still here. What happened to going home?”

Ash shrugged. “Things change, I guess.”

            “Well I’m glad you stayed. We all are.” Taka said. “Sid would have been happy too.”

She nodded. “I miss him.”

            “We all do.” Taka agreed. “He was a leader in every sense. He took care of us and kept us safe.”

            “If I could only be half the leader he was.” Ash said hopefully.

Taka smiled. “You are. You’re doing your best. You keep the monster on a leash.”

            He was, of course, talking about Kylo Ren. “It’s a very, _very_ loose leash.” She reminded him, watching him grimace.

            “Regardless, he hasn’t bothered us in a while.” Taka said dismissively. “We’re all happy to have you still here with us, Ash.”

            She smiled. “I’m happy to still be here too.” Granted, it was for a whole different reason. Taka also, thought it was for a different reason. A reason he would be completely wrong about.

            “You also haven’t really been training this week. Did you give up on all that Force stuff?” Taka asked curiously and hopeful that she had.

            Ash gave him a pointed look. “No, I’m still training. We’ve just been busy this week.” Of course she wouldn’t tell him the real reason. “I still have to oversee my crew.”

            “You’re right.” Taka said. “You must be powerful now. You did get a light sword after all.”

“Lightsaber.” She corrected. With that, she used the Force to levitate her canteen closer. She grabbed it from mid air and took a swig of water. Now she was showing off just to show off.

            “Show off.” He saw right through her as she grinned.

“I’m still not that powerful.” Ash said, this time placing the canteen down without using the Force this time. “There’s still things that the Commander can do that I can’t. Or rather, haven’t tried to do.”

            “Like what?” Taka asked.

“He’s more intuitive than I am.” She explained. “He senses things better than I can. It feels like a wall of energy being thrown at me constantly. He can filter it to his liking. I haven’t really figure that out yet. The Commander believes I’m progressing, but some days it’s just tiring constantly feeling everything.”

            “Like how you can feel people’s emotions?” Taka asked.

She nodded. “Exactly. It can be draining.”

            “I can only imagine.” Taka said. “Grim had mentioned you were beginning to hear thoughts?”

            Ash bit her lip nervously. “I was hoping that wouldn’t get around.”

“Ash, come on. We’re your team. We’re family. We talk to each other and we keep each other safe. Your secret is safe with us.” Taka said. “Not that it’s really a secret, it’s normal for a Force user right?”

            She shook her head. “Not really, it’s more of a dark side thing. I also don’t want to be able to hear people’s thoughts. It’s an invasion of their privacy.”

            Taka laughed. “Well, I really appreciate that. A lot of us do. It’s really unnerving to know someone here can listen in on your private thoughts.”

            “Which is why I don’t want to. Besides, it hasn’t happened since then. So maybe it was a fluke.”

            “Let’s try it. What am I thinking?” Taka asked.

Ash narrowed her eyes. “I really don’t want to.”

            “It’s just to see if it’s a fluke or not.” Taka explained. “What am I thinking?”

Ash sighed, focusing on Taka now. At first, she heard nothing. Perhaps it really was an accident that she heard Grim that day. But then, it came through. With defeat, Ash told him. “No one here likes the food in the cafeteria.”

            Taka’s eyes went wide. “I guess that means you still can?”

“Not as easily as the Commander can.” Ash deduced. “But if I focus, I can. Besides, if you concentrate solely on what you want me to hear then yeah, that probably helps.”

            “We’ll just have to keep our minds quiet so you can concentrate.” Taka offered, gently placing his hand on the top of her thigh. Ash looked down at his hand, realizing she felt absolutely nothing with it. If Kylo Ren had done it, her whole body would react to it and she’d be unable to function. This was empty. Taka saw the hesitation and almost disgust on her face and immediately removed his hand. “I’m sorry, that was a little too forward.”

            Ash shook her head, trying to make up for her reaction. “No, it’s fine.” She said. “I’ve just been weird lately. It’s not you.”

            Taka said nothing as the two continued the rest of their break in silence. Luckily for them, it wasn’t much longer and soon the crew went back to work. Ashlyn was almost a little too thankful when dinner came and the work day was over.

 

* * *

 

            Since she was not training, Ashlyn’s schedule was pretty simple. She worked on the base from morning until dinner time with a few breaks in between. Sometimes she would have meetings with the higher ups, but most of the time she was working. It was a great distraction and made the day go by faster.

            She would clean up and head to dinner with maintenance. Once that ritual ended, she would turn in early and wait for the base to quiet down. Once it did, all bets were off as she’d venture to the other Force User of StarKiller. She didn’t even wait and knock any more, if the opportunity was there, she’d simply walk right in. He was always expecting her.

            Tonight however was different, he wasn’t in his apartment. It had happened once before, she knew she was allowed there unsupervised. Those nights were also fine as Ashlyn would sit by the fireplace and read. Kylo Ren had the best books. This time, she wanted to read about planets and grabbed the large book that Kylo Ren had read to her once before. She flipped open the cover, her eyes hovering to that strange name again _Ben Solo_. She was curious about it. Was it someone Kylo Ren had killed to get the book? It had to have been the original owner. She wondered if Kylo even knew the person before he obtained the book. She’d ask about it when she saw him, for now, she wanted to see the galaxy.

           

            Kylo Ren had a few things to take care of in preparation for his trip later in the week to the Finalizer. He was slightly aggravated, especially since all he really wanted was to retire to his apartment to see the red haired girl that was probably already there without him. He was correct in his assumption as he stormed into his apartment to see her smaller frame sitting on the floor. She looked up from the book, smiling at his existence in the room and suddenly he forgot why he was annoyed in the first place. “It’s about time.”

            He removed his helmet, dropping it on the coffee table as he walked over to the red head on the floor. Without too much thought, he sat down next to her, noting the book she was reading before responding. “I had to take care of some things. Have you been waiting long?” He knew she hadn’t been, he was making small talk as she read.

            “Not too long.” She said, her voice like a song as she flipped the page she was on. “I’ve been keeping busy.”

            “So I see.”

“I did have a question for you.” She began as she flipped to the front of the book where the inscription lied. “Who is Ben Solo?”

            Ash immediately felt Kylo Ren tense next to her; the sinking feeling overtaking her that she had overstepped some boundary by asking. Her curiosity getting a hold of her, she probably brought up some awful memory for him without thinking. “He’s gone.” Kylo said sharply. “He’s never coming back.”

            She made an ‘O’ shape with her mouth, understanding that this Ben Solo was probably dead. “Did you find his book then?”

            “Something like that.”

She closed the book all together then. “I won’t bug you about it again.”

            “That would be wise.” He said, still angry. Granted, it wasn’t her fault. She didn’t know. He still had trouble hearing the name. A sense of remorse taking over him, he was feeling somewhat bad for snapping at her. “What planet did you learn about today?” He asked, trying to keep the peace.

            Ash smiled slightly. “Maridun. It’s a grassy planet in the Outer Rim.”

“It used to house an outpost for the Empire.” Kylo informed her. “They stationed Troopers in huts out there to send signals of movement from the Rebels.”

            Ash sighed thoughtfully. “I’d like to travel to some of these places someday.”

“Then let’s go.” Kylo Ren suggested without a care. “I have to travel out to the Outer Rim and spend time on the Finalizer. As head of maintenance, you should travel and meet a few of the personnel within the First Order. We can make a few stops on our trip home.”

            “Won’t Hux be mad?”

He raised his brown in amusement. “You assume Hux has a say in any of this?”

            Ash shrugged. “He’s the General. Not that authority ever mattered to you.”

“You’re learning.” He said smugly.

            “I think I’m finally understanding the politics of StarKiller.” Ash agreed. “Everyone respects and fears your authority while you and Hux battle each other for power. Titles mean nothing to you.” He just smirked in reply, not denying any of her accusations. “But fine, if you think we can explore without getting into trouble, then I’d love to.”

            “You are my apprentice. It’s only natural you spend time with me.” He reminded her.

“Sleeping in your bed might not be the _quality time_ people expect.”

            He gave her a look that held only mischief. “Who said anything about sleeping?”

Ash gasped, hitting his arm playfully which only caused him to laugh. “You really are such a pervert!”

            Kylo Ren only chuckled as he leaned over to kiss the side of her head. It didn’t take long for her to completely change his mood around to a more positive one, and she didn’t have to do much to do it. He never expected something like this to ever happen in his life. Not after seeing what **_they_** had gone through. He was more than fine with being alone, in fact, he relished the thought. However, something about the way Ashlyn made him feel. She was bringing a part of him to the surface that he hadn’t felt in a long time. There was nothing he wouldn’t do for her. But not everything worked out the way he wanted. He knew that and he was ready to face the consequences of being happy. It was inevitable, now he was just waiting for the other shoe to drop.

            “So where to first, Commander?” Ash asked, grabbing the book and opening it again.

He let a small smile slip as he looked at Ash, her focus on the book as she began skimming through its pages. “Wherever you’d like. Just make sure it’s on the Outer Rim.”

            She was beaming as she opened up to the page that held Maridun. “Can we start here?”

“I said ‘wherever you’d like’, didn’t I?”

            “This is a democracy.” She informed him. “We can take a vote.”

He snorted. “Democracy doesn’t work and I’m quite sure this is a Dictatorship anyway.”

            “Well, you can be a dick.” She teased.

Kylo Ren rolled his eyes playfully, not wasting the opportunity to tackle her. The book flew out of Ashlyn’s hands and landed with a small thud on the ground as she lied there with Kylo Ren now on top of her, kissing her cheek and down to her jaw. She laughed, knowing he wasn’t pissed at her for her comment. After he had his fun attacking her, he rolled of her and laid side by side with her, the two now staring up at the black ceiling as silence overtook the room say for the hum of the generators. “There’s something I want to ask you, but I don’t know how to do it without having you be angry with me.”

            She frowned. “That’s always a great way to start a conversation.”

“Do you believe in what the First Order is trying to accomplish?” He asked, the topic itself coming out of left field for Ashlyn. He had a point; his other plan for Ashlyn that had taken the backseat for a while.

            Ash shrugged. “I try to be neutral.” She said. “I mean, I have to be right? I was freelance coming here. I’m building a weapon for them, but that doesn’t mean I’m completely in love with the idea.”

            “Do you wish they did things different, as a whole?” Ren asked, now Ashlyn was growing more and more skeptical of these questions.

            “Didn’t you harass me enough about this during one of our first encounters?” She asked, reminding the two of their time in the conference room. It felt so long ago. “But sure.” She answered. “I suppose I want everything to be a little different. I’d rather this war not be going on, but it’s not up to me. It’s up to those responsible.”

            Kylo kept his face expressionless. “And who is responsible?”

“Aren’t we all?” Ash said. “But there are those who take charge and take that responsibility in the actions of what happens during war.”

            He hummed in reply. “And what about the Supreme Leader and his actions?”

“I’ve never dealt with him directly.” Ash laughed nervously. “Honestly, if I didn’t know any better I’d say he wasn’t even real to begin with. Your orders have to come from somewhere though.” She turned her head enough to look at Kylo Ren, his eyes were locked on the ceiling. “What do **_you_** think about the Supreme Leader?”

            Kylo smirked, her intuition was growing sharper the more she practiced with the Force. It was definitely noticeable to him now. Ashlyn was asking the right questions, and right now that was something he needed her to do. “I believe all regimes must come to an end.”

           Ash thought back to her discussion with Hux not too long ago. Even Hux believed that Kylo Ren was much stronger than Snoke. While Ashlyn had no stake in such beliefs, it was a curious one for sure. There had to have been a reason for Hux to believe so in the first place, and now there was definitely a reason Kylo Ren had brought it up. “Could you do a better job?”

          He thought for a moment. “Anyone who believes they are the right person for being in charge is usually insane.” He paused. “However, I do believe if there is a time to take a stand and overthrow, one doing the overthrowing must be ready to take over until a new order takes hold.”

            “And are you planning to overthrow anyone soon?”

His smirk grew to a full out grin now. “We’ll see.”

             Ash frowned, placing her hands behind her head now as she rested her head on top of them. “What would you do if you lead the First Order?”

            “I’d still take down the New Republic.” He said honestly and with no remorse in his tone. “The governing factors of the Galaxy are still in chaos. I want order.”

            “And could you bring the Galaxy order?”

He shrugged. “Maybe.”

            “I doubt it’s a one man job.” Ash said.

“To overthrow or conquer?” Kylo quipped.

            “Both.” She said. “This Galaxy is in chaos, but I don’t think a dictatorship could or should be the governing body.”

            Kylo turned on his side now to face her, his elbow propped up his body as his head rested on his fist. “Then how would **_you_** run all this?”

            She gave him a dazzling smile. “I told you, I’m a fan of democracy.”

He frowned, smirking. “It would never work. History has shown us that.”

            “Yes, but history is there for a reason.” She said, turning on her side to mimic his position. “You learn from it, change the future from it.”

            He stared at her, taking in everything about the girl in front of him. “You remind me of someone. Someone else who believes in such wild ideas.” She did. She really did remind him so much of **_her_** , sometimes it was quite sickening. Yet, he knew he could never be with a girl that wasn’t even close to as strong as Leia Organa. That was the only thing he knew a woman could be. He wasn’t one for a submissive type girl, his mother made sure of that by setting such a high standard of breed.

            “Well, they must be very smart.” She retorted, rolling onto her back once more. “Do you think this war will ever end?”

            “With the right people maybe.” Although his answer was vague, Ashlyn understood it to a deeper extent than Kylo Ren probably intended. She had no stake in what the galaxy was going through, she was a very neutral party. Even though she was now working for the First Order, she still felt no allegiance to their side or their struggle. She wondered if she would ever feel so passionate about fighting for a particular side, but like she had been told before… this war was not so black and white. There was a lot to consider, such as Kylo Ren’s feelings towards the Supreme Leader.

             He didn’t continue their political discussion after that, instead, he opted for pulling Ashlyn to him and holding her while she studied the book on planets again. She was mapping out their future visit, still oblivious to an extent of what Kylo Ren’s plans truly were. She was certain, however, that she’d find out sooner rather than later.

 


	24. The Overall Plan

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ash and Kylo go on their little training vacation meanwhile Hux and Phasma discuss the future of StarKiller, the First Order and how Ash comes into play

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh hi. Hope everyone had amazing weekends. Mine was superb! 
> 
> But now we're getting back into the story and here's a long chapter with plot and plot and more plot that sets up the future of Ashlyn Novafall! 
> 
> Also... I need to know something so this is SLIGHTLY important. What are your thoughts on a NSFW chapter? Like... a chapter dedicated to just NSFW? Please let me know in the comments. Thank you!

* * *

 

             Even though Ashlyn had taken over Sid’s office, as per the request of Hux and the rest of the team, she still never sat at his desk. She sat **_on_** his desk, but never in his chair. She felt weird about it, like she didn’t deserve sitting there. She hadn’t earned the right.

            Her team, however, would say otherwise. Yet right now, Ashlyn was more concerned over the fact she felt like she was leaving instructions to her children before leaving on a very important business trip. “Okay, you guys just need to work on the refractile ray, make sure it pulls the right angle of light otherwise this place could blow. If you need me, I have my datapad” They all gave her a knowing look as she exhaled. “Any questions?”

            “Relax, **_mom_**.” Grim teased. “We can handle this.”

Ash smiled, relaxing as she looked at her team. “I know. I’m just nervous about leaving, there’s so much still to complete and I haven’t really left this base since I first came here.”

            “Now we can’t get rid of her.” Taka said knowingly, with a grin. “We’ll be fine, Ashlyn. You’ll be back in no time from wherever it is you’re going.”

“Training.” She said quickly. “I’m training and making a presence up on the Finalizer. I can only assuming that means we’ll be branching out from here.”

            “Great, more work.” One of the twins said in passing. The group dispersing to their own side conversations over the concept of expanding. Except for Taka, he was more concerned about something else.

            “You think that’s a good idea?” He asked Ashlyn.

Ash looked around, sensing no one was really listening to them as she responded. “Branching out? Definitely.”

            “No.” He said, smiling slightly. “Going off with the Commander alone?”

She laughed nervously. “I do it all the time here.”

            “Yes, but you always have us to watch over you.” He said. “You’ll be completely isolated with him.”

            While she appreciated the concern, she knew it was unwarranted. “I’ll be fine.” ‘ _I won’t be fine. I don’t like the way he looks her.’_ Without meaning to, she was listening in on Taka’s thoughts. As much as she tried to push out his thoughts and focus on anything and everything that wasn’t Taka, she couldn’t help it. ‘ _He could never appreciate her the way I do.’_ Ash quickly changed the subject. “So, keep them busy and I’ll see you guys soon.”

            Taka nodded. “Be safe.”

Without another word, Ash high-fived Grim and practically ran from Sid’s office and to the training areas. She was late for her last training session with Phasma, which never went over well with the blonde haired captain.

 

           

* * *

 

 

            Captain Phasma had just finished a quick training session with a few of her Troopers. Ash assumed they must have been new recruits, considering their lack of proper position and the slight aggravation on Phasma’s face as she dismissed them. She nodded to Ashlyn as the recruits exited the room, signaling for her to come over. Ash did exactly that, not wasting too much time, knowing Phasma would never allow it. “Captain.” She said with a smile. “Forgive my tardiness, I had to prepare my guys for my departure today.”

            Phasma nodded, understanding as she smiled in return. “Excited for your first off-base mission?”

            Ash shrugged. “Honestly, not really. I’m nervous about leaving the base alone and also meeting with the other First Order officers.” She grimaced then. “No one mentioned that Sid being head of maintenance also meant he was really **_head of maintenance_**.”

            “What else would it mean?” She replied knowingly. “It’s a lot of work, but if the General didn’t have any faith in you, you wouldn’t be sent off to the Finalizer.”

 “Is the Finalizer as scary as everyone makes it out to be? Every time I mention it, I can sense everyone’s dread.”

            Phasma chuckled. “It’s definitely a different pace comparatively.” She saw the uneasy expression on Ashlyn’s face before sighing. “How about this? Instead of training you physically, let’s prepare you mentally for the Finalizer. Consider it a crash course in the First Order.”

            Her bright smile reappeared at the offer. “I’d love that.”

Phasma grabbed her datapad before finding a clear spot for the two women to sit. Ash follow suit, sitting in front of Phasma as the Captain began pulling up information on the datapad. “You need to remember the politics of the First Order; that is definitely important. However, your title may rank towards the lower part of the food chain, remember that you are just as important and powerful as the rest of them. You have something they don’t have, you have the Commander.”

            Ash frowned slightly. “His rank is clearly way above mine. How can I use that to my advantage?”

            Phasma gave her a pointed look. “Are you not his apprentice?” It then clicked for Ashlyn. People feared the Force Users within the First Order. “You have an ace up your sleeve with that title, use it if you need to. The boys on the Finalizer are greedy for power, but know their place. They will try and use it to their advantage; fight back. Do not show any weakness or they will eat you alive.” Phasma explained. “While the General wishes he could come, he loves watching his subordinates squirm when Ren enters a room, he sadly will not be joining us on this outing.”

            “But at least I’ll have you there, right?” Ash asked.

Phasma smiled. “Yes, you will have me. I know how hard it is for a woman to keep her place among those who would rather watch others fail for their own gain. However, I’ve worked hard to make my place and my stance known. They do not challenge me.”

            It made sense, Ashlyn knew the respect not only Hux had for Phasma, but also Kylo Ren had. “I assume the Commander will use his favorable tactic of intimidation.”

            Phasma tensed slightly, Ash could feel it. “That is my next point. While the Commander will be there to assist you when he can, just remember that he **_is_** the Commander. He will be just a cold and cruel to you as well. Consider it for appearance sake as well as for your protection and ultimately his.”

            “So he’s going to be a bigger dick than normal?” Ash groaned.

Phasma tried hard to not snicker at the comment. “It’s best to let him do his thing with little to no interference. It’s also recommended you two hide whatever it is between you.”

            “There’s nothing between us.” She snapped, a little more panic in her voice than she would have liked.

“That’s exactly what he said too.” Phasma said. “Hux and I have a bet as to which one of you will admit it first.”

            Ash frowned. “Not that it will happen, because there’s nothing going on, but who do you have?”

            “I picked Ren.” Phasma grinned wickedly. “I feel I’m very close to winning.” Ash blushed, the idea of Kylo Ren saying out loud what was going on between them made the whole thing feel just a little more real. “Although, if you keep blushing like that when you think about him, I may lose.”

            Ash laughed nervously. “Anything else I need to know?”

Phasma thought for a moment before nodding. “Meetings are boring and don’t eat anything tinted grey. I promise you, it’s as awful as it looks.”

            “Or the green gelatin thing.” Another voice interrupted, the two women looking over to see Kylo Ren walking further into the room. He loved his silent and surprising entrances, especially if it meant being able to overhear conversations.

            Phasma shuddered. “He has a point.”

Kylo Ren was now standing by the women, looking down at them as he held his helmet tightly under his arm. “Luckily for you, you won’t have to be burdened with one of Hux’s **_infamous_** lectures.” He said sarcastically. Ash looked at Phasma to see her grinning slightly. “He’s known for his inspiring and motivational speeches.”

            “Now I’m almost sad he won’t be joining us.” Phasma quipped before standing up now, Ash stood up with her. “When do you leave today, Commander?”

“Once I’ve collected the head of maintenance, we can leave almost immediately.” He said, winking at Ashlyn.

             The wink didn’t go unnoticed by Phasma as she rolled her eyes. “Then I will see you both in a week’s time.”

Ash looked confused. “You’re not coming with us?”

            “We are training first.” Kylo Ren informed her finally. Of course, he kept his plans close to his chest. “We will meet Captain Phasma on the Finalizer once we are done.”

“We will be reunited before you know it.” Phasma agreed. “You best get ready to leave, then. The Commander is not known to be patient.”

            Kylo Ren glared, but with a smile as Ashlyn laughed at his expense. Captain Phasma left the training room, and ultimately left the two Force Users alone. Almost as immediately as the door closed, Kylo Ren dropped his helmet and wrapped his arms the redhead’s waist as she wrapped her arms around the back of his neck. “Are you ready?” He asked, his voice low. He sensed her hesitation. As brave as Ashlyn Novafall was, sometimes, it took her a while to get any traction. The ‘ _what if’s’_ typically took over before she took any big plunge.

            “Ready for hours of grueling training and then being forced into a void of total grief thanks to all the politics on the Finalizer?” She asked. “Totally.”

He chuckled as he leaned down and captured her lips with his. “You’ll be fine. I won’t be too awful to you.”

            “You’re too good to me.” She teased, reaching up to peck his lips again.

Ren smirked. “If you believe that, I should be a little crueler then. We can’t have you thinking I’m actually nice.”

             “Oh, don’t worry. I would never think you’re nice.”

He kissed her forehead endearingly before reluctantly pulling away from the red head and picking up his helmet. “We really do have to go, however.”

             “I’ll meet you at the ship?” She asked, receiving a hum in acknowledgement as Kylo Ren began to walk to the exit. “Will you behave yourself on our trip?” Ash called to him.

“You already know the answer to that.” He replied, placing the helmet over his head and exiting the room, leaving Ashlyn feeling just a little more excited to be leaving StarKiller.

 

* * *

 

            Ash wasted no time in packing, making sure she had her saber and datapad, as she made her way to the main Launch Bay. His ship was prepped for their departure with enough food and water for the two for a week and until they ultimately arrived to the Finalizer. She nodded to the flight crew in the area as she quickly boarded the Upsilon. She stared at the empty ship, realizing then that it would just be her and Kylo Ren from here on out.

           “Did you think we’d bring Troopers with us to train?” The distorted voice said as he came up the ramp in full typical Kylo Ren gear.

Ash frowned as the ramp began to close behind him. “No, I just didn’t really think about it until now.” Kylo Ren began preparing for takeoff as he messed with the ship’s autopilot mode and entered the coordinates. The hiss of the cabin stabilization separated their conversation for a moment as the ship began to rise from the ground. There was no turning back now.

            He was grinning under his mask, even the distortion couldn’t hide his cocky tone. “Does that scare you knowing you’re alone with me?” She thought back to Taka then, he was more concerned if anything that she was alone with Kylo Ren. What difference did that even make, they had been alone before many times. Just not **_completely_** alone. “Good to know you’re thinking of your friend and his warning back on base.” His mask growled, Ash could feel the powerful and angry wall of emotion that suddenly washed back towards her.

            The ship was making it’s way out of the Launch Bay and upwards towards the atmosphere of StarKiller as Kylo Ren turned to face her now, the mask hiding his glare as Ash tensed. She knew she screwed up for even thinking of it. “First of all, privacy.” She reminded him dryly. “Second, it was an accident. I didn’t mean to hear him.”

            Kylo Ren stopped, the ship shaking now as it broke through the atmosphere and now in the dark blackness of space. “How so?”

Ash then realized she hadn’t told Kylo Ren about her little mishaps recently. “I’ve been hearing people… on accident.”

            “And?” He was egging her on, waiting for her to say the words out loud.

She frowned. “I heard his thoughts, okay?” He said nothing as Ash folded her arms over her chest. “I heard Grim’s too. I thought maybe it was a fluke or something, but if I concentrate enough I can hear it.”

            Kylo Ren removed his helmet, taking it under his arm and making a somewhat amused expression as he walked passed Ashlyn and made his way to the back of the ship, muttering an ‘ _Interesting_ ’ under his breath.

            She turned, watching the man stalk to the back of the ship. “This doesn’t mean I’m going to be doing it more, I’m going to make a conscious effort to not do it again.”

            “You’re doing so well already.” He said flatly, causing Ash to glare in his direction as she watched him toss his helmet on one of the bunks in the Upsilon. He began to stalk back to where Ashlyn was standing, the tension still radiating off his person as he got impossibly close. “What else did you hear from your dear friend, Taka?” His tone venomous as he asked. “Perhaps you finally heard the awful thoughts he has about you.”

            “Enough, Ren.” She warned, looking up into his dark eyes. “Let’s just not talk about Taka anymore.”

“I can show you what he thought that day.” He pushed. “Maybe you’ll finally think differently of him then.”

             “I said enough.” She snapped.

He continued to push. “Afraid you’ll like what you see?”

            Ash had had enough of the Force User in front of her. She didn’t like him standing so close, the way he towered over her, the way he spoke to her. Without really thinking about it, she put her hands to his chest, ready to push him away. However, she never physically touch him.

            He stumbled backwards from the Force Push, taking him roughly two to three steps backwards as he steadied himself. Kylo Ren looked back at Ashlyn, his anger subsiding just enough to feel her own anger radiating from her small frame. Her glare still as menacing as she walked forward, pushing passed him and heading to the back of the ship to the only place she could to get away from him.

           Kylo Ren had a few options here, one would be to immediately follow the angry Force User and apologize for being a dick. He could admit that, at least. He was being a dick. The second option was to let her calm down on her own and then perhaps maybe give a backwards apology. Kylo Ren didn’t apologize often, and when he did, it was never honest. Yet, he was doing it more and more when she was involved. That was all added to the other problem that Ashlyn was able to Force Push him further than she had ever done before. This was a sign that she was growing stronger. What worried him, however, was the continuous use and strain on the dark side as she pulled from it. He brought out the worst in her, he knew it. In that thought alone, he decided it was better to leave her alone as he went to the cockpit of the ship and sat in the pilot seat.        

 

* * *

 

           

 

            Ash stormed off angrily into the main computer room of the Upsilon. Her anger still there, but diminishingly greatly as she stared at the inner workings of the ship. At least she had something to distract her while she hid from Kylo Ren.

            He had an awful temper, granted, it was her fault for thinking about Taka in that moment. Although, it was his own damn fault for listening in. Then again, their bond made it harder for Kylo Ren to not listen in. Not that that was an excuse, although he’d use it and run with it.

            He had this way about him that brought out so many different emotions in her. She found safety, comfort and overall companionship with him. He also had a way of making her want to punch his stupid face in. Right now was the latter.

            They hadn’t been traveling for ten minutes and already they were angry with each other. The level of jealousy Kylo Ren had over Taka was just unfathomable and Ashlyn couldn’t stand it. He had no reason to be, yet he was anyway. She was a caring person, she cared about people who were close to her, people she wanted to protect. Kylo Ren didn’t really have that strong of a need to protect anyone. Well, anyone other than her.

            No. She was not going to forgive him or give him an excuse. She was going to wait until he apologized, even if that meant she was going to die in the back of the ship waiting. Ash sighed. “Stars, I’m going to die back here, aren’t I?” She was answered by the calm humming of the ship’s computers.

 

* * *

 

            An hour into the trip and both parties were silent. However, Kylo Ren was now pacing outside the door where Ashlyn was. She could hear him and ultimately chose to play his childish game by giving it right back and ignore him. “Come out, please.” He said, aggravation in his tone.

            “Are you going to apologize?” She called back, staring at the wiring that ultimately controlled the auto-pilot. She began to debate if she should unplug something to give Kylo Ren another headache to worry about.

            “Not if you break my ship.” He growled from the other side of the door. He was met with silence before he exhaled sharply. “Look, I’m sorry that Taka is the cause of our fight.”

            The door was practically ripped open as Ashlyn stormed out, glaring. “That’s **_not_** how you apologize, Kylo Ren!”

            He grinned with that sick smugness Ash wanted to punch off his face. “No, but it got you to come out.” Ash turned to go back into hiding, only to have Kylo Ren wrap his arms around her waist and pull her back to him. “Alright, alright. I’m sorry.” He said in exasperation. “I’m sorry, okay? I get it. I’m a dick, as you so eloquently put it.”

            Ash stopped struggling then. “You are.” She reassured him of that. “You have no reason to take out your hatred of Taka on me.” She continued as she turned around to face him, his arms still holding her tightly against him. “That’s not fair, I’ve done nothing to give you reason to doubt me or accuse him.”

            He frowned. “That doesn’t mean I have to like him.”

“I never said you did, but you don’t get to take that dislike out on me.” She restated. “He’s my teammate. I’m not spending alone time with him, we have no secret rendezvous, we work together. Instead, I’m here on a ship, in the middle of nowhere and with you. Don’t you think that says something?” Ash said. “Whatever Taka feels about me is none of our business. I obviously don’t reciprocate any of it because if I did, I wouldn’t be here with you.”

            His shoulder’s deflated slightly as he gently rested his forehead against hers. He exhaled sharply, looking for words as his eyes closed almost painfully. “I know. I know and I’m sorry.” He said softly. “I’m not good at sharing what’s mine.”

            “I’m yours now? Since when?”

His lips twitched, quirking upwards into a smirk. “Since you let me kiss you.”

            She wanted to roll her eyes, but didn’t. “Does this mean you’re mine then?”

He scoffed, Ashlyn waited for him to give her a reason that the great and powerful Kylo Ren could never be owned. However, his actual answer surprised her as he lifted his forehead from hers, now looking at her full on. “I was yours the moment you smiled.”

            Ash blushed deeply now as she quickly avoided his gaze and unable to hide her smile. “You’re quite the smooth talker, Ren.” She mumbled.

He leaned forward, kissing the top of her head as he replied. “Forgive me?”

            “Let me hold it over you for another hour or two.” She said, she was joking.

   Ren chuckled. “Of course, starshine.”

 

* * *

  
  
  


           

            Kylo Ren made Ashlyn happy even with the smallest of gestures; such as bringing the book on planets on their little adventure. She sat quietly in the co-pilot's chair of the cockpit, which he sat in the captain’s chair. His eyes were on the stars and empty space before them, but every so often glancing over to make sure the redhead was still content as she read.

            “I didn’t know you were also a pilot.” Ash said in passing as she continued reading. “Is there anything you can’t do?” She teased lightly.

            He thought for a quick beat before answering. “Fix things.”

She laughed. “You’re really good at breaking things. I can see why fixing things isn’t your strong point.” He smirked at her comment. “How did you learn to fly ships?” It was genuine curiosity. She wanted to learn more about Kylo Ren. It was only natural, right? The two were growing closer and closer each day with no end in sight to their blossoming relationship. Of course she would want to know more about the mysterious man in black. He seemed to know so much about her.

            “I can’t get away with saying it’s just a natural Force gift?”

Ash scoffed. “Apparently my skill in maintenance is also a Force thing, but I still learned the trade from **_somewhere_**.” She backed off, feeling his overall hesitation over the matter. “You don’t have to tell me. I was just curious.”

            “My father.” He said bitterly and yet with such a simplicity that was overall complex. Kylo Ren felt he owed her some sort of answer, whether it be short and to the point or in full detail. This would be the former, he wouldn’t give too much information just yet. However, he also knew Ash would accept that right now. She was better at not pushing the subject than he was.

            Ash nodded. “I think this is the first time you’ve ever mentioned your family.”

“And probably the last.” He looked over at her, his expression dark.

            She peered over her book at him, matching his glare with her own, yet softer glare. There was that smile to go with it. A smile that helped melt the harshness of his tone. “Well, I’m glad you felt comfortable enough to let me in at all.” It wasn’t sarcastic or meant to hold any malice. It was a sincere sentiment. She was happy that he gave her some piece to a puzzle. And although she wanted more, she wouldn’t push for it just yet. Ash’s eyes fell back to the book once more. “So what are you planning on teaching me during our little trip?”

            He would have sighed with relief over the conversation change, however he kept that to himself. “First, we need to work on your new little mind reading trick.”

            Ash grimaced. “Please.”

“You need to learn control.” Kylo added. “You’ve been unknowingly trying to get into my head for the last hour.”

            Ash frowned, the concept of reading minds was still foreign to her. What was a bigger surprise for her was the option to read Kylo’s thoughts. She never once thought it was even something she could do. “I didn’t mean to.”

            “That’s why I said **_unknowingly_** , starshine.” He said. “Thankfully I know how to counter someone trying to read my thoughts.”

            “Can you teach me to do that?”

Kylo looked over at her again. “Now why would I do that? Then I won’t be able to read your thoughts.”

            “Exactly!” Ash exclaimed, receiving a chuckle from her counterpart in the pilot seat. “I’d love to know I have some semblance of security in my head.”

            “It’s something I will teach you, don’t worry your pretty little head.” He said, causing her to blush slightly at his phrasing. “Besides, you will need to know how to block out anyone who could use your thoughts against you. Especially if they see things they shouldn’t.”

            Ash nodded. “I sometimes forget there’s a whole dangerous side to being a Force User. I wouldn’t want them to see my past or… whatever we’re doing.”

 His grin widened. “Whatever we’re doing?” He repeated teasingly. “And what are we doing, Ashlyn?”

            She wouldn’t be baited so easily. “We’re getting into a whole lot of trouble, that’s what.”

Kylo laughed as he agreed. “We are.” If only she knew just how much trouble they could be in. For now, ignorance was truly bliss and Kylo Ren wanted to keep Ashlyn out of that chaos for as long as possible. “We’re approaching Maridun.” His expression changing completely from playful to more serious as the planet came into view.

            She peered over her book again as the brown and yellow planet appeared before her eyes. Immediately, she flipped the pages in the planet’s book to find the matching photo. It was exactly as picture.

            “It doesn’t look like much from up here.” Kylo mused, feeling the excitement as it built up next to him. “We’ll be lodging at the accommodations that were arranged for any Empire personnel that was staying on site. It’s not the most magical of places, but it’s perfect for training without disruption.” He said as the ship broke atmosphere and began it’s final descent towards a clearing.

            Ash stared in wonder, she had only ever been on two other planets beside StarKiller. Each planet varying in what it had to offer. Something about this empty, grassy planet was comforting. “It’s perfect.” She said quietly as the wide field came into view. In the distance, she could see a rather large satellite dish that took up a decent amount of the skyline. She was so distracted by it, she almost didn’t see the small hut in the field. It blended in well to the forest behind it, unlike the dish.

             Kylo Ren landed the ship with ease, Ash was already out of her seat and rushing to the cabin where her bag was. She grabbed the bag and slung it over her shoulder; the book clutched under her arm as she raced to the ramp. Kylo was amused as he stood from the pilot’s seat just in time to watch Ash run out of the Upsilon and into the field. This was a whole new experience for her and the excitement pulsating from her being was intoxicating to the other Force User.

             He let her have her fun as he grabbed his own bag and exited the ship, the ramp closing behind him as he walked over to the redhead that was now sitting in the grassy field. “We didn’t have fields to sit in on Lothal.” She explained. “Well, we had prairies and mountains, but I was mostly in the industrial section. Never got to travel to the more rural areas.”

           “And Coruscant is definitely far from luscious fields.” Kylo quipped, noticing Ash stiffened slightly at the mention of her home world before she ultimately smiled.

“Definitely not the same.” Ash agreed. “So when do we begin training?”

          “I’d like to begin right away, but one of us is distracted by grass at the moment.” He said teasingly.

Ash laughed. “Alright, I get it. I’ll get focused.”

          Kylo Ren put down his bag and sat down next to Ashlyn. The two staring at the small hut in the distance. The sun was getting lower in the sky as they sat silently for a moment, taking it all in around them. “What do you feel?” He asked her then.

            She closed her eyes, her mental state focusing on all that was around her. The electricity pulling from the earth, the grass, the trees around her. Their life force calling out and unifying. She felt the darkness next to her, yet it felt different today. It wasn’t such a heavy weight pushing against her. It felt tamer, it felt like it was blending with her existence. Her body was tingling then, the sensations washing over her but not overwhelming her.

            Kylo Ren noticed, it was hard not to, she was unknowingly making small rocks and dirt clumps float in front of them. She was focusing, **_connecting_**. Ultimately, she was pulling from both sides and balancing. Something he hadn’t seen her do before without a struggle. She was beginning to grow as a Force User, soon she’d bee the viable asset he needed her to be.

            Yet, there was something else there. He felt her tugging at his being. She was pulling from the darkness that lied within him; creating that connection that had nearly gotten them in trouble not too long ago. The bond made it all the more harder to pull back as they connected through the Force.

            Ash finally laughed, the connection still there but dimming due to her break in focus. “I can feel you.” She said. “But you don’t feel so... _dark_ today.” She couldn’t find the right way to explain it. “You feel different.”

             He frowned slightly. “Different how?”

Ash opened her eyes as his aggravation grew, pulling the darkness back into the equation. “I’m not sure, but I think I felt light?”

            Kylo Ren sighed, he had a feeling this would happen. Ashlyn was a driving force in pulling him out of the darkness he so easily hid in. She made it impossible to stay on one side, she was pulling him to the other without even realizing it. “As a grey Force User, you have influence over me.” He said. “That’s not exactly a good thing.”

            She panicked slightly. “How do I stop doing that?”

“I’m not sure.” He tried to play it off as nothing, although Ash could sense his hesitation. Kylo Ren had never really dealt with a grey Force User before. He had only read about their allegiance to either side and in doing so, it was easier to pull a dedicated user to a different side. Granted, Ashlyn was doing it completely on accident. “I’ll just have to be stronger in preventing it.” He said dismissively, before smirking. “Perhaps you’re simply too tempting.” She rolled her eyes in reply as he stood up then, offering her his hand. “Come, let’s go inside and rest. We have a busy week ahead of us.”

            Ash graciously took his hand as he helped her stand, she grabbed her bag and the two wandered to the hut.

 

* * *

 

            “They should have reached Maridun by now.” Hux commented in passing, whether or not he expected Phasma to have anything to say about the notice, or if it was more just a courtesy on his part to inform her.

            Phasma rifled through her belongings in an attempt to make sure she had everything she needed for her upcoming trip to the Finalizer. “Do you think he’ll let her in on the situation?” Phasma asked, her focus still in her bag as the two stood in her apartment.

            “I should hope so.” Hux said. “We need her participation in all this as well. Ren believes having another User on our side would be detrimental.”

            “And if she says ‘no’?” Phasma asked the right questions as she turned to look at the General now. “We cannot forget that Ash has never really had an alliance or even an allegiance to us. We can’t expect that to suddenly change now.”

            “No, we should not just expect that.” Hux agreed. “However, I have a feeling she won’t say ‘no’ to him.”

Phasma nodded, frowning slightly. “This better have not all been a ruse just to get Ashlyn to join us.”

            Hux chuckled. “While I’m sure it started out that way.” He paused. “You and I both know that something changed within Ren, perhaps out of his control. I doubt he planned for it to go this way.”

            “And now it has.” Phasma said. “And we all know that Ren does things for his own personal gain.”

“While true, I don’t believe Ashlyn is simply just a pawn. Not anymore.” Hux said as he began to pace around the room now, his focus on his surroundings. “Do **_you_** think it’s time?” He asked.

            “Honestly? No.” She said. “I think we need Ashlyn to understand what we are trying to accomplish first; she needs to be trained. Ren has even said her control over certain things is nonexistent. She’s almost hazardous at times without realizing it.”

            Hux frowned. “He seems to tell you more than me.”

Phasma smirked knowingly. “It’s because I’m trustworthy. He also loves seeing your discomfort.”

            He waved his hand dismissively. “Regardless, what does he mean that Ash is hazardous?”

            Phasma shrugged. “Apparently she lacks control, which is something he will help her with this week. However, she’s something different; a grey Force User. She has no allegiance to either power. Ren says that could be a problem or detrimental to our success depending on her. She wants nothing more than to protect those she loves and that could be to our advantage.”

            “She’s going to need to learn control sooner rather than later. Ren and I have been pushing off her meeting the Supreme Leader for quite some time now. He’s growing restless; soon we won’t be able to protect her.”

            “And once Ren has taught her the proper control, you should be fine. I have faith in her, she could make or break this. I believe she can do so much in this fight.” Phasma said, sighing once she realized she was now overpacking.

            Hux smiled lazily at her sentiment. “It’s quite strange to me that we’re not only fighting a war with the Resistance, but internally as well.”

            “The things we do for order.” Phasma shrugged. “And you still firmly believe in it?”

“I believe in returning the Galaxy to a former glory, regardless of who we have to step on to get there.”

            “Careful, Hux.” Phasma said. “Your totalitarian side is showing.”

He chuckled. “We will have order in some sense. First, we need to take care of the bigger problem.” He stopped pacing then, noticing Phasma was now looking at him again. “Are you still willing to take recon on the happenings on the Finalizer?”

            “I can, although I’m sure some of the higher ups would rather speak to you personally.” Phasma said.

            “It would be too suspicious if we all went. It’s already enough that he’s bringing Ashlyn.” Hux said. “Find out what you can, I trust you can get this done.” Phasma nodded, confirming she was ready to do what was necessary to further their plans. “Oh, and please do keep Ren out of trouble. Ashlyn too, he’s a horrible influence on her.”

            “You **_did_** clear them for a week alone together, you’re just asking for them to cause trouble.” Phasma smirked.

  He frowned. “Don’t remind me.”

 


	25. Fractured Moonlight on the Sea

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The start of their vacation was a little rocky. Ash learns that she's braver than she realized and that Kylo Ren can't behave even if he wanted to. Oh, and brick walls are important.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh hi everyone! 
> 
> I've been having a crappy week, but your comments have been making it so much better. Keep them coming, I love reading them and hearing what you have to say. 
> 
> Also, since an NSFW chapter is wanted, there might be a chapter dedicated to just that. I haven't figured out exactly how I plan to do it, but you'll know as soon as I do. 
> 
> ANYWAY. Let's dance.

* * *

 

The hut was small; a kitchenette on the left with a small picnic styled table in the middle. There was a washroom further back and to the right upon entrance was a worn down couch and a broken bookshelf. Behind the kitchen was a doorway that lead to what Ashlyn assumed to be the sleeping area.

            Ash hesitated a moment before placing her bag down on the table, her eyes locking on the man in black as he emerged from the sleeping area. He wasted no time exploring and seeing the entire place. “The bed is rather small.” He said. “Shouldn’t be a problem since you practically sleep on top of me.” Kylo joked.

            “You don’t seem to mind.” She retorted.

“Not in the slightest.” He said absentmindedly as he wandered back into the bedroom to grab something from his bag. Kylo Ren had to remember to bring food for the week, well, Phasma so kindly reminded him, as the hut had nothing stored in it. He’d have to thank Phasma later for not packing anything too awful, just packets of dehydrated food. Luckily, there was water.

            He wandered back out of the room, tossing two packages onto the table before walking over to the kitchen area to find plates. “What are these?” Ash asked, picking the packages up.

            “You want to eat, don’t you?”

She frowned. “I meant what’s in them.”

            He shrugged, grabbing two plates and walking over to the table with them. “Guess we’ll find out, won’t we?” Kylo said with a smirk.

            Ashlyn couldn’t help but smile in return as she sat down at the table, while Kylo Ren grabbed water to hydrate the food. He came back with two cups of water as Ashlyn unpackaged the food and distributed the food evenly on each plate. Kylo silently added water and soon the plates were full with bread, vegetables and some meat that Ashlyn didn’t dare ask about. “Wow, look at this.” Ash teased him. “Private getaway complete with a romantic dinner.” He gave her a pointed look as he sat down across from her.

            “Nothing but the best for you, starshine.” He replied dryly before beginning to eat.

             Ash followed his lead and began to eat her meal as well. Silence took over for their dinner conversation as neither one said anything; only stealing awkward glances every so often before the silence became too much for Ashlyn as she broke it. “I want to explore after dinner.” He looked up from his meal, unsure if she was asking or telling him. “I mean--” She began, placing a strand of her red hair behind her ear. “I just want to see more of the planet. From what I gather, nothing will eat me out there. I mean, hopefully nothing will eat me--”

            He interrupting her little rant. “You don’t need my permission to explore, Ash.”

“Well, no. I don’t need your permission for anything.” She said. “I was just… I guess I was--”

            He smirked knowingly. “Would you like me to go with you?”

She smiled sheepishly. “Please?”

            Kylo Ren kept his smirk as he looked back down at his plate, shuffling food around with his fork before deciding if he even wanted to eat anymore. “Where would you like to explore?”

            Ash shrugged. “I don’t know what’s around here. I know it’s night time, but I think it would be fun to see what’s out there.”

            His brow quirked as amusement adorned his face. “Not afraid of the wildlife?”

            “I looked into the natural species of this place, from what I gather a lot of it is on the smaller side or harmless herbivore creatures. The only carnivorous beast is found more in the mountain area. ”

            “So nothing that can eat you.” He restated her babble from before.

She smiled. “Exactly.”

            “Then let’s explore after we eat.” Kylo agreed, noticing the girl before him shifting happily in her seat. It was the little things that brought smiles to her lips, little things he’d never grow tired of giving her if it meant her happiness. By the stars, she was awful for his reputation. He knew that the more and more he felt the tug to the light. It was always worse when she was around.

  

* * *

         

 

            The moon was full that night, illuminating the grassy fields outside of the hut with a slight blue tint from the night. The air was still warm from the beautiful day they had earlier, yet a slight briskness began to invade as the two ventured outside and towards the forest. They walked quietly at first, only their boots crunching with the grass and leaves echoed into the night as they wandered. There was somewhat of a path that they followed, unsure where it would lead them, but they weren’t concerned by the destination right then. “I love it here.” Ash commented as she looked up through the trees, seeing the light from the moon peek in every chance it got.

            “We haven’t even seen all of it yet.” He mused at her enthusiasm.

“I know.” Ash explained. “I just have a good feeling about this place all-together.” So did he. “With all the chaos on StarKiller, after everything that’s happened… it just feels right to be here.”

            “It’s been an interesting six months.” He agreed. “Your arrival turned StarKiller upside down.”

            Ash laughed. “So I’m to blame for all the chaos?”

Kylo Ren pursed his lips, thinking for a moment before replying. “Just in my life.”

            “Really now? How have I caused chaos in your life?” Ash asked, stepping over a rather large tree branch as the two continued their walk deeper into the woods.

            “Isn’t it obvious?” He snorted. “You’ve bewitched me.”

“You think so highly of my abilities, Commander.” Ash teased. That was when her attention fell on this beautiful, blue winged butterfly resting on the tree to her immediate left. “Oh wow.” She gasped, slowly walking over to it. The butterfly fluttered slightly at the sudden intruder, but overall remained still on the tree trunk.

            “Carrier butterfly.” Kylo informed her. “They were used to deliver messages during the Clone Wars. This planet is covered in them.”

            “They’re beautiful.” Ash said; awe evident in her voice. With that, the carrier butterfly took off, flying upwards into the tree. Ash followed it for as long as she could until it disappeared into darkness. She looked back at Kylo Ren as he nodded back to their path. The two continuing on as Ash had another question for him. “You seem to know a lot about the different wars and events of our galaxy. You knew about the Brain Rot plague when I mentioned where I grew up.” She said, her stomach turning at the thought of the outbreak.

            “You forget, I grew up on a very politically influenced planet.” He explained with little to no attachment to the memory. “I had family that were also very big into politics.”

            “I think it’s good to know the history of our galaxy.” Ash said. “It makes repeating mistakes a little more difficult.”

            Kylo smirked. “You think people learn from history? Most of the time history is just repeated. Look at what’s happening now.”

            Ash shook her head. “It’s not considered repeating if it never ended to begin with.” She said. “Most wars often have a digestion period in which things get settled and then the rebuilding begins. This war never had that, the Empire fell and there was still that internal struggle of who was right or wrong. Then the First Order formed.”

            “We’re not solely to blame.” Kylo snorted.

“No, but if we all took the time instead of pointing fingers and accepted the blame, maybe we could fix this.”

             “You seem to have a very strong opinion on this. What happened to being a neutral party?”

             Ash frowned. “I **_am_** neutral. It just seems obvious of an answer.” He hummed in reply, dropping the conversation as they continued on.

              The two found themselves exiting the forest only to be met with a lake that sat quietly in the middle of the forest. It was surrounded by the woods around them, their own private lake it seemed. The moon reflected directly in the middle, illuminating every little detail around them. Ash could see a few rock formations in the lake, signifying it wasn’t as deep as it looked in the night. The view, overall, was breathtaking. “This place isn’t even fair.” Ash groaned, receiving a chuckle from the man next to her. “How can something so pure exist?”

            “The galaxy can be a beautiful place outside of all the bad things.” Kylo agreed, taking in the sight before him, and not just the lake but the excited red haired girl to his right. Her saw her sudden hesitation as she began to walk forward, only to stop herself. He grinned. “You want to swim, don’t you?”

            Ash frowned. “I thought about it, but then immediately regretted it.”

“Why’s that?”

            She looked at him. “You won’t behave.”

He laughed. “I promise my mischievous ways won’t be a hinderance on your fun. If you want to swim, go swim.”

            “I would, but I’m not exactly prepared for it.” She said, looking down at her black tank top and black pants.

            Kylo shrugged, as though it were so obvious. “Go naked.”

The sudden rush of panic coming from the red haired girl was amusing to him. “Yeah, not happening!” She stumbled over her words.

            “I’ll go in with you.” He said, his tone even as though it wasn’t a big deal. It was to her; her heart thudding in her chest only confirmed that. “Unless, of course, you’re scared.”

            Ash frowned. “I’m not afraid of swimming in the lake naked. I’m afraid of swimming in the lake naked with **_you_**.” She explained. “You’re trouble.”

            He grinned wickedly as he began to pull at his shirt. “Fine, then I’ll go swimming without you.” With a swift motion, his shirt was off and Ash immediately found herself turning around to avoid him and any chance of wandering eyes. She shuffled on her feet nervously for a few moments until she heard the breakage in the water. She turned to see the dark haired man now waist deep in the lake, his clothes lying on grass in front of her. By the stars, he did it. “Well, this is lovely.” He commented at the whole scene as he lowered himself into the water more. The water wasn’t too deep, he could touch the bottom and his shoulders were still well above the water.

            “It’s not going to work, Kylo Ren.” Ash informed him, even though her will was faltering. It was working. They both knew that.

            “Live a little.” He said, his tone tempting in all it had to offer. With a loud and obnoxious sigh, Ash grabbed at the bottom of her tanktop. “That’s my girl!”

            Ash glared. “Turn around!” Here merely laughed as he obeyed her command. With shaky hands, Ash followed the Commander’s lead and removed her clothing, leaving it on the grass near his and got into the lake.

            The water was warm, she had no problem adjusting to the temperature difference as she swam closer to Kylo Ren, yet keeping a good distance between them. Unlike Kylo Ren, the water did come over her shoulders. However, she could touch the bottom. “Glad you could make it.” He teased.

            “Yeah, yeah.” Ash said, rolling her eyes. “It’s the view that got me, not you.”

“Sure.” He said knowingly as he splashed her

             Ash glared, splashing him back. “Stop it!”

Kylo grinned, once again splashing her. “Make me.”

            Even though she was still glaring, Ash couldn’t hide the smile that was growing on her lips as she splashed him with a little more gusto. He wouldn’t lose so easily and with one, large swoop of his arms, a wave basically crashed over Ashlyn. She laughed out loud as her red hair was now covering her face from the force.

            Without warning, she dipped her head backwards in an attempt to tame her wild red hair. She stood upright again, running her hands through her hair to smooth it down. She was smiling as she looked back over at Kylo Ren. He was staring. He couldn’t help himself as he looked at her. Whether it was the way the moon illuminated her in the lake, or just an overwhelming sense of how much he really liked her, he couldn’t stop looking at her. “What’s wrong?” She asked.

            He shook his head. “You’re just beautiful.” His voice was quiet, his cocky demeanour fading immediately as he found himself powerless against the redhead… if only she knew how powerless she left him.

            Ash’s teeth raked over her bottom lip; her cheeks burning red. The water wasn’t enough to calm down the heat that was taking over her body. She had never felt this way about anyone, ever. He made her feel a whirlwind of different emotions, yet at the end of the day, it always came back to the one. And while, Ashlyn Novafall was not ready to admit to what extent that feeling went, she knew deep down it was there.

            Whether it was the natural current or the fact that they had been playing a moment before, Ash realized the two were a lot closer than before. If she reached forward, she could touch him. They both knew that.

            He, however, reached out first. His arm snaking it’s way behind her back as he pulled her to his chest. She didn’t resist as her arms reached up and wrapped around his neck, pulling him down to her level, as his lips connected with hers. Their kiss growing more fiery and more passionate as it continued.

            Kylo gently nipped at her bottom lip, causing her to gasp slightly. That was the opening he needed as his tongue slipped into her mouth. A welcome change as their tongues began battling for dominance. Her hands now tangling in his perfect, dark hair. Their bodies getting dangerously close as they continued. Their last window to stopping this desire slowly slipping from their grasps as his hands explored and traveled downward, stopping at her hips as he went to pull her closer.

            He pulled away then, much to Ash’s dismay. The two breathless as he leaned forward, resting his forehead against hers. His eyes were shut tightly, his hands moving away from her hips as he tried to regain some composure. “Sorry.” He mumbled. “I said I’d behave.” Ash’s heart was thudding against her chest, she was almost certain he could hear it too. She slid her hands down his arms, finding his hands and shakily placed them back on her hips. He looked at her then, unable to tell what she was thinking in that moment, her head a fogged mess as he asked the only thing he could in that moment. “Are you sure?”

            She swallowed; nervous sure, but there was one thing she knew… she wanted this. She made that clear as she nodded, leaning in again to kiss him. He pulled her closer to his chest, their bodies now flush against one another. The two would be fully bonded now, there was no denying it as their actions led to a welcome consequence. There was certainly no going back now.

 

* * *

  


           

            Ash’s eyes fluttered open slowly, her vision beginning to focus as the ceiling became increasingly visible from her blurred vision. The sun was peeking in through the window of the hut, lighting the ceiling just enough as it began to kiss the sky.

            She felt like her entire body was wrapped in a million blankets; she was warm and her entire being was at piece. Granted, she was completely and utterly trapped under the arms of the naked man next to her, their legs entangled and the bed sheets only tangling them more together. For once, Ash didn’t mind the state she woke up in.

           After their night at the lake, the two had silently returned to the hut only to end up in the same position all over again. At least this time there was a bed.

          She turned her head, looking over at his sleeping form. The way his hair fell slightly in front of his face; how peaceful he looked… his lips. By the stars, she loved every second of it. She loved every second of him.

         Wait… loved? That implied that there was something else there. That implied that there was an infinitive to go with it. That implied… no. That couldn’t be it. He would never… she could never. The two could never admit it. Never verbally. That was clear. It would always be a secret that they held, a secret she’d keep to herself.

        “I wish you wouldn’t panic in the morning.” The sleepy man grumbled next to her as his eyes slowly opened. He was frowning.

          She smiled sheepishly. “Sorry.” He pulled her even closer to him, kissing her forehead before sighing. His eyes closing again as he relaxed against her. “One of these mornings, I won’t freak out. I promise.” She joked.

         “Thank the stars.” His voice tired, he opened his eyes again. Kylo Ren looked down at the state of the bed they had slept in, noting how tangled they were in the sheets before smirking. “Well, that’s evidence of a good night.”

          Ash’s cheeks burned as she playfully hit his chest. “You said you’d behave.”

With a chuckle, Kylo Ren rolled over, now on top of Ashlyn as he rested on his elbows. He looked down at her deviously. “It’s a bit late for that, don’t you think?”

            Ash scoffed. “Quite late.” He leaned down to peck her lips, the kiss turning heated almost immediately. Ash reluctantly pulled away. “Don’t we have to train today?”

            Ren feigned hurt. “Is that all I’m good for? Training and sex?”

Ash couldn’t help but laugh out loud at that as she cupped his cheeks with her hands. “It doesn’t hurt that you’re good looking too.”

            He smirked. “So you think I’m good looking?”

Ash groaned, rolling her eyes in response. “Alright, enough out of you. Get off me!”

            Kylo rolled off her, the two trying to untangle themselves from the bed sheets; Kylo was the first to break free and was soon off the bed thereafter. Ash… well, Ash had more of a difficult time untangling herself. She blamed Ren for making it so difficult as she finally broke free and got out of bed.

            She was silent as she dressed for the day; hearing Kylo Ren leaving the hut to head outside into the morning daylight, she grabbed her lightsaber and lazily stretched. Her body was sore, but for all the right reasons.

            Ash tied her red hair into a ponytail before finally deciding to greet the day and see what the Force User outside had awaiting her.

 

* * *

          

           

            He was sitting in the tall grass again, like they had done the previous day. Ash didn’t mind, she loved being outside here. This place was heaven on earth in her eyes. She copied his position, sitting crossed legged in front of him as he rolled his shoulders back, adjusting to being awake. “So what are we learning today?” Ash asked hopeful.”

            “I need you to become mentally stronger.” He was abrupt in his phrasing. Then again, he typically was. “Currently, your will is weak, any Force User can get into your head without much of a struggle.”

            Ash frowned. “Well when you put it that way--”

He quirked a brow. “I’m being serious. You need to learn to block out those who want to hurt you.”

            “You seem convinced that those people are out there.”

“Because they are.” His tone quickly turning to aggravation as he inhaled sharply through his nostrils. “You’re part of the First Order, whether you like that or not. What’s worse, you’re close to me and someone could use any information you hold like that against me just by getting into your mind. Without exerting too much energy, I can get into your head right now and take what I want from your mind. You need to learn to counter this.”

            Ash nodded, her tongue darting out over her lips as she licked them. “You’re right. Teach me to keep everyone out.”

            “It’s not as simple as keeping someone out. It’s closing the door and keeping all focus on keeping that door to your mind shut.” He looked at her seriously now. “I’m going to push my way into your mind. Keep me out.”

            She was nervous, but ultimately Ash knew that this was for her own benefit. He wouldn’t overstep his boundaries, not this late in the game. Had this been months ago, Ash would have swiftly objected. Now, she was somewhat thankful to have him. With a determined nod, she was ready.

            The pressure in her head came at an alarming rate; he wasn’t holding back. Ash winced against the pain and throbbing, it felt like his fingers were digging into her brain; sifting and sorting through her memories like a filing cabinet. He pulled at them, one by one, bringing them to the surface. She saw everything…

 

* * *

 

_She suddenly saw Laynor. He was telling her the importance of keeping her gifts a secret. That she needed to keep things locked inside, it was better that way. A memory that was painful in it’s own right._

_**“Fight it, Ash.”** She heard Kylo Ren’s voice echo in her head and immediately tried to push him out. Her eyes shutting tightly, Ash pushed him out of that memory. However, he moved on to the next one. He was everywhere at once in her mind; showing her where her weakness lied._        

            _Sid. He was there, laughing and smiling one moment. Then it all went black. The heat from the flames, the screams… she was reliving it all over again. He was pulling it out of her mind and bringing it to the surface again. It hurt, everything hurt in her entire being as she struggled against it. The visions and memories fading to another one. That one precious memory that she fought so hard to keep in the back of her mind, far away from the surface._

  _The bed where the blond boy lied, her mother sitting next to him, trying to comfort him as the sickness took over. The way her hand ran through his yellow hair, the song she sang. She could hear it. He was so little, the bed was too big for him, but he needed to be comfortable. He was coughing, crying… everything ached in his body and she could feel it all over again. Not that memory, anything but **that** memory. With one last attempt, Ash thought of the only thing she could do, the only thing that ever seemed to work against Kylo Ren. _

_She built her brick wall house and hid inside. At first, it was quiet; eerily quiet. Then, with force, something was bashing against the brick wall. With the strength of a thousand stampeding banthas trying to force their way into the brick house. She could see bricks beginning to dislodge from the wall and immediately ran to them, pushing them back in place and holding onto them for dear life. She had to keep him out, she had to focus._

_He kept pushing with a relentless force, trying to cave in the brick house she built to keep him out. After a few more tries, he pulled back. It wasn’t until she felt herself being physically pulled from her mental state, she realized he had stopped._

 

* * *

 

            He had scooped her up in his arms and onto his lap as he held her, her mental state returning back to the world of the living as she felt the pressure in her head subside all-together. Her eyes snapped open as she looked around, realizing that she was resting against Kylo Ren’s chest as he held her. Ash jerked away slightly, her hands going to her face as she wiped stray tears from her cheeks, her body shaking.

            “It’s all right.” He said softly. “You’re okay.”

She was to a certain degree. She managed to push Kylo Ren out of her mind. That was something to be proud of. Yet at the same time, it still terrified her that a human being could do that to anyone. While his intent was not malicious, someone else would be and they’d fight much harder to get into her mind.

            Ash pulled away then, removing herself from his lap and returning to her original position. She wiped her eyes again, making sure no stray tears were falling. “I’m fine.” She said, forcing a laugh. “I’m fine.”

            He didn’t believe her. “Your enemy won’t be so kind next time.” Kylo regretfully informed her. “You need to keep practicing; build the wall stronger. It’s the only way.”

            She nodded. “Show me.” Her determination returning. “Show me how to be stronger.”

            With a nod, Kylo Ren was back at it again. This time, Ash was ready. Though, the brick enclosure was shaky at first, she kept building at it over and over again as the two repeated this lesson for the rest of the day. She was going to prove her worth and her strength; she was going down as a fighter and nothing was going to stop her.

 


	26. Power Struggle

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ash learns to cope with the Force while also finding out more about Kylo Ren. That's probably a bad idea. Can the two learn to trust each other?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi y'all! Thanks so much for the comments and kudos. My bad week kinda fell into this chapter so I apologize for the doom and gloom.

 

* * *

 

            _The further she ran, the more things began to appear. She was definitely in a run down temple, however, that didn’t seem to be from the chaos that was happening. It was already damaged._

_The smell of smoke and fire burning; she was becoming engulfed in the devastation around her. The vision turned, she was now in another hallway… this time, she saw them. The bodies. Their ages and faces ranging from young to old, around ten bodies lying in the hallway. Some had blaster marks, others had lightsaber burns._

_With force, Ash was pulled out of the burning building. Now she was staring from a distance, the temple now reduced to rubble as the smoke billowed high up into the sky. The flames still crackling and snapping as the temple burned. Closer to the building, and in a distance from her, she saw a hooded figure crouching near what looked like a droid. As she went to move closer to the man, the vision pulled her back and into the surrounding wooded area. The dim glow of the chaos sat in the distance; she wasn’t alone. She would be though, however, when the sudden pull came that ripped her from the dream came._

 

* * *

 

            She lifted her head, jolting out of sleep. At first, she was disoriented as she looked around the dark room. She was alone, the man she had been sleeping next to had disappeared. It had to have been recently, the spot where he lied was still warm.

            With a groan, Ash sat up and rubbed her eyes tiredly. There was no sound coming from inside the hut; he wasn’t in the hut, he couldn’t be. Then, the crack happened. Ash swung her legs over the bed and rushed out of the bedroom. Like she predicted, the hut was empty say for her. She noticed the door was open to the hut and her heart began to race as she grabbed her lightsaber. Were they under attack?

            Ash clutched her saber tightly as she went out into the night. From what she could see in the distance, towards where the lake was, a tree was now leaning off to the side. Perhaps the root was dying; sending the tree over. No, there were burn marks at the trunk. Lightsaber burn marks.

            It was Kylo Ren; this only being confirmed as she saw the red saber swing wildly between the trees, making contact with different trunks. He was shouting angrily; Ash didn’t have to be Force Sensitive to know he was unhappy about something. Cautiously, with saber in hand, Ash stepped forward and made her way to the wreckage before her.

           After a few more slashes, he had stopped. He knew she was there. His shoulders rising and falling rapidly with his breath, his lightsaber humming in the night as he stood there. His back was to her as she stood just before the entanglement of trees and branches that were now destroyed. “Go back inside.” He warned.

         “What’s going on?” Ash called out to him, her voice quivering slightly from uncertainty. He said nothing; she tried again. “Was it my dream?” Nothing. “You said they wouldn’t all come true, so whatever it is--” He growled, lifting his saber and bringing it down again on the nearby tree. Ashlyn flinched, her hand tightening around her own saber as she watched him hack and slash  at the tree.

           “I said go back inside!” He shouted again, the anger and hate radiating off him as he continued to slash.

         This time, Ashlyn obeyed. There were battles she would win and battles she would lose, this one was a definite loss. She returned to the hut and sat at the table; facing the doorway as she waited to Kylo Ren to calm down and come back.

 

* * *

 

            About twenty minutes, that felt like forever, Kylo Ren trudged into the hut. He had a look of defeat on his face; his jaw clenched tightly as he avoided her gaze before plopping down at the table across from her.

           Ashlyn didn’t move, her eyes locked on the man before her as he stared back. His dark eyes not giving away anything as her lightsaber sat on the table between them. Shel icked her lips, her stomach tying in knots as she planned her next words carefully. In her dream, she saw fire, she saw destruction. Something in her dream upset him, but nothing seemed to really involve him in any way. Out of all her dreams, Kylo was always the one to comfort her and take her mind off it. This time, she’d have to do the opposite. “I’m not sure what I saw.” She began. “But whatever it is, it might not happen. You’ve said so yourself. We can prevent it and keep it from happening.”

          His body visibly stiffened, causing Ashlyn to sink into herself a little. “It already happened.” He mumbled.

           “What?”

“It already happened.” He repeated as though she didn’t hear him the first time.

            She was dumbfounded. “I thought Force Visions only showed what was going to happen?”

            “Not necessarily.” He said dryly. “This wasn’t a Force Vision.”

Ash pressed on, knowing she was going to overstep some boundary with him. “Then what was it?”

            “A nightmare.” He stated quickly, now looking away from her.

Ash frowned. “I’ve never seen that place before, how could I have a nightmare about it?”

            Kylo rolled his eyes. “I didn’t say it was **_your_** nightmare.”

It finally clicked as Ashlyn realized he was right, it wasn’t her nightmare… it was **_his_**. She was seeing into his mind while he slept, and unknowingly too. “Kylo… I--”

            He shook his head. “Perhaps we’ve been training our minds too hard.” He suggested. That had to be it. He knew Ashlyn wasn’t strong enough on her own to get through to his thoughts. At least, he hoped that were the case for his own benefit. However, the issue still remained. She got into his head, of all people. Ashlyn Novafall was at least strong enough to do so, regardless if he was drained or not. Sure, being bonded helped as well. Yet, she still needed some skill to do so, especially unintentionally. That was a sign that she was getting stronger and perhaps could go up against the Supreme Leader. A feeling of dread came over him; that encounter was going to happen whether he liked it or not. “We should keep focus on making your mind stronger.”

            Ash silently agreed as she reached out to her saber and grabbed it carefully. She began to nervously play with it in her hands, careful to not set it off as she did. “Maybe it was just a fluke.” She suggested quietly.

           He gave her a pointed look. “You’re getting stronger, Ash. Whether we want to admit it or not. My ego, sure that’s bruised, but your connection to the Force is growing.”

           Ash nodded, he was right. She was getting stronger each day she trained with him. It was strange to her, only a few months ago she was so adamant about staying away from the Force and that she wasn’t even sensitive to it. Now, she was more than willing to learn and become one with the Force. However, times like this she still had trouble accepting. While Ashlyn was a firm believer of giving those around her their mental privacy, she knew it was only a matter of time before she could do it intentionally. If she could get into his head, there really was to limit in her eyes and that scared her. Yet, some part of her, deep down… it excited her.

             “Do you want to talk about it?”

He quickly removed himself from the table. “No.” Kylo’s answer was sharp as he walked to the bedroom to get dressed for the day. Even though it was really early in the morning, he didn’t care. He was awake and there was no point in going back to bed. He’d use this time to meditate and ultimately avoid her questions. “I’ll be outside.” He said quickly before exiting the hut all-together.

            Ash sighed, knowing that there were just somethings about Kylo Ren she may never get to know. Ultimately, this was more frustrating than anything. For now, she’d follow in his steps and be ignorant to it all.

* * *

 

            After the sun finally began to rise in the sky, Ashlyn had left the hut to greet the morning. It was quiet; say for the natural wildlife of Maridun. A welcomed silence as she looked around. In the center of the field where they seemed to keep training it, was Kylo Ren. He was sitting, meditating and connecting to the Force around him. Also, he was trying to stay calm, which was ultimately impossible with the girl coming out of the hut. He sensed her frustrations as she ignored him and walked passed him. He opened one eye to watch her as she headed for the woods and towards where the lake was. Her lightsaber attached to her hip as she walked. He sighed before closing his eye again and trying to reconnect.

            Ash kept walking into the woods, the daylight really changed the entire vibe of the surrounding area as she ducked through trees and stepped over fallen logs from earlier. He really made a mess of the immediate area.

            That didn’t stop her as she made it to the lake, the view still breathtaking as she walked closer to the water. Ash removed her saber from her belt and held it tightly in both hands. With ease, the amber blade rushed out of the hilt. The buzzing from the energy filling her ears as she inhaled deeply through her nostrils.

            With fluid motion, she swung the saber, practicing wielding it as well as a few moves Phasma had taught her. Ash’s lightsaber was becoming an extension of her now; a piece of her that helped connect and balance with the Force. The more she practiced with it, the more she began to feel at peace with the events of earlier. Her movement swift and connecting, like waves lapping against an ocean. She was a tidal wave of energy; energy she wasn’t sure she could keep in check and under control. For now, she could. Yet, that lingering feeling now sinking in that someday she’d lose that control.

             What if the power overtook her? What if she became what everyone on StarKiller feared. Would she succumb to the Force and grow power hungry? No. She wouldn’t let that happen. Kylo Ren told her she was strong and she would use that strength to fight off the temptation of power. She was a grey Force User for a reason, and she would learn to balance it. She had to, for her own sanity.

           Ash could feel Kylo Ren had entered the same space she was occupying. That didn’t stop her from practicing. Her moves growing more heated and aggressive as she continued. The lightsaber whizzing and hissing as it swung with ease and control. With one last swing, knowing he was coming closer, she turned. The saber now pointing in Kylo Ren’s direction as he stopped moving. The lightsaber blade a few mere inches from his face as he stood there, unflinching. His brow lifted in a curious manner as his lips twitched slightly upward. “Are you going to kill me now?”

           Ash hesitated for a moment before pulling back, the blade retracting quickly. “No, you’d be expecting it.” His smirk grew as Ashlyn sighed, the frustration returning. “Promise me that someday you’ll be open with me.”

           His eyes narrowed. “I am open with you.”

“Not unless I ask the right questions.” Ash informed him. “You know so much about me; my family, my past. I know only that you were brought up around politics and the Force. That’s it.”

            Kylo rolled his eyes. “What would you like to know then?”

“Anything!” She exclaimed. “I’d even accept knowing your favorite color at this point!”

            Kylo came closer, towering over her as he looked down. “You’d run away if you knew half the things I’ve done.”

            Ash stood her ground. “Try me.”

He exhaled sharply. “What would you like to know then?”

            She wouldn’t celebrate her victory yet. Sure, he sounded willing, but that didn’t mean he’d actually tell her. “What was happening in your dream?”

            He pursed his lips, his body growing tense before he gave her something to go on. “There was a new Jedi Academy after the fall of the Empire. A Force User decided to begin a new age of Jedi, to help them regrow and help Force Sensitives and Users find a place to work together and be safe.” He paused. “That didn’t happen. It burned down, as you saw. Everyone died.”

            Ash began to feel a pit form in her stomach, as if she knew only bad things to come out of his mouth as she asked. “How?”

            He scoffed. “Don’t be daft, Ashlyn. You know the First Order does not take to kindly to Force Users.” Sure, he wasn’t telling her the full story. At least, he told her **_something_**.

            Ash’s confidence faltered slightly, her voice mouse like. “But there were children.”

“What would you like me to tell you, starshine?” Kylo’s question was rhetorical. “We’re not the good guys.”

            “Were you there?” She asked, though she knew the answer. His silence only told her so as she repeated the question. “Kylo, were you there?”

            His face was devoid of all emotion. “I was.” She remembered the lightsaber burns on some of the bodies; the nightmare replaying in her mind as she tried to make sense of it all. “You wanted the truth.” He reminded her, his tone cruel. “Do you feel better hearing it out loud about the monster I am?”

            Ash closed her eyes, channeling the Force to guide her then as she took a much needed breath. “Monsters don’t regret their actions.”

            “I don’t regret it.” He said.

“You must, otherwise you wouldn’t have nightmares about it.” Ash said, feeling the shift in power now. Kylo Ren used fear and aggression to get his way, now, Ashlyn was using sense and reasoning to counter him. A power struggle by two different means. “Maybe there is still some light in you.”

            Ashlyn couldn’t remember the last time Kylo Ren glared at her with such ferocity. She was almost certain anyone else he would have killed for saying such things to him. She noticed, his hand hovering over his lightsaber. Now, she was uncertain if it was habit or perhaps he really would slice her open. “You know nothing.” He hissed. “I will destroy any traces of the light within me. Do not forget that.” The worst part about Ashlyn growing more and more intuitive, she was sensing the light and the pull that Kylo Ren was feeling. He knew this kind of power struggle was bound to happen, any other apprentice he would have cut down by now. Ashlyn, of course, was different for many reasons.

            Ashlyn gave in first, reaching her hand out and touching Kylo Ren’s arm gently. The same arm that was reaching for his saber. He flinched slightly before calming down, his hand no longer hovering. “Maybe you’re right.” She said. “There’s still things I don’t understand about you; things you’ve done and things you’ll continue to do.” Defeat was in her voice as she spoke. “Just promise you’ll do right by me. In whatever way that means to you.”

            Now he was the one to reach out as he pulled Ashlyn to his chest, holding her close. As fearsome as Kylo Ren was, the comfort she unknowingly gave to him grounded him. “There’s things I keep from you for a reason.” He said. “Understand that if it wasn’t for your own benefit--”

            “I know.” Ash said, she could feel it. “I’m trusting you blindly, I just want something back in return to know it’s warranted.”

            She wasn’t wrong. Ashlyn was blindly following him into the unknown and he gave her nothing to go on. He knew where they were going, she had nothing to go on. The least he could do is keep her trust; he did nothing to warrant so and she still did without question. “It’s black, by the way.”

            Ash couldn’t help but laugh. “I should have known.”

He unwillingly smiled as he rested his chin on the top of her head. “You will know as much as you need to know.” He explained. “I’ll give you as much as I can… just trust that I will.”

            “I do trust you.” She said. “As crazy as that seems. I do.”

Kylo Ren held Ashlyn close to him, the two calming down after the excitement from earlier and even from a few moments ago. His mind wandering to his threat, any light that threatened to pull him back to that side, he’d squash immediately. Ashlyn was his light. He knew that. He knew she was the pull that kept him from fully diving into the Dark Side. If the time came… would he have to end her to prevent that? Could he? He realized then Ashlyn wasn’t just in danger from Snoke… he was just as bad, if not worse for her.

    

* * *

       

            Their week went by seemingly quick, it was their last day on Maridun and the last day before they’d need to venture to StarKiller. Kylo Ren seemed on edge the last twenty-four hours, not wanting to expose Ashlyn to the Finalizer. He didn’t know if he could keep an eye on her as much as he would like. Keeping Ashlyn out of trouble couldn’t be his number one priority, especially when it came to keeping their secret and his reputation intact. He simply had to trust that Ashlyn could stay out of trouble on her own, or that perhaps Phasma could keep a watchful eye. Granted, there was an argument that could be made that Kylo Ren was actually the cause of all her troubles. He’d dismiss that immediately.

            He had been relentless in their later training sessions. He had to be, especially after their fight from the other day. If Ashlyn had more danger to worry about besides Snoke and the overhaul of power, she also had to worry about Kylo Ren himself. He needed to know she could defend herself from all danger, including him.

           The two didn’t bring up their power struggle again. Ashlyn learned to accept that she needed to trust him blindly for now and Kylo Ren learned that he had to give her something every so often, he had to keep the trust he earned. Not just for the sake of the overhaul, but for the sake of their relationship. Yet, that dark thought in the back of his mind that Ashlyn was the light that kept pulling him back… he knew he needed to learn to live with it and not let it pull at him too much. If it did, Ashlyn would be a bigger problem than he initially realized.

            Ash didn’t mind their rigorous training, she knew she needed to be pushed to her limits if she was going to get any stronger. Except right now, her brain felt like mush as her head rested on her arms. Her body practically sprawled out on the picnic table in the kitchenette as she lied there in her tank top and shorts. She was definitely a sight to be held.

            “Starshine, you’re going to have to move eventually.” He said from the couch, his datapad in his hands as he checked on a message from Hux. Something he’d keep to himself for the time being, all things considered. Poor Ashlyn’s brain couldn’t handle hostile takeovers right now.

            She groaned in reply, receiving an airy chuckle from the man in black as she reluctantly raised her head to look at him. “Can’t brain. Everything hurts.” She grumbled before putting her head back down.

            He got off the couch and sauntered over to the table before plopping down on the bench. He rested his arms on the table by her head, his chin resting on them as he watched her. She looked at him, forcing as much of a smile as she could before laughing. “I feel so pathetic.”

            “You should.” Kylo Ren teased. “It’s just mind exercises. You make it seem like they’re difficult.”

            “They are!” She exclaimed, he grinned. “I can’t believe we leave tomorrow. It feels like it went by so quickly.”

            Kylo shrugged slightly. “Time flies when you’re busy training and fucking.”

Ash yelped. “Damn it, Ren!” Her cheeks burning from embarrassment as he laughed at her discomfort. She forced herself to sit now, her brain still feeling like porridge as she put a leg on either side of Kylo Ren. He sat upright now, his elbows resting on her knees as he looked up at her. “We’ll have to be completely different when we go to the Finalizer, right?” She asked. “I don’t know how I can come back down from this high I’m feeling.”

            “Only in the public eye.” He said, kissing her thigh. “There’s always private training sessions I will gladly make time for.”

            Ash grinned as he kept placing kisses on her thigh. “You’ll be too busy to make time for me.” She baited.

            “Too busy for you?” He asked between kisses. “Never.” Ash yelped before bursting into a fit of giggles as Kylo nipped at her thigh. He was grinning wickedly as he did.

            “I’m serious.” She said as her laughter died slightly.

“As am I.” His eyes narrowed but he never lost the smug smile.

            She became lost in thought, although surprising herself that her brain was still working to an extent as she did. “Do you think there will ever be a time where we won’t have to hide this?” She wondered. “Not that I mind keeping secrets, it’s been quite the thrill.” Their relationship was the really the only secret she enjoyed at this point.

            Kylo Ren let his lips linger on her thigh for a moment, debating how to answer this question. The truth was; no. Not now, at least. “I’m not sure.” He said softly. “Perhaps someday when everything changes for the better.”

            Ash pursed her lips as intuition took over. She knew in order to get any answers from Kylo Ren her best bet was to always ask the right questions. “You seem so confident in this change happening.”

            He looked up at her. “With the right people, it will.”

She pushed further. “And who are the right people?”

            Kylo smirked, kissing her thigh again. “How about you trust me until the time is right?”

Ash scoffed. “We’ve been over this. I **_do_** trust you.” She admitted. “Still not my best decision, but the only choice I have.”

            He sat up straight now, his hands running up Ashlyn’s thighs and stopping at her hips. “Then trust me when I say, you’ll know when the time is right.”

            “Fine.” She said with a more finite tone than she wanted to. Ash leaned forward, pecking his lips quickly. “I trust you to do the right thing.”

            “ _The right thing_ is such a vague statement.”

Ash rolled her eyes. “Fine, then promise to keep doing right by me.” An earlier conversation repeating itself.

            He grinned, leaning up once more and kissing her. “That I can do.”

 


	27. Welcome To The Finalizer

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ash arrives on the largest ship she has ever seen. Kylo Ren is a sneaky son-of-a-you-know and Phasma will keep them in line... hopefully.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi all! 
> 
> We have so much story to cover so let's go!

* * *

 

Phasma arrived on the Finalizer, marching out of her transport ship with purpose and in full armor. The troops honored her by meeting her on the launch deck, standing in line and saluting the Captain as she passed by. At the end of her walk, a man dressed in First Order light grey was waiting for her. His arms folded behind his back, clasped gently around his datapad as he offered a disingenuous smile. “Captain Phasma.” He greeted.

            “Lieutenant Damar.” She returned his lack of enthusiasm.

Lieutenant Espen Damar was a man in his mid-thirties, yet one could argue he looked much older with the dark circles around his eyes. He didn’t sleep much with this job, but that could be said for most First Order personnel. He had beady black eyes and slight stubble on his pronounced chin. He was a proud man; a man who would sell out his best friend just to get ahead in his ranking. That wasn’t exactly a secret. He also had quite the distaste for General Hux and Commander Ren; Captain Phasma was the least of his worries. Though, that was more sexism than actual fact. “I see you arrived alone.”

            “Good to know your eyesight is still intact, Lieutenant.” If she were speaking to Hux or Ren, her statement would have been in good fun. However, this was clear malice.

            Damar unlocked his hands and pulled up his datapad, looking through a flight itinerary as his face contorted to annoyance. “I hear the Commander is bringing his new apprentice to the Finalizer?”

            “He is.” Phasma confirmed flatly, the two now taking this moment to begin their walk from the launch bay and headed for the internal hallways of the Finalizer.

            “I believe the Commander will be pleased with the proposal we have in place for him. His current reports on the location of the separatists and with the archival map, we should find the missing piece soon.” Damar said as they walked. “Yet, he still has yet to inform us what this missing piece entails.”

            Phasma snapped. “That is classified.” She wasted no time in putting Damar in his place. Not only was Phasma’s rank above his, she also had the ace up her sleeve in being the General’s right hand. It also didn’t hurt to have Kylo Ren in her back pocket when needed. While Commander and Lieutenant were technically of equal rank, the base saw it differently when it came down to Kylo Ren. His rank was enhanced with the fear that followed in his wake.

            “Knowing what we are looking for could help in the overall investigation as well as keep the mission from going astray.”

            “Perhaps you should keep your focus and energy on what you were assigned and leave the extra work to myself, the Commander and the General.” Phasma said. “Are we clear?”

            Damar grimaced. “Crystal, Captain.”

“You will notify me the minute Commander Ren makes his final descent on the Finalizer. I wish to speak with him in my quarters the moment he arrives.” Phasma demanded, her helmet hiding her knowing smirk as she added. “He may bring his apprentice.”

            “Captain.” Damar confirmed with a glower as Phasma quickened her pace and headed for her quarters on the large ship. Damar kept his glare as he turned and made his way back to the launch bay to await the arrival of the Commander. However, the First Order Lieutenant did have trouble keeping his mischievous side down as he pulled up the file of the Commander’s new apprentice.

* * *

 

            “Holy cow, it’s huge!” Ash gawked at the sight before her. She stared in amazement through the cockpit windshield at the sheer mass and size of the Finalizer. “You didn’t tell me it was a giant ship.”

            Ren had a small, amused smirk on his lips as he reached for his helmet. “You didn’t ask.” He placed the helmet over his head, the clasps clicking in place. They were readying for their final descent onto the Finalizer. “Phasma isn’t happy.” He quipped, feeling the aggravation from Phasma onboard.

            Ash’s face scrunched slightly in confusion. “Oh?”

“She hates the Finalizer and everyone in it.” Ren explained. “Or rather, she really hates some of the higher ups.”

            Ash made the observation. “Phasma seems to be the glue holding everything together in this organization. She keeps you and Hux in line.”

            “That she does.” Although his voice distorted, he spoke with a glimmer of respect for the Captain. The three of them had been together for a long time now; that respect was earned and mutually given by all of them. “Remember, keep your distance.” He said, now sounding more like her Commander again. “Do not get close to anyone on this base, speak only when you have to, and don’t eat the green gelatin thing.”

            Ash laughed. “Or the grey stuff.”

The distorted chuckle was unnerving. “I’m serious. Keep your distance and follow Phasma’s lead. Remember what I taught you.”

            She nodded as she inhaled deeply through her nostrils. The ship beginning to dock on the Finalizer. Ash saw the awaiting troops in the launch bay, standing in line to welcome them. What the hell had she gotten herself into?

 

* * *

          

            Ash’s heart was racing in her chest as she followed a few steps behind Kylo Ren. Her head forward as her eyes locked on anything besides the helmets or faces of the personnel on the launch bay. She could feel the hesitation and anxiety radiating off practically everyone in the room as Kylo Ren walked with purpose. They feared him. They all did. He knew it too. Except unlike Kylo Ren relishing in the fear, Ash was feeling completely drained by it. So much negative emotion in a confined space was enough to to drive her crazy. It was like trying to walk forward with a weight shackled to her legs. A very heavy weight that she was unable to pull. A resistance pulling her back as she tried to move through it.

            She had to be strong; not for him but for herself and her own sanity. She was stronger than this, she knew that. Now Ash had to find that strength as the two stopped and were greeted by a smug looking man in grey. “Commander.” He saluted before looking around Kylo Ren to Ashlyn. “You must be Ashlyn Novafall. Welcome to the Finalizer, I am Lieutenant Damar.”

            Before Ash could return any formalities, Kylo Ren spoke. “Captain Phasma is expecting us.” The distortion causing Lieutenant Damar to flinch slightly. Without another word, Kylo Ren walked around the Lieutenant, Ash quickly following his lead. However, before leaving Damar behind, she glanced in his direction. His scowl was not something she’d so easily forget, there was something about that man she didn’t like. While she couldn’t place it, she felt it. For now, she’d blindly follow Kylo Ren deeper into the Finalizer and hopefully find Captain Phasma.

 

* * *

 

            Kylo Ren didn’t knock, he didn’t have to. He knew Phasma was waiting for them inside her quarters. He stormed right in, followed by a less confident Ashlyn Novafall. The door slid behind them as Phasma came out from the refresher in all her armor say for her helmet, looking at them with relief. “Thank the stars, you two finally made it.” She looked around  the brooding Commander to the uncomfortable Ash. “Are you alright, darling?”

            Ash nodded. “Someone tends to draw the worst out in people, it’s overwhelming.” Phasma had an idea of what Ashlyn meant. She may not have been a Force User, but she did spend a lot of time with Kylo Ren to know that he felt the emotions of those around him. Ashlyn was no different.

Kylo Ren removed his helmet. “It’s better to be feared than loved.” He mused. “Exactly why haven’t I been allowed to kill Damar yet?”

“Here’s a crazy idea.” Ash suggested. “How about you just **_don’t_** kill anyone while we’re here?”

Phasma snickered at Ashlyn’s snarky comment. “Life would be easier if Damar weren’t around.” She agreed somewhat.

“I assume he’s not well liked?” Ash asked.

Kylo gave her a pointed look. “You’ll find out soon enough.”

            Phasma silently agreed; her attention now turning to a different matter. “Ren, have you received--”

            He interrupted sharply. “I will take care of it.”

Ash looked from Phasma to Kylo Ren, then back to Phasma before sighing. “Ah, yes. You’re all in on this crazy little secret that’s way above my pay grade.”

            Phasma quickly glared in Kylo Ren’s general direction. Ren returned the glare just a fiercely. “Captain Phasma and I have a few things to catch up on. I recommend finding the maintenance team and introduce yourself.” Ash was now joining in the frowning session. “And for the love of the maker, please stay out of trouble.”

            Ash rolled her eyes. His concern was unwarranted. “I’m not a child.”

“We aren’t worried so much about you causing problems as we are **_them_**.” Phasma explained, knowing Kylo Ren’s tone was just going to blow up in his face if he kept going. Although right now she’d love to see that.

            Ashlyn understood their concern, she just hated how Kylo Ren would talk down to her when he was aggravated. Even if he wasn’t aggravated with her, it always came out at her. “Alright, mom and dad.” Ash said trying to joke. “I’ll be good and explore safely.”

            “One of us will find you.” Kylo added, wrapping his arm around her and pulling her close. He kissed the top of her head lovingly before letting her go to wander. As Ash reluctantly left, Phasma gave Ren a **_very_** knowingly look as she quickly grabbed her datapad and began messaging feverently. “What are you doing?” He asked.

            “I just won a bet.” Phasma said as she messaged the General back on StarKiller.

Kylo narrowed his eyes, his tone menacing. “What bet?”

            Phasma smiled sweetly. “That you’d be the first to admit your current relationship with Ms. Novafall.” A message blipped on her datapad, cursing her out and skepticism over the matter.

            “I admitted nothing.” He said sternly, watching Phasma type away on her datapad. “Stop telling Hux that anything happened!”

            Phasma’s smile turned more mischievous. “You’re sure getting upset over not admitting anything.”

            He groaned, rolling his eyes before wandering over to the couch and plopping down. “Can we **_please_** just go over our mission?” He suggested, knowing once they got Hux on the hologram, he’d be just as relentless as Phasma. However, they both knew they had to go over their next mission and Ren wanted it to be over with sooner rather than later. Someone had to keep an eye on the wandering red haired girl in the very large First Order station.

* * *

  
  


            Ash wandered the hallways, looking around for any sign of where the maintenance hall would be. Her datapad hadn’t updated yet with the Finalizer map so she was on her own. She received a few strange looks from anyone she passed. She felt completely out of place on the Finalizer. While the First Order wasn’t known for its welcoming atmosphere, at least on StarKiller she felt home. Here she felt lost and overwhelmed by the negative cloud hanging over the entire ship.

            “Excuse me?” Ash turned, seeing a bald man with a scar over his left eye. “I’m sorry to pester, but I saw your patch.” He said, pointing to the maintenance insignia. “Are you Ashlyn?”

            Ash forced a nervous smile, knowing she was already breaking all of Kylo Ren’s rules. “I am.”

            He smiled with relief. “I’m glad I found you.” He shoved his hand forward to shake hers, Ash cautiously took it. His shake was firm, but friendly. “I’m Arc, the director of maintenance on the Finalizer.”

            Ash felt her body relax slightly, realizing she had accidentally found her other team. Her smile now a little more reassured as she shook his hand. “It’s so nice to meet you. I’ll be honest, I didn’t know we had a maintenance team outside of StarKiller.”

            He laughed. “We don’t really deal with StarKiller, it’s a separate base from us. However, Korran was in charge of the entire maintenance crew before we separated to StarKiller and Finalizer. Then Sid took over, I’m sure he had a lot going on with StarKiller. Fortunately, he didn’t have to keep an eye on us too much.” Ash’s smile faded slightly at the mention of Sid’s, so did Arc’s. “I’m sorry to hear about him.”

            “It was difficult, but we pulled through.” Ash said, trying to keep the conversation positive.

            “Well, now you’re here.” Arc said, returning to a happy medium. “And maybe once StarKiller is done, we can bring our teams together again.”

            “I’d like that.” Ash admitted. The idea was nice; yet who knew if it was even plausible. What was to become of Ashlyn Novafall, the mechanic, after StarKiller was finished?

          “Where are my manners?” He asked, suddenly realizing he was being far from hospitable. “Come meet the team!” Ash nodded, ready to meet the maintenance team of the Finalizer.

 

* * *

 

           Arc lead her towards a far point on the Finalizer, a thankfully quiet hallway. The two making small talk about the different tones of each base. Arc asked how the team was doing, having really only met them once or twice since his start. He also explained how he came to work for the First Order, like Ashlyn, it was a total accident. He had fixed a really banged up TIE fighter and received somewhat unwanted attention from its pilot. The First Order contacted him to join their cause, so he did. “I don’t have to be part of their fight, I just have to fix their ships.” He explained. “It pays well and I’m pretty happy.” The two walked into an open area that looked like a rec room. There were four men lounging around, their attention perking up as the looked at the door. “Alright guys, fall in! Our Head of Maintenance is here!”

          The group quickly removed themselves from whatever they had been doing prior and rushed over like they had never seen a lady before. Let alone, a redhaired lady. “Hi everyone.” Ashlyn smiled warmly.

         “Ashlyn, this is Krux, Raif, Parron and Gorron.” Arc said, pointing to each man respectively. Ash noticed each man was different in their own right, Krux was a rather large man and reminded her of Grim. Raif was a very tall and slender man with a buzz cut. Parron and Gorron were apparently brother’s but not twins like her the guys on StarKiller. It was weird, almost like looking into a bizarro world of her own life. “Would you want to have dinner with the crew, get to know us all better?” Arc suggested.

        Ash pursed her lips, unsure if that was the best idea or not. She wasn’t sure what Kylo Ren would think and if he had plans for her later. Then again, she was sent here to meet the other maintenance team and get to know the Finalizer. “You know what, yeah. I’d love to.” She finally said, smiling more as she began to feel somewhat comfortable with them.

 

* * *

 

            “And where is he now?” Kylo asked, frustration on his face as he sat back on the couch in Phasma’s quarters. His eyes closing tightly as he tried to focus.

            “They’ve moved the Supremacy. I’m not entirely sure the exact coordinates.” Phasma confirmed. “From what I gather, it’s paranoia. He’s afraid of you failing to find Skywalker before the Resistance does.”

            “The Resistance has caught onto our plan for the missing piece.” Kylo confirmed.

Phasma looked in shock. “For certain?” Kylo’s silence only confirmed this. “You haven’t told Hux?”

            “It’s not safe.” Kylo commented. “There’s certain things I must keep from Hux. If he were to go before the Supreme Leader…”

            “I understand.” Phasma said, not needing the explanation. “And the Resistance still is unaware of the overall plan?”

             “As far as I know. They just believe our only focus is going after the map.”

“And Ashlyn?” Phasma brought up.

             He looked at her through narrowed eyes. “What about Ashlyn?”

“She still doesn’t know.”

            “How do you propose I tell her?” He asked in annoyance, remembering their little power struggle back on Maridun. “While she has greatly improved in blocking out intruders from her thoughts, I’m still unsure if it’s time.”

            “Hux said Snoke wants to see her.” Phasma informed him. “You can’t protect her forever.”

            Kylo shifted in his seat. “Here I thought having another Force User would make our cause easier.” His tone sarcastic.

            “It would have been if you weren’t in love with her.” Phasma confirmed. “It’s only harder because unlike Hux and myself, if she did die in the process you would be affected.”

            Kylo snorted. “I’d be affected if you and Hux died.”

Phasma smiled sarcastically. “Only because you need us. I am certain that without us you could keep on going.”

            “I can function without Ashlyn.” He argued. “I’ve done it before, I can do it again.” She gave him a pointed look to which he simply sighed; his confident demeanour faltering. “I just wouldn’t want to.”

            “Exactly my point.” Phasma’s voice was calmer now; a more genuine and caring tone taken over. “You know, it’s okay to let someone in every once in awhile.”

            He frowned. “We are **_not_** having this talk, Phasma.”

“I’m just saying.”

            With one last eyeroll, Kylo Ren asked another important question. “Since Snoke is not arriving, do we still have to stay?”

            “Unfortunately.” Phasma replied with a sympathetic smile. “We can’t look suspicious.”

            Kylo Ren began to realize more and more, the deeper they went with this plan, he couldn’t keep Ashlyn safe. He was going to need her to be her own force to help in their takedown. Yet, he was holding himself back from letting her be a part of it. Perhaps it was because if it did, then the danger that came with it would be too real.

             While he cared if Phasma and Hux died, he knew they were ready for that ending. If Ashlyn died? That would affect him in a whole other way. They were fully bonded now, if anyone were to rip that bond apart, it would tear them to pieces from the inside. Ashlyn could fend for herself, but Kylo Ren wasn’t ready to let go of that selfish want and need to keep her oblivious to it all. He did promise her more transparency. In his mind, however, keeping her in the dark would keep her safe for just a while longer. “Speaking of our head of maintenance.” He said. “I should go find her.”

            Phasma shook her head. “Allow me.” Kylo eyed her skeptically at the offer. “You have to keep some distance from her this week. It would be suspicious otherwise.” He hated that she had a point.

* * *

  


            Ash really enjoyed spending time with the other maintenance team. She learned a lot about what made them tick, their overall vibe, their likes and dislikes. It was a great way to calm her nerves and recenter her focus. She was around people who were emitting a more positive energy unlike when she first arrived.

            She was walking back from dinner with the maintenance team, they were laughing and telling stories back and forth. “So what do you think about my team?” Arc asked her.

            “You all remind me of the guys back on StarKiller.” She said with a smile. “I miss them.”

             Arc laughed. “Maintenance is just a special group, no matter where they are. We get each other, ya know?”

            “Misfits who fit in together.” Krux said with a wide grin, the group laughing again as they turned the corner.

            The laughter died down pretty quickly as they stared at a shiny, chrome trooper walking down the hallway towards them. “Ms. Novafall.” She said.

            Ash was smiling still, a small smile but a smile nonetheless. “I suppose I’m needed, Captain Phasma?”

            Phasma looked at the group she was with. “When you’re ready.”

Ash looked at Arc and the gang. “Duty calls, gentleman. I’ll be seeing you soon.”

            “Don’t be a stranger, Ash!” Arc beamed.

Ash turned to Phasma, signaling to her she was ready. The two leaving the maintenance hall. “How was your afternoon?” Phasma asked.

            “It was great connecting with the rest of maintenance. They’re all really nice.” Ash said. “Yours?”

            Phasma smiled knowingly under her mask. “Successful.” She was short and to the point.

             Ash groaned. “Are you just like the Commander? Ask only the right questions and perhaps I’ll get an answer?”

            “He makes things a little more complicated than I do.” Phasma acknowledged.

“You have no idea.” Ash mumbled as the two women continued to walk.

            “There is nothing going on today.” Phasma stated plainly. “I recommend you rest for tomorrow. The fun has only just begun.”

            Ash laughed, she was in such high spirits it didn’t bother her that her time on the Finalizer would be a stressful one. She realized after her dinner with maintenance that she had people here who were there to help her through it. Arc, the boys, Phasma and yes, even Kylo Ren (mostly when he wasn’t being a pain in her behind). Things would be okay… for now.

* * *

 

            _Ash was running in an empty void. Not the empty void she had been absent from for a while now. Ever since she began sharing a bed with Kylo Ren, their shared dreams were minimal to completely nonexistent. They didn’t care either way. However, now Ash was running in a void once more._

_Soon, around her walls began to appear. They were much lighter than the walls on StarKiller and the Finalizer. She didn’t recognize where she was. Finally, she stopped, taking in the sights around her. Where the heck was she?_

_There was a beeping in the distance. Ash sharply turned, seeing a round, orange and white BB unit rolling towards her. It looked up at her curiously, before beeping for her to follow and quickly speeding from the direction it had come from. Ash wasted no time in running after the BB unit. “Wait!” She called out to it. It simply beeped for her to keep following._

_Ash made it to a cross section, the orange and white BB unit was now nowhere to be found. She glanced down each hallway, wondering where it could have gone to. The hallways melted around her, forming the empty void once more._

_Then, from the darkness, Kylo Ren stormed forward. His helmet over his head as his boots heavily made contact with the ground. At first, she felt comfort seeing him. Then, she realized, something was wrong as he came closer. Ashlyn felt a tightness around her throat as she watched his arm fly up towards her. Her hands found her throat, trying to alleviate some of the pain as he kept coming closer._

_Kylo Ren grabbed his lightsaber, the blade hissing out of the hilt. With one swift motion, he sliced down at Ashlyn, forcing her out of her dreaming state._

 

* * *

 

            She sat up, gasping for air, a cold sweat taking over her body as her chest rose and fell rapidly to compensate for her breathing. The room was dark, of course it was, they were in the middle of space. Something she wasn’t used to waking up to. She was unable to tell how late or early it was. With a groan, she reached over to her datapad; early. The answer was it was really early in the morning.

            Ash swung her legs over the side of her bed, her feet touching the cold ground. It brought her back into reality as she calmed down. Her room on the Finalizer was much smaller than StarKiller. It was cold and empty, it didn’t feel right to be in there. She’d have to make due and deal with it, however.

            What she didn’t want to “deal with” was her latest dream with Kylo Ren killing her. That wasn’t really something anyone was ready to focus on. She almost half expected the other Force User to be barging in right now and telling her that the vision was wrong. However, she could feel him; she felt his reluctance. He was awake too, and he wasn’t all too happy with what she saw either. Yet, neither one could act on it. They had to behave. Both also somewhat thankful that they weren’t able to face each other right in that moment.

            ‘ _Not all of them come true.’_ She reminded him; hearing nothing back in reply. Although, every other one had come true. What would make this one any different?

           With a grim sigh, she wandered over to the refresher. Perhaps a nice warm shower would do the trick in helping her forget the fact that the guy she really, really liked was probably going to kill her someday.  

 

* * *

 

           

            Her vision didn’t help Kylo Ren feel any better about basically anything in that moment as he sat in his sleeping quarters. He had that looming feeling of all the ways this could go horribly wrong. Perhaps Phasma had been right; Hux and Phasma were just collateral. If they died in this ultimate chaos; that would be almost expected. They all silently knew that death was an option for all of them. At first, Ashlyn was the same, however unsuspecting of that prospect. Her death was also collateral. Now? Kylo Ren had a weakness.

            If she died in the sights of battle, he’d probably never forgive himself. Kylo Ren had done a lot of things he wasn’t exactly proud of, but he accepted them as gracefully as anyone with a dark past. Ashlyn dying due to causes either directly or indirectly by him… he wasn’t ready for that. The only thing he could do was keep preparing the red haired girl for the worst. An inevitable end that was probable and now glaring down at them thanks to one little Force Vision. It was a warning. He knew that. A warning he wished he didn’t need.

           Today was a little different for the Force User. He was needed in a rather large debriefing over a proposal from the Finalizer inside collateral team, something he typically didn’t want to deal with. However, Ashlyn would be with him for this one. She’d be gaining some insight on the overall plan and he knew she’d have a million questions to follow. He could only hope she’d continue to blindly trust him until the time came.

           Perhaps Phasma had been right, maybe he had gone too far by falling in love with the girl. It compromised everything, the stakes were higher. Maybe there was still a glimmer of hope that everything could work out in the end. Kylo Ren wasn’t exactly an optimist and it showed in that moment.

* * *

 

            There was nothing to do on the Finalizer that wouldn’t be considered not “getting into trouble” according to Kylo Ren’s standards. So, Ashlyn was forced to stay in her new apartment, waiting for something to do. She hadn’t seen Kylo Ren since their little meeting in Phasma’s apartment at this point; she knew he was busy and she understood he was needed elsewhere. That didn’t mean she couldn’t miss his stupid, charming face.

             Her quiet second day involved cleaning, reading the large book on planets, and playing with her datapad. She missed StarKiller, something she never thought she’d ever say. Surely, most of that feeling was due to the inhabitants of that base. Perhaps, it was time to check in?

            Ash boredly looked at her datapad before typing a quick message to the maintenance team. ‘ _Miss you guys!’_ The message said as she stared at it’s delivery for a few moments before being flooded with messages back.

          ‘ _ASH! COME HOME! EVERYTHING IS ON FIRE!’ - Grim_

_‘HE’S KIDDING. BY THE STARS, HE’S KIDDING, DON’T FREAK OUT!’ - Taka_

          Ash laughed at the messages as the two went back and forth before ultimately replying to them. ‘ _How is the base **really** doing?’_

        ‘ _Twins are checking into a minor malfunction in the oscillator, shouldn’t be a big deal though. Everything is going smoothly.’ - Taka_

         Ash replied. ‘ _That’s good to hear.’_ She typed out. ‘ _And the refracted rays? Have you guys worked on the calibration yet?’_

            ‘ _Geez, she goes away for a week and thinks we did nothing the entire time!’ - Grim_

_‘Don’t listen to him! The calibration was tested earlier in the week; readings look strong and have been steady. We’ll await your final check before getting ready for any testing. How’s the Finalizer?’ - Taka_

‘ _Awful.’_ Ash replied. ‘ _Everyone is so dull. Except the other maintenance team, I really like them. Hopefully we can reconnect with them soon.’_

            ‘ _Oh no, she likes them better than us, Taka! It’s too late, she’s never coming home now.’_ - _Grim_

_‘I could never’_ Ash smiled fondly as she sent that message.

‘ _Well hurry up, Ash. We all really do miss you ;)’ - Taka_

            Ash ignored the winky face that Taka had sent back, her attempts to avoid his flirting were proving to be more of a hassle than she wanted to think about. If only he knew about her relationship with Kylo Ren, he’d probably quit and leave the base as fast as possible.

            At least things were going well at home. That was all she could really ask for. StarKiller was nearing completion and she’d be back to the safety of the base soon. Ash mentally laughed. ‘StarKiller’ and ‘safety’ were not two words she would have ever thought to put together.

            The door to her quarters slid open, and not by the mechanism but by a forceful push as the man in black came storming in. The door sliding quickly behind him as he came further into the room. Ash frowned at him, well, at his mask. She couldn’t actually see his face. “You really don’t know how to knock, do you?” Even with the sarcastic remark, she couldn’t hide her excitement at seeing him for the first time since their arrival.

            “I have to keep my authority in check.” His distorted voice reminded her. “That also means entering rooms whenever I want.” Without her having to ask, he removed his helmet and walked over to her, sitting on the bed next to her. Kylo placed his helmet on the other side of him as he looked at her. “We have a meeting today.” He was tense, and while it didn’t show outwardly, Ash could feel it.

            Ash put her datapad on the small corner table next to her bed. “I figured. You wouldn’t be here otherwise.” She cautiously spoke again, choosing her words carefully. “You seem stressed.”

            He was. He had a number of things to be concerned about. From the overall plan to overthrow Snoke to not being able to keep Ashlyn safe. It was a weight on him, one he’d bare without showing the struggle. “Would you hold it against me if I said I missed sleeping next to you last night.” Kylo admitted, pushing the focus to anything outside of the overhaul.

            Ash beamed as she nudged him with her elbow. “You must really like me.”

He smirked. “No, I’m simply used to having the extra warmth when you sleep on top of me.”

            Ash laughed, of course he’d bring up her awkward sleeping positions. “Fair enough.” She said before returning to business. “Isn’t is suspicious for you to be here?”

            Ren gave her a knowing look. “I’m the Commander, I **_dare_** them to say something.”

Ash chuckled at his defiance. “Well then, Commander. How much time do we have before this meeting?”

            “We have time.” He informed her. “I told you I’d make time for you.”

“Oh good, so we have time to make out then?” She asked teasingly, hoping to throw him off guard and bring a smile to his face.

            Kylo Ren’s face turned to a look of unexpected shock before the sudden wholehearted laughter kicked in. It worked. “Plenty of time.” He said, leaning over and pushing Ashlyn backwards onto the bed, she let out a surprised laugh as Kylo Ren lied down partially on top of her. He looked down at her, hesitating for a moment to really take her in. Her smile, her laugh, the way her eyes lit up when she saw him. Everything outside of this war he was creating was perfect. If only it could be that way forever. He didn’t hold back anymore as he leaned down, capturing her lips with his and kissing her feverently. It had only been a day and he missed her more than anything.

            She felt it too as she kissed him back. Everything was right in the galaxy when they were together. Nothing could change the way she felt about him. Sure, he had done some awful things… things she knew about and things she didn’t. Yet, there was something inside him. Something only Ashlyn could feel, perhaps it was because of their bond or some other reason she didn’t understand. She felt it. There was light. While Kylo Ren didn’t want to admit it and would do anything in his power to smother the light; it was there. It was enough to give her that glimmer of hope that he wasn’t the monster he made himself out to be.

            Kylo Ren reluctantly pulled away first, his lips barely hovering over hers. Immediate regret washed over him; was all of this worth sacrificing? Was losing Ashlyn worth everything he worked so hard to build? What if they ran and left the galaxy and its stupid war behind and didn’t look back? Her voice soft. “What is it?” She asked, bringing him out of it.

            He was panicking a little more than he had realized. He forced a false yet still deviant smirk to his lips. “Nothing.” He assured her, thinking of a lie he could create to get himself out of his troubling thoughts. “I’m just wondering how much time we still have if I take you now.”

            Ash chuckled at his crass suggestion. “Aren’t you the one in charge?” She asked him. “Don’t you make the rules?”

            Kylo Ren’s grin grew. “You’re right, I do.” He kissed her again, a kiss that held a promise of something mischievous. “And my new rule is for us to get rid of stress in any way I see fit.”

            Ash leaned up and pecked his lips. “Then you should implement your new rule, Commander.”

 

He didn’t need to be told twice.

 

* * *

           

 

            The two arrived to the debriefing meeting later than expected. However, the only one who dared to glare at them was Captain Phasma as Kylo Ren found his seat towards the head of the table. Ashlyn, however, was fortunate enough to sit next to the glaring Captain Phasma. Phasma quickly typed a message on her datapad and motioned to the girl next to her to read it. ‘ _Rough morning?’_

            Ash blushed furiously as she quickly typed sank in her chair. Before she could explain herself or even try to come up with an excuse, Lieutenant Damar began speaking. “Now that the Commander has finished his early morning training with his newly acquired apprentice--” He began. ‘ _If only he knew…’_ Ashlyn heard echo in her mind; between Phasma and Ren, they weren’t helping the blushing situation. “We can begin our debriefing.” A large map appeared in the center of the conference table, it held different charted planets and constellations that Ash was unfamiliar with. “We have managed to complete the maps of the old Empire archives in its entirety except for one missing piece.” Damar was pleased with himself, it showed in his smugness.

             At this point, Ash wished one of the Force gifts were to see through objects, like masks. She’d give anything to get some sort of answer from Kylo Ren’s expression, his mask his everything. Perhaps it would give away the importance of having this map at all.

            Phasma knew what this meant, however. The only missing piece was the piece they were searching for. The piece that safely held the location of Luke Skywalker. The beginning point of their overhaul. While Phasma didn’t truly understand the importance of finding Skywalker, she trusted Ren knew exactly what he was doing. He always did. Kylo Ren had a way of being one step ahead, and while the latest news was a minor setback, she had a feeling Ren was prepared for that.

           He was. In fact, Kylo Ren was almost **_hoping_** they’d finish the restoration of the archives. This would give Snoke a reason to believe their mission to find Skywalker was still in the hands of the First Order and not in Kylo Ren’s personal agenda. He had to keep Snoke believing he always had the upper hand. Now, the tricky part came. Once he found the other piece to the map, he’d need to go. That was also where he needed Ashlyn. Another Force User was detrimental when confronting Skywalker. He didn’t expect a fight, but he needed to be prepared. There was also so much more to be done and only a Force User like himself could handle it. He’d have to let Ashlyn in on a few details soon.

            “We are almost certain that we have narrowed down the planets to Resistance bases as well.” Damar continued, the map zooming in on a few Outer Rim sectors. “They’ve chosen to lay low, but we have the power and means to find the Resistance scum and end them.”

            “No.” The distorted voice was firm and powerful; the room growing eerily quiet after he spoke. “We focus on the Republic first.” Kylo Ren commanded. “Without the Republic, the Resistance has nothing.”

            Damar frowned. “With all do respect, Commander. I believe--”

Kylo Ren stood from his chair now, the overall vibe in the room turning toxic as everyone awaited the ultimate demise of Damar. “We focus on the Republic.” He restated; his voice like venom as he spoke.

            Damar faltered then, backing down as he forced an unconvinced smile. “You are the Commander.”

            “And you will do well to not forget that.” Ren spat, sitting back down with purpose.

Damar cleared his throat and began to talk about the logistics of their newly acquired archive and the overall plan.

            Ash kept her focus on the hologram in the center of the table, or at least, made it look that way. ‘ _You really enjoy making people squirm.’_

            ‘ _Power is everything.’_ He reminded her. ‘ _Intimidation is the best way to harness that power. No one questions you. Now pay attention, this concerns you too.’_

She listened again, hearing Damar bring up StarKiller and the weapon. “Once StarKiller is ready, nothing will be able to stand in our way. This weapon will be the ultimate decider in who controls the galaxy.”

            Ash didn’t really care for that, Kylo Ren had figured as much when she frowned. He knew StarKiller was a red herring. While useful, it was simply a distraction. A tool to help them change the course of this war and ultimately give them the advantage. Well, give Kylo Ren an advantage. Ashlyn, however, was told by General Hux that StarKiller was for defense only. It was the only way to help her sleep at night. Now hearing what she ultimately believed in the first place; Ashlyn Novafall was a very unhappy Force User.

* * *

  


           After listening for two hours about the archives and the ultimate expanse of the First Order, Ash felt like her brain was going to melt. She didn’t sign up for all this political jargon. She wanted to fix things and train in the Force. That was it. Yet more and more, Ashlyn was beginning to learn the truth about the First Order and was growing further and further from the path she had set out on. Her place in all this was still undetermined.

            Each minute on the Finalizer was growing more and more frustrating. It was like everyone knew a piece of the puzzle, or rather they knew a heck of a lot more than Ashlyn did. She wanted something, **_anything_**. A typical case of ‘be careful what you wish for’ in every sense. Especially when Kylo Ren stormed into her sleeping quarters again.

           The two saying nothing until the door shut behind him; his mask was off in mere seconds of the door clicking and he was on the couch next to her in less time. “To what do I owe the honor of another visit, Commander? People are going to start thinking you’re picking favorites.”

           “I don’t have favorites. I hate everyone equally.” He said dryly before getting into business talk. Ash wished he wouldn’t. “We don’t have much time before the next meeting.” He said, giving a little knowing smirk. “How do you enjoy being _in the know_?”

          Ash scoffed. “I don’t.” That was obvious. “But not because I don’t want to know anything. It just seems like everyone knows something but not the whole picture. Everyone but you.”

            “It’s better that way.” Kylo Ren admitted.

“Not when you’re trying to play the game with them.” Ash said. “Everyone is a pawn to you, I’d like to at least know where I am on the game board.”

            Kylo rolled his eyes. “You’re not a pawn, exactly.” Ash frowned at his wording. “You’re very important to me in many ways. I can’t tell you exactly what is happening, but I can tell you this. You can’t just be Ashlyn Novafall anymore, there is a bigger part for you to play.”

            She wasn’t a fan of that statement by any means. It’s all she had, it was her mantra that she always went back to. She was simply Ashlyn Novafall, nothing else. Now, she was going to be something much bigger with Kylo Ren’s guidance. “I’m not a piece you can constantly control, Ren.”

             “I don’t plan on controlling you.” He said truthfully. “I need you by my side. When the time comes, you will be the only one I can trust.”

            Ash let his words sink in for a moment. He trusted her. In some sense, he did trust her. That was enough for her to make the decision. “And I will be. Just don’t keep me in the dark for long.”

            Kylo Ren decided then to give Ashlyn a little piece of the puzzle to hold. A piece of her own that didn’t give too much but also gave her a secret to protect. A purpose. “A piece of the map is missing.” Ash knew that from looking at the giant hologram from earlier. “That piece is important to the First Order, but not many know why.”

            “And you do?”

He made a face. “Let me finish, oh-impatient-one.” Ash playfully smacked his arm; unable to hide the smile that was forming on her lips. “It’s a map to Luke Skywalker.” Ash seemed unphased by the significance of it all. Then again, she didn’t really know who Luke Skywalker was other than something about a rebellion and bringing down the Empire. Kylo sighed in frustration at the blank reaction on her face. “Are we going to need a history lesson too?”

            Ash laughed nervously. “We might.”

“Once the map is in my possession, you and I are going to need to find him.” Kylo Ren explained. “That’s about as much as I can give you as I’ve already said too much.”

            “Why are you so afraid to tell me anything?”

“It’s not you.” Kylo began. “The Supreme Leader is a strong Force User. I can counter his attempts to read into my thoughts, anyone else is at risk.”

            It suddenly made sense to Ashlyn. “That’s why no one knows anything, if they know too much then Snoke might find out.”

            “Precisely.” Kylo looked away from Ashlyn then and down to his helmet. “I trust that you’ve grown strong enough to keep him out, but I need to be smart about it until we can prove that.”

            “There really is going to be an overhaul of power, isn’t there?” His silence was all the confirmation she needed as she gently placed her hand on his thigh. “I didn’t come here to fight a war.”

            Kylo rolled his eyes. “I know, I know, you’re not only grey but also freelance. You don’t take sides.”

            “Now who is being impatient?” She asked teasingly; leaning over and kissing Kylo Ren’s cheek. “I was about to say how interesting it is that even based on my beliefs, I’m willing to join you. After all we’ve been through, I’m by your side for whatever happens now.” He wasted no time in pulling her close; his lips devouring hers in an instance.

She was sincere in her words. It all came back to her earlier revelation. There was light in Kylo Ren; somewhere deep down within him, presiding over his decisions. Perhaps maybe this was all for the greater good, she had to let go of her inhibitions and blindly continue to follow him. The light was begging to come out, she was determined to help it.

 


	28. Ash Plays Her Part

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ash gets her first assignment and helps Kylo Ren and Phasma. However, shit is getting super close to hitting the fan.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi all! 
> 
> Please remember to comment, it's the only way I know if y'all hate or love this story. 
> 
> Thanks to those who have been. You rock!

* * *

 

The Finalizer was suddenly a whirlwind experience for Ashlyn. After a full day of doing almost nothing, she was expected everywhere and nowhere at the same time. While Lieutenant Damar was adamant about leaving her out of the meetings and revoking her access to certain classified information; he had a wall in his path preventing him from succeeding in his endeavours. That wall was Kylo Ren. While the two were separate for most of their time, Kylo Ren managed to keep tabs on Ashlyn just enough to know when she was being left out of certain things. He also had Phasma to help as well. The two were very busy in their planning and recon mission on the Finalizer, yet still made time to make sure Ashlyn wasn’t getting caught up in anything too destructive.

            She wasn’t. However, she did wish Damar would have won at least one of his attempts to keep her out of a meeting. She was really growing intolerable of these meetings and was soon learning quickly why Kylo hated them so much to begin with.

            That morning, she needed a caffeine fix, or something of that nature to get her through today’s overhaul of meetings. It was day four and she was losing it. Luckily, the Finalizer cafeteria had coffee. It wasn’t _good_ coffee, but it was coffee. Who was she to complain? She wandered into the cafeteria, ignoring the vibe change around her and went to the coffee maker. She grabbed a cup from the stack and began to make her coffee, two sugars and some milk. As she did, she found it easy for her mind to lock onto something quite particularly nasty…

            ‘ _Who’s that?’_ She heard someone’s rather loud thoughts come through.

‘ _Great, another Kylo Ren running around. We didn’t need more Force people.’_ Another voice chimed in.

            ‘ _She’s kinda cute. I’d tap that.’_ Ash bit her lip, placing the coffee pot back onto the burner as she slowly turned. These troopers and other personnel alike were not exactly discreet or hiding their thoughts.

            Ash began to leave, walking passed a few cafeteria tables when another voice came in. ‘ _There goes Kylo Ren’s whore.’_ Okay, that one got to her. She looked to her left, a man with a glower on his face was staring back at her. He was an officer, but not one she recognized to be too important. He wasn’t in most of their meetings. Didn’t matter as the two had a staredown. “Excuse me?” She asked.

             ‘ _Shit, can she hear me? She can’t hear me, right? It’s not like she’s anyone important, just Ren’s new slu--’_ With that, his tray of food flipped up and directly whacked him in the face. The tray landed with a thud on the ground as the now food covered man stood up. His face red from anger and embarrassment as the rest of the room grew deathly silent. “I’ll have your head for this!” He shouted angrily, his hands balling into tight fists as he came closer to her.

            Ash wasted no time, throwing her coffee down and grabbing her lightsaber; the amber blade unleashing. She stood her ground, glaring at the man as he took a step back. His anger now mixed with fear as he looked at her. Troopers stood now from their seats, no one daring to come close but ready to intervene if need be. However, no one knew how to interfere without having Kylo Ren take their heads off, especially if they shot at the girl. “You should learn some fucking manners.” Ash spat.

            “I don’t need manners for some useless _whore_!” The man dared.

Ash’s grip tightened on her lightsaber; she honestly wouldn’t know what to do if the fight turned violent. Sure, she’d win. She had a lightsaber. However, was that something she wanted to do?

            “Enough!” A booming voice called upon entering the cafeteria. The attention now focusing onto the chrome armored woman that stormed into the cafeteria and over to Ashlyn and the First Order personnel. “I suggest you apologize to the Commander’s apprentice.” Phasma said, with little emotion conveyed through her helmet. “Not that it would matter, as you know our Commander has quite the temper. Apologizing won’t save your life, but might make you leave this galaxy without having left anything said you regret.”

            The man’s glare let up just enough to show the fear he was hiding. “She started it.”

Phasma turned to him, and although no one could see her face, it was evident the kind of emotion she was harboring. “Do you **_really_** think the Commander would care who started it?” The man stuttered, trying to find words as Phasma scoffed. “Go clean yourself up and I suggest you stay out of sight for a very, **_very_** long time.” She looked back to Ashlyn. “Ms. Novafall, if you’ll please follow me.”

            Ashlyn silently followed Phasma out of the cafeteria, trying her best to keep up with the taller woman’s pace. With the new spike in adrenaline coursing through her, Ashlyn didn’t really need that coffee any longer.

            “I suppose this is a bad time to apologize?” Ash asked sheepishly.

“Not exactly.” Phasma said sharply. “We need to lay low, Ash.” She reminded her. “That means staying out of trouble.”

            Ash sighed as she groaned. “I know. He was thinking things that were so repulsive… and about me.”

“I didn’t know you could hear thoughts as well.” Phasma mused.

            Ash didn’t really care for that. Yes, she _had_ listened in on that man’s thoughts. He wasn’t exactly hiding them. Also, he was being rude! She had to defend her honor, right? “It’s a newly developed skill.” She said quickly. “Besides, Kylo would have done the same thing, but worse to  him.”

            “And you are not Kylo Ren.”

Ash’s breath caught in her chest. Wasn’t that something she was adamant in protecting? Her difference from Kylo Ren? She had respect for the privacy of others, especially when it came to something they couldn’t control. A person’s thoughts were theres, and here she was, causing problems because of a thought. Yet, what confused Ashlyn in all of this… she didn’t feel so bad for having done so. Granted, she managed to defend herself from one rude person, she did so by breaking her own rule.

             Perhaps there was a balance that Ashlyn could find. Listening in on someone’s thoughts for the benefit of the greater good. She would probably have to learn to accept that sort of thing, especially if she was needed by Kylo Ren for something far more important. “I’m not Kylo Ren.” Ash agreed with care. “I also wouldn’t have gone as far as to kill that man.”

            “Wouldn’t you?” Phasma challenged.

“No, I wouldn’t have.” She was adamant on that stance. “Maybe there is a benefit to hearing the thoughts of others. At least, while on the Finalizer. I can get a better sense of who is my enemy.” She did put her foot down on the extent of it, however. “I won’t be doing it just for amusement. Only when necessary.”

            Phasma agreed with her. “I think that’s a fine way to look at it.”

Ash changed the subject. “So where are we going now?”

            “I thought it would be beneficial if you joined in on our debriefing with the Commander before our next assembly. He’s waiting for us in my apartment.”

Ash grimaced. Phasma was annoyed at what had transpired, but how would Ren be? “Is our Commander angry?”

            Phasma held back a laugh. “I wouldn’t say that.” The two continued in silence and upon reaching Phasma’s apartment, they wandered inside. Like Phasma had said, Kylo Ren was waiting for them.

           The moment he felt the mood shift and Ashlyn hearing those thoughts, he wanted to leave the room and find whomever had been saying such things. If it weren’t for Phasma, he was certain there would have been a bloodbath. She, very wisely, suggested on retrieving the girl on her own, as well as bring her to their meeting. He wasn’t exactly happy with the latter part, however, he gave in. When he saw the food tray fly up into the aggressor’s face, he felt a little better; proud even that Ash could take care of herself.

He was lounging on the couch, a very proud and smug smirk on his face as the women entered. The door slid behind them as Phasma spoke. “I’ve brought back the troublemaker.”

            “I’d be angrier if I wasn’t so damn proud.” He chuckled. “Reading minds **_and_** flipping trays of food at people. You’re almost a real Force User.”

Phasma rolled her eyes as she removed her helmet. “Aren’t Force Users supposed to be graceful and on a higher plain than the rest of us?”

            “We can be petty too.” Ren said somewhat tauntingly as Ashlyn plopped down next to him on the couch. “Please do try and lay low for the rest of our trip, Ashlyn.”

“He started it.” She grumbled as Ren pulled her closer to his side.

            He leaned over, kissing the side of her temple endearingly. “I know, starshine.”

Phasma exhaled sharply. “My Force Users are breaking all of the rules today, it would seem. Between Ashlyn starting a food fight and now you two…”

            Ash was taken back by that comment, looking at Kylo Ren with slight confusion and concern. She had almost forgot that their relationship was still technically a secret from Phasma. “Are we not hiding this from her anymore?”

             “She’s not daft, Ashlyn. If anyone could figure out what we’re doing it’s Phasma.”

“I’m much smarter than Hux.” Phasma chimed in with a cynical remark on Hux’s intelligence. Granted, it was all in good sport. “Also Ren let it slip when we first arrived when he showed affection for you.”

            Ash looked at Phasma, smiling. “You won your bet then?”

Kylo snorted. “ ** _She_** knew about your bet too?”

            Phasma smirked. “I had to make sure I had the upper hand in order to win. I can’t let Hux take this one.”

“Poor Hux.” Ash said with a laugh. “I feel like everyone gangs up on him.”

             “You have no idea.” Kylo informed her with a devious grin before getting back to the task at hand. “There is a reason we asked you to join this meeting. Hopefully, you can help us plan our next move; we need a copy of the archives. There’s information within them that is relevant to our cause. However--”

            “We can’t just ask for it, can we?” Ash asked.

“Precisely.” Kylo Ren confirmed. “If we do, our research will be tracked. We can’t access it through the main computer without risking unwanted attention. We need to bypass the tracking system in the computer and take the files.”

            Phasma scoffed. “And how do you plan to do that? We cannot simply bypass their security system.”

            “Not unless the entire system was rebooting.” Ash chimed in, realizing she knew more about this than she wanted. “If we kickstart a reboot on the main security firewalls, it will take about five minutes to get back up when turned back on. It happened on StarKiller, Sid and I reset the system when the heating failed. We can download it during that time, assuming we can get it done in five minute.”

            Kylo Ren had a smug expression on his face that Ash could only describe as a look of _winning_ a game where every pawn on the board was his now. He told Phasma that Ash could do it; the impressed expression on Phasma’s face only confirmed that any of this was now possible. “How fast can you get this done?”

            “You assume I’ll just do this without asking.” Ash frowned. “Besides, don’t we have a meeting?”

“Not if the head of maintenance had to be called away due to an unknown security downtime.” Phasma added. “It could work.”

            “It **_will_** work.” Kylo reassured her, looking at Ashlyn as she calculated her steps to get this operation underway. This time, he tried asking instead of demanding. “Will you do it?”

            Now, it was Ashlyn’s turn to get an upperhand. “On the condition that I get another piece to this puzzle.” While Phasma didn’t know what Ashlyn meant, Kylo did. His expression a mix of pride and annoyance at being bested even for a small instance was hard to hide.

            “After you successfully get the files.” He said sternly.

Ash shrugged, it wouldn’t be too difficult a task. “Where am I uploading the files to?”

            Kylo nodded to Phasma as she went to her suitcase, rummaging through a hidden compartment and grabbing a small drive. She handed the drive to Ashlyn, it was the perfect size to hide in her pocket. “Keep it with you until we leave. This will be our last meeting before we head back to StarKiller. We must lay low once we retrieve this information.”

            “You got it, Captain.” Ash said, stuffing the drive into her pocket. “Are we going home early?”

“You and Ren are, I have a few things to tend to here still.” Phasma explained.

             Relief washed over her as she looked at Kylo. He said nothing as he removed himself from the couch, grabbing his helmet again.

“We need to go. You know what to do?” He asked Ashlyn. She stood up now, looking at Phasma then back to Kylo Ren confidently.

            “Once I shut down the security system, I can get into the main computer room and get the info. Shouldn’t be a problem.” Ash confirmed, smiling with some confidence as she did.

            The corner of Ren’s lips tugged upward slightly, just enough to resemble a smile and yet still hold a smirk in there somehow as he leaned forward, kissing her forehead. “We’ll be out of here soon, starshine.” He reassured her.

            Phasma groaned. “Enough of that, you two. We have a meeting to attend.” Ren’s smirk grew as he placed his helmet over his head, locking it in place.

            Ashlyn had her first assignment, while ultimately she wanted to stay a neutral party throughout her stay on StarKiller, she couldn’t deny the excitement building up inside her small frame.

 

* * *

 

            Ash had gone on her own; Kylo Ren and Captain Phasma disappeared towards the debriefing room. Ash made her way to the main circuit room, using her datapad to find her way. She tried to make herself look busy and important, lest to arouse suspicion from the inhabitants on the Finalizer.

            Getting to the main circuit room wasn’t difficult at all, minus the few times she had to turn around and try not to look lost. She had to stay under the radar, if anyone saw her enter the circuit room then the mission could be compromised.

            Upon reaching the door, Ash kept a watchful eye on the hallways, waiting for the most opportune moments when the traffic cleared. Once it had, she ducked into the room and stared at one of the largest consoles she had ever seen. Granted, it was multiple units compiled in one room. Unlike StarKiller that had separate locations for these sort of things. This was an entire room dedicated to it. She’d have to stare in awe another time, right now, she had work to do.

            Ash rushed over to one component system, skimming through it for the right wiring. “Compressors, air locks, air conditioning.” She mumbled, rushing to the next component. “Computer main frame.” She read. “This is it.” She followed the components down, finding the one she needed. All she had to do was unhook it. Simple as that. With a swift flick of the wrist, Ash unplugged the security check system and quickly made her way to the door. She didn’t have much time before someone noticed the system failing.

            She paused, inhaling deeply as she brought her focus into check to sense any unwanted visitors on the other side of the door. Satisfied with the answer, she opened the door and left the room and towards the main computer room.

            Her heart raced in her chest as she turned down corridor after corridor, avoiding the gazes of anyone passing by. She was focused, her mission important, she wouldn’t fail Ren and Phasma. “Ms. Novafall.” An authoritative voice said from behind her.

            Ash’s expression dropped as she stopped walking, turning quickly to see who had addressed her. “Lieutenant Damar.” She greeted as pleasantly as she could while a sinking feeling took over. “What can I help you with?”

            He eyed the girl suspiciously, looking her up and down before answering. “You know, it’s funny to me. The Commander has fought so hard to get you into all our meetings and yet you choose not to go.” He pointed out. “Now while I am a paranoid superior on a rather large, ship floating in the galaxy. That intuition has kept me alive this long.”

            _I’m done for_. She thought, trying to work up some excuse in her mind to throw him off the scent. Or rather, at least get him to go away. “I’m also here to work, not just attend meetings.” She tried.

            Skepticism washed over his face quickly. “I found that very hard to believe. I have it on good authority that you are up to something. From harassing one of my crew members to little meetings with the Commander and the Captain.”

            Ash interrupted him. “ ** _He_** started it.” She bit her tongue, immediately. Fighting back was not the best idea. “Lieutenant, you comment on my absence from the meeting. Yet, here you are as well.”

            Damar stepped closer; **_dangerously_** closer as he backed Ashlyn against the wall. Her back as flat as possible as she tried to keep some distance, he wouldn’t allow that. “You think you’re clever. You think you’re safe because of the Commander. I assure you, Ms. Novafall--” Her name was like venom on his tongue. “You will never be safe.”

            Ash’s jaw clenched, she knew she couldn’t hurt him. If she did, that would only raise suspicion. “Back off.” She warned, her tone more of a threat than anything.

Damar’s lips twisted into a smug and almost sickly amused smirk. “I know you’re up to something. The closer you are to the Commander, the more likely you’re just as much of a piece to his sick little game. He may be getting away with it, but you won’t. We’ll see what happens when your use is gone.” Damar threatened. “Once he’s done, you’re mine.”

            Neither one moved; their glares boring into one another as they stared intensely. Ash was running out of time, someone was sure to have figured out the security was out. If they were smart, they would know how to fix it.

            By the grace of the Force, Ash caught a break as someone cleared their throat. “Lieutenant.” The turn sharply turned their heads to see the nervous expression on Arc’s face. “I’m sorry to bother you, we’re having some issues on the ship and I need Ms. Novafall’s expertise.”

            “Not now.” Damar growled.

“It’s a severe problem, Lieutenant.” Arc insisted.

            Damar exhaled sharply, looking back at Ashlyn before backing away from her. “Looks like you’re needed, Ms. Novafall.”

Ash said nothing as she quickly removed herself from the scenario and followed Arc down the hallway, leaving a fuming Damar to his own devices as he went to the meeting.

            “What was that about?” Arc asked with concern.

Ash shook her head. “I tend to get into all sorts of trouble.” She tried to brush it off. “What’s the problem?”

            “Our security is down on all computers.” Arc explained. “I’m not sure what’s wrong.”

Ash was in the home stretch as she offered as much of a warm smile as she could. “Take me to the main computer room, let’s see what’s going on?”

            Arc nodded, smiling now. “I knew I could count on you. C’mon, it’s this way.” He said, leading the head of maintenance to the main computer room.

* * *

  


            “You didn’t tell her why you’re leaving early.” Phasma said quietly as the two stood off in the distance; the meeting on hold as they awaited for Lieutenant Damar.

“Neither did you.” Ren said absent mindedly. He was holding back as many emotions as possible then, sensing what Damar had been doing to Ashlyn. He knew he was at a loss; if Kylo ran to her aid, then they’d look suspicious. He could only hope Ashlyn could handle it herself. She had.

            Phasma kept her eyes on all personnel in the room; she multi-tasked by listening in on their conversations, checking the exists, and making sure no one was listening to them. “Hux sounded distressed over it.”

            Kylo scoffed. “Wouldn’t you? Snoke demanded we bring Ashlyn before him the moment we return. She’s already heavily focused in the current objective. I didn’t want her to worry about anything more.”

            “Me either.” Phasma agreed. “Has she gotten to the room?”

Kylo simply shook his head just as the door opened revealing a **_very_** agitated Lieutenant Damar. “I’m going to kill him.” Ren said under his breath. Phasma didn’t bother asking why, she had a pretty good idea that Damar would be the cause of most of their trouble on base. It didn’t matter, they had a schedule to keep. Everything was up to Ashlyn now.

 

* * *

 

            “See? It’s offline.” Arc said, pointing to the large holo screen before them. “It shut down without any warning.”

            Ash began typing away, pulling up a few things to cover her own ass as she pretending to try and figure things out. After a few screens pulled up, she nodded in understanding. “It looks like something came unplugged. Perhaps it’s a little loose or someone knocked it out.” She looked at him, offering a sweet smile. “Mind going to plug it in for me? I’ll keep trying to pull up the system.”

            Arc nodded. “You got it.” With that, he left Ashlyn alone. The moment the door slid shut, she quickly grabbed the drive and plugged it into the computer. She knew she didn’t have much time, five minutes once Arc plugged in the system. Realistically, she had less time than that. She needed to get it done before Arc returned.

            Ash got to work; sorting through file after file until she found the rather large archives. With a deep breath, she began to extract the files. The progress bar pulling up on screen; the line moving at what felt like a snail’s pace as she stared at it. She began to feel sweat start to pool on her forehead as her nerves built up in her stomach. The progress bar wasn’t moving fast enough, Arc would be back soon. Hell, anyone could walk in at any moment.

            She turned to the door, raising her hand and concentrating. She held the door in place, knowing no one would be able to open it until she let it or lost focus. Preferably the former. Her eyes glancing back to the screen every so often as the progress bar climbed.

            ‘ _76%’_ She thought, knowing Kylo Ren would hear it. It was so close; she was almost in the home stretch. ‘ _83%’_ It was climbing now, higher and higher. The progress moving faster and faster. Then… there was a knock at the door.

            “Ash!” She heard from the outside. It was Arc. “The door is stuck!”

Ash’s arm began to shake as she held it. “Is it?” She called back, trying to play dumb.

            “Maybe the reboot is to blame?”

Her arm shaking more as she focused harder. “Maybe!”

            “I’ll try forcing the panel!” Arc offered.

Ash’s eyes went wide. “No need! It should be up soon!”

            Arc laughed. “Nonsense! I want to learn from the best, it’s probably better I’m in there anyway.”

            Ash looked at the screen again. ‘ _98% It’s so fucking close’_ She could hear Arc playing around with the panel outside the door in an attempt to get it open. The moment she saw the 100, Ash quickly grabbed for the drive, closing out the file folder and releasing the door. The door opened immediately, revealing a confused Arc whom was holding the panel.

            “Oh… hey.” Arc said, looking at the panel. “Guess you were right.”

Ash let out an airy laugh as she shoved the drive in her pocket. “You said I’m the best, right? It’s for a reason.” She teased as she turned back to the holo screen. She began pulling up the security system, the system almost fully back up. “Almost done.”

            Arc put the panel back before heading into the room to rejoin Ashlyn. He looked at the screen to confirm that the system was almost back. “Makes sense you’re the head of maintenance.” He laughed. “How did you know it was unplugged?”

            Ash shrugged. “Happened on StarKiller once.” That wasn’t a lie. The two stood there awkwardly, watching the system reboot fully. Arc made small talk, realizing pretty quickly that Ash wasn’t really in the mood for it. Her answers short and to the point, she was relaxing but still tense from the possibility of being caught. She did what she had to do; yet, there was something else. Ash found a rush of adrenaline; the excitement left her wanting more. She was ready for more.

 

Little did she know then, she would be in a world of trouble soon enough as the Supreme Leader awaited her arrival back to StarKiller.

 


	29. Snoke

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ash goes before Snoke. Things get intense.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> PLEASE READ!: Hello friends, it's me again. Your always updating author. (Sorry, not sorry?) Tomorrow, The Last Jedi comes out and I'm both excited and nervous as I haven't literally seen or read anything on it. I want to go in spoiler free. That's where I'm going with this, I'm sure y'all want to be spoiler free too. Good news! This story isn't anywhere near TLJ in regards to events, also I don't know what I'll be using and not using from it. My point is, we have a lot of time before we get there so I won't be spoiling for you guys. If and when we do, I'll let you know! (Although, if you're reading the story... you'll probably get when that's coming up)
> 
> This leads to the bad part, I'll probably disappear for a bit while I tweak the next few chapters to make it awesome for you guys. While I'm gone, mind leaving a nice review? Maybe?

* * *

 

Ash lied awake that night; staring up at the smooth, grey ceiling of her finalizer apartment. The gentle hum of the ship’s engines weren’t the least bit comforting. They weren’t _her_ engines. This wasn’t StarKiller. This wasn’t the place she had come to know and feel safe in. There it was again; that word. “Safe”. Did she really feel safe or was it rather just a sense of being comfortable, knowing she had Kylo Ren by her side. How safe was she really in the long run?

            Ash had completed her mission; get the data and get out. A simple mission that nearly got her caught, but she had done it. In her mission, she felt it. She felt a tug on her mental state; something calling to her and pulling and gnawing at her insides. She channeled something she had never done before. Ash channeled the dark side of the Force. It hadn’t really registered with her until she held the door shut from Arc. She was afraid of getting caught; she felt a sense of power and need when the job was done and Arc came in. She channeled the dark side and that scared her.

            Kylo Ren had mentioned on their training retreat that being a grey Force User was difficult in many ways. One being the constant pull to find an allegiance to one side. She was like a weight drifting in the middle of space; floating and existing until a nearby planet’s gravity would pull her in. Those planets were the light and dark.

            Then there was the other problem of being grey; the influence she had on others. It was easy when having no allegiance to pull someone else who was established to light or dark to the opposite side. And thus the balance was born, a constant pressure on Ash that she was so easily manipulated to one side yet also had the power to manipulate others as well. Grey users were never balanced, they were just a tipping point in that scale. An enigma in the order of things, and Ash was slowly realizing that more and more.

            Ashlyn knew the more she was with Kylo Ren, the more likely she would end up dipping into the dark side. If she was going to bring out the light that resided in him, she was going to have to use all her energy and pull herself with him to that side. For now, she’d allow herself to feel helpless as she continued to lie in her bed; wide awake and waiting for whatever was going to happen to her.

 

* * *

 

            In any other circumstance, Kylo Ren would have been ecstatic to be leaving the Finalizer and getting Ash away from Damar. That slimeball was asking for it. Granted, Ren knew he couldn’t kill him… **_yet._** The overhaul was coming and when it did, he had a few names on list that he’d so gladly take down. Damar may have been at the top of that list, especially after the way he spoke to Ashlyn.

            Kylo Ren wasn’t feeling the ecstasy of leaving the Finalizer, not after the message he received from Hux. Snoke was demanding to meet Ashlyn, it was now infringing on Hux and his current position. Hux was almost begging at that point to Kylo Ren. Something had happened in his absence from StarKiller, something Hux wouldn’t admit. He didn’t have it, he saw it in the man’s eyes.

            He’d agree to the terms then, bring Ashlyn before Snoke and pray that things would go over well. They had pushed the meeting off as long as humanly possible. Now, they were out of time. Ashlyn had to be ready, Snoke wouldn’t go easy on her. If one little thing slipped between the cracks; everything would fall apart. He couldn’t even begin to imagine what would happen to Ashlyn then.

            Their fate was in her hands now and while they were all hopeful that Ashlyn could do it, they also had that blaring doubt that kept popping up every so often.

            Kylo Ren would do his best to help her, he knew it would be a serious drain on his mental strain if he attempted to keep Snoke out of **_both_** of their minds. It would be worth it. He knew that.

           Phasma had warned him about this. She offered him a way out; send Ashlyn away now before it’s too late. Phasma seemed to have an understanding about all this that even Kylo Ren couldn’t see. She knew if Ash was killed in the process, Ren would sink even deeper than he already had to the dark side. She was looking out for both of them. Even though Kylo Ren dismissed her advice, they both held that grim outlook of the ‘what if’s’ and the undeniable shake up that would happen if Snoke killed Ashlyn right then and there. Kylo Ren wouldn’t be able to react to it, he’d have to simply watch her die. While Kylo Ren wouldn’t admit what that would do to him, both Phasma and Hux knew. It jeopardized everything.

          His only option was to keep some glimmer of hope; it was their only chance in getting through this obstacle. He needed to believe that Ashlyn would do well in this next challenge and then they’d be back on top.

           For now, he’d silently pack during the middle of the night. He knew neither one of them would be sleeping. It was better to leave now and while the Finalizer slept; less questions he’d have to deal with. Now, it was time to let the red haired girl in on the next secret.

* * *

  


          Ash yawned tiredly, looking at the man in black that was standing in the middle of her room as she finished packing. He had arrived in the dead of night to collect her. While exhausted, she didn’t mind getting of the Finalizer sooner rather than later. “I assume you’ll fill me in on why we’re leaving so abruptly.”

         “I do owe you a piece to the puzzle.” He reminded her. She smiled at his words; _that_ smile. The smile he’d kill for just to see it. He watched as she collected her belongings. Her hair a mess, her clothes all disheveled. Even now she was the most beautiful thing he had ever seen. He missed touching her, being even in the same room as her. He missed it all. It had only been five days and by the stars, he longed for her to be by his side again. A dangerous notion, but one he couldn’t deny.

             She could feel the tension coming from him. While she continued to blindly trust him, she knew something was going on. Something that he would hopefully tell her. Without really thinking about it too much, she placed her bag down and walked over to him. Her arms wrapped around his waist as her head rested on his chest. The two finding peace the moment his arms wrapped around her. “I hate this place.” She said quietly.

            “Me too.”

“I also can’t wait to get a good night’s sleep again.” Ash admitted. “These engines are so awful compared to StarKiller.”

            He smirked. “Only you would find a problem in the mechanics of the ship, and not the inhabitants.”

 Ash pulled back just enough to look up at him. “Oh no, they’re just as awful. Minus the maintenance team. Perhaps everyone should take note from how awesome they are.”

            “Of course, starshine.” He said, leaning down to kiss her forehead. “Let’s get you back to your merry band of misfits.”

            Ash was beaming now, unable to hide the excitement of heading back to StarKiller and to her team. “Yes please.” Reluctantly, the two broke their embrace as Ash went back to her bag and picked it up. She slung it over her shoulder without too much effort. “Do we tell Phasma we’re leaving?”

            Kylo Ren quirked an amused brow. “If **_you’d_** like to wake the sleeping Captain and get yelled at, be my guest.”

Ash grimaced. “Point taken. We’ll see her soon, I assume.”

             “We will.” He confirmed. “Until then, we need to leave.” There it was again, that sense of urgency in his tone. While he thought he hid it well, Ashlyn picked up on it. She’d ask him about it once they were out of the Finalizer and on their way back to StarKiller. For now, she’d accept it with a bit of reluctance but ultimate understanding. He was doing this for a reason. That was all she could fathom in that situation as the two left the apartment and to the Launch Bay.

 

* * *

 

            “They just left.” Phasma confirmed to the hologram of the General. There were bags under her eyes, luckily for her the hologram wouldn’t pick that up. Nor could she really see the bruise on Hux’s cheek. He took the brunt of the abuse from Snoke; a necessary sacrifice on his part. One he’d fight for and do all over again if it meant protecting what they were doing.

            Hux was quiet for a moment, his lips pursed. “I don’t know what’s going to happen when they arrive.”

            Phasma let out an exasperated sigh. “We can only hope that whatever happens, it works in our favor.” Hux nodded in agreement. “Are you okay?” Phasma asked, letting a moment of weakness slip out as she asked about his wellbeing. They were in this together; committing a form of treason. Of course, she’d be concerned to some degree.

            “I’ll live.” Hux said grimly, forcing a smirk. “For now.”

“That’s not funny.” Phasma scolded him.

            “We knew what we were signing up for when Ren came to us with this.” Hux reminded her dutifully. “We accepted the consequences.”

“Ashlyn didn’t.” Phasma said. “It’s almost as if he’s afraid to let her know anything at all; like if she knew too much he’d be sending her to her execution.”

            “Not telling her anything will result in the same end.” Hux commented. “If we want Ashlyn aboard on this plan, he needs to stop protecting her. It’s ultimately going to hurt her.”

            Phasma silently agreed, before carefully explaining what she told Ren. “I told him to send her away. If he’s that concerned for her well-being. He should send her away and be done with it.”

            “We need her.” Hux reminded her.

“At what cost to him?” Phasma said sharply only to be met with silence. “He’s already so deep into the darkness. I feel that Ashlyn is the very thin line holding him back.”

            “And letting her go won’t stop it.” Hux said.

“Neither will watching her die.”

            Silence overtook the conversation once more. The two knew how complicated things were. They needed Ashlyn for a multitude of reasons, most of them involved their Commander and keeping him straight. They also knew without her in a more permanent sense, Ren could fall apart. “I will see you in a few days.” Hux said quickly and with a sense of finality. Phasma said nothing as she ended the hologram communication. In frustration, she tossed her datapad on the coffee table. That lingering bad feeling taking hold as she refused sleep that night. She couldn’t protect everyone. None of them could. It was haunting to her; that sense of failing before it had even happened. Their fate was up to Kylo Ren and Ashlyn Novafall now.

* * *

 

           

            Ash sat back in the copilot seat in the cockpit of Kylo Ren’s Upsilon. The ship had left the Finalizer and began its course back to StarKiller. Man, she was tired. However the adrenaline to be back home was keeping her awake as she looked out at the stars. The empty blackness of the galaxy, so calm and quiet. “It’s feels so good to be out of there!” She exclaimed happily. “It’s like an invisible weight of negativity lifted off my shoulders. No panicking Troopers or personnel. No one saying awful things about me. It’s great.”

            “If you’d like, I can say awful things about you.” Ren teased.

“Watch it, Commander.” Ash frowned with a smile. He chuckled as the ship began to enter hyperspace. The world around them suddenly blurring into a beautiful shade of blue as the stars passed at an exhilarating speed. It was now or never, Ashlyn needed answers. “Is it safe to ask now?” Her question more rhetorical as she asked her questions regardless. “Why are we going home so early? It’s not that I’m unhappy to be heading back. I’m excited, but why?”

            “Snoke.” Kylo Ren answered firmly, but truthfully. “He’s demanding to meet with you.”

Ash felt that sinking feeling return as she curled up in her seat. “I change my mind, let’s go back to the Finalizer.” She was only half joking.

            “I have faith in you.” Kylo said in earnest. “Keep your focus, fight him; don’t let him in. You’ll be fine.”

            Ash felt a grim sense of remorse take over her then. “Is this why everyone is on edge? I could sense it in Phasma; in you.” She said, proving her intuition once more. “The fear that I’ll fail.”

            Kylo turned to her sharply, glaring as he spoke. “You won’t fail. You’re my apprentice; you’re stronger than that.”

She met his gaze with her own unassured one. “Am I?”

            His glare softened. “You are.” He believed that. “You wouldn’t be my apprentice otherwise.”

Ash continued to feel that twinge of impending failure, whether it was radiating from Kylo Ren or her own feelings; she wasn’t sure in that moment. “What happens if I don’t?” She asked. “What happens to you; to Phasma and Hux?”

            “Don’t worry about us.” He said emotionlessly, hating the fact she had no concern for her own well being but for theirs. It was dangerous. Then again, that was what made Ashlyn thrive. Protecting others. “We will handle it.”

            Ash felt a sense of determination then, if keeping Snoke out was the only way she could keep them all safe, then she would. She’d fight with every fiber of her being, no matter what that meant for her stability. If it dragged her to the dark side, so be it. She was going to fight Snoke in a battle of minds. “When it’s over; what then?”

            He eyed her suspiciously, feeling a new wave of purpose coming from the girl next to him. “We move to the next phase.”

“The map?” Ash asked.

            “Precisely.”

“How do we find the next piece?” Ashlyn asked curiously.

            “I have a few more missions planned that should lead me to the right people.” Kylo Ren informed her. “Once we have it, you and I will find him.”

Ash pursed her lips. “Him; Luke Skywalker?” Kylo Ren confirmed with silence and some aggravation that did not go unnoticed. “He’s important, that I know. You’ve said as much. Can I know how he fits into all this?”

            Kylo Ren looked at her skeptically, yet prepared to offer her an ultimatum. “Is this the piece of the puzzle you want? I told you I’d give you something, are you sure this is it?”

            Something in her gut told her that yes it was. Skywalker was important, she knew that to some degree. However important, that was where the uncertainty lied. “Yes.”

He wished she hadn’t said ‘yes’. “Do you remember back on Maridun; my nightmare?” Ash nodded, piecing together whatever she could from the information he was giving her; knowing she’d only receive fragments of information. It was her responsibility to place them in order and get the whole story. “The Force User who opened up the Jedi Temple to train in secret and rebuild the Jedi Order?”

            “That was Luke Skywalker.” She answered him. “The First Order burned down his temple?”

            “Not exactly.” He admitted.

Ash restated her question, this time with a slight accusation. “You did.” Kylo Ren didn’t flinch; why should he? She wasn’t wrong and he had no regret over it, right? “Are we going to find him and finish the job?”

            He said once again. “Not exactly.”

Ash groaned in frustration. “Enough vague answers! What are we doing once we find Luke Skywalker?”

            Ren glared at her impatience, but ultimately answered her. “He has something we need.”

Ash scoffed. “Still vague.”

            “I’ll tell you about what we need after we meet with Snoke, deal?” He offered.

He had a point and she hated it. “Fine.” She said shortly, before releasing her anger and returning to sincerity. “But we aren’t going to kill him?”

            Kylo shrugged. “Depends on if he gets in our way.”

“I hate dealing in uncertainty. I just want a clear answer of ‘yes’ or ‘no’.”

            “Only Sith deal in absolutes, Ashlyn.” He said somewhat teasingly.

Ash frowned. “I’m not on the dark side.”

            “I know, starshine.” His term of endearment said as lovingly as possible. Without much celebration, Kylo Ren pulled them out of hyperspace. StarKiller appearing in the distance. Ash had been so eager to see it and return home. Now? She felt sick. Everything depended on this moment. “You’re going to do just fine.” He reassured her again.

            Ash absentmindedly leaned over to his seat, grabbing for his hand and holding it. Her eyes locked on the base as it came closer; her heart thudding in her chest. This was it. Yet, there was that small glimmer of hope as Kylo Ren squeezed her hand, reminding her why she was going to succeed in this. She was going to do this for them, but more importantly, for _him._

 

* * *

  
  
  


            Upon landing, General Hux was awaiting their arrival on the main Launch Bay. His hands clasped tightly behind his back; a solemn expression on his face as the ship docked gracefully. Within moments of landing, Kylo Ren stalked out of his personal ship, followed by the red haired girl. Without really realizing it, she offered a small sympathetic smile to Hux; noticing the bruise on his cheek.

            The corner of Hux’s lips fought to stay down and not contort to a smirk. “Ms. Novafall, welcome back.”

            Ash kept her smile, yet her voice held concern. “Are you okay, General?”

Hux took a quick look around, noticing no one was listening in as he avoided the conversation altogether. “We are expected elsewhere.” He looked to Ren. “Shall we?”

            With haste, the trio began their walk towards the far corners of StarKiller. A place Ashlyn had never ventured to before. On their walk, the group passed by the maintenance crew on their way to the oscillator. The group at first was shocked to see Ashlyn back so early. Their shock turning to excitement to see her, only to lose their excitement and replace it with worry as she quickly shook her head to them, signaling that now was not the time. The worried look on Taka’s face said it all as she tried to wipe that memory for her mind and concentrate as they walked passed.

            Ash began to notice less and less people populated this particular hallway, it was as if they were afraid of its existence altogether. “No one comes down here.” Ren chimed in, sensing her concern. “They have no reason to.”

            “I assume no one speaks to Snoke say for you two?” Ash asked.

“Aren’t we lucky.” Hux said dryly. The trio reaching the two large doors that lead to the cavern. Hux looked at the two Force Users, nodding. “This is it.”

            “He’s going to pry into your thoughts.” Kylo Ren explained. “Just like we practice, build the brick wall and keep it steady. No matter what happens. I’ll try and help as much as I can.”

            Ash nodded. “I can do this.” She said confidently. “We can do this.”

“Then let’s.” Hux said, the door sliding open to reveal the large black room at the end of the hall.

            The three stepped in, there was no going back now as the doors closed behind them.

 

* * *

 

            When they entered the cavern, Ash noticed the immediate change in the Force around her. The nerves that both men tried to keep at bay, the scent of death and decay. They stopped in a large circle at the center of the room. In front of her Ash noticed a large and empty throne. She was confused, where was Snoke and was he really that ginormous? That was when the massive hologram appeared.

            While his features weren’t clear, Ash could tell he was old and quite honestly; ugly. Immediately, Snoke focused on the newcomer in the room. “You” He barked. “Come closer.” His raspy voice commanding. Ashlyn obeyed, stepping forward as she stared down the giant hologram. “You are the grey Force User I’ve heard so much and yet seen so little about.” He said. “I wonder what is so special about you that they’re so concerned about keeping you away?” Ash then felt it. It was like a typhoon crashing into her. She had never felt something so unrelenting and powerful as it tried to break into her head. The worst part? He wasn’t even physically there and could do so.

            She immediately put the brick wall in place in an attempt to keep him out; there was a struggle. There was no way she could protect everything in her mind. Her past, the present, Kyo Ren… she had to give something away to Snoke. She knew what she had to protect and what she’d have to lose to protect what was important.

            It felt like Snoke’s fingers were now touching her brain directly, scraping and scratching at its surface, trying to force its way in. “You’re an orphan.” He mused darkly, pulling a piece out of her mind. “The brain rot plague.” Ashlyn knew she couldn’t keep Snoke at bay for long, but perhaps if she gave him the deepest and darkest parts of her, that would satisfy him. “Your brother drives your ambition.” Snoke chuckled. “Sentiment is useless.”

            Ash’s jaw clenched tightly, the brick wall still there as Snoke’s fist tried to penetrate it over and over again. Ash released more of what she tried to keep hidden. Anything. “You see him die; over and over again.” Ash felt tears beginning to pool in her eyes. She wasn’t sure if it was from pain or from the memory at that point. Yet, she felt hatred. Hatred for this **_thing_** in front of her. In that hatred brought out the darkness within. It showed her capability and promise if she were to ever go completely dark. “You belong to the First Order now.” He instructed her, as though he liked what he saw residing inside her. “An extension of my arm; you will do my bidding along with Commander Ren.” Ash began to feel the pressure lessen on her mind, however, she didn’t let go just yet. “Now go.”

            Snoke seemed satisfied with the power he had over Ashlyn. The power she so willingly gave him to protect everything else. The hologram disappeared almost as quickly as it came, Ashlyn felt the pressure subside completely now. She was dizzy, lightheaded and nauseous and she knew Kylo Ren couldn’t comfort her now. It was too risky.

            The three left the cavern swiftly, the moment the door closed, they realized they had won. Ash wiped the tears from her cheeks, disgusted with the sacrifice she made, but knowing why she did it.

            “You did well.” Kylo Ren praised, leaning over and kissing the side of her head and ignoring the fact that Hux was standing there was as well. It felt like their brains were almost mush, having used so much energy to block out Snoke. Both Force Users were tired, unfocused, but albeit happy to have survived.

            Kylo Ren knew what Ashlyn was doing; throwing Snoke off the scent and sacrificing what meant most to her. He appreciated it more than she could ever understand. He tried to help Ashlyn as best he could, knowing if he gave too much, Snoke could see into his own mind. It was a risk they both played, and were rewarded.

            Hux simply scoffed and rolled his eyes at the gesture, at least Ren was tolerable when he was with Ashlyn. He looked away and down the hallway; a moment where he’d take a double take. He thought he had seen someone turning back around the corner. He’d leave it to being under a lot of pressure and stress. No one came down here, they had no reason to. He was also certain Kylo Ren would have caught it; unaware that the two Force Users were out of focus and missed it entirely as well.

 

* * *

 

           Ashlyn stared at the oscillator, examining every angle with her datapad. The oscillator was the only weak point in the entirety of the StarKiller weapon. They made sure of it; it was the switch that could ultimately bring it down if needed. However, getting to it through the shields was almost near impossible. Ashlyn also hoped it never needed to get to that point.

            Her team filed in one by one, however a certain member was missing. “Hey guys.” She smiled warmly. “Taka?”

            Grim shrugged. “Haven’t seen him.”

“He said he wasn’t leaving his room today.” One of the twins chimed in. “He’s in a slump.”

            Ash sighed, this was the second day in a row that Taka decided simply to not show up. “We have work to do today, I kind-of need him.” She did, he was the second competent team member after her. She did need him. She then remembered how concerned he was at her arrival and how she simply brushed him off. Perhaps it was time to talk to Taka. “I’ll go talk to him. Start on the weak points of the oscillator and work from there.”

            “You got it, boss.” Grim said, directing the twins to their position in the large room.

Ash tightened her belt and wandered towards the maintenance hallway. It was her second full day back, surely Taka could be a little helpful. Her brain was still gelatin after her encounter with Snoke. She was relieved when Kylo Ren said they didn’t have to train the next few days either. They both needed the rest.

            Her job was done for now. She gave Hux the drive with the archive on it. There was nothing else for her to do except go back to work, which she was grateful for. Now, she was back to basics and working on StarKiller.

            Ash stopped in front of Taka’s door, gently knocking on it. The door slid opened to reveal a somewhat angry Taka. “Hey.” Ash tried. “I know the twins said you weren’t in the mood, but… I kinda need you.”

            Taka scoffed. “Need me?” Ash had never heard him take that tone before. “You sure you don’t need our Commander?”

Ash was confused and in a slight panic over that. Without really thinking it through, she searched his mind. There it was, the memory. Taka had seen them outside the cavern door. He saw Kylo Ren kissed her head; showing affection. “Taka…”

              “Are you serious, Ash?” Taka hissed. “ ** _Him?!_** ”

Ash lowered her voice. “Can I please come in so we can talk about this?”

            Taka reluctantly moved as Ashlyn entered his apartment. Once the door closed, Taka folded his arms over his chest. “Well?”

            “You weren’t supposed to know about the Commander and I.” Ash tried to explain.

“So it really is a thing?” Taka spat. “You and the Commander are hooking up behind everyone’s back?”

            Ash frowned. “It’s not like that.”

“Then what is it?” Taka was fuming, his face turning red. “How can you even be near that monster?!”

            “He is not a monster.” Ash’s tone was warning. “It would be wise for you to remember that.”

            “So he can try and kill me again?” That stung; he knew he hit a nerve as Ashlyn’s face fell. With an aggravated growl, Taka threw his hands up in annoyance. “He’s not good for you, Ash.” He said a little softer now. “There are so many other people out there who are.”

            “Like you?” She dared.

Taka swallowed hard. “Yeah. Like me.”

              Ash simply shook her head, feeling her chest tightening. “It wouldn’t work, Taka. There’s something the Commander and I have--”

“Save it.” Taka spat. “You’re smarter than this, Ash. After all the times Sid warned you.”

              “Don’t bring him into this!” Ash yelled back.

“I don’t understand it; I don’t understand _you_.” Taka said. “You could be just as happy with me, I’d never treat you wrong like he will.”

            It was then Ash realized that Taka’s intentions were always selfish. While Kylo Ren had selfish intentions as well, it never was when it came to her. She began to realize that Kylo had been right all along. “I love him, Taka.” She said quietly. “I love him and if you cared for me at all, you’d accept that.” This was the first time she admitted it out loud. The first time the words ever really left her lips and it wasn’t even to Kylo Ren. Though she wish it were; her mannerisms showed that as she sank into herself again.

            Taka let out a sigh of defeat. “I don’t want to see you get hurt.”

“You know I can take care of myself.”

            He offered a weak smile. “I know. I just wish it was anyone else but him.” The two let a few moments of silence pass as the tension in the room began to fade. “Does anyone else know?”

            Ash shook her head. “They can’t.” She gave him a look now, unsure what this meant for the two of them. Would Taka tell anyone?

“I won’t say anything.” He admitted in defeat. “I’ve already lost you to him, I don’t want to lose you for good.”

            Ash felt her chest began to loosen, the tension depleting. “Thank you.”

“Just know, if he hurts you…” The two stared at each other for a moment before Taka laughed awkwardly, Ash joined him. “Alright, I can’t do anything about it, but…”

            “I appreciate hearing it.”

“Be careful, Ash.” Taka said in all sincerity. “I’m just looking out for you.”

            “I know.” Ash admitted. “I’m sorry it had to happen like this.”

“Yeah, well.” Taka said in defeat before changing the subject. “Don’t we have a base to finish?”

            Ash offered him a warm smile. “I’d like that.”

Ashlyn Novafall had a fatal flaw in her design. That flaw was the ability to love, trust and protect those who were close to her. Yet, in doing so, being blind to their true intentions.

 

It’s in that misplaced trust where things would go horribly, horribly wrong.

 


	30. The Other Shoe Drops

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bad things were bound to happen

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was going to wait to update but... I'm just so happy with The Last Jedi and how awesome you guys are so here, have a chapter!

* * *

 

         Love is a funny emotion; it can be true and bring even the strongest of men to their knees. And sometimes it can be displaced in all the wrong ways. Love could mean a few things; intimacy, passion, connection on a spiritual level that created a form of completion between two beings. It could also be the love between friends; a respect for another person whom you can trust, confide in, and still have a connection that no one else can feel. It could also bring out the worst in others when use in a selfish sense.

          Kylo Ren and Ashlyn had an interesting relationship to say the least. They were in love in every sense, regardless if they were too stubborn to admit it out loud to one another. Sure, they constantly battled and pushed when it came to their overall power struggle. However, she was the only thing that kept his head above water. She humbled him; she brought out the selfless side that Kylo Ren didn’t know existed within him. She gave him propose, a promise and took everything that would have made him insufferable and made him better. They had a meaningful, intimate and passionate connection. Granted, the Force Bond helped make that stronger and at times unbearably extreme. That never took away from their feelings or hindered them in any way. If soulmates existed, Kylo Ren and Ashlyn could possibly break that mold.

        Taka had a displaced type of love. He was in love with the idea of Ashlyn Novafall, perhaps there was a time during her arrival on StarKiller her had truly cared or the girl. Once he realized he was losing her to Kylo Ren; a force not to be reckoned with a monster among men that had taken so much without giving anything in return, a being that held the capability of true and unfiltered power... He was envious. He always had been; from the time Ashlyn began to interact with the Commander, Taka began to grow possessive from a distance. In his mind, Ashlyn wasn’t to be shared outside of maintenance. Yet, she was becoming another thing Kylo Ren was taking away. He had to be stopped.

        Our passions and our fears tend to make people do the darnedest of things without truly thinking about the consequences. So that night, when he sent the message to the Supremacy of the compromising relationship between Kylo Ren and Ashlyn Novafall; he expected Kylo Ren to be the one to suffer. However, love; in any form, whether displaced or meaningful, blinds us to those consequences. Taka believed he’d get Ashlyn Novafall back; he couldn’t have been more wrong.

 

   

* * *

        

It had been a few days since the return of Kylo Ren and Ashlyn, the base quieting down and returning to its normal chaotic state. The only missing piece was Captain Phasma. She was still on the Finalizer; delayed in her return. A necessary sacrifice on her part. That left the other two leaders of StarKiller to meet secretly.

            “She did it.” Hux mused with an accomplished smile as he sat at his desk. A glass of Gammorian whiskey in his hand. The two leaders of StarKiller sat in Hux’s office; celebrating a little late in regards to the victory over Snoke and their transition to the next phase in the overall plan. The two also really needed a mental break; okay mostly Hux did. Kylo Ren was antsy as ever to keep moving forward. “She managed to keep him out.”

            Ren nodded, somewhat unhappy at the outcome. “At the cost of her own secrets.”

Hux took a sip. “Does it matter how she did it? She chose to protect us.”

            “I suppose not.” Kylo Ren agreed diplomatically. Granted, he’d rather the girl not suffer. Then again, they all had their own trials and struggles of suffering in this.  “When does Phasma return?”

“Damar is holding her up.” Hux said with distaste. “Because of course he is.” Kylo rolled his eyes in reply. Damar was really keen on making life so much harder. “When do you continue with the next phase?”

            “Soon.” Kylo admitted. “I plan on following as many leads as I can think of. Someone has the missing piece, I just need to figure out who.”

Hux took another sip. “It should prove to be a fruitful effort. You’re smart enough to figure it out.”

            Ren smirked. “Was that a compliment?”

Hux scoffed. “Don’t let it go to your head.” The two men chuckled; their spirits somewhat high. They were passed the hardest hurdle. Or so they had thought. Hux’s datapad began to vibrate violently. He lifted the pad and looked at the message displaying across the screen. The horror on his face as he looked back at Kylo Ren. “He wants to see you.”

            Quietly, Kylo Ren removed himself from his chair and left the room. Hux quickly chugged his glass. Perhaps a celebration was too soon.

* * *

  


            He hesitated at the door for a few moments. An overwhelming sense of fear and uncertainty taking over him as he finally fought for the courage to walk into the cavern. He made his way, trying to conceal the nerves that were forming as he stopped in the center circle. Snoke appeared not much after he arrived. “My apprentice.” He hissed. Something in his tone made him sound feral; dangerous.

            “You wished to see me, Supreme Leader.” It wasn’t a question.

Snoke began, his voice a low growl. “I’ve been informed that your apprentice has bewitched you.” Kylo Ren, though his face not showing it, his stomach sank to the bottom of his gut. “The grey Force User. She’s pulling you to the light, keeping you from your true destiny. I could sense it.”

            “Supreme Leader--”

“SILENCE!” His voice echoed and shook the room. “Even now it’s clear to me. You love this girl. The grey User who jeopardizes your training.”

            “I can end our training now. Keep her from learning more about the Force and have her return to only maintenance.”

            Snoke let out another low growl. “I believe it’s too late for that.” Kylo Ren’s body stiffened as Snoke revealed his idea. “In order to delve into the darkest part of your training; to fulfill your destiny. You must smother the light that threatens you.” Then the other shoe dropped. “I want her dead by morning.”

            “Supreme Leader…” He tried again.

“If you do not do this.” Snoke threatened, the hologram beginning to fade. “ ** _Then I will_**.”

            Kylo Ren stood in the cavern alone. It felt like he had been stabbed through the chest repeatedly. Something had changed in Snoke, something had changed his mind. Or someone…

            He had to kill Ashlyn. It didn’t matter now. Kylo Ren was going to become the monster she had dreamed he’d be.

 

* * *

 

            Hux brought the bottle of whiskey with him to the 100’s console room. Reports from Storm Troopers being afraid of what was happening in that room only told him that the meeting had not gone as planned. He entered the room, seeing the Force User slashing and hacking away at the console angrily. He was yelling and screaming as angry tears streamed down his face.

            Hux stood there, gripping the bottle tighter as Kylo Ren turned sharply to face him. Any other person, he would have killed right then and there. “We have a problem, don’t we?” Hux asked, offering the bottle of whiskey.

            Kylo Ren grabbed the bottle with his free hand and took a rather large swig. His saber the only light now in the room; illuminating the immediate area with red. Reluctantly, he handed the bottle back to Hux. “Snoke knows.” He said, Hux’s face dropped. “About Ashlyn and I.” Hux regained some composure then. “Someone had to have told. He changed his mind about her. He wouldn’t have otherwise.” Kylo Ren was agitated, unable to calm down as his chest rose and fell rapidly.

            “What does this mean then?” Hux asked, receiving no reply from Kylo Ren at first. “Ren!” He yelled, snapping Kylo Ren out of it.

            “Supreme Leader has ordered me to end it.”

Hux frowned. “End it how?” The anger was building up again within Kylo Ren. “End it how, Ren?”

            “I have to kill her by morning.”

Hux felt a wave of guilt, horror and pity wash over him. “Stars…” He whispered.

            Kylo Ren yelled again, turning and once again hacking at the console. After a few more good hits, he stopped. His shoulders rising and falling with his staggered breaths. Finally, he retracted his lightsaber. Angry tears pooled in his brown eyes and streamed down his cheeks. In all his years working with Kylo Ren, Hux had never seen him **_this_** miserable.

            Hux walked over to him, cautiously standing by his side and offering the bottle once more. “You’re going to need this more than me.” Kylo Ren didn’t take the bottle this time as he tried to calm down. “So what are you going to do?”

            “What choice have I?”

Hux shrugged. “None.” He exhaled sharply. “You have none; I’m sorry.” He was, and that only made Kylo Ren feel so much worse.

* * *

  


            Ash waited in Kylo Ren’s apartment, like she had always done since their sleeping arrangement had become permanent. She was becoming in tune once more to the Force after her draining last twenty-four hours. There was a tug at her mental state, she could feel a force of anger pushing through. Someone probably pissed off the other Force User on base. At least, that’s what she hoped. The anger had subsided and Ashlyn was beginning to relax again on his couch.

            He stormed into the apartment, stopping almost immediately as he stared at the girl on his couch. His face showing a hint of horror before quickly falling to a more serious tone. “Not expecting me?” Ash asked nervously. “I could go, if you’d like.” She offered, scrambling to get off the couch.

            “Stay.” Kylo’s voice was soft. He saw the caution on her face before fully deciding to sit down again. The red haired girl sitting unsuspectingly on her desk.

            “Everything okay?” Ash asked. “I thought I could feel your anger before.”

“I’m fine.” He said quickly, trying not to cause any suspicion as he walked over to the couch and sat down next to her. “Everything is fine.”

            Ash chose to believe him in that moment, unsure why she did, but she did. “Okay.” She said, smiling again. “It’s nice to finally be able to sit with you and not worry about hiding.” He said nothing, instead, he gently pulled Ashlyn to his side and held her there. She snuggled up next to him, enjoying the contact. “Are you sure everything is okay?”

            “It’s just been a long week.” He tried to say as convincingly as possible.

“I know.” She agreed. “I’m glad we get the night off to rest.”

            He kissed the top of her head lovingly. “Me too.” He would have to do it; he’d have to end this. He’d have to end Ashlyn. There was no way around it and he knew that. He couldn’t do the one thing he wanted and keep her safe. Morning would come quickly and Kylo Ren was running out of time. He’d milk it for what it was worth, make it last forever. How does a moment last forever? He’d try his damnedest to make it so.

* * *

 

            After a quiet night of simply existing with Kylo Ren, Ash had fallen into a blissful sleep, ignorant to what was awaiting her by the morning. Kylo Ren held her close, memorizing the way she looked while she slept. The way she felt against him. He didn’t want to do it, but what else could he do?

             He glanced down at the sleeping girl in his arms and though he had looked at her a thousand times before, it never grew tiring or mundane. Every single time he'd find at least one more thing he loved about her, one minute detail that simply caused his breath to get caught in his lungs. He'd give anything to have more sunrises and sunsets just to continue to steal those glances for the rest of his days.   
             He didn't have forever and neither did she. This wasn't a fairytale, this wasn't his parents love story; a story he had heard thousands of times and growing up he was naive enough to believe a love like that could exist. Even as he grew older and saw the shambles their marriage had become, ever so slowly fading out of existence... He still held a glimmer of hope that maybe there was some truth to all of it.   
            Now he knew. He knew and he wished he hadn't. He felt it; that blissful feeling of a counterpart. That spark that he had been told only existed for the lucky and not everyone could ever be so lucky to harness it. Even if his parents couldn't keep it and hold it tight, it existed to them in some extent.   
            He was never prepared for it to happen to him. Yet, here he was; staring down at the one thing that made him feel whole. The one constant that never faltered from pulling him out of that darkness. His biggest distraction yet ultimately missing piece that brought him together and shattered him mercilessly at the seams in an instance.   
            He had to give her up. It was the only way that any of this could work. In another time and place, there was hope that everything would be fine. Maybe that time didn't exist, not anymore, but the only time he did know was quickly fleeting and his window of opportunity to do something about it was beginning to close.   
            Then, it all came together. Kylo Ren knew what he had to do. There wasn’t much time, as he snuck out of the bed, careful to not disturb the girl. He just hoped he had the strength to do what needed to be done.

 

* * *

 

           He woke Ashlyn up very early in the morning, the sun had not even begun to creep over the horizon line. She groaned, feeling his lips kissing her cheek feverishly, traveling down her jawline and to her neck, then back up. “You need to wake up.” He said softly.

            Her eyes fluttered open, looking over at the Force User lying next to her. “Five more minutes.” She grumbled sleepily.

The corners of Kylo Ren’s lips tugged upwards into an unwilling smile as he tried once more. “I need your expertise with a ship for a mission, and we need to do it now.”

            Ash yawned. “Now?”

He nodded. “Yes, now. I need to know how good your maintenance skills are.”

            She stretched lazily. “Is that a challenge?” Her tone teasing.

“Perhaps.” He said, leaning closer again to kiss her cheek. “Get up, starshine.”

            Ash smiled sleepily, cuddling closer to the man’s warm chest as she did. “Fine, we can go.” She said. “But I expect us to come back and cuddle when we’re done.”

            His breath caught in his chest. He had to remain calm, least he’d alert the redhead next to him. He almost backed out then and there… but he couldn’t. He knew he couldn’t. Snoke demanded results from him, he couldn’t go against his demands. And that’s why this would hurt for a really long time. “Let’s go.” His tone somewhat sharp as he reluctantly pulled away from Ashlyn and got out of the bed.

            Ash rubbed her eyes, sitting up slowly as she looked around the dark room. She noticed how Kylo Ren wasted no time in getting dressed. She was slightly concerned at this sudden urgency, however, she trusted him. This was probably a bigger part of the game that Kylo Ren had created. Another mission that only she could help with. She trusted that whatever it is he needed from her, it was important and would have some sort of payoff later. So, she climbed out of bed and grabbed her jumper.

            “Bring your saber too.” Kylo said quickly.

Ash made a face, of course she’d bring her saber. She grabbed her tool belt, and made sure her saber was clipped to the side. “Alright.”

            He forced a dazzling smile as he walked over to Ashlyn, hugging her closely to his chest. A feeling he’d surely miss as he reassured her. “It’s fine, it’s nothing too crazy that we can’t get done quickly. We’ll be back here in no time.” They wouldn’t.

            Ash relaxed slightly in his arms. “So, what are we doing?”

‘We need to go to Launch Bay C.”

            She frowned. “We hardly use C.”

“I know, but the work I need you to do is there.” He said. “Let’s go.” Ash said nothing more as she followed Kylo Ren to the practically abandoned Launch Bay. Granted, it was also very early in the morning, of course no one would have been around.

            The two walked silently through StarKiller, Ash exhausted and not connecting with the tension coming off the man next to her. She mostly just wanted to go back to bed. As they arrived into the Launch Bay, Ash saw an assortment of really old ships; a small shuttle transporter that fit roughly for five stood out in the lineup. She frowned, looking at the ship as Kylo Ren lead her to it. “Ever work on one of these before?” He asked.

            “It’s an older model, the newer series had a better stabilization component.” Ash mentioned, realizing she was about to go into a whole rant about that particular model of ship. She quickly stopped herself.  “I’m sure I can figure it out.” She beamed, receiving a smirk back from Kylo Ren.

           The two walked over to the transport, the ramp coming down with a hiss as Kylo Ren motioned to the ramp. “Ladies first.” Ash wandered into the ship, giving Kylo Ren a moment to look around and make sure no one was in the immediate area. They were completely alone in the Launch Bay. He prefered it that way as he walked into the transporter, noticing Ash was already studying the console.

            “There’s an old tracking unit installed, we need this ship to end up at its destination without being traced. Can you turn it off?”

Ash scoffed. “If that’s really what was so urgent, I might kick you.”

             “I have a few other things.” He rolled his eyes at her impatience.

Ash looked at the console, noting where the tracking unit registered from. “It’s easy, these old ships were basically flip switches. This can turn off no problem and your ship won’t be followed.” She said, playing around with a few buttons before a notification appeared on the screen stating the tracking system was turned off. “Next?”

            Kylo Ren reached to his belt, pulling out a small flash drive and handing it to her. “Register these coordinates into the consoles autopilot.”

            Ash sighed, he was giving her such easy tasks that totally did not warrant waking her up this early. She plugged in the flash drive, the coordinates pulling up for a planet that was pretty far from the base. She looked at it thoughtfully, she had seen this planet before in Kylo Ren’s book of planets but couldn’t place the name. She looked back down and activated the autopilot. “Is any of this going to get challenging or are we still going to be doing the easy stuff?”

            “One last thing. Install this into the commlink. They’ll know what to do with this when the ship arrives.” He said, now handing her a holo-comm. It was a message installed onto the device, a message that was probably meant for someone more important than she could ever fathom, especially if Kylo Ren needed it done.

            She installed the holo-message, another easy task given to her. She looked at Kylo Ren once she finished, smiling. “What’s next?”

            This was it, he was running out of time. He couldn’t stop himself as his hands gently gripped either side of her face, he leaned down to kiss her. He didn’t want to do this. He had no choice, it was the only way and he knew that. Time was fleeting, it would be over soon.

             When Kylo Ren finally pulled back, Ash smiled only to have it quickly drop when she realized he had tears pooling in his eyes. “Kylo?” She asked, now panic rising through her entire being. How could she not see it, something had been wrong.

            He said nothing as he waved his hand and Ash’s world went black. He caught her before she dropped on the floor. Holding her in his arms one last time, Kylo Ren looked at her, he really looked at her. This was the only way, he knew he’d have to convince himself of that for the rest of his days.

           Slowly, he walked back towards one of the bunks and placed her down on it. His steps felt heavier than ever as he walked back to the cockpit, initiating the autopilot and walking out of the ship. The hiss off the ramp closing and whining behind him as it closed Ashlyn inside.

           The old transport unit began to rise off the ground, initiating its takeoff sequence as it slowly lifted higher and higher and soon moving towards the Launch Bay doors. They opened automatically from the motion of the ship. The unit disappeared out the door and up towards the sky as Kylo Ren watched it leave, the doors closing after a few moments.

           “You didn’t kill her.” He knew Hux had followed them; granted Hux could do nothing to stop him from whatever his plan was. Hux walked closer to Kylo Ren, now standing next to him as they watched the Launch Bay doors close fully.

             “Of course not.” Kylo said, his voice devoid of all emotion.

“She’s better off this way; existing far away from whatever this is.” Hux said with some distaste to their current situation. “Where did you send her?”

            “The only place she could be safe. Snoke would hunt her down if I sent her back where she came from. He won’t find her now.”

Hux nodded, understanding the vagueness. “You won’t tell me.”

            “It’s not safe.” He said, feeling the pull and strain on his being the further and further Ashlyn traveled. “If she knew; she’d tried to fight it. You know that as well as I do.”

She was gone and there was nothing he could do about it. She’d lead a better life without him, this was her only chance of surviving. As much as it hurt, at least she’d have a chance for a better life, a life he could never give her.

           He knew where she needed to go, even if she didn't know and had no say regardless. He knew someone who could keep her safe and also prevent her from trying to get back to him. Kylo Ren just needed to put those pieces in place and rip apart the completion he held dearly. While the connection with his contact was harder than he could have ever imagined, he broke down and did it.

  
It was for her. It was always for her.  
  


  

* * *

         

 

            He was on a scouting mission just on the outskirts of D’Qar among the asteroid and debris field. His X-Wing fluttered gently in space, the interior silent except for a few buzzing sounds from the ship itself. He sat back, looking outward at the sunrise on D’Qar, it was beautiful. A view he could never grow used to, especially from up there. He was a pilot, one of the best damn pilots some would say. Flying was his first love, he couldn’t deny that. “I’ll never get used to this view, buddy.” He said thoughtfully, receiving a few beeps in agreement from the droid on board.

            As he sat, relaxing as much he could in the safer territory, a blinking light began to flash on his dashboard. His ship had detected something moving at a rather fast pace towards D’Qar. He frowned, taking the controls of his ship in hand and turning just enough as he saw the old transport unit floating by. “What the…” He slammed his fist down on his communicator, turning on his commlink in his headset that communicated back to the main flight tower on D’Qar. “Ortho!” Urgency in his voice.

            “Hey, Commander star boy, what’s happening?” The rather excited Yarkora said through the link. “What can I do for ya?”

“We have an unmarked transport unit, an old one, heading for D’Qar. Can you get me a scan?” He asked.

            There was sudden urgency now as Ortho quickly ordered for the scan. After a few beats of silence, Ortho spoke again. “The ship has one life form on it.”

            “Any weapons?” He asked.

“None that I can see.” Ortho said.

            “So what, this thing is flying through space? Do I engage?” He asked. There was rustling on the other end as Ortho tried to figure out what they should do with the rogue unit flying towards D’Qar. The ship was getting closer and closer and the pilot was losing his patience. “Ortho, am I blowing it up or what?!”

            “Hold on, star boy!” Ortho hissed. “The General is here.”

There was another beat of silence before the graceful and yet powerful voice of a woman came over the commlink. “Pilot, do not engage the ship. Follow it to wherever it will land, we will join you there.” She said.

            “General?” He asked.

“That’s an order, Pilot.” The commlink ended then.

            The pilot looked back at the ship, watching as it hit the atmosphere of D’Qar. “Well…” He muttered. “General’s orders….” With that, he sped after the ship and followed it until it landed; unsure of what was awaiting him inside.

 


	31. Abandoned

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ash gets abandonment issues

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guys... GUYS. Holy heck guys! Thank you all so much for the comments! I really appreciate them! You guys rock and I'm happy to give you the next chapter! Also, I apologize for such a slow burn and short chapter, but I swear it'll make all the difference... I hope!

* * *

           

            Ash sat upright quickly, hissing as her head throbbed from the sudden motion. Her hands clutched her head as she tried to put the pieces together of where the hell she was. She looked around, recognizing the interior of the old transport unit. She carefully slid out of bed and began walking towards the front. That asshole was going to get a piece of her mind when she saw… she froze as she stared at a very bright field outside the windshield of the cockpit. She was no longer in the Launch Bay, hell… she wasn’t even on StarKiller. The grass gave that away as she began to panic.

            She slammed her fist into the release hatch button, the ramp slowly descending from the ship as Ash quickly exited the ship. She was standing in a warm and sunny field, flowers all around… and the sun… the sun was so welcoming. Yet, everything that should have been a comfort felt wrong. Where was she?

            “Oh hey, you’re awake.” She jumped as a man in an orange jumper approached. He threw his arms up cautiously, smiling brightly as he did. “Hey, it’s cool. Everything’s cool.” He said. Her hand hovered over her belt where her saber rested.

            “Where am I?” She asked, her voice sharp.

“D’Qar.” He answered. “You’re in the Ileenium System.” He then realized the girl really had no clue what was going on. “How did you get here?” Ash frowned, looking at the ship. “Well, yeah, I got that part. The ship took you. What I’m really asking is, why are you here?”

            Ash looked back at the stranger. “I was hoping you could tell me.”

He shrugged, still smiling that dazzling smile. “I don’t know why you’re here. Where did you come from?”

            She wasn’t sure she was at liberty to say. “I need to find the Commander.” She partially mumbled as she looked around.

            “Commander?” He asked. “I mean, **_I’m_** the Commander.”

Ash frowned, was this guy messing with her. Then, she saw the insignia on his flight suit. That wasn’t a First Order jumpsuit. “The Commander of what?” She asked, nervously.

            “My name’s Poe, Poe Dameron. I’m Commander of the Resistance, under the direction of General Leia Organa.”

            Her eyes went wide. “Oh… shit.”

Now Poe was getting uneasy, his eyes wandering towards Ashlyn’s jumper and to the First Order insignia. He then saw the weapon she had been discreetly reaching for. “We aren’t going to have a problem, are we?”

            “I think it might be too late for that…” There was hesitation in her tone.

With that, a larger transport unit came into view followed by three separate X-Wings. Both Ash and Poe looked up as they watched their distance shorten, arriving to the scene. “We’ll let the General decide.” Poe said as the ship’s landed close to the scene. It didn’t take long for a few Resistance soldiers to rush out, ready to fight if this meeting went sour. Almost as immediately as the soldiers took their place, an older woman emerged from the transport ship. Ash could sense right away a very strong presence as she walked forward. She wasn’t afraid of Ash, that was certain as she came closer to her.

            “You must be Ashlyn. I’m happy you’ve arrived safely. I hope Commander Dameron has welcomed you.” She said with a warm smile.

            Poe, now looking completely bewildered, spoke. “General, she’s from The First Order.” She could feel the tension suddenly form within everyone standing in the immediate area at the mention of what she was. However, the General didn’t flinch.

             “I know that, Commander Dameron.” The General said. “She’s also a welcomed guest that we are to keep safe.” She looked passed Ashlyn and to the ship. “I believe you have a message for me.”

            Ash started to nod only to quickly shake her head. “No--” She stopped herself. “Okay, yes, I do. I guess it’s for you. He didn’t specify. But can somebody please tell me what the hell is going on?”

            The General’s smile turned more sympathetic than anything. “How about we take you to the base and sort this out? You have my word that you are not a prisoner of the Resistance. You’re safe.”

            Ashlyn stood her ground, her eyes locking on everyone standing in the field, the nervous pilots along with the Commander, and the welcoming face of the General. Something in her gut told her she could trust her. With a curt nod, her hand dropped from her saber. The General walked forward, showing no fear or distrust from Ashlyn. She kept her smile as she looked to the ship. Ash nodded, stepping out of her way. The General marched onto the ship with purpose, found where the transmission was being kept and took the drive it was stashed away on. She didn’t wait for the message to play, in fact, on the orders she received it was better she didn’t.

            The General emerged from the ship, looking at the group hopefully. “We should head back. Dear, please ride with me.” She said to Ashlyn. Reluctantly, Ash followed the General, but not before sharing a quick glare with Poe. They didn’t trust each other, and that was fine. Perhaps this General could at least answer some of her questions.

           

 

* * *

 

           

            When the transporter arrived at the Resistance base, Ash stared in awe. Their base was underground, and looked much smaller than StarKiller. That was for certain. The General looked at Ashlyn. “Stick by my side, no one will bother you.” She said as they disembarked the transporter. Ashlyn did as she was told, sensing all the negative and shocked emotions coming from anyone and everyone they passed. Poe Dameron immediately joined them, standing on the other side of the General. “Mind if I walk with you, ma’am?”

            “Commander Dameron, when I tell you to trust me that this young lady is not going to harm me, I expect you to respect my wishes.” Ash liked this woman, she had a fire to her. She smiled apologetically to Ashlyn as they continued to walk, leaving Poe Dameron behind.

 

            The General’s office was on the small side, yet there was a desk and two well stocked bookcases with text that Ashlyn was unfamiliar with by first glance. She sat nervously in one of the only two chairs in the office, the General sat behind her desk. “You must have so many questions.”

            Ash shifted in her seat uncomfortably. “I won’t pretend that I’m not with the First Order or that this is a Resistance base. I just want to know how I can leave without too much trouble and get back to where I’m needed.”

            “If I could send you back, I would.” She sympathized. “I don’t have the means to do so.”

“I’m sure you can find a way.” Ash said, her tone somewhat dark.

            The General just smiled, recognizing that stubbornness. “I see you’re a Force User.” She said, nodding to the saber around Ash’s belt. “I can sense a great deal of struggle within you.”

            Ash made a face that held more confusion than anything. “You’re familiar with the Force?”

            “Let’s just say I have a very good understanding of it.” She smiled warmly. “My dear, you’re here for a reason, something I truly don’t know much about. However, I firmly believe it’s no accident.”

            “General--”

“Please, call me Leia.” She insisted.

            Ash took a moment of pause, trying to analyze what the hell was happening. “ _Leia_.” She repeated. “I have to get back to where I belong.”

            Leia knew; she had felt the pull to the light on the other side of the galaxy. The way he was now being torn and ripped back from the darkness. She felt it even before he had realized what was happening. When he reached out to her through the Force, she was surprised, but for a different reason. He needed help and he had nowhere else to go. Of course she helped him. What else was a mother to do? Regardless of the war and regardless of the galaxy; her son needed her. There was nothing that could stop that.

            She had her doubts, of course, that maybe this was a trap. Yet, something in his urgency and the way he battled his feelings, she knew. He made her promise that she would keep Ash safe and prevent her from coming back to him. “Ashlyn, you can’t go back.”

            Ash’s fingers dug into the arms of the chair she was sitting in, her knuckles turning white. “Why can’t I?”

            “I’m afraid I cannot disclose that information. I know I’m asking so much of you by asking you to trust me.” Leia’s tone was comforting. “But just know that this is for the best.”

            Ash shook her head. “You don’t understand, they need me. I need to go back; I have to go back.”

            Leia was given permission by the desperate man to do whatever necessary to convince Ashlyn to stay. Any other circumstance, she wouldn’t do so. However, the desperation from him was hard to ignore. He had sent Ashlyn to D’Qar with a message. This message was to be used in the event to trick Ashlyn. While Leia was against hurting the girl, she knew she had to. With a reluctance, she plugged the hologram drive into a slot on her desk. One her desk, a blue hologram appeared. It was him; Kylo Ren with his helmet on.

            ‘ _General Organa. As per our negotiation for the release of the First Order personnel you have captured; we offer a trade for their safety. This maintenance worker is freelance, she has no true allegiance to us and is useless to us. Use her as you will, her life means nothing.’_ It wasn’t true. Leia knew that. Ashlyn didn’t; she could see it on the girls face as the hologram disappeared.

            “That can’t be…” She said emotionless.

“We traded a war criminal for your safety; a necessary trade. You’ll be safe now.” Leia could feel the anger and hurt begin to pool up inside the red haired girl before her. She hated lying to someone she had never met before. Yet, she made a promise. A promise she wasn’t sure she wanted to keep as she saw the panic begin to arise on the girls face. “I promise you’ll be safe here. We can use someone with your specialties and--” Ash was up out of her chair and running for the door. “Ashlyn!”

            She ran; that was all she could do. This couldn’t be true, none of it could be true. He wouldn’t just trade her life away like that. There had to be a mistake. She ran down corridor after corridor, ignoring the startled Resistance members. “Hey!” A somewhat familiar voice called behind her. Ash peered behind to see Poe Dameron now chasing after her along with a few other Resistance members.

            She kept running, dodging Resistance after Resistance as she tried to escape. If she could get to one of those x-wings, maybe she could break the atmosphere before they shot her down. Corner after corner, Ash turned and was now faced with a dead end. “Shit!” She hissed, turning to see those who were chasing her, lead by Poe Dameron. She was trapped like a womp rat; cornered.

            Ash was in a state of panic, Poe could see it on her face as his hand hovered over his plasma rifle. That didn’t go unnoticed by Ash as she grabbed her saber from her belt. With a flick of her wrist, the amber blade shot out. “Hey, easy there. I don’t want to hurt you.” He tried.

            “I want off this base!” Ash demanded, clutching her lightsaber.

Leia had finally caught up to the commotion then, pushing her way forward and to the front of the group. “Ashlyn, please listen to me. The Force has guided you here; we only want to help.”

            She growled. “Like hell you do!” With that, she raised her saber.

In that moment, two things happened; Poe grabbed his blaster, shifted it to stun and knocked Ashlyn out. Her body falling limp on the floor, her saber now making a burn mark on said floor where she lied limp. Two; Leia slapped Poe on the back of the head for doing so. “What?!” He gasped. “She was going to attack!”

            “We could have talked her out of it.” Leia sighed, desperation in her voice. What had she gotten her base in to? “Take Ashlyn to one of the rooms; make sure she doesn’t hurt herself.”

            Poe nodded to the lightsaber. “What about that?”

Leia walked to weapon and picked up the lightsaber; the blade retracting. Poe gave her a pointed look. “You forget my lineage, Commander Dameron.”

            As the commotion cleared, Poe stayed behind with Leia, watching as other Resistance members took Ashlyn away. “Why her?”

“She’s important.” Leia explained. “I need you to trust me on this one. Try and be patient with her; we need her comfortable and settled in here.”

            There were a lot of things Poe Dameron didn’t understand; the Force being one of them. Yet, he knew if Leia had a feeling, it was better to follow than not.

 

* * *

 

            Hux did his research; he studied the surveillance cameras for hours, waiting for someone to show up in front of the cavern door. When that proved to be a fruitless effort, he pulled up a record of every communication that left the base. He’d catch the bastard that did this, and when he did… well, it was better to not think of it.

            His bottle of whiskey was empty by the end of that fateful day, things were falling out of line and Kylo Ren had been slipping further and further into a darkness unlike anything he’d seen before. Ashlyn Novafall was truly the force that pulled him back to the light, that kept him from diving deeper. Now, she was gone.

            He was surprised, to say the least, that Ren deliberately disobeyed the Supreme Leader. While he had expected a different outcome, he was at least a little relieved it didn’t come to that. Now the question was, where did he send her? Then again, should anyone but Kylo Ren know the answer to that? The anonymous contact that Kylo Ren was in touch with only held suspicion, even for General Hux. Who was Kylo in contact with? Who did he trust enough to keep the girl safe? Again, a question that didn’t matter.

            Then, he saw it. The communication that was delivered to Snoke. The transmission was short, it only stated the corruption that Kylo Ren was having an affair and that it would be in the Supreme Leader’s best interest to end it. “The balls…” Hux muttered as he traced back to transmission. To his surprise, it came from the maintenance bay. Soon, Hux was staring at the exact person whom had betrayed them; betrayed Kylo Ren, betrayed her. “Got you, you son-of-a-bitch.” Hux said victoriously as he stood from his desk and headed for the cavern to cut-off Kylo Ren.

            Hux had arrived to the cavern door just as Kylo Ren was leaving. The man looked defeated; exhausted. Surely, he did not get any sleep. “Commander Ren.” Hux said; his tone serious.

            Kylo Ren placed his helmet over his head. “General.” The distortion replied.

“Walk with me.” Hux nodded back down the hallway where he came from. Ren silently obliged as the two continued to walk side by side. “How are you?”

            The helmet growled. “How do you think?”

Right, dumb question. “I had done some research this morning; watching surveillance, tracing transmissions. The usual.” Kylo said nothing as he peered out the slits of his mask at the ginger next to him. “The transmission to the Supreme Leader came from maintenance.” Kylo Ren knew, he had somehow always known in the back of his mind. Whether it was a feeling coming through from the Force or his hatred for the man. Hux’s expression was unreadable as he avoided looking at the masked figure next to him. “I won’t tell you not to.” He said simply as he continued walking down the hallway.

             That was all the permission Kylo Ren needed. His body sharply turned and left for a different destination all together. It pained him to be walking down the maintenance wing knowing that she wouldn’t be there. It tug at every part of his being as he stopped once reaching his destination.

              With a swift wave of his hand, the door to the apartment in question ripped open. He stormed right in, his lightsaber in his hand as he scanned the room. Taka, with fear in his eyes, got up from his couch and began backing away. It didn’t take long for him to register what the Commander was doing there.

              His saber crackled and hissed, echoing in the room as it illuminated the space in the deep shade of red. “I’m really going to enjoy this.” His mask hissed, unable to fully express the anger hiding behind it.

              Taka had no one to hide behind anymore, he made sure of that when he went to the Supreme Leader in the first place. What he thought would get Kylo Ren in trouble, maybe even sent away, completely backfired. What was done, was done. And no one dared to intervene as the rest of the maintenance team heard the screams echoing down the hallway.

 

* * *

 

              She gasped for air as her body sat upward, her chest heaving as she woke from being stunned earlier. Her head was pounding; if she saw that Poe Dameron again she’d kill him. Speaking of killing him, she reached down to her belt, her saber was gone. In a panic, she looked around the small room. There, on a wooden table against the wall across from her bed sat the familiar weapon. She sighed with relief, forcing herself off the bed and grabbing the saber. She felt complete again.

            Ash took note of the room she was in; brown walls, a twin sized bed, a table and a small light on said table and a door leading to the refresher. There wasn’t much to look at; then again, she wasn’t making it a permanent residence. She was out of here the moment she left the door.

            As Ash made her way to the door, she felt something tug on her mental state; pulling her to stay in the room. “Stop.” The deep voice said. Ash turned to see the man in black standing in her room. He looked tired; worn out. He had felt her panicking state and her plan to bust out of the base at any cause. He had to stop her.

            Her body trembled slightly as she saw him. “Are you really there?” She asked; skepticism as she stared him down in disbelief.

“No. It’s the bond.” Ren informed her, keeping himself in check and careful not to reveal too much. “That’ll all go away soon.”

            “Go away?” Ash asked. “What do you mean ‘ _go away’?_ What is going on?”

He hesitated for just a moment. “You are staying here from now on.”

            “Why?” Her tone filling with something Kylo Ren hadn’t felt from her in so long; hurt. “Why am I here?”

He played it off as though it were nothing. “I don’t need you any longer.” He said. “It’s over. Your use has run out.”

            Ash’s chest tightened; she found it very hard to breathe then. “My use?”

“Were you not playing my game, Ashlyn?” Kylo Ren’s voice was cruel; he knew he had to be cruel. He had to be to get her to stay put.

            Her cheeks began to burn from anger, embarrassment, pain; he didn’t mean it, right? “I was not a pawn in your game.” She didn’t sound so convinced then.

“Weren’t you?” It killed him just as much to destroy her. “I got what I wanted. Be happy I didn’t dispose of you instead.”

            Her body unwillingly trembled then. “You don’t mean that.”

Kylo Ren’s own chest was tightening. By the stars, he wish he could just tell her. He really did. But he knew Ashlyn. He knew she’d fight to come back. He couldn’t have that happen. It was better off if she forgot him; she’d lead a happier existence if she did. “Come now, Ash. You didn’t believe I actually could have loved you, did you?” Inside, his mind was screaming for him to stop. This killed him just as much as he watched her heart break right in front of him.

             She felt a sinking feeling in the pit of her stomach; how could he do this? How? Perhaps she had been wrong about him. Perhaps he truly was as evil as everyone claimed. “You’re a monster.” She said through gritted teeth. “A fucking monster.”

“Goodbye, Ashlyn.” He couldn’t hurt her anymore. He had to be done with it and leave. With that, his projection of Kylo Ren was gone. Taking everything with him.

            Ash yelled; in anger, in hate, in sadness. Every negative emotion that could ever be held by the girl surfaced. She grabbed her lightsaber and without thinking clearly, she destroyed everything around her. Her heartache could be heard outside the door, and felt by two people. One was on base, the other was miles and miles across the stars feeling every bit of it as she did.

            After her tantrum subsided, she retracted her saber and threw it across the room. Ashlyn sank to the floor and pulled her legs to her chest tightly. Unable to control everything she was feeling, she began to sob. Her body rocking back and forth slightly; everything hurt. Everything was painful and Ashlyn couldn’t do anything.

 

In that moment; Kylo Ren sank further into the darkness with Ashlyn Novafall not too far behind.

 


	32. Ash Welcomes The Darkness

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ashlyn loses herself in darkness with no end in sight. However, there may still be hope when she befriends a funny little droid and his pilot friend.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guys, seriously. You're all way too good to me. I began writing this story as a way to pass the time and maybe entertain a few people with it. I never, EVER expected this kind of traction with it. You've been an amazing audience and I can only hope I keep you happy with each chapter... even if we're all miserable right now at the current affairs of our two main characters.
> 
> Speaking of which, we're going to be entering some sad stuff... so hang in there while we trek through it together, okay?

 

* * *

 

 

              Something inside Ashlyn, that had always been there, woke; a burning of passion, fire, anger… darkness. A hidden part of her that she didn’t know existed, yet it did. In some facet, it lie dormant and waited for its opportunity to break free. As Ash entered her most vulnerable state; heartache and betrayal, the beast took hold and escaped.

            It happened late one evening, a few days after the dust had settled. At first, Ash thought she was going to be sick. Her chest tightened; her body ached. Something was gnawing at her; clawing its way to the surface. It was darkness. The dark side of the Force, taking the opportunity in her weakened state to come forward and be the driving force in her existence.

            Ash fought it, in any sense she could. Her body now covered in a cold sweat as the shadow overcame her; ripping any semblance of light from her being and taking over. Tears welled in her eyes as she gripped the bed sheets tighter; her knuckles turning white from the pressure. A part of her wanting to keep fighting; the only sense of reason in her to try and stay grey through all of this and not let the darkness win. That little voice was shrouded by shadow as his face came to mind. _What was the point in fighting it anymore?_

            She gave in; letting the dark side take hold. It molded to her, shaped with her inner connection. Perhaps it was better this way and maybe letting go would prove necessary in her survival. Or rather, lack thereof.

            Her body relaxed into the new-found darkness that she hadn’t known existed within her. The light smothering out of existence. Ashlyn Novafall fell out of grey and into something much, much darker and no one could stop it. Not even the Force Sensitive on base who began to lose just a little bit of hope in bringing the light back to those who needed it. If Ashlyn couldn’t find it; maybe there was no hope to begin with.

 

* * *

 

            The next two weeks had gone by and Ashlyn had submerged so deeply into a depression that no one thought she’d ever come out of. In her anger and hatred came a sadness that plunged her deeper into the darkness; her head barely above the surface. She succumbed to it; welcomed it in her desperate state.

            Everything hurt. Ash would end up in their shared dream space; however, she would continue to find it empty. He was trying his damnedest to shut her out. Little did she know it was for her own good. Ashlyn Novafall was a Force User that was left on the outside, with no understanding what was happening. Yet, she still felt him. She felt the Force he brought, even when he wasn’t visible to her. That was something Kylo Ren needed to perfect, and he would.

              She wasn’t prepared for the worst feeling that came towards the end of the second week when she no longer could feel him. Their bond was breaking, like he promised it would. She cried even harder that night.

             Ash began to loathe the Force then, even more so than she had ever done in the past. This time, her detest in the Force felt warranted. If she used it, she would find herself suffering more and more. It was an ugly reminder of **_him_** ; an ugly reminder that her life was out of control. Yet, unbeknownst to Ashlyn, the more she fought it, the deeper she sank into troubled waters.

            She refused any visitors, anyone that came into the room was met with uncertainty of an angry Ashlyn or a sobbing one. People were warned of the darkness that enveloped her living space. She was unpredictable. It showed in the days when Ashlyn would lose control and nearly take off the head of anyone who dared arrive at her door. Some days were better than others.

              On better days, brave Resistance members would deliver her a tray of food twice a day, she could sense their fear. The fear of the unknown; would Ashlyn become like the only other Force User they had known? Would she become Kylo Ren?

              When food was delivered, Ash ate only enough to keep herself alive and that was by Leia’s request. For two weeks she simply stayed in her room alone. A part of her knowing that she had become dangerous and out of control. A part that maybe still harnessed the light; a part she swore would never come to surface again. It wasn’t until the end of that second week, something had changed.

            She almost expected the first tray of food to be awkwardly brought in by some Resistance member. She had been doing well that day, no outbursts or deep pulls to the darkness. Yet, when the door opened, instead, a familiar orange and white BB unit rolled in. The door closing behind him as he rolled into the room.

            Ash had been lying on the floor, yet the moment the droid came in, she sat up; wiping her tear stained cheeks as she looked at him.  “What is it?” Her voice harsh. She had seen this droid in her dreams before; she wasn’t sure if that was comforting or anger inducing. Either way, the droid beeped. “What does it look like? Of course, I’m sad.” Ash replied angrily as he beeped again. “Oh, you’re just trying to be nice. That’s helpful. Real helpful.” She retorted.

            The droid beeped and clicked furiously before calming down. Ash pursed her lips, unhappy at the response before she replied. “It’s Ashlyn. I’m a mechanic--” she paused before rephrasing her answer. “I **_was_** a mechanic for the First Order. The best, in fact.” The droid beeped frantically. “Calm down! I’m not dangerous or anything. Jeez.” Even though that was a debatable response at the current moment. She didn’t **_feel_** so violent or angry when the droid arrived. She looked at the BB unit before finally giving in to the temptation. “And who are you now?” He beeped proudly. “BB-8? Alright, BB-8, why are you here?” The BB unit beeped more. “Curiosity? You’re here because you’re curious?”

            BB-8’s beeps turned somewhat sadly again as Ashlyn listened to him. She sighed regretfully at his comment. “You heard me crying.” She answered with some degree of annoyance as BB-8 beeps again. “Well thanks for your concern, but I don’t need it. I’m fine staying here.” He blipped, Ash rolled her eyes. “I’m fine!” She stated once more. BB-8’s head drooped ever so slightly, causing Ashlyn to feel a little bad for yelling at the droid. “I’m sorry, okay?” She muttered. “I’m just not feeling quite myself anymore.” She sighed. “Then again, did I ever?” She questioned it often as of late. Was any of it real? Were the last seven months really a lie? It sure as hell felt like it.

            Ash was suffering from not just heartache, but abandonment. She trusted him. She trusted the Force… and now here she was. Sitting on the floor of the Resistance base with a little droid that was adamant about being overly curious and in her business. Granted, she’d rather the droid over an actual person. At least hurting the droid if she were to have an outburst would have less of a consequence.

            He was a funny little droid; this BB unit. He had personality and spirit. Something guided him to Ashlyn, and even though he was but a droid, the Force wasn’t exactly too picky on its subjects. BB-8 unknowingly would play an important role for not just Ashlyn, but for the entire Resistance operation. For now, he was the comfort and interaction Ash needed, and for the next week, he continued to visit her randomly throughout the day.

            The droid was the unadmitted highlight of her day; that one glimmer of hope and happiness Ashlyn found in her existence lately. He even began to bring her little gadgets for her to play with and fix while he kept her company for a short while. It worked in distracting her. For that brief time, she’d forget about Kylo Ren, the Force, and everything else and do the one thing that always kept her distracted; work. Even if the work was silly things the droid brought her.

 

* * *

 

            It had taken three days for the cleanup crew to undo the damage he left in his wake and Kylo Ren felt nothing after he mutilated Taka. He wasn’t sure what he had expected. It wouldn’t bring Ashlyn back. She was gone and with her the only piece of light that Kylo Ren had held on to. It killed him just as much to let her go, to break her heart and leave her stranded. Yet, he knew he had to. He had to keep her safe by any means necessary with maybe that small shroud of hope that everything would work itself out.  

           Phasma had finally returned to the base and was immediately intercepted by Hux. She had wanted her first day back on base to be a peaceful one without much fanfare. That immediately changed when she saw Hux’s demeanor. He unwillingly had to catch Phasma up to speed at the ongoings of StarKiller and the overhaul.

            The two sat in his office, Phasma had a look of disbelief on her face as neither one spoke. Hux held his head in his hands; his hands gripping his slicked back ginger hair as he inhaled sharply.

            “So, what does this mean?” Phasma asked. “What happens now?”

Hux shrugged, sitting upright and smoothing his hair back in place. “It means we have a ticking time bomb on our hands. It means that Kylo Ren is even more unpredictable. It means--” He was getting himself worked up. With a sigh, his shoulders slumped. “It means, you and I have more work to do.”

            Phasma didn’t care if it made her look week, she was truly concerned over a lot of things. One of those things being Kylo Ren. “How is he?”

            “Exactly how we predicted he would be.” Hux admitted. “Miserable, at best.”

Phasma nodded. “And Ashlyn? Do we know where she is?” Hux merely shook his head. “Do you think someday she’ll come back?”

            Hux frowned, not in anger or annoyance, but in more thought than anything. “Do we really want her to?” He asked. “She’s safe. She’s safe and far away from this chaos. Should we bring her back into all this?”

            “You know he won’t let her go.” Phasma said, somewhat hopeful and fearful. “If he wins this--” She rephrased her sentence. “ _When_ he wins this. He’ll just drag her back in.”

            “Our Commander is selfish.” Hux agreed. “Whatever may come, I fear we are going to stray from the original course and that Kylo Ren will lose sight of it all by the end.”

            “Don’t say that, Armitage.” She rarely used his first name. Yet, in that moment, they were both feeling the loss. Not just of Ashlyn, but the impending doom that loomed over them. Kylo Ren could not be reined in when allowed to rampage without something to hold him back. Ashlyn was that something. Now, without her? What was to become of their Commander and more importantly, what was to become of them?

           

* * *

 

 

            BB-8 had a brilliant idea one day; he knew how to get his new friend up an about. He entered Ashlyn’s room and began beeping as though his life depended on it. Ash stared at him curiously, trying to get all the information in. “You need **_my_** help?” He beeped in confirmation, he wanted her to leave the safety of her room. “I really don’t think so.” He blipped dejectedly. Ash groaned in reply. “Fine, take me to the ship.” BB-8 chirped in excitement as he began to roll to the door. Ash stood from her spot, stretching her legs in what felt like forever. She figured she owed him this one favor seeing how he kept her company.

                She grabbed her work belt and wrapped it around her waist, pausing for a moment before ultimately deciding to not bring her lightsaber with her. She was leaving that part behind her for now as she reluctantly left her room and followed after BB-8.

           

            Ash followed BB-8 outside where the ships were stationed, she never knew she could hate sunshine and warmth so much. She also never thought she’d miss the freezing cold of StarKiller. Granted, most of that was missing him. She hated that thought, it brought up a feeling of nausea and anger when she thought of it.

            As she walked, she heard grumbling by one of the X-wings. “Come on…” The frustrated voice said, followed by the excited beeps of the droid next to her. The two made their way over to the ship and the clearly frustrated man working on it. That man was Poe, she realized as he came around to the front of the ship and looking up at it in somewhat frustration. The ship had smoke coming from the front end, in a certain area of the engine Ash could immediately recognize.

           “It’s the internal stabilization track.” She said in passing. “It’s overheating your engine.”

Poe looked over at her, his face changing from annoyance, to shock that Ashlyn was up and about, back to that slight annoyance.  “And you know this how?” Then BB-8 began beeping loudly. “Pal, I can fix it myself, alright?” He argued with the droid.

            “I’m a mechanic.” Ash chided dryly, ignoring his ignorance. “Fixing things is what I do.”

Poe took a moment as his lips slowly curled up to a grin before looking down at BB-8 then to the ship. “Alright, First Order.” He approved, moving out of the way and holding out the wrench he was using. “Show me what you got.”

            Ash frowned; he was so easily willing to trust her with his ship. It seemed odd. She peeked into his mind; checking for any ulterior motive and coming up disappointedly empty handed. “You can’t be serious.”

“My buddy here says you’re really good. I’m inclined to believe him.” Poe nodded to the BB unit. “But you break my girl; I break you. Got it?” He was only half joking.

            Ash rolled her eyes before walking over to Poe and the X-Wing. She took the wrench from his hand and examined the engine. She hadn’t worked on one of these in a while, but she knew she could fix it. So, she began to do the one thing she knew how to do, and worked.

            “So, a mechanic, huh?” Poe mused, watching Ash as she worked. Ash hummed in acknowledgement as she continued to work. “What made you choose to work for the First Order?”

            “I didn’t choose anything.” Ash claimed, pulling at a panel that lead to a small motherboard. “I’m freelance.”

            “But you still chose to work with them?” He asked again as he folded his arms over his chest.

Ash glared. “Listen, Pal. If you want me to fix your ship--”

             Poe laughed. “Relax, I’m kidding.” Ash rolled her eyes and returned to her work. “Where did you learn your trade?”

            “I’m a Force User from the First Order and all you care about is the credibility of my mechanic trade?” Ash asked, her tone sarcastic but light.

           “I don’t really care for all that Force nonsense.” Poe answered honestly. “I’m interested in how you learned to fix things.”

            That was a first in a long time. “I was taught young, my early teen years.” Ash explained, unsure why she was telling him all this anyway. “I worked for Laynor Gal-Far in a very reputable shop on Lothal.”

            Poe nodded in recognition. “I know of it.” Ash looked at him, giving him a _yeah right_ look. “No, seriously, I do!” He laughed. “It’s a pretty well-known place to get a lot of parts you can’t find outside the black market. I prefer to stay out of that scene.”

            “Such a noble hero, are we?” Ash said, smirking.

“Ah, see? She has humor!” Poe exclaimed joyously. “We’re getting somewhere.” Ash tried to focus again on the ship as Poe continued. “It’s hard to find parts for this thing, Laynor was really good at getting them in the most reputable way possible without angering any crime lords.”

            Ash hummed. “You’re piloting a T-70. These things are as rare as they come, but I do remember getting in parts for something like this. Where did you get it from?” She asked. “Steal it from some traders?”

            He grinned. “Negative, First Order.” Poe explained. “I fly under the callsign of Black Leader, The Republic thought I needed something just a little more powerful for my piloting skills.”

            Ash smirked. “Best pilot in the galaxy or something?” She was egging him on.

He didn’t take the bait. “So they say.”

            “Why a pilot?” Ash asked with genuine curiosity she couldn’t tame. Damn that Poe Dameron, he was too easy to talk to. “Don’t Commander’s typically hide behind the ranks and give orders?”

            Poe smiled thoughtfully. “My mother was a pilot. She was a lieutenant in the Alliance to Restore the Republic after the Empire fell.”

            “Well, that’s exciting.” Ash mused dryly, trying not to give him any credit. “You must make her proud.”

            Poe was quiet for a moment. “I wouldn’t know. She died when I was eight.”

Ash bit her lip, not taking her eyes from the ship. “I’m sorry to hear that.”

            “It’s a very common thing during war.” Poe explained. “It changes people for better or worse. I’m choosing to make the best of it.”

            Ash could understand that, perhaps better than anyone. Her family was killed due to the remains of war. It had changed the way she saw things and handled things. Poe Dameron was just another child affected from the end of the galactic war. Now, here he was fighting in another one. Did it make a difference in the end? History just seemed to repeat itself over and over again.

            Ash tightened a few loose couplings in the internal stabilization track; the moment she finished, the smoke began to stop almost immediately. “Hey, looks like you do know what you’re doing, First Order.” Poe grinned. “Thanks for your help.”

            Ash looked to the orange and white droid; ignoring the praise from Poe. “I did what you asked, can I go now?”  

            BB-8 beeped and buzzed a few times, receiving a look from Poe. Ash began to nervously shut down at the suggestion, Poe quickly tried to amend that. “I think that’s a great idea.” He said looking to Ashlyn. “Why not join us in the mess hall; take a break from moping around and eat a hot meal for once.” He couldn’t have known that the meals brought to her were cold by the time she eventually got to them, right?

            “I don’t think so.” She said, brushing stray red locks behind her ears. “I’m the enemy remember?”

            “What happened to being freelance?” Poe asked teasingly. “C’mon, I don’t know how else to thank you for fixing my ship.” She hesitated again. “I promise it’ll be painless.”

            Her reluctance showed on her face, she had no plans to hide it. She was already out and about doing more than she had planned all thanks to BB-8. In doing so, she was a hazard to those around her. It would be better for her to sink back into oblivion and hide. Ash wouldn’t be so easy to convince and she made that clear as she sighed. “Another time.”

                It wasn’t a ‘yes’, but it also wasn’t a ‘never in a million years’ in Poe Dameron’s eyes. “I’ll take you up on that, First Order.” Ash waved him off before turning and heading back to where she had come from. It was then Poe Dameron decided he was going to get Ashlyn Novafall to open up and come back to the living world.

* * *

 

             Grim and the twins sat in Sid’s office; uncertainty filling the room as Grim finally spoke. “We’re going to be joining forces with some of the crew on the Finalizer.” Grim was now in charge, against all reasoning. He was technically next in line after Taka…. And Taka? Well, he had been brutally murdered. While the remaining group didn’t really know the entire story, Grim had had a feeling buried deep within his gut that Taka had done something to provoke the disappearance of Ashlyn.

            The twins didn’t argue against that little belief either. Now, it was just the three of them, fixing any power outages or rebooting systems when needed. StarKiller was finished; yet there had been no word on any testing as far as they knew. Something was up, Grim understood that when the lack of fanfare from the higher ups over his new promotion happened. Grim also knew it was better to not get involved; he’d end up like Taka or worse. If there could even be a worse.

            He saw what Kylo Ren had done to him. After the man in the mask stormed out of Taka’s room, Grim snuck in to see. Taka had been mutilated; torn apart limb from limb. He had lightsaber burns all over his body; the room was a mess. There were signs of struggle, of Taka trying to get away. He had done nothing to help. That inkling in the back of his mind that Taka had deserved what was coming to him.

            Now, Grim had to pick up the pieces left in the wake of Ashlyn’s absence and the death of Taka. He could only hope that when the arrival of the new recruits from the Finalizer arrived, he could keep the band together without much of an issue. That was easier said than done on StarKiller as of late.

* * *

 

           Ash had expected the orange and white droid to enter her living quarters, but not accompanied by Poe Dameron. When the door slid open to reveal the excited droid and the somewhat-nervous-to-be-overstepping-his-boundaries Poe, Ash froze. “I could use your help.”

            Her arms folded across her chest. “With?”

“You’re a mechanic, right? Mechanical stuff.” Poe joked, looking passed Ash to see the mess her room was in. The lightsaber burn marks in most of the walls and furniture. “Yikes, everything okay in here?”

            Ash frowned. “Are you here to make fun of my room too?”

Poe raised his hands defensively. “I promise it’s all good intentions. One of our communication systems is on the fritz. I figured, if you weren’t busy…”

            She quirked a brow before looking down at BB-8. “You put him up to this, didn’t you?” BB-8 blipped in denial. The temptation to work and keep busy was all the more prominent for Ashlyn lately. It was her only escape from overthinking things. Also, she was hopeful that this would maybe make Poe go away finally. “Alright, take me to it.”

            Poe beamed in victory. “You’re the best, First Order.”

Ash scoffed. “You know I have a name, right?”

            “Ashlyn, right?” He wasn’t dumb, he knew that. She knew he knew that.

With a huff, she grabbed her belt. “Just call me Ash.” It was progress in Poe’s mind as he lead Ash to the main communications room.

* * *

 

            Ash hadn’t worn her First Order jumper since her arrival on the Resistance base. It was an ugly reminder of what once was, which was fine. She didn’t want the stares from the Resistance members anyway. Instead, she had her basic blank top with a faded, brown utility jumper with her black combat boots. If it weren’t for the fiery red hair and new-found temper, she’d blend in with the background.

            The communications room was busy with all different forms of life engaging in their own conversations. That was something she found interesting; the First Order never had different species on their side, only humans. Then again, humans were monsters. It made sense and Ashlyn was bitter.

            Her eyes happened to lock on the only person in the room who seemed to notice her arrival with Poe. The General. Leia offered a warm smile as she walked over to them, much to her dismay. “I’m happy to see you out and about, Ashlyn.” She was sincere, Ash could sense as much. She held no contempt for the girl; regardless of how unpredictable and unstable she was as of late.

            “Poe said you needed my help with something.” Ash admitted.

Leia gave Poe a quick look, unsure of what Ash had been talking about. “The third hub communicator is down, I know Ashlyn is really good at fixing things. She helped with my X-wing yesterday. Thought she could help now.” Poe explained.

            “We could always use more help.” Leia insisted. To be honest, she was just happy Ashlyn was alive and out of her room. Surely, her son would have been pleased to know that. Her smile never faltered as she said once more. “It really is good to see you up and moving around.” Leia sensed the light in the girl, she knew the importance of her. She also knew that Ashlyn was the key in perhaps bringing her son home. Maybe not now, but someday. She wasn’t just any source of light, but **_his_** light. That meant more to Leia than Ash could ever understand and she wanted nothing more than to help the girl in finding her place in all of this.

            Poe noticed the girl beginning to hesitate slightly; he took action. “Hey, let’s go fix that hub, shall we?”

            Leia nodded. “Yes, please. Don’t let me stop you.”

“Thank you, General.” Poe smiled nervously as he directed Ashlyn to the third hub station, hoping she wouldn’t freak out and book it for the nearest exit. To his surprise and relief, she didn’t. “Alright, here it is.”

            Ash looked at it skeptically, while it was off, there was no obvious answer as to why it wasn’t working. Cautiously, she walked over to the hub and after pressing a few buttons, a hologram popped up containing a map. However, the map was warped and upside down. Something was messed up in the wiring.

            “Can you fix it?” Poe asked.

“Piece of cake.” She insisted as she tied her red hair back in a ponytail and immediately got to work. Ash lowered herself under the console and began removing the three panels that made up the wireframe. She began to pull out a few wires that Poe was certain would blow up the base at first. To his relief, it obviously didn’t.

             After about ten minutes in, Poe was leaning over the main hub, looking down through the center as Ashlyn worked; he was mesmerized by her discipline. “You really learned all this working beside Laynor?” Poe asked incredulously.

           “I had a knack for it.” Ash explained as she loosened a few screws. “It kept me busy and I liked it.” She then exhaled sharply. “The Force also apparently helps, or so I’m told.”

           “That voodoo magic stuff helps?” Poe asked.

Ash couldn’t help but smirk at the comment. “Do you know anything about the Force?” Ash asked. “Isn’t the General sensitive or something?”

            “She is.” Poe grinned at her insinuating tone. “She says you do a little more than just feel the Force around you. You can actually do stuff.”

            “ ** _Now_** you’re interested in my Force abilities?” Ash scoffed.

“I’m just curious.” Poe explained. “You have something a little extra than what General Organa has.”

            Ash grunted as she ripped out another wiring panel. “Extra how?” She asked.

“For one, you have a lightsword.”

            “Lightsaber--”

“Whatever.”

            “That it?” Ash asked in annoyance.

Poe shrugged. “Honestly, I don’t know.” He chuckled at the ridiculous conversation now. “What can you do?”

            He was investigating her as politely as possible. Granted, it was sheer curiosity. Yet, he also wanted to know if Ash was a ticking time bomb ready to explode. She wasn’t. At least, they both hoped that.

            With an exasperated sigh, she reluctantly focused on the panel, moving it with only the Force. Poe’s eyes lit up in shock and awe. “Well, that’s definitely different.”

            “I’m not here for your entertainment and to perform parlor tricks.” Ash snapped.

“I didn’t say you were, First Order.” Poe agreed with a wink. BB-8 beeps. “What? I’m not bothering her!”

            Ash grinned. “He’s right you know, you are bothering me.”

Poe frowned. “Good to know you’ve taken sides, buddy.” BB-8 chirped. “She’s nicer than me? Really?” He said incredulously, causing Ashlyn to unwillingly laugh at the argument. Poe smiled then. “She can laugh too.”

            Ash rolled her eyes, of course she could laugh. It wasn’t like she lacked feelings. Okay, perhaps lately, it seems that way. She finished up the wiring, reworking the inner system to hopefully fix the problem. “Make yourself useful, hero; turn it on.”         

            Poe’s brow quirked ever so slightly at his new nickname. “ _Hero?_ ”

“If I’m the First Order and you see me to be the evil in this galaxy, then I guess that makes you the hero. Doesn’t it?” Ash quipped as Poe chuckled in reply. He followed her instructions, turning the unit on. The hologram appeared once more, this time in working order. “How’s it looking?”

            “Perfect.” Poe exaggerated playfully. “It’s running better than before.”

Ash groaned at his comment, ceiling the panels once more and crawling out from under the hub. She brushed off her pants; removing any dirt before looking at Poe. “That it?”

            “I’m sure I can find more work for you.” Poe said.

“Aren’t you the Commander?” Ash asked skeptically. “Isn’t there someone else you can boss around to tell me what to do?”

            He beamed. “I like being direct when asking for help.” Ash tried to hide her smile as best as possible. Poe Dameron was annoying, but by the stars, he was quite charming. “Want to grab something at the mess hall tonight?”

            The sinking feeling came back as Ash denied him once more. “Not today.” She stated bluntly before heading for the door; only to hear the quick conversation between Poe and BB-8.

            “Don’t worry, buddy. She can’t say ‘no’ forever.” But she’d try.

 


	33. Ash Sees Ghosts

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ashlyn lashes out at her new friends, finds a new sense of hope and a new teacher.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I'm pretty sick right now. I have a viral infection, but that won't stop me from updating this story for you guys! But I'll probably take a break until after Christmas so I don't... you know... die. 
> 
> But also. I'm trying something different. You'll get an idea if you pay attention to the chapter title. -winky face-
> 
> Thank y'all who commented. You guys are amazing. All of you are. You're making this whole dying feeling so worth it.

 

* * *

 

 

Each day was a new struggle for Ashlyn; with the annoying “help” from Poe Dameron and his buddy, BB-8, she felt an even bigger strain on herself. He kept trying to break down the walls she had been hiding behind. However, in doing so, he only endangered himself in Ashlyn’s eyes. She had to work twice as hard to not accidentally hurt him, or worse.

           Ash shifted into a dark place she never imagined she’d end up. In fear of feeling that darkness surrounding her, she tried her hardest to not use the Force as much as possible. She was also afraid of who could get hurt if she did. That must have been a sign of some sort that she still had light in her, right? She had never felt so connected and disconnected all at once before. Now, her internal struggle was taking over. The more she used the Force, the more of a pull to the darkside she felt.

            There was also the battle of the light that still resided somewhere within her. A war between the darkness that was consuming her and the light that wanted to bring her back from it all. Now she understood what he meant by how easy a grey Force User could be swayed. Granted, he was the one to tip the scale in the first place and pushed her to the dark.

            Ash tried not to think about him; it was proving to be more difficult than she could have ever imagined. She was grateful that Poe had taken the time to give her work, while unknowingly feeding into her bad habits. Most days, it worked and Ashlyn could function long enough to feel the weight of the darkness shift off her shoulders. Today, hadn’t been one of those days. She couldn’t help but think about him; miss him. In turn, it shut her down as the weight of it all crushed her very being.

            Maybe someday, she’d be ready to face it. She knew the only way to pull herself back was to use the Force properly and not let the darkness overcome her. It was easier said than done as she continued to fall apart at the seams.

 

* * *

 

            General Leia Organa had a lot on her plate as of the recent events happening around D’Qar. Over a month ago she was in contact with someone she had never expected to hear from again. Her own flesh in blood, the Commander of the First Order. Her son, whom was conflicted with the light and dark, and his own place in the galaxy. That same son who had fallen so far into that darkness that she feared he’d never emerge from.

            Then, Ashlyn happened. Leia could always sense Kylo Ren across the galaxy, wherever he was. That mother-son bond was something not so easily broken. While she couldn’t get a sense of exactly where he was or what he had been feeling, she **_did_** get a sense of the internal conflict and shift within him. Something was pulling him up from the darkness and bringing him back to the light. She had no idea what that something could have been until the fateful day when Kylo Ren appeared to her in a panic. No, it wasn’t Kylo Ren. It was her son, Ben Solo, reaching out to her. He needed her help and had no other place to turn to. He needed his mother.

            Leia was more than happy to assist, granted, that lingering fear of this being a trap never left her mind as the arrangement was made. To her relief, it hadn’t been. However, what waited for her inside the transport unit was something else. A girl; lost in a whirlwind of conflict. She had never seen a grey user before. The concept of one always seemed like a myth; an old ghost story to give a place to those within the struggle. Yet, the moment the tides changed and this girl began to suffer, Leia realized that grey wasn’t too impossible any longer.

            Now, she had another problem on her hands. Ashlyn was dangerously out of control in her current state. Grey users didn’t drastically shift sides like she had, it was easy for the darkness to talk hold of her and rip her to pieces. Leia wanted nothing more than to tell her the truth, help bring Ashlyn back to the light. Yet, there was that fear that it would do more harm than good, as per her son’s warning.

           Luckily, a different hero came to her aid then. Poe Dameron had taken it upon himself to pull Ashlyn out of the darkness and be the beacon of light to get her there. He was exactly what she needed then, even if she was unwilling to accept it. She was going to need all the help she could get. Unfortunately, Leia didn’t have much time to give all her effort to this cause. The First Order was still on their doorstep, the Republic was doing something shady, and everything was a mess. She could only pray that their last hope, Luke Skywalker, could find his way home. Everything would be much easier if he were around.  

 

* * *

                      

            Poe Dameron realized fairly quickly that the only way to get Ashlyn out of her room was to give her something to fix. She had a knack for it; a gift in taking whatever broken thing he gave her and creating something new from it. Little did Poe know it was her coping mechanism. The harder Ashlyn worked, the more likely she was able to push out any regrettable thoughts. So every day for the following week, Poe would give Ashlyn something to do; from something small to potentially major. It didn’t matter, it kept her busy and Ash was slowly coming out of her shell. At least, when it came to Poe Dameron and his funny little droid, BB-8.

            She kept denying him dinner in the mess hall; she wasn’t ready for such a commitment to a nice gesture…. Or exposure to the rest of the base. Her resolve still shaky. Opening up and trusting again was not something Ashlyn could comprehend right now… or maybe even ever. While she couldn’t find any thoughts of the nearby habitants on D’Qar to have any malicious intent toward her; she was still uneasy. She also hated that Poe had such good intentions. Of course, he did. He was the _hero_ as she so flatly stated. What did that make her in everyone’s eyes then? The villain by association.

            Poe noticed a change in Ashlyn towards the end of the week. She began to carry her lightsaber around again. At first, he thought it was a cause for alarm. Then he realized, it was an extension of her own being. The fact that she did bring it around again showed she was getting comfortable. Or rather as comfortable as anyone in her predicament could.

            She was becoming less and less hostile as each day went and by the end of her first month on the base, she was leaving her room more and more. Granted, it was mostly Poe’s doing.

            Leia tried to reach out to Ashlyn and help bring back the light she was so dangerously losing. Some days were better than others; most of the bad days were times that Leia wanted to give Ashlyn the truth about everything. She was viciously wedged between a rock and hard place. She was at least thankful that Poe Dameron, after such a rocky beginning, had taken it upon himself to help the girl. He was chosen as her Commander for a reason, after all.

            Poe and Ashlyn were outside again today, this time he brought to her a broken stairlift. He was running out of things for her to fix, it showed. Yet, Ashlyn didn’t truly mind. “What is your favorite starship to have ever worked on?”

            Ash thought for a moment as she turned the wrench tighter around a lug nut on the tire of the stairlift. “I once got to work on a Chir’daki.”

            “No way!” Poe exclaimed; not believing her. “You did not get your hands on a Deathseed.”

            Ash scoffed. “Believe it, hero.” She mused dryly. “To be fair, it wasn’t in its original state. A lot of parts and pieces were replaced by parts outside of the typical things you normally find in one. But, it was in the shop for a while.”

            “I can only imagine how ugly it looked.” Poe marveled with a chuckle.

“Oh, it was awful.” Ash joined his excitement. “It flew so well though. Hardly any issues.” As quickly as her excitement came, it was gone. Ash reeled it in and returned her focus to the stairlift.

            Poe inhaled sharply, watching her retract into herself again. “I know it’s not my place, and I’m hoping this doesn’t backfire but, whatever it is; you can talk to me about it.” Poe reminded her sincerely. “I won’t even say a word when you do, I’ll stay quiet if you just need to get it out.” He explained. “I just want to help.”

            Ash stopped working on the stairlift; her expression blank as she looked at Poe. He knew he screwed up, he could just tell. His good intentions backfiring right in front of him as he waited for Ash to freak out or run. She didn’t. Instead, she took in his panic. For the first time in awhile, she used the Force in a deeper sense. She used it to feel Poe Dameron’s intentions without delving too deep into his mind. At first, the shadow overcame her. Using as much willpower within her, she forced the darkness out and channeled as much light as she could muster. He meant it, every word. He was looking out for her best interest, to help bring her back to the light, even if he didn’t understand what that meant.

            “I’m sorry, I overstepped.” Poe stammered.

“Want to go to the mess hall?” Ash asked suddenly, watching all the color drain from Poe’s cheeks only to return after the shock wore off.

            Poe looked to BB-8; a victorious expression on his face that held no malice or condescending nature, but more of a _Holy crap we did it, we got Ashlyn to be a person again_ way. “Hear that buddy? She wants to hang out with us!” To which Ash rolled her eyes at. Poe didn’t take any chances in allowing Ashlyn to back out and insisted they head to the mess hall right away. He knew she was making progress, albeit very **_slow_** progress.

 

* * *

           

           

            “So, Ashlyn--” Poe began as the two sat in the mess hall. “I can call you that? Or do you prefer First Order?” He was kidding, of course.

            “Ash is fine.” She reminded him flatly, looking down at the tray of food in front of her. The room was huge and no one really seemed to pay any attention to the obvious misfit in the room. Unlike StarKiller, no one really had anything malicious to say or think. That was almost a relief to the girl.

            Poe tried to start another conversation, anything to get the girl talking. “Do you need to train or something with the Force? Or is it just something that happens naturally?”

            “I need to train to become stronger.” Ash explained with some disinterest.

“Practice makes perfect, I guess.” Poe said with a nod. “What do you need to do to train? Lift weights or something? Do some puzzles?” He was trying to make her laugh.

            It worked just enough where Ashlyn smiled at his ridiculous question. “Not exactly. I need to focus and connect with the world around me. Sure, practicing combat and the physical aspect is helpful too.”

            “You have a daily routine for it, I assume.” Poe asked.

Ash sighed heavily at that. “I’ve been avoiding it.” She admitted.

            “Why’s that?” His heart was in the right place in asking, however, Ashlyn wasn’t ready for that.

            “I’d rather pretend it doesn’t exist within me anymore. I don’t want to know where my place in all of this is. I want to go back to being simply Ashlyn Novafall.” That feeling of dread and anxiety came back. In her mind, if she shut out the Force, maybe it wouldn’t hurt as bad. Maybe she could go back to the simple things. He had told her once that she couldn’t be just Ashlyn Novafall anymore, her purpose was important. But maybe he was lying about that too. Ash became consumed in her thoughts that she almost didn’t hear BB-8 beep.

            “I know, buddy.” Poe agreed. “She is sad; it’s probably us. I don’t think she likes us very much.” BB-8 blipped sadly.

            Ash’s eyes went wide as she paid attention once more. “I didn’t say that.” She tried to not offend the droid.

            “So, you **_do_** like us?” Poe exclaimed excitedly; BB-8 beeping just as feverently.

Ash sighed. “You’re impossible, you know that?” As the sentence escaped her lips, Ash felt remorse. The last time she said… it was about **_him_**. Her heart began to ache all over again.

            Poe noticed, as did the droid. “Hey, I was only kidding.” He explained, now in a panic of his own. “I didn’t mean to offend you.”

            “You didn’t.” Ash said quickly. “Look, thanks for this.” She motioned to her tray and the mess hall. “But I have to go.”

            Poe’s expression dropped. “Are you sure? You can stay, we can talk about something else.”

            “I’m fine!” Ash snapped as she stood up from her seat across from Poe; she looked like she had something else to say, an apology maybe? Ultimately, she chose not to as she turned and left the mess hall. The weight from the dark side pulling down on her, dragging her further and further down the rabbit hole. While Poe decided to give her space, BB-8 was determined to help.

            The BB unit followed Ashlyn towards her room, chirping as he did. Ash sighed at his comment. “I told you, I’m fine.” His beeping didn’t believe her. “What did I mean by pretending the Force doesn’t exist?” She asked, receiving a confirming blip. “Because it’s caused nothing but trouble. It’s ruined my life; if I don’t use it and let it die maybe it’ll go away.” BB-8 beeped once more, Ash couldn’t help it. The immediate and sudden pull to a darkness she wasn’t aware was in her. “You and Poe need to stop, okay? Just stop!” She shouted at the droid. “I want to be left alone, I don’t want your help, it’s unwarranted. I don’t want you around, get it through your thick, metal head.” The anger coursed through her body; the weight of the dark pulling her down deeper and deeper as she turned away from the droid and stormed to her room. Ashlyn Novafall was sinking.

* * *

  


            Her chest clenched tighter as she entered her room, but not before punching the door when it closed. She wanted to be left alone, she wanted to suffer in silence. Ash put her back against the cold, metal door and slid down to the floor. Her head resting on her knees as she tried to find some balance within her. She felt only darkness. She knew it was there; tempting and taunting her. In her darkest moment, Ashlyn was ready to give up.

            Without training, she had no way of fighting against the dark side. The Force didn’t want that. The Force had plans for the girl, and the Force wasn’t going to give up without a war. Ash felt it when she realized she was no longer alone in the room. She lifted her head quickly, blood rushing from the sudden movement. In front of her was a man she had never seen before. He was tall with shaggy hair, a scar over his right eye, and a charming, yet sympathetic smile on his lips as he looked down at her. The weird part about it, even though he was glowing blue, Ashlyn didn’t feel alarmed. This seemed normal; comforting. Either that, or she had completely lost it. She was leaning more towards the latter.

            “A grey user, this is interesting.” He stated.

Ash scoffed. “I’m not grey. I’m not anything.” Who was she trying to convince here?

            “You and I both know that’s not true.”

She did. She knew who she was supposed to be, or rather what the Force expected her to be. However, she wasn’t quite there yet. She was struggling to bring herself back, struggling to fight for her own sanity. She didn’t have it in her anymore; the fight to return to the grey side of things. At least, it felt like she didn’t. Ash’s voice trembled slightly. “Are you real, or am I going crazy?”

            “That’s a normal response when someone sees a ghost, but I am actually here. Don’t worry.”

            Ash made a face. “I can see ghosts now? What’s not to worry about?”

He chuckled. “The Force likes to send us out when things are going really, really bad. And things are really, really bad.” Ash’s frown didn’t soften at that. “I’m here to tell you it’s going to be alright.”

            “Who are you to tell me that?” Ash didn’t believe him, she couldn’t. “You think by saying ‘it’s okay’ is going to just magically make it all stop?”

“No, but I understand what you’re feeling as someone who had the same struggle you have now. While I wasn’t necessarily grey, I was dragged into darkness. It’s not over, you’re not meant to be in that darkness. The Force knows it, and I think you do too.”

            “I don’t want this anymore.” Ash said sincerely, the hurt and pain coming out in her voice. “It’s too painful; I hate feeling everything.”

            “But you _do_ have this life, Ashlyn. You have something special, you have something worth fighting for.”

            “And what is that?”

He smiled. “I can’t give you all the answers. You need to figure some of them out for yourself. I’m only here to help you along the way.”

            “Talking in riddles is not helpful at all.” Ash groaned.

“The less you focus and the less you use the Force to bring yourself back, the more the dark will win. You are going to bring balance to this war; to this power struggle--” The way he talked about the struggle, she thought of Kylo Ren. “Find balance. Find yourself again. The people here, they’ll help you do that. Once you’re strong enough, and you will be, you’ll know what you need to do.”

            The Force was dropping the answers right on her lap. It had something for her; it knew something about her that Ashlyn didn’t even know about herself. She had a purpose, she was important for so many reasons. She couldn’t give in now. As hard as it was to move on, the ghost was right, she had to fight. While she didn’t understand what she was fighting for, something in her that had been there all along told her as much. She was a fighter, she was going to pull through. She just needed to accept that. “You never answered me.” Ash quietly informed him, as the weight of it all sank in. “Who are you?”

            His mischievous smirk came to view and Ashlyn could have sworn she knew him. He was so familiar to her. “You can call me Anakin.”

            Ash nodded, the name unfamiliar but it felt like she had known him all along. “What if I can’t do what is needed of me? What if I keep drowning in the darkness.”

            “You’ve had the light all along; just remember what it is and pull yourself back.” Anakin began to fade then, Ashlyn’s face contorted to one of panic as she quickly got to her feet, rushing to where the ghost had been.

            “Don’t go!” She reached out to the ghost, unsure if it really made a difference or not that she had. “I still need you.”

“I’ll be here to guide you, don’t worry.” Anakin said truthfully. “When you’re ready, you’ll know how to contact me.” He was gone.

Ash stood completely still, unsure of everything that had just come to pass. The Force had a plan for her and she had strayed so far from it. Yet, Anakin had been right. She was not meant for darkness and she was certain she would never be fully light. She was grey and she was going to fight her way out and accomplish her purpose… whatever the hell that was.

 

* * *

 

_She was staring at a bookcase; it looked familiar but Ash couldn’t quite place why or what the significance of it was. The bookcase was pretty normal; nothing really stood out about it except that it was full. The books ranged from thin to absurdly thick; in alphabetical order it seemed. Each book different colors; some old and worn and some brand new. However, one book in particular did stand out. It was a dark maroon colored book with a gold trim. Something about this book called to her like it wanted to be held; a need to be read and seen. As she reached out for it, she felt herself being pulled to the waking world._

 

* * *

 

            Ash woke with no fanfare; she simply woke from her dream. A Force vision, something she hadn’t really had in the last month. Not since her immediate and chaotic departure from StarKiller. The Force was unrelenting in its means to get her back on track. Ash decided to humor it then. Besides, she was certain seeing ghosts wasn’t exactly normal. It was better to listen and obey the Force for now.

           She also felt something else that morning; guilt. She felt guilty over how she snapped at Poe and BB-8. They were only trying to help, she realized that now. She began to realize a lot of things as the veil of darkness became somewhat easier to see through. She was aware now, more aware than she had been over her dire need to return to grey status she clung to dearly and she’d be damned if anyone got in her way. Even the dark Force User thousands of light years away.

            Ash dressed for the day and thought of a million apologies in her brain that she could say to the droid and the pilot. Although none of them seemed worthy enough in her mind. With a defeated sigh, she grabbed her saber and attached it to her belt and went for the door. As the door slid opened, she was greeted by the shocked face of Poe Dameron, mere seconds before he knocked. “Oh, uh…” He began. “Hey, Ash.” Ash looked down to see BB-8 next to him; they both had come. “I just came to apolo--”

           “I’m sorry.” She abruptly interrupted him, making Poe’s jaw fall slack in shock. “To both of you. I’m sorry for how I’ve been this past month. You’re both are only trying to help and I wasn’t ready just yet to take it.” She explained. “I’m ready now. It’s time to bring myself back to the right side of things.”

            Poe blinked a few times, trying to process her apology as quickly as possible. He hadn’t been expecting that. In fact, he expected the opposite. He expected her to freak out and shut down again. This was a welcomed surprise. “That’s great to hear, Ash. The General will be happy to hear it too.”

            “I also want to talk to her.” Ash admitted. “Privately, if I can.” Poe was a tad skeptical. “She’s the only one on this base who has some semblance of understanding with the Force.”

            Poe nodded. “You’re right. I can get you some time with her. I’m sure she’ll be happy to speak with you.”

Ash smiled, appreciative of his commitment to helping her. She then crouched down to face BB-8. She forced an apologetic smile, nervous that she had really offended her first friend on this base. “Hey… I’m sorry. If there’s anyone I should be grateful to, it’s you. You’ve been so kind to me and I’m sorry for how I treated you.” BB-8 beeped excitedly. “You got it, buddy. If I can get the parts, we’ll get you some sweet upgrades. It’s the least I can do.” The chirp said it all as Ash and Poe laughed.

           Ash stood up again, the smile on her face was something Poe never thought he’d see; she was happy. At least, as happy as she could have been in that moment. It was the progress he had been hoping for and in that moment, he knew Ashlyn Novafall was going to be okay. Maybe not right now, but someday she would be.

 


	34. New Tricks and Self Discovery

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ash learns she can do something she probably shouldn't while also maybe finally finding herself in the process

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I feel like it's Christmas, and even though I'm sick, I needed to give us a Christmas miracle or at least something happy so... Merry Christmas!

 

* * *

 

           Ash attempted to start slow in rebuilding her connection to the Force. She knew she had to grow stronger if she wanted to battle the darkness and not be condemned forever within it. Without a physical teacher, it was easier said than done. She also wanted more than anything to have the Force leave her alone. If it was going to keep throwing things in her path to help her; (i.e. Poe, a droid, Ghosts), perhaps it was time to listen.

           Every morning that week, Ash meditated. Her connection was shaky, but it was a start. At first, she couldn’t find any focus whatsoever, then slowly it began to piece itself back together. However, Ash soon began to feel suffocated in her surroundings, she needed to expand outside of her small living space. Yet, Ash was stubborn and tried anyway to make things work in her tiny apartment. It clearly wasn’t working and the Force was growing impatient.

           Anakin appeared in Ashlyn’s room one morning, noticing the redhead was sleeping still so late in the day. Even after their conversation, there she was. Asleep. The Force had plans for her; for his grandson too, and in order for any of it to take place, she needed to get back on track. With a wave of his hand, the Force Ghost lifted Ashlyn off the safety of her bed and moved her ever so slightly to the edge. With a quick snap of his wrist, Ashlyn dropped to the floor with a thud. She yelped at the sudden drop and immediate contact with the cold floor. Angrily, she sat up, looking around the room to see what happened only to be met with the smirking ghost. “What was that for?” She asked.

            “You need to train.”

Ash frowned. “Right this second?”

            “You’re wasting daylight.” Something in his tone; the sarcasm, was almost familiar. Too familiar. “Have you been meditating?”

            “Daily.” Ash explained dryly. “I’m running out of space though.”

He gave her a pointed look. “Well, let’s find a bigger space.”

            “You expect me to do that, how?”

“Ask the pilot.” Anakin answered as though it were obvious. It should have been. Ashlyn simply didn’t want to ask Poe. However, she didn’t have a choice right now, especially if Anakin was not going to leave her alone.

            She glared at the ghost. “Fine. I’ll talk to Poe.” She unwillingly agreed as she removed herself from the floor. Ash walked over to her clothes, grabbing them and heading for the refresher to change out of her pajamas. Regardless if Anakin would have looked or not, it at least made her feel just a little bit comfortable getting out of sight for a moment.

            Ash dressed for the day; storming out of her refresher. Anakin was nowhere to be found in her room. She sighed with relief before pulling her hair into a ponytail. Perhaps she could get a few more hours of sleep if she did so quietly. As she walked to her bed, a voice rang out in the room. “I’ll drop you again.”

            Ash groaned, grabbing her lightsaber and heading out the door to find the pilot.

 

* * *

 

            Ash wandered into the command center of the base, nodding at the faces that had become familiar since her arrival. Granted, she still didn’t know their names. She also didn’t care to. The darkside of things made her just a little unbearable, now she understood why Hux and Phasma were constantly annoyed with Kylo Ren. _Yeah, let’s not think about him._ She thought to herself as she wandered around the command center, her eyes locking on the familiar pilot in the orange jumper, taking to the General.

            Leia noticed the girl first, smiling warmly as she came closer. Poe turned, seeing Ash and giving her a smile as well. “Morning.” Poe said.

            “General Organa, Commander Dameron.” Ash greeted formally, the two exchanged knowing glances.

            “I think she wants something from us, General.” Poe quipped.

Leia grinned knowingly. “I believe you are right, Commander.” The two teased.

            “Can’t I be professional?” Ash asked sweetly, knowing they saw right through her. Ash grimaced then, realizing she was getting nowhere. “Alright, I’ll be honest. I need a place to train.”

            “Train for what?” Poe asked.

Leia gave him a sharp look before asking Ashlyn the real important question. “You’re going to return to your Force training?” Poe caught on.

            “I think it’ll help me even out.” Ash admitted. “With guidance from the Force, I think it’s important that I restart my training.”

Leia smiled warmly once more; the two ignoring the slight concern from Poe. “I agree. We have a few training rooms you can take.”

            “I don’t mean to sound like a pessimist here.” Poe began. “Ash, no offense, but you’re kind of…” He couldn’t find the right word.

            “Unstable.” Ash answered for him.

“Yeah…” Poe reluctantly agreed. “Those training rooms typically have anywhere from five to ten soldiers at a time. If you got angry--”

            Ash nodded. “Say no more, I get it. I can train in my room.”

“What about the field?” Poe suggestion quickly. “There’s a pretty empty field to the right of the ship yard. You’re still close to the base should you need anything, but far enough to train in private.”

            Ash actually smiled. “Perfect.”

Poe returned the smile. “Great, I’ll show you where it is.” He looked to General Organa, offering an apologetic smile that lacked in sincerity. “I’m sorry, I’ll be back.”

            “Always a gentleman.” Leia quipped, receiving a laugh from Ashlyn.

* * *

 

            “It’s good that you’re training again.” Poe admitted as the two walked towards the shipyard. “It’ll probably help you sort things out.”

 Ash exhaled. “I hope so.”

            “I think it will.” Poe said hopefully. “But once you do, what are your plans? What are you going to do?”

Ash shrugged. “I don’t really have an answer to that.”

            “You have a place here.” Poe offered. “We could use your help.”

            “I think I’m over the whole war thing and taking sides.” Ash admitted. “It hasn’t worked out for me yet.”

“Maybe this time it will.” Poe agreed.

             Ash nodded. “Maybe when I figure everything else out, I’ll have an answer for you.”

Poe smiled. “Hey, if you decide to join us. Great. We won’t make you.” While Ashlyn knew she was an asset to the Resistance, especially with how much she knew about the First Order. She still didn’t have the one thing she was looking for. Purpose. Then again, did she ever have that? Even with her time on StarKiller, did she ever know her place in all of this? Everyone else seemed to know what they were fighting for. Ashlyn? She had no idea. What brought Ashlyn into this, where was her purpose? What was her drive being apart of all of this? Maybe she didn’t have one. Maybe she truly had no allegiance and would continue on that path.

 

* * *

 

            Kylo Ren sat on the couch in his apartment. His mind full of conflict; it had been the entire month without Ash. He hated it. He hated missing her; he hated the feeling of not having her. He hated feeling her slip into darkness without him. She wasn’t meant for darkness, yet he knew she was almost powerless to stop it. She didn’t know how to and he caused that. Ren had learned to block her out of their Force Bond, it wasn’t easy. In fact, it took two weeks to perfect. Luckily for him, she hadn’t realized how to get around that.

            Without the light that Ashlyn brought to his life, he plummeted into the darkness. He welcomed it. What was the point in fighting it anymore? She was gone, she wasn’t there to balance him and pull him into some semblance of sanity. She was gone and he was going to make everyone on this damn base pay for it in some fashion.

            The plan had changed; at least not to anyone’s knowledge but his. They’d still take down Snoke, but now Kylo Ren had his eyes set on a much bigger prize. The plan was to disassemble the First Order and create a new order. But, maybe they still needed a Supreme Leader, and who else but him should take the role? However, with the darkness that surrounded his heart, there really wasn’t much stopping him from turning out to be the same evil that Snoke was. He really didn’t care.

            There was nothing Phasma nor Hux could do except stay the course. To expose Kylo Ren would expose them in return. There was no talking him out of the darkness her sank to; he was so far gone it seemed. All they could do was wait, complete the mission and hope that someday he’d come back. Although, Phasma wouldn’t say it outloud, she feared it impossible without the red haired girl. Now, Hux and Phasma had to secretly find a way to get her back. Yet, how could they do that with a scorned mind reading Force User in their way?

 

* * *

 

              At first, Ash didn’t know what to do or where to start as she stood in the grassy field Poe lead her to. She felt ridiculous. How the heck was she supposed to find herself and find her path back to her balance? Anakin had told her so much and yet nothing at all. Perhaps it was a mistake to listen to a ghost, what if he was wrong?

             “Are you ready to stop doubting me and train?” The familiar voice asked. Ash turned, seeing Anakin now standing in the field with her.

She retorted. “Are you going to stop with the vague responses and help me?”

             He grinned. “Lesson one. You’re trapped in the darkness; surrounded by it. You’re not meant for just darkness.”

Ash sighed in defeat. “Then how do I get out of it?”

            “Patience.” Anakin replied. “It won’t be easy. You need to find your balance again.”

“And if I can’t?”

            His grin turned more sympathetic. “The Force has a plan for you; however, you need to get there yourself. Have faith.”

“If the Force has a plan for me, then why didn’t it warn me on how easy it is to slip to the darkside?” Ash asked. “I gave up; it won. If the Force didn’t want that, why didn’t it stop me?”

            “The Force always knows what the dark and light will do. They’re predictable in their actions; it always leads to one or the other. It’s in their nature. You?” He explained. “You’re a gamble. The Force never knows for certain where you’ll end up. Only you can keep that balance when you let the Force guide you.” He nodded to the ground. “Now focus and let’s meditate.”

             With a frustrated groan, Ash plopped down on the grass. She looked around curiously, wondering if anyone had seen her talking to a ghost; or if they could even see the ghost at all. Luckily, no one was around and Ash began to notice everything else around her; different starships taking off and landing every so often. She grew used to the sounds of their engines; the way they took off. The sound of the breeze gently caressing the grass around her, blowing it ever so slightly. Nearby aviary creatures, chirping. She inhaled deeply through her nostrils and closed her eyes.

_Focus, Ashlyn._ She heard Anakin’s voice in her mind. _Find the balance…_

At first, nothing happened. She sat in darkness for what felt like an eternity until everything happened at once. Silence, a deafening silence overtook her. She then began to do something she hadn’t done since her arrival on D’Qar, she began to feel _everything_. Light, dark, peace; the balance. It was all there, it was sitting there within her reach. All she had to do was reach out and grab it. It wasn’t that simple. There was something else there… No. Ashlyn realized. There was **_someone_** there. She was reaching out through the Force, clawing her way through.

            She saw the room. The oh-so-very-familiar room. The same room she had slept in on a nightly basis for months. **_His_** room. She looked around, finding it seemingly empty. How did she get here? Was she even really there or was the Force showing her something?

            She wasn’t the only one asking that question as the familiar dark voice spoke. “How?”

Ash quickly turned, he didn’t look angry. No, he looked afraid. He looked like he had seen a ghost.

            Her heart was breaking all over again as she looked at him. She could feel the darkness within her pulling her resolve back to the deepest and foulest corners of the dark side. It soon became hard to breathe; hard to concentrate. Before she could say anything, Ash was ripped out of that existence and brought back to the field. Her eyes snapping open; her chest rising rapidly as her lungs worked overtime.

            He wasn’t there. He was still on StarKiller and she was here. Yet, she saw him, she was there with him. “What the hell was that?” She asked angrily, looking to the Force Ghost that was no longer with her. Seeing Kylo Ren again only reminded her of how lost she truly felt. She was lost without him, she was lost sitting in this field alone, she was just utterly and mindlessly lost. What was the point of any of this? She knew she had to fight, but for what? What was Ashlyn Novafall fight for? Once again, Ashlyn found herself with more questions than answers and she was growing very, **_very_** tired of it.

 

* * *

 

             He was livid. Of all things Ashlyn could have taught herself, it had to be this? He had felt the strange pull of darkness; then the light. The unique mix of uncertainty she brought in her wake. He couldn’t believe what he was seeing. Kylo Ren had let a grey Force User on her own to discover things and in doing so, he realized that Ashlyn had sank into the very darkness he tried to keep her from. He had hope, however. When he felt the balance upon her arrival; he knew if anyone could fight it, it was her. But the doubt still remained, without a teacher, Ashlyn was a time bomb waiting to go off.

            He wasn’t prepared for how strong the Force Bond had been between them. How easily the Force made it for either one to contact the other. It wanted them together; for the greater good of the universe. He wasn’t having that. No matter how hard he tried to keep her out; make her feel as though the connection was no longer there, she still fought against it. Now, he needed to work even harder to keep her out.

 

* * *

 

            Ashlyn was frustrated. The want and need to fight back against the darkness was strong, yet without any merit. She had nothing to fight for; nothing to motivate her. Seeing Kylo Ren only proved that. Seeing him struck something within her, but not the need to fight back. Being part of the First Order or the Resistance, neither one gave her that spark. What was she fighting for. Without a sense of purpose; she knew she could never pull herself back. Anakin was all but helpful, the Force as well, in guiding her to that. “What is the point to any of this?!” She shouted in her room, receiving nothing in return. Little did she know, the answer was there all along; she just needed to see it and the Force would give it to her.

 

            _She was standing in front of a small and horribly familiar kitchenette. It took a moment to place where she was, the image clicking in her mind as she realized she was in the hut on Maridun. Her heart raced in her chest, although she knew this was a dream, she was more than afraid to see what the Force was showing her. “Oh good, you’re finally awake.” Ash turned sharply to see the man in black. He was grinning as he looked at her. Yet, something in his smile was different. It held no hidden motivation or qualm. It held peace in darkness. She felt **balance**. Something else Ash noticed on his face, a scar. A rather long scar on the right side of his face. It looked as though it had healed **years** ago. “Everything okay, starshine?” He asked with concern, walking into the hut and over to her._

_“I’m just tired.” She lied; knowing anything she felt now didn’t matter. He wasn’t actually there. He was just a projection of what the Force was trying to show her._

_His grin turned mischievous; a familiar image to Ashlyn. “Well, after last night, I’m not surprised.” His arms snaked around her back, pulling her to his chest and holding her._

_Ash couldn’t help but smile at his remark. It felt good to be in his arms again, but deep in her mind she felt this entire thing had been displaced. Kylo Ren could never feel so balanced; so unconflicted. “Kylo--”_

_He snorted. “You haven’t called me that in a while.”_

_Ash pulled back, looking up at him with more than just confusion on her face. “I-- what?” Her eyes searching for something in his face, anything to give him away. Then, it locked on something else odd. There was more to the hut than she remembered, an extension where the living room was. Another room? “When did this place get so big?”_

_“Okay, starshine. You’re starting to worry me. Are you sure you’re okay?” He asked, chuckling awkwardly._

_Ash shook her head. “I’m sorry.” She tried to distract the man in black. “I just feel so…”_

_“Like you’re seeing something for the first time?” Kylo Ren asked._

_She let out an airy laugh. “Yeah.”_

_He shrugged, smiling. “Well, when you’re ready come outside. We have something to show you.” He said, kissing the top of her head lovingly before leaving the hut._

_It clicked in her head. **‘We?’** she asked herself. The odd wording only left her in confusion as she walked to the door of the hut to see what he had been talking about. _

_Her heart stopped in her chest; her breath hitched in her lungs. Kylo Ren stood in the field next to a smaller boy. The boy was a splitting image of Kylo; dark hair and honey orb eyes. Smiling and carefree as he ran around the tall giant. Kylo was beaming with pride as he got the child’s attention, pointing over to where Ashlyn stood and saying something she couldn’t here._

_The child; beaming, ran towards Ashlyn. His arms outstretched for her. On instinct, Ashlyn bent down and wrapped him up in her arms. It felt right, it felt more than right. This child was hers and she knew it just by the way he felt in her arms. Tears streaming down her cheeks as she held him. This child was of the Force, a child of light and dark; perfectly balanced. The child of grey and darkness._

 

            Ash woke from her dream, sitting up in the darkened room. Tears streaming down her cheeks as she tried to hold onto the feeling of the child hugging her. She knew she wasn’t alone in the room. “There’s a child.” She said; looking over at Anakin whom was standing across the room. “We had a child and he’s perfect; he’s perfect with the Force, he balanced in both light and dark and--”

            “He’s chosen.” Anakin admitted. “He will not be the only one to bring balance to the Force, but he’s one of them. After a long line of failure and uncertainty as to who would bring balance. It was never one person; it was many. Children born of dark and light, and even grey. Your child would be one of them.”

            “He’d bring balance to Kylo Ren.” Ash said. “He’d bring him back from the dark.”

“He could.” Anakin reminded her. “Remember, not everything is set in stone.”

            Ash shook her head. “No, but I know what I have to do.” A smile appeared on her face as she wiped the stray tears that had fallen. “I’ve seen what could be. It has to be. I’m going to save Kylo Ren.” Her eyes pleading now. “I know you can’t give me a definite answer, but please. I’m begging you, Anakin. How do I begin. Where do I start?”

            Anakin caved, knowing the Force wouldn’t be happy. But even he had a stake in this, that was his grandson and this woman was going to bring him back. Of course, he’d help. “Talk to Leia. Help her, but be cautious. While the Resistance are the path to light, there still is darkness hidden in the shadows.”

            In that moment, Ash found the spark that would ignite the revolution within her own heart. She was going to save Kylo Ren and she would start with Leia Organa.

 


	35. Property of Ben Solo

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ash learns to let things go only to find more things to hold onto.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wrote this chapter to be two chapters... but then realized I might not get to post between now and after new years. So, if that's the case, have this long chapter! You deserve it and I love you guys. 
> 
> Thank you so much for your kind words and well wishes!

* * *

 

Captain Phasma and General Hux often met in secret; not so much as to be sneaky, but for the greater good of their overall mission. However, this time, they met to discuss the ever faltering sanity of Kylo Ren. Without Ashlyn, Kylo Ren was cruel without cause. While the two had expected as much from Kylo Ren, being from the darkness and pulling from it, they hadn’t expected such an extreme drop into it. It was beginning to scare them. It seemed like every day Hux was having to stop the Commander from murdering another subordinate for looking at him the wrong way; or having to clean up the mess after the fact.

“Has our Commander left his quarters today?” Hux asked, trying to keep any tone of concern from his voice as he scrolled through the latest information from StarKiller.

“No one’s died yet, so probably not.” Phasma replied dryly. “We need to do something.”

Hux’s brow quirked ever-so-slightly; his eyes still fixated on his datapad. “And what would you have me do, Phasma?”

She knew he was avoiding her, specifically about Kylo Ren. “If we don’t do something soon, we could have another Snoke on our hands.”

Hux sighed, tossing the datapad on his desk as he unwillingly looked at Phasma now. The concern on her face only matching the concern he felt deep down. “I ask again, what would you have me do?”

“Let’s find her.” Phasma suggested. “Find her, relocate her somewhere close enough that Ren can sneak away; if only to even him out for a while.”

Hux frowned. “You want to hide their love affair.”

“We’ve done it before.”

He pursed his lips; Phasma noticed a vein began to pulse in his forehead out of sheer frustration. They were both feeling it. “Even if this was something plausible, he would never allow it. He’s convinced this is the best thing for Ashlyn. She’s safe. She’ll be better off.”

“But is she?” Phasma countered. “You two were so quick to remove Ashlyn from the equation, without ever stopping to think what she wanted. Yes, Snoke would have her killed. But, we could have worked around this. We could have done something more.”

“Could we?”

Phasma frowned now. “Yes. You boys are so quick to have such finite answers, you never once stopped to ask yourselves what the consequence of those actions could be.”

She wasn’t wrong. “We didn’t have the luxury of time. Kylo Ren was faced with a decision; we should all be happy it wasn’t the choice Snoke made.” Phasma looked as though she wanted to say something more, to argue his point. He wouldn’t have it. “We must make do with what we have now. This is where we have been lead by the choices that were made. We must learn to deal with these choices and their consequences.”

“Even if those choices come back to haunt us.” Phasma said somewhat accusingly. Hux matched her glare; their relationship had been strained this past month. It only seemed to be getting worse the more Kylo Ren drowned.

* * *

 

Leia Organa was always a strong force to be reckoned with; a fact she didn’t relish in or boast about… nor did she try to hide either. She was strong, clever, beautiful in her years and wise beyond all of that. She held this aura that could not be matched; a strength that devoured even the bravest of men with but a wave of her hand. Yet, in that strength was not the need for conquering or power. Her strength came from helping others and bringing justice to the galaxy. She spoke for those who had no voice; within her came compassion. Something most of the galaxy lacked these days.

So, it was no wonder when General Organa sat in her office, her eyes deadlocked on the hologram of Republic superiors, she had something to say. Yet, she would bite her tongue and listen until the time came to fight. This was nothing, she had many a fight during her time as Senator before. However, history did prove to repeat itself. And now, it was doing its due diligence.

A well-dressed man sat at the focal point of the meeting. A delegate from the Hosnian Prime district that was no more corrupt than the rest of them, yet still had his fair share in having his hand in the pot. “In order to compete with the First Order, we must militarize in their similar fashion.” He explained; his voice smooth like velvet. It matched his smug demeanor. “I say we take the offer from the arms dealers; bulk up on our supplies.”

Leia Organa did not fight on the moon on Endor, battle the Storm Troopers and Empire to promote the freedoms of the Galactic order, just to hear a man promote war profiteering. “Kind Senator Rhys.” Leia began, her smile sarcastic yet vicious. “I did not become the General to the Resistance to create bigger pockets for those who make weapons and sell them to not just us, but the First Order as well. We are only asking for a compromising situation. With such detail that these… profiteers would have, who’s to say they won’t be sold to the man with the larger coin purse to invest in secrets.” She did not take too kindly to the corruption within the Republic then, and even more so now. With the new faces turning up each and every day, their faces changing from wide-eyed young politicians with hopes and dreams to make a change, to ones influenced by greed. This was not the New Republic she had sought out to create so long ago. Even if they had stripped her title of Senator, she was still one hell of a politician in her day. One that would help return the Republic to its former glory.

“With all due respect, General Organa.” Senator Rhys began. A sentence Leia hated hearing. Whenever anyone began a sentence in such a way, it always meant the exact opposite. “We do not win wars with just hope.”

“Nor with corruption.” She combated. “We should keep our hands out of the profiteering business at all costs. It will only sink our beloved Republic further into the depth of greed and fortune. Politics is not about either of those things, good Senator. It is about creating a safe and just future for the people of the Galaxy. Not boost those with much to gain from weaponry.”

There was a long pause between the holograms; Leia could only assume they had muted her to discuss something amongst themselves more privately before Senator Rhys spoke once more. “We will be in touch, General.”

The transmission ended and General Organa was alone in her office once more. She inhaled deeply, holding her breath for a beat or two before releasing an exasperated sigh. Things in the New Republic were not going as they had intended. The ease into corruption was all too tempting for those in power. She knew not all of the delegates were this way. However, those in power had their foot in the door to something dangerous. Something that could change the tides into the favor of the First Order. If these Senators could be bought by war profiteers, who’s to say they couldn’t be bought by one of the wealthiest organizations out there? The First Order.

With that, a knock on her office door brought her out of her thoughts. “Come in.” Her voice rang through her office. Within a few seconds, the door was opening and in walked the rogue red haired girl she had taken in. “Ashlyn.” Leia smiled. “It’s good to see you.”

Ash smiled thoughtfully. “I had asked Poe if we could setup a time to meet, you and I. I know you’ve been really busy but, I thought--”

Leia gestured to the vacant chair across from her. “I have a few moments now, if you’d like.” Ash took the opportunity and sat down quickly. “How are things, dear?”

Ash couldn’t hide her smile. “I think I’ve figured it out.” She said. “There was this part of me I never understood; it seemed like this other existence knew what I was meant to do, but I didn’t. It scared me; feeling like my life was being planned out for me. I now know that’s not the case. Nothing is set in stone. What I’ve seen…” Ash explained. “I want to fight for it. I want to fight for that future. But, I need help.”

“How can I help?” Leia asked with interest.

“I’m not sure.” Ash replied. “I need to bring myself back to the light. Back to a balance I once had between the darkness and light. The Force guided me to you, and that you’d be part of that process. However, I don’t know how.”

Leia nodded. “Well, let’s start slow. What is it that you’re fighting for?”

“I know the First Order are not the good guys.” Ash accepted that fact. “But, I believe that there are some who could still be swayed.” Leia’s heart fluttered in her chest as she tried to keep calm on the outside. “Kylo Ren is a name that’s feared among everyone on this base. I’ve heard as much through everyone’s thoughts; their feelings on knowing I worked so closely with him. Yet, you’ve never flinched once when I mentioned him.”

Leia’s lips were a thin line, her expression unreadable. “Do you mean to tell me that Kylo Ren can be swayed back to the light?”

Ash frowned. “Back?”

Leia slipped in her words; she quickly regained her composure. She wasn’t a politician for no reason, she had a great poker face. “Not everyone begins their path in the darkness. Some are dragged to it.” Leia explained, realizing she was beginning to feel something from the girl across from her. Panic and paranoia. Ash was starting to reach into her mind. Leia decided it was best to give her something. “He trained in the light with my brother Luke Skywalker.”

Whatever she said, she saw the recognition in Ashlyn’s face and almost as immediately as the invasion on her mind came, it left. “Your brother is Luke Skywalker?”

Leia nodded. “I suppose as a Force User yourself, you’d know of him as well.”

“Actually, I know nothing of him. Only what little was told to me.”

“Kylo Ren mentioned him?”

Ash bit her lip, now was the battle before her. Did she give up the information she held, or keep it safe? Would that keep Kylo Ren safe in the long run or ruin him? Yet, there it was again. That pestering feeling in the back of her head telling her it was okay to talk to Leia, it was okay to tell her. “Not exactly.”

Leia gave up a little more information, knowing Ashlyn had something she was hiding. “My brother has been missing for quite some time now. If we could find him and bring him back to the Resistance, we could change the course of this war. He’s strong with the Force, he could even help train you.”

That was tempting information. Perhaps with another Force User on her side, it could help bring Kylo Ren back. “I’m being torn apart.” Ash confided in Leia. “All I can feel is this weight of darkness pulling me down and I’m powerless to find my way back. I have my purpose, but I don’t know how to get there.”

“I wish there was more that I could do.” She meant that. “Luke would be the only one I know of who could understand what you’re feeling. He had gone through something similar, he fought the temptation of the dark side and prevailed as a Master Jedi.”

“I thought the Jedi were gone?” Kylo Ren had told her that once. That there were no longer clear cut sides, but just being that balanced on the light and dark side of things.

             Leia smiled. “Not as long as there’s hope.”

There it was again; hope. Leia, along with the rest of the Resistance believed in it. They believed in a tomorrow and would never stop fighting for it. Something in that concept alone gave Ash the will to keep fighting too. Maybe Anakin was right in her finding peace here? “They’re looking for him too--” Ash said quickly. “The First Order. They’re looking for Luke.”

Leia hesitated, as though she had a feeling all along that that was always their plan. It made sense in her eyes. Her son would want to search for Luke. “Then we’re are running out of time to find him. Thank you for your honesty, Ashlyn.”

She had mixed feelings upon telling Leia about Kylo Ren’s plan. Granted, she didn’t know too much about it. Something in her felt that perhaps if she told Leia, then maybe she’d feel a tug towards the light again. That didn’t happen and Ashlyn was only met with disappointment in her decision.

* * *

 

             Poe was appreciative that Ashlyn was at least trying to pull through. She was stronger than she realized and Poe was there to witness it firsthand. She still struggled with the toxicity of the dark side; the inner battle that pulled at her being. But there was progress and that was all anyone could ask for.

What surprised him the most was her sudden cooperation in telling Leia the First Order’s plan. It wasn’t an entire plan, but it was enough to get everyone up in arms about their search for the missing Luke Skywalker.

So, that evening, when Poe Dameron sat in Leia’s office, the two expressed their concerns and hope for what was to come. “What if she’s lying?”

Leia mused at his doubt. “Do you believe she is?”

“I’d like to think she’s becoming one of us.” Poe admitted.

Leia smiled. “Ashlyn will never be Resistance, nor will she ever be the First Order. She is her own being.”

Poe frowned. “Yeah but--”

“Poe, when I tell you her allegiance is neither side, which does not mean she will betray us either. She will do the right thing, she has found her sense of purpose. Right now we need to focus on finding and protecting Luke Skywalker.” Leia explained promisingly.

Poe pursed his lips, considering that outcome. “If she was willing to betray the First Order, then she could betray us.”

“You don’t really believe that.” Leia said knowingly. “You have as much faith in her as I do.”

“But you said so yourself, there is darkness in her heart.”

“There is.” Leia agreed to an extent. “But there is also light. And you know that I am a firm believer that anyone can be swayed back to the light; even when delving into the darkest of regions in their heart.”

Poe’s doubt was replaced with his own stellar smile as he thought about the state of Ashlyn Novafall. Sure, things weren’t were they needed to be, but Leia had a point. He didn’t need to be a Force User to know that Ashlyn had light inside her. “You’re right, General. If anyone can fight for it, it’s her.” Leia was relieved that he too believed in that sentiment. “But we have bigger fish to fry over this revelation with Luke. That just adds to the pile of problems we’re facing. Did we get any leads on the Republic arms trade as well?”

Leia sighed, frustration in her eyes as he answered the man. “I still have trusted allies looking into the weapons deals; if the Republic is up to something shady, we will know soon enough. As for Luke, that needs to be our top priority right now. The Republic will have to wait.”

“But if they’re taking part in dealing weapons to our enemies like we believe they are--”

“Once again, I ask that you trust me on this.” Leia pleaded. Although unhappy about it, Poe Dameron silently agreed. What more could he do? He’d continue to trust Leia and pray that she wasn’t wrong about the importance of Luke Skywalker, waiting on the Republic, and helping Ashlyn fight for the light.

* * *

 

Ash stood in her room, staring at the wall in front of her. Her nerves getting the best of her as she debated her next move. “Are you sure you want to do this?” Anakin asked from behind her.

She wasn’t, but she had to be. “I need to see if I can do it again. If I can reach out through the Force to him.”

“You’re channeling too much of the dark side when you do.” Anakin warned her. “You could continue to unbalance yourself.”

“Then you’ll just have to trust that I can bring myself back.” A cocky answer, but one she believed in.

Anakin couldn’t hide the smirk at her spunk. “And if you manage to do it and see him again, what then? What do you plan to accomplish by doing this?”

“I don’t know.” Ash explained. “It’s something I have to do, whether it’s the dark side or light pushing me to do it. I need to.”

Anakin nodded. “Then do it.”

With his permission, Ash inhaled deeply; finding control over her breathing. She took the moment to close her eyes and build back up her focus and concentration. When she opened her eyes. She realized she was in the debriefing room on StarKiller. Hux, Phasma and a very, very angry looking Kylo Ren sat in the room. Ash was standing in the corner, her eyes locking with Kylo Ren’s as he stared back at her. She looked around, noticing Hux and Phasma saying nothing of her appearance. Then, it clicked. “They can’t see me, can they?” She asked in wonder. “Only you can.”

He visibly stiffened, his mind wandering a mile a minute as he debated what he could do in this situation. “We will send troops out to the Ottegans. According to our sources they were said to have the piece of the map last--” Hux paused, noticing Ren was glaring at the empty corner in the room. “Are you even listening?” Phasma, now noticing his stare, turned to look at the corner of the room as well. She looked back at the men, shrugging.

Kylo Ren abruptly stood; stalking to the corner where Ashlyn stood. He grabbed the lightsaber that was attached to his belt and ignited it; hoping to scare the girl enough to send her back. It did. Ashlyn was gone and now Kylo Ren was standing in the corner of the conference room, his laber still hissing in his hands, and a very concerned Phasma and Hux staring at the tense Commander; fearing he had truly lost his goddamn mind.

Ash jumped back, her brain trying to process her surroundings. She looked around nervously, remembering where she was before sighing in relief. It was then, Ashlyn realized she could project herself wherever Kylo Ren was in that moment. Interestingly enough, no one else could see her except for the Force User. This meant one of two things; Ashlyn learned some crazy new Force ability that allowed her to project herself across time and space itself… or their Force Bond hadn’t actually deteriorated like she had believed one month ago. She wasn’t sure if she found comfort in that idea.

That also left the question of what Hux had been speaking of. Did the Ottegans have some knowledge about the map to Skywalker? That couldn’t have been a coincidence. She’d have to tell Leia sooner rather than later. Whether she liked it or not, she was now part of this.

* * *

 

              Kylo Ren stormed into General Hux’s office without knocking or prior notice of his arrival. He looked disheveled and alarmed; something had happened during their earlier meeting. Hux jumped in his seat at the sudden entrance before glaring at the man. “To what do I owe the pleasure--” He stopped his question when he watched as Kylo Ren began looking around the office as though he were searching for someone. It wasn’t until he began to look under Hux’s desk that Hux stopped him. “Okay, what the hell is going on? While you may not care for Phasma and I and our sanity, you’re really starting to concern us. Earlier today, you tried to attack an empty corner of the room. I demand some sort of answer from you to warrant me to not turn you in for a psych evaluation.”

Kylo, satisfied in finding nothing in his search, sat down across from Hux. “She’s projecting.”

Hux made a face. “What now?”

“I don’t know how she figured it out, but she’s projecting herself through the galaxy and showing up in random places.” He was aggravated; on edge even. “It’s impossible.”

            Hux then realized the seriousness of his claims. Had Phasma been right in her concern? Was Kylo Ren losing it or was Ashlyn actually appearing in places? “I think you need some time away.”

“Don’t.” Kylo snapped. “Do not patronize me. I know what I’ve been seeing.”

            “Do you?” Hux countered. “While Ashlyn was strong with the Force, you said so yourself, it just isn’t possible.” The look on Kylo Ren’s face only created an unsettling feeling in the room. “Did she hear anything we were saying?”

Kylo Ren pursed his lips. “I don’t know.”

“You need to find out.”

“How.”

Hux exhaled sharply. “The same way she’s been showing up here.” The two were silent; staring each other down as a thick fog of tension took over the small space. “She’s loyal to us.” Hux tried to give some excuse.

“Is she?”

That sense of dread returned immediately as Hux demanded once more. “Find out.” Kylo Ren stormed out of his office. Ashlyn Novafall was making things more difficult and she wasn’t even physically there.

* * *

 

Days had passed since Ashlyn last projected herself across the galaxy. Her mind was racing a mile a minute as she debated her latest find. She had definitely heard Hux mentioned the Ottegans and a piece of the map. There was no way it could have been a coincidence. Yet, she couldn’t help but feel torn about telling Leia. She didn’t understand why; what loyalty did she have to either side. She was destined to bring Kylo Ren back to the light, but what if telling Leia about what she had heard ruined that? And so, she was torn as she lied on her back in the grassy field; watching x-wings take off and return from the atmosphere as the world began to grow darker to welcome the night.

She wasn’t alone for very long; another presence appeared. At first, she expected it to be Anakin yelling at her for not training. She couldn’t have been more wrong. “You need to stay on your side.” Looking to her left, she saw him standing there. Well, he wasn’t actually standing there. She knew that.

“You have some nerve coming here and tell me what to do.” Okay, so she didn’t really forgive him just yet over what happened. That was evident in her voice. Sure, she was going to save him. That didn’t mean she had to like him right now.

He snorted. “You’re really something, you know that?”

“You seemed to think so once.” She retorted sharply. He still believed so, he wasn’t about to tell her that.

“I’ve been wrong before.” His tone cruel, but necessary in his eyes.

Ash rolled her eyes. “Did you come here for something or just to insult me?”

“Both.” That smugness was something she shamefully missed. “I’m warning you. If you can’t stay on your side, I will come and find you. Don’t make me have to kill you.”

Ash waved him off. “I’m right here, Commander. Come and get me.”

She was infuriating. Even across the galaxy, she knew how to push all of his buttons. By the stars he loved her. Yet, right now, he wanted to stab her. It was quite the confusing emotion. He frowned as his eyes locked on the shaggy haired man, followed by a rolling BB unit, coming closer. “Who’s that?”

Ash sat up then, looking to see who was coming over. She smiled. “Hey Poe.”

Oh, Kylo Ren was not happy. He was very, very unhappy watching her smile at this intruder. “You busy?” Poe asked, beaming. “I have something to show you.”

Ash looked back to her left, looking up at the clearly irritated Kylo Ren then back to Poe. “Not at all.” She said, standing up. “What’s up?”

“I was over at the shipyard and found a really old A-Wing intact. Thought you’d be interested to see it.”

Ash laughed. “An A-wing? Those things are garbage.”

“Hey!” He gawked. “Don’t insult that ship, it’s a nice ship. Do you want to see it or not?”

“I definitely want to see it.” Ash mused as the trio began to walk away, but not before Ash glanced back to the field, finding it empty. Now, she began to feel a little guilty. Whether or not he deserved it.

* * *

 

Ash laughed out loud as she saw the A-wing in person. “Wow, you weren’t kidding!”

Poe snapped playfully. “Don’t make fun of it. This is history right here!”

Ash stifled her laughter. “You’re right; history. So glad we learned from it and upgraded.”

Poe gave his dazzling smile; it also held a mischievous side as Ashlyn would learn. “Want to go for a ride?”

“In that? Does it look like I have a death wish?” Ash gawked.

“C’mon, First Order. Where’s your sense of adventure?” Poe asked teasingly. “I promise, we won’t break atmosphere. Just take a leisurely ride around the planet.” BB-8 chirped. “And BB-8 will come too.”

Ash smiled. “Fine, but if you kill me I’m going to kick your ass.”

“Naturally.” Poe said, helping Ash into the outdated piece of ship. BB-8 came along, as promised and soon they were ready for takeoff.

The A-wing engine sputtered, giving Ash a sense of dread that it was going to explode and they’d both die anyway. Surprisingly, it didn’t as Poe drove the ship away from the base and towards the beautiful and luscious fields. The sun setting in the distance and making for one heck of a view as Ash stared out in wonder.

“Not a bad view, First Order?” Poe teased.

“Not at all, hero.” Ash gave it right back, still staring at the world as it passed them by.

BB-8 blipped from the back of the ship, causing Ash to laugh as Poe feigned hurt. “I am keeping my eyes on the wheel! Jeez, buddy. Give me a break! She’s only a little bit distracting!”

Ash laughed once more; the weight of any darkness within her lifting just enough to take her mind off everything awful in the galaxy even just for a moment.

* * *

 

Kylo Ren destroyed the very recently fixed generator room on the 100’s. It was his go-to place when things were bad. Right now, they were catastrophic and it showed in the destruction he left behind in the room. His shoulders rose and fell rapidly as he stared at the almost unrecognizable console in front of him. His mind unwillingly wandering to the first time he met Ashlyn after destroying this very room. Sometimes, he could still hear her yelling at him in the back of his mind. A thought that usually made him smile; not now.

This is what he wanted, right? For Ashlyn to move on and forget about him. Her overall happiness. Why was it so hard then? Why was this so much harder than he could have ever imagined. It was already nearing two months since he sent her away and each day felt like the day she left all over again.

Hot and angry tears pooled in his eyes; some daring to leave as they poured down his cheeks as Kylo Ren couldn’t control whatever he was feeling in that moment. He did this for her; she was better off without him. Yet, there was still that selfish part of him that wanted to fly off to D’Qar and take Ashlyn back. Repair what had been shattered; run away and start over. He knew he couldn’t do that. He had to remove Snoke from power; he had to replace the ordered Governments of the Galaxy and shape it to the vision that he, Hux and Phasma imagined. Then, once that happened, he’d have control. Maybe then he could bring Ashlyn back. Maybe it wouldn’t be too late.

“Kylo.” Her voice soft; it held no authority as it always had. Just clear and present worry. She watched him fall apart; and while Hux had tried to maintain the strength of their plan… Phasma couldn’t help but feel some sense of nurturing need to comfort Kylo Ren.

Kylo inhaled sharply, wiping the stray tears that had dared to fall. “Get maintenance up here to fix this.” His voice dark; lacking all emotion.

Phasma stood her ground. “I don’t think maintenance can fix this.” She wasn’t talking about the console. “Hux has told me that Ashlyn is projecting herself; that you can see her?” He didn’t dare to move. “I’m sure that’s not easy.” Kylo Ren clenched his fists and the room began to shake. The raw and untamed power channeling through him as he tried his best not to take his lightsaber and it through everything again. Phasma held her ground however, waiting for the potential tantrum to pass. She had seen this a few times before, more so as of late. She wasn’t going to back down now. “It’s okay.”

The room stopped shaking, not much after she said those two works. Phasma believed it would be okay, maybe not now. But soon. Yet, Phasma didn’t hide the fact that in order to get Ren back to ‘okay’, he needed Ashlyn. That was apparent in her thoughts, the same thoughts she didn’t try to hid from Kylo Ren as she felt him peeking around in her mind. After a few more moments of deafening silence, he spoke. “Don’t tell Hux.”

Unsure of which part Kylo Ren didn't want Phasma to mention; she simply agreed to all of it. This was a moment between the two of them. A silent understanding. “Of course.”

* * *

 

Surprisingly, Poe managed to get the trio to their destination without exploding. They had found a large hill that placed them in the perfect location to view the stars above. The two lied on their backs, the grass soft and cool as they stared up at the night sky, BB-8 sitting near them and taking it all in as well. “I never get used to seeing it.” Ash said in amazement as the stars glittered and gleamed above.

“As someone who is always among the stars; I can agree. I’ve never been used to it.” Poe admitted. “You know, my mom used to tell me the stars are what connected us across the galaxy. She’d tell me when I was little whenever she was away to just look up at them. She’s been gone for a while now but, whenever I look up.” He smiled happily. “I still feel her, you know?”

Ash felt her smile fade as she looked over at Poe. “How do you do it?” She asked. “How do you manage to stay so positive after losing someone you love? Do you not hold onto the grief, the guilt?”

“I used to.” Poe admitted. “I used to think if I did something to prevent her from flying that day, she’d still be here. I mean, sure, she’d be here a little longer I guess. But, she fought for the galaxy. She fought to protect everyone she loved, including me.”

Ash thought to her mother and young brother. Even though her mother wouldn’t leave, she knew why. Her brother was sick, he needed help and no one else could give him the help he needed but her. Granted, that took both of them away… she understood it just a little more now. “I lost my mother and brother when I was younger.” Ash explained. “They died during the brain rot outbreak on Coruscant. I blame myself, having seen it happen just days before it came true. I tried to warn them, but it was too late.” Ash sighed. “It’s guilt I don’t think I’ll ever rid myself of.”

“We can hold onto our loved ones forever; like the stars in the sky they’ll always be there with us.” Poe assured her. “But like the stars, we can’t keep them. The more we try, the more we’ll suffer in not being able to. Instead, we should hold onto what they represent and remind ourselves they’re there. Stop trying to hold onto the guilt that isn’t yours to keep. They’re still here with you, just look at the stars.”

Ash looked back up to the sky; the millions and millions of glowing crystals above them, looking down on them. Maybe Poe was onto something? Maybe it was time to let go of that grief. If she was ever going to have the strength to bring Kylo Ren to the light, she couldn’t harness the darkness that came with that guilt. It was time to let go of what she couldn’t control, and focus on what she could still save. “Poe?” He hummed in reply. “Thanks.”

“Hey, you’ve helped me out more than once. If I can say a few nice words to return the favor, then so be it.” Ash chuckled at his comment. “I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t happy that you’re helping us out. Leia told me about the Luke Skywalker thing.”

Ash bit her lip nervously. “I wasn’t sure I wanted to say anything at first. It’s difficult for me; I don’t know where my place in all of this is. If I even have one. I just know what I need to accomplish, but not how to get there. The Resistance seems to have the light I need to get me back on track. I’m just nervous about all of it, am I making the right decision in telling you what I know? Will it hurt those I care about?”

Poe snorted. “The First Order is no one to really care about.”

“That’s not true. Sure, they’ve done awful things, but they’re at war all the same; just like the Resistance. There are people working in the First Order that aren’t entirely bad people, they just work for those who are. They want order, they want to change the way the Galactic Government is run. While their methods are a little uncouth, aren’t we all just searching for a way to better this galaxy?”

Poe shrugged. “I suppose so. It’s just hard to see them as anything but monsters. They’ve formed out of what was left of the Empire.”

“But not everyone is a monster. People can change, it’s those who are unwilling to listen are the problem.”

Poe made a face. “They mustn't be all bad if they sent you here to keep you safe.”

Ash frowned. “Keep me safe?”

“Well, yeah. Why else would they send you here?”

“Trade negotiation.” Ash explained. “You guys captured one of their own, so they traded me for them.”

“We did?”

Something clicked in Ashlyn’s mind then. There were two likely scenarios now, either the Commander of the Resistance didn’t know about the trade deal… or someone, somewhere was lying. Now Ashlyn was determined to figure out who.

* * *

 

After a few weeks of debating what she should do, Ashlyn had finally given the small tidbit about the Ottegans to Poe Dameron; which he promptly gave to the very busy Leia Organa. Someone who Ash was convinced was now avoiding her. Granted, she understood the woman was busy. But, that was not a coincidence. She needed to know what was going on, however, she would be forced to wait. Ashlyn was very impatient.

Poe was also somewhat busy now. The Resistance was attempting to reach out to the Ottegans for any clues or information in regards to the map. When there was no answer to their message, it was now up to Poe to travel with a recon team to see what was happen. He left without much fanfare and now Ashlyn found herself completely alone, except for her new Force Ghost friend.

She did the only thing she could do to pass the time. Train. Anakin still helped Ash; progress was made when Ashlyn began using her lightsaber again. She practiced her connection with the tool; the force flowing through the kyber crystal and through her entire being. She felt stronger, but above all… she felt normal. She knew she could feel the light beginning to shine through. Granted, she still pulled from the dark, it wasn’t easy to escape from. But there was hope.

Ash’s chest rose and fell rapidly as she reclaimed her focus. She had done great work today, Anakin was pleased. You’re doing well.” He praised. “You’re finding balance again.”

Ash retracted the amber blade before sticking the saber to her belt. “I’m feeling great. I feel like I can take on the First Order all by myself.” She was kidding, of course.

“Let’s not get ahead of ourselves here.” Anakin chuckled. “You still have much to learn before you can bring anyone back to the light.”

Ash pursed her lips. “You think I can bring him back?”

“I know you can.”

Ash smiled then, feeling somewhat at peace before she decided it had been a while since she checked in on him. “I think I should project and see what he’s up to.”

“Remember it pulls you to the darkness.” Anakin reminded her.

“I know, I’m confident I can keep myself balanced.” Ash acknowledged. “I just…”

Anakin smirked knowingly. “You miss him.”

Ash laughed nervously. “It’s unhealthy, right? Projecting myself across the galaxy to see him. I know he’s not ready to come to the light. But… something about seeing him. I feel like it helps both of us.”

“Then do it.”

Ash beamed, planting her feet solidly on the ground as she closed her eyes. Maybe the two would be in better spirits after their last encounter.

            Her eyes closing. At first, that empty feeling of nothingness overcame her body. Then it was warm. A nice warmth; somewhat humid actually. Her eyes opened to see water vapor; a thick cloud of it. It took a moment for her to realize exactly where she was, her eyes going wide as she turned to the right. He was staring right back at her from the shower. Luckily for her, the half-wall of the shower covered him.

His hands were frozen in his hair as his jaw fell slack before clenching tightly. His hands untangled from his hair as he was about to say something. Ash beat him to it. “Sorry! Sorry! Sorry!” She shouted, her body jerking backwards as her conscious found its way back to her body.

Ash was back in the field, her breathing labored and not from the strain; but from the embarrassment. Luckily for her, Anakin was gone so no one could see the red burning on her cheeks. However, as she pulled back to this plain of existence, she could have sworn she heard him laughing. 

* * *

 

Anakin had warned Ash that there was a shadow looming over the Resistance. While they were ultimately good, something held them back from being great. She was beginning to sense that and soon began to grow paranoid over giving them information. Especially if Leia was hiding the truth from her. She wanted answers and she was going to get them one way or another.

Ashlyn stormed into Leia’s office, noticing that Leia was not there. With a disgruntled moan, she decided to wait for the General to return. Even if that meant waiting all day. She began to pace the small office, looking around and trying to be nosey without actually touching anything. She figured Leia to be one to notice anything out of place. Besides, war documents didn’t really appeal to her if she did stumble upon them. Instead, her interest soon locked onto the two bookcases in Leia’s office. She made a face at the most right tower. It was familiar to her; too familiar.

“I dreamt about this.” She remembered; a dream from weeks ago popping into her head. One that seemed so insignificant when it happened. Yet, now that sinking feeling was taking over as she walked over to the bookcase. A maroon colored book caught her attention. Something with that book was important, and something inside told her that she was about to learn a truth she wasn’t ready for. Hesitantly, Ash reached forward, taking the maroon book in her hand. The book was nothing special when she held it; it was a book on ships. Or so the writing told her on the front. Yet, something was calling to her. She opened the book, the cover creaking and cracking from having not been used in so long.

There, on the back of the cover, scribbled in familiar handwriting were four words Ashlyn could have never imagined seeing ever again in her life. Her heart thudded in her chest as she stared down at them, her brain reading them over and over again until the words lost meaning altogether.

_ ‘Property of Ben Solo…’ _

 


	36. The Calm Before The Storm

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ash confront Kylo Ren... or rather Ben Solo. The Resistance discovers where the map to Skywalker is, but they're not the only ones. Also, Ash and Kylo realize that maybe this separation was not the best idea...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My plans got canceled and I'd much rather post a chapter anyway because you guys rock. 
> 
> I know, we're in an awful place and y'all want to know when we're going to get our snarky lovebirds back together again! I promise, they'll be seeing each other real soon. But, you're right. I also hate sadness so... I had written a scene in here that I am kind-of proud of? I guess? I really hope you guys like it, but it does involve our friends and perhaps something positive. You'll just have to read!
> 
> As far as an NSFW chapter. There will be some NSFW content, but unfortunately it might not be on this site. The reason I say this is because this story is also posted on another site, because I like double posting I guess and I think it would be fair to everyone is I just kept it in one place. So, when the NSFW part does happen, I'll have it be on my tumblr or something so keep an eye out in the Author notes and what not for when that happens.
> 
> And here's a small spoiler to answer this one burning question, the next chapter is called "The Force Awakens" Again, so sorry for the length of this thing. It's a monster. I'm trying to cut out some scenes to make it a little less wordy.
> 
> And finally. You guys are cool that I'm totally going to mess with the canon right? Because I am. I'm going to tweak things, but not to such a crazy extent. But please, please PLEEEEEEASE don't freak out if things are not 100% exact. If I kept it 100% I might as well just end it and say watch TFA and TLJ and forget everything y'all saw here!

 

 

* * *

 

 Leia had sensed a rather large blip in the serenity of her base. She hadn’t felt that since Ashlyn’s first few weeks on sight. She was prepared for Ashlyn to be in the worst of moods that day. However, what she wasn’t prepared for was walking into her office to meet with the girl, and the horrified expression on her face as she held a familiar maroon book.

            The two stood extremely still, waiting for someone to speak first. It was Ashlyn, who did. “Who is Ben Solo?”

            Leia’s face was stone; it gave away nothing more than it needed to as she pursed her lips. “He is my son.” She answered truthfully.

            The way Leia worded that revelation left Ashlyn somewhat confused. Kylo Ren had told her that Ben Solo was dead and by his own hand. Was Leia unaware of her son’s fate or perhaps she was and refused to accept it? What if Ben Solo wasn't dead? Perhaps he held some answer to this puzzle forming in her head. “Is your son part of the Resistance?”

            Leia nodded to the chairs in her office. “I think we need to have a talk.” Ash cautiously took a seat, staring at Leia intently as she waited for some sort of revelation. She needed answers and Leia was the only one who would willingly give them. “Ben Solo--” She paused, having trouble finding words. This only made Ashlyn assume that perhaps he really was dead. “There is a lot hidden behind the curtain in regards to my life and that of my son’s.” She explained. “I unknowingly was pushing him away and down a path of darkness. Perhaps I had known all along, in some facet, that I was leading him into the arms of evil.”

            “What happened to him?” Ash asked as patiently as she could.

“He became something much darker. I had sent him away, hoping it would help him. It only made things worse.” Leia said, regret washing over her. “I always seemed to be too late when it came to Ben.” Her regret was replaced with a hopeful glance toward Ashlyn. “But perhaps, there’s someone who isn’t. Someone who can bring him back to the light.”

            Ash’s face contorted to an expression of horror as Leia’s words echoed in her head over and over again. _Bring him back to the light_ suddenly sounded unappealing and awful. As though the very thought poisoned waters, set fire to crops, and created its own plague. It suddenly made sense; disgusting and horrifying sense as Ashlyn connected the pieces. How could she have been so blind, so ignorant to a truth that had been staring at her for over seven months and then glaring for another two, long and lonely months? The answer had been there all along.

            Kylo Ren didn’t kill Ben Solo. Kylo Ren **_was_** Ben Solo. The estranged son of Leia Organa and nephew of Luke Skywalker. Her breathing became staggered and uneven as her brain worked overtime, trying to make sense of it all. Her panic only made Leia panic along with her; the unpredictability of Ashlyn Novafall returning. “Ashlyn?” She called out to her calmly.

            She felt as though she was so far away, drifting out into the empty void of space. Everything floating and drifting further away from her. “I--” ash stammered. “I need to go.” She removed herself from the chair and for the second time since her arrival on base, she stormed out of Leia’s office. At least this time, no one was going to get hurt in the process… hopefully.

 

* * *

 

            It was pouring on D’Qar as Ashlyn stormed outside to the field, hoping to find some clarity in it all. She didn’t care that she was now completely soaked as she walked to the empty field. The rain cooling down her heated body as she felt the dark side taking over. She wasn’t alone. “He’s her son.” Her voice rising. “Kylo Ren is her son.” She looked at Anakin, his face unchanging. “You knew, didn’t you?”

            “Yes.” He confirmed.

Ash threw her arms up in the air. “Now what? What do I do now?”

            “You keep on as though nothing has changed.” Anakin informed her.

Ash laughed menacingly. “Nothing has changed?” She spat. “How the hell has nothing changed? Everything has changed! He’s the Commander for the First Order and his mother is the General of the Resistance! Please, tell me how that doesn’t change anything!”

            Anakin frowned. “Does this change your stance on helping him?”

That caught her off guard as she stared at him dumbfounded. Yes, Ashlyn was lied to and yes, Kylo Ren wasn’t exactly who he said he was. But Anakin had a point, did that really change anything? Angrily, Ash groaned. “I’m going to give him a piece of my mind.”

            “I wouldn’t do that--” It was too late, Ashyln was already reaching out to him.

 

* * *

 

            Kylo Ren was lounging on his bed, for once he was somewhat relaxed as he read one of the many books on his shelf. Little did he know, his relaxation would be interrupted. Granted, he should have known. There was no peace and quiet in his life lately. With an exasperated sigh, Kylo Ren could see her out of the corner of his eye. “Oh good, you’re here.” His tone dry. “Even after I specifically asked you not to do this anymore.”

            “Ben Solo.” Her voice sharp like daggers; those two words bringing him out of his smug behavior as he closed the book with a snap. He inhaled sharply through his nostrils and turned on the bed, sitting now with his boots planted firmly on the floor. “Tell me about Ben Solo.” She knew, he knew she knew. Kylo Ren looked her up and down, her body dripping rain water even as a projection. It must have been raining on D’Qar, he surmised. She looked betrayed, hurt even, yet not understanding why she was. She was looking for a truth, an answer that he had never given her. An answer he wasn’t even sure he still knew.

            “He’s gone.” That was still the wrong answer.

“Not from what I understand.” Ash spat back at him. Were they really going to do this now? Yeah, they were going to do this now. “You sent me to your mother. The General of the Resistance.” Her voice trembling as her body shook from anger. “For what? What is the reason for all this?”

            Kylo Ren stood now, his body seeming impossibly bigger now as he walked closer to the girl; his presence towering over her as he looked down at her. “What do you want me to say, Ash? That I lied to you? Betrayed your trust? What can I say to make you feel better?”

            She scoffed. “This isn’t about making me **_feel better_**.”

“Then what? What do you want?”

            Her jaw fell slack; what did she want? Why had she come here? Was there anything for her here except pain and heartache? The comfort she had wanted from him was no longer hers to have. He patiently awaited an answer, and when he got an answer, it was one he wasn’t expecting. He waited for her to yell, to scream, to say she hated him in as many ways possible. No. Instead. She said something worse. “I want to come home.” Her voice small; fragile even. Something in her voice broken, a part of her needing him. By the stars knows he needed her just as much. Both parties knew she didn’t mean StarKiller; she meant him. She wanted to be with him again, whatever that meant in this damn galaxy, in any sense of it.

            Ash should hate him; in his eyes she had every right to. Yet, here they were. The girl still trying to fight her way back. Something dangerous in her eye as she fought; purpose. He was only making matters worse, he wanted her back all the same.

            He closed his eyes; his broad shoulders slumping. “Starshine…” His voice full of defeat and uncertainty. What he wouldn't give to end this charade now; to hold her in his arms again, succumb to her wishes and bring her back to him. Even the great Kylo Ren couldn’t resist comforting her.

            “I’m being torn apart from the inside.” Ash said, her voice cracking. He understood. He just couldn’t put her in that line of danger again. Not now. “I can’t tell what’s me anymore or if it’s you I feel. If I’m just going to keep sinking or if I can ever bring us back to the light.”

            He frowned, his eyes snapping open. “I can’t be brought back to the light.” He said sharply. “I’m not meant for that. You can feel it; you know I’m right.”

            Ash shook her head. “No, I saw it. I saw it in the future, you could balance with either side.”

“I can’t be both.”

            “What’s so wrong about being both?” It was an important question. What was wrong with being from both the light and dark? Ashlyn was; she was grey. Why was that the worst possible choice for him to be?

             Kylo Ren’s body stiffened again. He hated seeing her like this; he was only to blame for making her this way. That nagging feeling of being pulled to the light was happening again and it was happening because of her. He forced a small smile on his face. “You should get inside, you’re going to get sick from the rain.”

            Ash’s lip quivered slightly as she was unable to hold back tears. “Don’t do that… Don’t just change the subject like that.”

 He reached his hand out, gently touching her cheek that was stained with rain and a mix of tears she hadn’t been able to hold back so well. “Go back, Ash.”

            Even though she hadn’t actually been there, she could feel his touch. He could feel her too. He watched slowly her fade before his very eyes, and soon leave all-together. He sighed, looking down to where she had been only to realize she left a puddle in her wake. “Great…” He mumbled, realizing he’d have to clean it. That was a question he didn’t want to answer to any outsider that could stumble upon it.

           

       

* * *

    

 

            Unlike previous times, Anakin was still there when she pulled back to their plane of existence. “Did you find the answers you were looking for?” He asked.

            Ash continued to stand in the rain, looking at Anakin in defeat. “I don’t know.” She answered truthfully. “I thought I felt light; that maybe it was him coming back. What if it’s not, what if he’s right and he can’t be brought back? What if he stays in the darkness?”

            “Then perhaps you need to figure out another way to save him.” Anakin replied.

Ash said nothing as she finally removed herself from the downpour and back into the base, dripping as she sulked to her bedroom.

 

* * *

 

            _Something different invaded her dreams that night. Something pulling from the Light, yet it held no familiarity within it. It a sudden spark of light; an awakening somewhere in the galaxy. And although she could feel it, she couldn’t reach out to it yet. It was still so far off…_

 

* * *

 

            Poe Dameron returned from his mission with the Ottegans empty handed. He was given a lead that a mysterious Jedi Sympathizer Clan was the last to have possession of the missing piece of map. However, that left open too many dead ends for the Resistance. Time was running out as the race to Luke Skywalker was coming closer to an end.

            The base was on high alert for the next two weeks as they desperately searched for a lead to the missing piece. While it kept everyone busy, there was still a fractured relationship between Leia and Ashlyn. Both wanting to come together and ease the tension, however, Ashlyn wasn’t ready for it just yet. Instead, she spent most of her time with BB-8, seeing as he was the least busiest on base besides her Force Ghost friend.

            She unwillingly found herself missing Poe; besides BB-8 he was her only friend on base. He cared about her existence and made the days go by without much fanfare. She needed that, especially after her last encounter with Kylo Ren.

            She didn’t visit him again after their little confrontation. It wasn’t a matter of if she wanted to or not. She just couldn’t bring herself to. He called her ‘starshine’ without much of a second thought, as though it was still his word to say. His tone still holding that same emotion it always had when he called her that; love. While she knew he still felt some semblance of the same feeling for her, even though he tried to tell her otherwise, it didn’t give her the comfort she desired.

           Ash was still on D’Qar, and she still had a lot of work to do. Kylo Ren was part of the First Order and Ash was pulling away from that part of her life and turning to the Resistance. At least, as much as she could turn to them without truly giving in to a definite side. If Kylo Ren didn’t want to return to the light, she was going to need to figure out how to counter that. Perhaps if he had only seen what she had? But, what if it was over? What if in some capacity, it was just over. Ash didn’t know what ‘it’ was; them as a whole, fighting for Kylo Ren to rejoin the light, or something much bigger? What if that fight was over before it even began?

           Ash needed a distraction then and she found that in the little droid friend. Ash and BB-8 got into all sorts of misadventures, such as hiding Poe’s helmet and terrorizing the other pilots of the Resistance by moving, or in Ash’s case, levitating things. Okay, so most of their misadventures were misguided ways to entertain themselves. It wasn’t exactly working to keep them busy.

            BB-8 had a splendid idea to help their shared boredom. He lead Ashlyn that night to the cafeteria, Ash was soon afraid he’d want to poison the food or something. That funny, little droid was quite mischievous as she had come to learn. Instead, and much to her relief, she found something more intriguing. A group of Resistance members ranging from pilots, to communications personnel to higher-ups were sitting around in a circle, cheering and chanting. To her pleasant surprise, they were playing the very familiar game of Sabacc.

            Her heart raced as she watched them from a distance at first; the memory of Sid and her guys on StarKiller were gut wrenching, only to turn into a more happier memory when she realized just how fond of them she had been. She missed them all dearly, growing lost in thought that she jumped when a hand touched her shoulder. “Whoa, easy First Order. Just me.” Poe smirked, looking over at the group playing before back to Ashlyn. “They tend to play after really hard days, today was definitely one of them. You want to join?”

            Ash shook her head. “I don’t want to impose, it’s just nice seeing the comradery.”

Poe looked down at BB-8, giving him a knowing look. “I think she’s just afraid I’ll kick her butt.”

            Ash scoffed. “Please, I learned this game from the best.” Sid flashed in her mind again.

“Then let’s play, see if you really have skill.” Poe dared her. “And no cheating with your Force voodoo stuff!”

            Ash rolled her eyes. “Fine, I’ll play.”

Poe, with his dazzling smile, lead Ashlyn over to the large group of people in the center of the cafeteria. At first, the excitement died down at the newcomers, only to liven up when Poe reassured them. “We have someone who is dying to lose their credits to you guys.” To Ashlyn’s surprise, they cheered and welcomed her.

            Poe managed to clear a spot for the both of them, the two crouching down to play the card game. “I haven’t played in a while.” Ash announced unceremoniously.

            “Perfect!” A nearby Resistance member she had seen a few times around base cheered with excitement. “I like my odds then.”

            The game started with little delay as the cards were handed out to the six players; Poe and Ashlyn making up for two of them. Ash looked at her cards, noting the symbols on them. She was already close to a Pure Sabacc. A lucky hand indeed for herself. Now, she had to lock in the cards she wanted to keep. Sabacc was a very unpredictable game she had come to learn; if a player didn’t lock in the value of their card, the value of it could change as the game went on. However, in locking the card, that could ruin a player’s tactic.

            As the first round began, she noted who amongst the players locked in cards, and who didn’t. Poe had locked in a card that valued a 2 and a 1. Ash smirked, he played too fair. She almost expected that from such a hero.

            Ash only locked in one card, a zero. Poe gave her an unsure look before passing a mocking comment. “Are you **_sure_** you know how to play, First Order?” The name, surprisingly, didn’t bother the group sitting around them. Ash could only wonder if they had learned to accept her existence on base at this point.

            “Ask me that again after I beat you.” Ash quipped, receiving a bunch of ‘Oo’s’ and ‘Ah’s’ from the bystanders and players.

            The next few rounds continued on without much fanfare; players saving their numbers or not making any desperate moves… until the two’s had changed their value to negative and soon the game turned into a bloodbath. Players scrambling to change their hands and make the positive or negative twenty-three. Ash remained calm, her hand was still relevant to what she needed.

            Upon the last turn, she began to notice the subtle change in mood. The other players were losing as they threw down their hands. No one was close to a twenty-three; whomever was closest with win. Poe triumphantly threw down his hand. “Negative twenty-two!” He exclaimed.

            “That’s almost unbeatable!” Another member groaned, realizing he was losing all his credits.

Poe looked at Ash, ready to gloat, however, he noticed the smirk on her lips. He immediately lost all confidence as Ash threw down her hand. “Twenty-three.” She mused, relishing in the victory and knowing it was only possible because of Sid.

            The group cheered, some shouting “Beginner’s luck!”. Sore losers they were. Ash beamed, laughing at Poe’s expression. “I can’t believe I lost.” Poe murmured.

            “Hey, you heard them. Beginner’s luck.” Ash teased. “Let’s play again.”

Poe inhaled sharply. “Yeah, round two. Let’s do this. I have to defend my pride here.”

            A distraction most needed for not just Ash, but the rest of the Resistance crew. Things were growing more and more complicated. They could feel it, the change in the galaxy. Things were shifting and changing. War was on everyone’s lips, yet no one could actually say it. It was only a matter of time before the fighting began. Their ignorance was bliss. An ignorance Ashlyn wanted to live in forever, while the war wasn’t exactly her problem. It distracted her from Kylo Ren for now…

* * *

  


              Leia stood in the communications hub on the Resistance base, staring at the unmoving message receiver. No one had heard from the Ottegans, or any lead in regards to the map. While the spark was there, dimly lit inside her, it was hard to keep that fire going for the rest of the base. They needed Luke; he would change the tides of war and perhaps even help them win. All she needed was such a small part to a bigger piece; the missing part of the map. Granted, they didn’t have the full archival map to begin with. Perhaps, at least, with the piece they could protect Luke until they found the information. Either way, that piece couldn’t end up in the hands of the First Order and knowing her son, he’d stop at nothing to get it.

              “General Organa!” The Mon Calamari, Admiral Ackbar exclaimed. “We received a message from a mysterious signal.”

 With hope and slight resolve, Leia rushed over to Ackbar to see the message. Displayed on the hologram screen was a message. A crypted message, yet Leia knew exactly who it was from. “Lor San Tekka” Leia mused as she read the message. “He’s a Jedi sympathizer; he fought during the Battle of Yavin.” She explained carefully. “I know where the missing piece is.” She realized; that spark of hope slowly returning that would ignite the revolution. “Alert Commander Dameron, he needs to fly to Jakku in the morning.” There was hope and soon, Leia would be reunited with her brother once more.

 

 

* * *

 

              Ash projected in his room again; she was sitting on the couch in his apartment. She realized fairly quickly that she was doing this in her sleep now; a subconscious part of her was sending her across the stars and back to him.

            The door to the refresher behind her opened, a long and exasperated sigh came before the man walked around to the front of the couch wearing only his pants as he used a towel to dry his wet, dark locks. “At least you didn’t join me in the shower again.” He sounded worn out.

            Ash made a face. “I didn’t mean to project this time.” He gave her a pointed look. “Honest. I’m pretty sure I’m asleep.”

            Kylo Ren rolled his eyes in aggravation, not that she had done this, but the fact that she was now subconsciously doing it. Without much fanfare, Kylo Ren plopped down on the couch next to her, and while Ashlyn wasn’t actually physically there, the two could feel each other as if they had been sitting beside one another. “You’re making this a lot harder than I anticipated.” He said truthfully. “Maybe if I was honest about everything from the beginning.”

            Ash frowned. “Knowing you, I don’t think it would have changed much. You made your decision when you sent me away.”

            “Did I?” He was playing games now and Ashlyn was not having it.

“I guess I was the fool here, then again, isn’t everyone in your little game?” Ash said. “It was my mistake for misinterpreting that you had any feelings for me outside of your own selfish ones.”

            For the first time since he sent her away; Kylo Ren didn’t want to be the monster she thought he was. Even if that meant ruining the ruse he had in place to keep her safe. “If I asked you to trust me…” He began, defeat in his tone.

            Ash hesitated, the two looking at each other for the first time in almost two months. “I’d be foolish to listen to you.” She bit her lip. “But some part of me; some part that it hasn’t sunk in yet that you used me… wants to.”

            He stared at her; his gaze tense but not in anger or contempt. Nothing like that. He simply just looked at her, taking her in and memorizing her features. The way her nose would wrinkle when she found something dissatisfactory, the way her eyes sparkled without meaning to whenever she found something she loved. And right now, even though it killed him, they sparkled when she looked at him. In that moment, he’d give it all away for her. He would; but Kylo Ren was scared and although he hid that little detail well, he was scared of how she made him feel. “I wanted to believe I was doing the right thing.” He admitted. “Everything was happening so fast, I didn’t know what to do. The only pieces I had were sending you away and keeping you from coming back. Is it so wrong for me to have some semblance of compassion? A part of me that just wanted to keep you safe?”

            Ash saw it in his eyes then, a glimmer of regret mixed with concern. She slowly began to realize that maybe things weren’t as they appeared to be. “I don’t think there is a right or wrong way anymore. You always said things were never so clear; never simply black and white.”

            “Some things were simple.” Kylo admitted. “Everything else made that simplicity impossible. I dragged you into something darker than I ever planned or wanted for you.”

“You didn’t drag me into anything.” Ash explained. “I willingly and stupidly followed you. Blindly, I might add.”

            He smirked slightly. “Why would anyone ever do that?” He was teasing.

Ash huffed slightly. “Because I loved you. Whether or not I knowingly did when I followed you into the depths of chaos. I wanted to be there for you; with you, in every sense I could be. I think I foolishly just wanted to hold you back from darkness.”

            Kylo Ren’s smirk faded almost immediately at the revelation. Neither one had ever admitted that feeling to one another before; the word ‘love’ was never spoken. Only the feeling was there; they never needed to say it out loud. Hearing it, sent something else through Kylo Ren. “I’m sorry.” He meant it; even though it wasn’t exactly what Ash wanted to hear in that moment. He was sorry, he was sorry for ever hurting her; leaving her alone without so much as an explanation. He knew why he did it; but now he wasn’t so sure it was the right way to do it.

            Ash felt tears stream down her cheek, she didn’t know she could cry in this state. “Me too.” She wasn’t exactly sure what she was apologizing for? Loving him, trying to help him? Being in this room with him? She just felt the need to say it. “Can I ever come back? Do you think there is still some chance that this—“ She laughed nervously. “Whatever **this** is, we could start over?”

             “You can’t come back here.” He faltered. “I need you to take one last leap of faith; trust me. Trust me that I’m doing this for us.” There it was again, that finite feeling of them as a complete unit. Now, he was asking her to trust him once more. Something she wasn’t sure she could do or even should. “I will make this right.” The gamble, she realized, was not in misplacing her trust in him…. But what exactly she was trusting him with. She had no clue what he had been planning, what his scheme was. What was Kylo Ren’s play?

            Ash nodded only once; unsure if she was confirming she would trust him or something else. Either way, he seemed to accept it. She awkwardly wiped the tears that had stained her cheeks before forcing a crooked smile. “So… Ben?” She asked.

            He frowned. “Just because you know, doesn’t mean you get to call me that.”

Ash snorted. “I kind-of like it. It sounds less ridiculous than Kylo Ren. Rolls off the tongue better.”

            Kylo Ren rolled his eyes. “Is this now something you’re going to hold over me?”

She shook her head in earnest. “No, but I am going to hold onto it… If that’s okay?”

            “If it pleases you.”

“It does.” She said, her body relaxing slightly as she looked down at her hands as they rested on her lap. “Why am I projecting?” She asked, chuckling. “I feel like I’m learning new things and they’re absolutely horrifying without you explaining them.”

            He actually grinned. “Perhaps you’re just that desperate to see me again.”

“In your dreams.” She scoffed.

            “I always dream about you.” He was serious. “Especially when I don’t want to. You always manage to appear in some capacity.” The two Force Users stared at one another again, neither one moving or speaking. Their eyes memorizing each other’s features as though this would be the last time they saw each other. They knew that wasn’t the case, the Force would never allow it.

            “Well, I guess that just proves you think our relationship is serious.” Ash teased as Ren’s brow quirked upward. “You sent me to meet your mom. Usually that’s a sign for a serious type of relationship.”

            He groaned. “Alright, enough of you. Get out of my apartment.”

Ash smirked, loving and missing these moments with him dearly. He missed them all the same. Their happiness only lasting so long when Ash spoke again. “I’m going to wake up soon… and you won’t be there. I think that’s the hardest part about all of this. Whenever I lost myself or felt completely alone, I always had you. The things we take for granted, I suppose.” Her projection began to fade, she was right, she was waking up.  

             “I’ll see you soon, starshine.” His words falling on deaf ears as Ashlyn faded completely. He was alone once more to face his regrets one last time. Maybe it was time Kylo Ren pushed forward in his plan. Maybe it was time for him to take over the First Order and bring Ashlyn back. He was selfish, but not impulsive. However, love was known to make people do irrational things. Something the two of them would soon find out as the tides of war changed.

 He knew sleep would be impossible, which was unfortunate, considering he was leaving for Jakku in the morning.

 


	37. The Force Awakens

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Poe goes on a mission to find the missing piece of the map to Skywalker, Ashlyn begins to trust Kylo Ren again only to remember she probably shouldn't. Bad stuff happens.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy New Year! 
> 
> You guys rock, so here's a chapter! Also, thank you so much for your comments/reviews, I love reading them so much. You guys make this story what it is so, seriously, thank you so much!

* * *

 

            The base was full of excitement that morning, it seemed as though everyone was running around and in such a hurry. Everyone except Ashlyn. She wandered outside to train as normal that morning, however, she stopped when she noticed Poe was prepping a different X-wing than normal. Concerned, she wandered over to the X-wing, hearing BB-8 beeping warningly as he spotted the red haired girl first. “What’s going on?”

            Poe stopped prepping as he looked up from his toolbox, seeing Ashlyn and offering a weary smile. “I have to go.”

            “Go?” Ash asked. “Go where?”

Poe grabbed a few items from the box and haphazardly tossed them up into the cockpit of the X-wing. “We found the missing piece to Luke Skywalker.” He explained. “I need to retrieve it.”

             She quirked a curious brow. “Just you?”

“It’s a recon mission, get in and get out before the First Order catches on. I’m the best pilot to do that.”

            Ash didn’t like that one bit. The threat that the First Order could be there as well was not something she wanted to hear. “So, this could be dangerous?”

             “Worried about me, First Order?” Poe asked, that dazzling smile adorning his face.

Ash rolled her eyes. “Not a chance, hero.” She teased right back, although, she could feel herself worrying more than she would have liked.

            Poe lost his smile, but only a little bit as he moved forward, wrapping his arm around her and hugging her. “Hey, I’ll be back.”

            Ash hugged him back, the first time she really felt any physical contact since she left StarKiller. “I know…” She said quietly. “I just have abandonment issues, I guess.” She forced a laugh.

            Poe pulled away. “When I get back, and I will come back.” She couldn’t help but smile at his hopeful attitude. “I can kick your butt at Sabacc again.”

            Ash laughed. “If I recall correctly, you didn’t beat me.” She looked over at the BB unit that rolled over and sat next to Poe. “Look out for him, okay?” She requested. “Stars know he can’t look out for himself.”

            Poe chuckled as BB-8 blipped and beeped. “Yeah, yeah. Keep out of trouble, First Order.” He nodded to BB-8. “Let’s go, buddy.” The two left in the X-Wing that was a little less inconspicuous than the black one he typically had. Ash watched as they took off, Poe saluting her before he left the atmosphere. She just had a bad feeling about it overall.

* * *

  


            The base continued to be on high alert, waiting for Poe Dameron’s signal that he had successfully retrieved the map. While everyone knew it wouldn’t be right away, patience was lacking. This was a high sensitivity mission and everyone knew it.

            However, without Poe to keep either one busy, that left more time for Ashlyn to meet with General Organa. She hadn’t spoken to the woman since finding out about Ben Solo, she figured now would be a good time to face that little piece of knowledge. The two sat in Leia’s office, a common meeting place for them as Ash tried not to bombard the woman with questions. “How did Ben Solo become Kylo Ren?”

            “Snoke sought him out after learning about him and his potential. He comes from quite the lineage of Force Users; strong ones.” Leia explained. “His grandfather is Darth Vader; it sent concern to myself and Ben’s father. Of course, it would. So, I sent him to Luke. I believed if anyone could keep him grounded it was him.”

            “I guess it didn’t work out that way?” Ash asked, somewhat disappointedly.

Leia shook her head. “Snoke had too much of a hold on his heart. I believe he will do the right there; it’s hope I’ve held onto for so long. As his mother, I must continue to do so.”

            “I want to be the one to do it.” Ash said, realizing what she said without thinking it through. “I think I can bring him back. I need guidance.”

            “It may also help if you understood some of the history outside of all this.” Leia offered, her eyes glancing to her bookshelf. “Since you helped yourself out to it before, there are many books on that shelf that have a rough history of the last thirty or so years. Take whichever you’d like.”

            “Thank you.” Ash replied sheepishly, ignoring the slight quip in her direction from the General as she continued. “Are we going to have to fight him?”

            Although the concern didn’t reach Leia’s face entirely, her eyes told another story. “I should like to think it will never come to that point.” Always the diplomatic one. “I also understand that you’re still unsure of where you belong; here or there.”

            “I belong in the inbetween; the grey.” Ash explained with care; a small smile appearing on her lips. “I know in my heart I belong with him, but I also know I don’t belong with them… or even here. I belong between it all.”

            Leia understood their struggle, as much as any outsider who knew could. Ash was in love with her son, a part of her son that had thought to have been long gone in her eyes. She also knew something that Ashlyn appeared to be missing; he loved her all the same. She knew it; no one who was too lost in the darkness would have ever done what he did for the girl. There was hope, and that hope rested with Ashlyn. “Take whatever you need to help you understand. I’ll try my best to help when I can. However, with Commander Dameron gone… there is much at stake.”

            Ash nodded. “We should hear from him soon, right?”

“If it all goes according to plan.” Leia confirmed. “The Force will guide him, as it guides you and the rest of us.”

            She frowned. “I’d like to know where it’s guiding me without all this confusion.”

Leia chuckled. “Wouldn’t we all.”

            “How come you never trained in the Force?”

“I did.” Leia answered. “I was Luke’s first apprentice. However, training with the Force and continuing in politics was nearly impossible. It wasn’t much after I became pregnant with Ben anyway. It was just never meant to be.”

            “I wish I had the luxury of deciding if I wanted to train with the Force or not.” Leia gave her a quizzical look as Ash explained further. “Your son is a pain in the ass; when he wants someone to do something, he gets them to do it. And thus my training in the Force.”

            Leia laughed. “I can only imagine.” Ash began to accept just how much she enjoyed Leia’s company. Now that she knew a sliver of the truth; she felt as though she could talk to Leia. Leia held very little back from her; she felt she didn’t need to. Both found comfort in that afternoon, Ash being able to learn and understand more about Kylo Ren and Leia finally being able to talk about the son she missed. There was hope; hope that unfortunately could never last.

 

* * *

 

            Poe was dragged by two storm troopers over to the man in all black with the silver slotted helmet. The shot from his blaster lingering and buzzing in the air as they walked passed. How he could stop a blast mid air was unbelievable. It made sense though; this was the ruthless Kylo Ren. However, he was too late. Poe had sent BB-8 off into the desert with the piece of the map when the attack on Tuanul came. The monster had just killed Lor San Tekka when Poe immediately fired on him. And thus, here they were.

            Poe was thrown down before the masked monster, Kylo leaned down to look at him. “So, who talks first? Do you talk first or do I talk first?” He asked sarcastically.

            Kylo’s glare was unmatched, although Poe couldn’t see it. Ren had an immediate and warranted (although, that could be argued) hatred for the prisoner in front of him. Without much effort, he skimmed the surface of his mind. _The old man gave the map to you…_ he thought to himself. He would have ripped the information right then and there; kill him and be over with it in the most unceremonious way. This waste of life didn’t deserve his attention. But, something else flashed in his mind. **_Ashlyn._** It was then, Kylo Ren decided he was going to make this man’s life hell. What he did to Taka would be nothing compared to what he was going to do to this Resistance scum. “Take him onboard.” The distorted voice snarled.

            The Troopers grabbed Poe once more and began to drag him to the ship. “Sir.” Captain Phasma walked over to Kylo Ren. “The villagers?” She asked for her next set of instructions.

            Kylo Ren was not in a particularly good mood that day, and that man thinking of Ashlyn only made it worse. “Kill them all.” He said with no emotion before storming back to his ship.

            A beat of hesitation came from Phasma as she turned to her troops. “On my command.”

 

The entire village of Tuanul was slaughtered.

* * *

 

_She remembered this moment; in very fine detail and yet still she couldn’t understand how she had missed what it had truly meant. Her last day on StarKiller was not planned, at least in any sense she could fathom. He had stormed into the room, clearly aggravated and unnerved by something. And though he said it was nothing she should worry about, Ashlyn soon learned that Kylo Ren never truly meant it. He never meant a lot of things except the occasional slip of emotion when it came to her._

_That night seemed like any other night; quiet and yet, a hindering and eerie calmness that Ashlyn chose to blatantly ignore. Now looking back on it, she shouldn’t have._

_“I think I want to go back to Maridun.” She explained somewhat absentmindedly as she leaned up against the man with the perfect dark locks. They two had been lounging on the couch, his back pressed against the arm of the piece of furniture as Ashlyn rested up against his chest. He was good to control his heart beats, nothing seemed out of the ordinary inside or out, not that Ashlyn could recall. It was an ordinary day. “I feel like I had better focus there.” She admitted, tilting her head just enough to look up at him._

_He met her gaze, his dark and intense eyes giving nothing and yet everything away. “We could.” Ren agreed. “It may be a while though.”_

_She shrugged. “That’s fine. I know we have a lot going on now.” Without much fanfare, his hand found her red locks and he began to slowly brush through her hair. She relaxed again against his chest, feeling herself growing just a little more tired than she realized. “Kylo?” He hummed in response. “What happens after?”_

_“After what?” He asked._

_“All of this.” She explained just a little more. “When everything changes and a new order comes, what happens then?”_

_Kylo Ren thought for a moment, taking this time to careful cater the answer without giving too much or too little. He promised her he’d stop doing that. “We change the galaxy.” It was a simple answer, but a necessary one. “For the better.”_

_“But who determines that?” She inquired. “Who runs this new galaxy; is it you?”_

_He smirked. “That’d be nice.”_

_Ash groaned. “That would be **awful**.”_

_“How so?”_

_Ash looked up at him again; stars he was attractive. “You’d make up ridiculous rules, like not wearing red on Thursdays or everyone has to hop on one leg for an hour each day.”_

_He rolled his eyes playfully. “Perhaps I could have a rule where everyday Ashlyn Novafall has to clean the toilets in each sector of StarKiller, even the Troopers barracks.”_

_Ash gasped, feigning insult as she sat up. “You’re a cruel and unkind leader.”_

_Kylo Ren grinned wickedly. “Then you shouldn’t question me and how I rule things.”_

_“I’ll start my own uprising.” Ash explained. “Kick you out of power and take over; everyone can get free lunches on Fridays.” He gave her a pointed look. “I’d be the best leader.”_

_Without much warning, Kylo Ren tackled Ashlyn, forcing her onto her back as the two now lied horizontally on the couch. Ash was lost in a fit of giggles as Kylo Ren rested on his elbows, looking down at her. “With such kindness as yours, you’ll never overthrow me.”_

_Ash was still beaming. “Sure I can.” She explained, leaning up to peck his lips. “You’re powerless against me, you know? I can just smile and you’ll give up.”_

_She wasn’t completely right, but she wasn’t exactly wrong either. He hesitated then, looking down at her and searching her face for answered he didn’t have. Ashlyn thought she had overstepped her boundaries with her little joke until he leaned down and kissed her. It was desperation in its finest form and yet Ashlyn was too blind to see it. While, she felt something was different, she couldn’t place it. Then again, perhaps she had always known and was just too stubborn to admit that he could simply send her away. Sure, there were things she didn’t understand then; things she wish she had, but selfishly she just wanted to be happy and she wanted to be happy with him._

_“We should get some sleep.” He said abruptly, pulling her from thought. “We have a busy day tomorrow.”_

_She didn’t try to argue it then, though now she realized she should have. If she had just taken the moment to fight back for an answer. Maybe things would be different. Knowing Kylo Ren, it might not have mattered in the slightest. However, at least she could say she tried._

_The next part, she remembered clearly. How quickly they had gone to bed without ceremony. She lied down next to Kylo Ren like she had done for the previous months and he wrapped his arm around her tightly; like he never wanted to let go. He would and everything would fall apart._

 

            Ash woke up not much after that point in her dream. She felt neither sad nor happy with reliving that moment. However, it only made her realize just how blind she had been to everything around her. The signs had been there that something was indubitably wrong and yet she ignored them without much of a second glance.

            Some part of her wanted to believe in Kylo Ren; that he was actually doing this for them. Whatever was going on would ultimately be for their gain. Perhaps things would be okay and maybe, just maybe, they could reconnect. A moment of hope washed through her being at the possibility that she and Kylo Ren could be reunited soon.

            And almost as immediate as the feeling came; it was gone and soon Ash was brought back to the reality of the base. There was a massive wall of fear that abruptly came over the base, uncertainty… something was wrong and Ash knew it. “Poe…” She quickly got out of bed, got dressed and ran out the door.

* * *

 

            Whispers turned into rumors; fear fueled the base as doubt overtook the once hopeful Resistance. Poe was missing; that was the only known fact. Ash ran as fast as her feet could take her to the communications hub. She felt the distress in the galaxy; unsure if she was feeling Kylo Ren or Poe, or even perhaps the rogue person that had reached out earlier. Either way, she had a bad feeling it was between the two men in her life and that the two had met, which could only end horribly.

            Dodging Resistance members and barely making it without crashing into anyone, Ash ran for the main hub. Leia Organa looked up as the mixed presence of Ashlyn entered the room; a hint of light and dark swirling viciously as she ran over. “General.” Her voice pleading as she tried to catch her breath. “Tell me he’s okay.”

            Leia’s face was stone and ungiving in any information. Her hands grasping the hub as she kept her upper body stiff. She knew she had to keep the spark alive; anything but would send the base into a frenzied panic. “We lost communications with Commander Dameron. We are unsure of his location, if he’s alive or--”

            “Don’t say it.” Ash begged; now the room was beginning to still.

“We will send recon once the immediate First Order threat is gone.” Leia informed her as diplomatically as possible, now speaking to the rest of the group in the hub. “We must treat this as though the First Order has the map. We must continue on through any means necessary to get to Luke Skywalker and stop the First Order. It’s what Poe Dameron would want.”

             The Resistance members immediately snapped into action; they had a job to do. Everyone did. Ashlyn, however, was displeased. “So, we’re just going to let Poe die out there with no plan to rescue him?”

Leia sighed. “We need to wait for a clear passage to investigate what happened on Jakku. I cannot afford to send any more men out there.”

            Ash frowned. “But you can afford to gamble with one man’s life?”

“Poe Dameron is a hero of the Resistance. He knew the repercussion of this mission; he knew what was at stake and without hesitation he did what he thought was best for the Resistance.” Leia explained, her tone harsh, but necessary. She knew Ashlyn was upset, they all were. However, as the General, she had to keep the base going. Even if that meant giving the hard answers no one else wanted to hear.

            Although unsatisfied, Ash sharply turned and exited the communications hub. If Leia wasn’t going to do anything about Poe Dameron, she was. Ash stormed her way to the empty field, her usual go to place to concentrate and practice with the Force. “What are you thinking?” Anakin asked, walking by her side as Ash exited the main base.

            “If I can reach out to Kylo Ren; who’s to say I can’t do the same and reach out to find Poe.”

            Anakin pursed his lips. “And if he’s dead?”

“Then I’ll know.” Ashlyn stated. “Knowing is better than wondering. If he’s not dead, perhaps I can find out where he is and we can rescue him.”

            “Sometimes, knowing is not for the better.” Anakin wisely reminded her. “You could be opening Pandora’s box. What if you don’t even reach him and reach someone else?”

            Ash planted her boots on the ground, standing in the field as she inhaled deeply in an attempt to level her breathing. “And if I do nothing; I’m just as bad as everyone else.” Anakin said nothing more as Ashlyn closed her eyes in an attempt to reach out through the Force to find Poe.

 

* * *

 

            “A pilot.” The distorted voice mocked as Poe finally came to. He was strapped down onto an interrogation chair aboard the Finalizer. He remembered coming on board and realizing just how unprepared the Resistance was for all that the First Order had in their arsenal. Then, almost as immediately as he entered this room, he was out. “Best in the Resistance. I’m ashamed I didn’t find you more accomodating quarters.” Kylo Ren was sitting across from him; ready to end the Resistance scum before him. **_No_**. He was going to have fun with this.

            There was a sick and twisted tone that came through even with the distortion. Yet, Poe was a hero. He would not be shaken by some First Order dog. Even if that dog had a reputation and was currently not on any leash. “I’m not afraid of you.”

            He exhaled, the mask making a hissing noise. “You should be.” His movements sharp as he stood up straight now, towering over the man in the chair. His arm outstretched. Poe began to feel an intense pressure in his mind as his body pulled forward. “The map is with a droid.” Kylo answered boredly. Poe wasn’t as strong minded as he thought; he was no match for Kylo Ren. “A BB-unit.” He’d seen that particular droid before in Ashlyn’s dreams.

            Poe yelled, trying to hold onto the information. It was too late, Kylo Ren got what he wanted. Poe’s body flew back into the chair with a thud. His breathing labored. He knew he was going to die here; he was prepared for it. What brought him down most was knowing he broke his promise to Ash. He thought about that moment, the last time he saw her. He promised her he’d come back; hugging her as he did. That pleasant thought immediately broken up as an intense pain shot through his head. Unable to control it; Poe began to scream. The pain ripping through his entire being.

            There she was, **_his_** redhead, in the mind of this unworthy creature. How **_dare_** he think of her; the audacity of this peon to have her smile come across his mind. A promise? The pilot had promised her that he’d return in one piece. He’d have something to say about that. He’d send him back in a million pieces when he was through.

            Kylo Ren stopped; his arm still outstretched as he turned his head to the what was once an empty part of the interrogation room. Ash had projected there; her face twisting in horror as she looked from the man in black to the man in the chair. Poe’s nose was bleeding now from the sheer force Kylo pushed on him.  Ash’s voice in a panic as she looked back at Kylo. “Don’t do this...”

            Kylo kept looking at her; and although she couldn’t see his face, she had an awful feeling he was enjoying this; smirking even. He only confirmed that when Poe began screaming in pain again. Ash realized, he wasn’t doing this for information or for the First Order. He was torturing Poe because of **_her_**. For the first time in a long time, Kylo Ren saw a familiar look in her eyes. A look he hadn’t seen in so long; not since their first encounter. **_Hate_**. He saw raw and untamable hatred that only grew worse the more Poe Dameron screamed in agony.

            With an aggravated grunt, Kylo snapped his head back in Poe’s direction. With one last thrust, Poe’s body flew back once more against the chair. His breathing labored, his head throbbing. Kylo looked back at Ash; the only exchange between them was a harsh darkness that rivaled one another’s. He watched Ashlyn pull from the darkness; he had done that. He made her do that. Without another word, Kylo Ren turned on his heels and marched out of the interrogation room, leaving Poe Dameron’s fate up in the air as Ashlyn stood there helplessly.

            Two things happened in that moment; Ashlyn was reminded of Kylo Ren’s true nature. But, the even more interesting thing that would help change the course of this war. Ashlyn Novafall finally picked a side. She was going to join the Resistance and stop the First Order; she swore it.

 

            For Poe Dameron, for so many other innocents caught up in this war, and yes; even for Kylo Ren. Just another victim of this awful galaxy and what Snoke had done to him. Ashlyn Novafall was now a Rebel Scum.

 


	38. New Friends

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ash meets some new friends

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was bored and grumpy today and I wanted to do something makes me happy. Which just so happens to be finishing chapters and posting them for you. So... sorry for the sudden chapter and sorry it's filler but there's a crazy scene next chapter (or maybe 2 depending how long it is) that I really, REALLY can't wait for you guys to get to. 
> 
> Anyway. Enjoy.

* * *

 

            She didn’t expect him to be in her room that night. Hell, she didn’t **_want_** to expect him. Had it been hours before, she would have melted right before him. Now, she wanted him to go away and never come back. Yet, here he was. In all his anger and childish glory, standing in the middle of her room and looking utterly pissed off. The two saying nothing at first as Ash stood in the doorway to her room. With one large (and honestly just as pissed off) step, she entered the room. The tension in the room was so thick, it was almost impossible to breathe as the door behind her slid shut.

            “To think--” He started. “I sent you here out of the kindness of my heart; to keep you **_safe_** , and you manage to go off with that pilo--”

“Oh, save it, Ren! Don’t come at me with that _I saved your life_ bullshit.” Ash shouted back at him, startling him ever-so-slightly. “There’s nothing to be jealous of!”

            “You don’t get to tell me what to feel--”

“You tortured a man over nothing!”

             Now, he was fuming. Pure, unadulterated, anger surging through his body. “BECAUSE HE WAS THINKING ABOUT YOU.” As though that made it any better or justified anything he was feeling then. The room shook, the lights flickered. Even across the stars, he was a powerful force to be reckoned with. It showed then. Yet, even in all that anger all that power, Ash saw right through him. A suffering boy who was jealous someone was playing with “his” toys. “You expect me to just share you, like you’re a force of good for everyone. Whether or not his intentions say otherwise. I’m not going to share you.”

             Ash exhaled deeply. “Ben--” The two froze, her eyes going wide. She didn’t exactly mean to call him Ben… it just kind-of slipped out there.

“I’m not going to share you.” He said again, this time a little darker to prove his point. Yet, the fact still remained. He was simply a jealous boy who felt like he was losing his grip on the one thing he had wanted to keep.

            “I’m not asking you to.” Her voice quiet. “Why would I be fighting so hard to come back to you if I didn’t want to be only yours?”

            He hated when she made sense. He also hated feeling weak and by the stars, right now, he felt his whole resolve crumbling. “You’re angry with me.”

            “You’re damn right I am.” Ash snapped. “You didn’t have to kill him.”

“He was going to die all the same.” Kylo waved her off, cruelty in his heart as he didn’t tell her that Poe Dameron was still, in fact, alive. “This is **_war_** , Ash. And you’re on the wrong side of it.”

            Ash frowned as she held her ground; her arms crossing over her chest as she said probably one of the worst things she could have. “Well, who sent me here?”

            She watched his body tense, his fists clenching tightly as his jaw tightened. Hell, if he were actually in the room, she’d be terrified right now. He began to pull himself back and out of the room; back across the stars. Yet, Ash could hear him yell. He was angrily yelling and it ripped right through her being. Even though they were light years apart, she could feel him destroying everything around him. What the hell happened to them?

 

* * *

 

            The next morning, Ash sat up abruptly, her room was dark; the sun hadn’t peaked over the horizon just yet. Her mind was fogged and her focus unclear as a numbing sense overcame her. She couldn’t hear the typical morning noises from the base. Everything was muffled; she was channeling a different plane. But, she wasn’t channeling **_him._** She knew that. She could feel it wasn’t him. This was different. “ _Hello?”_ She heard. An unfamiliar voice was speaking to her, breaking into her existence. “ _Hello?”_ It said again. Ash tried to focus on it, hone in on who was trying to contact her. Yet, there was an overwhelming feeling that whomever was reaching out, didn’t know they were doing it. Almost by accident; maybe fate? Someone was channeling across the stars and to her.

            She was also growing very tired of the Force and it’s consistent attempts to draw out the grey user in her. Ashlyn Novafall was busy; she was now part of the Resistance and needed to prove herself.

            Ash was given a dark brown bomber vest from another Resistance member after she expressed her clear interest in helping them. The vest held the insignia of the Resistance; something she was oddly proud of. For the first time in a long time, she felt like she belonged. She spent as much time possible assisting in fixing and upgrading as many ships and terminals as possible. She was going to have this base running at full capacity.

            Leia appreciated her sudden desire to be part of the Resistance. At first, she was unsure about the burst of devotion from Ashlyn. However, Ash was proving to be sincere in her role.

            She worked hard, day in and day out to assist in any way she could. That also meant checking the engines and priming the Raddus for any immediate evacuations or means of battle. The Raddus was **_huge_** ; and even that didn’t give the ship justice. It was the main hub for all galactic proceeds of the Resistance and rightfully so. The ship was gorgeous and Ashlyn loved working on it.

            The hallways were long and winding, leading from different ports and places that could hold a plethora of ships at any given time. There was a medical bay, a weapons room, a communications hub, and of course, the launch bay with escape pods. Ash was in mechanic heaven as she worked on as many parts of the ship as she could. Today, she wanted to work in the depths of the ship and with the escape pods. In her experience, more ships suffered from malfunctions in their escape pods due to a lack of repairs and maintenance. She was not going to have that happen here.

            Ash delved deep into the depths of the ship and began to work on the fifty escape pods on the left side alone. This was going to take a few days, she realized. Happily though, she accepted that.

            Yet, something peculiar happened on one of those days. Typically, Ash found herself alone; she prefered it that way. However, one of those days, something _different_ happened.

            As Ash recalibrated the spring action of the escape pod door to make for a secure evac, she felt something. No… she felt **_someone_**. It was **_that_** someone again. Ash walked out of the pod, looking around the empty and quiet launch sight. “Hello?” She called out, hearing nothing in return. Perhaps she was paranoid. This was very different and yet so very familiar. “Hello?” She tried again.

            All at once, Ash found herself suddenly unable to hear the engines anymore. They were off in the distance; their hum was numbing. It was as though her hearing all together failed; but then she heard it. “Hello?” A voice she had heard before calling back to her.

            “Is someone there?” Ash asked, seeing nothing but the interior of the ship before her.

“Who are you?” The voice asked, panicked. “Where am I?” The voice called back, it was unmistakingly a girl’s voice. “What is this place?”

            “What place? Where are you?”

“Everything is black; empty. Where are you?” The female voice asked.

            Ash shrugged. “On a ship. I can’t see you.”

There was a pause. “I can’t see you either.”

            “I’m not sure what’s going on.” She answered. “I know I’m not sleeping.”

Ash could sense concern and fear all in one. “I think I am.”

            “Where are you?” Ash asked.

“How do I know I can trust you?”

            She was honest. “You don’t.” Ash said. “But I think you can feel that you can. Because I can sense that I can trust you.” The other person said nothing. “I’m Ash.”

            Ash could feel the strange connection begin to break. “Rey.” She heard, echo ship as Ash began to hear normally again. The weight of their connection breaking all together as the quiet hum returned to the ship. “Rey…” Ash repeated; the name echoing in her head. Something about Rey was different; comforting.

            “There’s been an awakening.” Anakin explained, appearing from thin air and causing Ashlyn to jump. She hated when he did that. “I know you can feel it.”

             “Another user?” Anakin nodded. “She’s scared; unsure of what’s going on.” Ash let out an airy and surprised laugh. “She’s light.” She recognized. That was what was so different and comforting about Rey. She was everything Kylo Ren wasn’t. She was the other side of the scale, the other side of the grey that Ashlyn sat in. The other part of the balance. “I felt it. She has light in her.” Ash was excited now, excited for so many reasons. “I have to go find her.” Ash said. “Bring her here with the Resistance, help her find her way with the Force.”

            “Slow down.” Anakin chuckled. “You don’t even know where she is.”

Ash deflated slightly; he had a point. “She doesn’t know she has the Force within her. I could tell. It’s scary not knowing…”

            “You’ll find her, have faith.”

“I could try reaching out to her again.” Ash suggested.

            Anakin nodded. “You could, but if she isn’t strong with the Force just yet, that may be difficult to do.”

            Ash groaned. “You and your wisdom. It’s really annoying sometimes.”

“Only when it pulls you back from irrational decisions.” Anakin teased.

            Ash rolled her eyes. “Remind me why I keep you around again?”

Anakin shrugged. “I’m the only one able to help you train. Oh, and keep you level headed when things like this arrive.”

            “I don’t **_need_** you.” She lied. “I just like the company.”

“The company of a ghost.”

            Ash playfully stuck her tongue out at him. “Fine, if you’re going to be that way, I’ll find help somewhere else.”

He gave her a pointed look. “And where do you plan to find help?”

             Ash thought for a moment, he had a point. Without Anakin, she was almost at a loss. Well, that wasn’t entirely true. She had Leia. The lightbulb went off in her head, even Anakin could see it as Ash realized she had more help than she originally thought. “Leia has books.” She said. “She has books about the galaxy and the history of the wars. She said I could borrow them, perhaps I should take her up on that offer.”

            “It’s better than constantly talking to a ghost.”

Ash simply laughed.

 

* * *

 

            Kylo Ren was running out of things to destroy on StarKiller. With the news of Poe Dameron escaping thanks to the help of a defective Trooper, he let out his frustrations on one of the only remaining in-tact communication hubs. Poor Lieutenant Mitaka wasn’t even done giving him the bad news when he mentioned that the very same Trooper had escaped Jakku with the droid in question and some girl. At first, Kylo Ren thought he had meant Ashlyn and nearly killed Mitaka on the spot. Then, he realized, no. That wasn’t possible. He knew she was still on D’Qar; she was convinced he killed the pilot anyway. Something else was going on, something much more of a nuisance to Kylo Ren and his plan. That was only confirmed when his presence was requested in the cavern along with Hux.

            Their relationship had been strained lately as well. When they both met at the door to the cavern, Hux didn’t have anything to say to the man in the helmet. The map slipped away from them and now with this new development, things were growing increasingly complicated.

            Silently, they entered the cavern and stood before the Supreme Leader. “It has come to my attention that we are not in possession of the map.” Snoke’s voice low; disapproving in his tone. “What’s worse, the map to Skywalker has been misplaced within a droid.”

            “Supreme Leader, I take full responsibility--” Hux tried.

“General!” Snoke hissed. “I want that map found and delivered to me by sundown, is that clear?” Hux nodded only once before turning and exiting the cavern; leaving Kylo Ren alone. He had work to do. “There has been an awakening. I know you sense it. The Grey user called out to it; the light in the galaxy rising to meet the darkness. Another presence you’ll fail to kill.”

            **_Damn_**. Kylo Ren thought. Of course Snoke knew Ash was alive, he wasn’t stupid. However, he kept that card to his chest; a winning hand to throw down in a moment like this. A moment to exploit Kylo Ren’s weakness. “She escaped.”

           “While I doubt that, Commander. We have a new problem on our hands.” Snoke sneered. “If the Grey User finds the newly awakened Light; we will be outnumbered. The Grey User once again proves to be a dangerous component. I have changed my mind; this weakness of yours, this **_Ashlyn_**.” Something in Kylo Ren spoke out to Snoke then; he realized he absolutely hated the way the deformed creature said her name. It only proved Snoke’s point. “She could prove to be useful still.” He was afraid of that and in his troubled state he only confirmed it to Snoke that she was useful, but in a much more devious way. “I have felt her struggle; her pull to the darkness. Now I see, you provoke her more than she provokes you. Tempt her with the dark side. If Skywalker is brought back, we will need more help within the darkness.”

            “She won’t join us.” Kylo Ren shot down that idea immediately.

“She will for you.” Snoke was confident in that. “I sense it; she will turn for you. But, you will fail if you are not committed to the dark; snuff out the light that is still in you.” Snoke snarled. “The droid was seen on Takodana; escorted by your father.”

            Kylo Ren didn’t flinch. “He means nothing to me.”

“That is how you will defeat the last remaining light within you.” Kylo Ren didn’t need to ask what Snoke meant; he knew. He knew what he had to do. In that selfish capacity of wanting Ashlyn back, and the part of him that needed the darkness for his own personal gain, he knew what he had to do. What he was willing to do for **_power_**.

           

* * *

 

           

                                   

            Ash grabbed roughly five different books from Leia’s office; luckily for her, Leia didn’t mind all too much. Granted, she hadn’t actually been in the room when she took them. Ash wanted to learn as much as she could, perhaps it would give her some insight to this constant battle within the galaxy. She started reading from one of the earliest books she found; a brief history of the Galactic Republic and the corruptions of the senate. The rise to power of Emperor Palpatine and his apprentice, Darth Vader.

            _The overall takeover of the Galactic Republic began with the fall of the Jedi Order. The Order was split apart from the inside due to the corruption and mistrust placed within the Order. While Sheev Palpatine was a Sith Lord hidden amongst the Republic, he managed to sever the ties and bonds between Jedi Knights. The Jedi Council; and all known Jedi, were slain once Palatine gained full control._

            “All the Jedi died?” Ash asked, looking up from the book.

“They were killed during the rise of power.” Anakin explained, expression no real emotion to give him away. “The Jedi Council was corrupt in its own way; it contradicted itself. Hypocrisy was a very large problem within the Order.”

            Ash frowned. “But I thought the Jedi were good?”

“They were glorified to an overwhelming degree. There was always a struggle between good and evil, however, when examined closely, neither side was really all that different.”

            “So why don’t more Force Users practice balancing both sides?”

Anakin shrugged. “It’s a little more complicated than that.”

            “Does this mean I can’t be a Jedi or a Sith if I’m grey?”

“I think you’re beyond titles to define you, Ash. You’re a unique enigma in the system.”

            She pursed her lips. “Thanks, I think?” Her attention returned to the book as she began to read more about a super weapon known as the Death Star. She had heard the bare minimum of the Galactic War and how it came to be. Yet, like everything else, details were always amiss. Ash wanted to learn, she needed to know how things came to be. History always repeats itself and it would continue to do so due to a lack of knowledge. She wasn’t going to be part of another statistic. To her horror, the more she read about the Death Star, the more she realized she had helped build a rather similar piece of destruction. “StarKiller is just another Death Star; I gave the First Order their own super weapon.”

            “And the Rebels overcame it.” Anakin reminded her gently. “Don’t forget that.”

“Yeah, but what if they can’t? Heroes don’t just fall out of the sky to save the day--” There was a knock at her door. Ash felt her heart sink into her stomach.

            “Maybe they do.” Anakin quipped as Ash hesitantly got off her bed and answered the call.

            When the door slid open, she was met with a familiar Resistance member. He had a mix of excitement, shock and awe on his face. His chest rising and falling from running throughout the halls of the Resistance base. “You need to come to the Communication Hub.”

            She didn’t hesitate then as she followed the man to the hub. Something in her told her that Poe was alive. She didn’t know why or how she knew, she just knew that the hero she was thinking about would be there.

            Upon entering the hub, Ash searched frantically throughout the room, her eyes stopping on the familiar orange jumpsuit. It was torn, tattered and dirtied. But she recognized it all the same as the man turned. His face bruised slightly, his lip split. Yet, that didn’t change that dazzling smile he had when he realized she entered the room. “Ash…” He said, rushing over to her.

            Ash ran to him, meeting him halfway as she wrapped her arms around his neck tightly. His arms around her waist as he picked her up, spinning around happily as they embraced. “You’re alive!” She exclaimed, tears streaming down her face as she hugged him.

            He put her down gently; not letting go at first as he hugged her a little long. “I promised you I was coming back.” Finally, the two pulled away. Poe looked at her, noticing the new bomber vest she was wearing. “I like it.” He beamed. “The Resistance suits you.”

            Ash laughed, wiping away any stray tears. “How did you get back here?”

“You wouldn’t believe me if I told you.” Poe explained.

            “It doesn’t matter. You’re alive.” Ash’s voice held relief and also the tiniest hint of regret. Sure, Poe was alive. However, he was tortured because of her. That wasn’t something she could forget so easily. “BB-8?” She asked.

            Poe exhaled as he shrugged; his smile getting lost in concern. “I gave him the map and sent him off. He’s on Jakku somewhere; I have to go back and find him.”

            “You just got back.” Ash argued. “Send someone else; we have just as brave pilots who can go out and look.”

“He’s my buddy, Ash.” Poe countered. “I can’t sit idly by and wait for news that he’s been picked apart by scavengers or worse…”

            “But what if he isn’t even on Jakku anymore?”

“I won’t know until I look.”

            Just then, Admiral Ackbar spoke; interrupting the two in their little debate. “The droid has been spotted on Takodana.”

 Poe and Ash looked at each other before looking over at Leia and the Admiral. “Prep my X-wing, we have to get BB-8.”

            “We’re sending the squadron this time, I’m not taking any chances.” Leia informed him, looking to Ashlyn and seeing the relief on her face.

            “I want to go too.” Ash said, receiving an immediate and resounding ‘No’ from Poe.

“It’s dangerous.”

            Ash scoffed. “I could be of help.”

“If the First Order are there--” Poe tried once more.

            “Then you’ll need me.” Her tone cocky. “I have a lightsaber, I can take care of my own.”

Poe groaned. “Fine, but you’re not taking an X-wing.”

            “She can fly with me, Pilot.” Leia chimed in.

Poe, although unhappy, agreed. There was no fighting against Ashlyn and most certainly not against Leia Organa. The two were some of the most headstrong and stubborn women he had ever had the pleasure of meeting. More importantly, there wasn’t enough time to even try; they had to go rescue BB-8.

 

* * *

 

            Ash had been silent the entire flight to Takodana. Her nerves building up inside her; she hadn’t left D’Qar in almost three months and now here she was, flying inside a transport unit with the General of the Resistance and a few assault soldiers. Everyone was ready for a battle, yet no one said as much. It was a bad omen to do so; it was better to keep everything together. That was, until the droid began speaking. “The success rate of finding the BB unit is 23.7%.” The golden protocol droid said. This was the first time Ash actually had met C-3PO and immediately wanted to deactivate him. He was the only voice in the entire transport unit, and each time he spoke he gave some grave statistic about their failure.

            The X-wing battalion had flown ahead of them to clear the airspace and help with the assault. As the Admiral predicted upon departure, they were probably going to be met with the First Order. He wasn’t wrong and Ash could feel it.

            The transport unit entered the atmosphere and Ashlyn could already feel the pull of darkness on the planet's surface. Kylo Ren was there; she felt him. But there was something else; light. “Rey…” She whispered, recognizing that familiar light.

            In the distance, she could see smoke. Lasers from X-wings and TIE fighters bouncing through the air. Explosions on the ground; a battle was here. One they had just missed, but not by much. The transport unit landing on the now ruined Maz’s castle; a cantina for weary travelers and smugglers all the same. Ash had never been here before, but she had heard of it from those passing through Laynor’s shop.

            Ash was one of the first to exit the transport, mostly to get away from C-3PO. She ignored the random creatures wandering around, displaced from the destruction. She wandered the battlefield in search of any fallen parts she could collect, or if any X-wing’s needed a quick fix before flying back. As much as she wanted to fix something, it was almost a relief that all units had flown back to D’Qar unscathed. She almost lost her friend Poe Dameron once, she wasn’t exactly prepared to go through that again.

            Ash inhaled, the smell of sulfur from the fire and oil from the engines filled the air around her. With a groan, she sat down on a nearby structure that she was certain was a wall at some point. Takodana seemed nice, granted she was currently sitting in it’s ashes right then and there. If it hadn’t been burning, it was probably a nice place to visit.

            She looked up at the sky, trying to clear her thoughts yet only to be met with something much more horrifying. The red streaks that were now brushing across the sky. She knew what they were. She knew and only shame and regret filled her as she stared helplessly at them. They fired the weapon on StarKiller for the first time and it was heading somewhere to cause ultimate destruction.

            Without really thinking it, she knew she had to see it closer. She had to see the guilt first hand and reached out across the stars once more.

           

* * *

 

            He was standing alone, staring out the cockpit window as the red beam of light crossed in front of his ship. The beam was heading for the Republic, it would obliterate everyone and everything in the Hosnian system. He could sense the red haired girl was devastated over it and wasn’t all too surprised to see her suddenly next to him. However, he was surprised that she still chose him for some form of comfort after everything that had happened.

            “They did it.” She said quietly. “It worked.”

“We had one of the best mechanics working on it.” His tone dry. “Of course it worked.”

            Her eyes fixated on the glowing and pulsing light in front of her. “I knew what it was capable of--” She said. “I just never expected…” She couldn’t even finish her thought. The realizing and weight of the situation pulling down on her. This was her fault. All of it. The only thing she could do now was prevent it from happening again. “I’m going to stop you.” Ash insisted. “All of this, I’m going to end it.”

            “I know, starshine.” The sudden bright, yellow light in the distance caused Ashlyn to flinch. Not because of the brightness of the light, but because at that exact moment, the beam hit the Hosnian system and destroyed multiple planets in its wake. The sheer destruction unbearable to watch.

             Kylo Ren wasted no time in wrapping his arm around her and pulling her to his side. She didn’t resist as she hid her head in his side. StarKiller base was her doing; it was her fault and she knew it. While the two were in the worst place possible, they had one thing going for them. She still held hope that she’d stop him and bring him back to the Light. Kylo Ren? Well, Kylo Ren was now convinced that Ashlyn belonged in the darkness with him. A power struggle that would continue as things grew worse. Ashlyn began to disappear next to him, leaving him alone once more with the passed out Light User on board. Luckily for him, the red haired girl didn’t sense it.

 

* * *

 

            The beep was what pulled Ashlyn back to her plain of existence. She knew that beep, and as the rolling BB unit appeared from the woods, she smiled. “BB-8!” Ash exclaimed as the droid rolled over to her excitedly. “You’re alright!” BB-8 beeped. “The First Order attacked Jakku, I know.” Blip. “Poe was captured, but he’s okay. I promise he’s okay!” The droid beeped in relief. “We’ve been looking for you.” He beeped and blipped more. “You have the piece?” Ash asked with disbelief before removing herself from the debris she sat on. “We have to tell the General, come on!” Ash began to run back to the landing sight, the droid following closely behind her.

 

           When Ash returned to the landing sight, she noticed the three new faces among the ones she arrived with. One being a very fuzzy face of a Wookie, one a face she had never seen before, the other a very familiar face that went with the Wookie. “Han Solo.” Her tone somewhat in distaste. Another piece to a puzzle she didn’t realize she had. Solo wasn’t exactly a common name; and now suddenly it made sense why Kylo Ren was so eager to not speak about his parents. One was a government official and the other was a smuggler. By the stars, this family was going to be the death of her, but now wasn’t the time to freak out over it.

             Han wearily smiled. “Hey, you’re Laynor’s mechanic!” He tried to smooth his way out of that one. Even an older Han Solo was still as dashing as ever. “It’s been a while, how’s Laynor doing?”

            Oh yes, Ashlyn had met Han Solo a few times over the course of her apprenticeship at Laynor’s shop. She had heard stories about the man with the Millenium Falcon and his faithful Wookie sidekick. That same smuggler who would go to Laynor’s shop for parts, repairs and tune-ups and not once pay his bill. Granted, he’d **_sometimes_** bring them new parts and oddities from across the galaxy. Yet, that didn’t really put money in Ash’s pocket. Considering she was practically working for free on this man’s ship. In all honesty… she really liked his ship and didn’t mind. However, on days she would go hungry from a lack of credits? Yeah, she would mind quite a bit.

            “Listen, if you see Laynor, you can tell him I have the--”

Ash held up her hand. “Save it. I don’t work for him anymore.”

            Han nodded awkwardly. “So I see.”

Ash looked at the Wookie and gave him a quick nod, he roared a quick greeting that she grinned slightly at. The grin wouldn’t last as Leia brought everyone back to the devastating news. “We have just learned about the weapon on StarKiller Base.”

            The third new face chimed in. “It’s an ion cannon that can project--”

“Refractal rays from Kyber crystals across the galaxy and create a devastating impact on contact.” Ash replied duly before looking at the newcomer. He looked somewhat shocked and just a tad bit concerned at Ashlyn’s knowledge.

            “Ashlyn worked for the First Order before arriving here to assist us.” Leia informed the group. “She also has information on the base. Ash, this is Finn, he used to work for the First Order was well.”

            Ash looked at him, without really controlling herself, she scanned his mind. She saw Poe, she saw that he helped Poe escape; BB-8, a girl. A girl that was a stranger and yet so familiar to her. “A Storm Trooper.” Ash confirmed.

            Finn blinked a few times. “Uh… yeah.”

“She’s also Force Sensitive.” Leia confirmed, trying to keep Finn from freaking out at Ash’s abrupt mind reading.

            Finn suddenly realized who he was talking to. “Kylo Ren’s apprentice.”

Everyone in the immediate party stiffened. Suddenly, Ashlyn realized just how connected they all were. It was awful and yet strangely comforting at the same time. “We can discuss this back and D’Qar.” Leia said. “We must plan our next move.”

            Awkwardly, the group shuffled back to the transport unit and returned to the Resistance base on D’Qar. Some with more questions than they had before.

 


	39. The Assault on StarKiller

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The group runs out of time and needs to attack StarKiller.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so before y'all freak out that the author is on a crazy updating spree and needs to be stopped... I'm currently snowed in and have nothing to do but update. I'm also going to assume/pretend that y'all are snowed in too and need something to keep you busy. So here is a REALLY LONG CHAPTER. 
> 
> Sorry. I'm just in a weird mood today. I'm really grump and angry with work so I'm actually super happy to be home and posting another chapter. Your reviews, love and support honestly just make everything better and will more than likely keep me a little less bored today. So, thank y'all.
> 
> Also, the next chapter has one of my favorite moments in it. Just an... FYI.

* * *

 

Leia Organa and Han Solo hadn’t been in the same room in over a decade. Leia stared at the smuggler while he awkwardly tried to avoid her gaze at all cost. His eyes focusing on a loose string on his jacket. Stars, he reminded her of Ben. They had a similar facial structure and also a very similar way of dealing with things. To avoid them completely. “It’s been a while.” Leia started the conversation with her estranged husband.

            “Nah--” Han tried to play it coolly. “Not too long. It’s good to see you.”

“Maybe not long enough?” Leia was teasing, yet still made Han laugh nervously.

            “So, that girl--” Han began. “She knows Ben…”

Leia’s lips formed a thin line. “You could say that.” Han gave her a look. “He sent her here to keep her safe.” Well, Han wasn’t expecting that. “She’s bringing the light back to him.”

            Han **_really_** wasn’t expecting that. “Leia… what if there isn’t light in him to bring back?” Han was not a good person by any standard. He was a liar, a cheater and a thief; a no good rotten scoundrel and not exactly husband or dad of the year. What made Han Solo different from most bad men, is that he still tried to do the right thing. Even when he failed at a domestic life and failed as a father, the man still loved his wife and son.

            It could be argued that he disappeared often in fear of how Han Solo, the father, would screw everything up for the young Ben Solo and that quite possibly that only made it worse. However, he **_tried_**. He loved his family; but old habits die hard and Han Solo was a man of habit. He cared more than he could ever admit out loud for his wife and child. Now, there was hope that his son could be brought back to the light. While that wasn’t a redeeming factor for all the things Han had done, it wasn’t about being father of the year now. It was about helping his son come back home.

            “There is.” Leia smiled hopefully now. “There’s good in him, I’ve felt it. With Ashlyn here, I can feel our son coming back to us.”

            Han felt something wash over him that he hadn’t felt in so long; relief. He chuckled slightly. “Are we actually having a conversation about our son’s girlfriend? I never thought that we would have something so…”

            “Normal?”

“Right.” He agreed. “How do we help her?”

            “Finn and Ash are currently helping my team with the logistics of StarKiller, we should speak with them in the central hub and figure out what our next move should be.” Leia informed him. “Bring our son home, Han.”

            Han nodded. That was something he could do; something they both wanted and had all the faith in the galaxy that it was possible. It was possible because of Ash. That devilish smirk came to his lips again as he said. “I wasn’t lying though. It is good to see you.”

            Leia rolled her eyes, grinning. “Scoundrel.”

He was still smirking. “Princess.”

 

* * *

 

           

            “Another one of **_you_** running around?” Hux groaned when he heard about the latest prisoner on StarKiller.

Kylo rolled his eyes. “Unlike Ashlyn, this one is actually a threat to us and will be exterminated once I get the information I need.”

            “Pretty sure Ashlyn was been a threat this entire time too.” Hux stated flatly.

“Just to his sanity.” Phasma mentioned in passing. Kylo glared at her from across the room.

              Hux demanded then. “End this sooner rather than later. We have orders to fire the weapon once more.”

Ren raised a brow. “We do?”

              “We found the Resistance base on D’Qar. We are to fire when ready.” Hux watched as Kylo’s face drained of all color; he wasn’t the only one to notice as Phasma visibly stiffened. The horrifying realization washing over the duo. “Ash is on D’Qar, isn’t she?” Kylo Ren said nothing, only confirming their suspicions. Against his better judgment, Hux offered to do the only thing he could do. Buy Ashlyn some time. “I’ll send out an encryption, one the Resistance should be able to intercept. It’ll give them enough time and hopefully get Ash out of there.”

            Phasma frowned. “That could come back to bite us.”

“Would you rather we blow up Ashlyn?” Hux asked sarcastically.

            “Of course not.” The two non-force users exchanging knowing looks. It was already bad enough that Ash and Kylo Ren were not in on the same planet, stars knows how much worse it could be if she died.

             Hux was going to need a very long vacation after everything was said and done. “Ren, take care of the other Force User on base. I will do what I can to give Ash time.” With that, Kylo Ren swiftly exited the room, placing his helmet over his head. He had work to do; and now what’s worse, he had another headache to deal with.

     

* * *

      

            Ash and Finn worked together in bringing the coordinates of StarKiller to the main hub, everyone gathered around to see the hologram of the rather large planet. “I almost forgot how big it is.” Ash mused, looking at the familiar planet.

            “How long were you on StarKiller for?” Finn asked.

“Seven months; started out as freelance and ended up with a permanent job.” She explained. “Not exactly my best choice.”

            Finn practically agreed with her. “But you were also his apprentice.” He didn’t want to say the man’s name, knowing the effect it had on people. “That had to have had some perks.”

            “Another choice I regret.” She felt a little bad then. Yeah, she was really, **_really_** angry with Kylo Ren right now. However, she didn’t actually regret anything between them even though she really wanted to right now. “So, what’s next?” She asked, quickly changing the subject back to the task at hand.

            “Tell us what you know about StarKiller.” Leia’s voice was warm and undemanding.

Everyone sat around with mixed emotions, no one really knew how to handle the threat before them. No one except Finn and Ash. “StarKiller uses the natural resource of the planet called Kyber Crystals to power the base. It’s unstable at times, but when working, it can be a powerful source. The oscillator is where the main reactor is; the same reactor that can harness the energy from nearby suns and project that power to cause a devastating blow.”

            A snarky pilot chimed in. “And you know this how?”

“Because I built it.” Ash replied calmly, holding on to her guilt in some inner capacity and not on the surface. “And now I’m going to destroy it.” Ash nodded to Poe, he controlled the hologram and zoomed in on the oscillator. “Right in the main chamber, there is a weakness. My team and I programmed it that way. Without the shields surrounding the outer building, blowing up the core will shut down the entire system. That includes the base.” Ash felt something different then; a mix of pride to be on the Resistance and helping them as well as a feeling of betrayal to the First Order. No, not to the Order, but to the maintenance crew. To Phasma and to Hux. To Kylo Ren… damn him.

            “How do we shutdown the shields?” Poe asked.

“Leave that to me.” Finn said, he was hiding an ulterior motive, one that no one but Ash could sense. However, when Ash did sense it, she didn’t call him out on it.

            “General Organa!” The Mon Calamari quickly chimed in, panic in his voice. “We’ve intercepted a transmission from the First Order. They’ve found our location and are charging the weapon. Their target is D’Qar.”

            The room became dead silent; a grim and hope crushing silence. Suddenly, this felt real. The weight of their lives now weighing down on Ashlyn as she looked to Poe. Poe, as Black Leader, lead the rebellion once more. “Then we better get moving.” Ash nodded at him. “We’ll cover you, once the shield is down we can penetrate through the oscillator and destroy the weapon once and for all.”

            “How will we get in there?” Finn asked.

“I’ve got you.” Han Solo chimed in. He had more at stake than his face gave away. Sure, their lives were in danger, but so was Leia’s. Her life meant more to him than anyone’s. There was also the promise he made to her about their son. He was going to help bring Ben back and he’d do so with the help from the red haired mechanic.

 

* * *

 

            Rey woke only to find herself restrained. She had come face to face with the monster known as Kylo Ren and now here she was, on some unknown planet and alone. Well, she thought she was until she saw the masked villain across from her. “Where am I?” She asked.

            “You’re my guest.” The distorted voice said.

Rey glared, her fear giving her away. “I’m not a guest to a creature in a mask.”

            He rolled his eyes, why is it no one thought he was human? Perhaps it was due to the glaring fact that he didn’t act like one at times. Swiftly, he removed his mask, revealing the truth. He was human, and he immediately did not care for this scavenger across from him. In fact, it was clear to say the two absolutely abhorred the other.

           “You’ve seen the map.” He said without much emotion. “You’re going to give it to me.”

“I’m not telling you anything.” Rey gritted her teeth.

           He smirked, by the stars were people so helpless. “Sure you will.” He raised his arm; reaching for information. “There’s an island; surrounded by water.” He pulled from her mind as she tried to resist him. “Han Solo--” He said with annoyance. “He’s like a father you never had. He would have disappointed you, trust me.”

            “Get out of my head!” Rey struggled.

Then, there was something else. Something interesting. While Rey hadn’t actually **_seen_** Ash, she was still somehow in the girl’s mind. “And then there’s Ash.” Rey faltered just enough, allowing Kylo Ren more access to her mind. “You feel connected with her; someone else who understands what you’re going through.” He scoffed. “Light? You think she has light in her? If anything, she has more darkness than you could ever imagine--”

            Rey pushed back this time, forcing back the pain in her head. The grasp he had on her; no, she wasn’t going to let him win. The two struggled for a moment, fighting for the upper hand when Rey saw it. “You’re in love with her…” She said almost robotically, throwing Kylo Ren off. “And yet you’re so very afraid you’re losing her.” Rey added. “No, you’re afraid you already have.”

            Kylo Ren let go, causing Rey to jerk backwards. Enraged, he stalked out of the interrogation room. The Supreme Leader had been right, the light that had risen to fight the darkness was becoming just as strong as he was. Darkness would rise and Light would always be there to meet it. Now, he realized, he needed to pull the grey user over to his side sooner rather than later.

 

* * *

 

            Ash sat by herself on the Millenium Falcon, knowing what was being asked of her. She was going to blow up StarKiller and save the Resistance. In doing so, she was going to more-than-likely kill the people she had come to known on StarKiller. She was torn, even though she felt like she shouldn’t be. It was then Ash realized, sure, she was now a Rebel, but she also wasn’t truly one. There was always that uncertainty, that **_grey_** area that Ashlyn lived in. It made things easier and oh-so-very-complicated all at once. “Hey, kid.” Ash looked up, seeing Han Solo with an awkward grin on his face as he nodded to the seat next to her. “Mind if I join you?”

            Ash frowned. “Who’s flying the ship?”

“Chewie.” Han replied. “Believe me, if anyone can fly this thing, it’s him.”

            “I believe it.” Ash moved slightly, making room for the smuggler.

“Listen--” He began as he sat down next to Ash. “I know what you must think of me, and I’m sure knowing what you do about Ben…”

            Ash sighed. “That’s the thing, I don’t know anything about Ben. He is Kylo Ren to me.”

Han nodded. “In some ways… well, probably most of it, it’s my fault he’s turned to the dark side.” Han explained. “I wasn’t there for him when I should have been.”

            “Leia said that Snoke got a hold of him early on.”

“He did.” Han confirmed. “And I wasn’t there to stop it.” Ash felt a twinge of guilt for Han. She didn’t have to see into his thoughts to know of the guilt he felt. He wore that on his face. While she didn’t particularly **_like_** Han Solo, thanks to the crap he pulled with Laynor, she also didn’t hate him. He was a man who wanted to make things right, a man who wanted redemption. “I want to bring him back; have him come home.”

            Ash knew where this was going, she reassured him as much by placing her hand on top of his and giving a gentle squeeze. “We are going to bring him back.” She said. “Something inside tells me as much.”

            Han actually smiled; that glimmer of hope returning in his eyes. Perhaps this could work and maybe Ben Solo could come back. “And listen, I’m sorry about the whole Laynor thing.”

            Ash smirked. “No you’re not.”

“To be fair, he’s kind-of a jerk.” Ash just laughed, the two sharing the light-hearted moment before things could take a turn for the worst. Which, somehow came when Finn walked back to find them.

            Ash offered him a small smile. “How close are we?”

“We’re almost there.” Finn confirmed. “But we need to talk about the plan.”

            Han frowned. “Didn’t we consult on the plan before we left?”

“He’s talking about the part where he doesn’t actually know how to shut down the shields.”

            “What?!” Han asked incredulously, unsure if he had heard her correctly.

Finn put his hands in the pockets of his new jacket courtesy of Poe Dameron. “I wanted to make sure I was on this mission.” Finn explained. “My friend was captured by the First Order.”

            Ash nodded. “Say no more. Luckily for you, I **_do_** know how to shut the shields down.”

“I’ve got a bad feeling about this.” Han said getting up and heading for the cockpit. His sarcastic nature couldn’t handle bad news right now.

            “You knew I was lying?” Finn asked once Han was out of earshot.

“I’ve gotten really good at reading people, it’s something I’ve learned with the Force.” Ash explained. “I can tell when people are lying or hiding something; I can hear their thoughts if I focus hard enough.” Finn looked horrified. “Don’t worry, I don’t pry into minds often unless I need to.”

            “But why didn’t you say anything then if you knew?”

“You thought of Rey.” Ash replied.

            Finn was shocked. “You know Rey?”

Ash laughed slightly. “Not really, no. I’ve just heard her in my thoughts. We’re connected within the Force.”

            Finn frowned. “But Rey isn’t like you.” Ash gave him a look. “I mean, she can’t do what you do.”

            “I know what you mean, but she is. She just doesn’t realize it yet.” Ash explained. “From what I’ve been told, Darkness and Light are always battling together; they try and find dominance with the Force, to control it. It’s in their nature. I’m something of an anomaly, I’m not meant to exist unless it’s to bring balance to those forces. Apparently, the Force thinks they really need to be rebalanced.”

            “And I thought my life was complicated.” Finn joked, causing Ashlyn to laugh.

“You have no idea.” Ash shook her head. “So, let’s go over how to blow up StarKiller.” Finn was eager to learn as Ashlyn explained what to do.

 

* * *

 

            “What did I say about not letting this turn into a problem?!” Hux yelled, throwing his hands in the air in frustration. “The girl escaped and she’s running around this base!”

“Once again, it was the Trooper’s fault.” Kylo glared in Phasma’s direction. “Perhaps we need better training.”

              Phasma returned the look. “Blame me again and I’ll shoot you.”     

Hux groaned. “It doesn’t matter. **_Find_** her.” Ren didn’t take to authoritative figures very well, it showed in his tense demeanor. “You’ll be happy to know that the Resistance received the transmission.”

            “Hopefully Ash takes the warning.” Phasma mumbled from her corner of the room.

“We’ve begun absorbing a nearby star, she’s running out of time if she hasn’t yet.” Hux said.

            Kylo Ren stiffened, he felt it in the back of his mind and slowly creep forward. The Millennium Falcon had come to StarKiller with Han Solo, Chewbacca and the red haired girl. He stood from his seat. “Looks like she’s fine.” Hux frowned in confusion. “She’s here.” Kylo Ren explained flatly.

            Hux glared at him warningly. “Don’t do anything stupid, Ren. We still have that other Force User running around.”

Ren grabbed his helmet. “I want Ashlyn captured and everyone else dead.”

            “And if she won’t come willingly?” Phasma asked skeptically.

“Then fucking stun her.” Kylo Ren snapped as he marched out of the conference room. He was in a royally pissed off mood today and he didn’t have time to deal with Ashlyn and her new ‘Be-The-Hero’ attitude. That was obvious.

            Hux sighed. “This is only going to end poorly.”

“Maybe not.” Phasma tried to remain positive as the datapad in front of Hux buzzed. The two exchanging glances before Hux read the message.

            “And now we have X-Wings.”

“Looks like the Resistance didn’t take too kindly to our warning.” Hux just glared; now he had to stop the attack on StarKiller, the same attack he brought upon himself.

 

* * *

 

            Ash had brought her First Order jumpsuit with her. She stared at it for a long while, longer than she would have liked to admit, before putting it on. She almost didn’t recognize herself in it, it didn’t feel right. However, it didn’t feel wrong either.

            The group had separated, Ash left to run through the freezing cold of StarKiller and entered the base through a side entrance. She knew she could sneak in and not be noticed right away. That was all she needed for her opportunity. However, she also had to worry about Kylo Ren. She knew he was aware of her arrival on sight, so now she had to avoid him at all cost.

            Ash recognized where she entered the base from, it wasn’t too far from the oscillator, however, it was a long enough walk to get caught. Especially since she was passing the maintenance bay. Her heart thudded in her chest as she wandered the halls of StarKiller. They were aware of the incoming X-wing assault, which was obvious the further she went to the oscillator. It was almost deserted… and that scared her.

            ‘ _How about you make this easy and just surrender?’_

‘ _You’d like that, wouldn’t you?’_

_‘You have no idea, beautiful.’_

_‘Aw, you think I’m pretty?’_ Ash entered the very large oscillator room. ‘ _You know I can’t make this easy for you.’_

            ‘ _That’ll only make it even worse for you, Starshine.’_

‘ _Are you threatening me?’_ Ash asked as she gawked at the finished room. They guys had actually done it. She couldn’t believe it. Ash quickly walked over to the main paneling system. She knew she couldn’t shut it off, but she could make the internal explosion all the more devastating. She stared at the paneling, the way it was wired and programmed. This wasn’t something she worked on specifically, this came after her. Now she had to get into the system.

            ‘ _Fine, I’ll come get you.’_

She could hear the TIE fighters and X-wings outside the oscillator room, the battle was beginning. ‘ _I think you might be too busy for that.’_ She knew she was pissing him off; now she was really hoping she wouldn’t run into him. However, it was only a matter of time before he found her. She needed to move quickly.  

            “Ash?” A confused voice called from behind her.

Ash quickly turned, seeing a face she wasn’t expecting, Grim. He had a blaster, aimed for Ashlyn. “Grim…”

            “I have instructions to stun you and bring you in.” Grim said. “They said you’ve been brainwashed by the Resistance; that you need to be stopped.”

Ash raised her hands defensively, she didn’t want to hurt him, they both knew she could. “Are you going to try and stop me?”

            His lips quirked in a smirk as he lowered his gun. “You kidding? I’m relieved it’s you!” Ash laughed as Grim walked over to her, the two embracing. “I knew you weren’t compromised.”

            “Well, I am with the Resistance.” Ash said honestly.

“I know.” The two pulled away from one another. “I assume this is why you’re here?” He asked, gesturing to the room they stood in.

            “Grim, I saw what StarKiller can do. We need to shut it down. You know we do.” Ash carefully explained.

            “That’s why we made a failsafe.” Grim grinned mischievously. “We need to overload it?”

Ash nodded. “I have a team bringing down the shields. Once we overload it, the explosion will take out the entire weapon.”

            Grim walked to the panel and began adjusting the console. “They said you could be dangerous, so we made a **_safety precaution_** on the console, just in case someone tried to sabotage it. We just made it look like we did. The system still acts the same, but the algorithm to pull the energy in is different. It’ll take a few minutes, so give me some time.” He explained. “Max it out?”

            Ash grinned. “Max it out.”

“What happens if Kylo Ren comes down here?” Grim asked in somewhat of a panic. “If he gets to this before it overloads, he could reverse it and ruin everything.”

            Ash inhaled deeply. “Leave him to me. I can keep him busy.”

 

* * *

 

            He knew where she was headed; he knew the danger she was to this base and the operation as a whole. Kylo Ren stalked down hallway after hallway, heading towards the oscillator. Once he captured Ashlyn, he’d feel just a little bit better. He knew she wouldn’t come willingly, just as Phasma had inclined earlier. He was ready to knock her out if he had to.

            There was also the matter of that disgusting scavenger on base. If they found each other before he found either of them, which could prove to be a bigger problem than he was prepared for. Luckily for him, one of them he could track down easier than the other.

            However, much to his surprise, upon turning the corner the red head had also turned that corner. They stood completely still on opposite ends, staring. “Hi, Starshine.” He said first through his mask.

            “Commander.” She replied nervously.

“I said I was coming to get you.”

            “I changed my mind and came to you.” She revealed. Kylo Ren began to slowly walk forward, Ash matching his steps almost exactly until they were standing only a few feet away. “I didn’t know how else to come back here.”

            He scoffed. “You weren’t coming back here for me.”

“Wasn’t I?” She challenged.

            Kylo Ren gave her just as much of a fight as he held out his hand. “Then surrender and come with me.”

Ash didn’t reach forward. “Only if you let my friends go; call of the attack on D’Qar.”

            He frowned under his mask. “Are you **_really_** in a position to make demands?”

“I’m not.” She agreed. “I’m between a rock and a hard place. I know you have the upperhand here. I just want the reassurance that going with you isn’t going to backfire.”

            Kylo Ren took another, rather large, step forward. He was now standing impossibly close to her, looking down at her as he towered above the short girl. “You know I can just take what I want. I can make you want to come with me.”

            She was honest, even if she knew she shouldn’t have been. However, she also knew that Grim was almost done. “You wouldn’t be forcing me. I wanted to come home, didn’t I?” He was about to reach out to touch her, Ash pulled back slightly. “But not right now.”

            “Fine.” The man in the mask growled. “Have it your way.” With the same hand he reached out to her with, he waved it. If she wasn’t going to come willingly, he was going to make her by knocking her out. However, she didn’t even flinch. Nothing happened. Frowning, he waved again. Nothing. Then, it clicked. It all horribly clicked as Ashlyn began to fade before him. “You clever bitch.” He mumbled. She distracted him long enough for Grim to do what he needed. Kylo Ren stormed forward, walking through the fading projection. He was going to grab a barrage of Storm Troopers and kill every last one of them. By the stars, everyone was going to pay. Ashlyn was going to come with him whether she wanted to or not. This was their last stand.

* * *

  
  


             Ash pulled her conscious back to the oscillator room. She blinked a few times, adjusting to the room. She knew Kylo Ren was pissed, she could feel it. She also knew he could tell that her words were true. Her will was faltering; it was only a matter of time before she gave in and went back home to him. A thought she couldn’t get lost in, not right now. Not as Grim finished settling the oscillator to overdrive.

             Grim turned the propulsion knob all the way to the right. “Done.” He mused with accomplishment before looking back at Ash fondly. “I didn’t think I’d ever see you again. After everything that happened here--”

            Ash smiled sadly. “Everything happens for a reason. I’m sorry I didn’t get to say goodbye.” The two hugged again, knowing this could very well be the last time they saw each other. “Take the guys, get out of here.”

            “Don’t be a hero, Ash. Get out of here as soon as you can.” Grim was serious. Ash simply nodded to confirm she heard him, but would she listen?

 

* * *

 

            Ash was joined not much later by Chewie and Han; she was slightly concerned considering they were missing part of the party. “Relax.” Han reassured her. “Big deal and the girl are safe, they’re meeting us here.”

            “You got the shields down?” Ash asked.

“They’re down, but the X-wings are still having trouble breaking into here.” Han explained, Chewie roared. “I’m getting to that part!”

            Ash looked at the two, her eyes wide in shock but her smirk unable to hide. “What about a bag of explosives?”

            Han tossed her a bad with four explosives. “Go plant them, we’re going to blow stuff up.”

“We better hurry, we’re running out of time.” Ash said, noticing how dark it was getting outside. The weapon would be charged soon enough.

            Han began running to the left side of the oscillator. “You two get over there, we’ll meet back here and book it!”

            Chewie and Ash ran to the right, Chewie taking the back area while Ash ran towards the middle. She planted bombs around the area she thought would give the biggest bang. The group littered the room with bombs as best they could.

            Ash stopped, the stalking angry man in black had arrived and he was close. “Crap…” She muttered as she ran back over to Chewbacca before getting caught. “We have to grab Han and go!” She hissed, Chewie roared quietly before the two stopped moving all together.

            “BEN!” A voice echoed. There, at the center of the oscillator was a long bridge. The bridge made it easy for people to pass back and forth from one side to the other. However, two people stood on it now, facing each other.

            “What is he doing?” Ash whispered, Chewbacca roared, shrugging.

Ash and Chewie stared out at the bridge; Chewie noticed the Storm Troopers that positioned themselves along the sides of the room, ready to fire if need be. A door opened above them, Ash could feel the pull of Light entering the room, countering the darkness from Kylo Ren. It had to have been Rey; they were safe.

            “Do you still want to save him?” Ash heard to her right, she turned her head to see Anakin standing next to her now, staring out at the bridge as well.

            Her heart racing in her chest, she looked back out at the bridge. Chewie had snuck away from her to get into a better position to fire, if he had to. It seemed like everything was slowing down in that moment. The weapon was just about charged, the machine making a slight rattling noise as it did. Ash felt almost numb as her eyes continued to be locked on the two men on the bridge. “Can I?” She asked almost breathlessly. “Can he still come back?”

            “If you fight for it.” Anakin said. “Remember, he is darkness, but you are the light. You are **_his_** light. Only you can bring him back.”

“Yes.” She answered his initial question. “I want to save him.”

             “Then don’t look.” Anakin warned.

As if on cue, Ashlyn closed her eyes. The only sound she could hear was the lightsaber activating in the distance. Rey’s screams were muffled in the distance; Chewie’s roar meant nothing. She felt the life fade from Han Solo and the darkness flood into the room. She opened her eyes then only to see two men on the bridge. A green laser fired from Chewie’s blaster and hit Kylo Ren in the side as the mines detonated. This place was about to blow. “Chewie!” Ash screamed, finding her strength again as she ran for the Wookie. She grabbed his arm tightly, trying to pull him away. “We have to go! We have to go now!”

            Reluctantly, the Wookie agreed. Having seen his best friend murdered by his own son… it took a toll on the Wookie. But the red haired girl next to him was right. They had to go. The two booked it for the exit, Chewie covering them from blaster fire from the Storm Troopers as they ran into the dark and cold night of StarKiller.

 

* * *

 

            Ash and Chewie boarded the Millennium Falcon, Chewie taking the pilot seat and immediately starting the engine. “We have to find Finn and Rey!” Ash exclaimed as the earth below them began to shake and crumble.

            A rather large explosion in the distance caused the sudden collapse of StarKiller. The world around them was falling apart and their window of escape from closing faster and faster. Chewie roared as the ship began to rise from the ground.

            “I can find them, give me a minute!” Ash said, sitting in the co-pilot seat and trying to focus. Her heart was still thudding in her chest as she closed her eyes. She could feel them; the light and dark battling in the woods. They were close. “Head that way.” Ash pointed forward. The Wookie obliged as the ship lifted higher off the ground and began to fly forward. The two were scanning the darkened woods, attempting to find any sort of sign of people being alive. Their search proving fruitless as they came up empty.

            Then, Ash felt it. The overwhelming light overcoming the dark, suddenly mixed with pain. Kylo Ren, he was in pain and it was so strong. She could feel it radiating through her as she pointed to the right. “That way.” The Wookie obeyed and turned the ship.

            The Millenium Falcon came over a broken piece of StarKiller, pulling over a small hill. The headlights beaming forward and illuminated two bodies in the woods, one lying on the ground and the other kneeling next to him. “Chewie!” Ash’s voice almost catching in her throat as the Wookie landed the ship carefully.

            Ash removed herself from the co-pilot seat and ran for the loading ramp, the Wookie following closely behind. She slammed her fist on the button, Chewie wasting no time to run down the ramp and help Rey and Finn. He grabbed the unconscious ex-trooper and ran back inside followed by Rey. The Wookie placed Finn on a nearby table before running back to the cockpit. Their time was almost out and they needed to escape.

           As the ship took off, Rey and Ash stood in the room where Finn lied unconscious. They stared at each other for what felt like an eternity, unsure if the other was real at first. Then, slowly, they came together and hugged. They had been through something awful, while two different experiences, they understood each other. And although they were meeting for the first time, it felt like they had known each other their whole lives.   

           

* * *

 

           

            The two women sat in the Millenium Falcon, both damaged in a whole different way from their adventure. Yet, there was comfort here. The two had someone who understood. While Ash had Kylo Ren to help her, he at least had an understanding of what he was going through. Ash and Rey were thrown into this life without much of a fight. “How did you learn about… all of this?” Rey asked, chuckling awkwardly as she tried to ask about something she didn’t know much about to begin with.

            “Ever since I was younger, I’ve been having weird dreams. Sometimes they’d come true.” Ash explained, feeling like she could tell Rey about her past. Something she was relieved to be able to do now. “I saw my family die before it happened. I thought I was just sick, that something was wrong with me. I was told to keep it hidden and never let anyone know about it. That only lasted so long when I began to work for the First Order.”

            “You worked for the First Order?” Rey asked, somewhat horrified.

“Freelance, I was never really one of them.” Ash quickly explained. “It was practically mandatory that I learned all about the Force. I know it’s going to sound bad, but… I learned from Kylo Ren.” Rey flinched. “See! I said it sounded bad!”

            “He’s a monster.” Rey revealed. “He forced his way into my head, stole my thoughts--”

“He has a habit of doing that.” Ash sympathized. “I promise, I’m nothing like him. You’re nothing like him either. I’ve seen it.”

            Rey nodded slowly. “I know you’re not either. Something… whatever it is that’s inside me. It was bringing me here all along, wasn’t it?”

 “The Force has a way of bringing us to where we need to be. Sometimes in the worst possible way imaginable.”

            “I saw you in Kylo Ren’s mind.” Rey informed her, albeit somewhat reluctantly. “He has feelings for you.”

            Ash grimaced slightly. “Yeah… he does.” She was unsure if she should even mention her position with Kylo Ren… or rather, whatever that meant right now. He killed his own father, tortured Poe Dameron, and yet here she was, as angry as she could be with him and still wanting to bring him back.

            Rey immediately saw through her, but kept it to herself. That was a truth she didn’t think she was ready to hear just yet. “What happens now?” She asked. “Where do we go from here.”

            “We have to keep the fight going. We need to take down Snoke and stop the First Order.” Ash said.

            “How?”

Ash thought for a moment. That was a loaded question in itself. How the hell did they stop Snoke? Kylo Ren sure had ideas for that, however, she was almost certain he wasn’t ready to share them. The Republic was gone now thanks to her and the weapon known as StarKiller. How did the Resistance stop Snoke now? “Luke Skywalker.” She answered almost robotically. “We get Luke to help us.”

            “BB-8 has the missing part of the map.” Rey explained. “Can Luke really help fix all this?”

Ash shrugged. “Everyone seems to think so. General Organa believes he can also train us in the Force.”

            Rey smiled. “I’d like that. I’d like to know where my place in all this is.”

“You and me both.” The girls shared a quick laugh. The first of many. Ashlyn realized then that Rey was very important and not just to her. She was the Light that she was destined to help balance with the Dark. Whatever the hell that meant. Yet, with Rey, she felt the pull to the light, the ever present feeling of hope in a time of such darkness. Maybe, just maybe, things would be okay.

 


	40. Repercussions of StarKiller

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ash deals with the end of StarKiller, Kylo Ren has an interesting dream, and the temptation to go home is just getting harder and harder...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really just like posting chapters. I don't know. I feel like I don't deserve all the love and support from you guys, you've all been so wonderful and I just want to keep posting and making you guys happy. Thank you all so much for your comments, your kudos, your kind and wonderful support. It's been amazing. We have so much more to cover and you guys have been there every step of the way when things get crazy in this story. Thank you for hanging in there and I hope you keep enjoying.

* * *

 

While the Resistance took the time to celebrate their victory, even if it was in the smallest of celebrations, Ash found herself disappearing from the party. While the Resistance had every reason to memorialize their triumph over the First Order; Ash didn’t feel the same. At least, she felt she didn’t have a reason to celebrate.

            She had friends on that base. Friends she wasn’t sure made it out alive. Then, there was Kylo Ren. He was left injured on StarKiller; Rey had defeated him in an epic lightsaber battle. While Ash knew he wasn’t dead, there was a sick sense of remorse in the fact that she didn’t come to his aid. Should she have? She was focused on getting Rey and Finn out of harm's way instead. What did that say about her?

            Ash snuck away to her apartment, the door closing firmly behind her as she sat on her bed. She did the only thing she could do in that moment... she traveled across the stars…

 

* * *

 

            She was standing in an infirmary room, one she couldn’t truly place where, but that wasn’t something that mattered. What mattered was the unconscious man lying on the gurney in front of her. He was hooked up to a machine that blipped and beeped every so often; he wasn’t dead.

            Ash came closer, looking down at the shirtless Kylo Ren as he lied there unmoving. His eyes fluttering under his eyelids; he was dreaming. He looked so peaceful. However, she knew it wouldn’t stay that way when he woke up and saw what Rey had done to him. A large, black skin graph adorned his right cheek. His right side had another skin graph from where Chewbacca had shot him. He also had a nasty burn mark on his right shoulder.

            Her small hand found his larger one; lacing her fingers with his. She knew he could feel it, even if she wasn’t there. She knew he could feel her projection regardless. He only confirmed as much as his mouth parted slightly, letting out an airy word. The only word that she wished he hadn’t. He said her name. It was clear as day. Ash leaned down, placing her lips to his forehead and lingering for a moment before kissing him.

            Reluctantly she pulled away, still holding his hand. “There are so many things I don’t forgive you for.” She said, knowing he probably couldn’t hear her. “So many things I want to hate you for… and I can’t. I want to so badly and I just can’t.” Ash bit her lip nervously, why she was nervous in the first place was beyond her. It wasn’t like he was going to wake up and fight her. “I still want to come home, against my better judgment, against everything I believe in. I still want to come home.” Ash squeezed his hand just a little tighter. “But I don’t think I can come home yet.”

            With one last look at the man on the infirmary bed, Ash pulled herself back from this space and back to her own. She had a feeling she’d be seeing him soon anyway.

           

* * *

 

            _His eyes opened ever so delicately, adjusting to the lighting of his apartment. With a sharp exhale, he looked to his right. His heart began to quicken its normal pace as he stared at the peaceful resting face of the red haired girl next to him. Relief washed over him almost as quickly as the panic set in. It was all a dream. It had to have been. She was here, lying next to him and safe. Right where she had always belonged._

_Her lips curled slightly upward. “You're staring.” Her eyes opening. Stars, he never knew he could miss those eyes so much. Without another word, he turned to his side to fully face her. His arm wrapping around her as he pulled her to his chest. The smile evident in her voice now. “Not that I'm complaining, but why so loving this morning?”_

_“I can't just want to hold you?” He mumbled._

_“I think you just want to get out of your duties today.” Ash replied teasingly as she leaned up and kissed his chin. “I promise I’ll make it worth your while if we can get everything done today.”_

_He grinned. “I like the sound of that.”_

_Ash pushed him over as she rolled on top of him, straddling his waist as she looked down at him. She leaned down, kissing him sweetly before rolling off him completely and getting off the bed. “Come on, Supreme Leader. We have things to do.”_

_Supreme Leader? He looked confused at first as Ashlyn walked over to a rather large closet, grabbing something from inside and headed for the refresher. He sat up, confusion still washing over him as he tried to remember. He was Supreme Leader now. He looked around the apartment, the much bigger apartment. Hell, even his bed was giant in comparison. He realized then this was a vision, he knew it in some capacity of his mind. A vision he was really enjoying. However, he didn’t realize just how much he enjoyed it until Ash emerged from the refresher._

_She was adjusting the button on her First Order uniform, however, there was a different insignia on the shoulder and all black instead of dark grey. Her red hair pulled back into a tight ponytail. She grinned as she looked at him once more. “Get dressed!”_

_Kylo Ren got off the bed and walked over to where he assumed his wardrobe was. He grabbed his typical Commander outfit, the only thing he really recognized before walking into the refresher and dressing. Something was off, some detail that was telling him that something was wrong. Yet, he brushed it off. This couldn’t be wrong, right? It felt so good._

_After dressing for the day, he walked over to Ashlyn as she lead him to the throne room. “He’s very excited that you agreed to start his training today.” Ash mentioned in passing._

_“Who is?” Kylo frowned._

_Ash chuckled. “You still have sleep on the brain.” The two turned the corner, only to be greeted by General Hux._

_“Oh good, you’re both finally awake.” He mused._

_“Blame this one.” Ash nodded to Ren._

_“I’d never blame our Supreme Leader.” His tone mocking, however, he knew he could get away with it. After all they had been through, he was one of the safe ones. The trio continued on to the throne room, entering the large red and black room with the single black, crystallized chair at the center. “Phasma is finishing combat training with your son as we speak--”_

_Kylo Ren immediately stopped paying attention as Hux continued speaking. Son? He thought to himself as his mind tried to process everything that was happening around him. After a moment’s pause, Ash wrapped her arm around his as the two walked over to the dark throne in the center of the room. “He’s very excited, go easy on him today.” Ash said, the two now alone in the room as Hux left._

_“Of course.” Ren agreed, the idea of fatherhood sinking in along with the realization that this was, unfortunately, a dream. It had to have been. He was beginning to remember the world outside of here. However, that didn’t mean he couldn’t enjoy this potential future just a little bit longer._

_Kylo Ren sat in the chair now, feeling powerful; in control. He was the Supreme Leader now. Ash sat down on his lap, straddling him as she looked down at him. She was loving the power he had too, he could feel it. “We’ve taken over the Galaxy.” Ash said, looking at him adoringly. “What’s left to conquer?”_

_He grinned. “I can think of a few things.” She leaned down to kiss him, he kissed her back. As things began to heat up between the two Force Users, Ash immediately pulled away as someone else entered the room. Her eyes narrowed as she turned, seeing a New Order personnel enter the room. She removed herself from Kylo Ren’s lap, standing at his side as the man looked terrified to have stumbled in. “My apologies--” He stuttered. “I have word for the--” He stopped speaking, his jaw locked tightly as he stood frozen. Kylo Ren stared at the man in front of him, unsure what was happening as the man began to gurgle and sputter. He couldn’t breathe._

_The man’s hands clawed at his neck as he tried to breathe. Kylo Ren realized what was happening as he looked to Ashlyn. Her arm outstretched, her eyes turning a shade of amber. And then there was that sick smirk curling on her lips. With a quick flick to her wrist, a motion he would have missed had he not been staring, a loud crack echoed in the room as the suffering man fell limp to the ground with a thud. It was then Kylo Ren understood that this wasn’t the Ashlyn he knew, this was the darkness he had wanted to pull her to, and she was radiating with it._

_She cleared her throat, turning to look at Kylo. “He interrupted us.” As though that justified everything._

_He had never been more turned on and terrified of the woman before him; this was so very wrong and so right. An internal part of him battling with the moral choice in front of him. He made her this way; that was clear. But, was this a future he wanted to drag her into? The loving and simple Ashlyn Novafall, succumbing to the darkness in such a way that she simply murdered people?_

_The door slid open again, the chrome armored trooper walked in with the dark haired little boy next to her. The splitting image of Kylo Ren, he looked so small but, hell, he was strong with the Force. He held such raw power that Ren could sense the moment he walked in._

_Phasma looked down at the dead body in the room before sighing. “I’ll send in cleanup.” As though it were such a natural and reoccurring thing. She was hardly phased by it._

_Ash was beaming as she knelt down, her arms outstretched. The little boy ran for her, his arms wrapping around her neck as she picked him up in her arms. Kylo Ren became fully aware then that being Supreme Leader, bringing Ashlyn to the dark side, all of that; it didn’t compare to what he felt when he saw Ashlyn hold their son in her arms. If any part of this dream could come true, he wanted that more than anything._

 

* * *

 

            Kylo Ren unwillingly woke up, a blinding light above him as his eyes tried to adjust. As he realized before, he had been dreaming. His body ached, his face was in pain. The Light User, he remembered their fight. She slashed his cheek with his grandfather’s lightsaber. As anger surged through him, he couldn’t help but think about killing her. He hated her in every fiber of his being; she was the opposite of him and a threat to what he wanted to create with Ashlyn. She needed to be squashed quickly.

             There was no doubt in his mind now that Ashlyn could live in the darkness, he had seen it. But was that something he wanted to bring her into? Sure, it was safe to say Ash was no longer the simple mechanic that arrived on StarKiller. She was something much more. His dream could mean one of two things; that Ash could be swayed or that it was too late and Ash was already pulled down that darkened path.

            The pain rushed through him as he forced himself to sit up. StarKiller was destroyed, that bitch Light User got away, and Ashlyn was with her.

            The door slid open to the infirmary as Hux wandered in. He looked pissed, then again, who could blame him. “They said you’d be waking up soon.” The door slid closed behind him, now the two men were alone. “Are you alright?”

            Ren frowned, his voice cracking from not having used it in a while. “Does it **_look_** like I’m alright?”

            Hux rolled his eyes as he answered truthfully. “No, you look like hell. However, you’re alive.” Hux wandered over to the nearby counter in the infirmary, finding a plastic cup and filling it with water. He walked over to Kylo Ren and handed it to him. Ren reluctantly took it, not wanting the charity but, hell, he was thirsty. “I’m sure you’re aware. Your girlfriend destroyed StarKiller.” He snorted into the cup. “Snoke is displeased and wants a full assault on the Resistance. We’re running out of time, Ren.”

            He finished chugging the water, the cool liquid sliding down his dry throat. “We need to move to the next phase. I need Ashlyn.”

            Hux frowned. “Now is not the time for some lovers quarrel with Ashlyn.”

“No, she has a part to play.” Kylo Ren explained dryly. “Snoke wants her to join us again now that the Light User is in play. I need to get Ash on our side before Snoke gets to her first.”

            “You know Ash won’t be so easily swayed.”

He gave him a _No Shit_ look. “I can’t confront Skywalker alone. He won’t trust me.”

            “But he’ll trust Ash?”

“I think he’ll trust anyone over me at this point.” Kylo retorted.

            He wasn’t wrong. “What are you after, Ren?”

What **_was_** Kylo Ren after? Total domination of the First Order? Getting rid of Snoke? Reuniting with the girl that ignited the flame in him while giving him the biggest headache ever? It was a mix of all those things, in reality. However, he needed a few things. He couldn’t defeat Snoke on his own and Skywalker was in possession of one of those items. He ignored Hux’s question altogether. “I need to lure Ash out, get her alone and appeal to her desire to rid the galaxy of Snoke. Once she’s back with us, we move in on Skywalker and begin the final phase of the overhaul.”

            “I’ll have Phasma prepare.” Hux confirmed as Kylo Ren removed himself from the infirmary bed. “But you should rest, you’re in no condition to go after Ash in this state.”

            “It’s not like I plan on killing her--” Ren admitted. “We’ll probably fight, I’m going to teach her a lesson, and **_then_** , I’ll bring her here.” Hux let out an exasperated sigh as Kylo Ren left the infirmary, almost certain that Ren was going to be the death of him one way or another.

* * *

  


            Finn had been placed in intensive care when the trio arrived back on D’Qar. Ash was eager to introduce Rey to Leia; the two immediately hitting it off. With the Resistance in possession of the final piece of the map, they were able to locate the whereabouts of Luke Skywalker. Much needed hope and light returned to the Rebels during this time. Now, the question of reaching out and bringing Luke Skywalker back came into play. Who would find him and bring him to the Resistance? It didn’t take long for Rey to volunteer, much to Ash’s dismay on the matter. She wanted Rey around, she brought out a side of her that she hadn’t felt in so long. Selfish, but she didn’t really care.

            Besides, Ash had things to do on base. She helped repair the X-wings that returned damaged, she helped refuel the Millennium Falcon and recalibrated the compressor for them, since Rey ripped it out of the ship in the first place. She was busy, she didn’t mind.

            Rey was ready to depart with Chewie and the newly awakened droid, R2-D2. She had never met the droid before; from what she understood, he was out of commission. However, she quickly learned just how snarky and obscene the droid could be. She liked him. “You’re leaving?” Ash asked sadly to the other Force User.

“I’m going to bring Luke back.” Rey promised. “When I do, he can help us learn more about this other side of us.”

            Ash nodded, pulling Rey in for a hug. “Keep in touch.”

“I will.” Rey smiled warmly.

            The two girls lost, wanting to find their place in all this, at least they had each other. Reluctantly now, they had to separate. Yet, they knew it was for a good cause.

 

* * *

 

           Now, Ash was alone once more with the pilot, the General, the funny little droid and a ghost. She didn’t mind the company she kept, she simply was hoping to connect more with Rey. They both had hoped for that. But they knew what had to be done; Luke Skywalker needed to come back to the waking world.

            So, Ash spent the next few days working and keeping busy. She ended up on the Raddus again. She really liked that ship, it was quiet and she could be alone when she needed it most. Now was one of those times.

           Ash adjusted the wiring in the paneling for the door release in the med bay, they weren’t to her standards. Granted, they worked, but they weren’t perfect and Ashlyn needed the distraction.

            “I’m not surprised you’re working yourself to death.” The flat voice said. Ash felt her heart leap to her throat as she backed away from the door. She turned to see Kylo Ren standing in the room; smirking. And although she knew the state he was in after the fight, she couldn’t help but stare at the black bandage on his cheek. Rey got him real good.

            If he was going to play that way, then she would too. “Nice scar.”

He glared as much as he could, the pain in his cheek was evident. “It’s one of **_those_** days for us, isn’t it?”

            “What do you want, Ren?”

“You can just pop in on me, but I can’t check on you?” He asked, feigning insult as he walked closer to her. Surprisingly, she stood her ground.

            “No, you can’t.” She frowned, crossing her arms over her chest. “Besides, I’m still angry with you.”

“I think we can all assume you’ll continue to be angry with me for the rest of our lives.” That didn’t seem to be too farfetched in Ashlyn’s mind.

            “You say that like we’re going to be doing this forever.”

“Aren’t we?” He challenged. As much as she hated it, she also loved the sound of it.

            “Not like this.” She replied quietly.

That vulnerability within her, the one thing that always showed she was human, it had a nasty habit of making Kylo Ren feel guilt over the things he had done. It made him want to comfort her, be with her. Now wasn’t the time, he needed her help. “But you’re right, I do have a reason for being here besides seeing you.”

            She knew it. He needed something from her and, by the stars, she wasn’t going to easily give in to him. “Save it, I don’t want to hear it.” Ash replied dismissively.

“Oh, but I think you will.” Ash knew it then, he had something up his sleeve. He always played this game when he wanted to get her to do something. “In fact, I’m inclined to believe you’ll be eager to hear what I have to say, considering it involves you and quite possibly the end of the First Order.”

            She cautiously took the bait. “What is it?”

He knew he had her. He always could tell in the way her nose would wrinkle slightly at something she was curious in. “Meet with me and I’ll tell you.”

            Ash scoffed. “You’re mad.”

“Yes.” He agreed. “But, I also know you want the same thing I do. Whether you care to admit it or not. We have similar interests.” Kylo Ren’s offer was tempting. “We can meet on neutral ground, if it makes you feel better.”

            She hesitated, her heart aching for her to go find him and meet with him. The pull to him was almost unbearable at times. Her brain was countering that want and need as it screamed at her to reconsider. “Where?”

            He smirked. “You know where.”

She knew exactly where. “And if I say ‘no’?” She asked.

            Kylo Ren was confident in his answer. “You won’t.” By now, he was towering over her as he stood impossibly close. She was so very thankful that he was just a projection.

 Ash frowned, trying to keep her feet firmly planted as she challenged him. “Well, I’m saying ‘no’.”

            He snickered in reply. “Starshine, you won’t be able to resist. I have a feeling.”

Her jaw clenched tighter; hearing his pet name for her caused a mixed reaction. Adoration and utter disgust. “Get off my ship.”

            Kylo Ren backed away, holding his hands up in defense. “I’ll see you soon.” With that, the projection of Kylo Ren faded, leaving Ash alone once more. Except, now she was angry.

            “Do you think he’s telling the truth?” Oh, she wasn’t in the mood to hear from Anakin right now.

“Not in the slightest.” Ash informed him as she turned to face the Force Ghost.

            “What do you plan on doing?”

Ash shrugged, playing it cool. “Stay here and not go to him.”

              Anakin frowned slightly. “What happened to helping him return to the light?”

“I will.” Ash said. “But not when he has something to gain from it.” Anakin didn’t seem too convinced, to be frank, neither did Ashlyn. She needed to resist him; unfortunately, Ashlyn Novafall was her own worst enemy and the call to go home was becoming much harder to ignore.

 

       

* * *

    

           

            Phasma and Hux were relocated to the Finalizer after the fall of StarKiller. The two had barely escaped as the planet caved in around them. In fact, neither one knew if the other was still alive until they reunited on the Finalizer.

            While the loss of StarKiller was a huge setback for the General, there were worse things to worry about in that moment. The two sat in darkness, the only light illuminating Hux’s apartment was from the fireplace. This room was not as big as his StarKiller one, however, he’d make due all things considered. “He left again.” Phasma commented in passing, her voice low.

            “I know.” Hux said distastefully at the Commander’s impulsive and rash behavior. “He’s going to bring Ashlyn back. He thinks he can convince her to rejoin us”

“Now might not be a good time.” Phasma warned.

“When has anything he’s done been at a good time?” Hux snorted. “Besides, it’s Snoke that wants her back.”

            Phasma frowned. “It’s not just Snoke that wants her back.” Phasma saw right through Kylo Ren. He had been itching to reunite with the lost Grey User. He needed her just as much as she needed him. “Surely, Ren could have waited for us to start our next phase.”

            “I have just as much control over the Commander as you do.” That awkward silence filled the room again, everything was falling apart, at least, it felt as much. “When do we debrief with Damar?”

            “He’s arriving soon. He’s been on the Supremacy.” Phasma informed the General. “Something is wrong, I know you feel it too. Damar has always been a problem, but something about his sudden trip to see the Supreme Leader has me worried.”

            Hux’s lips thinned to a straight line. “Your fears are quite warranted, I assure you. We must be ready for anything. Perhaps, if Ren can convince Ashlyn to rejoin us, we can move forward.”

            Hux had known Phasma for a very long time. They had gone through the academy together, rose in ranks together, babysat Kylo Ren with all his spontaneous outbursts and planning. Never once did he ever see fear on her face. Uncertainty, sure, but fear? “And what if they aren’t strong enough to take down Snoke?” She didn’t want to ask, but she had to. “Armitage, what if we fail?”

            “Once again, we must blindly put our faith in that Kylo Ren knows what he’s doing.” Hux admitted. “But be ready to execute our part with or without him.”

            Her face now like stone, hiding the fear that had so briefly taken over as she nodded only once. “I must prepare for Damar’s arrival.” When Phasma left the room; Hux sat in silence as he contemplated what their next move would be. For Phasma, he needed the backup plan to be ready. If Kylo Ren were to fail, he needed to protect her. By the stars, he prayed Kylo Ren would not fail...

 

* * *

 

            _The screams echoed in Ashlyn’s mind. Their fear extending throughout her entire being as she felt their lasts moments alive. Millions of people all at once, in a single system, staring at the red beams of light that fired in their direction. Their lives suddenly meaningless as they soon would disappear within the blink of an eye. That didn’t make it hurt any less, not to her. She did this to them. She built the weapon, she was just as bad as the First Order, if not worse._

 

            Ash jolted awake, sitting up in her bed as her chest rose and fell rapidly. Her body covered in a cold sweat as she looked around the dark room and tried to place where she was. D’Qar, the Resistance base. She was safe. She didn’t feel like it.

Stars, she hated this. She felt the anguish from the final moments of the people on the Hosnian system. Their deaths were on her hands. Ash was visibly shaken, she tried her best to hide it as she soon began to realize she wasn’t alone. “How long have you been here?”

            “Since you started dreaming.” At least he was honest.

Ash swallowed. “If you’re here to convince me to come find you because I’m weak--”

            “I’m not.” Kylo Ren’s voice soft as he walked closer to the bed. “And you’re anything but weak.”

            Her throat tightened slightly, she was beginning to feel herself about to cry. Whether it was from her dream or being completely overwhelmed by his presence, she wasn’t sure. “Then why are you here?”

            “I can still feel when you’re having nightmares. Even if I can’t see them when I’m far away.” Ren explained. “I don’t need to see them to know what you’re dreaming about. You hold onto so much. The deaths of others even when they’re not yours to keep.” Tears slid down her cheeks as she pulled her knees to her chest. He sat down next to her on the bed, while he wasn’t actually there, it almost felt like it. “Lay down.” He gently instructed. “You need to sleep.”

            Ash licked her lips, her breathing still uneven. “Even if I find you, it doesn’t change the things you’ve done.”

He rolled his eyes. “This isn’t about you forgiving me right now; it’s about you forgiving yourself.” He nodded again to the bed. “Now lay down.”

            Obediently, she did. She shifted back into the bed and let her body relax as much as it could into the mattress. She was still so very tense, but at least she was lying down again. He managed to shift into the bed next to her, the two lying above the covers. “We’re just every little bit of fucked up, aren’t we?”

            He snorted. “I think it suits us.”

She couldn’t hide the small smile that came with that revelation. “Will it ever get better?”

            “Maybe.” Kylo Ren said. “Everything gets worse before it gets better.”

Ash looked over at him. “Are we passed worse?”

            He sighed. “I don’t know, Starshine.” Kylo turned onto his side to look at her; their eyes locked in each other’s gazes. “Come home and we can find out.”

            “And if we’re not, we’re just going to fight again.”

He smirked. “Well, I do have to get back at you for StarKiller.”

            “Which part? The part where I blew up the base or tricked you with a projection?”

His expression was enough to make her laugh. “Ouch.” Kylo said full out grinning now. “But since you asked, both.”

            Kylo watched Ash relax more into the mattress as she shifted to her side now. These little moments, when their animosity towards one another didn’t take, those were moments that easily reminded them of how wonderful things could be. How much they truly cared for one another. “I don’t want to go to sleep.”

            Kylo Ren expected that reaction from her; however, he thought for a whole different reason. “It’s only a nightmare.”

“I know that.” She explained. “It’s just--” She paused. “You won’t be here when I wake up. It’s always the times we’re getting along, you have to go.”

            He knew what she meant; he knew how she felt. He felt it too. “Then come find me.” He said again. “You won’t wake up alone again.”

The side of her lips quirked upwards. “Assuming we don’t kill each other first.”

             He let out an airy chuckle. “Of course.” Stars, he wanted to kiss her. The sad smile on her lips, even though it held pain, he also knew the hidden happiness within it. It was now or never, he knew he couldn’t stay here; they both did. He’d need to leave, he wasn’t strong enough to stay projected for too long. Not in his weakened state. And if Ashlyn did come find him and they **_did_** fight? Well, he would be a goner. “You know where to find me.” His body began to disintegrate before her.

            “Please don’t go.” Her voice barely a whisper as he disappeared. The choice was hers to make now; did she go against her better judgement and find him or stay away from that disaster altogether? Was now the time to try and bring light back to Kylo Ren? The only thing certain was the impulsive nature within Ashlyn Novafall and her need to find home once more.

  

* * *

         

 

            In the wee hours of the morning, before the base stirred, Ashlyn stumbled into the shipyard and looked for a starship she could sneak away in without setting off too many alarms to the Resistance. She found herself staring at the ship she first arrived in. In all its glory, the ship was still intact and a glaring reminder of what had happened. Something mixing in her as she stared at the ship; memories, sadness, a secret fondness in her heart over Kylo Ren. Regardless how awful things had become between them, he did send her away for her own safety.

            “And where the heck are you off to so late?” She had been caught. Awkwardly, Ash turned to see Poe Dameron and BB-8.

            Ash wouldn’t lie to him, but she also wouldn’t tell him the truth either. “I have to do something.” She explained. “For my own sanity; I need to do this.” Before Poe could object, her voice was pleading. “Please.”

            He deflated slightly. “I don’t know if I like this plan of yours. It’s dangerous out there. The First Order will be looking for you now.”

“I’ll be fine.” Ash smiled. “I promise.”

             “I guess this isn’t exactly a documented mission?” Ash didn’t reply; Poe nodded in understanding. “I can keep the General off your scent for a little bit, but--” He paused. “Don’t take too long.”

            BB-8 blipped. Ash knelt down to his level. “I’ll be back.” He chirped then. “I know, I promised you some sick upgrades. I’ll make sure to bring parts back.”

            She stood back up again, looking at Poe. He didn’t want to let her go, he was afraid she wouldn’t come back. She was an enemy of the First Order now; it was dangerous out there. “Check in if you need more time.” He offered.

            Ash wasted no time in hugging him. “Thank you.” She whispered.

“Don’t thank me yet.” Poe chuckled as he pulled away. “Now get out of here before anyone notices.”

            Ash nodded, looking at them one last time before entering the transport unit. Without much of a second thought, she started the ship. Taking in the sight before her of the base. She knew in her heart she’d be back. For now, she had to go. The transport unit lifted off the ground and soon flew up into the atmosphere of D’Qar, leaving the Resistance behind.

 


	41. Home

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ash goes home

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You guys are wonderful. Please read the note at the end of this chapter.

* * *

 

“This is insanity, this is insanity, **_this is insanity._** ” She repeated over and over again as the ship landed on Maridun. He didn’t have to tell her where to go, she already knew. This was the one place they both could go and be safe. It made sense. It was only confirmed even more so by the fact that his ship was also docked near the hut.

            “Then why did you come here?” Anakin asked.

Ash exhaled, trying to regulate her breathing. “I have no clue.” She didn’t, she couldn’t understand why she was here. “I really don’t know.” She was scared, whether or not she wanted to or could admit it then. Her heart thudded in her chest as if trying to break free. This was madness, she knew that the moment she found herself getting on the ship and taking off. What made everything worse? It was beginning to rain. She had a bad feeling overall.

            Gripping the lightsaber that was hooked to her side tightly; it was a safety net, a reassurance if things went south. Stars, she hoped it wouldn’t. She stared out the windshield of the cockpit as rain drizzled onto the glass; blurring the darkening field in front of her. This was a mistake; she knew that. However, there was no going back now.

            After eternity passed, or so it felt, Ash finally disembarked the transport unit and began crossing the field. The cool rain droplets falling onto her head ever so gently as thunder rumbled in the distance. There was a light on in the hut; he was here. She could feel it.

           Ash opened the door and stood in the doorway of the little hut. Her eyes scanned the area and coming up empty. It was exactly how they left it; say for the one detail that was out of order. On the picnic table sat the book of planets. **_His_** book of planets. Slowly, she walked around the table to get a closer look at the book. Her fingers hovering over the cover; Ash was afraid to touch it as though it would poison her. “Are you actually here?” The deep voice asked; Ash immediately looked up to see the man in black walk in the hut and stand directly across from her. The only separation between them being the picnic table.

          Ash noticed the black bandage was gone now, however, the scar was still unmistakably there. “Are you?” She countered.

Ren smirked wickedly. “Why not come over here and find out?”

             “I think I’m fine where I am, thanks.” Oh, it was going to be one of their bad times, wasn’t it?

Kylo Ren waved his hand, the kitchen table sliding violently across the floor and to the other side of the room. Ash took a step back, her hand hovering over her lightsaber, which didn’t go unnoticed by the other Force User as his brow raised in amusement. There were no barriers now between them. “You’re not going to need that.” He commented.

              “You sure about that?” Her hand still hovered.

The stupid, sly smirk was still on his lips and Ash wanted nothing more than to smack it off his stupid-pretty face. “How are you?”

            “You didn’t bring me here for small-talk, Ren.”

“You’re right, I didn’t.” He confirmed, taking a step forward. Ash matched that step as she moved back. “I can explain everything on our trip to the Finalizer.”

            Ash glared. “I’m not going to the Finalizer. I’m with the Resistance now.”

“You don’t belong with them.” Kylo Ren explained. “You don’t belong with the First Order; you don’t belong anywhere… except with me.”

             She wouldn’t be so easily swayed. “Which just so happens to mean I go to the Finalizer.”

He shrugged. “Think of it as a stop along the way.” Ash couldn’t go with him to the Finalizer, she knew that. Maybe he was right that she didn’t belong on either side of this war. However, leaving behind the Resistance seemed wrong; especially now that Rey was part of it. How could she leave behind her friends? Finn was still in a coma, Rey was gone and Poe-- She didn’t even get to finish her thought before the sudden shift in the room came. “Oh, yes.” Kylo spat. “ ** _The pilot_**.”

            Of course he had been listening in on her internal debate. “Don’t bring him into this.”

“I wonder what he’ll think of you when he realizes you’re not the good person you made him believe you were.” Kylo’s tone was cruel. “When he realizes there’s more darkness in your heart than even **_you_** realize.”

            “The darkness is your fault, Ren. Not mine, it’s not me. You brought it to me.” Ash tried to comeback at him.

“When are you going to stop blaming me and just accept you belong in the darkness.” Kylo Ren provoked her. “You’re more like me than you care to admit.”

            The lightsaber unclipped from her belt, with a flick of her wrist, the amber blade shot out. “I am **nothing** like you.” Ash snarled. “You killed your own father.” He didn’t flinch at that revelation. “You tortured Poe.”

            Kylo Ren’s lightsaber then unleashed, the crackle of the corrupted kyber crystal was deafening as Ash stared at the sick smirk on his lips. “Only a little.” Thunder crashed in the distance.

           He was trying to bring the darkness out of her. He needed to see it for himself just how far she had delved into it. His dream still in the back of his mind; Ashlyn becoming one with the darkness was tantalizing almost as it was horrifying. He needed to know just how far gone she was, if she could still fight it. Yet, as Ashlyn charged at him, lightsaber gripped tightly in his hand, he wasn’t so sure she could.

            Their sabers connecting, crackling and hissing from impact. He pushed back at her, forcing her backwards until her back hit the wall. Her own lightsaber becoming dangerously close to her as he pushed down with his. “It’s there, it’s **_always_** been there. That darkness you tried so hard to fight.”

          Ash struggled, trying to keep find her focus, her place in the balance. She couldn’t find balance. The scale was dipping dangerously to the dark side. He was winning, provoking her to be just like him. Two could play that game as Ash channeled the darkness she was afraid of. With one brave attempt, she pushed back with as much force as her tiny frame could muster. The darkness overwhelming and radiating from her as Kylo Ren was sent flying back and into the door of the hut.

          Stunned at the sheer force that came from the red haired girl, he looked back at her. That’s when he noticed it, the quick flicker in her eyes. The amber color. She was channeling the darkness like he expected she would. Except, he hadn’t expected that much power behind her. He also didn’t expect the door to give as she force pushed him back again. Now, he lied on the flat of his back, looking up at the darkened sky as rain poured down on him. His body aching from bruises that hadn’t healed yet, and now this. He had to keep provoking her, he needed to know if his dream had any merit to it, if Ash was coming to the dark side.

           He got to his feet as quickly as possible, the red haired girl walking out of the hut. “I am **_nothing_** like you!” She shouted again, raising her lightsaber.

“Who are you trying to convince, starshine?” Ren tempted once more. Ash ran forward again, slicing upwards only to be met with his saber. He wasn’t going to hold back anymore and that showed in the more violent strikes as he countered her movements.

             Ash pulled back, unlocking their sabers from their struggle and swiped upwards, causing Kylo Ren to jump back. He twirled his saber, bringing it down with force as she dodged out of the way. Ash took control of the battle then, pushing forward and slashing at the other Force User. Kylo Ren matched her steps, blocking whatever he could as he felt the anger and hatred from the girl. The darkness he hadn’t felt from her giving her a strength he hadn’t seen within Ashlyn before.

            The lightsabers danced in the darkness; the rain falling harder as thunder roared in the distance. Twirling in the dark, clashing and violently connecting to one another. The amber and red blades blending as the two fought. The two Force Users pulled back, their eyes boring into each other as they stood at the ready. Ash gripped her saber tightly as Kylo Ren twirled his. “You know you can’t beat me.” Kylo taunted. “You never could.”

            “If you don’t shut up, I’m going to give you a matching scar on your left cheek!” Ash spat. Kylo Ren simply glared, clutching his saber before slashing at the girl again. Her saber rose to meet his, the vibration between the Force and the lightsabers resonated through their entire beings.

            The two battled for dominance, their sabers locked as the lights illuminated their faces. Kylo Ren’s intense, dark eyes staring into hers. “You want to kill me.” He mused, his lips quirking upward into a smirk.

            Ash groaned as she pushed back against him. “You’re damn right I do!”

‘ _Ashlyn, stop this.’_ She heard in her head, the voice was not hers, not Ren’s… but Anakin’s. ‘ _He’s provoking you. He’s pulling at the darkness within you. Don’t give in. Don’t let him win. You’re_ **his** _light, he’s not your darkness.’_

She didn’t stop, she didn’t listen. Instead, she continued to get all her aggression, all her anger and darkness out. Slashing and swinging at the Force User in front of her. He was just as vicious, just as angry. Even though he was weakened, he began to channel that darkness, that inner strength that could end this all in one swift blow. Ash could sense it as the two danced around one another, finding themselves in the woods as they went. Avoiding each other’s saber blades as the fighting continued. Thunder roared right above them as Ash shoved Kylo Ren back, using this opportunity to get herself out of the surrounding woods and to an open area. She ran, knowing he was behind her and closing in. Running forward, Ash cleared the woods; the anger, the pain, all of it that had surged through her suddenly vanished as she stared outward at the lake.

            The rain was pouring down onto Maridun, the water rippling from the contact. Suddenly, what Anakin said made sense. “I’m his light, he’s not my darkness…” She mumbled, staring out at the lake. The same lake where they fully bonded; she could see that night now. The way their bodies molded together almost perfectly, moving in fluid motion. His hands on her body, their lips connected.

            Kylo Ren had burst through the treeline now, his lightsaber still cackling as he noticed Ash had completely stopped. She turned to face him and that was when Kylo saw something change in Ashlyn’s expression, something was different. The darkness was dissipating as Ashlyn pulled back. The rain continued to come down on the two Force Users as Ashlyn looked at him. “I’m not like you.” She said, calmer this time. “I’m not darkness, I’m not light. I’m grey. I will always be grey. I will always balance between the two.” Ash retracted her lightsaber, gripping it loosely in her hand as she looked down. “I saw something--” She admitted. “I saw the future; I saw us happy. I saw a child that could balance between the light and dark. I’ve been holding onto that possibility, but now I’m not so sure. I’m not so sure you can come back to the light, but that’s okay. You don’t need to. I’m what keeps you from going too far under.” Ash felt herself calming down now. “If that’s not something you want… then you better just end this now. I’m not going to stop fighting for it.”

            The two stood in silence as thunder clapped from above. Neither one moving as Ashlyn waited for his answer. Either he killed he now and ended this fight, or he let her keep fighting to save him from himself. “You saw him too?” He finally asked, his hair sticking to his face from the rain. His lightsaber retracted then. “The child?”

            “I saw him; I saw us. We lived here, safe and far away from the war. We were happy, we found balance.” Ash explained. “It’s what I’m willing to fight for. You’re never going to come back to the light, and I’m never going to be anything but grey. But we made it work. The Force showed me that. I understand now. Which is why going to the Finalizer is not where I need to be.”

            “Neither is the Resistance.”

“Maybe.” She half-agreed. “I know where home is. Do you?”

            Kylo Ren slowly walked forward, Ash stood her ground as he stood in front of her. She was ready for anything then, for him to force her to go to the Finalizer; maybe even stab her with his lightsaber. What she wasn’t ready for was Kylo Ren to drop his lightsaber in the wet grass; his hands coming up to cup either side of her face and forcefully kissing her. For some reason, that seemed like something that just couldn’t happen. But it did. And in her own act of desperation, Ash kissed him back, dropping her own lightsaber as the rain continued to soak them.

 

* * *

 

            Her legs were wrapped around his waist, his arms tightly around her back as their lips still remained connected. The two Force Users stumbling into the hut, Kylo Ren taking the moment to reposition them as he pushed her against the interior wall. His hips pressed firmly against her as her legs readjusted around his waist tightly. His hands found her wrists, holding both hands captive on either side of her head. Their lips connected as their tongues battled for dominance.

           Every so often, Ren would roll his hips into hers, driving her mad with passion. Starry eyed and filled with lust, he pulled their bodies away from the stability of the wall. Ash was almost certain they wouldn't even make it to the bed. To her surprise, they did.

         Although not exactly gracefully; Kylo Ren placed Ashlyn on the bed and wasted no time finding his way on top of her. Her hands on his top, ripping it open and exposing his bare chest. It wasn't fair, in her mind, how disgustingly good looking he was. He knew it too; she hated that he did.

          Another roll of his hips and Ash moaned into his mouth causing him to moan in return. Little did she know she drove him just as crazy. She was about to find out as his arm snaked behind her back. Ren sat up, bringing Ash forward with him. His hands now finding themselves under her shirt, grabbing hungrily at her chest. She wasted no time removing her shirt altogether.

         Now it was time for his shirt. She grabbed at it once more, cursing under her breath at how ridiculous his Commander uniform was and how difficult it was to remove. Even with some experience at this point, it was still obnoxious.

        So he helped her. With one swift motion, making her feel like a complete jackass, he removed his top. She didn't have time to feel too bad about it as his lips connected with hers again, the two tumbling backwards.

        Kylo pulled at the hem of her pants. The two of them needing this just as much as the other. Before she realized it, they were now naked. Hesitation, a quick beat of hesitation on his face as he pulled back just for a moment to look at her. Their fiery passion slowing for just that quick moment. Their eyes saying exactly what they meant. A silent ‘I love you’ that held just a bit more of a meaning than it ever had. It concealed an apology; it help passion, love, adoration, hate, a bond, companionship. It meant more than they had ever realized as they both gave in to that desire, the consequences would be something they’d deal with in the morning.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh... so you noticed that this chapter is a little on the short side? Feels like it ends a little too abruptly? Well, if you go to tumblr, and look for 'sillyhazard', you'll know it's my tumblr if you see the girl with the avengers tattoo, you can read the full end scene. Please note, I suck at these sort of things, so please dont' be too mad. Also, if you do end up there, I'm a tad bit curious to see how many people read that part, so just leave a like so I can get an idea, please? Anyway... see y'all next time!


	42. Kylo Ren and the Two-Third's Plan

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The aftermath

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Remember when I said "Hey guys, I'm totally going to destroy this canon so please blindly trust me while I do something really, really crazy?" Now's that time. 
> 
> Bear with me while I do some crazy shit.
> 
> Also, thank you guys so much for your comments and those of you who left notes on the extended chapter on tumblr. Y'all are fantastic and I love you guys so much. You make this story. Thank you.

* * *

 

           There were many things about the Force that Ash didn’t understand. In fact, there were things even Kylo Ren didn’t understand either. Within the Force, there came a triangle. That triangle explained how bonds worked. There was a bond of hatred; one that was swiftly forming between the Dark Side and the Light Side of the Force. The bond of friendship, an unbreakable bond between Rey and Ash that felt almost surreal. How two people that had only met once could be so close. The understanding between one side and the other, the girls had everything when  they had each other. Both lost in a sea of power that they couldn’t control, or knew how to control. Girls with no family; their only companion being themselves for the longest of times. Now, brought together to complete a puzzle.

            Then, there was the bond forged through love. A bond that could hold such extreme emotions; like waves breaking against the shore. It was strong. It was consistent, it was a force to be reckoned with. A force that would not be ignored and would not simply fade by the end of the night. That was the bond between Ashlyn Novafall and Kylo Ren. And while they didn’t understand it, while they fought so hard to get away from it… it never did. At the end of the day, it always came back to one thing. They were complete when they had each other. They were whole.

          Ash’s eyes fluttered open to see the precious and delicate sunlight shining onto the cement ceiling of the hut. She felt as though last night was the first day of her life; as though all her nerves began to feel at once, her existence meaningless until then. She had struggled for so long to find that balance between the dark and the light; that simple place of grey that always seemed out of reach, so rocky to stay within. Then, in her darkest hour, she pulled herself back. She pulled herself from the edge and emerged stronger than ever. She showed her true nature, she was strong, she was fierce and she was a protector. A protector of those she loved, even when that person was a giant ball of negative emotion.

         She turned her head slightly to the right to see him sleeping still, his expression looking peaceful, even with the large scar that ran across half of his face and down to his shoulder. Their bodies were tangled together under the sheets, keeping each other warm with their body heat. His arm lazily hanging around her body; gosh, it felt like they were on StarKiller all over again. Two crazy kids in love, running around and hiding that fact from not just everyone else but, themselves as well.  

           Why had it taken them so long to see it; to see everything. She loved him so deeply and so passionately, how had it taken this long to realize it. Even after all the awful things he had done, she loved him. She didn’t forgive him, they both knew that. He wanted her forgiveness, in some capacity, he didn’t need it. He just needed her. And while those bad things he had done still lingered in the air, for the moment, Ash loved him as though nothing else mattered because nothing else did. Not the war, not the rest of the galaxy, not the Resistance, not the First Order. Nothing but the two of them.

           He opened his eyes then, his normally dark eyes were illuminating a more gold color as he looked back at her. The arm was around her waist, pulling her close to him with a swift and easy motion. He wasted no time in kissing her lovingly, oh how he missed the contact. How he missed her and their connection. She missed him all the same, it showed in the way she kissed him back.

            Kylo Ren grinned into their kiss then, it was mischievous and did not go unnoticed by Ashlyn as she pulled away from him just enough to ask. “What is it?” She was afraid of the answer.

            “I think this is the first time we’ve woken up together and you **_didn’t_** panic.”

Ash rolled her eyes, trying to pull away from him more now as he held her even tighter to him. Afraid if he let go, she’d disappear all over again. “You can’t help but ruin a nice moment.” He chuckled, kissing the top of her head. Ash groaned playfully before stretching as much as she could in his arms. Her body aching from their fight and the aftermath. It was a good ache, she knew that. She looked up at him again, examining his face and memorizing each little detail; from beauty mark to the scar. Stars, he was beautiful.

              He didn’t feel that way. He said as much as he frowned, not exactly appreciating the way she was staring, even if she was admiring him. “Your **_friend_** \--” He hated that word. “Did some damage to my face.”

               Ash’s expression matched his. “Don’t do that.” She pleaded. “We were having such a good moment.” Kylo Ren’s body visibly stiffened as he let her go, turning over and removing himself from the bed. “Ben.”

            There it was again, that name. The slip of the tongue; she called him ‘Ben’. He froze. “I let you get away with it the first time.” He warned her. “Do **_not_** say it again.”

            “It’s your name, isn’t it?” She challenged right back.

The two still as their eyes bore into one another, waiting for something, **_anything_** to break this moment. It was when Kylo Ren bent down to grab his clothes before walking out of the room entirely. Ash sighed, their turmoil wasn’t something so easily forgotten. Even now. She sat up, grabbing her own clothes and dressing before heading out into the main area.

              Kylo Ren was nowhere to be found, but holy hell, did they make a mess. The table was still scattered across the floor, underneath it she could make out the book of planets tucked away safely under the destruction. The door was still off the hinges, plates and other objects from the kitchen littered the floor. They left a storm in their wake and the hut was evidence of that.

            Ash walked outside the hut, stepping over the broken door as she did and walked over to the very tense man standing in the field. “Things are changing.” He said sharply. “Things are changing and I need you.” His stare intense as she walked around him, standing in front of him now.

            “How?” She asked, getting lost in the way he said he needed her.

“I can’t tell you.”

            “No, that’s not how this is going to work anymore.” She reprimanded him, something Kylo Ren wasn’t used to or ready for, not from her. “You pushed me away, sent me to another planet because ‘ _you couldn’t tell me’_. That’s not happening again. You want my help, fine. But you need to tell me everything.”

            He glared. The braver Ashlyn became in challenging him, the more of a headache she was for him. “I’m going to kill Snoke.” She knew that. “But I can’t. I can’t do it alone.”

             “And you think the two of us can?”

“No, we can’t either.” Well, that was a deflating thought. “There are these artifacts; Jedi artifacts. It’s the only way we can overpower Snoke. We use them to take as much power as we can from him, and then we kill him.”

            “And where are these artifacts?” He didn’t answer. “You don’t even know.”

Kylo huffed. “It’s why I needed Skywalker.”

            That made things a little complicated. Rey was with Luke now, if they were to go there, she was certain Rey would try and kill Kylo. “How many artifacts are there?”

             “We need three.” Ren explained. Well, at least he had an answer for one of her many questions.

“And we have no idea where they are.” Ash confirmed as Kylo gave her a pointed look. “How do you plan to do this under the First Order’s nose?” It became abundantly clear then that Kylo Ren had half a plan. No, he had maybe two-thirds of a plan. He knew what he needed to do, however, actually doing it was the shaky part. All this time, he seemed to be so calculated; always ten steps ahead. Ash realized, while part of that was true, there was a lot of things Kylo Ren didn’t have the answers to. For once, it made him human to her. He was far from perfect and she was beginning to really understand that. “Work with the Resistance then. If the First Order is our common enemy--”

               “The First Order isn’t our common enemy.” Kylo Ren explained as though it were so obvious. “Snoke is our enemy. There are unfortunately still supporters of Snoke.”

               “But you’re not a Snoke supporter.”

“It’s much more complicated than that.”

            “Is it because of your Mother?” Ash asked, suddenly regretting she had ever done so as Kylo seemed to shut down. “Look, I want to help. I said I was going to be by your side once, and I will again. But we have work to do--” Ash scoffed. “ ** _A lot_** of work to do. With us, this plan; all of it. You need to let me in.”

              Kylo Ren relaxed just enough that Ash knew she had him as she reached forward and touched his arm. “How are we going to do this if you won’t return with me?”

             He had her there. “I’m not sure. But I know that going to the Finalizer is only going to make matters worse. I can feel it.”

              The two locked eyes, a struggle for who was right and who was wrong lied behind them. Neither one had the answer; it felt like no one did. They knew where the problem lied, but how to fix it? Well, there were a lot of things they needed to fix and perhaps that was why neither one could come up with a solution. “We’ll meet here.” Kylo finally offered. “I’m too close to Snoke while on the Finalizer, he could hear us if we try to communicate with our minds or by projecting across the galaxy. We need to meet here.”

            Ash tried to make light of the situation. “So, Maridun is back to being our secret getaway?”

His lips unwillingly curled upward as he reached forward, grabbing the girl and forcing her to his chest. His arms wrapped around her as he held her close. He could love and kill her all the same; she drove him that crazy.

 

* * *

 

            Captain Phasma was grateful for the chrome helmet that covered the blatant distaste on her face as the First Order transport unit docked in the main launch bay of the Finalizer. As Captain of the Storm Troopers, Phasma had to be there to welcome the arrival of all military personnel, even if she hated them with a fiery passion.

            While Phasma believed there was evil in the galaxy; evil people, evil thoughts and actions. No one was truly evil… except for Snoke and Espen Damar. The way he walked down the ramp; the smug expression on his face. Phasma was almost certain she was going to vomit, which would have been unfortunate considering the helmet. “Captain Phasma.”

            “Lieutenant Damar.” Phasma left no pleasantries in her voice.

“It is Lieutenant General Damar now.” He immediately corrected her.

            _Shit, he got promoted_ Phasma thought to herself. “My apologies Lieutenant General.” While on the Finalizer, Phasma was a fish out of water. A Captain didn’t rank as high as Damar’s new status, however she had Kylo Ren to help elevate her. But, Kylo Ren wasn’t here. She was left to deal with Damar herself.

            “I am going to be making a few changes here, Captain.” Damar said in a sickly pleasant tone. “The Supreme Leader has certain expectations and we must follow them accordingly, lest we want to make him angry.”

            “Of course not, sir.” Phasma confirmed with distaste.

“Where is the General and the Commander?” Damar asked with a wicked grin.

            “The General is awaiting your arrival in the debriefing room. Commander Ren is on a mission, but should be returning any day now.” Phasma lied, now praying Ren would come back sooner rather than later. However, if he **_did_** return with Ashlyn, things could get even more complicated.

            “I want to be informed the moment he sets foot back on base, is that clear.” Damar instructed as he marched forward.

            “Crystal.” Phasma replied with her jaw clenched tightly. By the stars, she hated that man.

           

* * *

 

           

            They walked silently through the woods, trying to ignore the destruction around them as they headed for the lake. The pair had left their lightsabers in the wet grass last night and needed to find them. They made it through the treeline and walked out towards the lake, staring at the calm water as Kylo Ren spotted both their lightsabers. He walked forward and grabbed them, attaching his to his belt and idly holding Ash’s in his hand.

             He looked down at it fondly and yet with a hesitation he didn’t really understand. He could feel the power surging through it; a remanence of her that was left behind on the light sword. It was conflicted, but oh-so-very-stable. “I thought I could corrupt you.” Kylo mentioned, still looking at the lightsaber. “Bring you to the dark side with me. I could feel it in you, it was electric; dangerous. I didn’t understand then that you were just pulling it from me. Bringing you to the darkness completely is not where you belong.” He snorted. “Maybe you don’t even belong with me.” He looked up at her, noticing the hesitation on her face as he smirked. “But I think I’m too selfish to ever let you go now.”

            “And I guess I’m just a little too foolish to leave on my own.” She said as Kylo Ren walked over to her, holding out the lightsaber. Ash took it, holding it in her hand for a moment to admire it before attaching it to her belt where it belonged. She looked back up at Kylo Ren. “What are we doing?”

            He frowned. “What do you mean?”

“We’re going in circles.” She said. “Tiptoeing around each other; around who we want the other to be, even though it’s not possible. Could this even work?”

            His frown softened as his hand touched her cheek lovingly. “It’s just a circle for now. Once we figure out our next move we can--” Suddenly, it clicked what Ashlyn was really asking him. He sighed. “You’re afraid I’m going to just abandon you again.”

            Ash grimaced. “Can you blame me?”

“Snoke would have had me kill you if I let you stay. I was afraid of losing you and I still did.” Ren admitted. “I’m not going to let that happen again.”

            “If Snoke wants me dead, then why would you ever want to bring me to the Finalizer?” Kylo hesitated in answering. “Come on, you said you’d be open with me.”

            “He believes you will turn to the dark side. He’s seen it; I’ve seen it.” Kylo said. “However, he doesn’t know you like I do. You’re too stubborn to be easily swayed to our side.”

            Ash grinned. “Good to know my thick head is what’s keeping me from turning to the darkness.”

            Kylo chuckled. “It’s such a tempting idea, having you be on the same side of the Force with me. But, I also think I really enjoy my starshine the way she is. Conflicted and all over the place. I’m attracted to chaos.”

            Ash leaned up and pecked his lips. “That’s the most romantic thing anyone has ever said to me.” She said teasingly.

            Kylo’s hand gently rested under Ashlyn’s chin, tilting her head upward as he smirked. “I’m just a hopeless romantic, I guess.” Ash laughed as he leaned down to capture her lips fully, silencing her laugh as she smiled into their kiss. This was the start of healing, the start of their return home. Yet, temptations were always hard to ignore. Something the two would learn.

 

* * *

 

           

            The two Force Users reluctantly left Maridun and went on their separate ways, back to their home bases. The agreement to meet back on Maridun often was the only thing that kept them hopeful. Perhaps this could work. They could see each other, work out their problems and save the galaxy. What could be more wonderful than that?

            Well, for Kylo Ren, the cloud of euphoria faded quickly upon his arrival back to the Finalizer. He sensed Phasma and Hux were in distress and he didn’t need to read why. He saw the ship that was docked. Damar was back and he was undoubtedly here to cause problems.

            Kylo Ren didn’t wear his helmet anymore. He didn’t need to. People feared him without it; sure the scar helped too. He knew this as he stormed through the halls of the Finalizer and made his way into the debriefing room. As he entered, he noticed the smug expression on Damar’s face along with the very unhappy face of General Hux.

            The door slid behind Ren as he looked at the two men before asking. “Phasma?”

“She’s not needed in this meeting.” Damar explained.

            Kylo Ren reluctantly took a seat across from Damar and closer to Hux. “Why are we needed then?”

            Damar grinned. “There has been a shift in ranks, as I’m sure you’re aware. The Supreme Leader wants results and feels that he is not getting them with those he currently has in charge.”

            Kylo frowned. “So why are you in charge then?”

“I get results.” Kylo snorted at that, receiving a death glare from Damar and a side glance from Hux. Now was not the time for Kylo Ren to misbehave. “The Supreme Leader has asked me to oversee the Finalizer, the First Order and everything that goes on. You will report to me as well as General Hux. I want to know everything you are doing.”

            Kylo Ren wanted nothing more than to throw the newly promoted Lieutenant General across the room and Force choke him until he stopped breathing. However, he knew how much was a stake if he did. Instead, he gritted his teeth and would wait for the day he could really do damage. That time was coming sooner than Damar realized.

 

* * *

 

            “You didn’t bring Ash back.” Hux wasn’t surprised; he wasn’t happy, but he wasn’t surprised. “Did she get away?”

            The two had relocated to Hux’s apartment now where Phasma had been awaiting them. She was aggravated, to say the least, as she stomped around in a pacing pattern. “She’s not going to be returning to the Finalizer, no.” Ren confirmed before snapping at Phasma. “Can you just **_not_**? You’re making me antsy.”

            “I’m making **_you_** antsy?” Phasma scoffed. “Please, Ren. Tell me how my pacing is making you antsy, considering we sit in the dark most of the time awaiting your next move.” Hux made a face as he wished, more than anything, he could run out of the room to avoid the awkward silence. Phasma sighed as she plopped onto the couch with a huff. “I didn’t mean it like that.”

            Kylo Ren clicked his tongue to the roof of his mouth. “No, you did.”

“Children, can we **_please_** get back to the issue at hand.” Hux reprimanded them. “Ash isn’t here, and I’m sure the Commander has a very good reason for it.”

            Your sarcasm is not appreciated.” Kylo said with an eye roll. “Ash will not turn to the dark side, as I had hoped. This also goes against the Supreme Leaders wishes in having her join us. She’s going to take me to Skywalker once she learns where he is, we will get the needed information and you two will move onto your part.”

            “With Damar snooping around, this is going to prove to be difficult.” Phasma said.

“When hasn’t it been difficult?” Hux replied flatly. “I’m still keeping the information from StarKiller as secure as possible. Once Damar catches on, he’ll have the location of the Resistance base and the attack on D’Qar will happen. We need to move, if the Resistance is gone, we won’t have a shot.”

            “When is Ash expected to get us the location to Skywalker?” Phasma asked, noticing Kylo Ren said nothing in reply. “Does she **_know_**?”

            “She does.” Ren cautiously admitted. “I need her to trust me again, otherwise she won’t give me the information. When I meet with her again--”

            “Ren--” Hux interrupted. “Don’t get caught up in this, not again. There’s so much at stake, she must know that. You two can keep doing… whatever it is you’re doing, after we get the needed information. Do not get distracted.”

            Ren glared. “I won’t.” He would. Which became clear when he snuck away three more times over the course of two weeks to meet with Ashlyn.

           

 

* * *

 

             While it was innocent enough, the two meeting up to discuss their part of the plan, there was the risk that came with it. Particularly when others began to notice, such as Lieutenant General Damar. He stared out into the void of space as the TIE Silencer screeched out of the launch bay and into the atmosphere. Dama’s face like stone as he pulled up his commlink to the launch bay. “Follow him.” Almost immediately as his instructions came, two scout ships raced from the bay and towards the direction Ren had left.

            The Supreme Leader had sensed a shift in the Force, the Grey User returning, the Light User awakening and then Kylo Ren; the dark side of it all. He was shifting, becoming his own force of will again. No longer was he under the Supreme Leader’s thumb and that was dangerous.

            He had taken it upon himself to have a contingency plan, should Ren stray from the path he forced him on. It was happening, the Grey User was winning. Her will was stronger than he had anticipated. Now, he needed to squash this before it became worse. That’s when he promoted Epsen Damar. A man who would do anything to get to the top, his hatred of Ren just as vicious. Damar would be the one to keep track of everything Kylo Ren was doing, and with this continuous disappearance, he only confirmed Snoke’s suspicions. The next step was to report his findings once the scouts returned with the information.

 


	43. The Metaphorical "Shit Hits The Fan" Chapter

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shit hits the fan.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Good lord, my sarcasm is now taking over chapter titles. I literally couldn't think of a better name and with the way Kylo Ren and Ash are, I feel like this sarcasm is just fine.
> 
> It's also time for a "Author answers your questions" moment! Between reviews and direct messages, you guys have asked some pretty interested and fun questions! While I'll answer any DM I get, sometimes I do get repeats. So, I'll just assume a few of you might have a similar question. Also, this is totally not a knock against y'all. I really, really, really, really love hearing from you guys, whether in reviews or direct messages. I really do not mind answering things at all so please, don't hesitate to do so.
> 
> Most Asked Question #1 Do you have a posting schedule: Oh good lord, I clearly have no self-control and just post whenever. I'm so sorry about that, guys. If you have a preferred day that I post or want me to slow down even just a little, please let me know. I'm an impulsive person, it shows in my upload speed.
> 
> Most Asked Question #2 The fuck you doin?: Okay, so it wasn't actually asked like that. But it was more of a "How much of the canon does this follow." and as a friendly reminder. I've thrown the canon out the window at this point. Sure, there's a few things here and there that'll pop up. For now, just pretend that TLJ didn't happen... even parts of TFA didn't happen. It's just... a whole new world! *starts horribly singing Disney karaoke*
> 
> Most Asked Question #3 WHY ARE YOU SO MEAN?! LET THEM BE TOGETHER: Patience, dear friends. Patience. As with my posting schedule, I'm really freaking impulsive and sometimes I change things in chapters literally last minute... sometimes right as I'm about to post. This can include if someone lives or dies. What's fun, is that since Ash is an OC, her fate is really in my greedy little hands to do whatever I want with. And if you've read any other of my fanfics on here, you'll know, I like suffering. HOWEVER, and this is a BIG however, I want to once again state... I'm really freaking impulsive and anything goes. So, we could have a happily ever after... or you could all hate me forever. It's really how I feel right as I post.
> 
> But luckily for everyone... I really like Ash and Kylo Ren a lot. So... they are safe... for now.
> 
> ANYWAY. Thank you guys for your amazing reviews, favorites, follows. This story has taken off and is now in the stratosphere. I wasn't prepared for any of this. You have made this story blast off into space and I freaking love you all for it. Remember to keep reviewing, it's the only way I know if you're enjoying the story, or what you hate, and really helps me shift and adapt this story... and quite possibly keep characters alive. I don't know.

* * *

 

They were disappearing at the craziest of hours in an attempt to not be caught. It was a rush for both for the Force Users, being able to hide their relationship again and sneaking away from their respective sides. Each time growing dangerously close to being caught and yet each time they got away with it.

            The routine was the same, both would arrive, talk about their plan to end Snoke, and then end up tangled in sheets. Both ignorant to the rest of the Galaxy; they’d be damned if they were going to let anything stop them this time. It was what they had, the only time they had.  

             However, guilt began to takeover Ashlyn. What were they doing? She was literally sleeping with the enemy, the same man that murdered his father, almost killed Poe, and countless of other things she couldn’t be bothered to bring up. It was a guilt that weighed her down each time she arrived on Maridun, a guilt that was erased the moment she saw him, and then showed its ugly head once more when she left.

            They were just kids in love; that’s what any outsider would have said about the situation had they known. And by the stars, they could not get enough of each other.

            Ash was curled up by Kylo Ren’s side as he sat with his back against the wall where the bed rested. They two tangled up in sheets as she rested her head on his chest, listening to his heart beating peacefully. His arm wrapped firmly around her back, holding her close to him as they idly lied there. His hand finding her red locks and gently running through them. Something he missed doing.

            Ash giggled, bringing them out of their silent bliss. “We didn’t even talk about the plan this time around, did we?” She asked, realizing they skipped their typical steps and went straight to bed.

            He grinned. “No, I suppose we didn’t.” He clearly didn’t mind.

“Damar still being a pain?” He had told Ash about Damar’s return and how that changed things quite a bit. They’d have to move soon, both knew that. Time was of the essence and they needed to get to Skywalker.

            “You have no idea.” He replied dryly. “Did you get the map?” Ash hesitated, he sensed it. “Starshine, we talked about this.”

            “I know.” Ash groaned. “I know, I know, **_I know_**. I haven’t heard from Rey and I want to let her know we’re coming so she doesn’t try and kill you.” He hated when Ash talked about Rey; especially so fondly. It was a weird jealousy thing; also he really just hated the scavenger with a burning passion.

            “We might not have a choice soon.” He reminded her as calmly as possible.

Ash shifted, looking up at him as he looked down at her. “Tell me again why we’re doing all this?”

            “For starters, we need the artifacts to defeat Snoke.” Kylo began, rolling over so he was now on top of Ash. “And I want to not have to sneak around for the rest of our lives.”

            Ash was grinning. “Oh, is that all?”

“What more do you need?” He teased.

            She laughed. “Everything.”

Ren grinned, leaning down and kissing her. “And I’d love to give you everything.” He had been more open with Ashlyn, telling her different aspects of what was going on back on the Finalizer. Honesty wasn’t his strong point; or rather, it wasn’t when he had nothing to gain from it. Now, he had no choice but to earn Ashlyn’s trust again. “Contact the scavenger. Tell her we’re coming.”

            “And that you’ll behave.”

He rolled his eyes. “Whatever helps you sleep at night, Starshine.”

            Ash leaned up, pecking his lips quickly. “You help me sleep at night.” Stars, he could melt into her right now. The way she smiled; the way she made him feel. It drove him crazy in the best of ways.

            His hand slid up her bare leg; Ash gasped at the sudden contact. “You know that’s not true.” A mischievous glint in his eye as he leaned down to capture her lips again. Things were good, things were so very, very good.

 

* * *

 

           

            Ash felt like she was getting away with murder not having been caught yet. Returning to the Resistance was almost too easy, no one seemed to really question her coming and going so frequently. Which, in honesty, was probably for the better. She headed straight for her room; almost home free as her hand touched the door frame of her apartment. “Oh, Ashlyn. Good, you’re back.” **_Fuck._** Ashlyn forced a smile as she turned to see an unamused Leia Organa. “I need to speak with you if you have a moment.” Unable to come up with an excuse not to, Ash quickly took a deep breath and followed Leia down the hallway and towards her office. “Have you heard from Rey?”

            Ash shook her head, hoping that this was all Leia was going to ask. “Not yet. I was planning on contacting her once I returned.”

            Leia nodded, the door to her office opening as Leia gestured for Ash to walk inside. Reluctantly, she did. The door slid closed once both women entered the office, Leia pointed to the seat as she took her own. Ash nervously sat. “So--” Leia began. “How is my son?”

            Ash’s face dropped. “I--” She stuttered. “I’m not sure what you’re talking abo--”

“Ashlyn.” Leia gave her a knowing look. “You forget my lineage. I’m not a Force User but I am sensitive to it. I’m also sensitive to whatever it is my son is feeling, even still after all that’s happened. A mother and son bond is hard to break.” Well, there was no sense in lying to Leia any longer. “I sense a very dramatic shift in the Force, what’s happening?”

             Ash shrugged, feeling like a teenager caught sneaking out to see her boyfriend. Granted, the person she was caught by was his very own mother. It was a strange conversation to be had. “I’m his light.” As though the answer itself were so simple. “I know it doesn’t excuse what he’s done; to Poe--” Ash said. “To Han.” She watched Leia’s expression drop ever-so-slightly. “But he’s not a danger to himself, or to anyone, when I’m with him. You said so yourself, you’ve sensed it.”

            Her tone changed to a more warning one. “If I can sense it, then there are others; stronger Users, who can as well.”

            Ash felt her heart drop into her stomach. Perhaps it was still early and maybe Snoke hadn’t caught on. “Leia, I need a favor now more than ever.”

            Leia was desperate to have her son back; desperate to help Ash and desperate to save the Resistance. “Anything.”

             “I need the map to Skywalker.” Okay, that may have been a stretch for Leia. “I know, it sounds really suspicious. Believe me, I thought so too. However, we need it. He needs it. Luke has information about these artifacts that can take down Snoke once and for all.”

            Leia couldn’t give up the information to Luke. She had been burned by her son before; Ashlyn was too innocent, too caring to see right through his plan. Maybe she was right, maybe he was changing and she was the light that kept him at peace. Either way, it was too much of a gamble. A gamble Leia couldn’t take. “I’m sorry, Ashlyn.” She said. “I don’t feel like we can trust him, not yet. The wounds from what he has done to his father, the Resistance-- all of it. It’s too much to ask of me right now. If he is changing sides, then I need to see it. He needs to surrender to the Resistance.”

           “Leia--” Ash was ready to try and convince her otherwise when suddenly as a voice intruded into her mind, in a state of panic as it ripped through her thoughts ‘ _MARIDUN. NOW.’_

            Now, Leia was concerned as she saw the complete and utter terror wash over the red haired girl in front of her. “Ashlyn?”

           Ash quickly got up from her seat. “I have to go, I’m sorry I--” She tried to say before she bolted out the door. ‘ _What’s going on?!’_

_‘NO TIME.’_

“Fuck!” Ash hissed as she made a break for the shipyard.

* * *

  


            Kylo Ren had returned to the Finalizer; his ship landing in the launch bay. He disembarked the ship only to be met with by three Troopers. “Commander, your presence is requested by Lieutenant General Damar.”

            **_Great_**. He said nothing to the Troopers as he continued on his way to meet with Damar. The man walked down the main hallway, ready to deal with whatever bullshit was coming his way. However, as he walked, he began to notice a lot more Storm Troopers in the area than typical. In fact, they were following him. He was certain of it.

            The paranoia didn’t cease as he turned down another hallway, to the four hall cross section to see Damar, followed by Storm Troopers. He pointed at Kylo Ren. “Commander Ren.” He was grinning. “You are wanted for treason against the First Order and to be disposed of **_immediately._** ” His words opened the floodgates as suddenly Troopers began to fire not on Kylo Ren, but the Troopers with Damar. The hallway became a full out war zone in that moment as Kylo Ren made for the nearest exit.

            Kylo Ren turned down the hall to his right as blasters echoed behind him. His boots connecting with the hard floor, thudding down the hallway as he tried to get away. They knew this would happen, they were ready for it to happen. However, it wasn’t **_supposed_** to happen yet. There was so much at stake and now they had no choice but to fight. He had to get off the Finalizer, it was the only chance for the plan.

              “Sir! This way!” A Trooper yelled, waving him towards the launch bay. He was one of Phasma’s, of that he was certain as he followed the Trooper. The two turning a corner to be met with more Troopers, ones that were not in Phasma’s battalion. With a wave of his hand, he Force Pushed them back to make a clear path as he continued to run. ‘ _ASH’_ He tried to focus his thoughts. ‘ _MARIDUN. NOW_.’ Of course, she wouldn’t listen right away as he ran into the launch bay. ‘ _NO TIME_.’

            War broke out inside the launch bay between Troopers and First Order Personnel. It was mass chaos as Troopers fought against Troopers, some unsure who they were even supposed to be firing at. He looked around at the chaos, noting where the side he wanted to be on was as he ran over to it, sliding behind a few cargo boxes. “Commander, you must get off base.” A Trooper informed him. “We’ll cover you, get to your ship!”

            Ren looked to where his TIE Silencer was. It was quite the distance, he’d have to make a break for it. With an aggravated deep breath, Kylo Ren booked it for the TIE Silencer. Blasters firing from each and every direction as he ran. He was suddenly hit in the side by one, causing him to fall in the open space, the Silencer within reach yet so far. The plan seemed doomed as four enemy Troopers began to close in on him.

            Rapid fire; the Troopers were downed immediately as very stressed out ginger walked forward towards Kylo Ren, his blaster still raised as he held out his hand for the Force User. Kylo Ren took it as Hux helped him stand. “You need to go.” Hux informed him, firing at the Troopers behind him.

            “What about you and Phasma?”

Hux smirked. “Worried about us, Ren?” He fired again, the two running out of time. “We will take it from here; get Ash. Finish this.”

            Kylo Ren hesitated for a moment before nodding at Hux and running to the Silencer. He boarded the ship and took off as quickly as he could, leaving the war zone behind.

 

* * *

 

            Ash stood in the grassy field on Maridun, staring up at the sky and waiting for any sign of Kylo Ren. Something was wrong, she knew that from the panic in his voice when he tried to contact her. She was afraid of the worst possible thing the longer she waited, she couldn’t feel him. That worried her even more.

            Her eyes scanned the sky; waiting for something, **_anything_** when The TIE Silencer broke into the atmosphere and through the skyline. With a sigh of relief, Ash felt herself calm down just a little bit as the ship landed.

            Kylo Ren exited the ship with haste as Ash ran over to him, wrapping her arms around him as he returned the gesture. His side throbbing, but he couldn’t let her worry about that. They needed to get far away from here. “What’s going on?” Ash asked.

            “We need to go to Skywalker, **_now_**.” He said abruptly.

“Whoa, slow down, first tell me what happened.” Ash tried to not sound too demanding.

            Before Kylo Ren could say anything further, the sound of TIE fighters breaking into the atmosphere caught them off guard. “We have to go.” He pulled away from her.

            Ash looked up, seeing the TIE fighters flying towards their location. “What the **_hell_** did you do?!” She yelled, realizing they were not friendly as they began to fire down on the field.

            “Get in the ship, Ash!” Kylo shouted, racing for the Silencer. There was no way the two of them could fit comfortably, but then again, her transport unit had no guns. It was that or nothing. Ash followed him to the Silencer, cramming in behind him as the ship screeched into the sky, giving her no time to adjust as Kylo took off.

            “This is insanity, this is absolute madness, what the hell did you do to the First Order?!” Ash demanded answers now. “Why are they shooting at us!?”

            Kylo Ren’s eyes narrowed. “Hold on.” He spun the ship wildly, trying to evade the TIE fighters as Ash laughably held on as best she could. “There was a problem.” He explained quickly, shooting at the TIE Fighters and trying to get out of the atmosphere.

            Ash scoffed. “No shit! There’s **_clearly_** a problem!”

“Damar found out somehow; tried to kill me.” He fired again.

            “Fantastic.” Ash replied sarcastically.

“Instead of being pissed off at me--” He recommended flatly, shooting at one of the TIE Fighters that followed him. “How about you find Skywalker so we have a place to go!” It wasn’t a suggestion.

            Glaring, Ash tried to focus as best should could in the ship that spun chaotically. While Kylo Ren was an excellent pilot, it didn’t help that she wasn’t exactly safely sitting in the ship with him. ‘ _Rey?!’_ She called out to the Force. ‘ _Rey, I need you.’_ Her focus shaky as she tried to connect with the other Force User.

            “Ash--” Kylo was getting impatient, not just with her but with the fact that they were in deep trouble right now as they rocketed out into space, followed by the fighters. “Any day now.”

            “I’m trying!” Ash snapped. ‘ _Rey, please! I need you!’_

_‘Ash?’_

_‘Oh, thank the maker. Rey, I need to get to Skywalker. It’s an emergency.’_

_‘Get to Skywalker how? We’re not exactly on a known planet!’_

The ship rocked, the left wing was hit by one of the guns on an enemy fighter. ‘ _Imagine the map, send me a visual of it. I can get there from that. Please! We’re running out of time!’_

_‘We’re?’_

_‘REY!’_ The Silencer spun, avoiding another blast as Kylo Ren turned the ship around to get a better shot at the last two TIE Fighters.

            ‘ _Okay, okay! Here!’_ Soon, Ash was able to see the map as clear as day. It was an unknown constellation to her, but she had to try and find it anyway as she projected it to Kylo Ren.

            “We need to get out of here.” Ash looked out the cockpit window, seeing the chaos before her.

“I’m well aware, Starshine.” He mumbled, firing and blasting one of the fighters and destroying it.

            The Silencer control panel began to blip, Ash knew exactly what that warning was. “They’ve locked on to us!”

            “Working on it.” Ren said through gritted teeth as he fired, another TIE fighter exploded. They had one more to go. The Silencer screeching and spinning as he expertly fought to get out of range of the TIE Fighter. Once he was, he knew what he had to do. “Hold on!”

             “To what?!” The ship made a quick and sudden dive, Ash grabbed onto the seat in front of her as tightly as she could as Kylo Ren brought the ship back around, getting the TIE Fighter in sight. With a quick smirk, he fired.

             The fighter exploding before them as they flew through the explosion, the ship shaking as Kylo Ren evened the Silencer out. “There, piece of cake.”

            Ash punched the back of his seat. “Not really!” Ren focused on the image of the map that Ash was given, inputting in the coordinates into his ship as Ash continued to yell and reprimand him for everything that happened in the past five minutes. He wasn’t listening. That only made things worse as the ship entered warp speed.

            “Hey, I got us out of it!

“Yeah and now we’re heading to…” She paused, trying to think of the name of the planet. “Ahch-To, wherever the hell that is, and Rey is going to kill me because I didn’t get to warn her about you coming.”

            “Just trust me that this will all work out, okay?”

Ash scoffed. “Trust you? You expect me to trust you right now?”

            “Yes.” He answered simply. “You’ve blindly done it before.”

Ash rolled her eyes. “Go to hell, Ren.”

            He grumbled. “Love you too, Starshine.”

* * *

  


            Damar stood in his new office on the Finalizer, the hologram of the Supreme Leader before him as he stood at attention. “The traitors have escaped.” He tried to keep his composure, unsure of how the Supreme Leader would react to the news. “Any remaining traitors have been eliminated, however, as I feared, this has been an uprising in the making. They were organized, we were not prepared for it.”

            “Where is Ren now?”

“We are not sure. The TIE Fighters we sent after him are confirmed destroyed.”

            “Track the ship he took, I want him found.” Snoke growled. “And any traitors of the First Order; find them. Kill them all.”

            Damar nodded. “I’ve also received information about the Resistance base on D’Qar. We are preparing for an attack as we speak. We will crush them, you have my word.”

 


	44. Ahch-To

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ash and Kylo Ren end up on Ahch-To... and Rey isn't really happy about it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You guys are the best and I'm so glad you haven't abandoned ship over this whole "Author derailed this story and totally doing whatever the hell she wants" thing. Thank you guys, as always. Remember to comment, it's also the only way I know what you guys are feeling and what you like/hate. Aaaaand here we go!

* * *

 

Ash was leaning over Kylo Ren’s shoulder as she messed with the console of the Silencer. Unbeknownst to her the pain she was causing him thanks to the blaster shot in his side. He hid it well as he bit the inside of his lip, nearly drawing blood. “Is this **_really_** something you need to do now?”

            “Yes.” Ash grunted, pulling out wires from the console. “First Order ships have trackers in them. It’s already enough that I’m taking **_you_** to Ahch-To, last thing we need is an army following us.”

            He exhaled sharply. “Are you going to be angry with me this entire trip?”

Ash ripped more wires from the console, staring at them in her hand before smiling sarcastically sweet at Kylo Ren. “Yes.” Normally, he would have extended the courtesy to warn her that the ship was about to exit hyperspace. Instead, he let it happen without so much as a peep. The ship came to a quick halt, Ashlyn flew forward and was now sprawled out on the console and his lap. He grinned as Ash groaned. “You suck.”

            “Get back behind me, I have to land this thing.” He instructed as the ship approached Ahch-To. Ash returned to her original position behind Kylo Ren, but not before spewing obscenities in his direction as the ship broke the atmosphere. Suddenly, Ash went quiet as the two stared at the beautiful, green island, surrounded by massive ocean before them. “Planets always get a reaction out of you.” Ren mused.

            “As someone who didn’t have the means to travel; they’re quite a wonder.” She replied almost breathlessly. “I wish I had the planet book right now.”

            “I don’t think this planet is in there.” Kylo admitted as the ship flew over the planet once before Kylo Ren found a place to dock. It was unfortunately near a very awful and familiar piece of junk that he wished he’d never have to lay his eyes on ever again. He looked out at the empty area before him, knowing that they weren’t alone. “You should go out first.”

            Ash gave him a pointed look before climbing over him and pushing up on the release hatch. She peeked out of the released hatch, only to immediately duck as a blaster shot barely missed her head. “Hey! It’s me!” Ash yelled, standing up again. “It’s me! Don’t shoot!”

            Behind some of the natural rock formations came the familiar Wookie and the other Force User. “Ash?” Rey called out, somewhat confused. What the hell was Ash doing in a First Order ship? Ash climbed out of the Silencer and was, very happily, on the ground. Rey and Chewbacca came out of hiding and walked over to the girl. Ash and Rey immediately hugged each other, as though they had been away for thousands of years. “Is everything okay? You had me worried.”

            “Yes and no… there’s a lot I need to talk to you about.” Ash admitted.

With that, Chewie roared angrily. Rey looked behind Ash to see Kylo Ren getting out of the Silencer now. She pulled away and began storming over to the ship, raising her blaster. “Murderous snake!” She shouted.

            “Wait, wait, wait!” Ash yelled, chasing after Rey as she walked towards Kylo Ren who had just jumped down from the ship.

            “Why is he here?!” Rey shouted accusingly, the blaster still aimed for the smirking Kylo Ren. Stars, he did not make anything easy, did he?

“That’s what I need to talk to you about.” Ash said, sliding between the two Force Users, in an attempt to bring peace. “We need to talk to Luke.”

            “I’m not going to let him anywhere **_near_** Master Skywalker.” Rey snarled, her eyes like daggers as she glared at Kylo Ren.

“He still goes by that title?” Ren feigned shock. “I’m surprised considering his failures as a Master and all that.”

            “You are **_not_** helping.” Ash muttered as Rey was ready to fire her blaster into the man’s face.

Chewie roared again, everyone stopping for a moment as Kylo Ren frowned. “I take offense to that.”

            “He’s not wrong.” Rey snapped. “You don’t belong here, you killed your own father. Why are we even having this argument?” She looked at Ash with pleading eyes. “We could end this now, end all the problems that the First Order has caused by ending him.”

            “Well--” Ren scoffed. “That would be a waste considering I’m their number one enemy at the moment.”

            Rey’s face dropped as Chewie moaned. “Wait, what?”

Ash grimaced. “That’s what I’m trying to tell you… he’s kind-of on our side now.”

            “Kind-of?” Rey asked skeptically. “You can’t just **_kind-of_** be on a side.”

“Ash does it all the time, don’t you, Starshine?” Kylo retorted somewhat mockingly.

            Ash glared. “You know what, go ahead and shoot him.”

Before anything could escalate any further into chaos, a man in a long robe descended down the hill. “Children, that is enough.” The group stopped, turning to see the man with the crazy beard come forward. He removed his hood and stared intensely at Ashlyn and Kylo Ren. “It looks like things are a lot worse than you made them out to be, Rey.”

            Rey was back to  glaring at Kylo Ren again. “I didn’t realize **_he_** was going to be coming too.”

“We were under attack by the First Order.” Ash explained as best she could. “We needed somewhere to go; a safe place to figure all of this out. We had nowhere else to go.”

            Luke studied Ashlyn for a moment, knowing she was being sincere in her words, however, was there a hidden ulterior motive that even she didn’t know about? “Grey Users are interesting in many ways.” Luke began. “Mainly because you’re completely lost in not having a place within the Force; always struggling to find your purpose in all of it.”

            Ash was stunned. “Not having a place?” She looked back at Kylo before returning her attention to Luke. “I thought being Grey was a part of the Force?”

            “Grey is an anomaly, only brought into play when things are not balanced between the Light and Dark. Grey Users are not supposed to exist otherwise, things are much worse than we realized.” He wasn’t meaning to be malicious; he was stating a truth. A truth he had a feeling Kylo Ren didn’t give her. A truth that Ash needed to hear; a truth they all needed to hear.

            Ash sunk into herself then as Rey spoke. “So, what do we do now?”

“They’re already here.” Luke said. “Might as well listen to what they have to say.” He turned and began to walk up the rather steep hill he came from.

            Rey looked to Ash, almost apologetically. “I don’t think he meant it like that. He can be a little--”

            “He’s an asshole.” Kylo chimed in.

Rey glared at him before softening her expression as she wrapped her arm around Ash’s shoulder. “I feel like we have a lot to talk about. Come.” The two girls began to walk away, following in Luke’s lead.

            Kylo Ren watched as the girls walked further away from him. A twinge of jealousy followed by a small sentiment of guilt. Sure, he had told Ash she had a place in this. She did. But it was a little more complicated than that. She existed because the Force needed a fail safe. Otherwise, she shouldn’t exist. It wasn’t natural in the way things were. Yet, to Kylo Ren, she was everything and he was royally screwing that up. Chewbacca roared, shaking his blaster at him. Ren’s eyes narrowed. “Your threat has no merit considering you’ve already shot me once.” Walking with Chewbacca to the small village at the top of the island was probably the most uncomfortable walk of his life.

* * *

  


            Ash and Rey walked through the small village made of rock huts where a reptilian species had inhabited; they looked like little old ladies in robes to Ashlyn. “These are the Lanai, they’re caretakers of this island.” Rey explained. “And… they hate me.”

            Ash grinned. “I’m sure they don’t--” She saw their glares as the two walked by, the girls exchanged glances before laughing. “Okay, they might hate you.”

            “I told you.” Rey said with a smile of her own as the two entered one of the rock huts. Ash looked around small hut; seeing Rey’s stuff packed ever so neatly in the corner. “How is everyone back on D’Qar?” Rey asked, sitting down on a pile of rocks. Ash realized, there really was not much in the way of seating except for said rocks. She copied the other Force User and sat on a different formation of rocks.

            “They’re good.” Ash said. “They’re planning their next move.” Ash realized then, she wasn’t actually asking about the Resistance as a whole. “Finn was still asleep when I left. He’s going to be fine, they said.”

            Rey nodded, looking down at her lap. “He’s like that because of Kylo Ren, you know.”

And the guilt just kept piling on. “I know.”

            “And you brought him here.”

“I did.”

            Rey frowned now. “Why?”

Ash pursed her lips, trying to figure out how to explain something she didn’t even think **_she_** understood. “I need you to trust me that I know what I’m doing.” Gosh, she was really sounding like Kylo Ren lately. “We want to take down Snoke. It’s the only way to bring order back to the Galaxy.”

            Rey let her finish before asking the question Ash didn’t think of. “Is bringing order to the Galaxy something he wants too?”

            Ash frowned, not at her but at the thought. “Yes, of course.” She answered. “We need to stop Snoke first, before anything else. That’s why we came to find Skywalker. He has knowledge about these artifacts… I’m honestly not really too sure about what they are, but they’re apparently going to help.”

            “So, you don’t actually know what the plan is?” Rey deduced from the awkward explanation.

            “Not fully, but it’s a start.” Rey sighed, growing more and more unsure about all of this. “Rey--” Ash began. “I know you don’t trust him. You have no reason to, but I’m hoping you can trust me. I believe he’s telling the truth. You know we need to take down Snoke and we need all the help we can get. Help us.”

            Rey was stuck; she knew deep down that trusting Ash was something she could easily do. She had been blindly trusting her all along and now Ash was asking her to do something she didn’t know if she could even do. Yet, the truth remained. Snoke needed to be eliminated and they had to do it together. “If he does anything, and I mean **_anything_** suspicious… I’m going to kill him.”

            “You and me both.” Ash retorted, receiving a half-smile from Rey.

 

* * *

 

            Rey showed Ash the hut she could stay in for the time being, reluctantly agreeing that Kylo Ren could stay there too. Between back and forth arguing from Kylo and Rey, Kylo saying something completely inappropriate along the lines of ‘ _It’s not the first time we’ve slept together’_ , which caused Ash to die of embarrassment, Rey to yell at how disgusting he was and storm out of the hut, and Chewbacca to roar and roll his eyes as he followed Rey, but not before glaring at Kylo Ren warningly.

            “Can you **_please_** behave!” Ash begged him once they were alone.

“I am behaving.” He said with disinterest as he began to remove his top.

            Ash glared. “If that’s you behaving, then I don’t want to see you misbehaving.” He snorted as his top came off. That was when Ash saw the dry blood and open wound on his side. “What happened?” Her voice soft.

            “I got shot.” As though it were so obvious.

Ash walked over to him, looking at the angry wound. “Why didn’t you say anything? We should have looked at this sooner.”

            “I was a little busy trying to get you to a safe place.” Ren snapped, immediately regretting he had done so as Ash winced slightly.

            “And I appreciate that.” She admitted truthfully. She did; she appreciated that for once he wasn’t so lost in a selfish thought, but actually did something for someone else’s well-being. “But it’s not one sided like that. I get it, you’re concerned for my safety, but don’t forget that I’m concerned about yours.” He frowned, but more so at himself. “We need to bandage you up.” Ash began to head for the door, Kylo Ren stopped her, his arm reaching out and wrapping around her as he pulled her close; ignoring the pain in his side as he did. She looked up at him, noting the reluctance in his expression. Not that he didn’t want to say it, he just didn’t know how. It was a silent apology. Instead, he leaned down and kissed her. Ash smiled slightly. “Be good while I get bandages.”

            He rolled his eyes. “Yes, Starshine.” When he was certain Ash was a good distance away, he inhaled sharply, his back still to the door. “While she may not be strong enough to sense you, I am. You can come out now.” Luke Skywalker entered the hut then. “Are you here to tell me how disappointed you are in me?”

            “No.” His one word answers were frustrating. “But, I am here to tell you that the artifacts are not on this island.”

            Ren rolled his eyes as he walked over to the bed, plopping down on it and wincing at the pain in his side. “Figured.” He hissed slightly.

            “Your distaste for Rey is blatantly obvious; you know you’re going to need her too, right?”

“Ash can use the other artifact.” Ren answered flatly. “She has light in her.”

            Luke frowned. “Ben, she’s Grey. That’s not how she was made to work. The Force created her because you and Rey can’t do this alone. Balance is needed, the Light, the Dark and the Grey, to defeat the Darkest part of the galaxy. You know the legend.”

            Kylo Ren rolled his eyes. “Stories from crazy, old, dead men told centuries ago.”

“Yet, you believe them. You wouldn’t be here otherwise.” Luke saw through him.

            Ren glared. “What do you want from me?”

“I want you to do the right thing.” Luke said. “I failed you, Ben; I’m sorry for that. Don’t fail them.”

            He said nothing as Luke quietly left the hut. Sure, things had gone completely and horribly wrong between Kylo Ren and his Uncle. That was in the past, at least, a past Kylo Ren wanted to desperately destroy. However, he had a new purpose now. He had to stop the Darkest part of the galaxy; bring together the Grey, the Dark and the Light to do so. Granted, he wished he didn’t need to the Light User. Stars, he really hated Rey. But, unfortunately, Luke was right. He couldn’t fail them. No, Rey didn’t matter. No one else mattered. He couldn’t fail Ash.

Ash stumbled back into the hut, holding bandages and a bottle of something he was afraid to ask about. “Those Lanai creatures really don’t like me. I didn’t do anything to them, I swear!” He snorted as she walked over to him, crouching down in front of him and began soaking the bandage with the mysterious liquid. “But, they seem to be willing to help when asked. I guess that’s a good sign.” She looked at his wound hesitantly. “I don’t know if this is going to hurt so… sorry.”

            “Just do it.” He grumbled; hissing as the wet bandage made contact with his bruised and bloodied skin. She muttered a few more apologies before cleaning the wound fully. The remaining bandages she used to cover the wound, wrapping him up as best she could.

            “There.” She said with an accomplished smile, looking back up at Ren. “Not so bad, right?”

            “Don’t quit your day job to become a nurse.” He teased with a smirk.

Ash laughed. “Didn’t plan on it.” She saw his smirk drop almost instantly; something was bothering him. She could feel it. “What’s wrong?”

            “Aren’t you the least bit concerned about all this? That I’m going to fail you; fail with whatever it is I’m trying to accomplish?” He asked; Luke clearly got to him.

A beat of silence passed through the hut as Ash looked at him. “You could never fail me.” She replied as though even the concept of him failing her was impossible. “If anything, I’m worried I will fail **_you_**. That I won’t be strong enough to help you. I only exist for whatever the Force needs me for--”

            “He’s wrong.” Kylo Ren interrupted, slightly annoyed but mostly at Luke for even suggesting such a thing. “You don’t exist just because of the Force or whatever it is the Force has planned for you; for us.”

            Ash avoided his gaze then, looking down at her hands and the semi-empty bottle of mysterious antibiotic liquid. “It’s just weird hearing someone say I have a purpose and that my life is almost meaningless otherwise.”

            Painfully, Ren leaned forward, his hand under her chin and forcing her to look up at him. “Your existence isn’t meaningless. It means something to me. You complete me.” He assured her. “And that means more than some stupid prophecy can ever.” Ash smiled, feeling an overwhelming sense of love, purpose; something wonderful that she hadn’t felt so sure about. It was real, it was so very real right then and there. She knew it in the very depths of her being. “We have a busy day ahead of us. We should rest.”

            Ash nodded, pulling herself to her feet and climbing into the small bed with Kylo Ren, careful to not touch his wounded side. “This is probably a bad idea considering you’re hurt.” She laughed.

            “You know me--” He sighed. “Full of bad ideas.”

“The worst ideas.” She agreed teasingly as she snuggled as much as she could into his side. “Goodnight.”

            “Goodnight, Starshine.”

 


	45. The Light, The Dark and the Grey Between It All

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ash tries to learn everything she can about the stones and taking down Snoke. Meanwhile, the two other Force Users prove to be an unmovable force.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII have no notes. You guys know you're awesome. Remember to comment, it's the only way I know if you guys love or hate it or both.

* * *

 

                   Ash opened her eyes, feeling something strange in the room as her eyes locked on this very small and furry creature that was lying on Kylo’s chest. She stared at it; big eyes and small beak, it reminded her of a bird mixed with a pudgy little cat or something. “Get it off me before I kill it.” He said quietly and as calmly as possible.

                  Ash smiled, sitting up as she picked up the little creature that was lying on Kylo’s chest so peacefully. “I think it’s cute, whatever it is.”

He sighed. “You would.” With a grunt, he sat up. His side still sore, but he’d live.

                  “How do you feel?”

“Fine.” Short answers were always better when it came to hiding his pain. The creature chirped, the noise sounding like a siren, but a little quieter. “Stars, it’s annoying too.”

                  Ash rolled her eyes, holding the little thing in her hand as Kylo Ren put his shirt back on. “We should name it.”

Ren frowned as he adjusted his shirt. “No, once you name it, you won’t get rid of it.”

                   “You are so grumpy, you know that?” Ash replied, sticking her tongue out. “No fun allowed on Ahch-To.” The little creature flapped its wings, chirping at Kylo Ren. “He doesn’t like you either.”

            He gave her a pointed look. “Can we go start our day please?”

Ash grinned, taking the creature with her as the two got ready. Upon leaving the hut, one Force User beaming, the other glaring menacingly, and a cute bright eyed creature that chirped loudly.

            Outside the huts sat Rey, cleaning her blaster as Chewie stood idly by her side, perking up when he saw the two new faces. He roared, looking at Ash thoughtfully before glowering at Kylo Ren. Something he’d just simply have to get used to at this point. “Morning!” Ash said with a smile, holding out her new, puffy friend in her hand. “The heck is this thing?”

            “That’s a Porg.” Rey informed her. “They’re native to this island too; vermin if you ask me. They’re everywhere and very annoying.”

            “Finally, something the scavenger and I agree on.” Ren noted distastefully. Rey glared.

“Well, I think he’s cute.” Ash interrupted what could have been a fight as she placed the Porg on her shoulder. The Porg chirped as Ash wandered over to Rey, sitting down next to her. “So, what’s the plan?” She was asking the group as a whole, hoping someone had an answer.

            “For starters, **_he_** could tell us what’s going on.” Rey spat at the thought of him.

Ash looked at Kylo Ren for some help in the situation. “Please?”

            Kylo Ren rolled his eyes as he began to walk over to where Ash and Rey were sitting. Chewie roared, not liking the gesture as Kylo Ren was forced to sit across from them, keeping his distance thanks to the angry Wookie. “We’re taking down Snoke.”

            “Got that part.” Rey replied dryly.

He narrowed his eyes at the scavenger. “We need three artifacts to do so. However we don’t know where they are and unfortunately, Luke is the only one who can guide us.”

            “Why is that unfortunate?” Rey asked, perplexed with his wording.

Kylo smiled sarcastically. “I’d rather not have to ask him for anything, scavenger.”

            Rey snapped. “Call me scavenger one more time--”

“Okay!” Ash yelled, interrupting the two as the Porg on her shoulder chirped. “Explain why we need these artifacts.” He was still glaring. “Please.” She was getting tired of saying the word.

            In that moment, he hated that he’d do anything for her. He’d rather not have to bring the scavenger along and finish his mission with Ash. Unfortunately, that wasn’t possible. “There are three stones made from kyber crystals; they were used centuries ago by some of the first Force Users. Created in the image of Light, Dark and Grey; each with their own unique abilities.” Ash was genuinely interested, staring intently as Kylo Ren told the story. Rey, although she would never admit that Kylo Ren was doing something interesting, was also intrigued. “Combine them? They create something truly special.”

            “These will help us defeat Snoke?” Rey asked, trying to hide some of the skepticism in her tone, but failing miserably.

“Snoke is something different; he’s ancient. He’s lived through centuries within the darkest parts of the Force. We can’t beat him on our own.” Ren explained.

            Ash nodded, trying to sound somewhat hopeful. Mostly to keep the Light and Dark users from killing each other. “Great, so where do we start in finding them?”

He shrugged. “He has no clue.” Rey remarked. “He doesn’t know and who’s to say he’s even telling the truth?”

            “He is.” A voice said; the group turned to see Luke finally exiting his hut. “However, you three, even with the stones, are far from ready to take on Snoke.”

            Ash made a face. “But, with them we can?”

Luke snorted. “No.” Ash’s hope suddenly dropped almost as fast as her face did. “You won’t be able to wield the stones if you are not worthy of them. Light, Dark and Grey; you need to know your place in all this.”

            Rey looked hopeful still, she was getting used to Luke’s harsh way of teaching things. “Can you teach us?”

Kylo Ren scoffed. “He can’t teach anyone.” The two were now arguing across the way at each other, ready to kill the other at a moment’s notice.

            Ash groaned, looking at the nervous Porg on her shoulder and standing. “Well, when you two are done acting like children, come find me. I’m going to go try and figure out what the heck we need to do.” Ash stormed off, taking the Porg with her.

            “We’re doomed.” Luke chimed in, throwing his arms up in the air and walking his own way.

            “Now look what you did.” Rey accused.

“What **_I_** did?” Kylo scoffed as Chewie roared. “You stay out of this.”

            “Don’t yell at him!”

 

The arguing didn’t stop.

 

* * *

 

           

           

            Ash was angrily talking to herself, although she’d argue that she was actually talking to the Porg, as she stomped around the rather small island of Ahch-To. This plan was already proving to be a disaster. Kylo Ren and Rey couldn’t work together; that was obvious. She had a lot more work on her plate than she would have liked.

            “I told you this wouldn’t be easy.” Ash glared at the Force ghost next to her.

“It would be if they would just cooperate!”

            Anakin gave her a sympathetic smile. “Unfortunately, they’re never going to stop hating each other.”

            Ash looked at him skeptically. “What do you know?”

“Only the uncertainties of the future; and in every future, the only certain is their disdain for each other.”

            Ash groaned. “So, this is my life now?”

Anakin shrugged. “You’re the balance between them.”

            “Why did we come to this island anyway?” Ash asked, looking around at the emptiness surrounding her. “There’s nothing here.”

            “Ah, young Force User.” Anakin grinned. “Perhaps you need to learn to be in touch and listen to the Force around you.”

            Ash frowned as Anakin disappeared. “I am in tune.” She grumbled, only to sigh as she realized just how childish that sounded. Taking the moment to channel the Force within her, Ash let go of everything, the dueling Force Users back at the village, the absent Luke Skywalker, the angry Wookie… and breathed in. She began to feel it. Something lying within this island was speaking to her, calling to her. “Son-of-a-bitch…” She murmured; the Force Ghost was right. Ashlyn soon found herself answering the call and began walking towards the voice.

 

* * *

 

            The First Order imperial ships suddenly appeared in the sky above D’Qar. The base was under attack with little time to evacuate as everyone ran around in a panic. Alarms blaring from the base as instructions to evacuate were made known to all Resistance personnel.

            Poe Dameron ran through the base, followed by the orange and white droid, dodging and ducking around the panicked Resistance members. He had to get to his X-wing and fast. They needed a distraction, they needed time to get away. So, Poe assembled his fighters. That’s what heroes did and Poe Dameron was a hero.

            With Imperial Destroyers; the First Order fleet was dangerous. The Resistance had no backup now that the Republic was gone. While the intentions of the Republic were all but genuine, at least they had the gun power to help them.

            Poe jumped into the cockpit of his T-70 X-Wing, BB-8 was lifted on board and the two took off as quickly as possible. He was followed by several other X-wings, ready to fight as the Resistance ships tried to get away.

            Flying up into the atmosphere, Poe stared in horror at the sheer size of the First Order army that came to attack them. They were disgustingly outnumbered. It didn’t matter, they had to fight. They needed to get the main ships away. “Red Squad, Yellow Squad; take out the cannons on the Destroyers. Blue Squad, you’re with me. Let’s take out some TIE Fighters.” Poe ordered, receiving a chain of ‘Roger Black Leader’ from each pilot.

            The ships spread out, ready for their plan of attack as a swarm of TIE Fighters emerged from the Finalizer and the other Destroyers. The fighter ships now in a heated battle as Resistance bombers came to the atmosphere. They were going to take out whatever they could.

            The battle raged on with cannon fires and pulse torpedoes littering the space around them as red and green lights flashed all around. TIE Fighters and X-wings were blowing each other up, explosions lighting the dark void of space as Poe continued to lead his battalion onward.

            “We need airspace, Commander.” He heard the General’s voice said over his radio.

“We’re outnumbered, Ma’am. You need to get out of here the first chance you get.” They were running out of time and force; things were not looking good for the Resistance as the numbers began to add up.

 

            “General Damar.” One of the First Order personnel on the Finalizer said. Damar reeling in his second promotion of the week. “We have them surrounded.”

            Damar grinned wickedly. “Leave none alive.”

“Sir.” The personnel agreed, sending out the command. However, something strange happened when an unknown fleet jumped from hyperspace and near the Resistance. “Sir--” The personnel quickly corrected. “We have unknown ships flying in.”

            Damar knew what this meant as he glared out at the war before him. “Take everyone down.”

 

            A TIE Fighter blew up in front of Poe’s X-wing, however, he hadn’t expected that as a ship similarly to a TIE fighter flew by. Except, the colors were off. There wasn’t a First Order insignia on it, there was a red symbol, one he hadn’t seen before.

            Poe’s radio had interference as a voice came over; a voice that interfered with all transmissions within the Resistance. “We are the Ascension.” The unrecognizable voice said. “We’re here to help.”

            Poe, his face lighting up in excitement as he saw the new battalion racing forward to meet the First Order. “Yeah!” He cheered as the battle raged on.

“The Raddus is clear for takeoff, once we clear, get out of there Commander.” General Organa ordered.

            “You got it, General.” Poe said, taking the X-wing upward and spinning away from two attacking TIE Fighters.

            While the sanctity of the Ascension was in question, Poe Dameron didn’t take the time to ask any of those burning questions then. Their prayers were answered when their new friends arrived and once the Raddus took off, they had their orders. The Resistance pilots disappeared into hyperspace, jumping to the same location. However, the Ascension was nowhere to be found. Perhaps, this war wasn’t so one sided anymore.

* * *

  
  


            Ash awkwardly stared at the large dead tree in front of her; it was covered in fog and surrounded by rocks and hidden deep within the island. “ ** _This_** is where you wanted me to go?” Ash asked the absence of nothing as she looked at the shaking Porg on her shoulder. “If there’s a monster, I’m throwing you at it. Sorry.” The Porg chirped unhappily as Ash grinned at her joke.

            She walked forward to the tree and upon closer inspection she saw that it was hollow, a large opening on the side. Cautiously, she entered the tree, the voice calling to her from inside as she walked deeper to see an altar of sorts. On that alter sat five rather large books.

            Her legs felt heavy as she walked towards them, stopping in front of the altar and reaching for the gold bound book. She pulled it out of the lineup and opened it on the altar top. “What is this place?” She asked.

            “This island was an old Jedi Temple.” A voice answered. Ash turned, looking back at Luke Skywalker as he walked into the tree. He followed her; he was intrigued by the Grey User, and now just for the indifference in the power she held, but also what she was doing to his estranged nephew, albeit unintentionally.  “I had found it in my search for Force Users, after the fall of the Empire.”

            “Kylo mentioned you tried to start a new academy.”

Luke replied knowingly. “Did he also mention that he burned it down?”

            Ash grimaced. “He did.”

Luke was actually somewhat shocked. “It was my fault. I saw Darkness in Ben when he trained with me. I was a new Master, I should have never been teaching students. I wasn’t ready. I didn’t understand then that my nephew was supposed to hold such Darkness. It was what the Force wanted, but there were others who wanted to expose that darkness for something much more devious.” Luke explained, walking over to the altar and looking down at the book Ash picked. “There are so many Legends from the Jedi, all fabricated from stories from unnecessary glorification. The time of the Jedi needs to end, there is no such thing as Jedi and Sith any longer.”

Ash made a face. “If that’s so, if all of this is nonsense, then why are we here?”

He smiled. “Because the Force is what brought us here. While most of this is misconstrue nonsense and gibberish, there is some fact to it all. The Light, the Dark and the Grey, all formed to stop the darkest of beings. We are all part of a balance, a way of life to the Galaxy and all the living creatures within it.”

            Ash looked down at the book. “You said I shouldn’t exist outside of the Force… is that true?”

            “To an extent; yes. Your purpose isn’t so simple, Ash. You’re just as important as the Dark and the Light, maybe even more so.” He explained. “You’re balance. You’re what bring the harmony of the Force together. Without you, the Light and Dark could never survive.”

            “How am I supposed to bring balance?” Ash asked.

Luke flipped through a few pages of the gold book, opening to a picture of a triangle with different symbols and words Ash couldn’t make out. “Within this triangle, the Dark, Light and Grey create balance. Here, we have the Darkness, an expression of hatred like the way Ben and Rey feel towards one another. Here, the power of Light and companionship. A feeling of trust and hope, like the way you and Rey bonded. Then here--” Luke pointed to the third line. “Here is where passion, intimacy and affection lies.”

              Ash understood. “Like Kylo Ren and myself.”

“Exactly.” Luke said somewhat excitedly that Ash was beginning to understand. “You three have been thrown into something beyond what I can teach you, beyond what any other Force User could ever comprehend.”           

              “Then how do we find the artifacts? How do we take out Snoke?” Ash was begging for some sort of answer.

Luke flipped through few more pages; three stones sat on the page and stared back at Ashlyn. A strange comfort rushed through her as she looked at the stones. “Each stone was designed in the image of the balance it was made for; Light, Dark and Grey. Only together can they defeat Snoke. The stones were separated and lost so long ago, but there are clues hidden in the galaxy on their whereabouts.”

              Ash pursed her lips. “Do you think we can do this?”

“Only if you bring them together; teach them to exist in the same space.”

              “That seems impossible.” She sighed in defeat.

“It might be.” Luke agreed.

            “Will you help me?” She asked, noticing the hesitation in his face. “I can’t do this alone, I need to be shown the way.”

            Luke thought for a moment, he thought back to his lessons with Master Yoda and how the way of the Force lived through him and through his teachings. Perhaps it was time to come out of retirement, the Galaxy needed their help; it needed Ben, Rey and Ash. “Maybe.”

            Ash frowned. “Wow, you really are kind-of an asshole.”

Luke shrugged, smiling slightly as he turned to leave the tree. “You have much to learn, young one. Best start learning how to deal with immovable forces now.”

            Ash gave a knowing look to the Porg on the altar before understanding that she already started her first lesson with Master Skywalker without realizing it. With a sudden burst of excitement, she grabbed the gold book, put the Porg back on her shoulder and ran out of the tree to tell Kylo Ren and Rey what she learned.

  


    

* * *

       

            Upon reaching the village, Ash noticed there was a new hole in one of the huts, along with lightsaber burns in another. She stared at it in disbelief before walking down the hill to find Rey standing on the edge of one of the cliff sides, practicing with her lightsaber. She was clearly aggravated, it showed in the aggressive way she was swinging the light sword.

            Cautiously, Ash walked down to her, standing at a distance to avoid any accidentally lightsaber slashes. “I have a book about the artifacts.” Ash tried.

Rey stopped swinging the saber before looking at Ash. “He’s impossible, he’s aggravating and a child.”

            Ash grimaced; this wasn’t good. “Well, yeah he can be but--”

“I’m sorry, Ash, but there is no hope with someone like **_that_**.”

            “But we have to work together and--” She saw the hesitation in Rey’s face. “I’ll talk to him.”

            “I doubt it’ll do any good.” Rey said, returning back to her training as she began to swing the lightsaber again.

            With a defeated sigh, Ash went to look for the other stubborn Force User on the island. She found him sitting on the hill by the TIE Silencer and Millennium Falcon, staring out at the ocean that surrounded them. He had sensed Ash was coming closer; he could feel her stress over everything. “Your **_friend_** tried to kill me.”

            “You probably deserved it.” Ash replied honestly as she plopped down next to Kylo Ren. She removed the Porg from her shoulder and placed it on the grass in front of them along with the gold book.

            Kylo Ren’s brow quirked upward as he watched her. “You still have that ugly, little creature?”

            They watched as the Porg hopped forward, playing in the grass. “He’s not ugly.”

He rolled his eyes and focused on the book. “What’s that?”

            “It’s a book I found in some tree.” He gave her a weird look. “It has information on the stones, the Force; all that good stuff.”

“Ah, yes. ‘ _That good stuff_ ’.” He replied teasingly.

             Ash smiled, nudging his arm with hers. “How’s your side?”

“I may have done some more damage to it after fighting with the scavenger.” He answered truthfully.

            “How about you just **_don’t_** fight with Rey?” Ash suggested, her shoulders slumping again. “We have to work together whether we want to or not. We have to gather the stones and--” She paused, realizing she actually didn’t know what they had to do with the stones.

            Kylo Ren smirked knowingly as he reached forward, wincing slightly as he opened the book and flipped through it’s pages. He opened to the page with the stones before explaining. “They’re powerful kyber crystals. We can use their power to help us defeat Snoke.”

            Ash made a face. “That I understand, but how?”

“What else do you know uses kyber crystals?”

            It clicked. “Besides StarKiller, our sabers.”

“Exactly.” He said. “Our sabers are already an extension of us; this is an extra power to help us combat the power within Snoke.”

            Ash bit her lip. “If he’s so strong, why hasn’t he shown that?”

There was that intuitive nature again. “You’ve been paying attention. However, not well enough. He has been interfering with us; with all of this. While they’re mostly subtle ways, he has been. Alternately, as such a powerful being; if he constantly used his power, his body could eventually deteriorate. He’s lying dormant; waiting. He knows of the prophecy, he knows we’re coming for him. He’s been preparing for it.”

            “We have to beat him.” Ash avowed, looking at Kylo Ren again. “You know we have to, you’ve said so yourself. But we need Rey, and I think you know that too. We need to work together otherwise this won’t work.”

            “I don’t play well with others.” He replied flatly.

Ash laughed. “Clearly.”

            Kylo smirked as he leaned closer to Ash. She leaned back as he began to hover over her. “I play well with you.” His voice a low growl.

  Her heart raced in her chest as she looked into his beautiful, dark eyes. “That’s debatable.”

            Ren’s smirk widened into a full out grin now, knowing the effect he had on her and relishing in it. “Is it?” He asked teasingly as he full on tackled her; ignoring the pain in his side as the girl below him yelped in surprise before laughing.

            He propped himself up on his elbows as she tried to speak through her laughter. “You’d think I’d be expecting your attacks by now.”

            “Yet you never seem to learn. You’re unteachable.” Ren joked, unable to hide his cheshire grin as Ash wrapped her arms around his neck, pulling him closer to her so she could kiss him. There wasn’t much he wouldn’t do for her, he knew that. They both did. And as much as it killed him to get along with Rey, he agreed, but only for her. “I will try and work alongside the scavenger.”

            Ash rolled her eyes playfully. “It’s the best deal I’m going to get right now.”

“And only until this is over.” He added.

            Ash scoffed. “You can’t alter the deal!”

“I just did.” He grinned wickedly. “Pray I don’t alter it further.”

            She groaned. “What am I going to do with you?”

He thought for a moment before coming up with a suggestion. “You’re going to kiss me and then we’re going to figure out where the stones are.”

            “That I **_can_** do.” She wasted no time leaning up to kiss him, their lips interlocking once more.

* * *

 

In the distance, Rey stood on the hill and watched the scene before her. Her expression a mix of concern and uncertainty as Luke Skywalker joined her, ready for an argument. She had none. “Where do we start; how do we find the stones?”

            Luke gave her a knowing look. “I thought you didn’t trust him?”

“I don’t.” Rey said, still looking at the scene before her.

            “What changed?”

“The way he looks at her.” Rey explained. “It’s like he’s a different person.”

            Luke nodded. “A person can hide any and all intentions, but their eyes always speak the truth. You are currently seeing the eyes of Ben Solo pushing through to the surface. She brings out a side to him that Kylo Ren believes is dead. While the Light doesn’t fully exist in him any longer, some of it still reflects to the surface when she’s around.”

            Rey frowned. “Is it possible for someone to come back from all he’s done?”

“I think you know the answer to that.” Luke said, backing away from Rey and started back up the hill. Rey continued to watch the two other Force Users in the distance, thinking that maybe… just maybe, this could work.

           

 


	46. The Hand That Reaches In The Dark

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ash and Rey try to figure out things; Kylo Ren and Chewbacca have a moment, and we learn that friendship is powerful

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I guess I want to say trigger warning for this chapter? There's talk of being violated but... not in that way, but I know sometimes words can be a trigger for these things so be aware.
> 
> Also, guys. I love you all. You rock. Your comments are what makes this story, so please remember to comment, it's the only way I know if you hate it or not. Thank you!

* * *

 

Kylo Ren’s side was feeling much better that morning, which he was very happy about considering Ash was practically on top of him as she slept. The stupid Porg was also sleeping on him again, this was not going to be an everyday occurrence. Of that, he was determined. The red haired girl, fine, but the Porg had to go.

            Ash grumbled as she woke up, wishing she could sleep a little longer but having been woken up by her own internal alarm clock, oh and the fact that **_he_** was up. She could feel his annoyance with the Porg. “Now I know why you’re always so angry with me when I panic in the mornings.”

            He chuckled. “Annoying, right?”

Ash lifted her head to look at him, her hair a mess from sleep. “Quite.” She realized she had been lying on his bad side. “Am I hurting you?”

            “You’re fine.” He said dismissively as a knock came on their door.

“Please don’t be naked.” They heard from outside their hut as the door opened. Rey walked in, followed by the overly protective Chewbacca. “Well--” She noted. “Could be worse.”

            Kylo Ren glared as Ash sat up, taking the warmth with her now that she was no longer lying on him. “What’s going on?”

“Master Skywalker wants to speak with us about the prophecy and the stones.” Rey informed them. “He says he might be able to point us in the right direction.”

            “Really?” Ash asked excitedly, things were starting to look up for the trio. She looked back at the very unimpressed Kylo Ren, noticing he didn’t care before she returned her attention to Rey. “When do we start?”

            “The sooner the better.” Kylo mumbled as he sat up now, the Porg squawking and hopping off the bed. He didn’t want to spend any more time on this island than he had to. Especially if he had to be around Luke, Chewie and the scavenger.

            “We’ll wait for you outside, we can walk up to the temple together.” Rey offered; she was at least **_trying_** to be diplomatic in the situation.

Ash smiled as Rey and Chewie left the hut; she got off the bed to get ready for the day. Kylo Ren was less enthusiastic about the whole thing as he followed in getting off the bed. The Porg was hopping around on the floor still. He was so very tempted to punt it, but didn’t thanks to the red haired girl who would be more than pissed at him if he did. “I wonder what made Luke change his mind.” Ash asked.

            “Guilt over being a failed Master.” Ash narrowed her eyes at the man as he dressed.

She reminded him dutifully. “You promised you’d behave.”

            “No, I promised to work with the scavenger. I never agreed to working with or being nice to Luke.” He grinned wickedly as Ash rolled her eyes. Kylo Ren wrapped his arm around her back, pulling her to his chest. He had a way of making her just a little less angry with him; rendering her will practically useless when he kissed her. The way they both seemed to melt into one another; mold and mesh to become one within all of this chaos. At least, if everything went to hell, they still had each other… right?

 

* * *

 

            The group began to climb up the mountain and towards the temple that Rey had mentioned. Chewie still clutched his bowcaster blaster tightly, ready to shoot Kylo Ren at a moment’s notice. “Does the walking carpet really need to come with us?”

            Rey frowned as Chewie roared. “We don’t trust you.”

“Clearly.” Ren mumbled as they continued to hike.

            “You haven’t made it easy.” Rey retorted.

Ash could sense the tension between the two other Force Users, a fight was beginning to brew, and quickly she tried to squash it. “So, this island isn’t really that big.”

            Kylo smirked. “Perhaps you’re simply not a trusting person.”

Rey glared. “Or maybe it’s because you’re a monster.”

            “Are there other islands on this planet?” Ash tried again to distract the conversation.

“Still playing the ‘monster’ card.” Kylo simpered. “I would have hoped you’d come up with something better by now.”

            “... or other animals?” Ash was losing this battle, she could feel it.

Rey stopped walking now as she sharply turned to face Kylo Ren. “You are single handedly the worst human in the existence of this entire--”

            They got in each other’s faces then, standing close enough that if one decided to unleash their saber, the other would have a wonderful hole in their body. Rey continued to scream at Kylo Ren as he simply continued to egg her on. Ash rolled her eyes, looking to the Wookie that shrugged in reply.

            In her aggravation, Ash took a deep breath as she threw her arms forward, not really knowing what could happen when she did. The arguing Force Users were knocked over, landing on the ground with a thud before quickly sitting up to process what had happened. The two looked at each other before looking at the angry red haired girl and Wookie. “Can you two **_please_** knock it off? We have a galaxy to save and we can’t do it if you’re both going to rip each other’s faces off.” She noticed they were both staring at her still. “What?” She asked in exasperation.

            “You’re um--” Rey started, pointing to her nose.

Kylo rolled his eyes at her hesitation. “Your nose is bleeding.”

           Ash’s hand immediately found her face, wiping the suddenly liquid that pooled under her nose. Yep, she was definitely experiencing a nose bleed. “Fantastic.” She glared at the two Force Users on the ground. “Just great! I exerted too much energy and now my nose is bleeding. You guys gave me a nosebleed. Thanks for that.” She was holding the bridge of her nose now as she stomped up the mountain, mumbling to herself as she did. Chewbacca roared, shaking his head at the two Force Users and followed after Ash.

           Rey, immediately felt awful, it showed on her face. While Kylo Ren felt pretty bad about it as well, it wasn’t as obvious externally. Before Rey could say anything, Kylo Ren was already on his feet and offering his hand to help her. “I promised her I’d work with you.” He said flatly as Rey reluctantly took his hand and stood up with his help. “That doesn’t mean I have to like you; in fact, I hate you.” The brutal honesty coming in to play. “But we have a job to do, and part of my job is also keeping her happy. So, let’s just suck it up and do what we have to do.”

            Rey was still glaring at him. “I really, **_really_** hate you.”

Kylo Ren grinned brightly. “Good. Glad we agree.” He said, gesturing to the mountain. “Shall we?” The two silently continued their way up; the overall guilt in what happened to Ash mixing with their hatred for one another was quite the confusing wall of negativity that neither Ash nor Luke were prepared to deal with.

 

* * *

 

            Luke stared at Ash incredulously as she stomped into the cavern at the top of the mountain, holding her nose with dried blood still caked just under it. “What happened?” He asked, fearing the worst. Rey and Ben weren’t dead, at least he knew that much.

            Ash groaned. “They were fighting and probably going to kill each other; I did the only thing I could to separate them and I Force pushed them apart.” Her words slowly processed in Luke’s mind before he laughed, Ash groaned once more as she walked over to the center of the room where an emblem sat. The circular emblem was something unfamiliar to her. “I tried to help them, okay? It didn’t work.” She plopped down next to the raised emblem on the ground, looking at it a little more now. The symbol looks like half a circle with a long piece in the middle, pointing to what looked like a star at the end. The symbol on one side was white and black on the other. In the middle was another star, a grey star. “The balance?” She asked absentmindedly as she wiped as much of the dry blood off her face as possible.

            Luke’s lips quirked upward as he sat down next to her, the two staring at the symbol. “While Grey isn’t always an existing factor, it’s an important one. It holds them together, binds the Dark and Light to create the balance of it all. Everything creates and destroys; chaos and peace, life and death, it is always held together by balance.”

            “What happens if balance doesn’t happen?”

“Then it all falls apart.” He explained. “Balance is always there, you need to find how that resonates within you.”

            Chewbacca walked into the cave, followed by two silent Force Users. To Ash’s relief, no limbs were missing on either of them. “Oh good, they made it.” Ash commented dryly as she looked back to the symbol on the floor.

            “Ash, I’m sorry.” Rey began, taking the lead in apologizing. Something Kylo Ren really needed work on. “We both are.” She side-eyed Ren, who said nothing. “We need to work together, there’s so much at stake and we can’t spend our time arguing. We need to find the stones.”

            Ash smiled then, looking at the other Force Users. “Well, stop standing around and let’s figure out what we need to do. Master Luke?”

Luke stood up. “The stones have been scattered across the galaxy; previous owners traveled with them, their final resting place is where we’ll find them.”

            “They’ve been used before?” Rey asked.

“As I keep saying, balance must always exist. That means in order for there to be Light, there must be Dark; always. Sometimes, one gets a little too powerful and needs to be put back in its place.” Luke explained. “The archives on Naboo should have some old texts that could prove useful. The capital, Theed; I’d start there.”

            Kylo Ren folded his arms over his chest. “Even if we find the stones, you said we can’t use them until we’re worthy.”

“Each stone has a different property, the Eye of the Sun; forged in darkness; it holds true power and strength. The Heart of the Universe; the Light. Created to guide those throughout the dark, a piece of hope and truth.” He looked to Ash then. “And then the Heart of the Guardian; the Grey. The stone that protects and brings balance.” He explained. “The stones reflects the one who would wield it. If you cannot be the power and strength, the hope and truth, or even the protector… you cannot wield the stone.”

            “How do we become worthy?” Ash asked.

“You must find that answer within yourself.” Luke informed her. “This is something that cannot be simply taught, it’s something you were created with, something the Force instilled within you.”

            Rey, Ash and Kylo Ren exchanged glances, a similar expression hidden on their faces as they realized this wasn’t going to be easy in any sense. They all shared in their uncertainty. If they were going to pull this off, they needed to start moving. Time was running out.

 

* * *

 

            The Raddus had emerged from hyperspace, followed by the remaining X-wings, Bombers and a few other transport units that managed to escape the attack. The Resistance, while fewer in numbers after the attack on D’Qar, were still in high spirits. At least, high enough spirits to keep them moving forward.

            Poe Dameron wasted no time in docking his X-wing onto the Raddus and walked with a fierce determination towards the bridge. While exciting to see other forces in the galaxy coming to their aid, there was still a dangerous question to be asked. Who were the Ascension and what was their play?

            Sure, they helped the Resistance escape and promptly disappeared to some other part of the galaxy, but where did they come from? This was the first time anyone had heard of them, in direct mention or even in passing. The Resistance was now up in arms over who this new group claimed to be.

            “General Organa.” Poe began as he marched into the bridge, followed by the rolling BB unit. The General was standing around the main hub, her expression saying as though she had expected the intrusion from her Commander. “General Organa, we need to talk about what happened outside D’Qar.”

            “Commander Dameron, your concerns are also my concerns.” She said, nodding back to the holo-screen before them. “We are trying to reach out to the Ascension, while also trying to track them. We need to know who they are and if they truly want to help out our cause.” Poe wanted to protest, but he also didn’t really know what he was protesting. Personally, he wanted to go after them himself, but Leia had a point. They didn’t know anything, which was more than frustrating. “Have you heard from Ashlyn?”

             Poe’s face said it all; no, he hadn’t heard from Ash. She had disappeared and her location was still unknown. She hadn’t checked in. She was a ghost as far as everyone was concerned. And they were **_definitely_** concerned. Her speedy exit raised some flags among other Resistance members, particularly in her panic. It also didn’t help that not much after her swift exit the First Order was on their doorstep. Did Ash know? If she did, why didn’t she say anything? Poe couldn’t believe that; he **_wouldn’t_** believe that. Ash wouldn’t do that to them. “I’m going to try reaching out again. If she heads back to D’Qar she could be in trouble. Same with Rey, they both need to know what’s happened. I’ll contact both of them.”

            Leia nodded. “And we will continue to try and reach the Ascension.”

The droid beeped frantically next to him, Poe’s face contorted to a more confused expression as he looked down at BB-8. “What? Finn’s walking around naked and wet?” Then it clicked. “Finn’s awake?” Poe looked to Leia, who was just a little more relieved at the good news.

            That’s what they needed; good news. While a small blip of good news, it was something. Contacting the girls would have to wait as Poe Dameron raced around the Raddus, trying to find the naked and wet ex-Storm Trooper.

 

* * *

 

           

            Rey and Ash sat on one of the many grassy fields of Ahch-To, near the cliffside that had one of the best views of the vast ocean surrounding the island. A view Ash could never forget even if she tried.

             They needed to figure out how to harness the power within the stones. Luke had stated that they weren’t ready to wield the power of them just yet. So… how did they get ready? While Kylo Ren had disappeared in an attempt to, in his own words, ‘ _actually do something rather than meditate on things no one understood_ ’. The girls tried their luck on meditation. If anything, it would at least rebalance their focus. They didn’t see a losing side to any of it. Their concentration, however, was a little shaky as the sound of Porgs were a constant reminder in the background. “I take it back.” Ash groaned. “I hate Porgs now.”

            Rey laughed. “I told you they’re vermin.”

“Yeah, but don’t tell Kylo I said that, he’s never going to let me live that one down.”

            “You don’t have to worry about that. I’d rather **_not_** talk to him if I don’t have to.” Rey’s tone was light, but she was also very serious.

“He’s not as awful as everyone thinks.” Ash tried to explain. “Sure, he hasn’t really done much to say otherwise, but… he’s--”

“He’s a different person when you’re involved. I get that, you two… for whatever reason I’ll never try to understand, have something.” Rey finished her thought. “But that doesn’t change the fact that he’s dangerous and unpredictable.”

            Ash nodded. “I know, but I trust him.”

“And I trust you to do the right thing.” Rey’s tone was slightly reluctant as she smiled, trying to be as supportive as she could, even if what she was being supportive about wasn’t exactly a good idea. “Let’s try to focus again.” Rey offered, attempting to turn the conversation off the man in black.

            Ash smiled, closing her eyes once more as she tried to find her center in the Force. The girls were trying to maybe channel their purpose, or at least get a better sense of it. What did they have to lose in trying?

     

* * *

      

_At first, Ash could only sense the island and the Force that lied within it. The balance of life, death; peace and chaos. Then, there was darkness. A sudden and chilling darkness that was pulling at her. Pain; she could feel pain. There was pain, but it wasn’t hers. It was Rey’s. She could feel Rey suddenly writhing in discomfort; unable to shake it as it came down swiftly on the girl next to her._

_Ash kept trying to pull herself back; she felt nauseous as she tried to rip herself out of it. However, she was suddenly in an unfamiliar room. A black throne sitting at the center with the creature sitting upon it; Snoke._

_“The Grey.” His voice in a low growl. “I know what it is you are after, what you are planning to do. It won’t work. You and your friends will die. You know this; I can feel you know this.” Ash’s jaw clenched; she couldn’t move. “Show me **everything**.” _

_He began pulling everything from her as Rey began to scream next to her. He was torturing her, she could feel it. Her body began to jerk forward, no matter how hard she tried to pull herself back, she kept moving closer and closer to the deformed creature in front of her. The man who was ripping into her thoughts; defiling her mind, her safety gone. There was nothing left of her as he greedily grabbed whatever he could from her memories._

_Her body struggled; begging to get away. She **needed** to run and find a way back to the island. _

_“An island.” He hissed; seeing the image of the green island surrounded by water. “Show me.” His voice filled with pure malice as he tried to get that from her. Hearing her thoughts about the island, his fingers clawing at her brain as they tried to pry any knowledge about the island from her._

_“NO!” She fought, her jaw clenching tightly as Rey’s screams stopped in the distance._

_‘ **ASH’** Echoed in her entire being as her body was now mere inches from Snoke. ‘ **ASH!’** It called again. Snoke lunged forward, reaching out for her, missing here by milliseconds as she was forcefully pulled back._

 

* * *

 

            She snapped back; she was lying against his broad chest, her eyes looked around frantically trying to place where she was. She was safe; she was on Ahch-To, and she was in Kylo Ren’s arms. “What the hell just happened?” His tone harsh, but a harshness that didn’t say he was angry with her. Not exactly. “You almost walked off the cliff!”

            Ash sat up fully, the blood rushing to her head and making her dizzy for a moment as she looked at just how close she had gotten to the cliff. Her breathing staggered as she looked back to see Luke, crouched down by Rey. She was just as shaken; tears streaming down her cheeks as she tried to explain what had happened to her.

            “Ash--” That voice again, it was his. She knew without a doubt he was the one that had called to her in whatever state she was in. She looked back at him; the worry was spelled out on his face as she lunged forward, her arms wrapping tightly around his neck. It didn’t take him long to wrap his arms around her, holding her just as tight. “You’re okay.” He whispered. “You’re both okay.”

            “It was Snoke.” Ash managed to say, her voice cracking. “He got into our heads; he wanted to know where we were.”

 Kylo pulled back, looking into her scared eyes. “Did you tell him?” She didn’t answer at first. “Ash--” He snapped. “Did you tell him?”

            Regaining some composure, she shook her head. “No.” She stammered. “I don’t think so. Just the island; that’s all he saw. He didn’t see exactly where we were.”

            Kylo Ren nodded, pulling her close to his chest again and holding her. He had been with Ash for a while now; he had felt her suffer through the death of Sid, through their short-lived break up. Nothing compared to what he felt then. While Ash wouldn’t admit it, he felt the fear than ran through her. Fear for the safety of Rey, fear of giving away anything valuable to Snoke, and fear of losing everything. Losing **_him_**. He never wanted to feel that again, it resonated within him. What made it worse was seeing her walk towards the cliff side without so much as a struggle.

Kylo Ren always strived to be level headed and yet in that moment, he lost it. He simply lost any and all composure as he sprinted down the hill, his heart thudding in his chest. What if he had been too late? What if he and Luke did not feel such a drastic shift? The sudden realization that he could very well lose Ash forever by the end of this washed over him like a tidal wave.

            However, Kylo Ren also started to realize something. Snoke was becoming desperate and in that desperation he tried to attack the girls only to come up empty handed. Time was running short for both sides, but now Kylo Ren had the upper hand in knowing that Snoke was beginning to fear the potential of the trio.

 

* * *

 

            Ash sat on the bed as her legs dangled off the side, her body hunched over as far it could naturally go. Her fiery red locks falling in front of her face as she closed her eyes. She felt violated from the earlier incident. She felt completely and utterly out of control. They weren’t expecting an attack like that, hell, they weren’t expecting any sort of attack at all. Unlike Kylo Ren, they had a more care-free mindset, which only made Rey and Ash easy targets.

            That wasn’t all; Ash felt helpless. If they weren’t able to fight off Snoke then, how could they fight him off later. Maybe there was some weight to his words; maybe they were destined to fail?

            The panic set in as Ash began to feel sick; her midsection cramping as the need to expel whatever was in her stomach becoming overwhelming. She dry-heaved for a moment, a cold sweat pooling on her forehead as she tried to regain some semblance of her composure. It didn’t work, and soon Ash was on her feet, racing towards a nearby (and probably sacred) pot in the hut as she emptied the contents of her stomach. The caretakers were going to hate her even more when they found this mess.

            “Shit--” His voice was soft; gentle even, as Ash felt his concern engulf the room. Kylo Ren walked over to her, his hand on her back as she gagged a few more times; nothing coming up with it.

            “I’m fine.” She managed to say, hot tears in her eyes from throwing up in the first place. Tears of embarrassment; pain.

            He saw right through her. “No, you’re not.”

She frowned, which unfortunately only allowed the tears in her eyes to fall as she stood up straight, wiping at her mouth. “Okay, I’m not. You’re right. I’m not okay.” The frustration in her voice coming forward as she walked away from him and back over to the bed. “I feel violated.” She admitted, the panic only getting worse. “I feel like we’re going to lose this; lose everything.”

            “Ash--” He tried.

“No.” She snapped; losing all control of her shaken sanity then. “Don’t stand there and lie to me about how everything is going to be okay.”

            His body tensed. “It’s not going to be okay. It never **_was_** going to be okay.” Kylo Ren let it out. “Do you want to run now? We can go right now, get in the silencer and go somewhere far away and never look back.” Now he was being cruel. He had to be. “Start the family the Force showed us, play ignorance to everything else. That’s what you wanted, right? To stay out of it; to be grey.” Her throat tightened as she tried to swallow. “Just say the word and we’ll go.”

            That’s right, the child. The child she wanted to fight for, the life she desperately wanted. A life she was so harshly reminded of by Kylo Ren. What if her vision was just that? Them on the run forever, feigning ignorance to it all? Or maybe, it was the aftermath of succeeding, of winning this battle?

            He thought he had gone too far when she didn’t respond; he had been too cruel while Ash was at her most vulnerable. But, no. Ashlyn Novafall was stronger than that. At least, she’d fake it until she couldn’t. For them, she knew she had to. Right now, she couldn’t. “I’m scared. I know what we have to do… and I’m terrified that we won’t be able to do it.” Exhaling sharply, Kylo Ren walked over to her, wrapping his arms around her and holding her close. He really wasn’t very good at comforting people, which was something he’d have to get better at. “And I know we have to try. We can’t just get up and run; even if we wanted to. We are part of something so much bigger than we could have ever imagined. We could save the galaxy from all of this bad stuff...” She was crying now, her head against his chest as they stood there. “But that doesn’t mean I can’t be afraid.”

             “I would be concerned if you weren't scared.” He tried to joke; his sarcasm falling flat as he tried to comfort her. “I’m going to do everything in my power to keep you safe.” It was a promise; a promise that should have scared her then, but didn’t. She didn’t know better.

              “When this is over, I don’t want to hear any more talk on politics, Supreme Beings or even the Force.” She was only half-joking as she wiped her eyes. Stars, she hated crying and yet she found herself doing it more and more lately. Everything was on edge. “I just want to be Ashlyn Novafall again, and I want to be with you, whatever that means.”

               He snorted. “You will never be ‘ _just Ashlyn Novafall’_ , you will always be something more. Whatever happens for us, it’ll be for the best.” Ren tried his best to assure her of that. “But, I agree that maybe a vacation of sorts is in order.” He made a face then. “Stars, I’m sounding like Hux.”

            Ash unwillingly laughed, pulling back from Kylo Ren as she looked up at him, her smile fading as she realized he had lost his smile all-together. “What happened to them?”

            His lips formed a thin line. “I’m not sure. They helped me escape the Finalizer when everything went down.” Kylo Ren didn’t have friends, but if he did, it would be Hux and Phasma. They were the closest thing he had to companionship. Now, their fates were up in the air.

             Ash quickly wrapped her arms around his waist again, hugging him tightly. She was definitely better at comforting people than he was. That was blatantly obvious. “I’m sorry.” She mumbled. “Everything is so stressful and I’m sorry.” She inhaled deeply, letting go of him again as she wiped any remaining remnants of tears from her eyes. “My moment of vulnerability is over.” She said, forcing a smile. Ash had to be strong, she knew she did. She wasn’t doing it for herself, but for him too. She was the shield that protected her loved ones, she knew that and it became abundantly clear then. “We’re going to do this; for Hux, for Phasma… for Rey, for Luke; for the Resistance, for you--” His hands cupped her cheeks; his lips crashing to hers. She welcomed him; hungrily, greedily, in every sense.

              They both needed the comfort from one another; their uncertainties lingering in the air, but neither one wanted to voice them any further. They needed to be strong for each other because in the end, being together and the promise of tomorrow was really all they had.

 

* * *

 

             ‘ _He stared at him with the eyes of a child looking at his father for the first time in a long time. A scared, little boy that had to do something he could never dream of. But, here they were. “I have to fulfill my destiny… I need to be completely within the darkness otherwise I can’t. I’m being torn apart and I need clarity.”_

_As any father would be, he looked concerned; fearful for the state of his son. While he was never the perfect father, he still was a good father and at the end of the day, he would do anything he could for his son. “Then come home, we can help you.”_

_He shook his head. “No, it’s not that simple. I need to rid myself of the Light. I need to, for her, for all of this. Don’t you understand? I need to do this to end all the suffering.”_

_“How do you rid yourself from the light?”_

_“I need to destroy something that pulls me to it.” They both understood then that only one of them would be leaving the bridge. “Will you help me?”_

_Han, feeling the weight of life and death weighing down on him, it was different than any other scenario he had ever been in. Hell, he was in so many of those situations before. This one was far different; his son needed him. “Yes, of course.”_

_He held the lightsaber in his hands, looking at it before back at Han. His father smiled slightly, a quick nod that only Kylo Ren could see, a nod that said it was going to be okay. And as the lightsaber went off, piercing through his chest, he knew he was doing it for his son.’_

 

* * *

 

            Kylo Ren woke with a start, the night still calm around the hut as his eyes focused to the darkness as best they could. Ash was curled up into his side, their naked bodies keeping warm from the contact considering their very thin sheet wasn’t really doing the trick. He was restless, his mind lost in thought, but he’d keep it internal as much as possible. The girl next to him needed rest, especially after the day she had. They released their frustrations, their uncertainties and fears for most of the night. A much needed night spent in each other’s arms as the rest of the world disappeared for a while.

            But now he was overcome with those thoughts of uncertainty. Slowly, Ren crept out of the bed, careful to not wake the sleeping red haired girl as he did. He dressed quickly, and made his way out of the hut. The rest of the island was fast asleep, no Porgs squawking in the distance; no caretakers grunting and groaning at him for simply existing. Nothing.

            With reluctance, and a need for answers, Kylo Ren snuck out of the village and towards where the ships were docked. Once he made it there, he stood unmoving as he stared at the ugly piece of junk for what felt like an eternity.

            The Wookie bellowed as he came closer, of course he followed him. He didn’t trust him. Kylo Ren rolled his eyes. “Relax, I’m not stealing this piece of junk. It’s useless to me.” His expression softening again as he stared at it. The ramp came down without much celebration as Kylo Ren walked forward and up the ramp, followed by the walking carpet.

            It looked exactly how he remembered it; a total piece of crap. But it was his father’s piece of crap. A ship he always felt that Han Solo had loved more than him. He was away enough to warrant those feelings. Yet, there was still a fondness in his eyes as he began walking through the ship. He remembered being a young boy, running up and down the halls of the Millennium Falcon, being chased by his father or Chewbacca. The adventures they went on, so few, but they meant something then. Even when they ended in his father be scolded by his mother upon their return.

            He walked to the cockpit, staring at the seat; **_his_** seat, before sitting down in it. Chewie stood in the doorway of the cockpit, staring at Ren intently before growling. “Yeah, I know. You don’t need to keep reminding me. I am perfectly capable of self-loathing over killing him.” Chewie’s groan was a mix of reluctance and anger then. “I didn’t hate him. Sure, there were times I wish the great Han Solo would stop being himself and be a family man. For her sake; for mine.” He exhaled sharply. “He could never be anything but himself. You knew that, you were with him on every trip, every adventure. While we were left home, waiting.” Chewie roared, as Kylo Ren scoffed. “He had a really shitty way of showing he loved us.”

            Chewie bellowed once more, causing Kylo Ren to frown as he stared out the cockpit windshield and to the night sky. The moon illuminating the entire island just enough to see the bare minimum. Not that there really was much to look at in the first place.

              The Wookie wanted to know why he had come here; Kylo Ren didn’t really have an answer, except for one. “There’s a child--” Chewbacca roared in shock and anger. “Relax, she’s not pregnant right now. I didn’t carelessly knock her up.” He rolled his eyes at the tone Chewbacca had taken; scolding him as though he were a teenager again. “Anyway, we’ve both seen it; a son. We have a son sometime in the future. I guess that’s the reason I came on the ship. The idea of being a father when mine wasn’t exactly father-of-the-year.” Chewie snorted in reply. “Loving someone doesn’t make up for not being around.” Chewie’s next roar only made Kylo Ren grow snarkier. “Hey, maybe I’ll get what’s coming to me and my son can kill me too.”

            Chewbacca did **_not_** like that and showed it as he stomped forward, roaring with distaste. Kylo Ren stiffened, standing up from his seat and challenged the well over seven-foot Wookie. “He was **_my_** father! You were just as at fault, if not more so for taking him away on these stupid adventures. You could have made him stay home; be with his family!” It became clear then who Kylo Ren really resented. Sure, he loved Chewbacca, he always had, whether he wanted to admit it or not. Chewbacca loved him back all the same. However, he blamed the Wookie for his disappearing father, even though the blame wasn’t his to have. He knew that too, some part of him knew that. “He wouldn’t have listened to you anyway.” Ren said in defeat, plopping back down in the chair. “If he didn’t go on adventures with you, he would have found someone else.”

            Chewbacca joined him now in sitting in the co-pilot seat. The two staring out at the moonlit sea in front of them. Silence overtaking them as old wounds slowly healed. There was a conflict within the Wookie; he wanted so much to hate the man next to him. What he had become, what he chose to be. Yet, there was something he couldn’t let go of. That monster in the seat next to him; that was still Ben Solo. The only living piece of his late best friend. The child he had sworn to help protect, help raise… Ben Solo was still in there somewhere. He had to be. And while he hated everything Kylo Ren chose to be, he still made that promise to Han Solo, and a Wookie never breaks their promise.

            The Wookie howled then, looking at Kylo Ren knowingly; a hint of a playful smirk on his lips. Kylo Ren smirked as well, rolling his eyes. “Yeah, imagine me, a father someday.” The Wookie groaned again. “I doubt Ash will let you take him to climb trees on Kashyyyk, she’s more like my mother than I care to admit. Very strong headed.” Chewie snorted. “Well, it was your fault my arm broke.” The Wookie roared unhappily as he argued back, Kylo Ren actually chuckling at the uproar. “It’s been well over twenty years and that’s still a sore subject.”

            Chewie glared before looking back out at the ocean. His expression softening as he roared one last time. Kylo Ren’s smirk fading instantly at his comment. “That’s the second time someone has told me I have too much of my father in me.” The first had been Snoke. Their conversation ended there as the two continued to silently stare out the cockpit windshield. Neither one moving as the air cleared as much as it could between the two. A hostile relationship, built from the murder of a friend; a father. It was a lot on both of them, but a bridge could always be rebuilt.

 

* * *

 

            Ash woke in the middle of the night to an empty bed. She didn’t want to be alone, she **_couldn’t_** be alone. She was scared, although she would never admit to it. She removed herself from the bed and dressed. Maybe he was only outside the hut? She knew the answer to that, she couldn’t feel him close by.

            Ash walked outside, bathing in the moonlight as she stared at the quiet village, noticing the light in Rey’s hut was on. Biting her lip, she walked over to the hut and knocked on the door before entering.

            Rey was sitting up in bed, her legs to her chest as she looked at Ash. “Can’t sleep either?” She asked knowingly.

 Ash stood perfectly still. “I’m afraid to. I’m afraid to be alone, I’m afraid of what’s going to happen...”

            Rey understood; they both knew what the other was feeling. Their minds had been violated by one of the purest evils in the galaxy. They felt helpless and no one else, not Luke or Kylo Ren, could understand what they had gone through. “Ash… if I asked you to…” She didn’t have to finish her sentence, Ash was already across the room and climbing into her bed with her. Rey laughed. “I guess you don’t want to sleep alone either?”

            “Not at all.” She admitted with a nervous laugh of her own.

“What about Kylo Ren?” Rey asked. “Won’t he be mad you’re in here?”

            Ash shrugged. “I’m not sure where he went.” Rey looked concerned before Ash dismissed her fears. “Don’t worry, he’s still on the island, I can feel him. He’s just… he’s got his own stuff to sort out. We all do.”

            “Do you think we can do this?” Rey immediately asked. That similar question coming back like a haunting reminder. “Do you think we can fight Snoke and win?”

Ash brushed her red locks behind her ears; her nervous trait coming forward. “I’ve been thinking about that too. After what happened earlier; after everything that’s happened. Is this something we can do? Can we succeed and change the galaxy for the better?” She thought for a moment. Ash needed to bring Kylo Ren and Rey together, the three of them were in this together. It was then she decided she had to do what she was always meant to do; protect the ones she loved. With a reassured smile, even though a little shaky in that moment, she nodded. “We can.” She said. “We can and we will.”

            Rey smiled slightly as she chose to believe her. “Mind staying with me for a while?”

Ash’s smile grew a little more. “I think we both could use that right now.” Ash couldn’t remember if she had ever had a friend like Rey. Sure, she had people she was close with; the maintenance crew from StarKiller being a few faces that came to mind. But, Ash never really had a friend. Neither did Rey. Sure, she had Finn, but she didn’t have a friend she felt she could tell everything to.

            The girls lied down on the bed, staring up at the ceiling and continued to make small talk. Sometimes, they even found a brief moment of laughter within it. They needed it; desperately. They had something special. A friendship that neither one had realized would be one of the most important friendships of their lives. For just one moment, they simply existed as two friends and not two Force Users destined to change the fate of the galaxy.

 


	47. Misadventures

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The group goes their separate ways for a while.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So... I wrote 3 different endings. One where it'll probably divisive on how we feel about it. One where y'all are gonna hate me. And one that would make a sequel. But the problem is I'm not sure if I want to make a sequel. So now I'm stuck in limbo for a while.

* * *

 

             To his amusement (and somewhat jealousy), Kylo Ren had found Ash and Rey sleeping in Rey’s hut. He had gone looking for her after finding out she wasn’t in their hut no longer. He had found her cuddled up next to Rey in her hut, the two sleeping soundly. He couldn’t be there for his red head when she needed him most, not in the way she needed him. She needed a companion, someone who understood. Rey was that person; and while he hated it, he also appreciated it to some degree.  

            What Kylo Ren didn’t appreciate, however, was the unexpected visit from his Uncle the next morning. Luke entered the hut without so much as an introduction, knowing his nephew wasn’t going to come to him. He had to make the first move. “Han was a man of change, but he had his consistencies, particularly in keeping that ship exactly how it was for over thirty years now.” He said absentmindedly. “Did you enjoy your trip down memory lane last night?”

            Ren frowned. “Is this the part where we bond over my late father and rekindle our family ties?” Luke said nothing as Kylo Ren scoffed. “Sorry, but you tried to kill me. It’s a bit late for forgiveness.”

            “Yet you expect forgiveness for what you had done to your father. A bit of a double standard, no?” Kylo Ren’s fist clenched tightly as he tried not to show any extra hidden emotions. “Snoke reached out to the girls, taking their thoughts for his own; he tried to kill Ashlyn by sending her off a cliff. What do you plan to do about it?”

            “I plan on running him through with my lightsaber, however I need those stones.” He stated flatly, as though that plan was so obvious.

            “How?” He was adamant about getting an answer from his very flippant nephew.

Ren shrugged. “You suggested Naboo. I guess I’ll start there.” They said nothing for a moment before Kylo Ren asked the other burning question. “And what will you do while we fight for your survival?”

            Luke was taken back by that sentiment. “You’re fighting for more than just **_my survival_** , Ben.”

            “You didn’t answer my question.” The two were staring each other down as the red haired grey user stumbled into the hut, stopping dead in her tracks as she saw the two of them in her hut.

            “Oh, this is awkward.” She mumbled. “I’ll see myself out--”

“Don’t bother.” Kylo said, his eyes still on Luke. “He was just leaving.”

            Luke smirked, knowingly as he looked at Ashlyn. “You look rested, feel any better?”

Ash offered him a small smile. “I do, thanks.”

            “Friendship goes a long way.” He said cryptically, knowing it was going to boil is nephew up from the inside as he saw himself out of the hut.

            Ash felt Kylo Ren tense for a moment before she sighed. “Are you angry that I slept in Rey’s hut last night?” She asked. “We were talking and eventually just--”

            Kylo interrupted her. “I’m not, actually. I’m happy you were able to find some rest.” His tone didn’t agree with that.

            “But you’re still annoyed.”

He sighed. “More at myself for not being the one to comfort you.”

            Ash smiled at him as she walked over and hugged his side. His arm wrapped around her almost unwillingly, but out of a habit he was so eagerly easy to accept. “Where did you go last night?”

            “I had a few things to sort out.” His reply was truthful as it was cryptic. “Is Rey awake?”

Ash looked at him skeptically. “Yeah, she woke up when I did.”

            “We have to talk about our next step; we can’t stay here.” Kylo Ren said. “I have a bad feeling about--” He stopped himself, his lips pursing over the words that were not his own. “We just need to start moving.”

            Ash beamed now as she looked up at him. “Are you saying you’re ready to work as a team?”

            He scoffed. “Don’t let this go to your head, Ash.”

Ash pulled away from him, still smiling her goofy smile. “We are finally going to be a team!”

            “Ashlyn.” He said warningly.

“What should we call ourselves? Team Force--” Ash yelped then as Kylo Ren scooped her up in his arms. She began laughing loudly as she kicked her legs, trying to break free.

             He was grinning as he cradled her tightly against his chest. “You’re going to be the death of me, you know that?”

            She beamed as she leaned up just enough to kiss him. “So, you’ve said, yet it hasn’t happened.”

“You two are disgusting.” The two Force Users looked to the doorway, seeing Rey standing there with a mixed expression of being grossed out and yet, ultimately (and also reluctantly), accepting of what was happening in front of her.

            “Oh, Rey! Perfect timing!” Ash exclaimed, looking to Kylo Ren and nodding at Rey. Reluctantly, he put down Ash. “We have something to discuss with you.”

            “And I have something I need to talk to you about.” She changed the subject, looking at Kylo Ren now. “Both of you. Chewie received a message on the Falcon early this morning from the Resistance.” Rey informed them. “There was an attack on D’Qar. They had to evacuate.”

            Ash’s heart sank at the news; she left them at the worst time. They needed her… but, so did Kylo Ren. This constant back and forth between action and reaction was really beginning to weigh down on her. “Where are they now?” Kylo Ren asked.

            Rey looked at him questioningly; unsure if she should say. However, she trusted Ash, which meant she unfortunately had to trust him too. “They’re heading for a planet called Crait.”

            “We should meet them there.” Ash was quick to offer her assistance. “Make sure everyone is okay; help them repair any ships.”

            Kylo frowned. “We need to start finding the stones, we can’t waste any more time.”

Ash looked at him; her eyes pleading. “We need to make sure they’re alright.”

            Now, he was getting angry. “You mean, make sure your **_pilot_** is alright?”

Rey stared at the two before it suddenly clicked. “Someone seems jealous.”

            If there was a wrong thing to say, it was probably that. Kylo Ren clenched his fists. “Stay out of this, scavenger.”

            Ash groaned loudly, throwing her arms in the air. “Stars, you two are **_impossible_**!” She shouted, interrupting the potential fight. “We need to make sure the Resistance is okay, but he’s right. We have to find the stones.” She looked at Rey. “Go to Crait, help them in any way you can. We’ll head to Naboo and get whatever information we can find.” Rey looked as though she was about to protest. “Please…”

            Reluctantly, she agreed. “Alright, Chewie and I will head to Crait. Don’t stay away too long and keep in touch as much as possible.”

            Ash nodded. “I will.”

“While I hate being the bearer of bad news.” That wasn’t exactly true. Kylo Ren **_loved_** bringing up bad news when it was convenient.  “We have two ships, one is a wanted piece of crap and the other is the Silencer. We can’t show up to Naboo in either for multiple reasons. We currently have no ship.”

            Ash suddenly had this look in her eyes, a look that concerned both Rey and Kylo Ren as she realized she had an answer. “I know a guy...”

           

           

* * *

 

           

            The group had begun their preparations to leave Ahch-To, something Kylo Ren was more than eager to do as he impatiently waited by the Silencer; rolling his eyes as Ash hugged Rey tightly. “We’ll see each other soon.” Rey promised. “I’ll help the Resistance as best I can.”

            “Once we find reliable info, we’ll travel to Crait and discuss the next step for us.” Ash said as the two girls pulled away. “You might need to...um… warn them about--” She nodded back at the grumpy Kylo Ren, who stood with his arms crossed.

            Rey grimaced. “They’re not going to be happy.”

“They’ll feel better when they see me.” Luke called to the group as he came down the mountain with a satchel around his body.

            Kylo Ren nearly lost his mind as he tensed. There was **_no way_** he was going to allow Skywalker to get off this island and rejoin his Mother on Crait. “You’re not coming too.” He looked at Ash, whom was shrugging as Rey smirked. “He is not going to Crait too. He’s going to stay on this stupid island and--”

            Luke rolled his eyes before interrupting the tantrum. “Yeah, yeah. Stay and rot on this stupid island. I get it.” Luke inhaled deeply. “Someone has to keep an eye on all of you, and it might as well be me.” He said with a wink as he boarded the Millennium Falcon.

            “May the Force be with you.” Rey said quickly to Ash, hugging her one last time before following Luke.

Ash smiled as she walked over to the very angry Dark user, planting a kiss on his cheek. “Come on, you. Into the tiny death trap.”

            “The two of them are going to be just awful.”

“Rey and Luke?”

            Kylo made a face. “No, Luke and my mother.”

Ash snickered as the two got into the Silencer, making their way to a planet Ash thought she’d never see again; Lothal.

 

* * *

 

            Traitors of the First Order that had been captured during the battle for the Finalizer were executed immediately. Well, almost all of the traitors; say for one. Snoke personally wanted to deal with his execution. That was where the former General was headed as he sat in the prison cell of a First Order transport. His wrists cuffed, his cheek bruised as dry blood crusted on his split lip.

            Damar made sure he was tortured before his departure from the Finalizer. Armitage Hux would never give up information, Damar knew that. He didn’t bother trying to obtain anything from him. Instead, he took sick pleasure in connecting his fist with the former General’s face over and over again.

            Now, he sat in the quiet ship, awaiting his fate. He wasn’t sad, or even scared. In fact, he was pretty content all things considered. Kylo Ren was completing his mission regarding the stones to take down Snoke, and Phasma? A small smile curled on his lips as he thought fondly of the blonde Captain. She was safe.

 

            ‘ _As the battle began to see its end, it was Phasma and Hux (like it typically was), until the very end. Time was running out as they assisted in the escape of the remaining loyal Troopers to their cause. But, there wasn’t enough time. Hux knew that; hell, they both did. She was ready to stay behind, it was her belief to be the one to stay behind and help the escape._

_Phasma removed her helmet, clutching it under her arm tightly as the sound of First Order Troopers on the other side of the escape pod room door echoed loudly. The remaining Troopers loyal to Phasma were escaping in the last pod. One of them would have to go with the Troopers, they needed a leader. Phasma believed Hux to be that leader. “You need to get on the last pod out. I’ll keep them off you.” Phasma directed, looking at the tired and worn out ginger. He looked exhausted; beaten. He had been through so much, they both had._

_Hux, however, saw it differently. He looked at the woman who had been by his side for so many years. She was the only thing keeping him going now. He knew if he left, Damar would hunt him down mercilessly. However, if Phasma left and he stayed? They’d have a small victory, giving some time to escape for Phasma and the others. “Oh, Phasma.” Hux said airly; grinning even. A grin of satisfaction, a grin she hadn’t seen in so long. “You know that’s not how this is going to go.” Without warning, he kissed her cheek, saluted her, and shoved her onto the escape pod._

_He slammed his fist into the release hatch button, the door sealing shut with Phasma and the last remaining Troopers inside. When Phasma stood, it was already too late. Her fist connected with the escape pod window; she was screaming at Hux for what he had done. The last thing she saw was his tired and cocky smirk as Troopers loyal to Snoke stormed into the room to capture him. The escape pod blasting away to safety; the only chance for the New Order was now in her hands.’_

 

            A noble end, in his mind. An end that would never come, however, as the ship came to a sudden and abrupt halt. An alarm sounded in the distance as Hux looked up from his seat; grinning as the sound of blasters echoed throughout the halls of the transport.

            Hux stood then, stretching as much as he could as the door blasted open, revealing the chromed armor and two Troopers following in her wake. “General.” She was clearly smirking under her mask.

            “Well, it’s about damn time, Captain.” Hux mused as the Troopers rushed over to him and removed the cuffs. “What have I missed?”

            “Sorry this took longer than we anticipated.” Phasma explained. “Damar initiated the attack on D’Qar, we had to interfere.”

            Hux nodded. “Understandable. Any word from Ren?”

“None.” She confirmed. “We will need to reach out soon.”

            “Get me a blaster and let’s get off this bloody ship.” Hux’s tone dry. “I’m tired of being here.”

 “As you wish, General.” It was time to reunite with Kylo Ren.

* * *

  


            The Silencer exited hyperspace and was now positioned directly in front of Lothal. Ash, although crammed behind Kylo Ren, shifted just enough to see it. She stared for what felt like an eternity, feeling almost nothing for what was once her home. The place she had left to work freelance for the First Order; it left nothing inside her. “Interesting.” Kylo Ren mused as Ash hummed curiously at what he was referring to. “Every planet you have seen in person, you gush over it as though it’s the most beautiful thing you’ve ever seen. Lothal? I’ve never felt you so reluctant over seeing a planet before.”

            “I should be feeling something, right?” Ash noted. “Like seeing home for the first time in so long, it should fill me with something. Maybe even something bittersweet? But I feel nothing.”

            “Because it wasn’t home.” Kylo Ren stated. “You lived there, but it never had that attachment.” That was something he knew and understood very well. Nowhere felt like home, he just simply existed in some capacity somewhere in the Galaxy. That was it; he held no attachments to such things. He never needed to.

            Ash’s lips twisted upwards to a small smile as she stared at the back of his head. “You’re right, it wasn’t home.” She agreed. “Home isn’t a place to me; it’s where I feel safe, connected… loved.”

            He grinned cockily. “So, are you saying being with me is ‘home’ for you?”

Ash rolled her eyes, hitting his seat playfully. “Sure, Ren.” She admitted, chuckling. “I could go anywhere with you and I’d probably be happy. That has to count for something, right?”

            It did. It counted for everything as far as he was concerned. He didn’t have to say as much, they could feel it. They could feel exactly what the other was feeling at any given moment; it was in their bond. And although, Ash secretly wished he’d say so out loud, she also respected that this was Kylo Ren. He answered things with mostly silence and in that silence, came the understanding of what he meant. It was safe to say, Ash was beginning to figure him out and know him better than he even knew himself. Yet, there was always that grey area. That small part that neither one knew about each other. Deep and hidden things that could very well come to the surface, things that should be said. But, maybe then wasn’t the time.         

           

* * *

 

            Kylo Ren noticed a drastic shift on the planet’s surface. One area was filled with plains and hills; small farm houses and lakes. Then, almost suddenly, that all faded into a more industrial section. The influence of traders, scavengers and ‘no goods’ had grown heavier over the years. Something he planned on changing once everything was said and done. There was chaos; a lack of order. Kylo Ren wanted order among the galaxy and he knew he’d be the one to bring it.

            They docked the TIE Silencer on the outskirts of the industrial section, per Ash’s instructions. She simply asked Kylo Ren to trust her on this one, and he did. However, he didn’t truly care for the walk that would be awaiting them as they began to walk closer and closer to the industrial side of Lothal.

            The smell of grease and oil filled the air almost immediately, a stench that was impossible to ignore as the two walked down the dirty streets and towards a very large hangar building. They were still on the outskirts of the full industrial side of Lothal, yet, they wouldn’t have to walk far to get deeper. Something Ash seemed very hesitant to do.

            “Once we get inside, let me do all the talking.” Ash muttered, the two standing off to the side of the entrance. “These guys are good people, but they don’t look it. They also hate outsiders, so, just follow my lead.” Kylo Ren quirked his brow, curious as to what she meant as the two walked into the hangar.

              Kylo Ren had never seen such an array of ships in his life; from speeders to X-wings, TIE Fighters and shuttles. This place was like a museum. It was also dead. No one was around as the two walked deeper into the shop. That began to worry Kylo Ren as his hand grazed his lightsaber. Something was wrong, he could feel it. His suspicions only confirmed with a dozen men jumped out, blasters raised as they surrounded the duo. Suddenly, Kylo Ren realized what Ash meant. These mechanics were all pirates, traders, scavengers, the lowest of the low. Scum. This is where Ash came from.

             His lightsaber was out the moment their blasters aimed for them, ready to fight his way out with Ash. Ash quickly held her hands up. “Hey! We’re not here to cause problems!” She called out to the group. ‘ _Put down your lightsaber or we’re not getting out of here alive…’_

            He was glaring, not moving for a few moments before finally retracting his lightsaber. He was going to trust her and that she knew what she was doing. “Ashlyn Novafall.” A deep and booming voice called out to her as a rather tall and muscular Lasat walked forward. He had a black patch over his left eye, his hair shaved on both sides and untamable in the middle. A dark beard to match what remaining hair he did have. His black boots echoing as he walked forward. “You shouldn’t have come back.” That was Tryphus; the creature who kept the boys in line. Laynor’s second in command in the shop. He got things done when things needed a push.

            Ash wasn’t about to be tripped up by him; she typically didn’t fear him when she worked here. “I need Laynor.”

“You broke the man’s heart when you joined the First Order.” Tryphus grinned wickedly. “He disowned you the moment you said you weren’t coming home.”

            Ash frowned. “He sent me there in the first place.”

“As freelance.”

            “Still am.” She argued.

Tryphus chuckled at her snappy reply. “We’ll see.” His attention turned to the very, **_very_** annoyed looking man behind the short red-haired girl. “You brought muscle, can’t fight your own battles anymore, Ash?”

            “Don’t talk to him.” Ash snapped. “I came here for Laynor, now take me to him.”

Tryphus grinned then, looking back to Ash as he winked. “You know, it’s funny--.” He began. “The First Order sent a message to all systems; a wanted post if you will. They’re looking for a TIE vn; you know, a superiority fighter. Kind-of like the one you showed up in.” Ash felt her resolve begin to shake as Kylo Ren stepped forward, getting closer to the Lasat. Tryphus grinned again, looking back at Kylo Ren. “They were looking for someone that fits your description. That wouldn’t be you, right?”

            Ash forced her arms forward in a swift and smooth motion; Tryphus was thrown back. The blasters readied again; aiming once more. They’d fire to kill once given the word. Tryphus laughed, sitting up as he looked at Ash again. “The old man said you got weirder. I didn’t think he meant weirder like **_that_**.” He stood up, brushing off his pants as he began to walk back over.

            “Enough!” Another voice called out, the room immediately standing still as an older man walked out from behind a nearby fighter. He walked by Tryphus, pushing passed him before walking over to the very angry Kylo Ren and the now uncertain Ashlyn Novafall. He looked around at his men with their blasters raised. “Lower your weapons.” He barked; they obeyed almost immediately as he looked at Ash, his voice low. “You have some nerve coming back here.” There was history and turmoil here between Ash and Laynor Gal-Far. That was obvious as the two stared at each other. She was a ghost; she died on StarKiller as far as everyone was concerned. He locked eyes with Kylo Ren before sighing and looking back at Ash, like a daughter who was in trouble. “Follow me.”

            Ash didn’t hesitate as she followed Laynor, Kylo Ren took a little more of a pause as he glared at the scum around him. If he had his way, he’d kill them all, take a ship and be done with it. Nope, they had to do with Ash’s way. Her way almost got them killed, which he was gladly going to hold over her head if they lived through this.

 

      

* * *

     

            The door to his office peeled open quickly as the elderly man stormed in, followed by Ash and Kylo Ren. “Ashlyn Novafall.” He spat, plopping down in his office chair. “You have **_some_** nerve coming here after what you did to me.”

            Ash scoffed as the office door sealed shut. “What I did to **_you_**? Laynor, you sent me against my will to work for the First Order, which I might add nearly got me killed!”

            “You were dead! That’s the last we heard from you. You were never coming back and then StarKiller exploded!” Laynor shouted, his expression hard. “Ash, I promised your father I would keep you safe and I did. I kept you safe for years, you were like my own child.”

            Ash rolled her eyes; they truly did argue like Father and Daughter. “Your own child?! You put me to work early on and used me for my mechanical skills. You told me to hide whatever it was that I was dealing with! I was scared and you told me to hide everything!”

            The room was dead silent then. “It kept you alive for this long, didn’t it? I did my best with you, **_for_** you. Keeping one of your kind hidden and out of sight from those who mean to hurt you wasn’t easy.”    

            “And I appreciate that; I really do.” Ash admitted, letting her anger go as she plopped down into one of the chairs in the office. Kylo Ren still stood there awkwardly, unmoving as he watched the scene play out before him. “And I know it’s wrong to come here asking for help, but…”

            “No.” Laynor said quickly. “No, no, no, no. You don’t come here after all that has happened and expect a handout.”

            Ash smirked, now she would play her cards right. “You know I never expect a handout, I always have something to trade.” Laynor was suddenly interested. “It’s a TIE Silencer, the only one of its kind. The parts would fetch a huge price on the market.”

            Laynor sighed. “Kid, you always knew how to get to my heart.” Kylo Ren nearly fell over at the exchange. First, they were nearly killed by these scum, then Ash was being screamed at by the old man, and now they were making a deal? He was impressed and also completely annoyed that she also simply sold his ship without warning. “Let me see this Silencer.”

            “It’s on the outskirts; have the boys bring it in and we can talk about a trade.” Ash said.

“So, what do you need a ship for? On the run?” Laynor asked, reclining in his chair. He looked to Kylo Ren then back to Ash. “You’re not uh…” He nodded at her stomach.

Ash grinned at how uncomfortable Kylo Ren became at the accusation. “No, but we need to blend in and we need to be able to run if we have to.”

            “Where to?” He asked, rubbing his chin in thought as he began to process what ships were in his yard.

            “Naboo; Theed specifically.” Kylo Ren finally chimed in.

“So, he does speak.” Laynor mused as he thought for a moment. “You need something elegant; something that blends in with the rich folk of Naboo.” He thought for a beat more before laughing. “Take the Star Yacht.”

            Ash’s eyes went wide. “The Libertine?”

“Since you kids seem desperate; doing your little elope thing or whatever--” Kylo Ren and Ash exchanged glances, Ash silently warning him not to challenge Laynor’s beliefs right then. “Consider it a gift.”

            Ash smiled sweetly. “You’re too kind.”

“Once they finish checking out the Silencer, it’s yours.” Laynor offered; the two now being proud owners of a Star Yacht. “I know the First Order is after that Silencer of yours.” He added. “They sent a message out to all loyalists; bounty hunters and all that. You two have a lot of trouble following you. I can make sure you get safely out of Lothal, but not until dark. Then you can be on your way.”

            “Thank you, Laynor.” Ash said as sincerely as she could. “I really do appreciate it.”

He snorted. “Well, you were always like a daughter I never had. When Reed passed, I made sure money was still coming to your mother. Shame what happened to them. All of them.” Ash felt her stomach tighten; like someone punched her right in the gut. She hadn’t heard her father’s name in so long, she hadn’t said it either. Same for her mother and brother, their names were like a curse. If she brought them up… she didn’t know what could happen. Hell, she didn’t even know if she **_could_** say their names anymore. Laynor looked at Kylo Ren then. “You take care of this one; she’s special to me.”

            Ren nodded, looking at Ash then. “You have my word she’ll be safe.”

Laynor nodded in approval. “Well, we should celebrate. You’re not dead--” He nodded to Ash. “And apparently eloping. Also, I got me a new ship.” He gave a toothy grin that Kylo Ren wasn’t sure he liked, but that was something he’d keep to himself as the three left Laynor’s office and returned to the hangar.

 

* * *

 

            Rey practically ran down the Millennium Falcon ramp and jumped into Finn’s arms as he met her at the entrance of the newly relocated Resistance base on Crait. She hugged him tightly, never wanting to let go again. The last she saw him, he was unconscious after fighting Kylo Ren. She was so happy to see him up and moving around again. “It’s good to have you back.” She said quietly.

             “Glad to be back.” Finn confirmed as he hugged her just a little tighter.

The remaining Resistance members were all waiting in anticipation as the legend, Luke Skywalker, walked down the ramp. Immediately, he hated being back into the waking world. How easily people took his existence to be of more value than it was. However, none of that mattered as the older woman walked forward. A woman he hadn’t seen in so long, yet it felt like only yesterday they parted. The two walking closer, like magnets unable to control their movement, as they stood in front of one another. “Leia…” He tried.

              “I know what you’re going to say.” She smiled. “I changed my hair.”

He smiled back. “I like it.” The two hugging then, holding onto each other for a lingering moment. The twins were reunited once more, and after all that has happened within the last twenty-nine years, it was a moment of relief, a moment of hope. A moment they both desperately needed without truly realizing it.

            It seemed everyone had someone waiting for them, someone to hug within the new recruits. Well, everyone except Poe Dameron. He stared at the empty exit ramp for a few moments longer than he would have liked, realizing Ash was not with them. “She had something to attend to.” Rey said after finally letting go of Finn. The trio reunited again.

            “Where did she go?” Poe asked. Rey looked at Poe, then to Finn, then back at Poe before grimacing slightly. Poe frowned. “Rey… where is Ash?” Rey, now in an awkward position, said nothing as all eyes seemed to focus on her. This proved to be quite the sticky situation, one that Rey couldn’t figure out how to get out of.

            Thankfully, she didn’t have to. Leia was the one who interrupted the moment. “I think we have things to discuss. Shall we?” Things were about to get seriously and indubitably complicated.

 

* * *

 

            Ash and Kylo Ren sat around a fire that was lit inside an old oil drum; the hangar was always freezing at night. Something Ash was quickly reminded of as they sat around it. The maintenance crew had retrieved the Silencer and were finishing their examination of it; making sure there was no tracker unit that would royally screw them over.

            The two Force Users sat in silence, their eyes peering over at the crew as they rummaged through the ship every so often. “So--” Kylo began, looking at Ash with amusement and also a slight hint of annoyance. “Reputable mechanic shop full of scumbags?”

            Ash grimaced. “They’re not all scumbags.” She tried to argue, only coming up short. “Laynor takes in all kinds of creatures, he rehabilitates them from their crummy lives and turns them into something useful. Well--” She scoffed. “Useful to him. We all came from different backgrounds, different experiences that typically were bad to us and were given a second chance. Sure, they’re all hard on the exterior. Inside? They’re not bad. Just because we came from something bad, doesn’t mean we’re scum.”

            As if on cue, the Lasat wandered over, holding two oddly shaped bottles. Ash immediately recognized what it was. “Laynor tells me you two are on the run.” Tryphus said with little emotion. “He also said you two were secretly eloping, not sure where he got that from.”

            Ash smirked. “Me either.”

“Either way, both are cause for a celebration--” He paused. “ ** _And_** an olive branch.” He handed the two Force Users a bottle of their own. “Drink up, kids. You have some time before dark.”

            Ash nodded, looking at the bottle before backup at Tryphus. “Thanks.”

He groaned. “Don’t thank me yet. That stuff is strong.”

            “So I’ve learned.” Ash quipped as Tryphus snickered, walking back over to the rest of the crew by the Silencer.

            Kylo Ren examined the bottle, making sure it hadn’t been opened before being handed to him. After accepting that it wasn’t poisoned (although, being Gamorrean beer, that was hard to argue that the stuff wasn’t just pure gasoline to begin with), he opened his bottle.

            “Do you hate me now knowing I was part of the scum of the galaxy?” Ash asked, cracking open the top of her bottle.

            He smirked. “Well, you are very pretty for scum.”

Ash laughed, taking a swig of the beer. Kylo Ren mimicking her movement. “You know--” She began. “I don’t think I’ve ever seen you drink before.”

He snorted; amused at her observation. “I typically don’t, but since we’re celebrating I might as well.”

            She frowned. “Celebrating?”

Kylo Ren’s grin widened. “We’re eloping, remember?”

            He chuckled as Ash hit his arm playfully, looking around nervously to make sure no one heard him. “You’re not funny. It got us a ship, okay?”

            “Lying to get what you want.” He clicked his tongue to the roof of his mouth. “You become more and more like me each and every day.”

            She rolled her eyes. “This is different; we need the ship for something really important. Besides, it’s not like we’re hurting anyone with the lie. We’re not actually eloping or anything.” He took a swig from the bottle in his hand, the strong bitter taste from the beer burning down his throat. Stars, Gamorrean’s were never subtle, even in their drinks. Ash noticed his avoidance in her reply. “What is it?”

            He shrugged. “I’m curious.”

“Oh no--”

            He snorted at her immediate reluctance to his question. “Have you ever thought about it?”

Ash frowned. “About what?”

           “Getting married.” Ren scoffed at her obliviousness in the conversation. “You wanted to be simply Ashlyn Novafall; did that ever include marriage; a family? What did living a simple life mean to you?”

            A question she never expected; especially from him. “I’m not sure.” She answered truthfully; laughing nervously as her finger traced the lip of the bottle. “I guess I never actually thought about what went into living a simple life. I talked so much about it, but I don’t think I even know what that entails.” She looked back at the fire, watching the red, orange and amber colors mix together. Pieces of burnt ashes flying upward; Ash felt her cheeks burning even though the rest of her was actually cold. She wasn’t really sure if it was from the heat or her next thought. She prayed the night would hide the redness in her cheeks as she brushed her hair behind her ear. “I honestly didn’t really think about a family until my vision.” She noticed immediately that his face remained unmoved. “What about you?”

            He clenched the bottle tighter, Ash was afraid it would snap in his hand. “I watched my parent’s marriage fall apart.” He explained, holding all emotion in like he typically would. “Han Solo left my mother when I was discovering my true potential. Not that he was ever really present before that either. He was gone on different adventures for most of my childhood. He was never meant for a domestic life and my mom knew that. It still wasn’t easy for her to watch him leave.”

            “Is that why you hated him?”

Kylo Ren exhaled sharply, his lips curling upward into a sarcastic smile. “It’s funny how people are quick to assume that I hated my father. It makes sense why they believe that. He left me feeling abandoned; like I wasn’t good enough for him to want to stay.” He explained. “That my mother and I weren’t good enough for him.” He took another swig of the disgusting beer, slowly growing a taste for it, probably due to the lack of anything else to drink. “No, I didn’t hate him. I just never wanted to the opportunity to ever be like him.” His answered seemed final to Ash, like that was the ultimate end of that conversation and the idea of marriage and family. Then, he smiled ever so slightly. “But a lot of my beliefs have drastically changed in the past year.”

            Ash looked at him curiously. “How so?”

“You came along.” Ash’s cheeks burned even more. “Now the fear of ending up just like him is an even bigger reality.”

            “You won’t be.” Ash said thoughtfully with a smile. “I won’t let you leave me out on all your misadventures. They’re mine too now.”

            “I wouldn’t have it any other way, Starshine.” He admitted.

Ash’s small smile twisted into her own mischievous smirk then. “So, is this your way of asking me to marry you?”

            Kylo Ren laughed. “No, this is me asking if the opportunity ever came, would you take it?”

            Ash’s smirk faded into a small, sad smile as she answered honestly. “Unfortunately, we’re kind-of in the middle of a galactic war with no end in sight. I doubt the opportunity would ever present itself; not for a while.”

            He agreed with a quick nod. “If we live through this, we’ll get married.”

Ash’s smile grew again as she extended her hand to the other Force User. Ren rolled his eyes playfully, taking her hand in his and shaking it. “Deal, Commander.”

            “Hey lovebird!” The duo heard from across the hangar. Their heads turning to the direction of the Lasat as he pointed towards another part of the hangar. “Laynor has your new ship ready. It’s time to go.”

            Kylo Ren stood up then, Ash’s hand still in his as he helped her up. “Ready for our next misadventure?”

 “Always.” She smiled.

 


	48. The Impulsive Secret Union

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ash and Kylo Ren do something really impulsive on their trip to Naboo

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guys, I really cannot thank y'all enough. Anytime I see an email come in that there's a new review, I can't help but feel such excitement and joy over it. Knowing you guys are reading, loving and supporting this story, it makes me so freaking happy. 
> 
> That being said, please know your reviews and comments are appreciated, whether they're a wall of text or a sentence. They all mean the world to me. So thank you to those who go out of their way each and every chapter and review. You are all rockstars.

* * *

 

              There was a lot to digest in the dedicated debriefing room on Crait, considering both Leia and Rey had news that drastically changed the course of things. The first bit of news involved the Ascension and their sudden interference with the Resistance and the First Order. Who were they and where did they come from? Still, no one had an answer for that. Rey had a feeling, however, that somehow Kylo Ren would have an answer. Granted, that inkling also came from her overall malice towards the man. Now, she was torn telling anyone her thought considering the option of it being helpful or just plain bias. Either way, that was the least of her worries after the news broke out about the state of Kylo Ren.

            The room erupted into mass chaos as Resistance officials argued over the legitimacy of Kylo Ren’s sudden turn and whether or not he actually had an allegiance to anything to begin with. This also turned into a witch hunt over Ash and that she had been an accomplice all along; then speedily went to Leia and Poe knowing, only to immediately be squashed by the ever-so-graceful scolding of General Organa.

           Only after the room calmed down to a quiet murmur did Luke Skywalker finally chime in with the news of the prophecy and the plan to take down Snoke. There was also a bare minimum of effort on his part to clear his nephew’s name. Really bare minimum effort… however, people listened regardless.

           While still exhibiting complete and total hesitation regarding working with Kylo Ren, at least the room no longer demanded for Ash’s blood and began to (debatably) understand that things were much more complicated than initially thought. That was a very small step in a positive direction according to Rey.

             Then somehow Luke let the smallest of notions that Ash and Kylo Ren were sort-of a “thing” slip and the room all but exploded. In his defense, he thought that would help show that Kylo Ren could be controlled enough to benefit them. It didn’t. And thus here they were. Complete and utter chaos that seemed to have the entire base in a frenzy and ultimately lead to General Organa, Luke Skywalker, Poe Dameron (reluctantly after learning the news), Finn and Rey meeting in a more private setting to discuss their game plan and find a better way to present these ideas without causing such an uproar. At least, having a more solid plan would appease the masses. Or so they thought.

            “I don’t think we should trust the Ascension.” Poe added, a little burnt up from the news about Ash and Kylo Ren. Even though he tried not to let it show, it basically was impossible to hide and everyone in the immediate room knew. He wasn’t angry that Ash was seeing someone, in fact, he was more than okay with that considering the other part of the issue. She was seeing Kylo Ren. Or rather, that was the rumor. The same man that tortured him, nearly killed him… **_that_** Kylo Ren. It didn’t make him feel good. “I mean, what if this whole thing really just a ploy from the First Order and Kylo Ren?”

            “Poe has a point.” Finn said. “We don’t know anything about the Ascension and if they really did want to help us, why won’t they reach out to us again?”

            Rey spoke up in Ash’s defense. “We don’t, but Ash was the one who told me that the First Order was after Kylo Ren and I trust her. Regarding this other group, I’m not sure who they are. But, when it comes to Kylo Ren--” She made a face. “As much as it pains me to say this, I believe there is truth in him no longer being part of the First Order.”

            Leia exchanged a quick glance with Luke before intervening. “Then we should wait until Ash reaches out to us again. Once they return to Crait with the information on these stones, perhaps they can shed some light on this other group. Regardless, we need to find out sooner rather than later the Ascensions motive.”

 

 

* * *

 

           

            Ash was silent from the moment she hugged Laynor goodbye, nodded to the rest of the crew and even after takeoff. While she felt no attachment to Lothal any longer, there was that somber bittersweet feeling of goodbye that Ash wasn’t used to. Something she felt she should be all things considered. She kept at a distance from people for a reason; everyone seemed to leave her. Whether it was their own doing or not. Yet, the people she did manage to hold on to, she held on with an iron grip. Laynor was not someone she held on to, someone she felt she should have, but ultimately couldn’t. And maybe it was better this way for everyone involved. To leave that attachment; that life behind her and start a new.

            It didn’t take long for her to explore the Star Yacht, in fact, she was practically running through the entire ship just to see it all. While not the biggest Star Yacht, it still was a heck-of-a-lot more open than the Silencer. She had space to spread out and she did so eagerly, only to find herself bored at the lack of things to interact with. She came from one of the best maintenance shops in all the galaxy, of course nothing on the ship needed to be fixed. Although, she could simply break something and make herself useful. To her dismay, Kylo Ren wouldn’t allow that and eventually forced her to sit still in the cockpit with him.

            Now, the two sat in silence, staring out the cockpit as stars blurred passed them thanks to hyperdrive. A sight that she could see over and over again and still not get used to. Ash sat with her legs crossed in the copilot seat, her elbows resting on her knees and her hands holding up her chin as she stared at the blurry stars in front of them. “I’d make the bet that you’re going to stare in awe over Naboo; but I feel bad for winning such an easy bet.” Kylo Ren grinned from the pilot seat, almost mockingly.

            Ash frowned. “I don’t always stare in awe at planets.”

“Yes you do.”

            She side-eyed him then. “What, is it another grassy planet?” He said nothing. “Water planet?”

            “You’ll see when we get there, impatient one.” He knew he was peaking her interest then. Ash had a thing for planets and seeing new worlds. If they lived through all of this, maybe they’d travel to more. She had promised to join him on all his misadventures going forward. Then again, if he were to become the next Supreme Leader, he may not have time to travel. A necessary sacrifice, one he would be willing to give up to be in control of it all. Yet, looking at the red haired girl next to him, he wasn’t all that sure anymore.

            The ship exited hyperspace and Kylo Ren wish he had made that bet. Ash sat up, her eyes wide as she stared in awe, as he said she would. The planet was beautiful, even from all the way up here and only proved to be even more so as they flew closer to the surface. Kylo Ren was grinning as he watched Ash out of the corner of his eye as she took in the large structures of Theed. The palace, the beautiful surrounding city, the architecture. Ash had never seen anything like it before.

            She wasn’t the only one to stare, Ash turned her attention to the left to look at Kylo Ren, only to see another person standing there. Well, a ghost. Anakin appeared between the two seats in the cockpit, staring out at Naboo as the ship flew closer to Theed. Something in his expression Ash couldn’t place. He wasn’t staring in astonishment like she had been, but more of reluctance as he thought of something from long ago. The memory of what had once been; something he kept locked away. Even as a Force Ghost, memories like that continued to haunt him. It showed on his face as he continued to stare.

           Ash wanted to ask him, however, there were two problems here. One, Kylo Ren didn’t know she was seeing ghosts and the last thing she needed was to freak him out. Two, even if she wanted to bring it up, there was no way she could prove his existence.

          In her moment of conflict, Kylo Ren stared at her as he tried to figure out what the heck was going on in her pretty little head. “Ready?”

           She immediately snapped out of it, forcing a reassured smile as she nodded. “Yeah. Let’s do this.”

 

* * *

 

           Ash wasn’t prepared for the sheer size of Theed; the buildings were even bigger up close and Ash found herself completely and utterly lost among them. Luckily for her, she had Kylo Ren to guide her through. However, he wasn’t exactly in the touristy mood and kept them on the move. If the First Order sent out a message across the galaxy for his capture, he needed to be smart about it. Which, was all the more difficult with the bubbly red haired girl that kept wanting to see as much as possible.

               There was a celebration going on, it seemed. People were flocking to the main streets, there was music and dancing. The two avoided most of of the celebration and headed towards a brilliant pearl colored building.

                “So, what are we looking for?” Ashlyn asked curiously as the two walked through the a rather large arch way and now face to face with the beautiful courtyard of the Naboo library. The overall architecture was breathtaking, Ash had never seen anything like it.

            “Any information about the stones.” Kylo Ren explained briefly, keeping his typically nonchalant behavior as he continued. “The Naboo library has an extensive collection of older archival information, if anyone where to have knowledge of the stones, it’s them. However, the Naboo government doesn’t allow for people to check out these particular books, they must remain in the library. We need to take it from them.”

            Ash’s eyes went wide as she realized what they were doing. “We’re stealing from the Naboo government?”

            “The queen actually.” He answered smugly.

“You didn’t tell me that!” She exclaimed.

            “You didn’t ask.” He informed her. “Besides, I technically have a right to it. My grandmother was queen of Naboo.”

            Ash threw her arms up in protest. “That’s not how any of this works!”

Ren snaked his arm around Ashlyn’s back, pulling her to his chest and kissing her lips reassuringly. “Don’t worry.” He told her. “I have a plan.”

            “That doesn’t make me feel any better.” Her voice airy after being thrown off by his kiss.

“It probably shouldn’t. But, luckily for us, we arrived on a rather special day. Everyone is celebrating the festival.”

            Ash made a face as the two began to ascend the stairs into the library. “Festival?”

He gave her a pointed look. “You didn’t notice the celebration back there?”

            She grimaced. “I did--”

“It’s the festival of the Goddess. Basically, the entire planet shuts down to celebrate. And it’s perfect for getting in and out of the library while avoiding suspicion. No one will notice what we’re up to.” He explained as they entered the completely quiet library.

            Kylo Ren was right, everyone on Naboo was too busy celebrating the festival to be bothered with the archives. The place was empty; leaving the two Force Users to stare at massive bookshelves that extended for what felt like miles and miles. “This place is--” She gushed. “Incredible!”

            He smirked knowingly as the two continued walking. Well, Ash was practically skipping as she continued forward. Her eyes darting from row after row, taking in everything around her as Kylo Ren got down to business.

            The section they were looking for was hidden in a back area, a separate section behind two double oak doors with intricate details carved in them. Inside was a room that looked like it hadn’t been touched in ages. Dust settled on the tables, the shelves, everything. Kylo Ren knew something had to have been there.

            “Start reading.” Kylo Ren said; although he didn’t have to tell her twice as Ash quickly made her way to a bookshelf, eager to learn what she could. An eagerness that would diminish immediately as the two began to realize they were in way over their heads.

 

* * *

 

            Phasma had finished her part of the plan brilliantly. She not only assembled the twenty-thousand troopers she had in her arsenal, but each and every starship they needed was accounted for and fully operational. Even their new destroyer. Similar in size to the Finalizer, it was given to them by war profiteers thanks to the hefty and deep pockets of General Hux and the wealth he was given from his Father.

            Speaking of Hux, he was more than pleased with what Phasma had accomplished. His unhideable smirk only proved that point as he stared at the hologram map of the outer and mid rim territories. “Where are you hiding, Ren?” He muttered to mostly himself as he stared at the planets before him.

              The door to the command bay opened swiftly and in walked Phasma. For once, she wasn’t in her chrome armor and instead donned a white tank top and cargo pants. Hux couldn’t remember the last time he saw her in anything but her armor. “Any sign of him?” She asked, standing next to the ginger as they both surveyed the hologram.

              Hux clicked his tongue to the roof of his mouth. “Not yet. Our surveillance team has stationed multiple units among different planets. No one has seen or heard anything as of yet. Interestingly enough, the Silencer was spotted on Lothal, of all places. However, there was no further evidence to support that. The ship was gone.”

            “He could very well still be alive then.”

Hux scoffed. “He would simply refuse to die in spite of us.”

            Phasma grinned as she agreed. “Yes he would.”

“You came here for something else.” Hux said knowingly.

            Her face gave away absolutely nothing as she replied. “I did.” He waited patiently; almost expectantly of what she was going to say. “Next time I tell you to get onto the escape pod, you do it. Pull a stunt like that again and you will regret it. Are we clear?”

            The two turned to face each other now, Hux was smirking smugly. “You know I couldn’t let you take the fall.”

            “I asked you to.”

“And I refused.” He replied simply. “You are far more valuable to the troops and they trust you to lead them. If I should go down, you need to be the one to finish this.”

            Her lips formed a thin line as she stared intently at the man next to her. The man who always stood next to her, through all of this. They were always and undoubtedly together. “I almost didn’t get to you in time.” The verbage changing from the collective to the individual was enough to remind Hux exactly how much they meant to one another.

            “But you did.” He reminded her softly. “Phasma--” The hologram blipped and beeped as a new message appeared on the screen. With a sharp exhale, Hux frowned. “Somehow, Ren always seems to interrupt us at the most inopportune time.” He commented as he turned and looked at the message.

            Phasma did the same, looking at the message from one of the scouts. “They found him?”

            “Looks like Ren is on Naboo; they’ve reported seeing Ashlyn with him.” Hux confirmed. “Send out a dispatch team. I think it’s time we reunite with our old friends, don’t you?” Phasma only smirked in reply.

* * *

  


            Ash groaned loudly as her head rested on one of the old book she was examining. “We’ve been here for hours!”

            Ren rolled his eyes as he muttered. “Patience, Starshine.”

The duo was losing steam, having flipped through dozens and dozens of books and coming up empty handed. The entire mission seemed like a failure. Of course it was, Luke sent them on this mission and to Kylo Ren, Luke was the biggest failure of them all.

            Kylo Ren stood, taking the book he had skimmed through and wandered back over to the shelf. He traded his current book for a different one, a book that hopefully had something to offer.

            “It’s a green book.” Ash lifted her head at the new voice in the room, noticing Anakin standing next to Kylo Ren as he stared at the shelf. Kylo Ren completely oblivious to the ghost standing next to him as he flipped through another book. “I remember a green book.” He hummed before pointing. “There.”

            “Oh, **_now_** you’re being useful.” Ash grumbled, receiving a weird look from Kylo Ren as he peered over the book in his hands. Crap, she realized she said that out loud. Perhaps it was time to clue in the other Force User to her latest trick. “Okay, don’t freak out.” His brow quirked upward as Anakin turned to look at her now, realizing what was about to happen and not exactly approving of it. “But I’ve been seeing ghosts for a few months. Okay, just one ghost.”

            Ren looked somewhat stunned. “You’ve been seeing Force Ghosts?”

“He said it had to do with me straying too far from my path and needing to be set straight. He’s been really helpful with my training while we were separated.” Ash said, now looking at Anakin.

            “Might not be a good idea--” Anakin began.

“Little green guy, funny ears?” Kylo asked. Ash gave him a strange look as Kylo sighed. “Is his name also Ben?”

            Ash shook her head. “How many Force Ghosts are there?”

“More than there should be.” Kylo replied dryly. “Who is it?”

            “All I really know about him is that his name is Anakin.” Kylo Ren dropped the book from his hands, it landed with an overly exaggerated thud on the ground as his jaw fell slack. Ash suddenly realized she said something wrong. Granted, she didn’t know **_what_** was so wrong about it except that maybe Anakin was probably to blame for all of it. “Is that bad?” She looked at Anakin now. “Are you bad?”

            “I said it wasn’t a good idea--” Anakin tried again.

Kylo Ren’s shock was quickly replaced with raw and unmistakable anger. “I have asked for his guidance for--” He stumbled over his words, Ash had never seen him so clumsy before. “He was supposed to be the one to--” His hand ran through his dark locks as he visibly grew more aggravated. “That’s not fair! You don’t even deserve to--” He stopped himself from saying anything too mean as the hurt expression spread across Ash’s face. He stomped out of the room, yelling loud obscenities as he went.

               Ash looked at Anakin, who simply grimaced. “I guess I should explain.”

“You think?” Ashlyn said in frustration.

            “Do you know the story of Darth Vader?” Anakin began.

Ash sighed; the frustration getting worse and worse. “He was in that book I borrowed from Leia. The one who killed all the Jedi. I don’t have patience for a detailed history lesson, Anakin. What’s the abridged version?”

            Anakin frowned. “Well, as you know. Kylo Ren comes from a very strong line of Force Users; his mother, his uncle, and of course his grandfather.” Anakin explained. “His grandfather is--”

              It clicked as Ash groaned. “Stars, his grandfather is Darth Vader, isn’t he?”

“Yes, someone Kylo Ren has idolized, wanting to become like him, strong like him.” Anakin confirmed, only to have more to add. “Before Darth Vader came to be, he was a Jedi. Long story short--” Anakin said. “Darth Vader was known as Anakin Skywalker.”

             Like two points coming together, suddenly things made sense. Utterly horrifying sense. “I’ve had it with this stupid Skywalker lineage!” She yelled, Anakin take back by her sudden outburst. “You and your family have been the biggest headache to deal with, even when I had no idea I was dealing with them to begin with. The secrets, the lying, the drama; the more I learn the sicker I get hearing about you all.” Ash ranted. “First I met Kylo Ren, he’ was a total jerk dead set on causing chaos. Then I met Luke who saved the galaxy once and now is an even bigger jerk that screwed over Kylo Ren by trying to kill him. And then there’s you--”

             “Hey, I helped you--”

“And I appreciate that, I really do.” Ash interrupted him. “But if he looked up to you, if he needed your help, why didn’t you help him? Couldn’t you have stopped all this; stopped him from turning fully to the Dark Side?”

             “There was nothing to stop, Ash.” Anakin explained, as though the truth was the worst part about all of this. A big reveal that Ash hadn’t planned on. A reveal that made everything all the more awful, a reveal that reminded her just how cruel the Force could be. A reminder why she hated all of this to begin with; a reminder at how powerless they all were in trying to fight against it all. That kind of reveal. “My grandson was going to turn to the Dark Side. Do you have any idea how much it pained me to let it happen? To just simply accept what the Force was doing to him. He was going down the same path I had. He needed to be part of the darkness; to help you and Rey. Me? I was simply here for chaos; to set the timeline in place so others like you could rise against it all. I hurt the only woman I loved, killed the man who was like a brother to me. I never wanted that for Ben; for my family. I didn’t have a choice and if I came to him I wouldn’t have been able to stop myself from trying to prevent him from becoming who he was supposed to be.”

               Ash felt her heart begin to race against her chest; everything Anakin was saying… was it true? “But--” She stammered. “All that talk of bringing him back to the Light; keeping the Light within him. If he can’t come back, if he’s not supposed to.... Why?”

            “You wouldn’t have stayed around if I had told you that there was no hope for him.” Anakin admitted. “Would you honestly have stayed with him for as long as you have knowing that all your efforts were wasted? That he was going to live within the Darkness. A Darkness you couldn’t follow. You needed to be blinded, unlike my wife...” He paused, having remembered Padme, remembering something inside him. “If she knew what my destiny was, she wouldn’t have stayed either.”

              Ash felt her heart tear in two. All this time, she was fighting to bring Kylo Ren to the Light, to restore what good was left in him. Now, she was being told that was impossible. Everything she had come to believe was a lie; Kylo Ren would never and could never be anything but Darkness. “That can’t be true…” She all but whispered. “I’m his light, I--”

            "You are. That never changed. You are the Grey that keeps him balanced. But, he needed to stay in the Darkness; he needed you and Rey. The Grey and Light to balance him. The three of you need each other. If you had no hope in him, then you wouldn’t have tried as hard as you have. I never expected you to love him and to keep loving him after all of this. Had you known what he was capable of; what is in his true nature…”

            Ash shook her head. “You’re wrong about him. He may be Darkness… but there’s good in him. There will always be good in him. Just because he’s on the Dark Side of things, doesn’t mean he can’t be good.”

            Anakin’s lips turned upward to a small, yet sad smile. “Someone believed the same thing about me once. Except I wasn’t strong enough to prove them right. Maybe he is.”

            Saying nothing more, Ash turned on her heels and followed out after Kylo Ren. Her heart not allowing her to doubt any good that Kylo Ren was capable of. She firmly believed he was good even with the darkest of hearts. She wouldn’t let anything change that, not the Force, not Anakin. Nothing. In her own blind selfishness, she was going to prove it even if doing so killed her.

 

* * *

 

            Kylo Ren leaned up against a pillar outside the library. His arms crossed his chest as he stared out at the large gardens. A group of people had gathered under a small arch, celebrating the ‘love’ aspect of the Festival of the Goddess. He watched as couples met under the arch, confessing their love and total commitment for one another as an offering to the Goddess herself.

             Ash found him outside, trudging over to him and awkwardly shuffling on her feet as she stood next to him. “Your family is kind-of stupid.”

             “Tell me about it.” He snorted. “Out of everyone to come to you, why did it have to be him?” He said. “I’ve needed him for so long; for guidance for understanding. Nothing. I never received any of that from him. And he simply just comes to you--”

            Ash licked her lips. “Maybe you didn’t need him. Maybe you had everything you needed all along. You knew where you were going and the path you were headed down. Me? Apparently I was that screwed up and in need of guidance, even I didn’t know it.” That made him smirk slightly. “There’s a lot I don’t understand; the Force, your lineage, this prophecy. How it all comes together is still a mystery to me and that’s okay. I don’t think I want to know anymore, it’s been nothing but one giant headache. What I care about--” She paused, her cheeks burning red now. “I just care what happens to us. As selfish as that sounds. No matter what happens, no matter where we end up. I’m just happy to be here in this moment with you.”

            He moved off the pillar then, his arm reaching behind Ash as he pulled her to his chest. She wrapped her arms around his waist as he continued to hold her there. “I’m okay with forever if it means I get to spend it with the most infuriating person who has messed with my plans since the moment she invaded my dreams. Unknowingly, I might add.”

            Ash laughed lightly. “That’s one way to say you love me, I guess.”

He made a face. “But I do. After all that’s happened, you still doubt that?”

            Ash pulled back just enough to look up at him. “I don’t doubt it. I don’t because I can feel it.” She explained. “The Force Bond has always made everything we felt transparent, even when we tried so hard to keep it hidden. It only made it harder for us.”

            “I’m done hiding it.” He said, looking back at the courtyard now. “I’m done letting the Force speak for us.”

            She looked out to where he was staring. “What’s going on?” She asked, making a face.

             Ren pulled away from her, taking his hand into hers and began leading her to the line of people in the courtyard. “It’s the last part of the celebrations.” He explained. “The ceremony of love. The Goddess was quite the fan of love and prosperity. The people of Naboo honor her by marrying under the arch way to their soulmate.”

            Ash stared in disbelief as she realized where they were going and what he was planning to do. “Yeah? We’re doing this now?”

            “What better time than now?” He asked. “When are we ever going to find the time to do this?”

            The concern that was on her face vanished and was replaced with a happier and content expression as she laughed. “We probably won’t live through this whole prophecy thing anyway.”

            He grinned. “You’re just giving us more reason to go through with it, Starshine.” The two were now standing on line, with only three other couples in front of them.

            Ash looked down at herself, noticing just how messy she looked in her typical everyday clothes. At least, Kylo Ren always looked handsome and well put together. Ash? She was always a chaotic mess it seemed. “I wish I had a dress for the occasion.” She joked.

            “I think you’re beautiful just the way you are now.” If he could have said anything else to reassure her that this was the right thing to do, it was that.

              Who knew when the opportunity would arise again, if they even made it through this? The lingering notion of not making it once they confronted Snoke was stuck in the back of their minds. Their entire relationship had been based on impulse and going with their gut, why should this be any different?

               And so, their secret union began. When their turn came, the two Force Users stood under the arch in front of strangers and nobodies. They signed a piece of paper that would go into the Naboo public record; no one immediately recognizing the names ‘Ben Solo’ or ‘Ashlyn Novafall’. At least, no one would be able to connect the dots before they were long gone.

 

                Nothing else mattered. Like Ash said, nothing mattered but them in that moment. And it was in that blind ignorance, the two missed the scout staring on from the distance, reporting his findings to a certain First Order.

 


	49. Mrs. Ashlyn Novafall-Solo-Ren

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ash just wants to be happily married... which is EXTREMELY difficult considering that Kylo Ren is full of secrets he promised he wouldn't hide from her... oh and they're being shot at.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happily married can only last so long when you're on the run, right?

* * *

 

             The two returned to the library, their hands connected as their fingers laced together. Neither one saying anything as they embraced the moment; unable to wipe the small smiles from their faces as they entered the back room. The mess they had made still ever present; unfortunately, they still had a job to do and would celebrate their secret union at a later time. Most likely the moment they returned to the ship.

            Ash’s attention turned to the bookshelf, reluctantly she let go of Kylo Ren’s hand and wandered over to it. The green book Anakin had pointed out was sticking out like a sore thumb now. “This is the book Anakin mentioned.” She explained in passing, not really wanting to bring up the whole Anakin-Is-Actually-Your-Grandfather, thing again, as she grabbed the book. She handed it to Kylo Ren, who brought it with him to the table, sitting down and began to flip through it in an attempt to find an answer.

            Ash took the seat across from him, staring at him as the natural light from the setting sun outside illuminated the room as much as possible. She couldn’t stop staring at him as he read, the way his hair fell in front of his face as he leaned over the green, worn book. The way his lips pursed ever so slightly as he concentrated. How perfect he looked right then and there; his scarred face and dark eyes; his head gently rested on his hand as he flipped through pages with the other.

            Stars, they were married now. It didn’t feel real. None of what had just happened felt real. They did it, that wasn’t the question. But, now they had one more thing to hide. One more secret to keep; no proof of what they had done. Just a silent proof whenever they looked at each other. A silent moment whenever they exchanged glances, knowing what they had done. That was her husband sitting across from her; her husband doing the most mundane of tasks and yet she had never loved him more than she did now. Right here in this moment.

            His lips curled upward slightly; feeling her internal monologue with herself. “You’re staring, Starshine.” He murmured as he flipped another page. “What are you thinking about?”

            She couldn’t help but smile as she brushed her red locks behind her ear. “Everything.”

“I know.” He replied teasingly, flipping more pages.

            “We got married.” Ash said absentmindedly, and yet overwhelmingly in disbelief.

Kylo Ren snorted. “We did.” He looked up at her from the book then. “Regret catching up with you now?”

            Ash laughed. “No, not in the slightest. It’s just--” She thought for a moment. “Everyone is going to freak out.”

            “We won’t tell them.”

She gave him a pointed look at that. “We have two Force Users and a Sensitive waiting for us back on Crait. You **_really_** think they won’t know?”

            He grinned wickedly. “I’ll take the blame like I always do.”

“We’re married now, your trouble is just as much mine now.” Ash reminded him playfully.

            His wicked grin faded to a more sincere one at that notion. Yes, they were married now. Something they’d have to get used to and yet, had no time to do so. There would be no honeymoon stage, there would be no celebration. He wished he could give her more, he really did. But, they both understood what they were getting into.

            Ash’s gaze averted down to the book then, to the new page Kylo Ren had flipped to. Staring back at her was a familiar orb; at least, it **_felt_** familiar. She had only ever really seen it once and at a quick glance in the book from Ahch-To. There, under the image glaring up at her, were the words ‘Eye of the Sun’. She was suddenly grinning. “Found our stone.”

            Kylo Ren looked back down at the book, skimming through the words on the page as a few notes stuck out. “Cularin. The Eye of the Sun is on Cularin.”

            Ash sat back in her seat excitedly. “Great, that’s one stone down. What about the other two?” Kylo Ren closed the book without much warning. She sensed his entire being immediately tense as his face contorted to a frown before abruptly removing himself from his seat. He stalked over to the window, looking outside for something that Ash couldn’t see. “What is it?” She asked.

            “We’ve got company.” He noted, seeing Troopers begin to file into the surrounding courtyards of the Naboo library. He looked back at his new bride, his face like stone as he spoke. “Time to go.” Ash looked down at the book as Kylo Ren made his way to the door. “Leave it.” He instructed. “We have what we need.”

            She obliged, leaving the book on the table as she quickly followed him out of the back room and into the main area of the library. “What’s the game plan?” She asked, trying to keep up with the man next to her.

            “We have to get back to the ship. If the First Order follows us--” He looked at Ash, somewhat apologetically but not really. “We won’t be able to meet up with the scavenger.”

            Ash frowned. “I promised we would meet them on Crait.”

“Ash--” With that, the main double doors to the library burst open as a barrage of Troopers came forward. Their blasters firing at the two Force Users. Kylo Ren grabbed Ash and ran for the nearest cover behind a large bookshelf.

            Debris from books and shelves began to fly all around them. She grabbed her lightsaber, the amber blade igniting. “Just once, I’d like to be able to have a moment of peace with you without getting interrupted or shot at.”

            Ren grinned knowingly as his own saber shot out of the hilt; crackling and hissing. “I know, Starshine.” He looked to the other side of the aisle, seeing the window, their only means for escape. “Follow me.” Ash looked, seeing the window as well, except she wasn’t as excited as he was.

             She knew what he expected of her, yet there was no time for argument. The two had to make a break for that window. Kylo waited a moment’s pause before nodding. He turned around the corner of the bookshelf the two had hid behind, deflecting blaster shots as Ash ran out beside him. Her hand went up immediately, sending a Force Push towards the Troopers. A few flew backwards, giving them the distraction they needed as the two ran for cover behind the other side of shelves and to the window.

            Kylo, being somewhat of a gentleman (though Ash would argue that), went out the window first, helping Ash climb out after him. He looked around the courtyard in an attempt to find the clearest path for the two to run. He booked it for the left most side, rushing for an arch way. Granted, this would take them a little further from the ship, it was the clearest route. Ash followed suit, the Storm Troopers began to notice.

            Running deeper and deeper into the alley ways of Naboo, turning corner after corner, the two kept moving. Every so often, they’d have to dodge another Stormtrooper, Kylo Ren wasted no time in taking down anyone in his path with a swift wave of his saber. Much to Ash’s dismay, now wasn’t the time to reprimand the man over the matter of kills he was currently racking up.

            They were running out of places to go, indubitably lost as they turned another corner only to run straight into a handful of Troopers. The two stopping short as the Troopers raised their blasters, ready to fire. Ready to fight, the two Force Users raised their lightsabers. However, something else happened then.

            A barrage of blaster fire came from another alley, taking down the unsuspecting Troopers as a group of ten or so men walked out from the shadows. The Force Users stood hesitantly, as the apparent leader looked at them. “Sir, we’re from the Ascension. You need to come with us; both of you.”

            Without any argument, Kylo Ren walked forward. Ash looked at him in disbelief. “Can we trust them?”

            She hated that grin of his; that stupid, coy and confident grin that he so often displayed on his face. That grin that he had the upperhand in the situation, that he knew something she didn’t. Stars, she hated that. “Come on, Starshine.” He nodded to the group.

            Of course, he had backup. Of course he did. He had a plan; a plan he didn’t include her in. He had knowledge of something, a secret he chose to keep hidden. Even after he had promised her not too long ago to loop her in; they literally got married an hour ago and **_still_** he was pulling this kind of act. Ash was once again left in the dark as she begrudgingly joined him and this ‘ _Ascension’_ group.

            “Is everything in place?” Kylo Ren asked the leader.

“They’re waiting for you at the desired location. We need to take our ships, yours has been compromised. We’ve been watching you both for some time now.” The leader said.

            Ash wasn’t having any of this. “Okay, what the hell is going on? Some random group of soldiers falls out of the sky and we are just going to go with them?!”

            Kylo looked at her. “Trust--”

“Yeah, yeah.” Ash spat as she interrupted him. “Blindly trust you. Like I always do.” Ren and the leader exchanged glances as Ash waved them off. “Come on, take us to wherever the hell it is we’re going. Don’t mind me.” She stomped after them, still talking to herself as the group lead them out of the city and towards awaiting ships.

 

* * *

 

            Rey sat by herself outside the Resistance base on Crait; a commlink in her hand as she waited for any sort of contact from Ash. Days had gone by and she hadn’t heard a peep from the two Force Users across the stars. Rey was beginning to doubt a lot of things lately; the legitimacy of Kylo Ren, where Ash stood in all this… whoever the hell the Ascension were. She knew she had to keep her faith in Ash; right now, that was easier said than done.

            “Hey.” An unexpected voice said, pulling her out of her thought as she looked up to see the friendly smile of Poe Dameron as he came closer. “Hear anything yet?” He asked, nodding to the commlink.

            Rey looked down at the device in her hand, frowning at it. “Not yet.”

Poe nodded, looking back up at the barren and empty planet before him that was covered in salt. The red, velvet mines peeking through random patches. “Mind if I sit?” Rey, at first unsure, hesitated. Then simply nodded as Poe sat down next to the girl. “When Ash first disappeared, everyone thought she went back to the First Order. The timing was almost perfect; she leaves we get attacked. I defended her through that, she was my friend after all. Then, hearing about her and Kylo Ren--”

            Rey sighed. “She’s not part of the First Order.”

“I know that.” Poe agreed. “Some part of me deep down knows she’s not. She’s Ash, she’s stuck in the middle of all of this. But--” Poe let out an airy and nervous chuckle. “Can’t say I’m not a little miffed with her over this.”

            Rey smiled in agreeance over that fact. No one really expected that news, well, everyone except Leia. She seemed unphased by it when the room was in an uproar. Either she was being too diplomatic, or she knew. Granted, it was her son involved after all. “Did you and Ash--” Rey tried to phrase it. “Were you two…?”

            Poe smirked. “No, she was a friend. A good friend. Someone I was uncertain about in the beginning, but she’s grown on me.” He explained. “What bothers me is knowing my friend is seeing--” He stumbled. “Or whatever it is she’s doing, with the man that tortured and nearly killed me. The things he’s done, the things he’ll continue to do.”

            Rey understood, she had the same reservations about Kylo Ren as everyone else. However, Rey had an advantage over everyone else. She was one of the few who saw the way Kylo Ren and Ashlyn Novafall interacted. The way he looked at her; he was almost powerless against her. A dangerous thing for Rey to know. Unlike Kylo Ren, this wasn’t something Rey would hold over them. Kylo Ren would run with the chance of having any information he could hold over someone. Rey was not like Kylo Ren, and ultimately, neither was Ash. “We’re going to have to work with him.” She explained. “Mostly myself and Ash. We have a prophecy to fulfill; it’s the only way to take down Snoke. After that--” She thought for a moment. What came after that? “I’m not sure what happens after that.”

            “Well, apparently the Republic was just as corrupt as the First Order.” Poe informed her. “Leia had uncovered that they were buying the same weapons from the same people the First Order were. It’s been one corrupt circle, as we’ve come to find out. So--” He shrugged. “Who knows what happens. There’s no government in place. Who takes over after all this?”

            “Should anyone?”

Poe shrugged. “Now that’s a question for the ages.” He then stood, brushing off his flight suit to rid himself of the salt that had managed to taint it. “Alright, she’s on Naboo?”

            Rey made a face. “What are you doing?”

“If we don’t hear from her soon, I’m going to scout it out.” Poe gave her a dazzling smile. “Find out if they made it or not.”

            Poe meant well, and Rey knew that. She smiled back at him as he nodded to her before returning to the base. She looked back down at the commlink in her hand. “Ash…please be okay...” She pleaded quietly to the silent device.

* * *

  
  


            Ash missed the Star Yacht. She missed Rey. She missed the Resistance. She missed… okay she was really annoyed and it made her miss everything that didn’t have to do with Kylo Ren even more so. Especially after recent events. She was really getting tired of this; all of this. Once again, she found herself wrapped around his little finger as she blatantly accepted the ignorance and his sweet words. By the stars, she married him. She let the ignorance get so bad that she married him. She defended him to Anakin, defended that there was good in him. And here she was. Standing in the cramped engine room of the ship she was on; with no way of knowing where she was going or where she was headed. But once again, she was in this situation thanks to her new husband, Kylo Ren.

            “Starshine, if you don’t unlock the door, I will force my way in there.” He said from the other side of the door, his tone filled with utter annoyance as Ash stood inside the safety of the engine room, her arms folded across her chest.

            “Go to hell, Ren.” She called back to him.

He let out an exasperated sigh. “Alright, your call.”

            Ash panicked as she tried to figure out the best way to keep him out. Then again, no mechanical device was good enough to keep out someone with the Force. Especially him. “If you come in here I’m going to slice your face off with my saber.”

            The door flew open, revealing a pissed off Kylo Ren. “Then slice my face off.” He dared her as he stepped into the small quarters, forcing the door behind him to shut.

            Ash glared. “You promised me--”

“I didn’t think this was going to come up just ye--”

            “No. You **_promised_** me.” Ash painfully reminded him. “You said there would be no more secrets. You promised me on Maridun; you’d tell me everything. No more leaving me in the dark.”

            Kylo Ren huffed. “Fine, what do you want to know?”

“All of it!” She yelled. “Everything you casually keep forgetting to tell me! How much of this has been part of the plan and for how long?”

            His eyes narrowed. “Since the beginning.”

Ash scoffed, her arms flying up in the air in frustration. “So, you’ve had a secret--” She stumbled over words, unsure what to call it. “Army ready to go?”

            “If you let me explain--”

She interrupted him again, something Kylo Ren was getting **_really_** annoyed with. “I’m tired of this.” She said. “I’m tired of having things explained to me after they happen. I can’t defend you to the Resistance when you pull crap like this.”

            “I don’t need nor want you to defend me to them.”

“But I have to.” Ash explained. “Don’t you get it? It’s the only way any of this is going to work. You think you can just keep getting away with all of this; having the upper hand and having all these secrets. But you are going to need help. You can’t take Snoke out on your own, you know that. I can’t help you if you don’t include me. Rey certainly won’t help us if we keep pulling all this shady crap.” She quieted slightly. “I’m your wife now. Whether or not that spontaneity actually means anything to you or not. We just get married and as your wife I deserve to know what the hell my husband is doing.”

            Ren let out a frustrated sigh as he rubbed his temples. “I’m trying.” He snapped. “I’m trying my best, but it’s not something I’m used to. I’ve had to keep a lot of moving parts in a continuous loop without any of those pieces knowing too much. I’m used to doing it that way, and I’m trying not to do that with you. It’s not like I’ve been continuously lying to you.”

            Ash made a face. “Oh, haven’t you?” He frowned. “Like your name being Ben, your Mother being the General of the Resistance--” Kylo Ren rolled his eyes. “You having a secret army in the works, that there’s this crazy prophecy going on and I’m directly involved. Nope, you haven’t lied once.”

            “I wasn’t lying, I just avoided telling you.” Kylo Ren would one day learn how to argue properly with his new wife. Today, was not that day.

            “You are single handedly the--”

“Yes, I know. The most impossible person in the galaxy. You’ve told me numerous times now.” He said flatly, only making the red haired girl angrier. “Don’t forget that everything I have done, everything I continue to do, is for **_your_** benefit.”

            Ash scoffed. “ ** _MY_** benefit?! Please, tell me how all of this is going to benefit me because right now, it’s been nothing but a headache. We’re hours into being married and this is how we’ve spent it.”

            “You agreed to marry me, Starshine.” He reminded her dutifully. Truly, he was really bad at this whole being-a-good-husband thing.

            Ash inhaled sharply, her shoulders rising and falling with her breath as she tried to calm down. Suddenly, what Anakin said came back into play. Would she have stayed knowing this was how he was. The Darkness, the lying the deceit. He had a backwards way of thinking when it came to wanting to do the best for Ash. But, that never question remained. Knowing what she did now, would she have done it all over again? Yes. A thousand times yes. In a heartbeat she would. “I did. I agreed to marry you and you agreed to marry me. For better or worse, we’re married. And I don’t want to spend the rest of our married lives, no matter how short or long that is, at each other’s throats. But, you can’t keep doing this. You need to keep me in the loop, you need to try harder at including me.”

            Kylo Ren growled, he was aggravated, he was frustrated; hell, he was feeling just a little bit of everything then as he closed the (not that big) gap between them. His hands planted firmly on either side of her head as he leaned down and kissed her. The kiss was dizzying; Ashlyn couldn’t deny him as she felt her knees begin to shake. Stars, they loved each other so deeply and so passionately. It showed, even when they argued. But, Ash was right. He couldn’t keep doing this to her. He needed Ash, probably more than she really needed him. In that, he had to keep her happy. He knew he did. When he pulled away, his lips still hovered so closely to hers. His breath tickling her lips as he apologized. “I’ll keep trying for you.”

            Ash couldn’t help control the corners of her lips as they tugged upward into a small smile. “You drive me absolutely crazy.” She admitted.

            He smirked as he reminded her. “I know, but again you chose this life.”

“I did.” She said. “And I’m going to fight to make this work; will you?”

            Ren leaned closer again, placing a lingering kiss on her forehead before mumbling. “I’ll never stop fighting for you.”

            That was the most satisfaction she’d get in that moment. Even though things were oh-so-very-fucked-up. That was just normalcy in their relationship. She was almost certain if things went smoothly, something would be off. “I never got to ask you; although I didn’t really have time to. We were getting shot at not much after we got married.” She explained. “What does this make me? Ren or Solo?”

            He chuckled at her left-field question as he pulled back just enough to look at her again. “Ren.”

“But that’s not your real name.” She frowned.

              “I changed it.”

“Not legally.” Ash teased. “Fine, I’ll just keep all the names. Mrs. Ashlyn Novafall-Ren-Solo.”

            Kylo Ren snorted. “It would be Mrs. Ashlyn Novafall-Solo-Ren. Ren came after.”

She sighed thoughtfully. “That’s going to get annoying to say after a while.”

            He knew that while Ash didn’t fully forgive him right then and there, she was going to be okay. Especially if she was making jokes. She was right, he needed to include her more and although he was trying, he had a funny way of showing it. Ash just wasn’t exactly used to the way he went about things. To him, he was trying. To her, it was absolute chaos. He kissed her again, letting his lips linger on hers for a few more moments before reluctantly pulling away. “Solo.” He finally said. “You’re technically Ashlyn Solo.”

            She smiled just a little more then. “Does this mean I get to call you Ben?”

He gave her a pointed look. “Don’t push it.”

            “Yes, husband.” Ashlyn replied teasingly. While absolutely frustrated with the man in front of her, she could eventually get used to married life. Especially if their best moments always outweighed the bad. And they would… for now.            

 

* * *

 

            After being coaxed out of the small engine room, Ash finally ventured to the bridge of the ship where the leader from their escape had been. He smiled at her warmly, holding his hand out. “We weren’t properly introduced. I’m Lieutenant Brass of the recon team for the Ascension.”

            Ash’s smile was sincere but small, she still had her reservations about the whole thing, considering she still knew almost nothing about them until an hour ago. “Ash.” She said quickly as she shook the man’s hand.

            “We’ve been looking for you and the Commander for a few days now.” He explained, looking over at the man in black as he stared at a datapad. Indubitably, the pad held valuable information that Ash was almost certain she’d be left out of.

            “Where are we headed?” Ash asked, unable to tell where the heck in hyperspace they were going.

            Brass’s smile was reassuring, to say the least. “We’ve stationed ourselves deep outside the Outer Rim territories, it’s easy to mask our location from out there. The central hub, along with other reinforcements have gathered there.”

            Ash didn’t look all too please with that answer. “And what, you guys are on which side?”

He gave her knowing look. “Is it always about sides? We’re here to help in the removal of current powers and set a new order in place.”

            She frowned skeptically. “That wouldn’t be just replacing the First Order with the same rules and establishment, but with a new name, now would it?”

            Brass chuckled. “No, ma’am. But if you’d feel better with a title for our allegiance, we’re against the bad guys, so I suppose that makes us the good guys.”

            “It’s not so black and white like that, Lieutenant.” Ash retorted. “Everyone has their own agenda and a mixed allegiance.”

Brass, at first, was taken back. Then, immediately gave a hearty laugh as he looked over to where Kylo Ren was. “You were right, sir. This one is very spirited.”

            Ren smirked as he looked up from the datapad. “Told you.” He mumbled as he wandered over to Ash and Brass. “How long before we reach the fleet?”

            “Not much longer, sir.” Brass confirmed, as he smiled once more at Ash. “If you’ll both excuse me, I have to prepare for our arrival.”

            As Brass removed himself from the conversation, Kylo Ren tucked the datapad under his arm as he watched the unimpressed expression appear on Ash’s face. “What is it, Starshine?”

            “You still haven’t told me anything.”

“I’m sure Lieutenant Brass filled you in on a few things.”

            Ash frowned. “Not really.”

He leaned over, kissing the top of her head quickly. “Once we arrive, everything will be explained. I promise.”

            “There you go promising me things again.” She said lightly.

His hand found her chin, gently forcing her to look up at him. “I said I was going to try harder, I’m going to.”

            She smiled. “Okay.” There she went again, simply accepting that he was going to make due on his promise. Then again, what other choice had she? She was going to be by his side, for better or worse. She promised that. “I still have to contact Rey.”

            He rolled his eyes. “After we debrief with the Ascension.”

“Promise?”

            His smirk was wicked. “I thought you didn’t want me to promise you things anymore.” Ash was ready to playfully argue with him, but the ship had exited hyperdrive and now she was distracted by the barrage of ships that awaited them outside the window of the bridge.

            She stared at it in disbelief at first, nodding slowly. “Right.” She said, taking it all in. “Your army.” The ship looked so small in comparison as Ash stared at the destroyer along with the rest of the fleet that awaited their arrival.

 


	50. The Ascension

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ash learns who the Ascension really is...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ahhhhh so make sure you read the end notes! Super important!

* * *

 

            On the outside, Ash looked unphased and as calm as possible. Internally, she was losing her mind at the sheer size of it all. This, of course, providing much entertainment to the man in black as they descended the ramp of the transport ship and were now in the launch bay of the new destroyer. Hundreds upon hundreds of officers working around them. Some, were awaiting for their arrival and saluted Kylo Ren. It was curious thing that anyone would willingly follow Kylo Ren. Sure, he was really good at what he did, but at the same time… he killed a lot of people to get where he was today.

            Another curious thought was the energy radiating from Kylo Ren. He wasn’t angry, or happy, or anything she had ever felt before. Wait… no, he was excited. He was actually legitimately excited about something. Perhaps it had to do with the army he had at his fingertips? No, it wasn’t that. It clearly wasn’t that when Ash saw the grinning and cocky smile of the familiar ginger accompanied by the strong blonde captain next to him.

            Hux and Phasma were alive. They were alive and they did everything Kylo Ren had instructed with precise execution. That was why he was secretly excited. “It’s about time you two joined us.” Hux mused. Ash looked at Phasma who was trying to hide a smile of her own; then back to Hux. Still in disbelief that the two of them were here; leading the Ascension. “We have much to discuss.” The group left the launch bay and eagerly made their way to the main debriefing room.

           

* * *

 

 

            Once the door closed behind them and the group knew they were alone, Ash wasted no time in tightly hugging the taller woman. Which, ultimately was a huge surprise to Phasma as she hesitated before hugging back; chuckling when she did. “I’ve missed you too, Ash.”

            Ash pulled away, knowing Phasma was not the hugging type, but she still felt the need to hug her. She was happy to see Phasma alive and well. However, that still brought everything back to the blaring fact that Kylo Ren lied about something else and that Phasma and Hux probably knew more than she did. “So, who’s going to tell me what’s going on?” Ash asked somewhat sarcastically.

“I’m sure you have a lot of questions. We have so much to talk about and so little time to do so.” Hux explained as he nodded to the chairs around the debriefing table. “Please.”

            Kylo placed his hand on Ash’s lower back; a small gesture of assurance that everything was going to be okay as they walked to the table. Ash eagerly sat, waiting to hear it all.

            “It’s good to see you again, Ms. Novafall.” Hux began.

“No need for formalities, Hux.” Ash replied dryly. “I have a ton of questions and as I’ve learned with Kylo Ren, I have to ask the right questions in order to get the answers I need. I assume that’s still the case here. First, was StarKiller even a First Order machine?”

            He smirked knowingly as he looked at Kylo Ren before returning his gaze to Ashlyn. “While the downfall of StarKiller was not exactly what I wanted; the weapon ultimately was to be used to remove the political influence that is sustaining this war. You’ve seen both sides now, are you still blind to it?” He asked. “The Supreme Leader and the Republic are equally the enemy here. Granted, we dealt with the Republic already. The Resistance was blinded by the Republic. I am not, however, blinded by the Supreme Leader.”

            Ash nodded, understanding. The galaxy was in such a state of chaos; from what she understood, it truly was the powers at be that had done this. “Does the Resistance know about all of this? About the Ascension?”

            Hux hesitated for a moment, a bold and yet oh-so-very-wrong move. “To an extent.”

Ash didn’t care for such an aloof answer. “What extent?”

            “We assisted in their escape from D’Qar. They are unaware, at this time, who is behind the Ascension.” Phasma chimed in then; she also hated playing games.

            “Why not reach out to them then? Join forces and take down the First Order?”

“We’ve now reached the point where we need the Resistance as much as they need us.” Hux bargained. “They’ve tried reaching out to us after our assistance. However, we know if we were to communicate with them, the negotiations would fail due to our… **_reputation._** We need a bridge to bring us together.”

            She knew where this was going before he had a chance to say it. “I’m not going to be a tool used in this war and I will certainly not put my friends in danger.”

 Hux made a face that held mostly amusement as he asked. “Are we not your friends as well? You were so eager to see us, now knowing we can help, why not assist us?”

            “Because, like everyone else, I thought you were the bad guys; the ones trying to take down the Resistance and destroy planets with a giant super weapon.”

            “You built that weapon, do not forget.” Hux gladly reminded her.

Ash glared. “Friends also don’t hide their overall intentions for a complete overhaul of governments.”

            “We wanted to tell you.” Phasma said, realizing that the power struggle before her was not going anywhere. Both participants were hot headed and Kylo Ren was not helping the situation by sitting back and letting it happen. “We made plans to bring this to light. However, the maintenance worker that outed you and Ren made that impossible. Kylo Ren had to make the choice to terminate you, as per the Supreme Leader’s wishes, or spare you and send you away.”

            Something in Ash’s expression showed the group that she was still unaware of one rather large piece in all this. Taka. “Maintenance worker?” Ash asked, looking at Kylo only to see his face contort into distaste and hatred. She looked back at Hux and Phasma. “Taka was the one who told Snoke?”

Kylo Ren hadn’t told her as much, whatever his reasons being for not rubbing that fact into her face. Granted, they were trying to rebuild what they had lost, surely he didn’t want to sour it with the extra bit of information. He gave Ash only what she needed to know and that was the basics; someone outed them, Snoke found out, the rest was history.

            “Everything happened so fast.” Phasma explained, pulling everyone back to the conversation at hand. “We had to move and begin the next phase to our uprising.”

            Hux added, his tone less than amused. “Then your friends blew up StarKiller.”

“A necessary loss.” Ash retorted. “It was a too powerful weapon.”

            “Yet a helpful one.” Hux kept on it. “But now the time has come, Ashlyn. You’ve been in contact with the Resistance and with us. We need to come together.”

Ash pursed her lips, her eyes falling to her hands that rested on the table. “What happens when I do?” She asked. “What is the end goal? Once this is over, will you take them out?”

            “I’d rather it not come to that.” Hux explained. “We are only strong if we fight together. We can’t simply reach out to send a message to General Organa.” Kylo winced at the mention of his mother. “That’s why we need you.”

            “I need to know that this won’t cause another fight. I need to know that the Resistance and the Ascension can work together, takedown the real problems, and work together to fix the state of the galaxy.”

            Hux tensed. “I can’t promise anything; it depends on what they--”

“No.” Ash interrupted him. “I need some sort of assurance or no deal. I’m tired of working in uncertainty.”

            Hux looked at Phasma, then back to Kylo Ren and Ashlyn. Something had changed within the red haired girl he had come to know. The girl who wanted nothing to do with any of it was suddenly directly in the middle. Something was brought to the surface after all these months away. She became a fighter. In that sense, Hux realized she was the force needed to combat Kylo Ren; the other piece to balance the man behind the Ascension. She would do just find keeping him in line, and in that realization, Hux was proud of her. “Fine. You have my word that this won’t get violent.”

            “Then I’ll bring your case to General Organa.” Ash agreed.

Hux then smirked. “Will you bring Ren with you? I’m sure his Mother would love to see him again.”

            “I have to, he’s part of this whole prophecy.” The blank expressions on Hux and Phasma’s faces interested Ash as she realized something wonderful. For once, she had the upper hand. Phasma and Hux didn’t know something. “Wait, are you both implying that I have information that you don’t?” She gloated, smirking. “Finally, I know something.”

            Ren rolled his eyes. “The reason they did not know sooner is because of Snoke. Now, I can tell them.”

            “Oh, so they get to know without a fight?” Ash’s blatant rhetorical and shot at Kylo Ren was not missed by Hux and Phasma.

“Is now really the time to bring this up?” Ren muttered angrily.

              Hux sighed. “I hadn’t missed their lover’s quarrels, have you, Phasma?”

Ash, reluctantly, let it go as she looked back at Phasma and Hux. “So, what’s our next move?”

            “ ** _We_** have to go to Cularin. Sooner rather than later.” Ren explained.

“I need to contact the Rey.” Ash stood her ground. “We need her too; plus, that can be how we introduce the Ascension to the Resistance.”

            He hated that she had a point; it said so in his very clear and present glare. His eyes staying on her as he spoke. “Phasma, take Ash to the communication hub. Hux and I need to discuss a few things.”

            Before Ash could protest, Phasma was already standing from her seat and walking to Ash. “Let the boys have their moment. They really missed one another.” Phasma teased, causing Ash to grin. Hux and Ren rolled their eyes practically at the exact same time as the women left the room.

 

* * *

 

            “Something is different about you.” Phasma noted as she watched Ash from across the communication hub. The girl had been here less than an hour and Phasma could already sense her aggravation. That was something she learned quickly about Ash, she wore her feelings on her sleeve. It was very clear that something had happened between her and Ren. “I cannot put my finger on it, but something is off. Perhaps it’s the blatant aggression you and Ren have right now. Is everything okay in paradise?”

            Ash frowned as she stared down at the hub, trying to pinpoint the location of Crait. “No, we’ve just had a rocky twenty-four hours.”

            “Go on.”

“Since when do you care about my affairs?” Ash teased lightly.

            Phasma smirked. “You know I don’t. However, it’s very clearly affecting you.”

She huffed. “He still isn’t telling me everything, after he promised he would.”

            “You really expected him to?” Phasma asked skeptically. “We’ve talked about this before. He keeps things hidden for a reason.”

            “And that reason is across the galaxy somewhere while we work to kill him.” Ash retorted, realizing she was being just a little bit persnickety today. With a sigh, she closed her eyes. “I just really believed he would have at least tried to keep his promise, even a little. Especially now--” She stopped herself, realizing she had said too much. It was hard to keep it all in, especially considering how much she respected Phasma.

             Phasma’s brow quirked upward. “Why now specifically?”  

Ash pursed her lips, they hadn’t told anyone yet. Granted, they didn’t have anyone **_to_** tell. They got married and immediately had to evacuate Naboo. Maybe telling Phasma wasn’t the worst plan, consider how much she knew already about her relationship with Kylo Ren. “We… got married.”

            “What?!” Phasma exclaimed, her eyes widening. Ash had never seen such emotion coming from the otherwise very stoic woman.

Ash quickly tried to explain. “On Naboo, there was a celebration going on and people were doing it and we’ve talked about it before.”

            “Does anyone know about your impulsive union?” Ash’s lack of answer was an answer. “You haven’t told anyone.”

“Who would I tell?” Ash’s question was rhetorical. “We’ve been married for a few hours and all we’ve done in that time was run from the First Order and argue.”

            “Unfortunately for both of you, it’s a pretty awful time to get married. We’re in the middle of a war. You don’t get to enjoy being newlyweds.”

While she understood that, it still wasn’t fair. Although Ash never really thought about getting married, she wouldn’t deny how intoxicating the thought was of being able to at least enjoy some alone time with her new husband was. Even if she was a little annoyed with him. Okay, she was still **_really_** annoyed with him. “I know. We don’t and that’s one of the reasons we did it. We were going to do it eventually, but who knows, we could lose this and die tomorrow. What better time than now?”

            Phasma suddenly smiled; as if everything suddenly made perfect sense. “The more I think about it, the more I like it. It suits you both.” Ash let out a sarcastic laugh. “I’m serious. You are both stubborn and impulsive people; yet it works.” Phasma began to make her way for the door. “Make contact with the Resistance, I will check on the boys and we will go from there.”

            Ash returned her attention to the hub, the coordinates for Crait flashing back at her. It was now or never, hopefully this wouldn’t blow up in her face and Rey would answer.

 

           

* * *

 

           

            “These three stones can take down Snoke?” Hux asked skeptically. He typically was skeptical when Kylo Ren gave him new information. It was habit at this point. However, things were different now. He could at least get more detailed information and not just a snippet considering their distance from Snoke.

            Ren nodded. “Only together. Unfortunately, that means I have to work with that repulsive scavenger from Jakku.” The distaste on his face said it all. “If it could be done with just Ash and I, believe me, I’d choose that.”

            “I’ll be honest, Ren.” Hux began. “You are now the leader of the Ascension. It’s going to be difficult for you to be making plans from across the galaxy, should we need you.”

            He smirked. “Isn’t that why I appointed you as my second? You’re supposed to cover in my absence.”

 Hux didn’t acknowledge that point; instead, he moved to a more pressing matter. “She doesn’t know, does she?”

            “She knows as much as she should right now. You know why I keep Ash in the dark.” Kylo Ren explained. Even though he promised her he’d try and keep her in the know; there were just some things Kylo Ren needed to keep a secret. He knew Ash would react negatively without a thorough explanation. An explanation he just simply couldn’t give to her right now. “She’s too much of a wild card; being in the middle and all. If I told her, I can’t guarantee what side she’ll be on after that.”

            “I think she’ll be angrier finding out too late.” Hux said, amusement in his tone. “I’m almost proud of her for taking charge earlier. She’s learning to best you. Finally, someone to beat your at your own game.”

            Ren frowned. “I still have a trick or two up my sleeve.”

“Undoubtedly.” Hux reluctantly agreed. He was almost certain Kylo Ren had more he kept to his chest; however, Hux was willing to follow him through it all. Kylo Ren couldn’t be a worse leader than Snoke, right? “I know your people skills are--” He thought of the word. “Practically non-existent. But, please do remember you have a tornado in your arsenal, should Ash find out the wrong way.”

            The door slid open to the debriefing room as Phasma entered. “Oh good, more secrets.” She mused dryly as she sat down at the table with the two men she had come to love and hate all the same. “Anything I should know?”

            “Not much has changed, Phasma.” Hux said. “Ren here is still keeping secrets from Ash; from all of us. However, our timetable has changed with news of these stones.”

            “Oh, wonderful. More secrets. Has he told you the latest one regarding him and Ashlyn?”

Kylo Ren frowned. “I assume she told you?”

            “Told her what?” Hux asked, ready for the worst.

“I feel awful we didn’t get you a wedding present, Ren.” Phasma joked dryly.

            Hux nearly fell over in his chair. He really did not miss their meetings; there was always something to give him a headache. “You two are married?”

“Newlyweds.” Phasma informed him. “Married on Naboo merely hours before we found them.”

            Hux’s head was now resting in his hands as he audibly groaned. “While a congratulations is probably in order, is there **_anything_** else you’d like to tell us before you make me lose my hair?”

            Now Kylo Ren was smirking. “No, I think that’s it.”

“No secret children? Any terminal illnesses?” Hux rattled off.

            “Oh, I’ve missed you, Armitage.” Kylo Ren was truly enjoying making the man squirm.

Hux’s eyes narrowed. “I cannot say the feeling is mutual.”

            Ren and Phasma exchanged glances. “He did, don’t be fooled.”

“I know he did, I can feel it.”

            Hux quickly went and changed the subject. “Has Ash made contact with the Resistance?”

“She’s doing so now.” Phasma explained. “I wanted to give her some privacy, as well as congratulate our Commander.”

            “Now, now, Phasma.” Hux reminded her. “He’s no longer our Commander.”

Phasma rolled her eyes. “The next Supreme Leader or not, he will always be a Commander to me.”

            Shaking his head, Kylo Ren stood from his seat. “I should go check on the red head. Stars knows what trouble she can get in when left alone too long.” Without much more to say, he left the room to do just that.

            “He got married.” Hux repeated, somewhat in disbelief. “You know it was probably his idea, right?”

 Phasma smiled knowingly. “You forget, she’s just as impulsive as he is. They both wanted this.”

            “Maybe she’ll set him straight now.”

“You know he’ll be just as mischievous as ever.” Hux hummed as he agreed. “I assume she’s blissfully unaware that she is now the wife of the future Supreme Leader?”

            Hux frowned. “You know the answer to that.”

“Unfortunately, I do.”

            “We mustn’t get into their personal affairs, Phasma. We have work to do regarding these stones.”

            “Please fill me in on that soon.”

“Unlike Ren, I don’t keep secrets from those I like.”

            Phasma’s tone was teasing. “You like me, Armitage? How sweet.”

“Stars, the rest of this war with you and Ren is going to be torture, isn’t it?” Phasma simply laughed at his grief

 

* * *

 

           

            “This is Ashlyn Novafall of the Resistance, looking to make contact. Can anyone read me?” She spoke; waiting for some response. Nothing. She kept receiving dead air. She couldn’t reach Rey at first and began to try for anyone at this point. With an exasperated sigh, she tried for a third time. “This is Ashlyn Novafall of the Resistance--”

            “Ash?” The broken communication came through.

Excitedly, Ash called out to the communication again. “Yes, I’m here! Who am I speaking to?”

            “This is General Organa.” The communication was clearler. “We are relieved to hear your voice.” She laughed lightly.

            Ash smiled at the familiar voice. “I’m just as happy to hear yours. Who’s all there?”

“You are speaking to myself, Admiral Ackbar, Luke, and Poe.” Leia informed her. “We’ve been awaiting your communication. You had us worried.”

            “I know, I’m sorry we didn’t check in sooner--” She paused a moment, realizing she had said ‘we’. And although she was certain they knew who she was talking about, it didn’t make it any less awkward. “There was an ambush on Naboo. The First Order found us. We almost didn’t make it out.”

            A new voice came over the communication, a voice she was more than happy to hear. “Ash, it’s Poe.” She smiled hearing his voice. “What happened? How did you get out of there?”

            “That’s one of the reasons I needed to reach out.” Ash admitted nervously. “We were rescued by the Ascension.” The line was silent. “We were told they had come to your aid when D’Qar was attacked.”

            Leia returned to the communication. “They did. You are with them now?”

She hesitated. “I am.” The door to the communication hub opened, Kylo Ren entered the room. She looked up at him as he walked over to the hub to stand across from her. “General Organa--” Ren flinched every so slightly at the name. “This war got a little more complicated.”

            “I can only imagine.”

“The Ascension are defective First Order officers, Troopers; people who, like the Resistance, want to change the galaxy.” Silence once more. “Leia, please, I know this sounds crazy and suspicious and you have every right to be skeptical, but--”

            “Ash, we can’t trust them.” It was Poe again. “They’re still First Order.”

Kylo Ren decided to intervene then; regardless if it made matters worse. He also had a personal vendetta against the pilot. “We are talking to the woman in charge, not you.” He snapped. The silence on the other end was deafening as Kylo Ren continued. “General Organa, this is Kylo Ren, Leader of the Ascension. We are at an impasse here. The only way to defeat the First Order and ultimately Supreme Leader Snoke is by working together.” He explained. “I know you don’t trust me, nor do you have any reason to. However, whether we like it or not, we are in this together.”

            Leia spoke once more; her tone stern for a multitude of reasons. “State your terms clearly, Ben.”

            Ash looked at Kylo Ren, his face like stone at hearing his Mother’s voice; hearing her blatantly refuse to call him Kylo Ren. Yet, she could feel internally he was so very close to losing his mind over it. “I’m sure the scavenger and Skywalker have explained the importance of the stones to you, yes?”

            “They have.”

“I need to work with them; Ashlyn, Rey and myself need to work together to gather the stones and take down Snoke. In order to do that, I need to come to you. Can you guarantee me safe passage to your base, as well as any personnel I may bring?”

            After what felt like an eternity, Leia gave her answer. “I will need to speak with my team. We will make contact with you on our decision.”

Kylo Ren’s eyes narrowed. “You have one hour.” He said sharply, ending the communication.

            “I could have handled it.” Ash said disappointedly, once she knew the Resistance could no longer hear her.

“They needed to be told directly our terms, otherwise it wouldn’t have gone anywhere.” He explained with no emotion.

            “Not everything needs to be handled with an iron fist, Ren.”

His brown quirked upward as he looked at her. “When you’re at war, you can’t show weakness. Compassion only exists when the battle is won. We won’t win this otherwise.”

            She shook her head. “You know I don’t believe that.”

Ren exhaled sharply. “I know.” The two stood firmly on either side of the hub, staring intently at each other from across the way. “After we speak to the Resistance again; I’d like it if we retired to our room for the rest of the evening.” Ash stared at him skeptically. “So we can enjoy some time together without getting shot at. It’s our wedding night afterall.”

            Ash sighed, frustration escaping her as she forced a smile. “You are such a romantic, Ren.”

He slowly walked around the hub until he was next to her. His taller frame towering over her smaller one as he looked down at her. “I’m sorry our wedding was less than perfect.” His voice low as his hand found hers and rested on top of it. “When this war is over; you’ll have everything. You won’t be denied anything.” He promised her. “I’ll take care of you.”

             Her smile grew, mostly over how ridiculous that was. She didn’t need the galaxy, she had the most important thing right in front of her. “I already have everything.” The electric feeling whenever they kissed never seemed to go away; each and every time their lips connected, Ash felt it more and more. A need; a desire. It was there, in each and every kiss. This kiss was no different as it deepened, threatening to become something more as his lips trailed down her chin and to her neck. “We have to reach out to the Resistance.” She painfully reminded him, loving the way his lips felt on her skin.

             “We can be late.” He argued; not wanting to stop.

She gently pushed him away; giving him a small smile before leaning up and pecking his lips once more. “Not this time.” Reluctantly, he agreed.

            “Find Phasma, have her take you to our apartment.” Before Ash could protest, he explained. “I need to talk to General Organa alone.”          

            “Are you sure?” She asked skeptically.

He nodded. “If I’m to be a Leader, I need to act like one. Besides, I need to speak to her as my Mother and as General.” Against Ash’s better judgement, she agreed to leave Kylo Ren alone. His reasoning was the only convincing factor she needed. Perhaps, this was a sign of the right direction. He wanted to speak to General Organa alone. As unsure as she was over his bargaining methods… she decided to let him try. The fate of the Ascension and the Resistance working together was left in Kylo Ren’s capable hands as Ash left to find Phasma.

 

* * *

 

            Leia was as surprised as she was reluctant to appease her son when he asked to speak to her in private. She could only imagine what tricks he had up his sleeves; an awful thought for a mother to have, but she had been burned by him before. “You’re late.” She said.

            “I had good reason.” He replied stiffly, not needing to explain himself to her. Even though his lateness had to do with an overload of doubt that overcame him. Luckily, the red head wasn’t there to see it. However, Ashlyn’s advice began to take over his mind. Perhaps, he needed to show compassion. At least, only when speaking to his Mother. “You took a chance when I need you; you kept Ashlyn safe when you had no reason to.” He said. “I need you to take a chance one more time.”

            “I took that chance because the man that reached out to me at his most desperate time was my son. I thought there was still a glimmer of hope in all this chaos, and that you would come home.” Leia explained. “The man reaching out to me now is the same man that killed his Father; the same man who has lied and cheated his way to get to where he is now.”

            He frowned. “I won’t waste your time and mine on a fake apology that you and I both know won’t mean anything. As my Mother, as the General of my only ally in this galaxy. Will you help me fulfill not just my own destiny, but Ash and Rey’s destiny?”

            “Only you are allowed on base.” Leia stated her terms fully. “No one else from the Ascension. We will work with them when we need to, other than that, they keep their distance. Is that clear?”

            It was a start. “Crystal.”

“When do you plan to arrive on Crait?” Leia asked. “I need to make sure the base is ready.”

            He rolled his eyes at that. “The sooner the better; expect us in a day or so.”

Her final statement was one that left a twinge of guilt within Kylo Ren. No; it left guilt in what was left of Ben Solo. “Ben… I’m counting on you to do the right thing.”

            He hesitated just for the briefest of moments. “Noted.” Once again, he abruptly ended the communication. For a long while, Kylo Ren stood at the hub, taking in everything that had just occurred. Another piece was coming together, yet now things were going to become increasingly complicated, especially being around all of the Force Users once more.

* * *

  


            “You really don’t have to do this.” Ash grimaced as she awkwardly shuffled on her feet. Phasma had shown the girl where her quarters were; a much larger room than Kylo Ren’s previous quarters on StarKiller. Even the bed was bigger; it was definitely noticeable. She’d gush over the perks of being married to him later, but right now she had to stop Phasma from going overboard.

            “Ashlyn, you just got married.” Phasma explained; she wouldn’t take ‘no’ for an answer at this point. “The least we could do is give you two a bottle of something and some food to celebrate.”

            Ash sighed, plopping down onto the couch in the apartment. “Fine, just don’t go crazy please?” The girl was practically begging her.

            “As much as I’d love to torture Ren and embarrass him, I wouldn’t do that to you.”

“Thank the stars…” She muttered under her breath. “Phasma… I’m really glad you and Hux are alright.”

            Phasma’s pursed lips immediately shifted into the smallest of smiles. It was a smile that held a fondness that Ash hadn’t seen from her. “I know they do stupid things; they’re men after all--” She began. “But do remember, they care. In some  twisted capacity; they really do care. That’s what separates them from the rest of the evil in this galaxy.” The door opened, revealing the very tense Force User as he stomped into the room. Phasma gave Ash a knowing grin before excusing herself. “I’ll have food sent to you both soon.” Without another word, she left.

           Ren looked at Ash. “Something about food and wine to celebrate.” She half explained. Kylo Ren made an ‘Oh’ with his lips as his eyes skimmed the room before silently approving of it. He then made his way to the couch, plopping down next to the red haired girl as his feet immediately stretched out to the coffee table. “How did the negotiations go?” Ash asked, being very careful not to bring up anything sensitive subjects such as Leia or the fact that Leia wouldn’t call him anything but ‘Ben’.

            “We leave tomorrow morning for Crait.” He explained. “Just you and me.”

Ash smiled. “That’s a good sign.”

            He frowned. “I’d rather have a team with me.”

“You have me.” She said. “I’ll keep the big-bad Resistance at bay.” He snorted as Ash looked around at their immediate surroundings, motioning to the space they had. “So, all this is a perk of being the Leader of something? Not bad. The bed’s even bigger.”

            Ren smirked, his body turning ever so slightly as he now faced Ash. “Thinking about bed already, Starshine?”

Her cheeks turned a very cute shade of pink. “Behave yourself.”

              “You brought it up.” He said, inching closer as Ash turned. Her back pressed firmly against the arm of the couch as Kylo Ren moved closer. He was now leaning over her; like an animal ready to pounce on its prey. He’d devour her.

                Yet, Ash had her own agenda. A new devious plan; she wanted answers and she was going to get them. She made it very known as Kylo Ren tried to lean in to kiss her, only to have her stop him as she placed her hand firmly on his chest. With her own strength, along with the Force, she held him there. At first, he glared, but mostly from being denied, then smirked. “What are you doing?”

            She returned his smirk with her own devious grin. “I’ll let you play, on one condition.” He waited patiently; or rather, impatiently, for her to explain. “The more questions you answer, the more freedom you can have.” Perhaps Hux was right and the time when Ashlyn would best him really wasn’t that far off. “How long have you been planning this uprising?”

            Ren pursed his lips, debating on if the sex was really worth this aggravation. Stars, it was, and soon he found himself answering. “Roughly three years.”

 Ash pulled back just a little, which allowed Ren to move forward… but with very little ground gained. “How many troops are there?”

            “Twenty-thousand.” He answered what he believed to be her next question. “Troops that Phasma has been conditioning for said three years.” Ash moved him a little closer again; to which he immediately objected. “I answered two questions in one, I deserve to be closer.”

            Ash grinned wickedly. “But I only asked one.” He groaned. Ash was playing a dangerous game; a game inspired by his own style. A game where she had the upper hand, something he dreadfully became fully aware of as she leaned up just enough to barely touch his lips with hers. “Next question--” Her breath tickled his lips; she knew she was driving him crazy. Regardless of how emotionless he could be at times; he was still a male with very strong male tendencies. “How long have you known about the stones?”

            His resolve was faltering and so was his patience. “Since the beginning of my training with Skywalker.”

            “And that they’d be used to defeat Snoke?”

He frowned; using the Force to push himself forward. “I answered a question.” He reminded her.

            She pushed him back, this time a little further than before. “And I make the rules.” Ash replied sternly. “When did you realize you needed me to help you?”

His frown softened, but only slightly. “The day we bonded. I dreamt about it; that’s when I realized the only way to take down Snoke was with the stones.”

            Satisfied; she pulled him closer. Now, he was merely inches from her. “What happens when this is all over?”

            He had to be careful answering this one; lest he wanted hormones to get in the way. Ren licked his lips, taking a quick moment to prepare an answer. “We remove corruption from the galaxy and start a new order.”

            “How?” He sighed in frustration. “I need you to promise me that history won’t repeat itself.”

Kylo Ren’s dark brown orbs locked with her eyes; noticing every little freckle in her green ones; every imperfection that made them perfect. “It won’t.”

            Ash seemed satisfied with that answer; Kylo Ren immediately took that as a green light as he released himself from her Force hold and moved forward; closing the gap between them. Ash, pulled back again as Kylo Ren groaned loudly. “One last question--” She said; her tone changing from her earlier assertive and aggressive one. Now, her voice sounded small. “Do you love me?”

            He pushed himself forward again, his lips capturing hers in an instance as they lingered there. Unlike most of their kisses that held a power struggle; a fiery passion of possessiveness. This one was simple; it was a promise. It was a sincere promise that everything was going to be okay. “You know I do.”

            Ash wrapped her arms around his neck, holding him close to her as she leaned up and kissed him again. Although he kissed her back, he hesitated going any further, but only for a few seconds. In fear that Ash would have one more question that she’d ask at the most inopportune time.

             Satisfied when she didn’t, his hands found their way behind her back, locking together as he scooped her up. Her legs wrapped around his waist tightly as he stood from the couch; their lips never breaking contact as he carried her to the bed.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you'd like to see the rest of this chapter... go to my tumblr. It's under Sillyhazard. Also. remember to comment! Okay bye!


	51. Family Reunion

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kylo Ren vs. Leia Organa

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guys, if my updates are happening way too fast, please let me know. I feel like I've lost some of you guys and I'm hoping it's not because the story is bad! More importantly, I hope you guys are okay and that nothing bad is going on in your lives! 
> 
> To everyone reading; you guys rock, thank you so much. Let me know if you're still out there and if I update too frequently, I can slow it down if you guys need me to!

* * *

 

The crew member that had brought food and wine to Kylo Ren’s apartment left everything outside the door, as per Phasma’s instructions. She warned the crew member that if he didn’t get a response on his first knock, he should leave the food and go, lest he wanted to lose his head.

            Either way, Ash happily grabbed the tray and bottle of wine and brought it in. She was in the mood to celebrate.

            She was wearing his black top; it fell loosely on her and she was practically swimming in it. She didn’t care; she made that abundantly clear as she walked around in it. Kylo Ren didn’t mind; in fact, she looked adorable in it. However, he’d rather her not be wearing anything at all.

            Ash placed the tray of food down on the coffee table before sitting on Kylo Ren’s lap with the bottle in her hand as she examined it. “They didn’t give us glasses.” She said with amusement as she began pulling at the cork.

            Kylo Ren frowned at her. “If that explodes and gets all over me--”

“Then you’ll be naked again and so will I, oh whatever shall we do?” Ash teased as Kylo Ren chuckled. The cork popped off the bottle, and luckily for Kylo Ren’s bare chest, nothing spilled on him. Although, now he sort-of wished it did spill on his pants, he’d have an excuse to take Ashlyn to bed again.

            Ash took a swig straight from the bottle, receiving a knowing look from Kylo Ren. “Really, Starshine?” She offered him the bottle as she swallowed the rather large gulp she took. Rolling his eyes playfully, he accepted and took a sip.

            With a heavy sigh, Ash leaned into his chest, her body relaxing against his as Kylo Ren levitated the wine bottle over to the table. His arms wrapping around her as much as possible as the two sat there. “Will it always be like this?” She asked. “Our continuous power struggle mixed with moments like this.”

            “I think we’re too stubborn for anything else.” He agreed. “It makes for an interesting marriage.”

            She laughed. “I wonder how everyone on Crait will take the news?”

“It doesn’t matter what they think.” He replied stubbornly.

            Ash frowned. “Regardless of what you think of her; she’s still your mother and I’m sure she’d be happy for us.”

            “She’ll be more shocked than anything.” Ren said; somewhat amused. “I had a very firm belief over getting married.” He explained. “But, again, she’ll be shocked that’s changed.”

            “It has?”

He gave her a knowing look. “I married you, didn’t I?”

           “That doesn’t mean you still aren’t critical over marriage.”

“No, but I’m critical over their marriage.”

           “But their marriage is not ours.” Ash snuggled just a little bit closer to his chest. “Like I told you before; you’re stuck with me. Through all your misadventures, I’ll be right beside you.”

            His lips pursed. “Are you sure about that?”

She looked up at him. “I’m still here aren’t I? We impulsively got married, I’d say we’re off to a good start on this whole misadventures thing.”

             Now he was grinning. “I suppose you have a point.”

“Of course I do.” Ash beamed for a brief moment before yawning; it was really late and the two were still wide awake. Or rather, he was. Ash had an inkling as to why. They’d be leaving for Crait in the morning and he’d be face to face with his Mother. Ash wasn’t sure how long it had been since the two had seen each other; but she had a feeling it was going to be a rocky reunion.

            “You should get some rest.” He all but insisted.

“Not unless you sleep with me.” She bargained.

            With one swift motion; he scooped Ash up into his arms and stood from the couch again. This time, their motive was to sleep as he walked them over to the bed again. “Only because you asked so nicely.” He said, placing her down onto the bed before lying down next to her.

            “You’re too good to me, husband.” There it was; that smile. He felt like he hadn’t seen that smile in forever. Yet, when he was fortunate enough to see it, he fell in love with her all over again. That same smile that changed everything for him. The smile he’d kill for; move planets for.

            He leaned over to her, kissing her softly. She moved closer to him, snuggling into his side. Something she had never pictured herself doing almost a year ago. Stars, how things had changed. Yet, the one constant was how she felt about him. Even before she realized it. He was her everything. She knew tomorrow would be difficult for both of them, but that wouldn’t stop her from trying to piece together the bridge that had been destroyed so long ago.

 

* * *

 

            _Ash sat up, the apartment was illuminated by a nearby moon from some Outer Rim territory she was unfamiliar with. Next to her, Kylo Ren slept soundly. He looked peaceful. With a smile, she managed to sneak her way out of bed and walk over to the window. Outside she saw the Ascension fleet floating among the stars. Everything was silent except for the ship’s engine. Something she wanted to check out on her own eventually. That would have to wait until they returned, of course._

_“Grey User--” She knew that voice. She had heard it only a few times, but in those times, it left a scar on her. The low and breathy growl that reached through the depths of darkness. Ash turned, the apartment no longer behind her. Instead, the throne room. In the chair once again sat Snoke._

_Unlike last time, however, Ash wasn’t afraid. She didn’t feel a strain on her mind. He wasn’t trying to fight her. Cautiously, Ash walked forward and closer to the creature. “You’re wasting your time.”_

_He chuckled darkly. “Oh, am I?” He said. “I don’t wish to hurt you, child. I’ve come to bargain.”_

_“I’m not here to listen.” Ash snapped. “Send me back.”_

_“Such spunk; and from a Grey of all things.”_

_Ash frowned, taking the bait. “What is that supposed to mean?”_

_“I’m sure you’ve been informed that as a Grey, your existence is only meant for one thing. Otherwise you shouldn’t exist.” Snoke said. “Not to me. I find your existence intriguing. A balance between the Light and the Dark. Absolute power over both sides; they should fear you.” He explained. “A pity they don’t see you for your true potential. What a waste of such power.”_

_“Why should they fear me?” He had her._

_“My dear, you have control over them; their balance, their Force. You are the bond that holds the very fabric of the Force together.” He said. “The prophecy; the stones. You’ve come to understand so much and yet so little. He hides so much from you; preventing you from reaching your true potential.”_

_The ‘he’ was clearly Kylo Ren. “He has his reasons for what he does.”_

_Snoke chuckled. “Is **that** what he has you believing?” He knew he had her; the doubt she had over Kylo Ren keeping the truth from her; Snoke was playing her. “He has you believing that this prophecy must come true. That you mean to fight me; end my reign. But, I feel you know that if you fight me, you will lose.”_

_Ash shook her head; vehemently denying that fact. “No, we won’t. We won’t lose and I think you’re afraid of that.”_

_“It’s not dying, I’m afraid of. I’m an eternal being; death means nothing to me. It’s the end of your path that scares me. Child, let me show you.” He nodded behind her. Ash turned, seeing the throne room once more. This time, a dead Snoke lied on the floor; his body in two. Next to his throne, Rey and Kylo Ren were battling. The two looking to kill one another. Something had gone terribly wrong as they battled. Then, Ash saw herself running forward to stop them. She ran between them, her arms flying outward. She had done that before; pushing them away. Except this time, it didn’t happen as Kylo Ren’s red blade came forward, stabbing her in the chest._

_She watched in horror as he pulled back; the regret and fear on his face as he dropped his saber, collapsing to his knees as he fell with Ash’s body. He held her in his arms, staring at the now still red head. Rey, screaming at him for what had happened before running her own blade through his chest._

_Tears fell down Ash’s face as she looked back at Snoke. “That’s not how it’s going to happen.”_

_“It is and it will.” Snoke said. “You can’t save them; you can’t save yourself.” He then leaned forward_. _“Stop them. Do what you were made to do; control the Light and Dark and I will let you all live. Keep them from completing their task; it’s the only way you will survive. That **he** will survive.” He was bargaining with the only piece he had; Kylo Ren. Ash was the Grey User to bring together the Light and Dark. Without her, it wasn’t possible. She could stop this; she could end their silly search for the stones and let Snoke continue his reign. However, Snoke didn’t count on one thing; Ash was a fighter._

_Ash looked back at the scene behind her, Rey was on her knees now, sobbing. Kylo Ren was dead; she was lying limp in his arms. Only death awaited them; it seemed even clearer now. Yet, even in that uncertain future, Ash knew one thing was true. They had to stop Snoke. She turned back to Snoke; the creature who thought he had won. “Forgive me, Supreme Leader--” She began. “But you tried to kill me once; and I am quite the stubborn bitch who holds a grudge.”_

_Snoke’s expression changed to one of malice as he sneered. “You will die. You will all die in the most cruelest of ways. I am certain of this. I will end you; I will end them all.”_

_“Bring it on, monster.” With that, Ash’s body was thrown backwards as she inevitably woke up._

 

          

* * *

 

            There were times when the whole “Force Bond” thing was useful; it helped her see into Kylo Ren’s emotions. It gave her a better understanding of how he was feeling and when things were going either right or completely wrong. This was not one of those times. Her eyes fluttered open and immediately she felt the wave of negative energy engulf the room as it began to suffocate her.

            That was the biggest inconvenience of their bond. He felt everything too; he also had  better insight when it came to accidentally seeing her dreams. Granted, most of the time it wasn’t accidental and he did it on purpose. Ash wasn’t exactly the best at not broadcasting these things.

            Either way, she knew he saw her dream. She just had a feeling and the flipped over coffee table and burn marks in the walls only confirmed her suspicions as she sat up. Her knees pulled to her chest as she made herself appear smaller than she was; waiting for Kylo Ren to notice she was awake. He did and immediately stopped pacing. His chest heaving as he tried to catch his breath. The distorted lightsaber blade retracting as he clutched the weapon tightly. His free hand ran through his dark locks as he tried to calm down. Easier said than done in his case.

            “How long has he been reaching out to you?” He asked bitterly, turning to face the girl on the bed. His eyes dark like coal.

            Ash’s top teeth raked over her bottom lip as she kept her composure. “This is the second time; the first being Ahch-To.”

His chest continued to rise and fall rapidly as he began to pace again. “Why is he reaching out to you?” He sounded like an adult reprimanding their child; Ash hated it.

            “I think he’s afraid.” Ash explained. “Or he’s just trying to scare us. Either way; he knows about our plan and the stones.” She continued. “He thinks you’re going to--”

            “I know what he thinks!” Ren snapped; his pacing coming to another halt as Ash flinched. It wasn’t her fault, but when Kylo Ren got like this, it was everyone’s fault. He trudged over to the bed now; crouching down in front of the bed. His placed his lightsaber on the floor, to show he wasn’t going to hurt her, not that she thought he was. His eyes softening when he looked at her, but the harshness still on his expression as he took her hands in his. “Nothing is going to happen to you.”

            She wasn’t sure if she simply didn’t believe him or was still shaken by his behavior. Either way, she kept that feeling to herself as much as possible. “I know.” Her voice was less convincing of that.

            Kylo Ren exhaled sharply through his nostrils; they flared slightly as his shoulders rose and fell along with it. “I’m going to keep you safe; whatever it takes.”

            “It’s not me I’m worried about.” She admitted sheepishly as she leaned forward, wrapping her arms around his neck. He reciprocate the gesture as his long arms found their way around her waist and was soon pulling her off the bed as he sat back on the floor. Ash was sitting on his lap. “We really might not make it through this…”

              “Don’t talk like that.” He kept her close, kissing the top of her head gently. He wouldn’t lie to her and say how everything would be fine and that they had nothing to worry about. They did; however, he’d promise to keep her safe. That was the closest thing he could do to reassuring her. But, this new development was also a reminder that their time was running short. They had work to do. “We need to leave for Crait.” Ren reminded her gently.

               Ash nodded as a small blip of excitement over seeing her friends again washed over her. She forced a smile; her defense mechanism coming through as she tried to joke through all dire situations. “Your mom is going to kill us.”

            Kylo Ren frowned. “She’ll learn to deal with the news.”

“I think she’ll be more upset she wasn’t invited.”

            He kissed her forehead. “No one was invited, Starshine.” Ash removed herself from his lap as Kylo Ren stood. “Get ready. I won’t tell you again.” He instructed.

            “Yes, sir.” She mocked saluted him, receiving quite the glare from the very tall man as he removed himself from the situation. She watched Kylo Ren begin to get ready before ultimately getting ready herself. His overwhelming promise to keep her safe was still flooding her thoughts. While the idea should have been comforting; there was still something in her mind warning her as to how extreme Kylo Ren could be in keeping his promise.

 

           

* * *

 

           

            Phasma and Hux made sure to be in the launch bay promptly before the two Force Users left the destroyer. They were also very curious as to how they were doing this morning; considering their bickering yesterday. Phasma had made a bet that the two would be just fine after their night off. Hux wasn’t so convinced and gladly took that bet. Mainly; he was hoping Kylo Ren was still suffering from an angry wife.

            That concept was still so new and weird to not Kylo Ren and Ash, but also to Phasma and Hux. They had known Kylo Ren for quite some time now; marriage was never something they had ever pictured for him. Hell, having a girlfriend was just as crazy of an idea. He wasn’t exactly the best at interacting with people; he was also a total pain-in-the-ass. Which, they meant endearingly and quite seriously.

            Yet, everything changed when Ashlyn arrived. He was slightly more tolerable than before and Hux only wanted to kill him five times per day verses the normal thirteen times. He counted once. It was thirteen.

            In some disturbing sense, they were grateful that Kylo Ren murdered the original maintenance leader; that gave them the means to reach out and bring Ash on board. Ash was a happy and welcomed accident in their eyes. She brought out a better side of Kylo Ren. A side they weren’t sure existed any longer. However, a lingering feeling stayed in the back of their minds was that Kylo Ren couldn’t change fully. He would still be that cocky and arrogant Force User set on domination for the greater good. At least, his opinion of the greater good. And while they firmly pioneered for that change, they’d cautiously follow Kylo Ren to victory in hopes that a second uprising would not be needed. They also hoped Ash wouldn’t kill him for hiding the whole ‘Kylo Ren - Supreme Leader’ thing and be an integral part in keeping Kylo Ren on a leash. That seemed even less likely.

            Regardless, Phasma had won her bet as the two Force Users arrived to the launch bay. They were drastically less aggravated with one another. Phasma and Hux exchanged knowing glances as Hux determined now was the most appropriate time to tease the leader of the Ascension. “You were right, Phasma.” He said. “A night alone together and they look… **_refreshed_**.”

            Ash’s cheeks burned red at the implication while Kylo Ren just smirked. “You should try it sometime, stars knows you need it.” He retorted. Hux grinned right back as Ash looked to Phasma, then back to Hux, realizing while they implied nothing; **_something_** was going on. And it took her this long to suspect it.

            “Boys, there are ladies present.” Phasma reminded them sharply.

“Phasma, you’re no lady.” Ren was clearly joking.

            “No, but she’s one hell-of-a-woman.” Hux mentioned in passing. Yep. Something was going on. “Shouldn’t you two be leaving?”

            Ren gently nudged Ash; noticing her mind was working a mile a minute as she tried to process what was happening in front of her. There was no way she was that oblivious to it, right? Perhaps, Phasma and Hux were just that good at keeping it hidden. Either way, she was brought out of her internal process. “Keep all communications open, we’ll be in touch once we finish negotiations.” Ren said.

            “Yes, sir.” Hux’s tone was mocking, but also serious.

Kylo Ren ushered Ash to a new ship; a transport unit that was much smaller than the yacht but still enjoyably bigger than the Silencer that Ash had come to really despise.

            The two were cleared for takeoff as the transporter lifted off the floor of the launch bay and soon the two were airborne and leaving the safety of the Ascension. Ash took her seat in the copilot seat as Kylo Ren began to prepare them for hyperspace. “So…” Ash began, Kylo Ren waited patiently for her to say what she had been thinking. “Hux and Phasma?”

            He chuckled. “For a Force User, you are quite oblivious sometimes.”

She sat up straight. “It’s really a thing?!”

            “It’s **_been_** a thing.” Ren explained. “Although it’s been a very quiet thing.”

“They’re really good at hiding it.” The news sinking in then. “Unlike us.”

            Ren gave her a pointed look. “I thought we hid our relationship well.” He clearly wasn’t serious. “To be fair, they didn’t have an invisible pull towards each other than made things very difficult to control at times.”

            Ash laughed, relaxing in her seat again. “True.” She agreed. “Maybe they’ll be the next to get married.”

            He scoffed. “Doubtful.”

“Why’s that?”

            “They enjoy denying what they have too much.” Kylo Ren informed her. “It’s a fun game for them. If they got married that would ruin the illusion.”

            Ash shook her head. “That’s just silly.”

“Not everyone gets married, Starshine.” He said, the ship entering hyperdrive.

            “Well, if you believe that then maybe we should get divorced.” The two exchanged knowing glances; grinning as they did. Ash’s attempt at keeping Kylo Ren’s spirit light was working… for now. But, that would all change once they landed on Crait.

* * *

  


            Crait was in complete and utter chaos as the Resistance prepared for the arrival of Ashlyn Novafall and the man that they had all come to fear. Everyone was on edge, unsure what was going to happen once Kylo Ren stepped on base. Was this all secretly a trap? Was he going to kill every last one of them? Stars, the uncertainty was doing a nice job at killing everyone on the inside as they ran around like Endorian chickens with their heads cut off.

            Leia kept her concerns internally as she stood by the entrance of the Resistance base; she stared out at the salt covered planet, her reservations internal as she remained as calm as possible. If she panicked, the base would explode.

            Thankfully, She wasn’t alone; Luke had joined her. The twins standing side-by-side as their eyes locked to the sky, awaiting any sign of Ash and Kylo Ren. “Did I make the right choice?” She asked her brother.

            “Are there such things as right choices anymore?” Luke retorted, causing Leia to smile slightly. “We can only wait for whatever surprises come our way now.”

“We’re at war, my son apparently changed sides, and has fallen in love with a mechanic; nothing surprises me anymore.” Leia mused.

            “I think she’s good for him.”

“No--” Leia explained. “They’re good for each other. At least, I’m hoping that’s still the case.”

            Luke sensed his sisters reservations even more so now. “You haven’t seen them together yet, have you?” He attempted to calm her concerns. “It was like seeing Ben Solo all over again; a piece of him pushing back to the surface.”

            “It feels like I've lost him forever.”

Luke explained. “No one is truly ever gone. And while he will always embrace the Darkness; that doesn’t mean he can’t ever do the right thing. Our Father is an example of that.”

            The ship broke into the atmosphere; Leia’s eyes locked onto it as she sighed. “I hope you’re right; I hope my son can still be redeemed.”

            “Have faith, dear sister.” Luke smiled; looking up at the ship as it came closer to the base. “And be ready for the biggest headache when he does arrive.” Leia’s smile was hard to hide then as the base behind them began to panic even more so.

 

* * *

 

            As Kylo Ren landed the ship inside the base, he barely blinked. Ash noticed immediately as she stared at him; waiting for something to happen. “I’m okay, Ash.” He informed her, as amusement spread across his face. There was a welcome party, consisting of dozens for Resistance members with blasters, waiting for them to exit the ship.

            “I know you are--” Ash said. “I don't think **_I’m_** okay.” She joked, laughing nervously.

“Afraid I won’t behave?” He asked, removing himself from the pilot seat.

            “You have no idea.” She muttered, following him and darting for the ramp. “Let me go out first and calm everyone down, okay?” Kylo Ren rolled his eyes, gesturing for her to go ahead, although finding her worry unnecessary. He wasn’t going to do anything… at least, he wasn’t going to do anything unprovoked.

           Ash descended the ramp first, her eyes scanning the Resistance members, taking in the wall of fear that was radiating from them as she offered a nervous smile. ‘ _It’s cool--’_ She thought. ‘ _Be cool, everyone…’_

             ‘ _This is ridiculous’_

_‘Just take it slow, Ren. Please! They’re all trigger happy and ready to shoot you.’_

             ‘ _I dare them…’_ He was so unhelpful. However, Ash’s fears soon dissolved as the familiar face of Rey came through the crowd. Ash ran down the ramp, ignoring the jittery Resistance members as they jumped at her sudden movement. The girls embracing tightly. “You have no idea how happy I am to see you.”

            "I was so worried.” Rey admitted. “I didn’t hear from you and then found out you were attacked--” The girls pulled away, looking at each other.

            “I’m sorry, I wanted so much to contact you. Everything was happening so fast and we had to get out of Naboo.”

             “Ash?” The girl turned at the sound of her name, seeing a familiar face coming forward. Poe’s face lit up immediately when he saw the red haired girl. She was safe and she was back where she belonged. He began to run over to her, ready to hug her after not seeing her for so long. Except, he didn’t get to. About two feet from the girl his body stopped short, unable to move for a brief moment, before flying backwards. He yelped loudly, causing everyone to stare at him then back to the ramp of the ship.

            Ash was mortified as the blasters of the ‘welcome committee’ aimed for the man in black that was standing on the ramp. His hands raised defensively as he simply said. “Oops.”

            She sighed, looking apologetically to Rey before trudging back up the ramp to stand by Kylo Ren. “Are you serious?!” She said through gritted teeth. “Everyone here already wants to kill you and you do that?”

            He glared. “Again. **_Oops_**.”

It was then Leia and Luke joined the fray; Leia looking disapprovingly at the two Force Users that had just arrived. “Both of you, come with me.”

            With even more reluctance at how this was already going, Ash followed. She missed, however the exchange in glares between Poe and Kylo Ren as Kylo Ren walked passed.

           

* * *

 

 

            Rey disappeared while Leia spoke with Ash and Kylo Ren. She knew they needed to speak in person first before the rest of the group was involved. She took her few moments of free time to travel to one of the furthest explored areas of the base where she found Finn, sitting on a rock salt formation. “Hey.” She offered a weak smile.

            “Hey.” He returned the gesture.

“Mind if I join you?” Rey asked, Finn only nodded as Rey found the only practical spot near him as she sat. “They just arrived.”

            Finn pursed his lips. “Figured. I didn’t hear any shots, I assume it went well?”

Rey grimaced. “If by ‘well’ you mean everyone was okay with Kylo Ren tossing Poe backwards with the Force. Then sure, it went great.”

            Finn stared at Rey incredulously. “He did what?” She didn’t respond. “Why did we allow him to come here again?”

            “Unfortunately, we need him.”

“That’s a dangerous concept. He knows we need him; he’ll just walk all over us.”

            Rey half-agreed with him. “I know you’re going to say I’m crazy for this, but, he does mean well. Even if meaning well is only when Ash is involved.”

            Finn shook his head. “What does she see in that guy?”

“Something the rest of us clearly don’t.”

            “He almost killed me. He almost killed you; Poe. He’s pretty much almost killed everyone on this base and yet, here we are letting him walk around.”

            Rey understood where Finn was coming from; the two had been through a lot and most of that had to do with Kylo Ren. Yet, at the same time, they would have never met if it hadn’t been for the murderous man. In her eyes, that was a decent trade. “I think we haven’t seen the good that Kylo Ren has in him just yet.” She explained. “And while I find him to be the most repulsive thing in this galaxy; there’s something we don’t see that he’s capable of. Something Ash is convinced of. I trust her.”

            “I know you do.” Finn said. “I trust her too; she helped me get you back. That doesn’t make everything Kylo Ren has done okay.”

            “No, it doesn’t.” Rey agreed. “But maybe it’s a start towards redemption.”

Finn gave her a pointed look. “Kylo Ren? Redeemable?”

            “Master Skywalker believes anyone can be redeemed.” Rey nudged Finn slightly. “They just need the right people to help guide them.”

            He offered her a weak smile. “Alright, I’ll play nice with Kylo Ren. Is that what you want to hear?”

            “I’m just asking you not to shoot him when you see him.”

Finn laughed. “Fine, but I’m not going to forgive him.”

            “You don’t have to.” She smiled brightly then; receiving a nudge back from Finn as the two sat comfortably for a little while longer. The two happy to be together again.

 

* * *

 

           

              The two new arrivals followed Leia to the debriefing area, it was just the three of them now. For the first time in a long time, Kylo Ren actually stayed silent. Sure, he was cocky, arrogant and overconfident. But now that he was sitting face to face with his Mother; Kylo Ren lost that confidence. “Ben.” Leia said, her voice even as she looked at her son for the first time in a very long one. The scar across his face was new; and even though it changed his features ever so slightly; his eyes remained the same. That was one hopeful thing Leia noticed.

               “Mother.” He reciprocated the tone, yet still keeping a slight edge to it as they had their staredown.

“You’ve brought chaos with you, like always.” Leia mused. “The base is in an uproar over your arrival.”

                Kylo scoffed. “It’s not like it was a surprise. They had ample warning we were coming.” Kylo feigned shock. “Or, did you not warn them?”

              “They knew.” Leia wasn’t so easily shaken by him. “They just weren’t expecting you to throw a man across the room the moment you arrived.”

                Ren smirked. “He deserved it.”

Ash rolled her eyes. “This is just going swimmingly, isn’t it?”

            Leia and Kylo Ren were locked in a stare down now; neither one looking away as Leia finally asked. “Ash, would you mind excusing me and my son for a moment?”

             A little too eagerly, Ash stood from the seat. “You got it!” And raced out the door. She wasn’t having this awkward situation and would much rather be with Rey.

              Ren glowered at her excitement over leaving the room; he sat back in the chair, trying to seem as relaxed as possible and unphased by Leia. However, Leia knew better. “So--”

              Leia got straight to the point. “What happened on Naboo?”

“We were ambushed.” Ren explained flatly. “First Order found us.”

               “And now you’re apparently leading the Ascension?”

He rolled his eyes. “I was **_always_** leading the Ascension. We were just separated before I could get to them.”

              “Did you plan on informing me of your army?” Leia asked bluntly.

“I was hoping to leave you out of it--” Ren explained sharply. “That I could take care of the problem without getting the Resistance involved.”

               Leia frowned slightly. “And how is that working out for you?”

Ren clicked his tongue to the roof of his mouth. “Not so great; Snoke needs to be dealt with differently than what I originally thought. This whole prophecy thing is screwing everything up.”

               “And once you defeated Snoke; once the Galaxy had no ruler, then what? What was your play?” Leia was smart; she was intuitive and she knew her son well.

               Ren was glaring now as he looked away. “You know the answer to that.” Leia’s lips formed a thin, straight line. “I would make a better Leader than him; there would be Order and there wouldn’t be such turmoil.”

               “Being in charge is not so simple, Ben.”

He snapped. “I get that.”

               “You can’t just take over that role, there has to be a new established government; a new plan in place--”

“And I have one.” He argued like a child at times.

              “A hostile takeover is not going to work and you know that.” Leia’s tone was softer now; stern but comforting in a way only a mother could be. “Let me help you; let’s work together to save the galaxy and fix the governing bodies. A democracy--”

              He snorted. “Democracy doesn’t work. You know that.”

“Neither does totalitarianism.” She replied knowingly. “Why are you doing all this, Ben? You hated politics ever since you were little. Why change that view now?”

             Kylo Ren looked back at his mother, his arms folding across his chest. “I did hate politics; I hated how it took up your time. You were so focused on it, the Rebellion, rebuilding the Republic. I wanted to destroy it on principle; destroy what took you away. Then once it became corrupt, even with your guidance in trying to fix it, I had a new motivation.”

            Leia wasn’t blind to their troubled past. She knew what politics did to her family, how it alienated her from them. When Han was disappearing more and more, Leia sank deeper into her role in the Senate. It kept her busy and ignorant to the missing piece in her life. It also destroyed her son; something she knew. Something she was powerless to control. “And I take full responsibility for pushing you away. While it wasn’t my intention, I was holding onto a lot. I expected so much and pushed away my son in doing so. And your Father--” She paused, noticing the hurt that quickly washed over his face. “I don’t forgive you for what you did to your Father.” Leia’s words were harsh, but necessary. “But I understand why you did it.”

          He bit the inside of his lip; trying to keep his emotions in check and not go off on a tirade. “It’s much more complicated than that. I needed to kill him; that doesn’t mean I wanted to.”

            “And now here we are.” Ren exhaled sharply. “If you are really here for my help, and you really want to change the galaxy for the better; then I will help you. But, know this, the moment you betray that--”

            He glared. “Are you sure you want to trust me so blindly? After all the things I’ve ruined for you.”

            “You’re still my son. Don’t make me regret trusting my son.”

“Why?” He wanted her to hate him; he killed her husband after all. Why didn’t she just hate him, it would make everything so much easier.

            “Because even though you can never come back from the Darkness; you can still be a good person. The two aren’t mutually exclusive.” She said, taking what Luke had told her earlier to heart. “I firmly believe that and you’ve shown me as much with Ash.”

            He wasn’t sure why he wanted to tell her; in fact, if this conversation hadn’t happened he probably wouldn’t have. Yet, Leia had that mysterious bond with him, the bond of a Mother and Son. Something he hated and yet secretly embraced. “We got married.”

            Leia’s face remained unchanged. “I figured something else had happened on Naboo. I could feel it. Almost as much as I felt when you reached out to me in the first place; how much you cared for that girl.”

            “I’d rather you didn’t tell her.” Kylo said with a sigh. “I’ll never hear the end of it.”

“I’d never give away your secret.” Leia agreed; smiling. “But you should.”

            Kylo scoffed. “What more could I say to her that she doesn’t already know? If she wasn’t so intune with my emotions, I doubt we’d be married right now.”

            “Marriage is hard; your Father and I realized it too late.” Leia said, somewhat fondly at the memory of Han Solo. “Sometimes I wonder if I had just said or done something different, or if he had…”

            “He was a fool.” Kylo replied distastefully. That resentment for his Father’s absence was always a lingering factor.

            “He still tried as much as he could.” Leia corrected him. “He was never meant for a domestic lifestyle; I should have never made him.” She looked at Kylo Ren thoughtfully; not as a General giving advice, but as his Mother. “All I’m saying is do what you can while you can. As long as you both never stop fighting for it, you’ll never lose.” She then smiled warmly. “I also really like her a lot.”

            Kylo actually grinned. “That’s what I was afraid of.”

 


	52. The Dark User vs. The Pilot

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kylo Ren and Poe Dameron really don't like each other

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guys, thank you so much for reaching out last chapter. I was getting super nervous considering it's been really quiet and not just on here but also on the other site this story is on. I got a little worried that maybe we were all falling out of this story, which I'm so happy isn't the case! I love writing for you guys and I really, REALLY appreciate you guys taking the time to reach out. 
> 
> I also wanted to give you the heads up... this story is kind-of close to being done? I know right?! After this we get into the misadventures with the Force User trio and then... the ending stuff and I can't see that being more than 20 chapters, if that. So... we're almost done. Holy. Crap. I can't believe how close we are. Excuse me while I go freak out somewhere

* * *

 

              Ash was more than happy to have escaped that awkward situation. She knew between Leia and Kylo Ren there were years’ worth of turmoil that clearly wasn’t going to be settled in their brief moment. However, it was a start. Hopefully, things would end up better than before.

              When it came to awkward confrontations though, Ash wasn’t exactly out of the woods yet as she turned the corner and stumbled into the familiar pilot with the rolling droid by his side. Their eyes widening when they saw each other, before the pilot frowned. “Am I allowed to hug you yet, or am I going to get thrown across the base again?” Poe asked bitterly as he looked behind Ash to make sure Kylo Ren wasn’t there. BB-8 chirped, agreeing with Poe.

            Ash grimaced. “Sorry about that.”

“Yeah, well--” Poe reached forward, bringing Ash in for a tight hug. The two embracing for a long while. “I’m glad you’re okay, First Order.”

            “The feeling’s mutual, hero.” Their hug reluctantly ended as the two pulled away from one another. Ash leaned down to the funny little droid, smiling brightly. “I missed you too, buddy.” BB-8 blipped. “I know, I left without saying ‘goodbye’--” Another whirlwind of chirps as Ash laughed. “I know, I know, I still owe you those upgrades! I promise I’ll get them to you before all this is over.”

            Ash stood up again, looking at the awkward smile of her pilot friend. “So--” He began. “Kylo Ren, huh?” As much as he hated Kylo Ren; this was Ash. He was her friend and he had supported her through all of this. Even though he absolutely despised the man she was apparently with, he knew that didn’t tarnish their friendship. Even though he wished it would; seeing her in potential danger wasn’t exactly something he enjoyed.

            She bit her lip nervously, feeling like she was having an awkward conversation with a parent over their disapproval of her new boyfriend. Granted, she never had that little luxury growing up. This was better than nothing, right? “Yeah. Kylo Ren.”

             “You know what he’s done, right?”

Ash rolled her eyes, shifting on her feet as she did. “Please don’t try and lecture me on this, I’ve had so many people do so already--”

            He raised his hands defensively. “It’s not my place or my business.”

“Thank you.” Ash meant that, even if she was still somewhat defeated over their conversation.

            Poe blinked a few times, now he was trying to make sense of it all. “But he’s so… moody.”

            Ash laughed full heartedly. “Yes, he is quite moody. He’s also tall, handsome and--”

Poe interrupted her then, waving her off. “Alright, alright. Enough daydreaming over here. You’re grossing me out.” She smiled at his discomfort; discomfort that washed away the minute she did. “Just promise me you’ll be careful though. I honestly don’t think I can take him in a fight--” Ash laughed again. “The guy is huge and he’s got magic powers!”

            “You know it’s not magic powers, right?”

Poe shrugged playfully. “Might as well be.”

            “Found them!” Poe and Ash turned to see Finn and Rey walking down the hallway and towards them, smiling brightly when they saw Ash. “I heard this troublemaker was back on base.” Finn teased as Ash walked to him, the two hugging quickly.

            “I’m so happy to see you up and about again.” Ash said in earnest, only to instantly regret it as Finn responded.

 “I am; no thanks to your boyfriend though.” Finn retorted, receiving a look from Poe and Rey.

            Ash shook her head. “I deserved that one.”

Finn bit his lip; now feeling awful. “No, you didn’t. I’m sorry. It’s not an excuse but, everyone’s just on edge today.”

            “Oh, don’t I know it.” Ash agreed, looking at the trio apologetically. “I get it; I get how this looks and I get everyone’s reservations about him. He doesn’t exactly help the situation by any means. He’s telling the truth when he says he’s here to help. We have to work together, now more than ever. The prophecy is real and Snoke knows what we’re trying to do; he’s scared.”

            Rey looked at Ash in disbelief. “Snoke knows?”

“He reached out to me again--” Rey was horrified then, panic taking over her face as she was reminded of what had happened to the both of them. Ash quickly tried to calm her down. “He didn’t try to hurt me this time. But, I think he’s scared.” She looked back at Poe and Finn. “We need to work together; Kylo will help us. If not--” She licked her lips, somewhat nervously as she tried to think of how she could reassure the group.

            “Then you will accept the consequences that go with it, should he betray us.” Another voice chimed in, the group looked down the hall; seeing Luke Skywalker as he came closer. “Hopefully it won’t come to that and my nephew will see the Light.” He looked to the group. “Leia has called a meeting with all of us. We are discussing happens next.”

            The group silently agreed as they followed Luke Skywalker to the debriefing room where Leia and Kylo Ren were. Ash’s nerves getting the best of her as her head began to swarm with doubt. This meeting could only go so well considering who was in attendance.

 

* * *

 

            He was relieved to see Ash walk into the debriefing room; only to have that immediately wash away when Poe followed in not much after, followed by the stupid scavenger girl. He knew she had been with them and that twinge of jealousy soon took over as Ash walked over to him. “Hey--” She spoke softly. “How did it go?”

            “Fine.” That was the end of that conversation.

Ash sighed, knowing he was grumpy about something. Most likely that something was the pilot in the orange jumpsuit. She gently touched his arm, he flinched ever-so-slightly as she smiled up at him. “Relax.”

            He rolled his eyes. “I’m fine.” He insisted. Ash gave him a knowing look.

“Everyone, please have a seat.” Leia instructed; the group responding immediately as they sat around the large debriefing table. Ash noticed the room was rather dusty all things considered; as though the base hadn’t been used in decades. She’d come to find out that was exactly the case. “I won’t hide the fact that my son has done awful things--” Leia began. “I also will not let the fact that he is my son blind me to the fact that there is a lot at stake here.” All eyes fell on the slightly smirking man. “We will work with the Ascension, at a distance for now until the time is right. Ben has informed me that the first stone is on Cularin. He will be joined by Ash and Rey as this is now their burden.”

            “When do we leave?” Rey asked.

She was answered by Kylo Ren; the mood obviously shifting not in his favor. “The sooner the better. Once we have the stones we can begin the final takedown of Snoke and the First Order.”

            “Do we know where the other stones are?” Poe asked. Ash could feel the tension in the room build as Kylo Ren glared at him from across the table.

            “I will take that responsibility and research what I can to find the remaining stones.” Luke chimed in; sensing a potential fight between his nephew and the noble pilot of the Resistance.

            Finn made a face before glancing quickly at Rey. “So, we’re all splitting up again?”

“That’s what it looks like.” Poe agreed. “Unless the Force Users could use extra help, I can fly out with them to the Extended Region. It’s not exactly safe out there.”

            Stars, even his voice was annoying. Kylo Ren hated that pilot with every fiber of his being. He wanted nothing more than to crush his windpipe and be done with it. If he wasn’t certain Ash would never ever forgive him for doing so… he would have by now. The red-haired girl next to him made it extremely difficult for him to act out on his impulsive need to murder the pilot across from him.

            There was something about the way Poe looked at Ashlyn; even if it held nothing but a fondness that was meant for friendship… he was still **_looking_** at her. “Ash and I--” Kylo Ren began.

            “And Rey--” Ash mumbled.

He rolled his eyes. “And Rey.” He distastefully repeated. “Don’t need your help, pilot.”

            Poe glared at him. “I was just offering--”

“I know what you were offering.” Ren growled.

            Ash sighed. “Stars--”

“This whole mission involves all of us; **_Commander_**.” Poe dared right back.

            Ash began to sink in her seat then as Kylo Ren smirked. “Not a Commander anymore, **_pilot_**.”

            Poe raised his hands defensively, feigning any fear as he said. “Right, sorry. You’re leading some rogue group of traitors, right?”

            Kylo Ren waved his hand without much effort and soon Poe flew backwards in his seat; the chair landing with a thud on the ground as Rey and Finn abruptly stood, checking on their friend.

            “What is your problem?!” Rey yelled as Finn helped Poe to his feet again.

“It’s alright, Rey.” Poe explained calmly, repositioning his chair as he sat down in it again. “The guys got an attitude problem.”

            “No--” Kylo Ren began and Ash knew immediately where this was going, and before she could stop him, the words came out. “I just don’t like the way you look at my wife.” That undoubtedly made things a thousand times worse as everyone except for Leia, Ash and Luke, screamed **_‘WHAT’_** in unison.

            Ash’s head found the table immediately as she rested her forehead against it. She wanted to crawl into a hole and die. This was not going the way she had hoped. Then again, no one had shot him yet, so there was some silver lining in all this.

            “You two got married?” Rey asked incredulously; praying she misheard him.

Kylo Ren was so proud of himself; it showed in his expression as Ash groaned into the table. “Won’t be for much longer if he doesn’t cut this crap out.”

             Ren feigned hurt as he frowned. “That’s a mean thing to say.”

Ash shot up, the blood rushing to her head as she glared at him. “You’re joking, you’ve got to be joking. **_I’m_** the one being mean?!”

            Luke Skywalker had had enough; it showed when mimicked Kylo Ren’s earlier motion and sent Kylo Ren flipping backwards in his own chair. “Can we **_please_** get back to business here?”

            Kylo Ren sat up, glaring at Luke. “And **_that_** was uncalled for.” He grumbled, standing up and fixing his chair.

            “You deserved it.” Poe argued back at him; probably not his best choice as Kylo Ren glared at him. “You flipped my chair over too!”

            “Then stop **_thinking_** about my wife.” He growled.

“I can’t even **_think_** about her?!” Poe yelled. “She’s my friend too, pal!”

            Ash stood from her seat, saying nothing as her face remained unmoved; hiding all emotion as she stormed out of the room; leaving Kylo Ren to face everyone and them equally facing him. She didn’t care. She was exhausted. She was over it. Everyone was being childish and they had work to do. Yet, everyone seemed to forget that little fact. Ash stomped around the base until she found herself inevitably, and quite happily, lost.

            Kylo Ren immediately went to follow after her, only to be reprimanded by Leia. “Ben--” She began. “You can’t just walk out there by yourself. The base--”

            He glared. “I don’t care.”

“Clearly.” Leia’s sarcasm was not to be matched. Not even by her own son as the two were locked in a stare down of epic proportion.

  

* * *

         

 

            Ash was undoubtedly lost as she wandered the salt mines; she had been following a clear path and soon found herself staring at a familiar salt formation. She had passed this hallway before. In any other circumstance, she’d probably be freaking out over the possibility of having lost her way and being forgotten down here. Except now, she was welcoming that idea. Ash groaned, plopping herself down on the ground as she looked up at the red salt formations around her.

            Things were out of control lately; she had to worry about a galactic war, completing a prophecy, and now her husband fighting her friends. Things were much easier when she was simply Ashlyn Novafall. Well no, she wasn’t ‘ _Simply Ashlyn Novafall’_ or even just ‘ _Ashlyn Novafall’_. She was ‘ _Ashlyn Solo’_ the wife of one of the most feared men in the galaxy. The wife of the man who couldn’t keep his ego at bay. The man she loved more than anything and yet also wanted to slap that stupid smirk off his face. She knew she could never have a ‘ _normal_ ’ life when married to that man, if anything, she was the only thing **_controlling_** his behavior at times. He was frustrating, he was infuriating… and yet, she loved his stupid-fucking-face.

            Ash closed her eyes, leaning back against the cavern wall as she breathed in; holding her breath for a moment before exhaling. “Didn’t think I’d see you again.” She commented. “Not after Naboo.”

            “I’m your Force guide; you can’t get rid of me so easily.” He mused as Ash opened her eyes to look at him. Anakin stood across from her, leaning up against the opposite wall. “So, they seem to really like each other.” He was clearly joking.

            Ash frowned at him. “We have more pressing matters to deal with in the galaxy, and those two decide they’d rather be at war with each other.” Ash deflated slightly. “What do I do?”

            Anakin shrugged. “The only thing you can do; keep fighting.”

“They’re not making this any easier.” Ash was starting to feel that overwhelming and crushing weight of defeat then. “Snoke reached out to me again--”

            He pursed his lips. “He did.” His reply didn’t seem too surprised.

Her voice was quieter then; her thoughts cloudy as she remembered all that Snoke had said and showed her. The fear and uncertainty of not being able to win. “Are we going to die?”

            “There are many outcomes--” Ash interrupted him then.

“And in how many of those outcomes do we lose?” He didn’t answer her, which only made her feel a thousand times worse.

            “There’s still hope.” Anakin reminded her. “One outcome, while I can’t tell you exactly what it entails, something truly special comes of it.”

            She offered a weak smile. “So, I just have to keep fighting for that one possibility out of thousands?”

            He reciprocated her smile. “Millions, actually.”

Ash unwillingly laughed. “The odds are forever against me.”

            “And in your favor.” That was comforting and also terrifying all in the same. “How long do you plan to hide down here?”

            Ash looked around; the red salt crystals were shimmering from the light that manages to break through from the surface. “I’m lost.”

            He gave her a knowing look. “You have the Force, you can find your way.”

She smiled. “I know, but I’d like to pretend I can’t for just a little while longer.”

            “As you wish.” And soon, Ash was alone in her thoughts again.

* * *

  


            The “children” were yelling at each other once more; this time was an escalated reprise of another fight that had happened five minutes prior when Kylo Ren rolled his eyes at Poe Dameron’s plan. Then after a (very brief) moment of calming down, Poe returned the gesture when Ren was speaking. Now, they two were at each other’s throats again, arguing like children.

            Rey and Finn were lounging in their chairs, looking completely defeated and over it as they exchanged glances. Luke looked bored and unamused at the power struggle before him and Leia had had enough. In fact, she was so done, she moved the entire meeting to another room. The insane part of it all was how long it took Kylo Ren and Poe to notice that everyone had left as they continued to scream at each other.

            “Where is everyone?” Poe looked around the room in confusion, his shoulders rising in falling as he tried to catch his breath. His face red from yelling. Kylo Ren did the same, looking around and noticing the two were alone then. He said nothing as Poe sighed. “Look, you hate me and I most certainly don’t like you.”

            “Hate is not a strong enough word--” Kylo Ren mumbled.

“I get it!” Poe snapped. “Okay, I get it? You want to kill me, which you so kindly tried to numerous times now. And to be honest, I wouldn’t mind shooting you with my blaster either.” Ren rolled his eyes, knowing full well that that wouldn’t go over well with Poe. He’d stop the blaster shot and kill Poe where he stood. He didn’t see how he’d lose in this situation. “We have to work together. Not for the galaxy, forget the war, forget Snoke, forget all of it. Ash is your wife, alright? I know that, I understand that. You both took a vow to be married and I’m not here to mess that up. But, she’s my friend too.” He reminded him. “She’s my friend, she’s Rey’s friend, she’s Finn’s friend; and she’s allowed to have friends. What she doesn’t deserve to deal with is our crap. I’m willing to put whatever hostility this is aside and work together for her sake.”

            Kylo Ren’s arms folded over his chest, Poe realized then for a man who was so feared and so strong… he could be quite the child at times. Granted, Poe wasn’t helping dissolve the situation earlier either.

            He didn’t want to admit Poe was right. He really didn’t. But Ash was important to him and unfortunately important to the pilot as well. For his wife’s sake, he was going to have to work with these Resistance scum bags. He had to for a multitude of reasons, but Ash was priority number one. “Fine.” Poe sighed in relief over the (even though it was reluctant) cooperation of Kylo Ren. “But know this pilot. You overstep your boundaries in any way I deem unacceptable; you will regret it.”

            “Well, that’s going to get ugly fast. You threw me across the room for trying to hug her.”

“That’s unacceptable.” Ren shrugged.

            Poe groaned. “C’mon, work with me here!”

“Fine, nothing more than that.” Ren grumbled.

            “Thank you.” Poe’s appreciation was slightly misplaced, but he knew it was the best he was going to get for now. “Now, I know there isn’t much I can do to hurt you, at least not face to face.” Poe threatened. “But, if you hurt her; I’ll kill you.”

            Ren grinned wickedly. “Are you **_really_** threatening me, pilot?”

“You got to threaten, why can’t I?”

            He rolled his eyes, while he still absolutely abhorred the man, he respected his spirit. “Noted.”

            Poe looked around the room nervously then, remembering that the two were alone and the only other man in the room wanted to kill him. “We should probably go find the others.” He suggested, an attempt to be around people just in case things went south again.

            “No--” Ren’s smirk fell as he responded sincerely. “We should find Ash first and apologize for our behavior.”

            Poe scoffed. “ ** _You_** apologize?”

“Only when it involves her.” Ren replied, somewhat amused at the accusation. While the two were not friends by any means, hell, they weren’t even ‘okay’ with one another, they were at an understanding. They’d work together and not try to kill each other, but only for Ashlyn’s sake. It was a start towards a truce. To show they meant it, in good faith, they needed to apologize to the red-haired girl that was wandering around the salt mines.

 

          

* * *

 

 

            Ash wandered deeper and deeper into the salt mines; twisting and turning down any new passage she found. On her adventure, she found salt, salt, oh and more salt, and sometimes the occasional crystal fox things. They didn’t really care for her existence and she simply kept walking, not wanting to be a bother to the natural inhabitants of the planet.

            She turned a few more corners until she found herself face to face with a large wall of rocks; there must have been a cave in she had come to realize. There was light trickling in from cracks within the formation. There was something peaceful about Crait, she realized. Something about being around all this oh-so-very-exciting salt and the natural formation of the mines, it was actually quite beautiful.

            The serenity of it all would immediately end, however, when Ash felt the familiar presence of two negative beings wander closer. “Told you I could find her.” The deep voice said smugly.

            “Well, you have that whole Force thing.” Poe retorted with the same dry tone.

Ash sighed, she was trapped. She had nowhere to run now and knew as much as she turned to face the two men that approached her. To her surprise, however, they hadn’t killed each other. “Have you come to apologize?” She asked dryly, clearly not expecting them to.

            “Yes, actually.” Ren informed her, his brow quirking as he watched the expression on Ashlyn’s face go from disinterested to shocked in a matter of seconds. “What, we can’t apologize?”

            She blinked a few times, her eyes darting from the other Force User, to the pilot and back again as she waited for some cruel trick to tell her their intentions were disingenuous. “Really?”

            “We’ve agreed to work together without killing each other.” Poe added. “There’s too much going on and even though we wish we didn’t have to, we have no choice in the matter but to work together. I’m sorry for the way I acted.”

            Ash smiled, looking over at Kylo Ren, waiting for his apology. He looked at her, then to Poe, then back at her. “I’m not sorry for what I did.” Poe sighed as Ash’s smile dropped. “But I’m sorry for upsetting you and--” He inhaled deeply, as though saying the next sentence would ultimately kill him. It didn’t. “I’ll work with the pilot.”

            Ash frowned. “His name is Poe.”

“Sure.” Ren was short with her.

            This was the closest she’d get to a resolution, she realized. As long as the two worked together and not kill each other; that was all she could ask for. However, she couldn’t help but feel like this headache wasn’t truly over, especially when Kylo Ren wrapped his arm around her waist and pulled her close to him. He was doing this not just because he loved her, but to be possessive. Poe saw right through that as well and simply rolled his eyes at the gesture before heading back from where he came. “We need to regroup with everyone.” He informed them flatly.

            Ash pulled back from Kylo Ren, still clearly angry with him. “I said I’d work with him.”

“And I appreciate that.” Ash explained. “But you don’t need to go all _dominant_ _species_ now. I’m your wife, you’ve won. He doesn’t need to be reminded of that.”

            Ren’s face remained unchanged. “You know I don’t like to share you.”

“You’re not sharing me; I’m yours. You just need to control your jealousy and let Poe be near me without this display of--” She tried to find the word. “Whatever it is you’re doing.” She reached forward, grabbing his hand and holding it within hers. “I’m just as much yours as you are mine and nothing is going to change that, okay?”

            His lips unwillingly tugged upward as he leaned forward and kissed her lovingly. “I’m sorry--” He meant it and while he didn’t say specifically what he was sorry for, Ash took it to mean he was sorry for all of it. Even what he had done to Poe.

            “Good.” She beamed. “Now let’s go follow him out of this mine. I’m getting sick of being here.”

            Ren chuckled, the two leaving the dead end and following after Poe, but still keeping a good distance from the pilot. “You know he threatened me?” Ren mused.

            “Did he?”

“Another person who thinks I’m not good for you. Shall I start keeping a list?”

            It took everything in Ash to not roll her eyes at him. “Behave yourself, Ben Solo.”

He glared. “Who said you can start calling me that?”

            “You did when you made me your wife.” She replied smugly with a mischievous grin as she walked a little faster now, leaving behind a smirking Kylo Ren as he shook his head in disbelief.

 


	53. Understanding

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things seem to be... okay. For now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys. I'm so, so, so, so sorry for the long wait between chapters. Life has been getting in the way, as it always tends to do, and it's be pretty bleh lately. I'm sorry that that's gotten in the way of posting. Typically writing this story keeps me happy and your continued love and support really brings out the best in this story and my writing. So thank you all so much for continuing to do so while I was gone for a week. You guys are amazing. Thank you so much. I really can't express how much I appreciate it. 
> 
> I'm also sorry for the short filler chapter and that I came back with that and not a crazy awesome one. I suck apparently.

 

* * *

 

            The pilot, the mechanic and the leader of the Ascension wandered into the newly established meeting area where the General, the Master, the Light User and the ex-Trooper were meeting; there was a silence. Everyone held their breath waiting to see what would become of the chaos that had seemingly been subdued for now. With bated breath, they stared in silence, only to have Kylo Ren roll his eyes and scoff. “Look, didn’t kill him. Wonderful, we’re all friends now. Can we **_please_** finish what we came to do?”

            Before any snarkier comments were said; Ash spoke. “We need to go to Cularin; we are starting to run out of time.” They all knew that; Ash was simply restating the facts. “We leave today, in the meantime, I need Master Skywalker to find us anything on the other stones. The rest of you need to build up, reach out to any sympathizers to our cause. We need to be in contact with the Ascension at all times, they’re on our side too and we need all the help we can get.”

            Leia smiled; a sense of pride coming over her in the sudden authoritative position Ash was taking. “We will do what we can here.” She looked to her son, a sense of reluctance coming from her as she reached out to him for his assistance. “Put us in contact with the Ascension again. I want to speak with your commanding officers directly.”

            Ren smirked knowingly. “Hux will love that.” He muttered.

“Wait--” Poe chimed in. “General Hux is your commanding officer?” He knew the man well, at least, well enough to know he didn’t like him. Granted, a lot of the dislike was mutual for both parties. However, for different reasons. “Who else left the First Order?”

            Ren thought for a moment. “Let’s see--” He began. “Phasma, Mitaka--” He would have continued; however, Finn’s jaw had dropped. Ren frowned at the reaction before realizing the scenario before him. “Right, you’re one of our traitors. You know Phasma.”

            “That’s an odd way of putting it all things considered…” Finn chided; that moment of recognition over Phasma and his past dealings with the First Order were not so easily forgotten.

            Ash ignored the side conversation between Ren and Finn and continued addressing the rest of the group that would listen. “I know a few freelance people on Lothal; they were my maintenance team; they’re like family. I’m sure they’d be all for going against the First Order.” She was willing to give Laynor and the rest of the crew a chance at being something more. She knew they didn’t care for the dealings of the galactic order, however, she also knew the First Order would take them down once they ultimately took over. Everyone that wasn’t fully aligned with them was doomed to fall.

            “We will contact them as well.” Leia confirmed willingly.

Her attention returned to Luke. “I don’t know how to even begin with what you need to do.”

            Luke smiled slightly. “I have my ways of getting information. Don’t worry about me.”

Ash returned the small smile as she looked at Rey. “Are you ready to leave? We have to move while we can.”

            “Chewie had some important maintenance jobs to complete on the Falcon--”

“Oh no.” Ren interjected; receiving death glares from Rey and Ashlyn. “We are not taking that piece of junk.”

            “We are taking the piece of junk.” Ash insisted.

“It’s not junk.” Rey argued.

            Kylo Ren laughed sarcastically. “Oh, it’s a piece of junk. Han Solo may have taken care of it all these years, but that ship is garbage.”

            “He clearly put more care into the Falcon than you.” Rey muttered as Kylo Ren clenched his fists, ready to start another war with the Resistance as Ash jumped in the middle.

            “We are taking the Falcon.” She said sternly to the man in black; her five feet of fury made for such an intimidating sight. A cute sight, but intimidating nonetheless. Kylo Ren glared at her, internally he knew there was no argument here. They were taking the Falcon whether he liked it or not. However, that didn’t mean he couldn’t make things difficult in the process. “I’ll help Chewie with some of the work that needs to be done.” Although, she didn’t know what she was in for. Her tone lightened however, as she spoke to Kylo Ren softly; almost pleadingly. “Please contact Hux and Phasma for us.”

            The glare faded to more of an aggravated look as he relinquished. “Take me to the hub.”

The group was beginning to find some traction after such a rocky start. Leia, Poe and Kylo Ren ventured back to the debriefing room where one of the communication hubs resided. This left the remaining group; well, minus Skywalker. He left the room without an explanation, something Ash found rather odd. Now wasn’t the time to object to it, however. She had more important things to worry about.

            Ash followed Finn and Rey to where the Falcon resided, the trio starting up the ramp as they entered the rather broken-down ship as Rey decided now was as good as any of a time to warn Ash of Chewbacca. “He’s really protective of the ship.” She mentioned. “Don’t get upset if he doesn’t let you help.”

            The red-haired girl frowned. “I get that, it’s a territorial thing but--” Her eyes went wide as she noticed the internal damage as well as the little round, big eyed creatures squawking as they chomped on a few wires and metal frames. “You’ve got to be kidding…” She stared in astonishment at the little creatures she once found adorable. “How did Porgs get on the ship?”

Rey scowled at the creatures. “They chewed their way in.”

“These things are nightmare fuel.” Finn muttered as he walked over towards one and grabbed it tightly in his hands, keeping it from escaping. “They keep multiplying too. We thought we found them all the first time and there’s still more.”

            “Well, regardless if Chewie wants my help or not… he’s going to need it. These guys are eating the interior faster than he realizes.” Ash informed them as the large, seven-foot Wookie emerged from somewhere within the ship.

            He looked at the new Porg threat and groaned angrily. “What did he say?” Finn asked quietly.

            “It’s not polite for common ears…” Rey said, receiving a chuckle from Ash. “Chewbacca, Ash is here to help you.” He roared again as he chased after the Porgs, scattering them. “It’s better to let her help while Finn and I remove the Porgs.”

            Chewie roared again; Ash’s eyes narrowed at the insult. “I’m a damn good mechanic, thank you very much.” Another groan. “Excuse me? Just because he’s my husband--” A louder roar. Right, Chewbacca didn’t know. Ash grimaced. “Yes, we got married.” Chewie shook his head. He liked Ash; he didn’t like Kylo Ren. Even after their moment of understanding, he still didn’t care very much for his best friend’s son. Not after all that had happened. “No, I’m not pregnant.” She looked back at Rey and Finn. “Why does everyone assume that?” They simply shrugged without an answer. She turned back to Chewbacca, putting her metaphorical foot down as she did. “Listen, we have to get this ship up and running… like now. You need help and I can do it. So?”

            With sheer reluctance, Chewbacca finally gave in and nodded to Ash. She beamed victoriously as she followed Chewbacca to some of the broken items on the ship that desperately needed some TLC after the Porgs got to it, while Finn and Rey tried to get rid of the new wave of Porgs once more.

         

* * *

  

 

 

            Chewbacca wasn’t the only one on base doing something he didn’t really want to do, but knowing he had no choice in the matter. Kylo Ren stood at the communication hub, entering the coordinates for the Ascension. Ash had asked him to do this, otherwise, he’d be kicking and screaming and finding any and all reason not to. He also wished he didn’t have to do this with the pilot around. He still despised the man and once the galaxy was his… well… maybe he could send him off on a one-way mission to a nearby sun. Ash couldn’t be mad if an accident happened, right?

            The connection came through; Hux knew who was contacting them, at least, he knew it was a signal coming from the Resistance. “Well, this is a surprise.” His voice devoid of any emotion but utter dryness that could make even the deserts of Jakku have more emotional connection.

            “Hux--” Okay, he hadn’t been expecting Ren on the other line. “I’m making the connection between the Ascension and the Resistance. I have General Organa here along with...” He glared at Poe. “What do you do here again?”

            Poe rolled his eyes, sighing aggravatedly. “Commander Poe Dameron.”

“You brought your Mother and a pilot to make contact with me, Ren?” Hux quipped.

            “One of them is an excellent negotiator.” Ren retorted right back; Poe clearly becoming more and more annoyed.

Leia was ending this battle before it ever began. “General Hux, we are reaching out to you because we know of your current standing and with the help of your Leader we are coming together. Now, while I have my reservations of this alignment, I must do what’s best for the people and the galaxy as a whole. The galaxy is in chaos and we need to work together going forward if we want to get any traction. Is that something you can do?”

            Hux was also quite the smoothtalker. While Leia wasn’t exactly enthralled with him; she had to admit he had a way of presenting himself. “General Organa, it would be my pleasure to join you in removing the current controlling powers of the galaxy and creating a better tomorrow.” That did not go without a very dramatic eye roll from Kylo Ren; for once Poe Dameron agreed with the former Commander of the First Order’s actions.

            “Behave yourself, Hux.” Ren said somewhat dryly. “While she is the General of the Resistance, she is also my mother and she will also not tolerate your bullshit.” Poe Dameron actually smirked then at Kylo Ren’s quip. Sure, he was an asshole, but when he wasn’t being an asshole to him, he was rather amusing.

            “Noted.” Hux replied.

“I’ll leave you both to set your terms.” Ren said in all finality. “I have to get to Cularin.” He nodded to Leia, whom barely nodded back. Yet, something in her eyes that Kylo Ren couldn’t help but notice and feel, she was counting on him. A weight that was just as awful as the one that Ashlyn put on his shoulders. People were counting on him; granted only two of those people actually mattered in some space. The fact of the matter was… Kylo Ren was actually somewhat important to the cause now and his failure was their failure.

            That overwhelming sense of purpose, however, faded quickly when he unfortunately looked at Poe. “Good luck.” He said, trying to be cordial.

            Kylo Ren wasn’t having any of that as he scoffed. “I don’t believe in luck, pilot.” His tone smug as he smirked. “I make my own.”

            As Kylo Ren left the room, Poe locked eyes with Leia, whom had a small reluctant smile on her lips. “He is too much like his father sometimes.”

            “Han Solo would have never been that annoying.” Poe quipped.

“You’d be surprised.” Leia mused before returning her attention to the hub. “Now, where were we, General?”

            “I believe we were about to make our terms known.” Hux added; this was where he’d play his game and try for the advantage. While he didn’t want things to turn violent (and in also promising a certain red-haired girl they wouldn’t), he still needed some advantage on this playing field. It was a habit of his to do so. It also has kept him, Phasma and of course, Kylo Ren alive for so long.

           

       

* * *

    

           

            When Kylo Ren stomped onto the Falcon, he was expecting a wide variety of things from everything running smoothly to everything being a chaotic mess. It was, unfortunately, the latter as he watched the scene play out before him. Finn was holding three Porgs tightly in his arms while Rey was chasing another two. She stopped short, looking up at the amused and also very confused expression on Kylo Ren’s face as she yelled. “Help us!”

            Amateur Force Users were quite a disgusting thing, in his mind at least. They had no idea the things they were capable of and it was quite clear within Rey, that she didn’t. With an eye roll and a wave of his hand, Kylo Ren stopped the running Porgs in their tracks. “Why are these vermin on the ship?” He was afraid to have asked that question.

            “They managed to sneak on board, we had no idea they did until we were already halfway here.” Rey informed him as she plucked the remaining Porgs up into her arms.

            “And they multiplied.” Finn added.

Ren’s brow quirked upward. “So, I see.” His attention turned to the rest of the ship, noticing the eerie quiet that lurked behind the massive chaos that had played out before him. “Where is my wife?”

            Rey still had very mixed feelings over their union. It was a mixture of how sudden it had been, along with not finding out from Ash, but during an argument she was witnessing. She also still really, really hated Kylo Ren and really, really loved Ashlyn. It wasn’t a good mix in Rey’s mind. “She’s helping Chewie fix some of the damage from the Porgs.”

            Without saying much more, Kylo Ren stepped around the scene before him and headed deeper into the ship. He could sense her and for the first time since their arrival on Crait, she was relaxed. It was a nice feeling; while he didn’t exactly do much to help her relax and was quite possibly the direct cause of her aggravation, it still made him feel at ease knowing she was calm.

            He found Ash and Chewbacca in the cockpit of the shit, Ash had pulled apart a few panels to get into some of the more interior and least taken care of parts. Chewbacca looked like he was about to have a heart attack over Ash’s adventurous means of repairing things. It also didn’t help the Wookie’s nerves when the other Force User entered the cockpit.

            A groan and a furry fist, shaking a wrench at Kylo Ren, he got the gist of where this was going. Ren raised his hands defensively. “I just came to see how things were going, considering we need to leave sooner rather than later.”

            Ash was still looking into the panel, her hands reaching as far in as they could go; pulling and repairing different wires. “We found out the ships’ hyperdrive and internal navigation unit was completely on the fritz; damn Porgs got to it.”

            “And here I thought you liked Porgs.” Ren teased.

She looked over at him, sticking her tongue out playfully before returning her attention to the wires. “I tend to not like things the more annoying they get.”

            He snorted. “Was that a quip against me?” He looked at Chewbacca, whom shrugged knowingly. Ash was simply smirking in reply. “Starshine, I promised I’d play nice and I did.”

            “I know; I just-- damn it.” She frowned, looking into the internal compartment and sighing. “My arms don’t reach far enough.”

            Kylo Ren came closer, ignoring the death glare from the Wookie as he looked into the panel to see what Ash was talking about. “They just need to connect?” He asked, receiving a quiet hum from Ash. He nodded, removing his gloves and tossing them onto the pilot seat. Chewie whined in protest. “I know, I know, I break it; you’ll break my arms.” Ren quipped dryly as he reached his arms into the panel and began to assemble the wires Ash couldn’t reach.

            “Did you see how the Porg issue was coming along?” Ash asked, stretching lazily as she stood next to her much taller than her husband.

            “Oh, you didn’t hear the commotion?” He was clearly not serious. There was no way Ash couldn’t have heard it.

            Ash chuckled, sharing a knowing look with Chewbacca before looking back at Ren. “That’s why I asked. From what we heard, it sounded like the Porgs were winning.”

            “They were.” He connected the remaining wires; he pulled himself out of the panel, looking at Ash victorious as he grinned. “Until I showed up.”

            She frowned playfully. “Well, look at you saving the day.” Her attention turned to the inner workings to see Kylo Ren’s work; after a quick examination, she nodded in approval. “Alright, looks like we’re back in business. Chewie, check that the navigation systems are back online.” Chewie did what he was told; his large paws fiddling with the main console until the green light came on the navigation port. He roared excitedly. Ash smiled. “See, told you I could fix it.” She was teasing, but also just a tad smug about it.

            Kylo Ren nodded approvingly as he watched Ash begin to reattach the panel cover. “When can we leave?”

“As soon as the main hub is clear of Porgs, we can go.” She informed him with a grin.

           Kylo Ren looked to Chewie, his eyes narrowing slightly as he asked. “I assume you’re coming too?” Chewie roared. “Figured.” With a sigh, he turned to walk out of the cockpit. “I’ll check on the Porg patrol.”

           “Thank you!” Ash called after him as Kylo Ren ventured to the main hub. Chewbacca whined again; Ash laughed. “He’s not all bad.” Another whine and another laugh. “Okay, he can be really annoying. I’ll give you that. I promise though, he’s here for good. He won’t betray us.” Chewie moaned more seriously this time as Ash finished screwing in the panel. “I know what he’s done. He knows what his actions have done to everyone… and I truly believe somewhere, deep down--” She laughed nervously. “Okay, **_really_** deep down, he regrets it.” Chewie snorted. “Trust me on this.” She smiled. “I know my husband.” But did she really? Although she would never show it outwardly, there was always that doubt lingering in the back of her mind when it came to Kylo Ren and his many, **_many_** secrets.

 

* * *

 

            In the darkest depths of space; all was quiet say for the hum of the low, grumbling engines of the Finalizer. Espen Damar sat alone in General Hux’s old office; a much larger version than the one on StarKiller. Although, Damar hadn’t had the pleasure of taking that over from him as well, the Resistance did that on their own.

            With a cup of tea that was still steaming as it sat on the desk, Damar sat back in the General’s chair; his hands gripping the leather tightly before releasing it all together. In front of him; a hologram of Hux’s file. He had begrudgingly read it thousands of times since the uprising, hoping to find some sort of clues, some answer as to how this all happened so smoothly. How long had this been planned?

            His brows knitted together as his jaw locked tightly; Damar shifted to the next hologram of Captain Phasma. The woman who managed to stop him at every turn, preventing him from getting closer to the truth. He hated her almost as much as he hated Hux.

            Hux had beat him in almost every possible way he could have. From coming out of the academy as head of his class, to rising in the ranks without much struggle, controlling StarKiller; he had it all. Certainly, a lot of it had to do with his name. At least, that’s what Damar wanted to believe. He knew better, however. Hux was conniving. He knew exactly how to play this game, almost as well as the next hologram that appeared.

            Commander Kylo Ren. The biggest thorn in his side. He was dangerous in so many ways. He was strong with the Force, one of the only people in the galaxy who could cause such an upset (which he did) and brilliant. He was always one step ahead; combine that with Hux, the two were a deadly force to be reckoned with. Something Damar learned the hard way.

            If only he had power; if only Snoke had trusted him sooner. He could have proven where their allegiance truly lied; he knew they were up to no good. Now, here he was, with a splitting headache as he tried to decipher where the group had disappeared to. What their next plan of action was. He had no leads, he had nothing. Absolutely nothing.

            Angrily, he slammed his fist down on the console. The hologram changed to another file. A different file. The red-haired girl that played just as much of a part in this as the others. The girl that bewitched Kylo Ren. She was his weakness; the power she had over him was immeasurable. A gift should Damar ever get his hands on her, he would have Kylo Ren at his front door, ready for a fight. Suddenly, Damar understood what he needed to do. If he wanted Kylo Ren, he’d have to take down Ashlyn Novafall.

        He grinned wickedly, his next target would be Lothal. Unlike the others, Ashlyn had a conscious. She was weak when it came to sentiment; something Snoke had informed him of. He was going to use that against her, and he’d start by destroying anything and everything Ashlyn had left, until she came out of hiding. When she did; he’d strike.

 


	54. Trip to Cularin

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kylo Ren seizes a moment to get the upper hand in any situation possible. Ash is still having nightmares about the potential outcomes. Rey finds herself unsure of a lot of things.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Can we just talk about how this story has like... 400 comments, almost 400 kudos. I'm just... I'm beyond words. I am so thankful for you guys. Seriously. I really am. 
> 
> I hope you guys continue to enjoy this story and I hope I can write the best damn story for y'all because you guys really deserve nothing but the best.

* * *

 

_It was happening again, in almost every similar detail except something seemed so unfamiliar about it. She was standing in the Throne Room of the Supremacy once more; another out of body experience as she watched the scene play out. Snoke was dead; his body lying on the floor like a rag doll. This time however was different; she saw herself walking forward to the Throne, and sitting on it was Kylo Ren._

_“How could you do this?!” Ash’s double yelled, he didn’t move. “This isn’t how it’s supposed to go!” That was when Ash saw Rey’s limp body on the ground. They had fought, it was clear with the lightsaber burn through her chest._

_“This was **always** how it was supposed to go, Starshine.” Ren replied. “It’s you and me now; to change the galaxy how we see fit. Think of the good we can accomplish.”_

_The other Ash shook her head. “I can only think of the bad…”_

_“Starshine--” He said, Ash felt her stomach clench. She had never expected to ever feel so disgusted hearing that term of endearment._

_Ash’s lightsaber quickly ignited, she held it tightly in her hands. “I can’t let you do this.”_

_Kylo Ren sat up as close to the edge of the throne as possible; his eyes darkening and completely covered black as he glared. “If you’re not with me… then you’re against me.” It was one final warning and Ash knew that. Yet, the other Ash before her stood her ground; clutching the lightsaber as Kylo Ren stood from the throne, his saber unleashing with fury and power as it cackled and hissed. The echo bouncing off the high walls of the throne room as they stared each other down for a moment longer before the fight began._

_Back and forth, the lightsabers clashed and groaned as they connected. The amber and red blades intertwining as the Force Users fought against each other; meaning to kill one another. The two Force Users whom had been so very in love not moments before, the same Force Users who would do anything for one another… but not this. Not where this horrific nightmare took Ash as she watched their blades dance in the cold Throne Room where only death lied. The bodies of Rey, Snoke and guards dressed in red scattered around them; soon to add another one to the pile of carnage in his wake._

_It came quickly and Ash could feel it resonate through her entire being as she watched Kylo Ren cut down the other Ashlyn. She fell to her knees as Kylo Ren pulled back with his saber; a matching hole in her chest, like Rey’s. It was over… he had won. No, not Kylo Ren. In some awful capacity, even though he was gone… Snoke had won._        

 

* * *

 

               Ash lifted her head; gasping for air as her lungs begged for some stability that wasn’t there as she heaved. She looked around at her surroundings, noticing she had dozed off in the cabin of the Millenium Falcon. Another nightmare, another outcome where only death lied in their wake. Snoke was right; there were so many paths in which this could go wrong and, in each path, they died. The triangle; two always died, leaving one-point left. The Dark, the Light and the Grey; unable to exist cohesively in her nightmares. They were unbalanced. This only showed Ash that everything was a failure on her part. If she couldn’t bring them balance; they were destined to die.

              Anakin had promised her there was one outcome that he had been hopeful for. Yet, Ash couldn’t find a way to it. In a vast ocean of possibilities, only one could give them the sanity and safety they needed. Yet, it seemed impossible.

             So, Ash did the only thing she could think of to distract herself… find something to fix. Her obsession took her to the main pulse cannon below the ship, a place where she could hide and be alone for a while. A place to keep her thoughts in check as she messed with the calibration of the laser weapon.

* * *

 

             Rey was reluctant to leave Finn behind on Crait, she wanted him with her during all this, yet she knew this was something she had to do alone. Well, something she had to do with Ashlyn and Kylo Ren. Even though she would have loved the comfort of having him around, she couldn’t put Finn in that sort of danger. A danger she only had confirmed to her when she felt the agony coming from within the ship. Ash had been dreaming; a nightmare that Rey could feel from every part of her. For the first time since Ash and Kylo Ren stumbled onto Ahch-To, Rey began to doubt the success of this mission.

              She sat in the main common area of the Falcon, cleaning the blaster than Han Solo had given her; an action that felt like it had happened so very long ago. It might as well had been, so much had gone on between that moment and now. So much had changed, and a lot was weighing down on not just her, but the other Force Users as well.

            As if on cue, Kylo Ren stomped into the common area, not noticing Rey at first. He was tense; although Rey wasn’t certain if he could be anything but tense. He never seemed relaxed, just always alert.

            It took a moment for Ren to realize he wasn’t alone, his shoulders dropping as he ran his hand through his dark locks. His hair falling perfectly in place again as he turned on his heels to face the scavenger where she sat in the corner. “You felt it too?” Rey made a face, unsure what he had meant at first. “Her dream.” He clarified irritably. Rey admitted to nothing, though she didn’t have to. Her eyes gave her away. Kylo Ren stalked over to her, standing at the chair across from where she sat and looked at it. Rey nodded only once, giving him permission to sit; he took the opportunity and did so.

             Kylo Ren was an opportunist. He took whatever shot he could at getting the upper hand, even if it meant dealing with someone he particularly did not care for. Rey was someone he absolutely despised with the utmost contempt. However, he needed her to cooperate. “How long has she been seeing…” Rey paused, unable to find the proper word for it. “ ** _That_**?”

            “Long enough.” He mumbled. “It’s not set in stone, what she sees is only a glimpse into the ‘what if’. Can’t say it doesn’t bring morale down, though.” He joked dryly. Rey didn’t laugh.

              “So, she constantly sees us failing?”

Ren’s lips pursed as he stared at Rey, trying to see through her as best he could without giving himself away too much. “So far, yes.”

            Rey nodded, looking down at her blaster on the table. The reminder of what she had lost radiated from it, yet, there was also the feeling of what she had gained, too. “In her dream--” She began, her eyes still scanning over the small blaster. Not knowing what she would do with it if the circumstance ever came up where she’d need to use it. Especially on him. The divisive thought in her mind over what could happen if she **_did_** end this now; ridding the galaxy of Kylo Ren. Would things be easier or far worse? There was also the prophecy to think about and, of course, Ashlyn. “You tried to take the Throne.” She looked back up at Kylo Ren, an intensity in her stare as she spoke accusingly. “Is that your plan?”

            Kylo Ren frowned. “Not with such extremity.” His stated flatly as he sat back in the chair. Now, Rey wished he had still been tense. Something in the way he sat; the relaxation in his figure, it worried her. And it should have. However, unlike Ash who knew Kylo Ren just enough to catch these things, Rey did not see what was coming for her. “I’m going to let you in on a secret, scavenger.” She frowned at his name for her. “While I do plan to take Snoke’s place, it’s not meant to be anywhere close to the same manner as what he’s done to the Galaxy. Unlike him, I plan to work with an ordered government to help shift the galaxy to its next stage in politics. A better means to create a just and orderly system. General Organa will help me do so in order to prevent any sort of power going to my head.”

            The last part was meant to ease Rey’s very blatant concern. It didn’t. He knew that too. “You’re going to take over the galaxy?”

            He rolled his eyes. “No, are you even listening?” He retorted. “I’m going to lead it to a new age in government rulings. There won’t be one person in play to decide the fate, but many. However, I want control in resetting what has been placed before us. Considering, all previous efforts have been all but failures.”

            “And where did this passion for politics come to play?”

“When I consistently watched the failures of the governing powers. Now, i know you lived on the outskirts of the governing body jurisdiction, however, you know better than anyone else the state of planets that suffered from that neglect. The war profiteering; syphoning parts from ships to sell to the highest bidder for more weaponry.” He leaned forward again, his arms were resting on the table. “Personally, I’m tired of corruption. Aren’t you?”

            He had a point. Rey did see the terrible side of the galaxy and what it had done. The lack of governing powers; the consistent neglect on planets like Jakku. It was left in chaos, and it was done so to benefit those who could profit from it. However, this revelation only left one other question. A question she needed answered, she needed to know where this plan lead to and who she could trust within it. “Does Ash know?” The need for a certainty that what he was telling her was in good faith and not for ill. However, his expression told her otherwise, at least when it concerned Ash. “She doesn’t even know?” She asked incredulously.

            “Here’s the part where I need you to not think of Ash as your friend, but as the prophecy as a whole.” Ren began, drawing an invisible triangle on the table with his finger. “You are strong with the Light; stronger than I could ever wish to be. You have the Force within you that made you this way. You know it; you feel it. It’s ever-flowing within you. You are Light incarnate.” His finger trailed to the other point he had made on the triangle. “I’m powerful within the Dark.” He explained. “Stronger than you’ll ever know and I’m Darkness incarnate.” He repeated as he went to the last point. “We will never be as strong as each other. You will always be stronger with the attributes of the Light and I will be in the Darkness. It’s how things work.” He smirked slightly, his finger tracing lazily and yet, somewhat fondly over the last point. “And then, there’s our precious Grey User.” He looked at Rey now. “Ash is something a hell-of-a-lot more powerful than we could ever fathom. And luckily for us, she doesn’t realize it.”

            Rey stared at the invisible point, her frown returning as she looked at Ren now. “How do you mean?”

            “She has the ability to completely destroy this mission or have us succeed. She’s the balance between Light and Dark. We cannot possibly work together in any capacity without her. It’s not possible. This is how things have been and will continue to be even after we’re gone. There will always be Light, Dark and the Grey to keep us all together. While, the Grey is usually never needed until things get bad; it’s the glue that holds the Force together.”

            Rey licked her licks; nervous at what Kylo Ren could be getting at. “This doesn’t explain why you haven’t told her.”

            “I’m getting there, scavenger.” He spat. “Ash also has the biggest weakness of the three of us. With great power comes a great consequence. She, unlike the two of us, can be so easily swayed out of the Grey balance. If she is swayed, even in the tiniest of ways, to one side, we will fail. We cannot do this without her, she cannot use the stone made for the Grey user, and all of this will be for nothing.”

            Rey suddenly caught on. “You’re afraid if you tell her--”

Kylo Ren interrupted her. “She’ll be swayed from the Grey. If she knows the full plan, this could all backfire. Which is why I have not told her anything more than what she needs to know and will continue to keep it a secret until after our fight with Snoke.”

            Rey shook her head; she was angry now. She was angry for a multitude of reason, but one thing in particular stood out. How dare he give her this responsibility of knowing this plan? She now had something to hide from Ashlyn, something she never wanted to do. “Now you expect me to keep this quiet; to keep your little charade up and hide it from her?”

            “Only until this is over.” Ren reminded her. “Once it’s over, you can all be mad at me.” He said sarcastically. “You know I’m right; I know you feel it. If we lose Ash to either side, we lose everything. What’s worse? A secret that will eventually come to light, or losing everything to Snoke and the darkest depths of the galaxy?” He had her. He knew he did. The Light Users were always so predictable in their ways; always wanting to do things for the greater good and never taking the risk of anything but that. She didn’t have to agree with him, but he knew she wouldn’t say anything.

            “If this turns out to be false.” Rey began; her tone low. “If you end up being just like him… I won’t hesitate to kill you.”

            Ren smirked, removing himself from the table as he looked down at the scavenger. “You and everyone else.” Without another word, Kylo Ren left Rey to sit and let it all sink in. The weight of the responsibility in keeping a secret from Ash. It was a lot. A burden she now had to endure along with Kylo Ren and anyone else that knew.

 

           

* * *

 

 

            Kylo Ren had been right about one thing, his Mother was a helluva negotiator. It was actually rather stimulating for Armitage Hux, finally, he was speaking to someone who was more of an equal on every level. Instead of the typical drabble that he normally dealt with. However, he was now exhausted from the whole ordeal. Leia Organa left no stone unturned; she was prepared for any and every question and asked a million of her own. She was dedicated in the safety of her people as well as the integrity of the Galaxy. It was admirable, to say the least.

            Hux wandered to his quarters on the destroyer, half-expecting the blond-haired woman lounging on his couch as he walked in. “Phasma, dear. If we’re going to be keeping up appearances, you’ll eventually have to return to your own quarters.” He was smirking; so was she.

            “I’ve been in and out of there all day, Armitage.” Only Phasma got away with calling him by his first name. “However, I’m here out of curiosity.” She explained as Hux wandered to the couch and plopped down next to her. “How did the meeting go?”

            Hux let out an airy chuckle at his companion’s eagerness for information. “We have come to the agreement of working together. Our terms have been set and we will need to move closer to Crait. However, we are not to get too close, but in range should there be an attack.”

            “And will they assist in the overall uprising?” Phasma asked, receiving silence at first from Hux as he pursed his lips. “Are they not with us for changing governments?”

            “As far as I know, Ren has only begun to discuss this with General Organa.” Hux explained casually. “A much more lengthier discussion is in the future. However, from my understanding, that’s something neither one of them wish to get into full detail over until the task has been completed. “

            “And what of Ren and Ashlyn?” Phasma asked.

“They’re on their way to Cularin with the scavenger girl. The first stone should hopefully be theirs soon. Once they complete that task they will need to find the remaining two stones.” He changed the matter to a completely different one then. “I was informed our **_friends_** are on the move?”

            Phasma frowned. “Scouts have come back with information that Damar is up to something. What that is, I’m unsure of just yet. However, they are preparing for something.”

            “Keep an eye on them. I want full surveillance on their every move.” Hux commanded. “Do you think they know about Cularin?”

            Phasma shook her head. “Our sources pinned them moving somewhere else. From what I believe, they have no knowledge of where our Force Users are going.”

            Hux nodded. “Have someone follow Ren, as well.” He decided. “It’s better to keep tabs on him.”

            Phasma smirked, silently agreeing with that sentiment. Without someone monitoring the ever-impulsive Leader, a whole mess of things could happen. At least, they were both aware of that little fact.

 

* * *

 

            There was nothing better than sitting in a glass dome, surrounded by space. At least, not in that moment, according to Ashlyn. She sat in the main cannon hull, staring outward at the millions of stars surrounding the Falcon. She’d have to remember this spot for the next time things were awful. Assumingly, they’d continue to do so all things considered.

            “Starshine?” He called to her from the top of the ladder. Ash looked upward, seeing his amused expression as he stared back. “What are you doing?”

            Ash shrugged. “Oh, you know. Fixing stuff.” She was only half-lying. She really did work on the weapon in front of her. Even if for only a little while.

            He knew better; of course, he did. That was his wife, he knew her better than she realized. She was hiding away after her nightmare. She was also hiding away from confronting **_him_** over what she saw. Sometimes, it was better to avoid it and keep the peace that way. Her admired her for her constant struggle in trying to protect ever. Though, he knew it was a foolish effort. Valiant, but foolish. “Well, you’re done **_fixing stuff_**.” He teased. “Come up here, we’re almost at Cularin.” With a sigh, Ash pulled herself from the chair and began to ascend the ladder up to the main area of the Falcon. Once she reached the top, he was standing there waiting for her.

            Ash looked up at him, the two locking eyes for a moment before she knowingly grinned. “I think you really want me up here so you can make fun of the stupid face I make when I see a new planet for the first time.”

            He smirked, leaning down to kiss her forehead lovingly. “Actually, we have a few things to go over with the scavenger about our mission.” He explained as he pulled back from her; shrugging slightly. “And maybe I like seeing your ‘ _stupid face_ ’ when you see a new planet.”

            She playfully swatted at his arm, he backed away just enough where she missed him. Grinning wickedly, he backed away again as she tried to hit him again. He turned on his heels and made quick strides back down the hallway as Ash ran after him. She caught up to him, walking next to him as he wrapped his arm around her shoulders, pulling her tightly to his side as they walked to the common area. “You’re the absolute worst.” She didn’t mean it.

            “I know.” Ren’s tone light as they walked. “But you married me.” He reminded her dutifully.

            She blushed ever-so-slightly. An idea the two were still not used to and secretly still giddy about on the inside. “I did.” Her grin turning a little more mischievous as she retorted. “Still not sure if it was my best idea.” Ren wrapped his arm around her head, pulling it to his chest as he kissed the top of her head multiple times. Her laughs muffled as her head rested in his chest. She pulled away; still laughing. “I’m kidding!”

            He only smiled in reply as they kept walk. Something in his smile, however, was intoxicating to Ashlyn. It was a smile of content, a smile of a happiness that she didn’t see so much with him. Except maybe a few times, like when they got married. It was a smile that reminded her of the person that was hiding deep down inside the typically angry man she married. A part of him that was dormant and yet, so very present when the two were together. A happiness she only wished she could give him for the rest of his days.

            The two entered the common area where Rey had been; Ren was almost shocked that she hadn’t moved after their little discussion. She offered a half-smile towards Ashlyn as the red-haired girl walked over to where Rey had been sitting and scooted down next to her. She placed her head on her shoulder in an attempt to make her smile just a little bit more. She reluctantly did as she rested her head against Ash’s.

            That twinge of jealousy returned to Kylo Ren as he watched their display of friendly affection. A bond created in friendship, understanding and companionship. Even though he had something much more with Ashlyn, he couldn’t help but hate whenever someone else got close to his girl. It was safe to say that Kylo Ren was quite the possessive son-of-a-bitch. “We have to go over the plan once we arrive.” Ren said, sitting down across from them as the two girls sat up straight again, patiently (sort-of) awaiting the details on their mission. “While it’s unclear where the stone is located; The legend states it was hidden beneath a tree.”

            “And if it’s not?” Rey asked.

“Yeah, what if it’s in plain sight, like in a village or on display in the local museum?” Ash added, noticing Rey began to grin at her sarcastic suggestion.

            Kylo Ren rolled his eyes. “It’s not. It’s under the Ch’hala tree. A sacred tree to the Tarasin’s”

Rey made a face. “A sacred tree?”

Ash’s eyes went wide when she caught on. “We are destroying a sacred tree?!”

“Will you two relax?” He hissed. “We are going to try and dig around it if we can.”

“We’re still disturbing a sacred tree.” Rey concluded. “That’s not going to bode well for us.”

            Ren was clearly not having their _righteous_ _and good-natured_ attitudes today. “We’re not here to make friends with them. We need the stone that just so happens to be buried under their sacred tree. Would you rather us not save the galaxy? Surely, Snoke will understand if we can’t beat him because of a tree.”

            Rey was glaring back at him. “You don’t need to be a jerk about it. We have to respect the natives of the planet.”

            “It’s a stupid tree!” Ren spat.

“Okay!” Ash interjected with a flail; she was practically yelling over the other two Force Users to get their undivided attention. “We don’t really have a choice here, we’re going to have to overstep some boundaries.” Ash said to Rey, as Kylo Ren smirked thinking he had won. She looked back at him; he realized then she wasn’t exactly agreeing with him either. “But we also have to do this as respectfully as possible. If we don’t have to rip up the tree, we don’t rip up the tree. Got it?” She’d be damned if she let this mission fall apart even before they got there.

            Ren inhaled sharply, taking the moment to regain some composure even though he really wished he could just kill the stupid scavenger and be done with it. Damn his red-haired wife and her ridiculous need to be a neutral party. If she wasn’t trying to balance the entirety of the Light and Dark sides, he would sway her to his side and not need to convince her too much over killing Rey. That was, unfortunately, not the case. “I will do my best to not destroy the tree.”

            “Thank you.” Ash smiled triumphantly as she looked back at Rey, hoping she was satisfied with that compromise. She wasn’t, but she somewhat was appreciative of the effort made by Ashlyn.

            A loud, Wookie roar distracted the trio as they felt the ship exit hyperspace. Kylo Ren quickly stood. He knew he’d have to talk to Chewbacca and work with him now on where to land. Regardless how he felt about the beast. “We should be here.” He looked at Ash, not saying anything verbally, but she got a sense at what he meant.

            With a smile, she stood up too. “Where are you two going?” Rey asked, wondering if she should follow as Kylo Ren left the common area.

            “Apparently I make stupid faces when I see planets and Kylo Ren really likes making fun of me for it.” In so many words, this was accurate. Rey was still just as confused as before as Ash laughed, grabbing at her wrist gently and pulling her towards the cockpit. “C’mon, I’m sure as a native to Jakku, you probably don’t see many planets either.”

            “Just a lot of sand.” Rey quipped as the two girls walked towards the cockpit.

“Trust me, snow is no better.” Ash said with some distaste. Although StarKiller had its wonderful moments all things considered. It lead her to Kylo Ren. Yet, she still had quite the hatred for the snow aspect of it.

            “I’ve never seen snow.” Rey admitted sheepishly.

“You’re not missing out.” Ash beamed as the girls entered the cockpit.

            Kylo Ren forgot that the scavenger was also limited in her knowledge of planets. It was strange to him, having been to so many places that Ash and Rey could be missing so much. How different their lives were, Kylo Ren was practically royalty and here they were… two orphans with nothing to go on and yet they stood there appreciating everything they had. However, now he had two people to mock as they stared with their jaws slack at the beautiful, green planet in front of them.

            “Places like this exist…” Rey commented in passing as disbelief washed over her.

Ash smiled, still staring in awe. “Yeah, they do.” Her smile turned somewhat sad then, as she thought about the book on planets. “We had a book on planets.” She informed Rey. “I wish we didn’t lose it, but, it had everything you needed to know about basically every planet. From it’s fauna, to its landscapes. It was so cool.”

            Kylo Ren sat in the co-pilot seat with a smug smile on his face. He was the cause for Ashlyn’s happiness in that moment, even if it was over a book. Something so simple yet had so much meaning to her.

            Chewbacca flew the Falcon closer to the planet of Cularin and (although begrudgingly) followed Kylo Ren’s instructions on where to land. The Falcon landed in the middle of the jungle, covered by the trees to prevent detection from any wandering ships that could fly by. This was it, the first stop on their mission to defeat Snoke. While the trio didn’t say anything about it as they stared at the mysterious and foggy jungle before them… they could feel what everyone was thinking in that moment. How the hell were they going to pull this off?  

 


	55. The Eye of the Sun

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The gang fights a Rancor.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Super important question. How do you guys know if I update? Do you get a notification? Is there an email? Do you just randomly check in hopes I updated? 
> 
> If you can, please let me know in a comment. I'm finding out that the other website this story is on is flaky with emails to let people know. If that's the case here too, I may send out updates or something on tumblr or maybe twitter, idk. Whatever you guys would prefer. Just let me know what the deal is I guess?

* * *

 

           Cularin was hot, humid and not even the least bit enjoyable in the shade. At night the planet would cool, however, they arrived late in the afternoon and it was disgusting. According to Kylo Ren, the group arrived on one of the hottest days of their calendar year. No one appreciated that little piece of trivia, especially the very hairy Wookie that demanded he remained on the ship to stay cool.

            Luckily for Ash and Rey, they weren’t wearing anything too heavy that could cause them to overheat. Kylo Ren however was wearing all black and Ash knew how thick the material was. After twenty minutes of arguing with him that he was probably going to die from heat stroke (and Kylo Ren suggesting he simply go naked, which caused Rey to yell in disgust and Ash to let out a very long and exasperated sigh), Ren finally agreed to change at least his shirt. This caused another argument when the only clothes available were leftover clothes from Han Solo. Another twenty minutes of name calling between Rey and Kylo Ren, and within those twenty minutes Ash trying to calm down the argument, they finally got Kylo Ren to wear the damn shirt. It was a white shirt and Ash couldn’t wrap her head around seeing him in anything other than black. However, he looked pretty attractive in a baggy, white cloth shirt. Regardless of its origins.

            Even though he was in the grumpiest of moods, the shirt was much lighter than his previous one, and now the trio could finally leave the ship and continue their mission.

           “What does a Ch’hala tree even look like?” Ash asked curiously, looking at the vast jungle around her. Everything looked the same, varying only a little in specific detail as the trio wandered deeper and deeper into the jungle.

            “It’s big and tall and looks like a tree.” Ren replied sarcastically. Ash and Rey exchanged glances as the trio kept walking; stepping over fallen branches and other fauna in their path.

            “How about you be just a little helpful and answer her question?” Rey basically sneered at the man.

            He exhaled sharply as he continued to lead the trio through the jungle. “It’s a rather large tree with a slim body and colorful, thin leaves. There won’t be anything else like it around, considering, it’s the **_only_** one left in existence.”

            Ash stopped walking as she stared at the back of his head in disbelief. “And we’re going to destroy it...”

            Ren groaned. “We’ve been over this, Starshine. It’s just a stupid tree.”

“A sacred tree.” Rey reminded them with a sing-song voice.

            Kylo Ren could sense that Ash had stopped walking as her mind tried to process all the implications of destroying the last of a species of tree would have. Although, to Kylo Ren, that was a useless way to spend any effort. “Keep moving, Ash. You don’t want to get eaten.”

            “Eaten?” Rey asked with concern as she looked back at Ash who was now rushing to catch up to them.

            “We’re in a jungle, of course there are going to be predators lurking among the trees.” Kylo Ren stated as a matter-of-fact.

            Ash caught up to Rey, the two girls following a little closer to Kylo Ren now as Ash asked. “Like what?”

            “Jungle Rancors.” He looked back at the girls, smirking ever so slightly at the clear worry on their faces.

Ash quickly made a face resembling frustration and confusion as she realized her worry was unwarranted and was channeling Rey’s emotion now. She didn’t actually know what a Rancor was nor had ever seen one. “I assume that’s bad?”

            “They’re nasty things.” Rey explained. “I’ve seen one on Jakku, a man had one as a pet. It was a little bigger than BB-8. A baby Rancor, but it was mean. Apparently, they grow much bigger.”

            “Basically, you don’t want to find one.” Ren agreed with disinterest as he kept his eyes forward, looking for any sign of the aforementioned tree.

Now, Ash found a reason to have some sort of concern as she found some understanding as to what a Rancor was. “Got it. Avoid giant, mean creatures.”

            Rey smirked knowingly. “Perhaps that means you should avoid Kylo Ren too while you’re at it.”

            Ash laughed as the man in question turned around once more to glare at them. Particularly at his wife who dared to laugh at that joke. She smiled innocently at him and shrugged. “The both of you are very cruel to me.” His tone simple and feigning hurt. “I’m here trying to fulfill a prophecy, find a mythical tree--”

           “Sacred.” Ash corrected.

His glare did not lessen. “Sacred tree, and save the galaxy and all you two can do is make rude comments.”

           Rey rolled her eyes. “He can’t be serious.” She looked at Ash who was just as aware as she was at the situation before them.

             “I’m very serious.” Ren stated.

“No he’s not.” Ash countered. “Just find the stupid tree, Ren.”

            Now, he was grinning as he looked back at the girls again. “So, you admit it’s stupid?”

Ash groaned as Rey threw her arms up in defeat. “Ben Solo, if you don’t cut the crap and find the tree, I swear I’m going to beat you.”

            Rey made a face at the name. “I like ‘Ben’ better than ‘Kylo Ren’.”

“That’s what I said!” Ash agreed quickly, before Kylo Ren could protest and yell at her.

            Rey looked at the back of the man’s head as they continued moving forward. His dark locks starting to stick to the nape of his neck from sweat; the heat was getting to the trio. “Why not go by Ben Solo again? Isn’t Kylo Ren more of a First Order thing?”

            Ash shrugged. “I tried that; he’s sticking with Kylo Ren, even though I’m Ashlyn Solo.”

“Perhaps we’ll just call him ‘Ben’ going forward regardless of what he thinks.” Rey suggested.

              Kylo Ren snapped then, turning to face to two girls as they stopped in their tracks, his lightsaber clutched tightly in his hand as the blade sparked out of the hilt. “CALL ME ‘BEN’ ONE MORE TIME!” He shouted at them. Okay, Kylo Ren still had **_a lot_** of issues with being called Ben Solo.

            Rey regained her composure as she stood her ground and challenged him right back. “Put the lightsaber away, **_Ren_**.”

            “You’re not giving me a reason to not run you through, **_scavenger_**.” Ren’s glare was like daggers, boring into the scavenger.

            Ash was ready for a fight the fight to break out; she clenched her fists tightly as she stood off to the side, ready to intervene and break them apart. However, something else caught her eye as she stared passed the Light and Dark Users that were at each other’s throats. In the distance was a very small clearing; there stood a thin bodied tree with colorful leaves. The tree was tall and mighty; an aura of something much darker calling from it as she quickly exclaimed. “Hey! I think I found it!”

            Rey and Kylo Ren took a step back from one another, turning their attention to where Ash was now rushing over to. With a quick flick of his wrist, his saber retracted. Rey immediately followed Ash over to the tree as Kylo Ren walked over a little slower.

            The trio could agree on one thing; there was something **_peculiar_** about that tree. Something was calling to them from deep within its roots; resonating and vibrating below the surface. Ash and Rey stared up at it in wonderment and a twinge of fear. Kylo Ren came closer now as the calling seemed to specifically reach out to him just a little more than the others. “The stone is here; I can feel it.”

            “How do we get to it?” Rey asked, afraid of the answer.

Kylo Ren began to circle the tree, examining it for any weak spots that could prove useful in reaching the stone. There were two problems here, the stone was definitely underneath the tree. He didn’t know just **_how_** deep under the tree it lied. Then of course, the problem of pissing off the scavenger if he destroyed the tree to get it, which in turn… would piss of Ash. This would all be easier if he wasn’t so damn attached to that red-haired girl.

 

    

* * *

       

           

            The fire began to spread within the maintenance hangar; smoke filling any open space before spilling out into the night sky on Lothal. Bodies of crew members and poor innocents that unfortunately got in the way were scattered all around the hangar. Some had gone down nobly, fighting their way to help the others. Out of the thirty living members and bystanders, only two survived the carnage. They were helpless and foolishly unprepared. Why should they expect an attack from the First Order? They had worked with them.

            Surrounded by a dozen Storm Troopers, Tryphus was propped against the wall, holding his stomach as he began to bleed out from a blaster shot. However, he wasn’t ready to die just yet. He needed to save the older man who was on his knees with blasters pointed at him.

            The sneer on Damar’s face as he walked toward the man, kneeling down to his level. He looked at the tired and worn out Laynor; the man didn’t have much time left after the lengthy battle. “You’re the owner of this fine establishment?”

            “Leave him alone!” Tryphus spat, coughing blood as a nearby Trooper slapped him with the butt of his blaster to silence him.

            Damar didn’t even flinch as he kept his eyes on Laynor. “Don’t take this personal, old man.” Damar began. “We’re after the girl.”

            “She’s not here.” Laynor replied defiantly as he glared at the man.

“No, she’s not.” Damar agreed. “But, you can get her back here for me. Can’t you?” Layno tried to look away only to have Damar grab his chin and force him to keep eye contact. “She’s got spirit, I see where she got it from. You took in the orphan out of the **_kindness of your heart_** , and now you’re going to die for her. But not before you bring her to me.” Damar spat. “You see, your little Ashlyn is the key to all of this. She’s valuable to the Supreme Leader for many reasons. Me? I don’t give a damn about all this prophecy bullshit. It’s all mumbo jumbo to me anyway. No--” He smirked. “What I **_really_** want is what she controls. Not the Force, but the man in the mask; Kylo Ren. Foolish boy fell in love.” He chuckled darkly. “Love? A waste of time. However, she tamed the beast. The lap dog of the First Order. Once I have her, I can stop their little pipe dream.”

            Laynor shook his head. “I will **_not_** give her up to you.”

He replied with a toothy grin as he stood. “You will. You’re going to send out a distress signal, one she won’t be able to ignore.”

           

           

* * *

 

           

           

 

            Hours had passed and the Force Users had made little to no progress in obtaining the Eye of the Sun. Kylo Ren was crouching in front of the Ch’hala tree, his fingertips touching the soil below the tree. He could feel the vibrations from the stone as they traveled up each individual nerve in his fingers, up his arms and into his very core. The Eye of the Sun was calling to him, and rightfully so. He was the Dark User after all. But, there was also this sense of dread that was lingering inside him. A feeling that he would keep to himself to not alert the other Force Users. A feeling that he **_shouldn’t_** touch the stone. Regardless of that inkling and internal battle, he knew he had no choice. He needed the stone, he just had no idea how to get it without knocking the tree over.

            The two suns of Cularin were beginning to descend behind the trees, leaving the sky painted with orange and red hues as they started their descent to the other side of the planet. The impending night was going to make things all the more difficult, which was why Rey began to scavenge for branches and tinder to make a fire. At least they’d have some sort of light in the complete darkness of the jungle.

            Ash was taking this opportunity to explore the nearby area, after being scolded like a child by Kylo Ren telling her not to wander off too far. She dared to adventure as much as she could by pushing that boundary as far as she could. Which, in turn, lead her to a nearby cave that was just barely still in sight of the other two Force Users. ‘ _Don’t even think about it…’_ The deep baritone voice echoed in her head. Surely, he was being too overprotective as Ash sighed and reluctantly turned back around to the tree.

            “So, what’s the deal?” She asked to no one in particular as Rey continued to build a fire and Kylo Ren still stared at the tree, waiting for an answer to be thrown at him.

            Rey excitedly cheered at the fire that was now beginning to spark and spread in the little fire pit she made. She stood up, looking proud of her accomplishment as she looked at Ash. “Well, at least we have a fire.”

            Finally, Kylo Ren stood and turned back to the girls. His expression unreadable as he walked over to the fire; darkness beginning to fall all around them as he said without much emotion. “We’re taking down the tree.”

            “We’re not taking down the tree!” Rey fought back. “It’s the only one left in existence!”

“Whoever owned the stone before us probably should have thought of that before burying it under a sacred tree. Not our problem now.”

            “It’s **_still_** our problem!”

As Ash was about to interject and try to squash the argument once more (as she typically found herself doing lately) a mighty roar interrupted them as it ripped through the night sky. Nearby aviary wildlife sprung from their resting places in the trees from the disturbance as the trio grew dead silent, listening for any other sound to go with it. “Was that a….?”

            “Rancor.” Ren confirmed, looking at the girls. Through the tree line behind them, burst a very large and very angry creature. A creature Ash had never seen before and knew immediately she’d never want to see again as it roared once more. “MOVE!” Kylo Ren shouted, the girls wasting no time as they turned and ran.     

            The steps of the beast shook the earth beneath them, swinging and flailing as he dislodged trees and brought up earth with his mighty steps, as the trio ran to find some sort of cover. “Cave!” Ash pointed to the cave she found earlier. “Get in the cave!”

            The Force Users barely made it inside as the Rancor followed them, missing them only by mere inches as he swatted in their direction. His fist clashing with the side of the cave, causing a few rocks to fall down. The Rancor’s large hand reached forward, trying to grab at anything he could as the trio realized they were utterly trapped.

            “Now what?!” Rey yelled.

“We need to get back out there.” Ren said, grabbing his lightsaber and igniting it.

            Ash and Rey followed his lead, grabbing their lightsabers and setting off the amber and blue blades, respectfully.

With a nervous determination, Ash held the hilt tightly in her hands and shook her head. “Well, what are we waiting for?” She exclaimed, stabbing down at the Rancor’s hand. The beast let out a mighty roar as he pulled back from the cave to examine the damage.

            In that moment of opportunity, the trio ran out of the cave, but not before Ash and Ren exchanged quick glances to one another. They knew what needed to be done. The Rancor wasted no time in following once more, roaring and clawing towards the intruders.

            As they ran, the group noticed something else. In the beast’s rage, he had dislodged the tree. While the tree still stood, it was now lopsided. With a mischievous grin, Kylo Ren looked over at Rey. “Looks like our friend here did the dirty work for us.”

            “Shut up, Ren!” Rey yelled back at him.

With another swipe, the rancor knocked down Ash as the trio kept running. Kylo Ren and Rey stopped; horrified expressions on their faces as the Rancor wrapped his hand tightly around Ash’s midsection and began to pull her closer to him. The girl had dropped her lightsaber from the impact and was now struggling for release from the Rancor’s grasp.

            “ASH!” Rey screeched, running over to the Rancor. Her lightsaber in hand as she began to swipe at the Rancor in an attempt to free her friend. The Rancor using his free hand to swat at Rey as best he could.

            Kylo Ren was about to join them, but stopped. His wife was in danger, he knew that, but he couldn’t move towards her or the battle. No, something was pulling at him; **_calling_** to him. Like a hand reaching in the dark, it grabbed at Kylo Ren’s arm and forced him to turn towards the tree. A piece of him knowing this was wrong and that he needed to save Ash, but that piece was immediately squashed by the hunger that was taking over him. Kylo Ren went to the lopsided tree and began to dig at the roots.

            Rey rolled out of the way as an angry fist slammed down towards her, creating an indent in the ground from the force as Ash continued to struggle to get free from the Rancor’s other hand. “Hold on, Ash!” Rey yelled, growling as she slashed at the one left of the Rancor.

            The Rancor roared brutally at the pain from his thick leg, the new burn mark that looked as though it barely did anything as the Rancor only grew angrier. His hold on Ash tightening as she yelled. “Let GO!” She struggled more, punching at the creature’s hand even though she knew it was pretty much doing nothing.

            Rey then realized, someone was missing. She paused for a moment, looking around frantically for Kylo Ren only to see him kneeling by the tree. “Now is not the time, Kylo!” She called to him as the giant hand swiped at her, knocking her down with a thud.

            Ash was unable to turn around to see what Kylo Ren was doing, but she had a feeling, which only made her angry as the Rancor returned his attention to her. He opened his large jaw; the stench of death on his breath as he roared at the girl in his grasp. Ash’s eyes went wide as the Rancor began to bring his fist towards his mouth. “HE’S GOING TO EAT ME!” She cried out in realization as she struggled harder.

            Rey, groaning from the impact, forced herself to her feet again. Clutching her saber, she ran back over to the Rancor. She had to do everything in her power to stop it from eating Ash, or squeezing her to death, whatever came first. She went for the leg again, slashing at it.

            Distracted from Ashlyn, the Rancor let out a loud howl as it looked back down to Rey. In that distraction, two things happened, Ash was suddenly dropping to the ground while still wrapped in the Rancor’s grip. The Rancor’s hand was no longer attacked as a red lightsaber blade sliced through it like butter.

            The Rancor stumbled backwards, bellowing at the sudden pain and missing appendage. Ash wiggled her way out of the severed hand of the Rancor and was on her feet. Her hand extended as she used the Force to call to her lightsaber. The hilt rising from somewhere in the grass and flying into her grasp as she looked over at Rey. Rey stumbled over to her, her body aching as well as the two shared a silent moment making sure the other was okay. Then, their attention turned to Kylo Ren. His lightsaber was in one hand, in the other, he was looking down at something.

            Before any sort of argument or anything else could happen, the Rancor began to roar angrily again. The trio looked over at the Rancor, realizing it was ready to attack once more. Ren’s hand with the stone closed tightly as he took a readied stance as the Rancor charged.

            Ash and Rey were almost frozen as they watched Kylo Ren battle with the one-handed Rancor. Something was **_different_** about him, they could both sense it as raw power and strength emitted from him. Something **_dark_** and sinister was brewing within the man with the dark locks.

            He slashed and cut at the Rancor and after those frozen moments of eternity, the beast collapsed and lied still as it let out an airy and final groan. Kylo Ren’s shoulder were rising and falling rapidly as he stood in front of the beast, staring at his work.

            Ash and Rey exchanged knowing glances, Rey was afraid to go near him. Ash moved first; walking over to Kylo Ren and standing next to him. He was looking down at the stone again, saying nothing as he did. Ash looked at the tiny rock in his hand, nothing extraordinary about it except that it apparently held an ancient power. Otherwise, Ash would have mistaken it for a simple rock and nothing more.

           As she looked back up to Kylo Ren to say something, he immediately began to walk forward towards the direction of the Falcon. “We should leave.”

           Ash turned back to Rey, who could only shrug. The two were left in the dark, unsure of what they had just witnessed as they cautiously followed Kylo Ren back to the Falcon.

 

           

* * *

 

            On board the Falcon, Kylo Ren was nowhere to be found after takeoff. He didn’t want to be and as far as Rey was concerned no one wanted to find him anyway. Except for Ash; although her current state made it impossible to read. She was radiating pain more than anything. Her ribs were severely bruised from the tight grasp of the Rancor. Nothing was broken, thankfully.

            Ash and Rey were in the common area once more, Rey was helping wrap Ash’s ribs up tightly with bandages in hopes to help them heal. Once finished, Ash moved ever so slightly, hissing from the pain.

            “Are you alright?” Rey asked concerned. Ash forced a frantic nod, not wanting to speak. She was afraid she’d say something to reveal the fact that she wasn’t okay in the slightest. She couldn’t do that to Rey, she needed to be strong for her and for everyone she cared about. She was the shield in all this after all; the protector. “Here, come sit.” Rey offered, helping Ash over to a nearby chair. Ash sat, but not before wincing from the movement. Rey sat across from her, watching her carefully to make sure she was okay.

            Ash forced a weary smile. “I’m not dying. It’s just a bruise.”

“I know.” Rey smiled back.

            “Are **_you_** okay?” Ash asked. “You took a few hits trying to get to me.” She looked down sheepishly. “Thanks, by the way.”

            Rey wanted nothing more than to say something awful about Kylo Ren not being there the entire time to help, but, she didn't. She kept that to herself, knowing that Ash was really taking it to heart. She didn’t need the extra retorts about her husband. “Happy to help.” She said instead. Rey pursed her lips, she wasn’t sure Ash even had an answer, but she needed to ask anyway. She needed to say it out loud; to maybe try and understand what they had seen in the jungle. “I know you felt it; whatever that… **_thing_** was. That darkness that was radiating from Kylo Ren…”

            Ash shook her head. “I don’t know what that was or what it did to him, but it was powerful--” She corrected herself. “No, **_he_** was powerful.”

            “Should we be concerned?”

“Not yet.” Ash admitted. “Not until we know what it’s doing and how the stones work. Maybe our stones will do the same for us.”

            Rey grimaced. “If it is anything like what we saw today with him, I’m not sure I want it.”

Ash was certain she didn’t either. Something felt wrong, they both knew it. Speaking of wrong, she could feel that straining tug from the other Force User on board. Forcing herself to her feet and hiding her pain, Ash clenched her jaw tightly until she was steadied enough to speak. “I’m going to check on him.”

            “Please be careful…” Rey wasn’t just talking about Ash’s injured side, and she knew that.           

 

* * *

 

             Kylo Ren had hid in his father’s old sleeping quarters on the Falcon and wasted no time in ridding himself of his white shirt. He sat on the floor and took apart his lightsaber. He inserted the Eye of the Sun next to the already working kyber crystal and reassembled the hilt. The reaction of the newly added crystal sent a few sparks before the blade ignited. Something felt different about his lightsaber, while it looked the same in every other detail, it **_felt_** different.

            He retracted the blade, holding the hilt in his hands as he felt every fiber of his being, every nerve in his body come alive. Then, he felt nauseous. He felt sick to his stomach, like everything inside his body was moving and morphing all at once. Splitting and realigning with itself as he quickly ran for the washroom and emptied the contents of his stomach. Cold sweat beads beginning to pool on his forehead as he heaved everything he could up.

            This new darkness, this strange new feeling began to creep up on him; messing with the Force that was already inside him and began to tangle its way inside. It wrapped hold of him, painfully. Changing and shifting what was once Kylo Ren and turning him into the darkness he was always meant to be. The last remnants of Ben Solo disappearing forever as Kylo Ren finally grabbed hold of his true potential thanks to the Eye of the Sun.

            He stood up straight, wiping his mouth of any remaining vomit before looking at himself in the mirror. Kylo Ren jumped at first, not recognizing who he saw staring back at him. It was his own reflection, only his eyes were completely black. He examined the dark pools that took over, and almost as quickly as it appeared, it was gone. His eyes looked normal, the white returning and his dark brown irises back to their normal color.

            The knock on the door startled him, quickly he double checked to make sure his eyes were fine before walking out of the washroom just as Ash was entering the main cabin area. Neither one moving as they stared at each other, the door to the cabin closing behind her as she stared at her shirtless husband. “Everything okay?” She asked nervously.

            He exhaled sharply, running his hand through his hair before walking over to the bed where his original top was. He grabbed it quickly and began to put it back on. “Everything is fine.” No, it wasn’t. She could sense it. Something was definitely not fine, and whether it was because of the way he felt, or the fact that he looked visibly ill. Ash knew better. “How is your side?”

            Of course, he felt her pain; he knew she was pretty seriously hurt. He also knew that her pain was partially his fault, considering he did nothing to help her immediately. “Fine.” She lied, he smirked ever-so-slightly as he walked over to her. Gently, he wrapped his arms around her and pulled her close to him.

            “I’m sorry.” He said softly. “I didn’t know how else to help you; the stone--”

Ash pulled back, wincing slightly. “What does the stone do?”

            He hesitated in his answer as he turned away from her and unknowingly began to pace. He knew where this was going; Ash wanted answers. He promised her answers. “It enhances my Force abilities.”

            “How?”

“I don’t know.” He stopped pacing, staring at her with an intensity she hadn’t seen in a while. “But it does. The stone that you will get will also enhance your Force abilities. We need them to if we’re going to fight Snoke.”

            Ash bit her lip, uncertain over a few things when it came to these stones. But, her biggest concern was the man in front of her. “At what cost?” He gave her an unsure look. “Everything comes at a cost, right? What is this cost?”

            “My Dark Side tendencies might be a little… out of control for a while I learn to wield the stone.” He answered truthfully. Ash nodded, trying to take it all in as her side throbbed. Kylo Ren’s aggravated expression turned more to a concerned aggravation. “Are you **_sure_** you’re fine?”

            Finally, she shook her head. “No, I’m not.” For the first time, Ash admitted it. She wasn’t focused on protecting everyone around her. She was falling apart. “I’m tired, Ben.” She didn’t care that she said his real name, he didn’t flinch either at it. Instead, he listened. “I’m exhausted from not being to sleep without a nightmare; I’m exhausted living up to this expectation of being a Grey user--” She sighed. “I’m really tired of fighting with you and Rey every step of the way. I know you guys can’t help it sometimes, it’s just the way the Light and Dark work but--”

            He crossed the room quickly again, gently placing his hands on either side of her cheeks as he looked down at her. “I know, Starshine.” Ren said. “I wish there was something I could do to stop it. Unfortunately, we’re not out of the woods yet. Things are only going to get much more difficult.”

            She gave a weak smile. “Whatever this stone is going to do to you; enhance the Darkness within you or whatever… just don’t let it change **_you_**.” She said quietly. “You’re one of the only things getting me through this. And I’m sorry for putting that one you, but… I need you.”

            He leaned down and kissed her lips softly, gently. “And that is a burden I will always be willing to bear. You keep forgetting that you’re my wife now. Whatever you need me for, whenever you need me, no matter how trivial or severe; I will always be by your side.” His warm breath tickling her lips as her smile widened.

            “I love you.”

He kissed her back a little more feverishly this time. By the stars, how was he so deserving of her? He wasn’t. He knew that. Yet, she was still his and his alone. Kylo Ren pulled her closer, momentarily forgetting about her pain as she jumped slightly, exhaling sharply as he pulled back from her, looking at her apologetically. “Damn it--” He hissed. “Sorry.” Ash laughed, which only caused her to feel more pain as she kept laughing. Kylo Ren playfully rolled his eyes as he scolded her. “Stop doing that, you’re going to make it hurt more.”

            “I know, I know, I know!” Ash gasped, trying to hold in her laughs as the pain continued.

“What am I going to do with you, Starshine?”

            “You’re going to tell me you love me and come back with me to the common area.” She suggested with a timid smile.

            He frowned slightly, kissing her again quickly before muttering into her lips. “Only because I do love you.”

            Ash took his hand into hers, lacing her fingers around his. While she was still apprehensive about the stone, the nightmares; basically, everything that has transpired this past month, she at least had Kylo Ren to help her through it.

 

     

* * *

      

 

            When the two love birds walked into the common area, they felt an immediate shift when they noticed Rey was missing. Ash looked up at Kylo Ren, worried about where the Light User had gone off to. Pursing his lips, he gripped Ashlyn’s hand tighter and lead her to the cockpit where Rey and Chewbacca were.

            Rey looked horrified when she saw Ash; Chewbacca remained quiet as he kept his eyes forward. “What’s going on?” Ash asked.

            “We received a transmission from General Organa…” Rey revealed. “She tried reaching to your friends on Lothal, like you suggested to her.” Ash felt her stomach clench, her face draining of all color as her throat tightened. “There’s a distress signal from Lothal.”

            Ash swallowed hard, looking at Chewbacca. “Patch us to the signal from Lothal.”

“Ash--” Rey said warningly.

            “Do it!” She snapped.

Rey and Chewbacca had heard the distress signal from Lothal already and with the utmost reluctance, they patched the distress signal through the commlink. ‘ _Ashlyn… if you’re hearing this message… I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.’_ The old man stuttered. ‘ _Don’t come to Lothal, whatever you do don’t--’_ There were signs of a struggle as Laynor yelled in agony before the message abruptly cut.

            The group stared at the red-head as she remained unmoving, everything building up inside her small frame as she asked. “Who did this?”

            “I think we know who did this, Starshine.” Kylo Ren only confirmed what Ash already knew.

            A new sensation came over the red-haired girl as she grew angrier. A desperate need for vengeance rushing through every part of her as she clenched her jaw tightly. “Take me to Lothal.”

            “That’s not a good idea.” Kylo Ren immediately tried to squash her demand.

She turned her head sharply to look at him. “I need to help him. I need to help all of them. They’re being attacked because of me. If you don’t take me, you know I’m going to find my way there one way or another. Whether I have to take the escape pod or take over the damn ship myself.”

            He hated knowing that she wasn’t bluffing. The two were locked in a mental stare down, waiting for either one to falter. Shockingly to Rey and Chewbacca, that person was Kylo Ren. “Chewie, get us to Lothal.”

            Rey stared at him incredulously. “Is this really a good idea?”

“Not at all, but my wife needs to see it for herself.” Kylo Ren admitted coldly. “We’ll fly low, evaluate the damage and maybe kill some First Order troops while we’re at it.”

            Rey really didn’t like this plan as Ash left the cockpit to get away for a moment. “I hope you know what you’re doing.”

            “Send a message to the Ascension and the Resistance that we are making a stop for Lothal, should they want to send us some backup.” Kylo Ren ordered about to leave the cockpit to follow Ash, only to stop himself with one last piece of instruction. “And ask my mother if Skywalker figured out where the next stone is.” He left without much more to say as Rey and Chewie exchanged glances.

      

* * *

     

 

            Ash didn’t make it very far considering her side was in pain, Kylo Ren caught up to her rather quickly, leaning down to her level and assisting her to the common area again. “With your side like this, we probably shouldn’t provoke a fight with the First Order.”

            “They have Laynor.” Ash reminded him sharply.

“And if they have us, what do you think will happen?” He asked; Ash clenched her jaw, hating that he was right. “We’ll see if there’s anything we can do, but, Starshine you have to be ready for the worst.”

            Ash’s anger subsided ever so slightly as her expression looked more in pain than anything. “I don’t want to lose anyone else.” She felt herself losing faith again; that earlier moment of weakness returning. “And I know if we go, I’m just risking our safety as well, but…”

            He gently shushed her, holding her close to him as the two entered the common area. He helped her into a chair before kneeling down in front of her. “We’ll see what we can do. I can’t guarantee much, if there’s too many First Order ships, we have to back out. But, we can still try.” Kylo Ren gave her a dazzling smile then. “What kind of husband would I be if I didn’t do everything within my power for my wife?”

            That made her smile. “Stop it.”

“Never.” Ren teased, standing up and kissing the top of her head. “I want you to take it easy, please. That means resting until we get there.”

            “Yes, husband.” Ash agreed with a slight unwillingness. Kylo Ren left the common area to return to the cockpit of the Falcon, leaving Ash alone for a while. The more she thought about it, the more she understood the danger she was putting everyone in. However, Laynor was like a father to her. Another person in her life that would be ripped from her. She didn’t want to lose anyone else. Yet, in this war, it would feel like Ash was constantly on the losing side of things.

           

 

* * *

 

            The group had some time before the Falcon would reach Lothal; this gave everyone a chance to rest and recuperate as much as possible. Well, everyone except Kylo Ren. He had disappeared once more with in the ship the moment the burning sensation took over his entire body. His body hadn’t adjusted to the angry and violent temperament of the Eye of the Sun stone. Even though the stone was nestled safely within his lightsaber, it still was causing a disruption within the man himself.

            He could feel it; the corrupting darkness that pulsated throughout his body. The way it shifted and molded within him; powering him. His fire, passion, anger, fear and hate all seemed to explode at once. He felt every single emotion at once; it tingled and burned all the same.

            Ren began to feel sick again; his hands grabbing at his hair tightly as he curled up on the floor. A part of him wanted the foreign power out. That was a dormant little voice that seemed to disappear the longer Kylo Ren remained exposed to the stone. It had become one with him, or rather was trying to become one with him. Something inside Kylo Ren wanted to fight it. He was desperately losing as the stone claimed him as its new master.

 

            The girls were still in the common area, Rey had fallen asleep on the bench where the galactic hologram chess board resided. Ash wasn’t so fortunate to be able to sleep. While Rey was blissfully unaware of the problem lurking within the ship; she was bonded to it. She could sense his pain, his struggle. And soon, Ash was forcing herself to her feet and stumbling around the Falcon to find him.

            She found him in the deepest and darkest part of the Falcon, far away from where anyone could hear his struggle. He was still curled up on the floor, his body covered in sweat as he twitched ever so slightly.

            He had said things would be out of control for a while, she could only assume this was what he had meant. Ignoring the pain shooting up in her side, Ash crawled down onto the floor behind him and wrapped her arm around his midsection; holding him close. Whatever he was going through, whatever he was feeling, she was going to be there through it all. Ashlyn Solo was determined now more than ever to not lose anyone else.

 


	56. Battle of Lothal

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Damar calls out Kylo Ren and Ashlyn Solo, but not for war...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey all, thanks so much for answering my question last chapter. Looks like everyone gets emails about an update. I plan on either posting on tumblr or twitter, depending what y'all want, where I'll also let people know there's an update. The other site this is on apparently has been flaky so, I want to make sure everyone knows when things are updated.
> 
> Also, I'm going in for a small procedure today, so I might be late on updating again this week. Or, who knows, maybe this will give me an excuse to post more chapters if I'm home anyway! 
> 
> Anyway, remember to comment and let's boogie!

* * *

 

Damar stood in the entrance of the maintenance hangar, staring up at the quiet sky as Troopers moved all around him, collecting items and preparing for any potential arrival of the Force Users. It had been quiet for a few days now, no one dared try to fight back on the planet Lothal; the maintenance section had become an occupied First Order sector.

            Perhaps Damar underestimated Ashlyn and her sentiment. Maybe she wasn’t as weak as he had thought her to be. A scout walked up to Damar, saluting him. “Sir, we have sighting of an unknown ship flying into this sector.”

            Damar’s lips curled upward into a cruel smirk, knowing he had assumed correctly as he looked at the Trooper. “Get ready for their arrival. I’ll prepare our guest of honor.” He turned quickly on his heels and walked back into the hangar. Damar was going to end this now.

 

* * *

 

            Kylo Ren sat in the co-pilot seat of the Falcon, alongside Chewie (who refused to give up piloting rights to Kylo Ren). Behind them, Ash stood, clutching onto their chairs a little too tightly as she tried to ignore the pain in her ribs. The planet Lothal was inching closer and closer. Although, Kylo Ren had a bad feeling about what they were going to find on Lothal, he was just as impulsive as the woman standing behind him. He wouldn’t deny her the opportunity to save those she cared for, or rather, got revenge on those who took them away. However, Kylo Ren knew he needed to be careful, provoking too much of a dark side within Ashlyn could shake things out of balance. It was a double-edged sword; to deny Ash the option of fighting could also sway her. At least, if she felt as though she did enough, perhaps that could keep her steady. Kylo Ren could only hope this were the case.

“We need to be ready for evasive action once we get closer.” Ren informed them, looking at the radar on the console. “We have TIE Fighters, they’re aligning on the outer sector of the planet, reading to swoop in when we do.” He knew this tactic, he was a First Order Commander, after all. “Once we do, they’re going to form a ‘V’ targeting formation and position themselves to swarm behind us. They’re going to try and lock-on, but TIE Fighters can’t lock on if we’re in a spinning motion.”

            The Wookie roared in understanding; while he was getting too old for this crap, he couldn’t deny the adrenaline from one of these air raids. He’d been in a few too many at this point.

            Kylo Ren kept his focus at the airspace in front of them, his eyes scanning for any intruding TIE Fighters. “Is Rey set?”

            Ash nodded, turning towards the ladder that lead down to the blasters. “Rey! We’re heading in, get ready!”

            “Ready!” Rey called back up.

“Starshine, get to the ramp and hold on. I’ll be with you shortly.” Ren instructed her. Ash did what she was told and made her way to the exit ramp. She held onto the nearby rail by the ramp release, clinging onto her lightsaber in the other hand as the ship began its final descent onto Lothal.

 

* * *

 

            Like Kylo Ren predicted, the moment they broke into the atmosphere and dove down to the where the maintenance shop was, TIE Fighters burst into the sky and began to follow them. Chewbacca twisted and turned the ship in the sky, dodging and breaking from any target locks from TIE missiles. Rey fired from below, hitting any Fighters in range with ease.

            Kylo Ren took his cue from the Wookie as he began to circle back towards the ground and made his way to where the red-haired girl was at the exit ramp. Ash opened the hatch, the ramp dropping slowly as the ground became closer and closer within reach. Kylo Ren joined her, standing next to her as they stared out of the Falcon. ‘ _You sure about this?’_

_‘Positive.’_ She mentally said and the two lightsabers went off as their window of opportunity came. The Dark and Grey User jumping out of the Falcon and landing on the ground with a thud. Ash yelped loudly, falling to her knees from the pain she couldn’t be bothered with and forced herself to her feet. Adrenaline kicking in as the two marched forward to greet the incoming Troopers on foot.

       

* * *

    

 

            “Take us back around, Chewie!” Rey shouted from the gunner seat. The Wookie bellowed from up top and flipped the ship round to bring the TIE Fighters away from the ground fight and giving Rey access to the ground Troopers as she fired down on them. Rey carefully aimed and fired, forcing the Troopers to separate and disband to get out of the way of the fight. That gave Ash and Kylo Ren their opportunity to race forward, the two running side by side as they greeted the Troopers on the battlefront.

            Slashing and stabbing, the two fought side by side, destroying anything in their wake. A surge of power pulsating through Kylo Ren as he channeled his newly acquired energy stone. Ash was running on pure adrenaline as she kicked back a Trooper and ran her blade through his chest.

            She had never used her lightsaber like this; not to this extent of a battle. She was rusty, she knew that. Unlike Kylo Ren who could expertly deliver devastating blows, hers were more of a guerrilla style. Hit as hard and as fast as possible and move to the next enemy all the while keeping tabs on the Force User next to her. Whenever he needed coverage, she gave it to him and protected him as much as possible. A move that didn’t go unnoticed by the man in black as they continued to fight their way into the hangar.

Breaking into the skyline, a fleet of ships that Chewbacca and Rey didn’t recognize at first and almost shot at until they were joined by X-Wings. Rey smiled with hope as she cheered at the arrival of their help, the sky was now littered with backup. A transport unit landing on the ground once the sky was clear enough; Ascension Troops racing out and being led by the woman in the chrome armor.

Ash jabbed her lightsaber into the helmet of an attacking Trooper that got too close as Kylo Ren swung behind her, taking out a Trooper that planned to flank her. As he did, he saw the action beginning to unfold behind them as Troopers began to focus on the new faces on the battleground. “The calvary is here.” He informed Ash, whom paused for only a moment to see the fray behind them.

            “Phasma.” Ash said with a relieved smile.

“Looks like they got Rey’s message.” Ren contributed, nodding to the hangar. “Come on.”

            The hangar was silent; nothing moved or made a noise except for the two Force Users as they walked further into the hangar. A place that was once full of life was littered with decaying bodies. A chill ran up Ashlyn’s spine as she looked around for any sign of life, any survivors at all. Nothing. There was nothing. Everyone had been slaughtered.

            “Oh good, you made it.” Damar walked out from around the corner along with a dozen Troopers and Laynor. Laynor was held at blaster point.

            “No--” Laynor gasped when he saw her. “I told you not to come back!”

“Let him go!” Ash yelled as angry, hot tears pooled in her eyes.

“I was informed by the Supreme Leader that there’s something special about you, Ashlyn.” Damar began to explain, his blaster in his hand. “You create balance with your new Force wielding friends. While I won’t pretend to understand what any of that means, I **_do_** understand what your weakness is. Your attachment to those you love--” He glared at Kylo Ren. “Including the First Order lap dog.” Kylo Ren’s grip on his lightsaber tightened. “And in that attachment is what makes you who you are. Disrupt that? You create absolute chaos. And me?” He grinned. “I am an agent of chaos.” With that, he raised his blaster and shot Laynor in the back of the head; point blank. “The Supreme Leader looks forward to your turn to the dark side, Ashlyn. As do I.” With a smug grin, Damar made his exit; the remaining Troopers readied their blasters.

            Ashlyn was numbed by what transpired before her. She could feel nothing; the pain was building as another loved one was killed right before her. Another person The Force inside trying to battle against the threatening darkness as it pushed it way forward.

            As Ashlyn took a step forward, ready to destroy anything and everything in her path. Kylo Ren pulled her back, stepping in front of her. “You’re not the darkness they should worry about.” Something in his tone different as he began to walk towards the Troopers.

            Naturally, the Troopers fired to stop Kylo Ren. Ashlyn saw a different man in that moment, a man that was no her husband as the blaster shots froze midair. Kylo Ren continued walking forward, each blaster shot going off in a different direction than intended as he mentally moved them.

            Ash found herself dodging rogue blaster shots as she moved out of the way and ducked behind a nearby transport. As she did, she could hear the screams coming from the Troopers as the corrupted blade whizzed and hissed; crackling and whirling through Trooper armor. Ash closed her eyes tightly, hearing the chaos and carnage that Kylo Ren was leaving in his wake. Her heart had leapt to her throat; her pulse thudding extremely hard as she covered her ears to try and rid the sound of what was happening around her.

            The worst noise came soon after; **_silence._** Silence filled the hangar as Ash opened her eyes. Her breathing labored, she came out of hiding and saw the ripped apart Troopers. Kylo Ren standing triumphantly among them; his shoulders rising and falling rapidly as he continued to clutch his lightsaber as tightly as possible.

            Ashlyn’s lips quivered as she stared in disbelief at the destruction he left. The heaviness of the situation coming down on her, the loss; the pain, the agony. All of it washing over her at once as she called out to him. “Ben…?”

            Sharply, Kylo Ren turned. Ash saw it. Although it came quickly, she saw the black eyes that took over his normal golden orbs. The sheer, pitch black that covered them, and were gone in a mere second as he regained his composure. He was in-tune again with Ashlyn; feeling the conflicting and agonizing pain within her. With heavy and quick strides, he rushed over to her, pulling her to his chest as she broke down into a sob. Ashlyn Solo lost it.

            “Found them!” A man called out as he peered into the hangar. Kylo Ren looked up to see Lieutenant Brass as he entered the hangar, followed by Captain Phasma.

            Phasma saw the scene playing out in front of her, the sobbing Ashlyn, the angry and yet concerned Kylo Ren. She looked back at Brass. “You can inform the General we have him. We’ll enter the transport unit momentarily. No one else enters except for them.”

            “Yes, ma’am.” Brass saluted, leaving the hangar quickly.

“Ren.” Phasma said softly, he only nodded as Phasma left the hangar.

            With a mighty swoop, Kylo Ren picked up his sobbing wife and cradled her in his arms. He knew she was going to be ridiculously sore once the adrenaline wore off. That didn’t matter. He needed to get her away from all of this, and so he carried her to the Falcon to stay with Rey while he went to the Ascension transport unit.

 

* * *

 

            The troops belonging to both the Ascension and Resistance made camp on the field of Lothal, just outside the industrial sector. This was the first time either side was meeting face to face. Commander Poe Dameron had his reservations, but made a point to meet with Lieutenant Brass as well as other officials. He also **_really_** did not care for the suggestion of having General Leia enter the Ascension ship and forced his way onto the transport unit.

            Poe walked into the main area of the larger transport unit where he was now faced to face with General Hux and Captain Phasma. However, none of that bothered him, not as much as the defeated Kylo Ren’s as he sat at the table. His head in his hands as he sat there silently. The only people allowed in this room were Hux, Phasma, Leia and of course Poe and Kylo Ren.

            “What happened?” Leia asked, her voice firm but also worried about the condition her son was is.

            “We left them alone for five minutes and they started a war.” Hux quipped.

“There was already a war, General.” Phasma chastised. “They just won a necessary battle.”

            Poe looked at the defeated man at the table again, for the first time, he felt bad for Kylo Ren. “Did they though?”

            Kylo Ren was tired of letting people speak for him then as he sat up, looking at the group around him. “They went after Ashlyn; they’re trying to provoke her and push her to the dark side. If she succumbs to it, this whole operation fails.” He explained. “Snoke knows what we’re trying to do and he’s attempting everything in his power to stop it.”

            “How do we keep that from happening?” Poe asked, concerned for the well-being of his friend as Kylo Ren glared at Poe. It was a habit at this point. “How do we keep Ash from going to the dark side?”

            “Leave that to me.” Ren replied darkly.

Leia sensed her son wanted to drop that conversation quickly; it was bringing something out of him that even she couldn’t grasp. It was a conversation they’d need to have, but not a conversation they should have right now. “The First Order now knows we’re working together.” Leia shifted the topic to a more tactical one. “What is our next move?”

            “We still need two more stones.” Ren informed them.

“You found the one on Cularin?” Leia asked, only for confirmation purposes. She knew the answer to that.

            “I have.” Kylo Ren carefully established. Even now he still found a need to keep his cards close to his chest. “Did Skywalker reveal the second location?”

            Leia pursed her lips, giving away that she had information that she too was not ready to give just yet. “We will discuss that matter later.”

            Hux had had enough of the tortured look on Kylo Ren’s face; he was feeling weighed down. Something had happened between the time he left for Crait to now. Something that Hux was almost certain he could never understand. “Go to her.” He instructed. “We will take the war tactics from here. General Organa will meet you later to discuss the stones.” He looked at Leia for confirmation. She merely nodded.

            Kylo Ren didn’t need to be told twice. He didn’t want to be there in that meeting. He wanted to be with Ashlyn. He also wanted to hide from Ashlyn all the same. She saw him; she saw what the stone did to him. The power that sparked within him. The untamable, raw power. Stars knew he wanted to run and avoid that conversation. Yet, there was still that part of him, the part that loved the girl so deeply, that wanted nothing more than to comfort her in her time of need. The stone may have been snuffing out the last remaining parts of his sanity, but he’d be damned if it ever took away the one thing he loved and desperately clung to.

 

* * *

 

            Chewbacca and Rey sat in the cabin hull of the Falcon, where roughly four twin beds attached to the wall, resided for crew members. The room was dimly lit, the lull of the ship’s engine rumbling beneath them as the two sat by the twin bed where Ash had curled up on. Her side was in pain from the Rancor attack, but that didn’t matter to her then. The weight of everything else began to crash down on her. The ghosts of her past bringing her down with them. Laynor, Sid, her parents… her brother. The loss of her maintenance team both from Lothal and StarKiller. It was as though grief was all Ashlyn knew anymore. The feeling of loss from a loved one. She was sick and tired of it. Mentally she was exhausted and wanted nothing more than to give up.

            But Ashlyn Solo was a protector, meant to help those around her and keep them safe. Right now, she was doing a really shitty job at it. At least, that’s how it felt.

            The Wookie bellowed quietly; Rey gently touched his arm. “She’ll be okay.” Would she? It didn’t feel like it. Heavy steps entered the cabin area; the room shifting to a darker tone as Kylo Ren looked at the scene before him. Rey looked up at the towering Wookie. “Let’s give them a moment.” She offered, the two beginning to leave.

            “Rey--” Ren called after her, stopping her before she could leave. She stared at him for a long while, understanding exactly what he was trying to say but couldn’t. Instead, she didn’t make him and gave him a weak smile; nodding to tell him she understood before leaving the room with Chewbacca.

            Kylo Ren looked back at his silent and unmoving wife for the briefest of moments before climbing into the small space next to her and wrapping his arm around her. He felt everything she was feeling; it weighed him down just as much as it did to her. Their bond did that; they felt **_everything_**. From happiness to sorrow; anger and joy. They shared it all. At times, it was exhausting. Yet, neither one would change it for the world. They knew that.

            “I can’t save them all.” She finally said; her voice cracking from having cried so hard. “You told me that once.”

            He exhaled sharply through his nostrils. “And you stubbornly replied that you’d try anyway.” He reminded her, unable to hide the small grin on his face as he remembered that moment. It was the same night they shared their first kiss. A night that sent them on this journey, a night that bonded them for eternity. “You’re going to lose people, Starshine. But that can’t stop you from fighting.”

            “Maybe the Force made a mistake. Maybe I’m not supposed to be a Grey User or destined to protect everyone.” She was losing faith.

            Kylo Ren propped himself up on his arm as he gently pulled Ashlyn, forcing her to look at him. Her eyes were puffy and red from crying; she looked defeated. “The Force doesn’t make mistakes and you are far from one. You’re still finding your place in all this. Being Grey isn’t easy; being Light and Dark? That’s nothing compared to what you have to offer. You’re complicated in all the right ways and you are destined for greatness. I know it.”

            “And if I can’t? If Snoke wins and I can’t do what I need to do?”

“You will.” He said, leaning down to kiss her cheek. “You’re stronger than Snoke. If you weren’t, he wouldn’t be scrambling so hard to try and stop you.”

            There was more to her troubles than just those she lost today. He knew it too; whenever Ash bit the side of her lip nervously, it always meant she had something else to say. “What happened in the hangar?”

            He frowned slightly. “I told you the darkness would be out of control for a while.”

He did tell her that. “I know, but are you okay?”

            Kylo Ren snorted in disbelief. “You’re the one who fought a battle today with a bruised rib cage, lost a loved one and your being target specifically by the First Order… and you’re asking me if I’m okay?” When he put it that way, it did sound utterly ridiculous as Ash let out a reluctant laugh. “I think you’ll be more than fine at protecting those you love, Starshine. It’s not just about saving them in battle. You protect them in other ways too.”

            Ash winced slightly as she shifted to get closer to Kylo Ren and wrapped her arms around his neck. He leaned down to make it easier for her, allowing her to move a little less as their lips softly brushed together. That electrifying feeling when they connected still ever so persistent as it radiated through both their bodies.

            Their kiss began to grow heated as his hands began to wander lower and lower. Accidentally, he gripped a little too lightly, causing her to wince at the contact and hiss. He pulled back, sighed apologetically. “We can’t do this, you need to rest.”

            “I can rest when I’m dead.” She mumbled, pulling him back down to her and kissing him. “Please.” She pleaded; her voice small. She wanted comfort, she needed comfort. She needed to just forget about it all for a while, this was the only solution she could think of. “Everything else is falling apart and you’re my only constant through all this. I just need you…”

            Reluctantly, he pulled back once more. “And if they come looking for us?”

“Then you better make it quick.” She smirked mischievously. Kylo Ren chuckled, shifting his body enough to see the door as he outstretched his arm. After a few beats, the sound of the door locking could be heard.

            He returned his full attention back to Ashlyn, his grin matching hers as he leaned down. “Well, if my wife needs me…”

 

She did. She really, really did.

* * *

  


Rey sat in the common area trying her best to ignore the blatantly obvious shift in the tone of the ship. Sure, she was ever grateful for Kylo Ren being able to comfort Ashlyn. She just wished it didn’t have to be **_that_** kind of comfort considering their current objectives. The Ascension and Resistance were here, meeting under one umbrella to discuss their next course of action. They also had the stones to be concerned about still. There were still two more out there in the galaxy somewhere.

Matters only grew worse when the charming Poe Dameron came on board to see Rey and ultimately check on Ash. Rey smiled brightly at the pilot as she stood from her seat to greet him; the two embracing. “Glad to see you’re okay.” Poe said. “Finn will be happy to know you are.”

The two pulled away from each other as Rey blushed ever so slightly. “He didn’t come?”

“He stayed behind to keep an eye on things, as well as keep an eye on Luke Skywalker.” Poe explained. “Who, by the way, is an interesting guy.”

Rey laughed. “How do you mean?”

“Apparently he went into the mines and was talking to himself.” Rey looked at him with an odd confusion, yet still smiling at the bizarre concept. “It was weird, I know. But a few people reported seeing it happen.”

“Master Skywalker does have some odd quirks about him.” Rey agreed.

Poe nodded, scratching the back of his head before asking. “How is she?”

            Rey hesitated as she grimaced. “She’s doing better now.” She replied hesitantly.

Poe was confused. “That’s a good thing, right?” With that, the door to the common area opened revealing Kylo Ren and Ashlyn. The smug grin on Ren’s face was enough to give away exactly what Rey meant. “Oh, I see…” He muttered quietly.

            Ash noticed the pilot, relieved to see him as she walked over to him. “I didn’t know you guys were here too.”

“We couldn’t let the Ascension have all the fun helping you.” Poe replied, grinning as he went to hug the girl only to stop as he looked behind her at Kylo Ren, who merely rolled his eyes and waved him off that he was good. Poe took the opportunity and hugged her, Ash wincing slightly from the contact. “Hey, you okay?” He asked with concern as he pulled back to look at her.

            “Yeah--” Ash gripped her side a little. “I’m fine. Picked a fight with a Rancor; not my best plan.”

            Poe chuckled. “Yeah, no kidding.”

Ren walked over to his wife then to make sure she was okay, but also to remind the pilot where he stood in all of this; which was clearly not this close to his wife. “And you’re here because…?”

            “Checking on my friends.” He reminded the taller man exactly where his place was.

The two glaring at each other in their internal struggle. Sure, Kylo Ren was able to get along with Rey, even for a slight moment. But the pilot? That was never going to happen. “Oh good, I arrived just in time to watch you both bicker over girls.” Their attention turned to the graceful, older woman standing in the doorway of the common area. Leia looked around at the room, a fondness taking over her as she did. “I haven’t been here in a long while…” She looked at her son knowingly; Kylo Ren avoided her gaze as best as possible.

            “Hux and Phasma?” Poe asked her.

“The Ascension have left, they’re returning to Crait as we should be doing.” Leia informed them. “I’ve come to collect my Commander and to check on my daughter-in-law.”

            Ash smiled. “I’m doing better, thank you.”

Poe looked at the group. “Well, keep in touch. And try not to start any more battles just yet. Or at least give us more warning next time you plan on doing so.”

            “We’re going to try not to.” Rey smiled warmly at the pilot.

“You said you have something for me.” Kylo Ren finally looked at his mother.

            Leia nodded. “I did.” Behind her, rolled in a white and blue astromech droid. “R2?”

The droid beeped and blipped before displaying a hologram in front of the group. It was Luke Skywalker. “ _After a lengthy debate at uncovering the riddles of my former Master, I’ve found the location of the Heart of the Universe. After the end of the Galactic War, the stone was hidden in the asteroid field; there’s a tower belonging to Master Croym, the last owner of the stone. I’ve placed coordinates within R2 for where you might find the stone. May the Force be with you all._ ”           

            The message ended as R2 beeped happily before rolling out of the room and towards the cockpit to implant the coordinates given by Skywalker. Leia looked back to Poe. “Shall we, Commander Dameron?”

He nodded to the group and exited the Falcon. Leia took one last look around before acknowledging the group once more. “Keep in touch.” She said once R2-D2 rolled back to the common area, blipping his well wishes before following General Organa out of the Falcon.

            “Looks like we have our next location.” Rey said, glancing to Ash. “Are you ready?”

Hope was a strange and fragile thing. At moment’s notice it could be taken away or it can be restored. Her friends and Kylo Ren restored that faith in the galaxy. That spark of hope that would ignite the brightest of fires within Ashlyn. She was a protector; she had to be strong. Her moment of weakness and insecurities had passed. While the pain and guilt remained, she had to keep going. For them. For all of those she had lost. Their deaths couldn’t be in vain. With that new spark of hope, and a determined nod, Ashlyn Solo was going to take down the First Order with the help of Rey and Kylo Ren.

 


	57. Heart of the Universe

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Ascension and Resistance come to an understanding, Rey finds her stone and Ash and Kylo Ren really need to learn how to control their impulsive nature.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey all, 
> 
> So I made a twitter account for this story when it updates. Apparently some people still are not getting update emails on the other site, so I'm extending that invitation to you guys as well. If you feel like following it, it will be updated when a new chapter goes up. Or, you can just keep checking back here every 2-3 days. You do you, boo. 
> 
> The twitter is (at) CommandMech because.... get it. 
> 
> And of course, remember to comment and kudos and whatever and I love you guys okay bye!

* * *

 

Damar stood very still in his new office as the giant hologram of Snoke’s deformed head spoke to him. He was afraid that any sudden movement on his part would result in his own demise. While Snoke wasn’t particularly angry with him at this time… he was still uncertain about what the deformed figure in front of him was actually feeling. “We are able to track the Falcon now that we’ve duplicated its signal. We will send a squad of fighters out to track them down.”

            Snoke was not exactly impressed, nor was he disappointed. He just simply knew that the TIE Fighters were not going to do much. He had seen it. What he was more concerned about was the state of the Grey User on that ship. He could feel her sanity fluctuate as her balance faltered from the battle of Lothal. “No.” He finally spoke after a moment’s pause. “Kylo Ren has found the Eye of the Sun; the stone will emit darkness that none of the Force Users are prepared to deal with. The darkness will offset Ashlyn as well; keeping her unbalanced if she is not strong enough. Her will is being tested as we speak.” His voice a distorted growl. “Something is changing. Something is coming to light that we have never seen before. I can feel it. It will change everything.”

            All this talk of the Force and **_feeling_** things was not something Damar truly cared about. He wanted blood and he wanted Hux’s head on a platter. “How do you wish us to proceed?”

            “Keep an eye on them. They will soon need to return to their home base. When that time comes, we will know where the Resistance and Ascension are hiding.”

            Damar wasn’t exactly keen on this idea at first, mainly because he wanted nothing more than to blow the Falcon out of the sky and destroy the remaining Ascension and Resistance members. However, if they were able to find the location where the two parties were hiding… he could do just that. “As you wish, Supreme Leader.”

* * *

  


           

            In the belly of the Falcon, where most of the main engines resided, the Dark User and the Grey User snuck away. It had been a week since the Battle of Lothal and they were no closer to finding the Heart of the Universe. For a week they dwelled on the asteroid belt, scanning for any signs of a tower or any unusual markings that would be a sign. Nothing. It had been a frustrating week, to say the least. Between the Battle of Lothal, the darkness that practically exploded within Kylo Ren before either one knew what to do about it; oh, and the fact that they were in the middle of nowhere with the threat of asteroids every ten seconds. It was a rocky week; they got out their frustration in one of the only ways they could think of.

            Her back was against the only flat wall in the main engine room as her legs wrapped around Kylo Ren’s waist, the two panting heavily; sweat coating their bodies as their hair matted to their faces. Her arms wrapped tightly around his neck as her head rested on his shoulder. A lazy grin on his face as he pressed his lips to the crook of her neck and out to her shoulder. “I like when you get frustrated.” He teased; nipping at the soft flesh of her shoulder.

            Ash let out an airy chuckle as she caught her breath. The pain her ribs were no longer as awful as it had been. At times there was discomfort, but most of the bruising had healed by now. “You’re the worst.” She mumbled, into his shoulder.

            There was something rather **_odd_** in the way Ash and Ren settled their stress. Granted, a natural thing to do in time of crisis was to succumb to carnal needs; a way to forget everything all together. A distraction. Yet, what Ash and Kylo Ren seemed to be missing was the suggestive nature of the darkness that was brewing inside him. The control it had wasn’t just over him; it was a control that was slowly seeping its way into her own being. Channeling the darkness within her. Instead of Ashlyn learning to deal with everything that had happened in a productive manner, it was almost trying to prevent her from doing so. That simple, strange darkness that neither one realized was a bigger threat in the long run. The darkness that allowed them to give into their desires. The darkness that was slowly and connivingly drove them to a state of madness. Blissful and ignorant madness.

            Kylo Ren’s arms were starting to grow tired from holding her up for so long, yet he didn’t want to put her down. He liked finding himself in these… situations with her. Reluctantly, he knew he had no choice any longer and did. The two werestanding naked in the main engine room.

            There was a loud thud that echoed throughout the Falcon as Kylo Ren sighed angirly. “Another asteroid.”

            “Well, we are in an asteroid belt.” Ash retorted as the two began to rummage around for their clothes. “At least they’re small ones.”

            “They’re still making dents in the ship.” Ren snapped at her with that slight anger in his tone.

Ash shimmied into her shirt, adjusting it over her upper half as she frowned at him. “Hey, what did we say about controlling the darkness?”

            The darkness was still stirring inside Kylo Ren; every so often, he’d let it slip and would grow angry or hateful for no particular reason. Well, angrier than usual. If that could ever be possible. That was when Ash stepped in, she tried to help him curb it and for the most part, it worked. Yet, Kylo Ren worried that the darkness was simply lying dormant, waiting for the right moment to strike. At least, for now, they could assume he was controlling it. He exhaled sharply, buttoning his shirt with haste. “I know.”

            Ash was fully dressed now as she walked over to her brooding husband, wrapping her arms around his waist and squeezing. “I know you know.” She said softly. “And I know you’re trying.”

            It took everything in him not to roll his eyes at her as his lips quirked upward slightly into a smirk. “We should head back to the main area.”

            “Yeah--” She agreed. “We don’t want to look suspicious.”

His smirk widened to a full out mischievous grin now. “Starshine, I’m sure they’ve figured out what we’re doing by now.” Ash opened her mouth to protest, only to realize… he was probably right. Her face turned beet red as she blushed profusely. Kylo Ren chuckled, leaning down and kissing the top of her head. “And if they hadn’t, your face says it all.”

            Ash groaned as the two pulled away from one another, Kylo Ren walking with a new-found pep in his step as Ash trudged, grumbling over how awful he was at times.

 

           

* * *

 

 

 Back on Crait, the Ascension were allowed to send only a handful of troops down to the base at a time. At first, they cautiously sent only Lieutenant Mitaka down. Their reasoning was that if they killed Mitaka, it wasn’t exactly the biggest loss. Surely, Mitaka didn’t appreciate that sentiment, but still went all the same.

            Now, Hux, Phasma and Brass had bravely ventured down to the surface of Crait on a regular basis. Or rather, as regular as they saw fit, which mostly consisted of when they needed to brief with General Organa.

            That night was different, however. The trio ventured down out of boredom, curiosity and of course, recon. They wanted to know what the Resistance was up to at all times. Not the most trusting crew in the war; their suspicions were always what kept them alive and being on Crait was no difference.

           While Poe Dameron was far from okay with the Ascension leaders roaming around freely, General Organa assured him that this was actually better for them in the long run. Had they been up to something, they’d be able to catch it considering they had every means to watch them while they wandered the base. That didn’t stop Poe Dameron from following them around and becoming their unofficial tour guide.

         “Some of your machinery seems….” Hux paused, trying to find a word for it as he stared at everything the Resistance had at their disposal. Falling apart weapons; tools that seemed that they hadn’t been used in over a decade. It wasn’t up to date, comparatively, to what the Ascension had. “Archaic.”

          Poe frowned at the snarky General. “We had better stuff on D’Qar, stuff given to us before the Republic was blown up.”

          Hux smirked knowingly. “Oh right, we blew them up.”

“Not sure how you can make a joke about destroying the lives of millions of innocents.” Poe mumbled.

            “Innocents?” Hux mused. “The Republic and the First Order worked very closely together; buying and selling weaponry, parts and ships. This war put money in the pockets of those ‘innocents’ you seem so fond of. Money keeps wars going.”

            Phasma rolled her eyes at their clear display of _right vs wrong_ _ego trip_. “We took the responsibility of the death toll. It’s not something we are proud of, don’t mistake us for heartless monsters.” She interjected. “We did what we had to.”

            “At what cost?” Poe asked, addressing her more so than Hux.

“One less giant to knock down.” Hux added for the good Captain; contemplating his next offer. It could either help or hurt him. Regardless, for now, it was probably better if the Resistance trusted them, at least in some capacity. Even with the aid he would offer them, he knew their numbers could easily wipe out the small team based on hopes and dreams. “Phasma, can we offer some of our intel and technology to the Resistance?”

            “I can see what we have.” Phasma confirmed, not giving away any emotion whatsoever. Hux had a plan, and regardless of that plan, Phasma followed.

            Poe’s eyes widened as he stared at the Ascension leaders in disbelief. “You’re giving us your stuff?”

“Well, not all of it.” Hux explained. “We can’t have our allies using out of date equipment. You’ll get us killed should your toys break.”

            His peace offering was concerning as well as intriguing to Poe. The idea that these people who were seen as creatures and nothing more, and not even that long ago, could make peace with them. Or rather, an artificial peace that could pass as an attempt for now. Poe was still suspicious of them, he had to be. He had the responsibility and duty to protect the people of the Resistance. However, if peace could be had, he’d be willing to try for it. “Hux, maybe you’re not the worst person in existence.” He was joking… sort-of.

            Phasma grinned over the comment as Hux quipped. “No, that award goes to Kylo Ren. At least, according to his wife.” Poe actually laughed at that. “Speaking of, has anyone here heard from them?”

            “Last we heard they were sitting in an asteroid belt, searching for the second stone.” Poe admitted.

            “And hopefully not starting anymore wars.” Lieutenant Brass finally sarcastically chimed in. His sentiment was one they all shared.

            “Your Leader is quite the piece of work.” Poe added, albeit with a slight distaste.

Hux grinned, knowing exactly how the Poe vs. Kylo Ren war was going. “Ashlyn is just as much of a troublemaker as he is. If anything, she exploits his impulsive tendencies at times.”

            “She’s a good person though.” Poe tried to deflect the fact that Ash really was a troublemaker in her own right.

            “I would never say otherwise. However, my point stands. She is trouble in her own way.”

She was and Poe Dameron couldn’t argue that. Ash wasn’t perfect, but at least she was a loyal friend when it came down to it. With a long sigh, Poe simply shrugged. “Mind if I show you guys to our common area? I need a drink.”

              “Don’t we all.” Hux agreed flatly as Poe lead the Ascension leaders to the common area. The room fell deafly silent as the Resistance members in the common area stared in concern as Poe gave them a half-reassured smile. “It’s cool, guys. Everyone’s cool.” He lead them over to a nearby table, mumbling something about drinks as he walked away for a brief moment.

              Phasma noticed the nervous, former Trooper sitting at that very table. He was slightly glaring at her; swallowing hard. “Captain Phasma.”

              She smiled wickedly. “FN-2187. It’s so good to see you.” She hadn’t exactly forgiven him yet for abandoning his post, turning against her Troops, oh and putting her in a trash compactor when they invaded StarKiller.

              “It’s Finn now.” He reminded her.

“Of course, it is.”

            Poe rejoined the group; holding tightly in his arms a few bottles of something Hux didn’t recognize as he placed the bottles sloppily on the table. “It’s all we got, nothing fancy.” He noticed the apprehensive look on Finn’s face. “Everything okay, buddy?”

            “Fine.” He replied. “Just wondering what Chrome Dome is doing here, is all.”

“Chrome Dome?” Hux smirked, his brown quirking upward as he looked at the blond woman next to him. “I kind of like that.” Phasma glared at the ginger, daring him to say it.

            Poe sighed. “It’s a lot to take in, I know. But, we have to work together.”

“I know.” Finn said, still not happy about the whole thing as he gestured to the other seats. “Well, are you guys going to just stand there?”

            Brass was the first to sit, smiling brightly at the former Trooper. He had no qualms with anyone in the Resistance, granted he was a former militia expert for the First Order. That didn’t make him a bad guy, per say. Okay, it sort-of did. But, he, personally, wasn’t the worst thing to have ever come out of the First Order. “So, Finn; you were under Phasma’s rank, I assume. She’s a tough cookie.” He tried to be personable. “Not many survive Phasma.”

            Finn frowned. “I don’t think we’ve met, were you a First Order officer?”

Brass wasted no time in opening his foreign beer as he took a nice long swig. “Sure was.” He grinned. “Militia; ‘A’ rank. Basically, I ran your squad tactics.”

            “And consistently made wise ass remarks while doing so.” Hux droned as he finally sat along with Phasma.

            “Still don’t know how you didn’t fire me.” Brass added with a wink.

“Oh, I was going to fire you.” Hux retorted. “Out of a canon, and into a nearby sun.”

            Phasma gave Hux a pointed look. “No, he wasn’t.”

Poe was curious now at how different they seemed when together. There was a playfulness; comradery that almost mirrored how Poe, Finn, Rey and Ash were when they were together. “How long were you all ranked officers for? Did you know each other prior to being First Order lackeys?”

            Brass was still grinning his stupid grin as he replied. “You call us ‘lackeys’, and we get it. The First Order isn’t exactly known for spitting up rainbows and sunshine. However, your enemy was also our friends. Just how our enemy was all your friends. We may be evil, but we were fighting for the same things you all were. Freedom; Order, a chance to make a difference in the Galaxy.”

            “By murdering people.” Finn objected to his notion.

“We are not as different as you may think.” Hux contributed. “History shows us exactly that truth. The Rebels murdered dozens of innocents that got in the way of taking down the Empire. It’s never so one-sided. All we can do now is try to make the change we want to see in the Galaxy, and I think we’re on the right path, considering we are sitting in the same room and no one has killed anyone yet.”

            “We learned what was wrong with the Supreme Leader and his ideas; now we’re trying to change the course of history. Does that not say we’re the conflicted good guys?” Brass said.

            Poe nodded. “I like that. _Conflicted Good Guys.”_

Brass smugly enjoyed the praise over his new description before returning to the other question. “And yes, we knew each other before we became First Order officials. We went to the academy together. Trained under the same squad with courses and drills. We also met Kylo Ren there.”

            “That must have been fun.” Poe assumed.

Phasma grinned. “Remember when we said he was a troublemaker before? Imagine him worse back then, with less of a filter than now.”

            Finn grimaced. “I can’t even begin to think of him as anything but evil.”

“Evil, sure.” Hux explained. “But if it weren’t for him, we wouldn’t be having this conversation with you all. We’d still be with the First Order; or more likely dead.”

            Poe frowned in confusion. “Wait, Kylo Ren created the Ascension?”

“With our help, of course.” Phasma answered. “But more or less, yes. This was his idea.”

            “He’s not as evil as you think he is.” Brass took another big gulp of his beer. “Sure, he’s done really bad stuff over the years. A lot of it was stuff he didn’t want us to do; kept our innocence in all this. Ren did all the hard stuff so we wouldn’t have to.”

            Hux frowned at the foreign beer in his hand, debating if he even wanted to drink it. However, he knew it would show good faith if he did. Even though he had much better and far more expensive stuff on his ship. With a reluctant exhale, he opened his bottle and took a sip. “Do not take this as he’s a saint.” Hux reminded the group almost warningly. “He’s still a complete pain in the ass.”

            Poe and Finn exchanged knowing looks as they grinned. “Pain in the ass or not--” Finn said. “You still joined him.”

“And we don’t regret it, either.” Brass beamed.

 

* * *

  


             Ash locked eyes with Chewbacca as they sat at the Dejarik table; she all but read his mind to predict his next move. At least she wanted to play fair, unlike Kylo Ren who sat meditating across the common room.

             Chewie made his next move, bellowing smugly at how wonderful of a move it was as he folded his arms across his hairy chest; nodding her Ash to try and beat him.

             Ash looked back down at the board, grinning as she brought her rather large monster forward. The monster using his club to smash Chewie’s monster. The Wookie angrily roared; his fists coming down onto the table with rage before storming from the table. He could be heard shouting in anger as he left the room and wandered to the cockpit once more. “What was that about?!” Ash exclaimed at his outburst.

            “Didn’t I tell you to always let the Wookie win?” Ren smirked knowingly, his eyes still closed as he tried to concentrate. “It was Han’s number one rule whenever I wanted to play against him.” His lips pursed at the memory; a memory he was fond of and yet had the utmost contempt for all the same.

            “It’s a stupid rule.” Ash grumbled.

“Not if you want to keep your arms attached to your body.” Another surge or darkness pulsated through his body as his face contorted to a more pained expression. His lips connecting tightly as he waited for the feeling to pass.

            Ash sensed his distress as she removed herself from the Dejarik table and over to where he was sitting. She crouched in front of him. “Hey, are you okay?” His eyes snapped open, the pure blackness was back as his heart began to race. His breathing labored ever so slightly as he looked at her. “Your eyes are black again…”

            In his frustration, Kylo Ren maneuvered around Ash and began to pace the common area. “I shouldn’t still be having these complications.”

            Ash watched him pace, his anger beginning to build up even more. “You’ll get through it eventually. You just need to keep working at it.” She truly believed that.

            “I need to get through it **_now_**!” He snapped at her; stopping his pacing as he exhaled sharply. He didn’t mean to yell at her, it wasn’t her fault. “I’m sorry--” His voice low. “It’s the--”

            “I know.” Ash reminded him gently as she stood up and walked over to him again.

Even in his frustration, he still pulled the girl close to him, holding her there for a long while as he sighed. “I have to be strong.”

            “You are strong.”

“Stronger.” He rephrased. “I can’t defeat Snoke if I’m not powerful.”

            She frowned into his chest. “You’re not going to beat him alone. This isn’t just your burden to bear, it’s all of ours. We will help you through this.”

            Ren pursed his lips as he pulled back a little from Ash to look down at her. Suddenly, he seemed quite amused at his new revelation. An amusement that should have worried Ash. It did. “You still haven’t told Rey.”

            She hadn’t. “I don’t think we should worry her with that right now considering she’s getting her own stone soon.” Ash answered truthfully.  “Assuming we ever find it.”

Ashlyn began to wonder then what was going to happen when Rey did receive her stone? Would she suffer the way Kylo Ren was? “It’s a Light stone.” Ren answered her, not having to take almost any effort to hear her thoughts. “She shouldn’t be bothered too much by it.”

            “Too much of either side can be overwhelming, I’m sure.” Ash offered. “But what does her stone do? Yours gives you a ridiculous surge of power, but her stone?”

            He made a face. “I’m not sure.”

“I wonder what mine will do to me.” Ash began to contemplate. “Maybe it’ll turn me into a garbage rat or something.”

            Ren chuckled; the darkness beginning to subside as he did. “Don’t be ridiculous.”

She beamed. “But it helped.” Ash nodded up at him. “The scary eye thing is gone.”

            “And not a moment too soon.” He noted just as Rey walked into the room.

Ash reluctantly pulled away from Kylo Ren as she turned her attention to Rey and offered a somewhat weak smile. “Anything yet?”

            Rey shrugged. “Nothing. Maybe Master Luke was mistaken?”

Ren retorted dryly. “Wouldn’t be the first time.” To which, the girls rightfully glared in reply.

            Ash shook her head, trying to return the conversation back to the issue at hand and not Kylo Ren’s clear hatred for his uncle. “Have we checked everywhere?”

            “That’s the problem. Since we’re in an asteroid belt, it’s constantly moving. We can’t really keep track of it.” Rey explained.

            “Well, what did you expect?” Ren was really having issues containing the raging darkness that was residing within him today. “It’s a moving asteroid belt, of course it wasn’t going to be easy to track. It’s not like the asteroid we need is going to just fly right into us.” That was exactly what happened.

            The ship shook violently from the impact of a larger asteroid; sending it spiraling as the trio were tossed around in the common area of the ship. The lights flickering on and off as anything in the common area that was not bolted down began to fly around, this including the Force Users. The Wookie could be heard roaring from the cockpit as the trio tried to get some sort of footing as the Falcon spun out of control until it finally landed with a crash.

            Ash groaned, now sprawled out on the ground amongst any lose items in the room. “You were saying?”

Rey had managed to latch onto the Dejarik table and clung onto it for dear life during the commotion, she was afraid to let go even though the ship had stopped moving. Kylo Ren wasn’t as lucky as he was now in the far corner and lying flat on his back, yet he was the first to his feet as he stomped to the cockpit to find out what the hell had actually happened.

           

* * *

 

 

            The Wookie was yelling at all the blaring alarms going off on the console when Kylo Ren entered the cockpit. “What was **_that_**?!” He looked from the Wookie to the outside world, noticing they had crashed on a rather large asteroid. In the distance, a peculiar formation covered in shadow. He stared at it, trying to make out what it was as Rey ran in.

            Her eyes scanned the blinking red lights and consistent error warnings on the counsel as she asked. “What happened?” Chewbacca yelled back in reply. “Yeah, I can tell we got hit!”

           Ren looked back, noticing she came alone. “Ash?”

“She’s assessing the damage.” Rey explained, now looking out the cockpit window. “Where did we land?” She then saw the shadowed formation. “And what the hell is that?” Rey felt something tugging at her from the inside; beckoning to get out as it crawled underneath her skin. Something with that formation felt… **_right_**. It felt like home, a piece of home calling out to her.

            Kylo Ren, of course, did not let that go unnoticed as he eyed the scavenger suspiciously. “I think we found the stone.”

            Rey kept staring out at the formation; unable to take her eyes off it. “How do we get to it?”

            He shook his head. “Not we, you.”

She finally tore her eyes from the fixture to stare at Kylo Ren in disbelief. “Just me?”

            “It’s your stone, it calls out to you. Only you can be the one to touch it.”

Her eyes locked back with the formation. “So, how do I get to it?” A question for the ages.

 

            Ash was running around frantically as she skid across the floor of the Falcon, cutting corners as best she could to get around as fast as possible. The asteroid that hit them got them good, they needed to repair the ship. One of the main oxygen pipes burst; that wasn’t the best news.

           Ash ran down to the engine room, her eyes scanning over the sparking towers, noticing where the shortages were coming from. The main oxygen pump had completely stalled. “Shit…” She uttered before rushing back up to the main area to find some tools. She had to fix the oxygen pipe first and foremost, then the pump. The ship was going to run out of oxygen and they’d all suffocate in only a measly few hours if nothing was fixed. As she ran through the halls, she nearly ran into Kylo Ren and Rey who were trying to find her to discuss a plan anyway.

            “Starshine?”

“Not now!” She yelled, rushing passed them with some tools and towards the severed pipe. The two other Force Users exchanged glances before cautiously following her to where the broken pipe was.

            Rey realized immediately what was wrong and how grave the situation was becoming. “It took out the main oxygen system?”

Ash was climbing up pipes to get to the ceiling of the Falcon where the pipe was, holding it up with one hand as she began to try and rejoin the severed pieces. Kylo Ren frowned as he watched her. “Please be careful.”

            “I’ll be careful once I get the pipe fixed.” She grumbled, working meticulously to mend the pipes.

            Kylo Ren decided now was as good as any time to explain the situation. “We found where the stone is; Rey is going to retrieve it.”

            She frowned. “How?”

“There’s a suit she can use; it’ll protect her from space as well as handle the no-oxygen problem.”

            “Uh--” Ash informed them. “She won’t be the only one not able to handle the oxygen problem if I can’t get this fixed.”

            “We don’t have that kind of time, Starshine. We’re sitting stationary on this asteroid, which is going to cause an even bigger problem.” Kylo Ren began to explain. Ash looked up at him, about to ask what could be bigger than this, when another space rock hit the ship, shaking it. Ash hung on tightly to the poles as Ren and Rey stumbled to regain their footing from the rocking ship. He glared slightly. “That. That’s why we need to move. We’re sitting ducks.”

            Ash looked at Rey; knowing their choices were extremely limited and their time was running short. If they stayed and sat there, they risked getting hit by more space rocks. If Rey used the suit, they also risked the ship running out of oxygen before Ash could fix it. As Anakin had told her before… she needed to have faith. And she needed to have faith in her friend. “Be safe out there, okay?” She said. Rey wasted no time in heading to the escape hull where the suits lied. She needed to get the stone and quickly.

            Kylo Ren walked closer to Ash, looking at her then to the severed pipe. “What do you need me to do?”

            “Hold this, I have to check on the compressor.” She instructed; Kylo Ren obeyed, holding the pipe together as Ash got down from the connecting pipes. The two locking eyes for a brief moment, uncertainty in how this situation would play out as Ash tore herself away from Kylo Ren and ran for the engine room.

* * *

  


            There was nothing more terrifying than the wide-open space between the ship and the formation in the distance as Rey stared at the rocks flying by. She stood in the bulky space suit, waiting for a clear moment to start running. The blue blade of her lightsaber being her only light and source of defense as her window of opportunity came. Rey sprinted as fast as she could, feeling a little resistance from the giant rock. It held its own gravity, a mysterious force that she couldn’t be bothered to question then. She had to keep going.

            Rocks crashed around her, Rey dodged what she could and sliced what she couldn’t with her lightsaber. The formation was coming closer and closer as she extended farther away from the Falcon.

            So close, she was so close. The stone was calling to her, begging her to find it. She had to. She **_needed_** to find it. A desperate feeling coursing through her that wanted nothing more than to explode from her chest and reach out to the stone.

            Her pulse thudded in her ears as she crossed the dangerous gap and ran into the opening of the formation. Around her was darkness. She was shrouded completely in it as she tried to look around for the stone.

            She could feel it; the stone was so close. It was there. She **_knew_** it was there. Yet, she couldn’t see it. Rey walked forward and deeper into the formation. As if her eyes suddenly adjusted, Rey could see through the darkness and was now face to face with a large mirror.

            Suddenly, she wasn’t alone as she stared almost horrified at the sudden clones of herself, standing in a line with her. Curiously, she moved her hand and looked at it, then at the duplicates as they mimicked her movements. She snapped her fingers. They snapped back. There had to be an end to all this, an end to to the duplicates. However, Rey was lost within herself.

* * *

  


            Ash and Kylo Ren had repaired the damaged oxygen pipe, however the issue still remained. The pumping action was still not fully operational. Oxygen was not getting to the entire ship. Now, the two were in the engines room as Ash cursed loudly at the mechanism; the machine that wouldn’t budge. She slammed her wrench into the side of it; kicking it for good measure too.

            “Starshine…” He said warningly. She was using too much energy and the room was already growing stiff. The oxygen in the ship was clearly beginning to run out much quicker than she originally anticipated. There was also no sign from Rey in the last two hours.

            Ash looked at the tank, the pump; she reexamined the intricate inner workings. Nothing. Nothing was fixing the problem. She took a deep breath, realizing it wasn’t giving her any relief as the room was losing oxygen. “I can’t fix this.” She said in defeat. “I can’t fix this and we’re going to die.”

            Kylo Ren would not accept that. “You’re one of the best mechanics out there, of course you can fix it.”

            “Not this time.” She shook her head. “This isn’t fixable. I can’t--”

“Ash… you **_have_** to.” Now, he was beginning to panic. Whether he was channeling her own anxieties or his own, this couldn’t be it. This couldn’t be where it all ended.

            “I--” She tried to form words, but couldn’t. They were losing oxygen rapidly. This was it. She knew it, her face said it all as she watched Kylo Ren sit down. His breathing starting to becoming labored. She realized, so was hers.

              As Ash was ready to join her husband in defeat, another voice chimed in.“I think you should check the pump wires again.” Ash turned sharply towards where the pump was to see Anakin Skywalker leaning over and examining the exposed wires. “Something seems wrong here.”

            She glared. “What do you know about fixing stuff?”

Kylo Ren’s confusion was evident; his wife was losing it. Wait, no, she wasn’t losing it. She saw ghosts. That… wasn’t any better, honestly. “You still talk to my grandfather?”

            “Not since Crait.” Ash answered sharply as she stomped over to Anakin and the pump. “Where the hell have you been?” She asked before looking into what he was referring to.

              “The Force only sends me out when you’re not following its path, remember?” He replied. “And, to answer your question, I used to be able to build and fix anything.” Anakin’s snarky reply only reminded her of Kylo Ren as he continued. “The converter shorted”

            Ash glared. “Don’t you think I know that?” Kylo Ren really hated being on the outside of these conversations, all things considered.

            “Maybe you should jumpstart it?” Anakin suggested.

“With what?”

            Anakin smirked, he was fading away then. “C’mon, Ash. You’re an impressive mechanic. Don’t let me down.”

“What is he saying?” Kylo Ren demanded; his tone clearly brimming with aggravation on being left out.

            Ash pursed her lips, looking around the engine room for anything strong enough to power the pump again. Her eyes locking onto the hyperdrive rotators. Immediately, she had an idea. “Son-of-a-” She raced over to the rotator, ripping off the panel; the rotators still doing their job at conducting power. In a tired and slowing down eureka moment, she yelled. “Ben, the cables! The jumper cables!”

            Jumping to his feet, he quickly did as he was told, handing Ash the jumper cables. She quickly attached them to the conductor and bolted for the pump; the other end being attached to the converter. After a few quick sparks, she waited with bated breath. They both did… until the pump started vibrating and pulsating.

            The room quickly began to feel a little less stiff as the oxygen pump began to work once more. Ash laughed incredulously; shocked that that had actually worked. “Okay, maybe your grandfather isn’t the worst Skywalker.” She mumbled as she walked back over to Kylo Ren.

            “You fixed it.” Ren gave her a knowing look. “Take some credit in that.”

She beamed, leaning up and pecking his lips quickly. “We’re not out of the woods yet. We have to keep the ship running; if we get hit again, we’re toast.” That grim feeling began to takeover again as the two went back to the cockpit to check on Chewie, and see if Rey had made any progress.

* * *

  


            At the end of the clones, Rey found herself standing in a cave where a small pool of water resided. She looked around, unsure where she was anymore. Nothing felt real. Nothing felt stable. And yet everything felt so connected all at once as she stepped closer to the pool of water. There, sitting at its center, was a blue stone. The water wasn’t deep; she could simply reach right in and grab it. However, something was holding her back. Like an invisible force field, it kept her from reaching forward and grabbing the stone.

            No, she didn’t have time for this. Ash needed her! They were dying on the ship, she needed to get back. Inhaling deeply, Rey closed her eyes and did the only thing she could think to do. She channeled the Force.

            Life; Death; Uncertainty. It was all there. Balance and connection. It surrounded her, engulfed her in the way of the Force. As she opened her eyes, she could see it now. The grey veil that was preventing her from walking forward and grabbing the stone. The veil was the Dark Side of the Force, taunting and provoking her. Trying to keep her from doing what she had to do.

            With a clear mind, Rey exhaled and reached forward. The veil didn’t stop her this time as she reached into the water and picked up the tiny stone. She stared at it as it sat in her hand; admiring it for how precious and small it was. How much power it held. Yet, she didn’t know **_what_** it was doing, how it would change her. She just simply knew it did.

           

 

* * *

 

            When Rey made it back to the ship, she was more than pleasantly surprised that no one was dead. That was, at least, a good start to all this. She put away the suit and held onto the stone tightly in her hand as she walked to the common area. At least, Kylo Ren would know what to do with the stone now.

            Chewbacca was not one for sitting around and stalling; the moment he knew Rey was on board, he booked it to get out of the asteroid belt. No one objected to the action.

            Tired and worn down from their hectic adventure onboard, Ash stumbled into the common area with Kylo Ren trialing not too far behind her. “You found the stone?” She perked up, a new-found energy overcoming her as she looked at Rey.

            Rey held out her hand, showing off the blue stone. “I have no idea what it does.” She looked at Kylo Ren, reluctancy in her tone as she asked. “Can you show me how to use it?”

            He made a face; something was **_off_** about Rey. Something very, very off. Something he needed to quickly figure out. He tried to listen in on her thoughts; see for himself what had happened to her. Except… he couldn’t. “Why can’t I hear you?”

            “Hear me?” Rey asked, only to realize what he was attempting. “Stop trying to get into my head!”

 “I can’t.” He replied. “That’s what I’m trying to tell you, I can’t hear you.” He looked at Ash. “You try.”

            She looked at Rey as if to ask for permission. Rey merely nodded at the notion; and so, Ash tried. “No… I can’t hear her either.”

            In an irritated fashion, Kylo Ren stalked closer to Rey, his arm extended forward as he tried to reach within her mind just a little more. He was pushing passed the unknown block she had in her mind; without much effort, she pushed right back. Kylo Ren stopped, his arm dropping as he glared at her. He could keep pushing, he knew he could. However, he had a feeling that would hurt Rey, quite possibly kill her even. Another thing that would piss off his wife if he did it. Especially accidentally. Or however accidental a person could be that was **_trying_** to kill someone, but not like that. “Well, whatever the stone is doing to you, it’s already begun.”

            Rey didn’t really care for that. “But what is it doing?!”

Kylo Ren didn’t answer her as looked at Ash. “Can you contact my mother and see if Skywalker is around? I want to ask him a few questions. Before I do, I need to show Rey how to install the stone into her saber.”

            Rey and Ash were both equally surprised at his request. She looked at Rey, making sure she was okay with the idea. Albeit very, **_very_** reluctant. She nodded once more. “I’ll let you know once I’ve reached them.” Ash offered before leaving the common area.

            Once he knew Ash was out of earshot of the common area, Kylo Ren wasted no time in testing Rey’s new ability. He levitated one of the nearby objects that had been tossed around during the crash and, with the Force, chucked it at Rey.

            Rey’s hand went up almost a millisecond before the unsuspected attack even happened. The object stopping in mid-air before dropping with a thud. Kylo Ren was suddenly smirking. “What the hell are you doing?!” Rey exclaimed.

            “This is **_interesting_**.” He noted. “It’s such an extreme thing and yet, you can’t even notice what you’re doing.”

            Rey swallowed hard. “What is?”

“Whenever I try to use any Force ability at you, you seem to be predicting it and attempt to prevent me.” Ren was curious. “I wonder how far this new ability can really extend to.”

           He began to reach his arm back out again, however, Rey stepped back. “Ash is coming back.” It was her attempt to stop Kylo Ren from doing anything that could potentially hurt her. She knew he had asked Ash to leave so he could try to manipulate whatever her new ability was without being yelled at.

            Suddenly, Kylo Ren’s arm dropped. Although, he didn’t say it outloud… he hadn’t sensed Ash was returning until a few seconds after Rey had said it. When the red-haired girl did enter the room, he was still staring intensely at Rey.

             Ash looked at both Force Users; unsure what it was she had just missed, and also not sure if she actually wanted to know. “I reached them…” She mumbled.

            Kylo Ren pursed his lips; he did have to ask Luke exactly what was happening. He needed to be sure of Rey’s new ability, considering her new ability would make things very hard to tiptoe around. He nodded to the door, signaling for the other two Force Users to follow him to speak with his Uncle.

 

* * *

 

            “Predicting your actions?” Luke asked over the hologram, his brows furrowing as he tried to process what his nephew had told him. “Rey, what are you feeling?”

            “I was feeling normal.” Rey began. “But, I feel connected, even more so than I have been before. Like a door that had always been in front of me is now open.”

            He hummed in reply. “I think you three need to return as soon as possible to go over your new abilities.”

“We’re still missing a stone.” Kylo Ren interjected. “Until we find it, we can’t come back.”

            Luke smirked slightly. “If my nephew had any patience, he would know, that I’ve located the third stone.” Ash’s stomach tightened at the notion of her own stone. Especially considering that the two other stones were causing such uncertainty among her husband and friend. “Sith Lord Revan was given the Heart of the Guardian; when he died, it was left on the Yavin Station. The station still orbits Yavin Prime. Once you find the stone, return to Crait at once.”

             Ash frowned as the hologram ended. “That seems so… easy?”

“It won’t be.” Ren muttered. “The station is out in the open, which can attract scavengers, pirates and bounty hunters.”

            “What if the stone was already taken?” Rey asked.

Kylo Ren exhaled sharply. “I can guarantee it wasn’t.” He seemed almost too certain about that as he finally said. “Chewie; take us to Yavin Prime.”

 


	58. The Grey User

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ash takes her first steps into becoming who she needs to be

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So.. we're almost done. Like.. it's getting real. I just wrote the last chapter of this story and we have like maybe 10-15 chapters left. 
> 
> I can't believe it. It's surreal and this journey with you guys has been absolutely insane and wonderful and I can't thank y'all enough for sticking with this. 
> 
> Friendly reminder, if you're not getting emails or just want to follow for updates, we have a twitter. It's at CommandMech

* * *

 

The quiet hum of engines was always something that comforted Ash. When she first went to live with Laynor in the maintenance hangar, she would climb between the massive towers that kept the hangar operating and sit. It was the only place for the, at the time, fourteen-year-old girl to sit and let everything sink in.

            Being the only girl at the hangar, she had to toughen up as much as possible. She had to keep all emotions at bay and not give too much away. They didn’t accept weakness there and Ash would never give them such a courtesy to see her cry. However, every now and then, she needed to let the demons back out.

            That night, Ash climbed between two small components of the engine room that were much smaller than the ones on Lothal. Yet, the result was still the same. It was comfort; it was a distraction to get her away from the pain that seemed to always sink down on her at the worst moments.

         The pressure on her chest was heavy as she remembered all those she had lost. A night like this where the face of her young brother was hard to forget. A night where she could almost smell her mother cooking dinner in the kitchen. A night where Father had come home early to tell stories of the things he had seen. A night where they were all still alive.

          Since their passing, Ash hadn’t even gone as far as to say their names. It was as though they only existed in her mind and if she did say them, then maybe the memory of them would disappear with it. A silly notion, but one she clung to tightly. She was scared to let go.

          It was the same with Sid, Laynor and her old crew. They were gone. All of them had been erased and yet Ash tried so hard to keep their memories alive and locked away within her. Ghosts of her past that haunted her; ghosts of those who she couldn’t protect. If she couldn’t protect them, who was to say she could protect anyone?

         Darkness was tugging at the seams of her; trying to break in and rip apart the Grey she tried to balance within her. She knew who she was; Ashlyn Solo, a Grey User. Yet, right now, she didn’t know how to be that. Not with the darkness that was threatening to break through again.

          It had happened before when Kylo Ren abandoned her. She dove head first into it; shaped and molded within it. Yet, this was different. It was stronger. And it was coming from her husband, of all people.

           When she wasn’t around him, she had a clearer mindset. A better understanding at how the stone was also weighing him down. Yet, with him, she was ignorant to it all. Unable to fight it and pull away as it brought her down with him. What was Ashlyn to do? Surely, she couldn’t fight such a power. Neither could Rey. But, maybe they didn’t have to fight it? Maybe there was a way that the trio could help balance the radiating darkness. Maybe the other two stones were strong enough to curb Kylo Ren. And maybe, just maybe they weren’t.

        “You’re still his light, don’t forget that.” Ash looked up, seeing Anakin sitting across from her, smiling slightly as he did.

             “You said he could never be brought back to the light.” She reminded him.

He nodded. “I did. But that doesn’t mean you can’t help him from going under; protect him from the darkest of depths.”

            Ash exhaled dramatically, her shoulders slumping. “How am I supposed to protect him? Protect anyone? The ones I’ve tried to keep safe are gone...”

            “You need to learn to live with the loss, Ash.” Anakin explained softly. “It never goes away; trust me. There is not a day that goes by I don’t think of her. Even now. But, I conquered that grief and used it to save my son.”

            She could feel the tears begin to form in her eyes as she looked at him. “But how?”

“You can start by letting them still live, but not just locked away in your mind.” Anakin suggested. “Say their names; talk about them. Protect their memory by letting them exist in the galaxy.” Something about what Anakin said resonated within her. Protecting their memory. If she were to die, their names would never be spoken again, they’d never be known outside of her. At least, her family wouldn’t. “You will get through this. You’re going to have to if you want to find balance.”

            Ash smiled ever so slightly as Anakin began to fade, just as a darkened presence entered the engine room. His boots heavy on the metal ground as he came closer, looking at where Ashlyn was hiding and smirking. “Everything okay, Starshine?” He then saw the tears in her eyes, his smirk fading as he knelt down in front of her, where Anakin had just been. “Hey, what’s going on?”

            “I’m okay.” She answered, swallowing air as she tried to stable her breathing. If there was anyone she could talk to about anything; that person should have been her husband, right? So, in the quietest voice, she asked. “Can I tell you about Jacen?”

          Kylo Ren wasn’t sure who she was talking about at first, until the image of the small, blond boy flashed in his mind. She had never mentioned him in detail before, or rather willingly. Whatever Kylo Ren had discovered about the boy was in thoughts or dreams Ashlyn had. Which, always seemed to be tucked away in the back of her mind. The fact that she was even willing to share even just the tiniest of details with him was, in his mind, a step in the right direction. “Tell me.” He said softly.

          “I remember the day my mother told me she was pregnant. I couldn’t believe it--” She choked on a laugh as stray tears slowly fell down her cheeks. “I was nine at the time and I was so happy to be a big sister. He was so tiny; I didn’t think he was real. He was my favorite thing in the whole galaxy then; this little baby.” She spoke so fondly and endearing about her younger brother as Kylo Ren patiently listened. “He was such a free-spirit too. He loved to go on adventures, even at five years old. He was always playing and wanting to explore. I always told him when Mother allowed me to take piloting lessons, I would take him with me to so many new places and planets far, far away. She wasn’t exactly okay with the idea.” She paused, frowning slightly, yet still smiling. “I guess that’s why I like planets so much.”

            “You kept your promise.” Ren offered. “You travelled to different planets for him.”

“I wish I could have done it with him.” Ash replied sadly. “I would have given anything to see him grow up.”

            “Thank you for telling me about him.” Kylo Ren really did appreciate it.

Ash finally removed herself from between the two components and sat on Kylo Ren’s lap, resting her head against his shoulder. “Thank you for listening.”

            He turned his head to kiss the top of hers lovingly as he held her in his arms. “Rey put the stone in her lightsaber.” Kylo Ren informed her somewhat flatly. “And no, I didn’t freak out too much that she was defiling my grandfather’s saber.”

            Ash grinned. “I’m proud of you.” He snorted in reply as he continued to hold her. “Did we figure out anything else Rey can do?”

            “She just seems to be picking up on things around her at a very alarming rate. She could even sense you before I did. It’s like she’s experiencing a heightened level of insight that we aren’t.”

            “That seems helpful.”

“It will be when we battle Snoke.” Ren informed her. “With my strength, her insight--” He paused for a moment. “And whatever curveball the Force decides to throw at you…” Ash laughed at that. “We can make this work.”

            “I hope it’s nothing painful.” Ash replied. “Or at the very least, I hope it’s something helpful.”

            “You’re very helpful, Starshine.” Ren reminded her. “You keep me under control.”

She began to feel that tug towards the darkness the more she sat with Kylo Ren. “How’s that going, by the way?”

            He looked at her knowingly. “As well as expected.”

“So--” She began in a sing-song tone; moving on his lap so she was now straddling him. “Everything is on fire and imploding?”

            Ren chuckled as his arms reached around her back, his hands locking together to hold her there. “Precisely.” He looked into her green eyes, his smile faltering ever so slightly as he did. The electric feeling when they touched was as ever prominent as they sat there. Ash leaned forward, placing her forehead against his as her eyes closed peacefully. “There isn’t anything I wouldn’t do for you.”

            A sentiment she would have absolutely melted for. A sentiment, she **_should_** have loved hearing. However, there was some darkness lingering in his tone. An unfriendly reminder that even if Kylo Ren could be fueled by his love for Ashlyn, it was probably not the best idea when under such a dark influence. History had shown that with his grandfather.

* * *

  


            It almost became a habit for Lieutenant Brass to show up to the Ascension every night. He had learned about their little Sabacc game and immediately found himself enveloped within it. The Resistance members playing didn’t mind so much, it was another person to take credits from. That was, until, Brass started winning, that they had to get Poe Dameron involved.

            At first, Poe Dameron was convinced that Brass had been cheating. At least, that’s what he told himself when he first lost big the first night. Then, the tables turned when Poe Dameron took his winnings, and then some, back. By the fifth night of this, the duo had created a crowd of not just Resistance members, but a few Ascension members that were allowed down. This including General Hux. What started out as a quiet little competition, turned into a full out battle as Resistance members and Ascension members cheered for their champion.

            Hux had watched from a distance, in his hand a glass of whiskey from his own personal collection. He would not be subject to that awful beer any longer. It was amusing to him to see the Ascension and Resistance getting alone, or rather, enjoying the friendly competition so much that either side seemed to forget the war or their pasts in the first place.

            “Interesting, isn’t it?” Hux turned ever so slightly to see the woman standing next to him who was also admiring from afar. “Enemies only a month ago, and now look at them.”

            “General Organa.” Hux mused into his glass before taking a sip. “It seems gambling brings out the best in people.”

            “I believe it’s more the competition than anything.” Leia agreed slightly. “My late husband was a big fan of this one. He tried teaching our son Sabacc, before I put an end to that. The last thing we needed was teaching our, at the time, eleven-year-old to gamble.” She sensed Hux’s reservations when speaking to her, especially when she brought up Kylo Ren. “He’s informed me that he wants to take Snoke’s place; at least until a new ordered government can be involved. Where do you see yourself in all that?”

            Hux barely shrugged. “Wherever our Leader expects me to be.” He answered truthfully and somewhat loyally. “He won’t be like Snoke.” Hux tried to assure her.

            “That’s not what I’m afraid of.” Leia replied honestly. “I want to change the governing powers as much as he does. It’s been my goal since the New Republic came to power. However, I’m not sure he’s ready for that commitment. I don’t think the galaxy is ready for **_him_** , either.”

            “Then what is the galaxy ready for?”

Leia pursed her lips. “It needs more than one leader; we’ve seen what one person can do and it’s never worked. He’s going to need help and I need to know, General--” She turned enough to look at him. “That you will help my son do the right thing.”

            Hux shared similar fears with General Organa and in that moment, he realized it. Sure, Kylo Ren would take over the Galaxy. At least, he’d reorder the current governing powers at be and take the throne of power for now until a new ordered government came to pass. However, what if they weren’t ready to put a new power in? What if Kylo Ren was taken by the temptation of power and greed that came with his new title? It was a gamble, much like the game before them. Yet, there was still an ace up their sleeves, one that both Hux and Leia understood as Hux grinned. “I’m pretty sure your daughter-in-law would kill me if anything bad happened.”

            Leia’s intense stare softened as she offered a subtle smile. “I’m aware that Ash is still unknowing of the events that will take place.”

            “He believes it’s for the right reasons--”

“He’s going to have to stop doing that.” Leia reprimanded slightly; Hux was taken back by it. “Marriages don’t last if there’s too much secrecy.”

            “That’s going to be difficult.” Hux smirked, sipping his whiskey again as he muttered into the glass. “Your son is the king of secrets.” A loud uproar happened in front of the two Generals as Poe stood from the table, cheering along with the Resistance members that were watching. Brass was groaning; Hux could only imagine how bad the man had lost. “It appears you’ve won, General.” Leia said nothing as she continued to watch both groups interact. If things continued like this, maybe, just maybe, this could really end up being a win for both sides.

  


* * *

  


            The Falcon entered the orbit space around Yavin Prime. Debris floated all around them as the giant gas giant of Yavin Prime stared back at them. In the distance, they could see the small, floating station as it gently sat in space. “There it is.” Ren pointed to it from behind the copilot seat where Rey sat. Ash stood next to him, looking at the rusted space station. “Can you sense it?”

            Ash made a face as she stared at the station. According to Kylo Ren and Rey, they could both sense their stones when close enough to them. Ash couldn’t. “I don’t feel anything…” She answered truthfully.

            “Maybe it’s not there?” Rey suggested.

“It has to be. No one would know what it is if they just so happened to find it.” Kylo Ren explained. “It doesn’t look to be of any value. Chewie, take us closer so we can get on board.”

            “Are we all going?” Ash asked.

“Just you and me, Starshine.” Ren explained quickly. “We need them here to fight off anyone that may try to ambush us.” Chewie brought the Falcon closer to the station where the two could enter from without having to put on any gear.

            Ash was even more reluctant to do this than before. The Light and Dark Users seemed to have been able to bond with their stones, or rather had stones worth meaning. Her? There was still that space of unknown that she wasn’t exactly okay with. However, at least she was relieved to know that someone was coming with her onto the station. She didn’t think she could do it alone.

            Upon entering the station, Ash noticed a few things. One, this station was in utter need for repairs and was very surprised to see it hadn’t imploded yet. The fact that the station was even still working was a miracle in itself. The other thing she noticed was the dead and eerie silence that welcomed them the moment they set foot in the station. It was deserted, and for a reason Ash was pretty certain she didn’t want to find out.

            The two walked silently through the halls of the station, both knowing there were only so many places for this stone to hide in. “Anything yet?” Ren asked somewhat impatiently.

            Ash shook her head. “I should be feeling it by now, right?” Maybe it really wasn’t on board the station.

            Deeper into the station the two went until finally they found themselves entering the very last room. On the back wall was something strange. It looked like grey tree roots, growing out of the metal of the wall. The two stared at it cautiously, unsure what it was at first before slowly walking closer.

            “Is this it?” Ash asked, Kylo Ren didn’t answer as she continued moving closer. She turned around, looking at Kylo Ren as he stopped all together. He was beginning to feel sick as the darkness took over his eyes, turning them black as he tried to fight off the random surge of negative energy. “Ben?” Ash took a step towards him, to help him. However, she couldn’t move either as something held her back.

            A horrified expression came over Kylo Ren as he looked at his wife; the roots were were grabbing at her. As he tried to reach out for her, the roots grew even more and soon engulfed the red-haired girl completely. “ASH!” He shouted, stumbling as the pain of the darkness within him continued to grow increasingly out of control.

 

* * *

 

            “Ben!” Ash yelled at the sudden, black encasing around her. She was no longer able to see him or even feel him; the wall made sure of that. Ash turned around to see if there was anything locked in with her that she could use to help her escape. Except the rest of the ship was no longer there. In fact, she was now staring at an empty, grey plain before her. She turned back around, the black encasing was gone. Ash was trapped.

            Slowly, she began to walk forward in hopes to find some sort of distinguishing feature at least to tell her where she was. Except, there was nothing like that around. Everything was empty. “Where am I?” She asked to no one.

            “Hey, Kid.” That voice. That unmistakably calm and endearing voice. She knew that voice; it shook her to her very core as she looked around frantically for the person who made it. Finally, she saw him, standing there. His hands in his jumper pocket as he smiled warmly.

            Ash couldn’t find the words at first, her jaw falling slack as she barely whispered. “Sid?”

He smiled a little more. “It’s good to see you.”

            Her voice continued to crack as she tried to talk to him. “How?”

Sid looked around before shrugging. “Not a damn clue. But, we’re here for you.”

            Her brows furrowed together at his wording. “ _We?_ ”

He was beaming now. “Walk with me.” She didn’t need to be told twice as the two began walking through nothing. “So, I see you blew up my base. After all that noise about fixing it, you blew it up.” He was clearly teasing.

            “I had to stop them.” Ash admitted sheepishly. “Which meant blowing up StarKiller.”

Sid smirked knowingly then as his brow quirked upward. “And Kylo Ren? What happened to being so adamant about nothing going on?”

            Even in the absence of nothing, Sid was just as obnoxious as ever. “Are you just here to make fun of everything that’s happened?”

Sid chuckled. “Listen, kid. I’m proud of you. I’m proud of everything you’ve done from day one to now.”

            Ash pursed her lips, trying to find the words she had wanted to say. So many things had happened since Sid passed away, so many things were left unsaid. She decided, there was really only one thing she could say. “I miss you so much, Sid. I needed you, we all did. We did the best we could without you, but we still needed you.”

            His smile was a little sadder now. “No, you didn’t. They made it through because of you. You did the best you could.”

            Ash smiled slightly, her eyes scanning at the emptiness in front of her that never seemed to have an end. “Any idea what this place is? Am I dead?”

            “You are most certainly not dead, kid.” Sid chuckled. “And I’m not sure what this place really is. I just know I needed to be here for you.”

            Ash looked down at her feet, noticing how her steps made no sound as she walked. This place was curious, to say the least. She looked back up to ask Sid another question only to notice he was beginning to walk away from her. “Where are you going?” She asked, desperately.

            “You don’t need to hold on so tightly to me anymore, Ash.” He said as he continued to walk. “We said our peace, now make it with the rest of them.”

            Ash ran after him, trying to catch up only to realize it seemed impossible to do so. He was fading further and further into the distance. “Sid!” She called out to him. Nothing. She was answered with a continuous nothing.

 

* * *

 

            Like Kylo Ren had predicted, the station was within open range of being attacked, which also meant so was the Falcon. A passing pirate starship spotted the Falcon, noting it’s wanted ranking amongst five systems and of course, with the First Order. Soon, Rey and the Wookie found themselves trying to dodge the canons of this rogue ship, while Rey tried to contact Kylo Ren and Ash to no avail. Something was wrong, but first, they needed to get rid of their new pirate friends.

 

            Kylo Ren jolted awake on the floor of the station. He wasn’t sure when he passed out, but he had. The darkness that threatened to takeover had been subdued for now. He was suddenly faced with a glaring reminder that Ash was gone. He quickly stood, a little woozy at first, and took out his lightsaber. With swift and powerful attacks, he tried to break through the grey roots that held his wife captive. Nothing was working, the barrier didn’t budge.

* * *

  


            Ashlyn kept wandering, unsure where she was headed or if she was just going in circles. Then again, did circles exist in the absence of nothing? She wasn’t all too sure. She wanted answers; she wanted something stable in this void, something to remind her that she wasn’t lost. “Oh no, did you come here to break something?” Ash turned towards the voice; a rather large man was grinning at her. While she was happy to see him, if it was anything like Sid, she knew that meant he didn’t make it off StarKiller that day.

            “Grim…” She smiled sadly as the twins walked around him, smiling back at her. “You’re all here too?”

            “Couldn’t have a family reunion without them.” Grim beamed. “Because we are family, Ash. It only makes sense we’re here together one last time.”

She didn’t dare ask about Taka. Instead, she apologized for everything and nothing all the same. What was Ashlyn so sorry for? What had she been holding onto? A guilt and grief that only she seemed to keep. “I’m sorry.” She said. “I’m sorry you’re all here. I’m sorry for what happened, and that I couldn’t help.”

            Grim and the twins exchanged glances before Grim laughed. “There you go again, apologizing for something out of your control. Ash, we were happy for the time we had with you. Others need you now more than we do.”

            As Ash began to wander closer, the trio began to fade. “No, please, don’t go…” She begged, her words falling on deaf ears as they disappeared altogether.

            “Stubborn as ever.” He grumbled as he slowly appeared. “Didn’t listen to me when I said to lay low, didn’t listen when I warned you not to return... “ He sighed, smiling now. “You were always so stubborn. Sharp as a tack… but so very stubborn.”

            Ash shook her head. “No, I can’t do this…” She began to break down. “I can’t handle seeing everyone and losing you all over again.”

            Laynor smiled knowingly. “Ashlyn, you still don’t understand.” She looked at him, confused at first as he explained. “You never lost us. We’ve always been here. We’ve always been in your thoughts; we’ve been beside you through all of it. You’ve been holding onto the pain; not the memories of us. You just never understood it. You need to learn to let it go.”

            “How can I let you all go? I can’t just do that.” She argued.

“Because holding onto us means you’ll lose those who really need you most.” Laynor explained. “You don’t need us now. There are others who need your help; others that need your protection. It’s okay to let the pain of us go. We will always be with you. Once you realize that, you’ll find the balance.”

            It stung. All of it stung. It hurt like nothing she had ever felt before. Yet, there was a strange comfort in his words. A comfort that she had needed all this time that no one else could give to her.

            “Now, I know I didn’t help you let out your aggressions; losing your family was hard enough on a young girl. I wasn’t strong enough to help you. But I know you can do it. You’ve always been so strong, so willing to help and protect despite all that’s happened. Can’t you see that?”

            Ash looked down. “Losing Jacen; my parents. I couldn’t handle it. I couldn’t figure out how to move passed it.” She looked back up, afraid he was gone. He wasn’t. Laynor still stood there, smiling warmly.

            “It’s time you learn.” He nodded behind Ash.

Her heart leapt in her chest; her pulse thudding in her ears as she hesitantly turned around to see them. They looked exactly as she remembered, her father, her mother; Jacen. They were smiling, happy to see her. They didn’t look sick, or in pain. No, they looked happy.

            “Ashlyn.” Her mother smiled. “It’s okay. Everything will be okay.”

Ash had been silently crying then as she stared at them. “I miss you all.” She said. “I miss you all so much.”

            “We know.” Her father said. “And we are so proud of what you’ve become; what you will do. You need to be strong now. You need to do something great and you can’t if you hold onto us the way you do.”

            “I don’t want to lose you.” Ash’s voice was small; childlike.

“No, my daughter.” Her mother replied. “As Laynor said, as we’ve all said… we will always be with you. Whenever you need us, we will always be there in spirit. You need to let go of the pain, of the hurt you’ve held onto for so long.”

            Ash shook slightly, overwhelmed by what she was hearing. “What if I can’t?”

Her parents looked at each other knowingly before looking back at their daughter. “You will. He needs you now more than ever. You can’t be there if you continue to stop living. Keep living for us; keep moving forward for all of us.”

            They were right, they had all been right. She needed to let go of the pain, the hatred, the anger. The guilt of not helping them. They all held no resentment towards her, they made that clear. It was then, Ashlyn Solo learned to let go.

            “We love you, sweetheart.” Her mother said, as they began to disappear.

Jacen waved at his big sister, smiling brightly as though nothing awful had ever happened to him. “Bye, Ash!”

            Ashlyn smiled, crying a little bit harder as they all disappeared again. A sense of relief washing over her body; forgiveness that she needed from herself finally finding its way to her. She was finally free to move on as the weight of guilt subsided.

            Ash wiped her eyes from the tears that had fallen; sniffling as she tried to compose herself. Then… she felt it. That call; the pull that resonated through her entire being as a small, amber rock appeared in front of her. This was it, the Heart of the Guardian.

            She swallowed hard, inhaling deeply. A new found resolve that began to resonate through her as she reached forward. The absence of nothing around her dissolving.

 

* * *

 

            The root enclosure finally pulled back as Ashlyn fell forward, stumbling to find her footing. She never did as she was suddenly swept up in Kylo Ren’s arms. He held her close to him, not wanting to let her go as he kissed her over and over again from worry. “What the hell was that?” He asked her between kisses, his voice full of panic.

            Ash pulled away slightly, looking up at him and noticing the black in his eyes were gone again. She looked back down at her tightly clenched fist; opening it slowly, revealing the amber stone.

            “You found it?” He asked incredulously.

“Yeah--” She answered, somewhat breathlessly. “I just needed to learn to let go first…”

            Before Ren could ask what she meant, Rey’s voice came over the commlink again. “Are you guys okay?!”

            Ash frowned. “How long has she been trying to reach us?”

Ren grimaced slightly. “A while…”

            “You…. didn’t answer her, did you?” She asked knowingly.

He put Ash down then, matching her frown as she grabbed the commlink from Kylo Ren. “I was a little busy trying to get to you.” He explained flatly.

            “Rey, we’re okay.” Ash said over the commlink. “I found the stone, we’re ready to go.”

“Oh, fantastic!” Rey replied sarcastically. “We’ve just been fighting space pirates for the last hour!” Ash and Kylo Ren looked at each other. “Meet us at the door, we have to get out of here!”

            Ash began to walk to the exit, Kylo Ren grabbed her wrist gently, forcing her to stop. “You seem different.” He noticed.

            Ash smiled slightly, looking back at him. “I think I finally found my strength again.” Ash explained cryptically. “I know what I have to do and I’m going to do it.”

            “Well, that’s good to hear… I think.”

With a chuckle, she quickly leaned up and kissed his cheek. “It is and I love you.”

            Kylo Ren was actually smitten by that. Something inside him exploded with positive energy at the idea that his wife seemed to have found her peace all the while telling him she loved him. Something about that was overwhelmingly wonderful to him.

            “You two better not be making out!” Rey yelled over the commlink. “Get to the Falcon!”

Ash and Ren shared a quick laugh before running for the exit. It was better to not keep the Light User waiting any longer.

 

A new age was upon them as the Dawn of the Grey User was finally beginning.

 


	59. Unraveling

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Something is changing... spiraling out of control

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys, so, I've started slowing down on the updates thing. I know. The reason being is that the story isn't getting as much traction as it was, which could be a number of things. One being that the Star Wars craze died down after the movie came out, I'm updating too frequently for people to keep up, or the quality in my writing is suffering. 
> 
> I'm going to work harder at getting better quality chapters for you guys, considering I don't even edit these chapters after I write them. I'm sure you can tell from the fun spelling mistakes and all that lol. Either way, there is going to be a bigger gap going forward. 
> 
> Also, please remember to comment, it's the only way I can get a feel of where we are all at with this story and what to change if I have to. To those who have been commenting, you rock. You just seriously rock. Thank you all for your continued support and love for this story.

 

 

* * *

 

 

             As promised, new equipment was delivered to the Resistance base on Crait. Compliments of General Hux, to which the Resistance technicians were more than happy to install. There was a serene calm that overtook the base that morning as Hux and Phasma oversaw the installations. A calmness that was destined to be disrupted once the Force Users returned to the base that day.

            Poe Dameron and Finn, even with their reservations on the whole matter, couldn’t hide the shock that Hux made good on his promise as they watched different tech machines get installed. Poe smiled brightly as he looked at the General and Captain; he patted Hux on the back who just looked more displeased with the friendly gesture as he did. “Not bad, Hux.”

            “I always keep my promises, pilot.” Hux reminded him dryly.

Finn was a little less hesitant to speak to Phasma and Hux as of late; perhaps he was finally learning to trust them? Or rather, he was learning not to despise their existence as much. “We really do appreciate it.” He offered. “Maybe we can work together.”

            Phasma’s lips quirked upward ever so slightly at his suggestion. “Are you saying we’re friends now, FN-2187?” She was clearly teasing him.

            He frowned, smirking. “Not on your life, chrome dome.”

The calm serenity that was hanging by a thread immediately dissipated then as the base became increasingly aware of the Falcon returning to the atmosphere. Hux noted their quiet uproar as he sighed, looking to the group. “It appears our favorite troublemakers have returned. Shall we?”

            Poe grimaced. “As long as he doesn’t throw me across the room again… I think we’ll be fine.” Hux and Phasma only snickered in reply, which gave little confidence to Poe Dameron. “He’s going to throw me across the room again, isn’t he?” Finn patted the worried pilot on the back before they made their way to the landing area to greet their friends.

 

* * *

 

            Ash looked at her reconstructed lightsaber as though it were foreign to her. It didn’t feel right in her hands. It felt heavier, which made no sense to the girl, the stone was only a few ounces, if that. Her lips formed a thin line as she lingered on it. She hadn’t felt any changes since she received the stone. Nothing gave her away that said ‘Ashlyn has new abilities’. She didn’t even feel differently to Kylo Ren or Rey. She was still Ashlyn, the Grey User, and nothing more.

            In the back of her mind, she began to doubt if she could even use the stone. What if she wasn’t at that place yet where the stone connected with her? What if she never reached it? It was safe to say that this was yet another unnecessary stress on the poor, exhausted girl.

            “How odd.” Kylo Ren’s baritone voice distracted her as he walked over to the exit ramp. She perked up slightly, looking at him from across the room as he somewhat patiently waited for the ramp to descende. “Hux and Phasma are down here… and no one seems to be second guessing that.”

            Ash frowned, knowing her husband. “That’s a good thing, right?”

“Perhaps the Ascension and Resistance have learned to work together in our absence.” Ren suggested as Rey walked into the room, her satchel slung over her shoulder as she adjusted her lightsaber to her belt.

            “Maybe we should leave more often then?” She jested, walking over to Ash and placing her arm around her friend’s shoulders in the most comforting manner she could muster. She sensed the hesitation within her friend; the doubt that was beginning to form as the trio were still uncertain of what new ability Ash would receive. “Anything yet?”

            Ash looked down at her lightsaber again before placing it at her belt in aggravation. “Nothing.”

            “It will come to you soon.” Rey said with hope. “I know it will.”

“I’d trust her, Starshine.” Ren quipped as the ramp fully descended. “She has a heightened insight now.” While not exactly a dig at Rey, it was more of a backwards compliment to make Ash feel better.

            Ash sighed, leaning a little more into Rey as she placed her head on her shoulder. Rey just smiled. “Come on, let’s go see everyone.”

            The trio descended the ramp as an awkward shift in the room came. No one was certain if they should be happy to see Kylo Ren or not, yet they knew they should at least be happy seeing Ash and Rey returning safely. It was a very off-balanced reunion to say the least.

            Rey couldn’t help it as she detached herself from Ashlyn and immediately ran to Finn, hugging him tightly. Ash didn’t mind one bit as she smiled at the sight knowingly. She knew exactly what Finn meant to Rey. Something neither one had really expressed yet; it was innocent in a way.

            She was pulled from her thoughts when the smiling pilot walked up to her, hugging her tightly with any hesitation in the action. Poe Dameron was worried about her, the last time he saw her she had slowly begun to deteriorate into madness. “Welcome back, First Order.”

            Ash smiled a little more then as she hugged him back. In the back of her mind praying that Kylo Ren wasn’t going to kill him for hugging her. Even though she felt his anger start to rise ever so slightly, she was grateful he didn’t do anything stupid. Ash pulled back from Poe, her attention turning to Phasma and Hux as they exchanged knowing smirks. “I’m surprised to see you two greeting us.”

            “We can’t let them have all the fun down here.” Phasma mused, rolling her eyes as she sighed at the smiling and eager redhead. “Alright, we can hug.” Ash laughed as Phasma leaned down slightly to hug the much shorter girl. “We’re happy you’re back.”

            “I’m happy to be back.” Ash confirmed as the two women pulled away.

Hux and Ren looked at each other, their expressions saying it all as Hux said. “I’m not hugging you.”

            “C’mon, Hux.” Ren teased dryly. “You know you missed me.”

“I thought I did until you spoke.” Hux retorted. Poe really began to understand the Hux/Ren dynamic; perhaps their story of the Academy really did check out. “However, I will hug your wife.”

               Kylo Ren’s eyes narrowed. “Watch it, Armitage.”

Hux beamed as he ignored Ren’s warning and hugged Ashlyn anyway; the girl was not helping the situation as she laughed and hugged him back. “She gives the best hugs.” Hux said as the two pulled away.

               “Anyway--” Ren interrupted, changing the subject to more pressing matters than hugging. “We need to understand the stones we found. Where is General Organa and Luke Skywalker?”

               “Your mother was reaching out to potential allies earlier this morning.” Hux explained, not giving in to Ren’s demand to ignore the fact that Leia was, in fact, his mother. “As for Luke, he’s awaiting you three in the debriefing area.” The same courtesy, however, did not apply to Luke Skywalker. At least Hux was obviously aware that Ren didn’t despise his mother as much as he despised his uncle. This gesture, of course, did not go unnoticed by Kylo Ren as he merely began to walk towards the debriefing area.

                Ash, fumbling slightly at the sudden exit of Kylo Ren, looked to her friends and began to follow. But, not before tapping Rey on the shoulder, who was still very much being entertained by Finn. Another moment taken from them as a higher power called.

 

* * *

 

               Luke was meditating in the debriefing area, one of the only places he could do so in peace, aside from the mines, while wait for the Force Users to return. He felt their presence on base the moment they arrived as he channeled his Force energy. It had been so long since he had done so; he wanted nothing more than to outcast himself and never speak of the Force, the Jedi or what had happened ever again. Then Rey showed up. He needed to guide her, or at least, that’s what Yoda pestered him into doing. His very exuberant master that to this day still did not leave him alone.

               Kylo Ren stormed in first, as was to be expected in Luke’s mind, a scowl on his face as he walked over to a nearby seat and plopped down. “We’re here.” He mused dryly.

The girls followed in next. “So, I see.” Luke returned his tone before smiling somewhat warmly to the girls. “Welcome back. We have so much to cover and no time to do it.” He motioned to the remaining chairs. Rey sat first, Ash hesitated a moment but finally decided to sit between Kylo Ren and Rey. “It’s come to my attention that Ben has been given a very intense version of Force Rage. A very deep and dark connection full of power and corruption.” He looked at his nephew. “I can sense it now as it dwells within you. You must be careful to not be consumed by it.” Kylo Ren clicked his tongue to the roof of his mouth; his only rebuttal in the matter as Luke turned his attention to Rey next. “Your stone has given you insight at a very heightened rate. You can sense things within the Force at the very instance they are happening. This can be very useful when being attacked or manipulated by the Dark Side. You must learn how to harness this gift.”

              Rey nodded. “Yes, Master Skywalker.”

Ash looked at the unenthused Kylo Ren, then to Rey, then back to Luke. “What about my stone?” She asked.

            Luke’s expression was unreadable as he thought for a moment; pausing to take in the situation before coming to a simple conclusion. “I don’t know.”

            Ren’s brow quirked up. “You don’t know?” He repeated.

“I can’t sense what powers it holds. The ability is still locked within the stone and within Ashlyn. Until she can learn to harness it, it will remain that way.” Luke explained. “You must train; all of you. Learn to work together with your gifts. Perhaps in doing so, you can help Ash learn her gift.”

            Ash deflated slightly in her chair. “So, I’m useless until we figure it out?”

“I wouldn’t say **_useless_** \--” Luke began.

            Kylo Ren visibly stiffened in his chair. “She’s not useless.”

“She’s not.” Rey said more in Luke’s defense. “She just needs help unlocking her potential.”

            “He didn’t have to say it like that.” Ren argued back.

“He’s doing the best he can with what he has to work with--” And the two were back at each other’s throats. That moment of peace; that failed truce was over.

            With an exhausted sigh, Ash stood from her seat. “Unbelievable.” She muttered before excusing herself and leaving the room as it fell silent. After Ashlyn left, Luke frowned at his nephew. “You know what I’m going to say, Ben.” Kylo Ren rolled his eyes as aggravation took over. “You need to learn to control your own stones before we can even help her. That goes for both of you.”

            “I’m doing just fine, thank you very much.” Ren practically growled.

“Really now?” Luke replied knowingly. “Tell me; how long have you been feeling it? The drastic and devastating pull down into the darkest depths, darker than you had ever imagined?”

            His lips formed a tight, thin line as he folded his arms over his chest. “You assume so much of my inabilities and not my capabilities.”

            “I’m not the one trying to hide.”

Ren’s brow quirked upwards. “Says the man who ran away to an uncharted planet to get away from his problems.”

            Rey’s attention turned from one man to the other, and back. Her mind putting the pieces together; pieces to a puzzle she wasn’t sure he wanted to have. Pieces that began to make sense that the darkness she had been feeling; the pull downward that she had, in her mind, assumed was Snoke, was actually Kylo Ren. The feeling was eerily similar. “How long has this been going on?” She asked, her tone surprisingly patient. Her concern was displaced; she wasn’t exactly worried for Kylo Ren, but more so their mission and of course, Ashlyn.

            “ ** _Nothing_** is going on.” Ren snapped as he stood from his chair. “Except the fact that my wife can’t use her stone properly. Instead of pointing fingers at me, how about we figure out a way to solve the problem.”

            “We can’t if you’re not balanced either.” Luke tried to explain.

“I’M FINE.” Ren shouted, his entire being tensing as the surge of darkness pulsated through him. He shut his eyes tightly, his body stiff as he balled his fists. He sensed it. Fear. Fear was growing from within Rey and Luke… and ultimately within himself. A small and troubling part of him that was slowly beginning to be afraid of what he could do. He inhaled sharply, focusing to push out the negative wave of energy as his voice quieted. “I’m fine.” He said again. Who was he trying to convince?

            Rey stared at him, horrified. Now that she could sense things just a little more clearly, she was ashamed at not having known this struggle pulsating through him beforehand. Sure, she was dealing with a strange and new heightened sense, but Kylo Ren? He was dealing with something much more sinister.

            Without another word, Kylo Ren turned and left the debriefing room, leaving Luke Skywalker and Rey alone to take in what had just happened. While their concerns were necessary over the state of Ashlyn; they had another problem coming to light. Kylo Ren had really been the one unravelling all along.

           

 

* * *

 

            Ash awkwardly stood in the main entrance of the Crait base, watching as new pieces of equipment were being installed, something she wasn’t too entirely sure how that whole ordeal came to be. Yet, at least the Ascension and the Resistance were getting along unlike some people she knew. “Ms. Novafall.” General Hux addressed the girl as he walked over to her. He had noticed her hanging out and looking, truthfully, a little lost and uncertain.

            She continued staring at the new equipment being installed as General Hux stood next to her. “Hux, its Mrs. Solo now.”

He smirked, clearly teasing. “Right, how could I forget?” Ash side-eyed him. “I trust your mission went well?”

            Hesitantly, although, she knew she shouldn’t have done so. Hux was someone who could easily catch any tell-tale sign from a person. It was in their mannerisms, he could tell a lot from a person. “It did.”

            His brow quirked upward. Damn, she knew what was coming. “I expect Kylo Ren to keep secrets from me, considering it’s all he knows how to do. However, I didn’t expect it from his wife. What happened?”

            Ash frowned in disapproval at his insinuation; the fact that he was comparing her to her husband in such a negative way while also bringing back to light his consistent need to keep secrets from everyone… including her. “We’ve been getting along so well lately, Hux. Don’t ruin it now.” Ash retorted with a sigh. “We found our stones.” She answered truthfully.

            “From what I understand that’s a good thing.”

“It would be if mine worked.” Ash answered; Hux’s expression dropped.

            “Well, that is quite the problem.”

“No kidding.” Ash retorted. “It could be a factor of many things. I’m unbalanced with the Force; I’m exhausted, Snoke, stress… I don’t know.”

            Hux’s lips pursed ever so slightly. “So, the stone is working, you’re just not using it properly?” Ash fully looked at him now. “There are many things to be stressed about, Ashlyn. Trust me. I’m leading a rogue army, I’ve aligned myself with my enemies whom clearly hate me, oh and your husband is a dick. Stress is only part of the job. However, I’ve learned to live with it. Maybe you need to learn to live with your stress too.”

            “I’m trying.” Ash explained. “I’ve learned to let go of a lot of things these past few weeks.”

“You do seem--” He tried to find the right term and only found one. “Happier.”

She snorted at his reply before nodding back at the new equipment. “So, what’s this all about?”

            “Are you not happy that I’ve made friends with the Rebels?”

“No, this was actually a breath of fresh air. I just wasn’t expecting it.” Ash tried to reason. “Last I heard, Leia didn’t want you guys to even come here. Now you’re walking amongst them without much alarm on their part.”

            Hux grinned. “It’s because I’m not your husband. I can be civil.”

“He can too.” She argued as Hux gave her a knowing look. “He just doesn’t want to be… ever.”

            “There we go.” He agreed with a chuckle. “Will you both be returning to the destroyer? I’m told we have much better sleeping arrangements than down here. To be fair though, Brass **_did_** fall asleep on a table…” Ash made a face, trying to understand what backstory came with that one. “You missed one hell of a Sabacc tournament between the Ascension and Resistance. Well, between my Lieutenant and their pilot.”

            “Why do you all keep calling him that? He’s their Commander, you know?”

“I’m fully aware of his rank, Mrs. Solo. I also am fully aware of what Mr. Solo thinks of him and this is my only attempt to keep some peace in this. Downplaying Commander Dameron keeps Kylo Ren happy.”

            Ash nodded, getting a better understanding of how Hux worked. “You play his game well, General.”

“It’s the only way I’ve survived this long. Once you learn to play the game, even if you’ll never win, you at least have a shot of survival.”

            She exhaled sharply at that notion. “Good to know I’ll forever be fighting in some sick and twisted power struggle.”

            Hux scoffed. “My dear, you’re the only piece on the board that even stands a fighting chance against him.” She smiled at his sentiment. “I’ve always said, if anyone could beat Kylo Ren at his game, it would be you.”

            “Are you done corrupting my wife, Hux?” Kylo Ren asked as he walked over to the ginger and fiery redhead.

The two turned to face him, both snickering ever so slightly. “Corrupting your wife? I’m merely just reminding her how powerful she truly is.”

            Ash rolled her eyes playfully at the man. “Have you both decided to stop arguing yet?” She was clearly talking about Rey; although, oblivious to the bigger issue at hand.

 “To an extent.” Ren agreed dryly. “We begin training tomorrow. Skywalker recommends we meditate and clear our heads until then.”

            “Does this mean I can actually go to sleep in a real bed again?” She asked excitedly.

Kylo Ren chuckled. “Yes, we can return to the destroyer tonight and sleep in a **_real bed_**.” That was probably the best news she had received that day. After sleeping, or rather barely sleeping, on a twin sized bed in the Falcon for almost two weeks, a real bed sounded wonderful. “We’ll take the shuttle now, there are a few things I want to take care of up there anyway. If we hurry we can get on the ship before Hux does and leave him behind.” He smirked evilly as he began to walk towards the Ascension transport.

            “He wouldn’t dare.” Hux grumbled.

Ash beamed a she began to follow her husband. “You know he would.” Hux swiftly followed after them knowing Ashlyn was disgustingly correct. He would get left behind if Kylo Ren had the opportunity to do so.

           

 

* * *

 

            Being the wife of the Leader of the Ascension had its perks when Ashlyn really sat and thought about it. Their shared room was bigger and better than anything she had ever slept in before, even Kylo Ren’s old apartment on StarKiller. Their new room she barely got to enjoy considering they only spent on night there before flying to Crait. The other perk was the food. She swore either the food was just better on the destroyer or they really went out of their way to please the Leader and his wife. Then again… it was probably out of fear if things were not up to par. Ashlyn decided she was going to change that stigma over her being just as much of a tyrant as her husband.

            A mission for another day, however, as she lounged around in her shared apartment with Kylo Ren. A fruit platter on the table in front of her as she reclined on the couch. Okay, maybe she could get used to this. However, she knew more than anything she didn’t want to just be the wife of a leader. She wanted to actually **_do_** something. That was when the boredom set in.

            Ash sighed, noticing it had only been twenty-minutes and the rose colored glasses of being just his wife shattered. She was used to doing something; being useful. So, Ashlyn Solo was going to be useful.

            The destroyer was huge; with winding halls that felt like a maze as Ashlyn wandered them. She was slowly beginning to hate the constant stoppage of personnel as they saluted her before carrying on in their business whenever she passed them. How Kylo Ren dealt with it, she’d never know.

            That wasn’t going to stop her on her mission from finding something to do, however. She knew Kylo Ren was in a meeting, or rather, it was more of a debriefing from Hux, Phasma and Brass over what he missed out on while they were on their own mission. Hopefully, if she disrupted him, he wouldn’t be too mad.

            She found the room where they were meeting in and stood outside, her stomach beginning to swarm with nerves as to what she was actually allowed to do and not allowed to do. She never had to deal with this kind of thing before. Ashlyn was always a second or third class citizen when it came to ranks, especially on StarKiller. She never needed to go to any meetings or knew exactly where she placed in all that. Did she just walk in? Did she knock? Stars, this was turning more into a thing than she had ever planned for.

            ‘ _Yes, Starshine?’_ Oh good, he felt her panicking. Of course, he did.

‘ _Hi.’_

She could hear the chuckle in his voice as he replied. ‘ _Hi.’_

_‘Am I allowed in?’_ The door slid open, answering her question as she peeked into the debrief room, the same room she first sat in when she found out about the Ascension. Kylo Ren was smirking as he sat at the round table with Phasma, Hux, and Brass.

            Ash finally walked into the room as the door closed behind her, Brass was beaming when he saw her. “It’s the Missus!” He exclaimed. “Good to see you again, love.”

            “My wife appears to be bored.” Ren explained coolly.

“I can guarantee you this is not any better.” Phasma complained.

            Ash decided to ask, what harm was there in asking for something to do? “I need to keep busy.” She explained quickly. “Otherwise I get into all sorts of trouble.”

            “Brass--” Kylo Ren said, knowing exactly how to curb this need for some sort of action from his wife. “Can you show Ashlyn to the maintenance wing? I’m sure she can entertain herself there.”

            “I’d be delighted.” Brass winked at Ash before jumping up from his seat and walking over to the red head. “Shall we?”

She looked at Kylo Ren, somewhat thankful that he was willing to give her something to do. He was still smirking just as smug as ever as Brass lead Ashlyn out of the debriefing room.

 

* * *

 

              “I’m sorry for taking you from your meeting.” Ash said. “You don’t need to come with me.”

Brass laughed. “Please, I hate meetings. This was such a relief. Besides, now I can get to know you a little better.”

            She liked Brass, even if they did start off on the wrong foot. Granted, it wasn’t his fault. He was just following orders. He wasn’t the one hiding a secret army from his wife. She also found it curious how flirtatious Brass naturally was and how that didn’t seem to upset Kylo Ren, considering he called her ‘ ** _love_** ’ and all. “I realized, and I’m sorry for not asking sooner, but, I don’t actually know what your name is. I assume Brass is not your actual name?”

            He grinned. “Nyennis. Lieutenant Nyennis Brass. But, your husband and the gang have been calling me Brass since the Academy. It’s stuck since then.”

It made sense. None of the Ascension higher-ups seemed to call anyone by their first name, only last. Then Ash realized she didn’t actually know Phasma’s full name either. That was something she’d have to pester the woman about, considering she had a feeling that was information Phasma did not so willingly give out. “You were at the Academy with them?” Ash asked.

             “Yes ma’am.” Brass smiled fondly at the memory of what felt so long ago. “I’ve got a ton of dirt on your husband, so let me know when you want to hear any of it.”

Ash smirked. “I’ll keep that in mind.”

              “So, you don’t like to sit still, huh?” Brass deduced. “I kind of figured that out when we first met. You’re a wildfire. I didn’t know that also came with maintenance duties?” Brass asked. “How did that all work out?”

               “I’ve been working on ships, engines, cooling units; you name it, since I was fourteen. Roughly thirteen years now. I’ve had a knack for it, I guess.” Ash explained. “I was hired on StarKiller as freelance, which eventually turned into being head of maintenance after a tragic accident on sight. It was a difficult decision, but I’m glad I stayed.”

              “Believe me, we all are.” Brass informed her. “I was stationed to keep an eye on the Finalizer, but Phasma would keep me in the loop on her visits there. She also kept me up to speed on what Kylo Ren was doing as well as his new apprentice.”

            “I’m sure that was a scary notion, it came from left field for you guys. I know I wasn’t expecting it.” Ash laughed.

            Brass laughed with her. “I’m glad it happened. The Finalizer is a dull place and nothing made me happier knowing there was a woman who could tame our fearless leader. Stars know that Hux and Phasma couldn’t keep him at bay.” He grinned mischievously as he looked at Ashlyn. “It was also really interesting finding out just how smitten he was.”

            Ash blushed. “I doubt he was so obvious like that.”

“You really didn’t see it?” Brass asked incredulously as Ash shook her head. “He couldn’t stop thinking about you. When Phasma found out, she did everything in her power to keep it from public knowledge. She deliberately disobeyed direct orders to even tell Hux what was happening. When he did find out, she begged him to not out you two. Then, it just so happens they needed your help anyway. Guess it all worked out for the better.”

              Ash bit her lip. “I never knew that.”

“Apparently, you also didn’t realize just how much you meant to our fearless leader.”

            “You guys seem to know Kylo Ren a lot better than I do.”

“Nah--” Brass cheekily smiled. “We’ve just known him longer. You get to see a side of Kylo Ren that we never imagined existed.” Ash let that sink in for a moment. Sure, Hux, Phasma and Brass all knew Kylo Ren for a very long time, they watched him change and become who he is today. They knew him better than she did. But, Brass was right. She knew him in a way that no one would ever understand or possibly even see. She knew Ben Solo, or rather, what was left of Ben Solo. “Here we are!” Brass exclaimed as the two entered a rather large work area. It was empty at the moment, but there was a ton of gadgets and tools Ash could use. Ash smiled brightly at the sight before her. Even StarKiller didn’t have such a collection of tools. “Alright, can you tell me what half this stuff does? I really have no clue.”

            Ash rolled her eyes as she continued to smile. “Come on, Brass. Let’s go over some Maintenance 101.”

 

* * *

 

            “Our eyes on the inside of the Finalizer has told us that Snoke and the Supremacy have been moved in formation together.” Phasma explained as she pulled up the hologram of the Supremacy.

             Ren frowned at the image. “Paranoia?”

“Or they’re getting ready to attack.” Hux added. “As of yesterday, they’ve begun building up and preparing their fighters. We can expect them on our doorstep sooner rather than later.”

            “You think they’ll come here?” Kylo Ren asked.

Phasma nodded. “I’m certain of it. Our location is still unknown, but it’s only a matter of time.”

            Ren’s lips pursed as he continued to stare intently at the hologram. “Then we need to get ready; same as the Resistance.”

            Hux leaned forward, looking at Kylo Ren. “Do you want to tell her or shall I?” He gave him an uncertain look, not sure where this was going until he spoke again. “Ashlyn’s stone doesn’t work.”

            Phasma’s expression was hard; unmoving as she looked at Kylo Ren. “For certain?”

Ren glared. “It works. She just hasn’t figured out how to use it yet.”

            “We are running out of time, Ren. She needs to figure it out sooner rather than later.” Phasma said. “The First Order could move any day now and Snoke--”

            “I know.” Kylo Ren snapped. “I am well aware of the pressure we are under.” The room fell silent as the weight of the situation began to horribly sink in. If Ash couldn’t do what she was supposed to do, then how the hell was any of this supposed to work? There was no way they could defeat Snoke without the power of all three stones. “This does not get out.” His voice dark. “No one is to find out about Ash and the stone. As far as they all should know, there are no problems. Are we clear?” They didn’t respond at first. “Are we clear?” He repeated with a much angrier tone.

              “Sir.” Hux and Phasma responded simultaneously.

Kylo Ren did something he typically did not do, especially in front of others, he showed a sign of weakness. He propped his elbows onto the table, his head resting in his hands as his fingers found his long locks and began to tug gently.

            Phasma and Hux exchanged concerned glances, Hux being the first to drop their professional facade before speaking. “Ren?”

            “I need to go away for a while.” He mumbled bitterly towards the table; the overwhelming sense of dread filling the room over his new revelation began to swarm him as he exhaled. “I have things to sort out before I can go any further with this.”

            While Hux panicked over the sudden revelation, Phasma took a more nurturing approach. She had seen Kylo Ren fall apart a few times now, the last being over Ashlyn. This was an entirely different beast. “What’s wrong?” When he didn’t immediately answer, Phasma grew sterner. “Ren, what is wrong?”

            He sat up then, no longer using his elbows for support as he looked at the duo before him. “I need to clear my head.” That was not comforting in any sense. “I need to adjust to the power the stone is giving me and I need to do it alone. I shouldn’t be gone long.”

            “Ren--” Hux began. “We don’t have the time.”

“We need to make time.” He snapped; inhaling to calm himself down. “If I don’t do this, I can’t guarantee the safety of everyone else.” If he could say anything to make the situation worse, it would have been that. “Keep Ashlyn out of trouble, make sure she trains with Skywalker.”

            Hux snorted. “Keeping Ashlyn out of trouble is not as easy as you think.” He was desperately trying to lighten the mood. Kylo Ren may not have been his best friend, hell, Kylo Ren may not have been his friend… but, Stars, he respected the man. He had followed him this far, the least he could do was try to bring some lighter spirit to all this.

            It barely worked as Ren smirked ever so slightly. “Do what you can.”

Phasma, still didn’t care for this plan. As necessary of a plan it was, at least in Ren’s mind, it was still worrisome to her. Was Kylo Ren okay? Or had he finally spun out of control like she had always predicted he would. “Will you be okay?” She asked.

            He frowned, abruptly standing from the table and making his way to the door, but not before grumbling angrily. “Everyone keeps asking me that. I’m fine.”

            “Should you need us--” Phasma began, causing Kylo Ren to stop. He never knew a half-finished sentence could have such weight that would resonate through him. He looked back at the concerned eyes of Phasma and Hux, nodding in understanding at her sentiment before finally leaving the room.

* * *

  


            “Okay, let me see if I get this…” Brass began, skeptically, as the two sat at a workstation with parts scattered all over. “My blaster is not working at its optimal potential so… You’re enhancing my blaster by doing what now?”

            Ash grinned as she unscrewed his blaster; messing with the repeater. “First Order issued blasters have a faulty repeater in them. They don’t function as well as they should; they overheat faster which causes them to jam more frequently. It’s why most Troopers never use the option.”

            “And how did you figure this out?”

She shrugged. “When you’re living with a bunch of scavengers and pirates, you learn a few things. They used to modify a lot of standard issued weapons from the First Order; Resistance too.”

            Brass watched in awe as Ashlyn carefully worked on his blaster; tweaking the inner bindings just enough to bypass the failsafe within the repeater. At least someone on this destroyer would have a more efficient weapon. “We should have you fix all our weapons.” Brass joked, yet was a little serious.

            Ash chuckled. “It would keep me busy. That’s for sure.”

“I’m sure you have enough to do with all that Force stuff going on.” She didn’t answer him; instead, she kept her focus on the gun as she removed the cooling gel and replaced it with a newer fill.

            The door opened swiftly, revealing the other Force User as he stomped into the maintenance room, clearly annoyed about something. Brass was the only one to look up at him, as Ashlyn was still pretty busy. Kylo Ren’s angry expression dropped as he looked from Brass, then to his wife as amusement spread across his face. “What is she doing?”

            “Apparently my blaster could be functioning better.” Brass replied with a shrug.

He walked around the workbench and sat down next to Brass. The two staring across the table at Ashlyn as she worked. “How?” Although, Ren felt like he probably shouldn’t question his wife’s maintenance capabilities at this point, all things considered.

            Ash sighed, having to explain things over and over again was not exactly something she enjoyed. “When standard issued blasters tries to use the repeater function; they overheat. It’s a design flaw. I’m fixing it for Lieutenant Brass.”

            Brass smirked. “She’s good.”

Ren hummed in reply as he watched his wife work meticulously on the blaster. She was in her element; focused and relaxed. Something he hadn’t seen from her in a while. In fact, it was something she hadn’t really been experiencing for the last two weeks. So, Kylo Ren did what any good Force capable husband would do… and tried to get into her head. Okay, that was probably not the best idea. Yet, in her focus, she was too busy to really scold him. Or at least, that’s what he thought.

             But there it was, the balance. Right now, in this current moment, Ash was perfectly balanced as she tinkered with the blaster. However, even with that balance, Kylo Ren couldn’t sense any changes within her. She wasn’t radiating any special Force ability; there was no sign above her head flashing saying ‘ ** _This is it!’_** or anything of the sort. No, she just felt at peace to him. While relieved that his wife was at least happy, it still left the burning question of how the stone could help Ashlyn.

              “And--” Ash began as she sealed the blaster up. “Done!” She beamed as she slid he weapon across the table to Brass, whom gladly snatched it up and began aiming it at random things.

             “I need to go try this out.” He said, looking at Ashlyn and Kylo Ren, as if asking their permission. Ren just nodded at him, Brass taking that as it time to go and swiftly left the room to play with his new toy.

              Ash began to clean up the workbench then, avoiding being the one to start the conversation between her and Ren. “Did you cure your boredom?”

“I did.” She smiled slightly as she returned the tools to their place, but not before swiping some extra parts and sticking them in her pockets. Kylo Ren gave her a funny look as she did it. “Don’t judge me, I promised a droid on Crait I’d give him some sweet upgrades. Besides, what’s yours is mine now, right?” She teased.

            “Pretty sure this is actually just you becoming a kleptomaniac.”

“Take it up with my husband.” She grinned. “He’s the Leader of this whole thing, surely you’ve heard of him.”

              “Oh no--” He groaned playfully. “Is all this power of being my wife now going to your head?”

Ash thought for a moment, humming as she did. “I learned this power trip from you.”

              “I’m a bad influence on you.” He was, just not in a clear and obvious way. His darkness was slowly becoming hers and Kylo Ren was beginning to realize that as the balance within Ash began to dissipate. He knew something was not right, something inside him was beginning to break and bend. It was shaping itself and forming to his being. Something he drastically ignored and allowed to manifest. Something that meshed with the anger and hatred he had always had. It was killing him, it was killing the last of Ben Solo, and stars, it was going to kill Ashlyn too if he didn’t do something about it. He had a plan. Not a solution, but a plan. “I need to go away for a while.”

            Ash nearly dropped the parts in her hands, fumbling awkwardly as she tried to regain her grasp on them. “What? Why?” He didn’t speak as Ash walked back over to the workbench, dropping the spare parts on the table as she looked at him. “We have to train and learn how to use the stones and--” She paused; feeling it. She felt it. She felt the dread and fear that was lingering in his eyes. Something she felt awful for having missed in the first place. “It’s the stone, isn’t it? It’s becoming too much.”

            His golden-brown orbs stared at the mess of parts that Ashlyn had dropped on the table. “I need to control it before it controls me.”

She slowly began to nod; trying to make sense of it all. She needed him, they all did. But, at what cost to his sanity? Time was running out, but did that matter if Kylo Ren couldn’t keep the darkness at bay? “Where will you go?”

            “I’m not sure.” Before she could ask; he answered. “I won’t be long.”

She forced a small smile on her lips, she had to be supportive of this, she knew she did. But, in typical Ash fashion, when something upset her, she tried to deflect from it. “You owe me one good night’s sleep, Ben Solo.” She teased softly. “We’ve yet to have one since our wedding.”

            His small smile matched hers as his eyes trailed back up to the comforting, green ones opposite him. “When this is over, we’re going to spend a week in bed.”

Ash sat down across from him again, her hands reaching across the table for his; her smaller hands resting on top of his larger ones. “When do you leave?” His deafening silence gave away so much and so little. Ash was becoming a pro at decoding them. “You’re leaving now.”

            “Think of it this way, the sooner I go, the sooner I come back.”

She squeezed his hand gently. “And I’ll be here when you do.”

            “Train with them tomorrow; work with Luke. He’s the worst person but--” It almost pained him to say it. “He knows what he’s talking about.”

            Ash’s smile widened. “That might be the nicest thing you’ve said about your uncle.”

“Don’t push it.” He frowned with a smug smirk on his lips. He removed himself from his seat, rounding the workbench and kissing Ashlyn on the top of her head. “Get some rest, Starshine.”

            “Be safe.” She was answered with silence as Kylo Ren left the room without another word to share with her. Instead, he preferred it this way. It wasn’t a ‘goodbye’; it didn’t feel like he was leaving forever. He wasn't. At least, he hoped he wasn’t.

 

* * *

 

            He didn’t care that Phasma and Hux didn’t understand the situation, and believed that this was against their best interest. They knew nothing about the power that was threatening to break through Kylo Ren. It was better that way; the duo were already skeptical of his leadership skills. The last thing they needed was any reasonable doubt that their fears were warranted by any means. Kylo Ren would never give such satisfaction to anyone.

               He took an unmarked single pilot starship. Something not so easily traced, but could also get him in and out of a sticky situation should it arise. It didn’t take long for his thoughts to wander; piloting a starship was something he truly never believed was in the stars for him. Or rather, it was something they didn’t give him the opportunity to explore.

            Ben Solo wanted to be a pilot, like his father. Even though the man was absent for a lot of his childhood, he’d be lying if he said he didn’t at least look up to him. At lot of that changed; drastically and so suddenly. He never got the opportunity to learn as much as he wanted from Han. Sure, they had gone on adventures with the Wookie, but he needed more; craved more. He was a child, for crying out loud. He needed his father.

             Even though he’d never say it out loud, **_she_** wasn’t innocent in all this either. He had heard them. His parents tried to keep it a secret, but he was a curious young boy back then. He listened to their quiet and private concerns. They were scared of him. Hell, he was scared of himself. He had raw and unlimited power even at such a young age, it was a lot to take in. What made it worse though was hearing that from his parents and knowing they feared him. It only validated his own doubts that maybe he truly was a monster.

            They sent him to Luke without any debate or second thought. He was suddenly shipped across the galaxy to learn how to fix what was indubitably broken. He wasn’t broken. He was just **_different_**. He was darkness; he was always destined for darkness. However, what no one told him then was that even if he was destined for the dark side; that didn’t mean he was going to be an awful person. There was still good within Ben Solo. He was still good.

            Luke Skywalker was just as afraid of him as his mother and father were. And even when the whispers from a creature across the galaxy began; Ben Solo had needed help more than ever. Help that his family was too scared to give. Luke Skywalker tried to end it there; he saw what Ben was capable of; no, what Kylo Ren was capable of. He just couldn’t bring himself do it. He couldn’t go through with killing the then seventeen-year-old. That was when everything fell apart and instead of embracing the darkness within Ben Solo and helping him adapt to it; Luke Skywalker had pushed him away and to the evil that he tried to smother. Luke Skywalker helped create Kylo Ren. They all did.

            All wasn’t lost for the young boy. Even as he took on the Kylo Ren persona, Ben Solo still existed. Yet, the angrier he became and more hateful he grew, the remains of Ben disappeared more and more. Sure, parts of that person was still there, even when he became friends with three unlikely people at the Academy. They kept him as grounded as possible.

            Years after he destroyed the Jedi Academy under Luke Skywalker; much after he finished his training to become who he was, Ben Solo didn’t die. In fact, his ideas were still there within that dormant part of Kylo Ren. While corrupted by Ren, it was still a sense of good; a corrupted good, where he realized just how evil Supreme Leader Snoke was. The creature and voice that reached to him through the darkness so many years earlier. Yet, he would be lying if he said his reasons for taking down Snoke were purely for the greater good. Kylo Ren was an agent of chaos. He liked watching regimes fall. He wanted that power too.

            Even through all his planning to end Snoke; even when bringing on Hux, Phasma and Brass to his plan, he was Kylo Ren. The man who killed his father just so he could sink further into the darkness. It was the only way to beat Snoke. He knew that, and somehow, so did Han. And even though it destroyed Ben Solo in a way, even after all the awful things that had happened from his childhood, he still regretted it in some capacity.

             But, Kylo Ren was cunning, he was smug, and he was dangerous. While others saw him as ruthless and a murderer, only certain people knew why he did the things he did. He knew he was sinking into darkness, he knew there was no coming back; so he took it upon himself to take the responsibility of killing and dominating his way to victory. As awful as he was; the man was still caring in some facet. That was the tiny piece of Ben Solo coming through.

            Then **_she_** came. The unexpected wildcard that shattered every piece of his newly built walls and reconstructed them into something better. The red-haired girl who mirrored his soul. The girl who saw right through him, battled the monster and didn’t flinch at what he was. She wasn’t blinded by the Kylo Ren persona. She, even from the beginning, always saw Ben Solo.

             And by the stars, was he crazy about her. Even from the beginning, even when he was so convinced he hated her, she brought him to his knees. No matter how hard he tried to deny it and push her away; even that brief time where he tried to get her killed… she never went away. She was always there in his head, in his heart… everywhere. While she couldn’t sense it just yet, he did. She was his person. His counterpart to help push back the monster he became. Ben Solo could live, but only when she was there to guide him.

            But that was the problem. She wasn’t there as the ship landed on Maridun; covered in the darkness of night as he stomped towards the abandoned hut. The same hut they had met in so many times, the place he took her on their first training mission. Stars, the damn hut looked exactly how they left it. Yet, there was no warmth here. There was no warmth because she wasn’t there to bring that certain feeling that tamed Kylo Ren and brought Ben solo back.

            The red lightsaber fizzled and hissed as it ignited the room with the fiery glow. Kylo Ren and Ben Solo couldn’t exist together. He hadn’t perfected that balance, he didn’t need to. He wasn’t Ash; he could live in chaos and feed from its disastrous flame in all it’s fiery glory. The stone only extended that need; that lust for carnage and power. A desire to take what was his and leave nothing standing in his wake.

             The room was destroyed within mere minutes as debris flew from shattered furniture that barely stood a chance against his defective lightsaber. Humming and whizzing with a lawless delight, he destroyed everything around him. The darkness was winning as it extended through every nerve and every fiber of his soul. His eyes turning to the darkened pools of empty blackness as he laid destruction only to stop when the book caught his eye.

            His chest rising and falling rapidly, his breathing trying to catch up to the energy he just exerted. He retracted the lightsword, his eyes adjusting to the darkened room lit by only the bright moon of Maridun. Crouching down, his fingers grazed over the book. His book. The book of planets that his wife was so fond of. Slowly, as though it were a snake that would bite him had he moved too quickly, he opened the cover. ‘ _Property of Ben Solo’_.

            Was Ben Solo truly gone? Maybe. At least, he wished he was. It would make this fight much easier if he didn’t have that one thing pulling him back. But, no. Ben Solo couldn’t die as long as Ashlyn existed. No matter how hard Kylo Ren wanted to bring Ash to the dark side with him; it wouldn’t matter. Ben Solo would still be gnawing at the back of his mind because Ben Solo wanted to live. The two parts of him wanting to be in control, they wanted to be with Ashlyn in their own way, they wanted to exist. They just couldn’t coexist. At least, they couldn’t coexist when both sides didn’t want to.

            He felt it then; that tug of uncertainty that always came when she was around. That middle ground he was almost jealous that she could exist in and he couldn’t. The corner of his lips turned upward ever so slightly. “You’re projecting again.”

            “I’m sleeping.” She admitted sheepishly. “I’m sorry. I know you wanted to be alone. I can try to wake myself up.”

“Don’t.” He said softly; hating the fact that he needed her. That he wasn’t strong enough to do this without her.

            “I think I could feel you--” She began. “Or maybe you were unintentionally reaching out to me. But… I just--” She watched him stand up, turning to face her. His eyes were dark still, but she wasn’t afraid. “Are you okay?” He didn’t answer. “Ben?”

            “You still deliberately call me that even when I’ve told you not to.” He said; slightly annoyed. He didn’t want Ben Solo to exist right now. Ben Solo wasn’t going to save anyone in this state.

              “I do it because it’s the only time you ever let me in; you show me exactly what you’re feeling.” He glared at her; mostly because she was right. He gave away so much, but only for her. If she truly knew the power she had over him. She changed the subject as her eyes skimmed over the destroyed hut; frowning in disapproval. “We’re going to have to clean this up.” His brow quirked upward at her statement. “I had a vision we lived here after all of this was over. If we are, we’re going to--”

            “You know we’re not going to live here.” He snapped; stars, the darkness made things even more awful than he intended. There it was, Ben Solo, coming through. Knowing he had done something wrong and wanting nothing more than to comfort the girl in front of him. His weakness; the girl that brought him to his knees and humbled him. “I don’t think I know what’s me anymore.” A curious sentence, but, Ash seemed to understand it. If she didn’t, she didn’t show as much. “Kylo Ren; Ben Solo… whatever this stone is doing to me. I don’t know anymore.” Frustratedly, he sat down on the hard floor, chucking his lightsaber across the room as his knees pulled to his chest. He rested his arms on the top of his knees and put his head down; trying to be as small as possible. Maybe it would help, even just a little.

            No, what helped was the absent, but also very light tingling sensation on his arm. It was like butterflies swarming to one area; barely kissing his arm as the sensation fluttered under his skin. “You’re my husband.” Her voice soft; closer now. “You’re Ben Solo, but you’re also Kylo Ren. They’re one in the same. The stone won’t change that.”

            He lifted his head, peering at his wife as she rested her head against his arm. Her projection was sitting next to him, comforting as best as anyone who wasn’t actually there could. “Whatever I choose to be--” He began. “Will you still be by my side?”

            It was Ash’s turn to lift her head then, she looked at him contemplatively. She tried to read his expression, but now he was shutting her out. Her lips parted ever so slightly, her breath caught in her throat as she nodded. “Yeah.” She finally said. “I’m by your side for whatever.” It was like she knew. He could sense that some part of her understood what she was agreeing to, but a need to continue a blissful ignorance was preventing her from saying it outloud. If she did, it would make it real. She was sealing her fate as an uncertainty as to what she was really settling in for lingered in the air.  

            “And if I continue to be a monster--”

“You’re not a monster--” She tried to interrupt him as he glowered.

              “I am.” He practically sneered. “I am and I always will be. And when I become just like him and repeat the same path of destruction he caused. Who is going to stop me?”

She sat up, the sudden loss of contact felt the most devastating to Ren as he kept his glare, not showing how it affected him. “Ben, you’re not going to be like him.”

            “Don’t you fucking get it? I’m **_exactly_** like him!” He yelled now; snapped even. Ash sat back with force, feeling the radiating anger and rage from him. He was daring her; daring her to say something back. Give him a reason to continue down this spiral, this wormhole of self-destruction he wanted to hide in.

            She didn’t give him the satisfaction he was craving. Instead, she placed her hand on his knee and whispered. “I’ll see you when you get back.” Her disappearance left a heavier mark on him than he could have ever anticipated. He was wounded; weakened. He was lashing out at everything, nothing made sense anymore. Ben Solo was slowly fading away as Kylo Ren unraveled.

           

 


	60. The Death of Ben Solo

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Something is changing...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Can we just talk about how chapter 60 has the most vague title ever? 
> 
> Shit is going to go down and I can't wait for you guys to see what's in store for our favorite force users. 
> 
> Let me know what you think in the comments!

 

* * *

_Fire. The smell of smoke and faulty electrical wires took over her senses as her eyes fluttered open. She was staring at the onyx throne; it was empty. Snoke’s severed body lied motionless on the floor as she continued to look around at the absence of life. Death; decay, it was all the same. They were dead, she had come to accept that now. The scattered bodies of the Praetorian Guards, a sight she was growing all too familiar with. However, who would be dead among the Force Users this time? Ash didn’t want to know._

_Nightmares had a sick and twisted way of bringing out their cruelty. They didn’t care to keep any sanity or any peace. Instead, the Force nightmares seemed to just deal out the worst as they came. This time, it was unexpected._

_Ash walked forward to the throne, his fingers tracing the cool, stone finish as she eyed it a little longer. Without much thought or care, she slowly lowered herself onto the chair. The feeling of power and corruption blinding her. No, Ash wasn’t lost in the ignorance of it. Ash was **loving** it. The immeasurable power that surged as her eyes fixed on the scene before her._

_“Starshine.” Her head snapped up; her now amber eyes locking onto the only man that stood. He was amused. **Amused?** Amused over what, Ash wasn’t certain. However, his heavy steps took him forward and towards her. “I told you that you’d come to love it--” He began, stepping closer and now walking behind the dark chair. “The power; the way it feels.” She listened, remaining unmoved as he walked around the chair again, now standing to the side of it as he looked down at her. “We’re going to change everything…”_

_The Throne Room began to change in front of her. The body count growing. Ash could hear their screams echoing throughout the room. The sound of lightsabers running through flesh. They were dead. They were all dead as the pile of bodies grew and the faces of those she knew stood out among the wreck. Rey, Poe, Leia, Finn; Resistance members and Ascension all the same. The body count stacking up higher and higher as Ash let the power consume her._

 

_This was where she belonged._

 

* * *

 

           

            There was a knock on the apartment door; a somewhat assertive knock, as Ash jolted awake. While grateful that she was pulled out of that nightmare, she also didn’t take too kindly at the sound of it before hiding under the large, black comforter and groaning. The door slid open after the fourth knock as heavier boot steps entered. “I was instructed to make sure you went back to Crait this morning.” Her commanding voice was hard to ignore.

            “Can’t you knock quieter?” Ash snapped slightly, it was mostly from being overly tired. Oh, and the fact that her husband was losing his goddamn mind, and let’s not forget that awful nightmare. But, who was to really point blame on one thing here.

            “I did. I also don’t knock more than four times, it’s degrading for a Captain to do.” She snapped right back. Stars knew she wasn’t going to be taking anyone’s shit today. Everyone was on edge for similar reasons.

            Ash sighed, feeling bad as she sat up, looking at the unamused expression of Phasma. “I’m sorry.” She mumbled. “I’ve got a lot on my mind right now.” She did. Her fears were only confirmed when she projected across the stars to Kylo Ren. She knew in the very depths of her being what his plan was. He was going to take over for Snoke; and while she should have trusted him, her nightmare was telling her otherwise.

            Phasma smirked slightly, showing a small sign that there was no harm done. “Already? You just woke up.”

            “Seems to be a reoccurring thing as of late.” Ash replied, before looking at Phasma with a slight intensity. “How long have you known?”

            “About?”

“His plan to take over after we kill Snoke.” Phasma’s expression gave nothing, but Ashlyn didn’t need to see it. She **_felt_** it. It was like getting caught with her hand in the cookie jar.

            “I’m not sure what you--”

Ash let out an exasperated sigh. “Phasma, I can get into your thoughts. Don’t make me do that.” She all but threatened.

            Phasma was taken back by Ashlyn’s ultimatum. Ash had **_never_** done something like that before. Hell, Ashlyn hated prying into people’s minds and yet with that desperation to do so just to get an answer… it frightened Phasma to a very small degree. “We weren’t allowed to tell you.”

“Why?” Ash was practically pleading for an answer. “Are you guys even really working with the Resistance or just giving them a false sense of security so he can get into power and you can just slaughter them in the night?”

            Phasma frowned at the accusation. “You know that’s not it.”

“Do I?” Ash asked. “Because right now, I don’t really trust what I know anymore. My husband wants to become the Supreme Leader and I don’t think any of us know what that truly means.”

            “Yes, he wants to become the Supreme Leader, but not for the reasons you think.” Phasma explained; her tone harsh. “He will be working very closely with General Organa and others to create a new governing power so that there can no longer be a dictator in power.”

            Ash exhaled sharply. “Leia knew this too?”

Phasma hated lying to Ashlyn; if it were anyone else she would have done so without much question. But, Ashlyn was different. She had come to know her and appreciated what she had done for Kylo Ren. “He was afraid if you knew, it would upset the balance within you.”

            Ash swallowed hard, the revelation of Kylo Ren hiding something else from her, after all of this was a lot. Granted, he may have had his reasoning. But, Ash was tired of **_his reasons_**. They didn’t make the situation any better. “I need to get to Crait.”

            “I will accompany you down--”

“I’d rather you didn’t.”

            Phasma gave her best sympathetic smile. “You’re the wife of the future Supreme Leader; you can’t just go off and do things on your own anymore.”

            Ash felt a bitter taste in her mouth as she hated the way her new title sounded. Assuming it and talking about it had two very different feelings. “Watch me.”

            “Please don’t make this any harder than it has to be, Ash.” What Phasma was not explaining to Ash, was that this was more out of a concern for her protection from Kylo Ren. Phasma and Hux had begun to watch the insanity unravel within Kylo Ren, something was different. With that, they silently made the decision to keep an eye on Ashlyn going forward. A reservation that she would never admit to Ashlyn, all this considered.

              All of this wasn’t Phasma’s fault. Ash knew that. Phasma meant well, at least, she tried to mean well as best she could with the resources she was given. But, that didn’t mean Ashlyn had to cooperate. “Let me get dressed. Can I meet you in the debriefing room with Hux?” She asked, her voice small. “I just want to ask you both a few things first.”

            Hesitantly, Phasma nodded. “I will meet you there.” Without another word, she left the apartment and went to the debriefing room. She’d contact Hux once there; although a part of her was concerned as to what Ash wanted to speak to them about.

            Ash knew she didn’t have much time before Phasma figured it out. Quickly, she dressed and grabbed her lightsaber. She was not going to be cooperative, not until she had a nice long and angry screaming match with her husband when he returned. Okay, she would first wait and talk to him about his whole **_battle-with-the-darkness-thing._** But, after that, she was going to kick his ass.

            For now, she needed to get off the destroyer without an escort and without alerting the higher-ups. Ashlyn Solo would be damned is she ever surrendered to being the wife of the new Supreme Leader without at least kicking and screaming along the way.

* * *

  


            Hux walked into the debriefing room, looking at Phasma with a mix of adoration and also exhaustion. “Any idea what she wants to meet about?”

            “She knows about Ren’s plan to take over the Supreme Leader’s role, I can only assume it has something to do with that.” Phasma said with aggravation.

            Hux’s lips pursed. “She knows?”

“Apparently.” Phasma shrugged. “I don’t think he said anything.”

            “How could he? He disappeared into the galaxy somewhere.” Hux replied with disdain over the recent events. “Speaking of our troublemaking Leader; have we heard from him?”

            “Negative.” Phasma replied.

“And his slightly less troublemaking wife?” Hux asked.

            Before Phasma could reply, Brass’s voice echoed over the commlink in the debrief room. “Hey, uh--” He stammered. “Did you two clear the missus for takeoff by herself?”

            Hux and Phasma exchanged glances as Phasma audibly groaned. “I take that back. His just as, if not more so, troublemaking wife.” Hux retorted before replying to Brass. “When did she leave?”

            “Uhhh--” Brass began. “Just now.”

“I’m going to kill her if I don’t kill him first.” Phasma growled, knowing if Ash for some reason got hurt in the process, it would be **_her_** ass chewed out by Kylo Ren.

            “Dear, that’s treason.” Hux reminded her dutifully yet smirking. He was amused at the entire situation that Phasma was so easily played by Ashlyn. Tricking Phasma was not something that ever really happened. “Shall you go down or I?”

            “Send Brass.” Phasma grumbled, still clearly angry.

“Brass, did you get that?” Hux called out.

            “Boarding now.” Brass confirmed as the commlink disconnected.

 

           

* * *

 

 

Ash wasted no time after docking (albeit a bumpy landing) before racing out of the ship. While, this looked ridiculously suspicious for any onlookers, only one had dared to say anything as he caught up to her. “Rough morning, First Order?”

            Ash exhaled, her heart racing in her chest as she tried to regain her breath. She shook her head at the pilot. “You could say that.”

            Poe frowned, realizing something else was going on. “What happened?”

She wanted to say; she wanted to tell him everything. But, for some reason… she didn’t. A piece of her, a piece that was loyal to her husband; that same little speck of hope that maybe blindly trusting him with half the things he did, would ultimately end up good. It blinded her, it misguided her, it ultimately ignited her struggle. Instead, Ashlyn chose to keep it to herself, to keep all her reservations to herself and offer a very convincing smile. “I’m late for my first day training.” She lied, forcing a laugh. “I don’t want Luke to think I’m not serious about saving the galaxy and all that.”

            Slightly unconvinced, Poe nodded. “Well, he’s in the mines with Rey. I can take you to them.”

            She shook her head. “No need, I can find them.”

Before Ash could get away, Poe gently reached for her wrist, grabbing it to stop her. “Ash, are you sure everything’s okay?”

            She looked at him, her smile faltering just enough to give away that something was not as it seemed. Yet, Ash would never tell, at least not now. “Everything’s fine. But, I have to train now, Poe.”

            Unsatisfied, but knowing there was nothing he could do, Poe let go of the girl’s wrist. Ash took the opportunity, before he could ask any more questions, to head for the mines just as Brass’s ship touched down.

            Poe watched as Ash ran off, leaving a whirlwind of questions as she disappeared deeper into the base. Those questions growing even more when Brass walked over to Poe, nodding at him. “Morning, Commander.”

            Poe muttered a ‘good morning’ back, only to frown when he realized Brass was there. “Wait, now why the heck are you here?”

            “Making sure the missus is okay.” Brass informed him without too much attention to the matter.

            “So, she’s **_not_** okay?” Poe asked, following after him. Brass shrugged, not giving anything more for Poe to go on as he continued after her. Poe realized he was following Ash then and quickly sped up to cut him off, stopping him from going any further. “If Ash isn’t okay and she’s upset about something, the best thing to do is not follow her. That’ll make her run.” Brass made a face at that notion. “Trust me, I’ve seen her do it before.”

            Unhappily, Brass agreed with a curt nod towards Poe. “Alright, Commander. We’ll wait for her to come to us.”

            “And while I have you--” Poe began. “I’ve got some questions.”

Brass beamed. “You know I can’t answer anything deemed too confidential.”

            Poe was a smart man, he was also very charming and could charm his way out of anything. He returned with his own dazzling smile. “C’mon, Brass. Thought we were friends now.”

            “Friends don’t force other friends to tell their secrets.”

“So, there **_are_** secrets?”

            Brass clicked his tongue to the roof of his mouth, eyeing Poe Dameron suspiciously as he forced a sarcastic smile now. “You know, if you ever want to work for the Ascension--”

            “Nah, I’m happy here.” Poe explained. “But for now, you and I still need to have a chat.” The two began their struggle then to see who could win in this game of chess. One of them was bound to crack first.

 

* * *

  


            Ash stopped running once she entered the safety of the salt mines of Crait. She was finally no longer within reach of Poe, the Resistance, or the Ascension. She was finally alone. With a long sigh, she paused her journey to meet with Rey and Luke and instead chose to rest against the salt wall next to her. Her back flush against it as she stared up at the natural ceiling of the salt mine.

            A part of her, whether a more dormant or ignorant part, knew this was what was going to happen. It made sense, he never really **_hid_** his lust for power, let alone deny it either. They had had this conversation before on StarKiller; a talk on politics and his desire to take over. She just chose to ignore it, this was her own fault in a way.

            Maybe she would have been okay with it had she not had that dream; the dream that showed her if he became Supreme Leader then she would fall to the darkness with him. She would be the direct cause of the body count that lied before her. It was one of many outcomes and perhaps it wasn’t even **_the_** outcome. Maybe there was an outcome where he could become the next Supreme Leader and everything would work out in the end. That notion still didn’t make her feel any better.

            She closed her eyes, inhaling deeply through her nostrils. She looked like she was in pain; in some sense, she was. What did she do about Kylo Ren? “Even though I’m so far away, I can still feel your distress from across the galaxy.” For once, she wished she didn’t hear that baritone voice.

            “Now you’re doing it?” Her eyes still shut tightly as she asked, not wanting to look at him.

“You don’t get to have all the fun.” Did he always have to be so smug about it? “What’s wrong?”

            Her top teeth raked over her bottom lip nervously as she finally opened her eyes, her head leaning ever so slightly to the right to look at him. “I don’t want to be the wife of the new Supreme Leader. I want to be the wife of Ben Solo.”

            Ren’s projection frowned; contemplatively. “And what if they’re the same person?”

Her lips parted as she stared at him, uncertain about what it is she really wanted and what she needed. “I don’t know. But, I absolutely hate the lying and the deception and the--”

            He interrupted her. “You’ve known, Ash.” He challenged. “A part of you has always known.” She had. A part of her had known. But, was that really the point here? Sure, she was just as much at fault when push came to shove.

            “And if it corrupts me the way it corrupts you?” Her question was bold; daring even. “What if we become exactly what we set out to destroy?”

            Suddenly, it clicked in Kylo Ren’s mind and his stubborn cruelty reached the surface as he smirked just enough to make her want to reach through the Force and punch it off his face. “You had a nightmare, didn’t you?” She didn’t respond. “What did you see?” He asked again. “What kind of monster did I become for you this time?”

            Ash shook her head, denying that notion as she looked away from him and back up at the salt mine ceiling. “Not you.” She answered. “ ** _Me_**. I was the monster.” Ren said nothing as he watched his wife become torn up over it. Not just the dream, but her new status, **_everything_**. And while she had finally come to accept and move on from the past, the new stress was weighing her down. And not just her, but everyone. He could feel it, even being so far away. Hell, even he was feeling it. “Are you coming back yet?”

            “Not yet.” He answered softly.

Ash closed her eyes again, feeling the tug on her soul, knowing Kylo Ren was no longer projecting anymore. He had his own issues to deal with, she saw that last night. Yet, right now, it felt like every bit of this crazy plan was falling apart. Time was running out and everyone was a mess. A complete and total mess.

            “Ash?” A new voice; a beacon of hope radiating through the darkness that was pooling around Ashlyn as she opened her eyes to see her concerned friend that had found her. “We’ve been waiting for you; we need to start training.” Rey’s voice was soft, calming even as she looked at the torn up red head. “Everything okay?” She noticed, Ash was alone. “Where is Kylo Ren?”

            “He had some things to take care of.” Ash explained, not exactly lying or telling the truth, as she removed herself from the wall. “But, I’m ready to train.”

            Rey was uncertain about a lot of things as of late, her new Force abilities, Kylo Ren and his plans… and now Ashlyn. She was hiding something. She could sense it. Yet, something inside was telling her that whatever Ashlyn was dealing with, was directly caused by the man in question. Either way, she was going to find out. But, for right now, she was going to be a good friend and not push the question further. Instead, she silently nodded and lead Ashlyn to Luke Skywalker.

 

* * *

 

            Returning to his body, after projecting and reaching out to Ashlyn, Kylo Ren collapsed to his knees; coughing. He began gagging as a cold sweat started to bead on his forehead. He was winded, losing air rapidly as he desperately tried to cling to oxygen. The sweet and burning feeling all at once in his chest as he gasped loudly.

            He hadn’t strained himself by reaching out; he knew that. No, this was the darkness reaching up and pulling him down. An invisible force pressing on his chest and threatening to concave his ribs in and stop this all now. He wouldn’t give in so easily, yet, a small creeping part in the back of his mind desperately wanted to.

            Ren collapsed to his side with a thud, his breathing still jagged and labored as his hair matted to his sweat covered face. He was burning up; feverish. ‘ _So weak--’_ The familiar, raspy voice echoed in his mind. ‘ _A child wanting to play pretend. A child who will never harness the true power of the dark side. A child who will never measure up to be like the once great Darth Vader.’_ Ren forced himself to his knees again, his body convulsing as he did. He was going to be sick; he could feel it burning the back of his throat. ‘ _It’s going to consume you. Like a wildfire, you’re going to burn in the flames of it. It’s going to destroy everything in your path--’_ The voice chuckled; a sickly and cruel chuckle. ‘ _A **nd it’s going to bring her down with you.’** _

            Kylo Ren emptied what little contents of his stomach onto the wood floor; heaving, breathless and losing this battle. ‘ _Such a frightened boy. Such a pity.’_

            A low growl escaped Ren’s lips as he stumbled to his feet, his hand outstretched for his saber as it flew across the room and into his grasp. The cackle and hiss of the distorted blade echoing in the room as he clutched it tightly. “I’M NOT AFRAID OF YOU!” He shouted at nothing. “I AM GOING TO END THIS. END YOU. AND WHEN I DO I WILL DESTROY EVERYTHING YOU WORKED SO HARD TO BUILD.”

            The voice chuckled again. ‘ _So you can be just like me in the end? Foolish child, you know you won’t survive this. Ben Solo will not survive this. You’ll succumb to the temptations of the power; the control. It’s already begun and soon, you won’t be able to tell the difference between who I was and who you’ve become.’_

            He screamed; a guttural scream from the depths of his being. Anger, rage, hate, passion and pain; it was all building up and ripping him apart from the inside. Collapsing to his knees again, his lightsaber dropping from his grasp as he heaved a few more times.

             A sudden and eerie calmness taking over his being as the darkness finally settled in; consuming and taking over. Ben Solo was gone; pushed back to a very small corner of his being, and only Kylo Ren remained. A new Kylo Ren; one that was only fueled by his hatred and anger; one that wasn’t held back by any remains of Ben Solo. The raging fire that burned within him set out to consume everything.

 


	61. A Dangerous Game

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kylo Ren returns and Ash becomes the Force User she needs to be, but at the cost of playing a very dangerous game. Things get rocky between the balance of our Force Users

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't like this chapter. I'm sorry. I like certain parts, but it needed to be told and it's long and I'm sorry. Let's just push through this so we can get to the good stuff. 
> 
> Also. I named Phasma.

* * *

 

Captain Gwendoline Phasma remembered the old days clearly; a mix of a far-off memory and yet, clung to so tightly with such a fondness that they seemed like yesterday. She trained as hard as she could; focusing mostly on her combat training as well as tactics. High in her ranks, she was a promising future for the First Order as they continued their attempt to rebuild.

            She could see it now, the day Brendol Hux found her among the ranks of the nobodies she surpassed greatly. He called her up in the ranks, kept her focus and mindset on only one thing; to lead the troops to victory. She was skilled, she was clever and above all, she was dangerous.

            Yet, there was something a little more dangerous that even Phasma could not even fathom. The ginger haired son of Brendol Hux. The up and coming General in training; the man being primped for a life of solitude and never-ending headaches from his subordinates. A man following in his father’s footsteps that would all but surpass him someday. At least, an achievement he could only hope for. A man with a smirk that killed. A man that Phasma loved more deeply than she could have ever prepared for.

            She followed him. Entranced by his ideas and beliefs that were in every way intoxicating. He was a strong person who never demanded anything from her but loyalty. A simple idea in her mind; she could give that to him. And she did. Throughout the academy, Phasma was by Hux’s side and he by hers. The two a duo that were inseparable. While others saw that as a dynamic that would ultimately be for their gain; very few realized truly what was below the surface.

            Perhaps that was what made all of this so hard in the end? She trusted Hux. She trusted him even when the dark-haired man with the biggest temper arrived. And while she saw their friendship as harmless, it wasn’t. Not when she had time to really think about it.

            When they came together; Hux, Ren, Brass and herself, they were an unstoppable force that was hell-bent for total annihilation. They were fueled by a forceful determination to reach their destinys and everyone knew that. Everyone stood out of their way. Things were glorious, especially when they graduated and became the youngest group of superiors. Hell, they were trusted with their own giant weapon. A StarKiller.

            Everything was moving smoothly; everything in place as it should have been. The group was thriving in their new positions of power. Then… well, then it all went downhill. The dark-haired man with the golden orbs began to question the order and decided it was time to bite the hand that fed him. He began to think against the years of training, the way things were being ran. She didn’t realize at first, he wasn’t the only one who thought this either. And when Hux came to her with the proposition; she wanted to refuse. But, the heart knows what it wants and soon she was following Hux down this vortex of lies and deception. She believed in what they were doing; she knew she did. But that didn’t make any of it less of a gamble.

            Phasma knew what her purpose was going further. It was to keep them all alive. And she had done so in her own way. Killing and threatening anyone who stood in their path; disguising it as ‘ _treason to the order’._ She kept everyone important out of danger, even when Kylo Ren threw the wildcard of Ashlyn in their faces. Phasma kept her composure and she kept the group thriving. Following the ideas of Ren and Hux; a new beginning. A new era where war was a thing of the past and order would be restored.

            Right now, Phasma was beginning to second guess it all.

It was the way Kylo Ren spoke to them before he disappeared to stars knows where, Phasma began to feel that seed of doubt begin to grow and spread throughout her. No, she was not doubting their ideas. She was doubting the sanity of Kylo Ren. Something was wrong, and while men were often too blind to see it, she wasn’t. It was only confirmed when Ashlyn confronted her. What if this didn’t go the way she thought? What if the idea of a better tomorrow was just a ruse? What if Kylo Ren became exactly what they were trying to rid the galaxy of?

            Phasma had a bad feeling about it all. Even when the ginger got off the bed to join her, standing behind her and kissing her bare shoulder. She didn’t feel any better about any of it. “You’re going to have to sleep eventually.” He mumbled into the soft flesh between her neck and shoulder blade.

            “I know that.” She replied, staring out at the multiple starships outside their apartment window. Their army. No, **_his_** army. They were just a part of it. “It’s been three days, Armitage.”

            “He’ll be back.” He tried to soothe her.

“Even when he does return--” She began. “I don’t think he’s actually going to be the one returning.”

            Hux made a face, moving now she he was standing next to the worried blond. “What do you mean?”

            “Something is wrong.” Phasma explained. “When he snapped at us during our debriefing; disappearing from the base--” She paused. “Ash knows more than she’s letting on and I’m starting to wisen up to it. Something was different about Ren when he left and I feel like when he returns he won’t be the same person.” She kept her blue eyes locked on the starships in front of her. “What do we do if he becomes exactly what we feared?”

            Hux pursed his lips; the thought had crossed his mind thousands of times. His **_friend_** , a term he’d use very loosely at times, was hanging on by a thread. The two of them knew it; but not to the extent of how far down this could all really go.

            But, Armitage Hux was prepared for all of this. At least, he had thought more about it once the red-haired girl came into play. The only girl who could best Ren at his games. The only person who could stop him. “I think we need our own contingency plan, should this fear of yours comes to pass.” Phasma finally tore her eyes from the ships, looking at Hux with a mix of desperation and curiosity. “I think it’s time we had a talk with the future Madame Supreme.”

            “Ashlyn would never turn against him.” Phasma reminded him dutifully. Phasma knew where Ashlyn stood, it was the same if Hux had ever turned. Phasma would more than likely still be by his side.

           “I never said she would.” Hux continued. “But, I believe she is just as desperate as we are to keep him from going off the deep end.” Phasma said nothing, her silent agreement had been something she was always so very used to when it came to Hux. Trusting him and her unfaltering loyalty to him. “Is she back on base?”

            Phasma frowned. “She is, but we’re not going to bother her with this now. It’s late.”

Hux smirked knowingly. “You and I both know that girl doesn’t sleep through the night.”

            “We’ll talk to her in the morning, Hux.” Phasma decided, turning away from him and walking towards the bed.

            He knew her better than anyone; he always had. They were each other’s silent weaknesses and strengths all bundled into one person. He knew. “You’re still upset at her for the other day?”

            Phasma paused, stopping entirely before inhaling deeply at the accusation. Albeit, the accurate accusation. “She threatened me.”

            Hux scoffed. “Threatened you?”

“It was the first time she had ever done so, but I saw it. Although reluctant, she was willing to do something outside her beliefs for an answer.” She turned back to him, her face like stone, yet her eyes unable to hide the concern she was feeling. “Tell me, what is more dangerous than a woman desperate for answers? A woman who has been consistently kept in the dark and gone through the things she has?” Phasma made her point clear. “A woman like that would do anything as desperation is quite the motivator.”

            “Are you saying we cannot trust her either?” Hux asked, afraid of the answer.

She shook her head, avoiding his gaze again. “No.” It was a simple answer. She truly didn’t believe Ash to be a problem. However, Phasma understood where Ash was coming from. Unlike the men, Phasma knew what a desperate woman could do when provoked. Considering she continually did everything in her power to keep Hux, Ren and Brass safe for all these years. “I’m saying that I don’t think you realize how in over our heads we are.”

            “Gwen…” He watched her climb into bed then, not caring for his tone. It made her feel weak to be spoken to like that. Even if it was in such a caring way.

             Finally, she pulled the sheet over her lower half as she looked over at him, making her final point. “I’ve always stood beside you through all of this. Without any question and will continue to do so. But, I don’t think you’re ready to do what is necessary should Ren become exactly what we feared.” She explained somewhat sadly. “And I get why. I truly do. He was the one who made all this possible, he had helped us through so much--” Hux’s eyes narrowed, waiting for the woman to get to her point. “Just don’t be too torn up over it if we have to kill him.”

            The deafening silence that fell between them… this was the first time the notion had ever been said out loud. If Kylo Ren became exactly what they feared… could they do what needed to be done? If the desperation of Ashlyn came into play, would **_she_** be just as much of a problem as him? It was questions Hux didn’t want to know the answer to, at least, not right now. Not as Phasma finally settled back into the bed. She was already well aware that he wasn’t going to be joining her as he swiftly made his exit.

 

* * *

 

            It was safe to say that Armitage Hux clung to the promise of Kylo Ren from the moment the Force User set foot on base. Sure, Ren was not exactly a friend, but he had a different set of rules. He was a commitment of a future that Hux could actually stand. Growing up in such a military consumed family, not reaching the standard of his father; of the Order. Nevermind that he was a bastard. Hux wanted more; he ached for it. That was why when the opportunity to join Kylo Ren and take down the First Order came across his desk, he jumped at the chance.

            Ren understood him a lot more than Hux could ever give him credit for. He too grew up around those who value their work more than their own child. A family that always seemed to push them to the sidelines. Ren was someone who understood. Someone who promised him that after all this was said and done that Hux could have what he wanted. The freedom to be the person he wanted. The freedom to be with Phasma without repercussion. The freedom to live. Something Hux had never had.

            Which was why this made everything all the more difficult. Phasma was right, when the time came, could he take down Kylo Ren? The same man who promised him so much. The same man who was on the brink of total self-destruction.

             No, he realized. He couldn’t. Neither could Phasma or even Brass, for that matter. Not after all that Kylo Ren had done for them. However, there was one person on base who could should the occasion arise. And like he predicted, she was having trouble sleeping.

             When the apartment door slid open, the two stared at each other silently for a moment. Ash sensed his reservations; his clouded mind of ‘what if’ and uncertainty. He had something to say; it was written all over his face. So, Ash stepped aside, allowing the General to enter the quiet apartment.

            “Are you going to make me ask the right questions like he does or will I get an answer without trying?” She asked, somewhat hesitantly. They had done this song and dance before. Hux always seemed to show up when he needed to discreetly reprimand Ashlyn or remind her exactly where her place was on StarKiller. But, this wasn’t StarKiller.

            He snorted slightly, watching Ash as she moved to her couch and plopping down on it. The girl looked exhausted. Dark circles were forming under her eyes, he wondered when the last time she got a full night's sleep was. “I’m not here to play games with you.”

            “Then why are you here?”

“I know you feel it in him. You understand what he’s feeling on a higher plain than I do.” Hux accused, noticing how Ashlyn’s eyes really did give her away. A trait that Ren had mentioned to him once. “Something’s wrong; something’s different. And while I can’t put my finger on it, Ashlyn, I’ve known him for so long.” Hux pulled back, knowing he was losing control over his own emotion now. “Is he being consumed by darkness?”

            Ash swallowed; her throat suddenly running dry as she did. A question she wasn’t ready for. Hell, she wasn’t expecting any questions from him. Only answers. Quickly, she realized, he had none. “No.” Her answer firm, yet hardly believable. “And we won’t let him be.”

            That term ‘we’ amused Hux; who was she expecting to be so bold as to stand up to Kylo Ren with her? Certainly, she didn’t believe Hux or Phasma stood a chance. “I need to know--” He said. “I need to know that if the time came would you--”

            “You’re asking me to turn against my husband, Hux.”

He shook his head. “Not exactly.” He explained further. “I need to know if we need to stop him… that you can do it.”

            Ash frowned, unsure what Hux was expecting from her and only fearing the worst of scenarios. “I won’t kill him, Hux.”

            “I don’t want you to, nor do I expect it of you.” Hux said; his lips forming a thin line as he reluctantly went further into detail. Details he didn’t want to have to say out loud. He said again. “But, if we need to stop him--”

             “He’s not going to turn.” Ash snapped; the room growing silent at her small outburst. Their eyes locked as they waited for the other person to falter first. It was Ash; her ultimate need to protect those around her always seemingly getting in the way at times like this.

             Overall, this seemed like a waste of time. Hux was not going to get the reassurance he wanted, it seemed. A creeping fear beginning to worm its way through his brain as he began to understand more of what Phasma had said. That Ash would never turn on Kylo Ren. But, maybe this wasn’t about turning on him as it was about saving him. “I have seen a side of Ren, consumed by darkness. The day you were sent away.” Hux reminded her. “I don’t want to ever see him that way again.”

            Ash bit her lip, watching Hux as he turned on his heel and made his way to the door. “I won’t let him. You won’t let him either...” She finally said; her words sounding more like the promise that Hux had wanted.

           Hux didn’t turn around. Instead, he only paused for the briefest of moments before leaving. Yet, in that small pause, Ash felt a small hint of relief within the General. Although, this didn’t really feel like relief in her mind. If Hux and Phasma were onto Kylo Ren and what the stone was doing to him, maybe he was in deeper trouble than she had wanted to believe.

   

* * *

        

 

            His absence was noticed by both Ascension and Resistance members, as well as Luke and Rey. Although, in retrospect, that worked better for Luke. He was able to train with the other Force Users more closely and without the consistent distractions of sarcastic banter from his nephew. And while Ash was still somewhat distracted over the disappearance of her husband, Luke tried his best to work with what he was given.

            The issue still remained, however. Ash couldn’t use her stone. Even feeling balanced, the trio still had trouble determining what exactly Ash could do. The base began to notice the defective state of Ashlyn Solo. At least, in her mind, they were noticing.

            Ash also came to learn that practically **_everyone_** but her knew of Kylo Ren’s intentions in becoming the next Supreme Leader. A fact that Ash did not take too kindly to at first. Yet, the reasons remained the same. Everyone was afraid of Ashlyn’s reaction to the news. But, one variable stood out in the wave of information. They were all afraid of it because Kylo Ren had told them so.

            Ash couldn’t focus on that right now. No, instead she knew where she was needed. She had to learn to use the stone within her lightsaber. She stood, face to face, with Rey. Both girls clutching their lightsabers as they stood on the salt field of Crait, ready to train.

            Luke watched from a distance, joined by Brass, Poe, Leia and Finn. Poe had noticed that whenever Ash was down on the Resistance base, she had someone following her at all times. As though they were keeping an eye on her. Granted, he knew of her new title should all of this come to pass, however, he also knew Ash. He knew she absolutely hated it. The attention, the title, the constant need for supervision. It showed as she raised her amber blade and struck down with force at Rey; whom, luckily, was prepared for the attack as she blocked it.

            The sabers danced and tangled; the only bright colors among the field of white and crimson, as they clashed. Both Force Users completely focused as they trained in the distance.

            “They move so--” Brass couldn’t find the word.

“Fluidly?” Finn finished his sentence.

            Luke’s lips twitched upward slightly. “It’s because they’ve bonded. Their friendship keeps them in tune to one another.” He explained. “It’s all about balance.”

            With that, Rey swung around Ash, causing the red-haired girl to duck. In doing so, she managed to swing upward to get the upper hand on Rey. However, that never came as Rey sensed the motion; dodging it completely and causing Ash to fall over.

            Groaning Ash laid back, staring up at the sky as she tried to catch her breath. “You’re getting better.” Rey assured her.

            Ash frowned, grinning slightly. “Coming from you, the one with heightened insight, I take that as a huge compliment.”

            Rey laughed, offering her hand to Ash. She haphazardly took it as Rey helped her to her feet. “You still open yourself up for weakness though.” Rey added sternly. “You need to always be ready for the next hit.” Ash nodded as the two retracted their blades, Ash taking a moment to look at her lightsaber hilt. “Anything yet?” Rey asked knowingly.

            “Nothing.” Ash admitted disappointedly. “It still feels the same.”

“We’ll figure it out soon.” Rey gave her a reassuring smile.

             Ashlyn wasn’t as convinced. Instead she forced a bright smile and avoided the topic all-together. “Well, I need to shower. I can already feel my muscles tensing; I’m going to be sore.”

               Rey looked at her knowingly. “You promised you’d join us all for dinner tonight.”

She grimaced slightly, almost forgetting she had done so earlier. “Right, dinner.”

            “Ash--”

“Hey, I’ll be here, okay?” Ash quickly said. “I’ll be back after my shower.”

            Rey looked back at the group that had been watching them. “With your body guards?” She asked.

            Ash frowned. “They’re not my bodyguards.” She looked at Rey again. “Still not happy you didn’t tell me about my husband’s plan.”

            “You didn’t tell me you got married.” Rey countered. “Consider us even.” The two were locked in an intense glaring contest before cracking, their expressions softening as the two laughed lightheartedly. Rey leaning in to hug her friend quickly. “Go shower; we’ll be waiting for you.”

            The duo walked over to the group, offering quick smiles as Brass beamed at Ashlyn. “Ready to go?”

            Poe frowned. “What about dinner?” Brass exchanging glances between Poe and Ashlyn over the plans that he was clearly left out of.

              Ash sighed; another disappointed person over her decision to leave. Luckily, Rey answered for her. “She’s going to shower first.”

            “We have showers here.” Poe was still frowning as he tried to keep Ash on Crait.

“Not like the one on the destroyer.” Ash began to describe the best perk on the entire ship, at least in her mind. “Heated floors.”

            Rey groaned. “I’d kill for heated floors.”

“And no salt in the showers.” Finn chimed in.

            “Or Porgs.” Rey added; beaming brightly at the ex-trooper as they stood next to each other.

            “Porgs are still a problem?” Ash asked incredulously. She hadn’t seen or heard a Porg since their invasion on the Falcon.

            “Sort-of.” Finn explained. “Pretty sure the crystal foxes ate a lot of them--” Ash grimaced at the thought. “But every now and again we find another one hopping around.”

            Brass smirked. “You screwed up a planet’s ecosystem by bringing those things here.”

“Not exactly our choice.” Rey grumbled at the thought of cleaning up after the Porgs.

            “Anyway!” Ash interrupted the conversation, looking at Brass. “Shall we?”

“Yes, ma’am!” Brass mock saluted.

            Ash groaned at the gesture. “What did I say about saluting?” She really, **_really_** hated the saluting.

Rey, Finn and Poe exchanged mischievous glances before standing up straight and saluting Ashlyn, making her groan more as she began to stomp off. “You’re all the worst!” She called back to them as the group laughed.

* * *

  


            The hot shower was exactly what Ashlyn needed. The steam and warm water was relaxing her muscles as she hummed mindlessly. Heated floors were seriously the best; her feet were in heaven! She placed her arm on the marble wall, resting her head against it as she let everything soak in for a moment.

            In those three days, she didn’t reach out to Kylo Ren. Not after their encounter in the salt mine. He needed to be alone and she needed to have faith. Something easier said than done.

            She’d be lying if she said she didn’t miss him. She did, she really truly did. However, the events of the previous night continued to play in her mind over and over again. Hux’s concern over who could stop Ren if they needed to. He seemed so certain that Ash could be the one to do it. She wasn’t so sure.

            It was hard for Ash not to debate with herself over what the Force was expecting from her. It seemed so simple; protect everyone, use the stone, not let anyone die, oh and stop her husband from turning completely evil. Easier said than done.

            Ash truly realized then she didn’t understand a lot about the Force and what her destiny was. While she wanted to protect everyone; that lingering fear of her nightmares continued to haunt her. She had yet to see an outcome where everyone lived. Maybe that was all a repercussion from not being able to use the stone? And as for Kylo Ren? Was her destiny really set on stopping him? Had it always been about stopping him? Anakin had mentioned that he could never be brought back to the Light, so what was Ashlyn supposed to do about him? How could Ashlyn stop him, if that was even what she was supposed to do?

            She inhaled deeply, allowing the warm steam to soak into her lungs before exhaling as she reluctantly turned off the hot water. She knew she couldn’t just sit around in the shower all day and contemplate, people were expecting her. Although, she totally wished she could.

            Wrapping a white fluffy towel around her body (Ash was shocked it wasn’t black) and walked out of the refresher. She ran her fingers through her wet, red locks as she entered the main living area. Looking up, she jumped at the sight before her, a yelp escaping her lips as she stared at him. Of course, he was smirking and proud that he had startled her. “You’re back?”

            Ren’s brow quirked upward at her very obvious observation. “I am.”

“When?” She asked; her eyes still wide as she stared at the man who seemingly just appeared out of mid-air.

            “Just now.” He answered simply, before walking over to her and kissing the wet hair on the top of her head. He continued around her and to the refresher, entering a cloud of steam as he did.

            The curious part about it all was that Ash hadn’t even felt his presence. In fact, she **_still_** couldn’t. That swarming darkness that she had felt ever since he found the stone was gone. Hell, even just their general bond felt different.

            He walked out of the refresher, noticing Ash had turned to face him. A questionable expression on her face as that stupid, smug smirk tugged on his lips. “You’re wondering why you can’t feel me.” She frowned at how easy he read the thoughts she didn’t even realize she had been projecting. “I’m fine, there’s no need to worry.”

            That answered absolutely nothing. “But why can’t I feel you?” She blurted out, a slight panic in her voice. “What about all that darkness? I felt it when you left; I felt it when I projected...”

             He let out a chuckle, distracting her from her thoughts. “I found a way to balance the darkness within me. Why is that so hard to understand?” Her jaw fell slack at his explanation, unable to find words to grasp the situation in its entirety. She didn’t have time to regardless, he was already making his way over to her; his tall frame towering over her as he looked down at her. “Everything’s fine, I promise.” A part of her didn’t feel reassured as he gently cupped her face and leaned down to kiss her passionately. A simple gesture he had wanted to do for days now; he missed her.

            It didn’t feel right. It didn’t feel like Ashlyn was kissing her husband. A silly thought to have, it was clearly him standing in front of her. But, she began to second guess it. He felt different, like a stranger. Sure, she could feel bits and pieces of him when they kissed. But, the overall feeling was off.

            He didn’t give her time to register it as his hands gently tugged on the white, fluffy towel around her body. “I’ve missed you…” He said softly into her lips.

            Her mind began to fog then. “Ben, I have to get back to Crait...”

He paused for the briefest of moments before kissing her again. “Please…” He murmured into her lips. “I feel like I’ve been gone for years. We can go after.” Ren gave her no time to object, kissing her forcefully again and rendering her senses useless as his hands found their way to her bare body. While Kylo Ren felt different in many ways, he still had a way of dizzying her. She was definitely going to be late to dinner…

 

* * *

 

           

            Hux stomped into the communications hub; his steps angry and heavy as he did. “When the hell did he get back?” Hux asked the duo that sat in there.

            “Ten minutes or so--” Brass informed them. “We had no prior warning, no engagement. He simply came in and landed. Luckily, we tracked the ship, otherwise we would have fired.” Brass looked from Hux, to Phasma, then back to Hux; he noticed immediately their silent exchange. “Are we not happy to have the Supreme Leader back?” They didn’t answer. Brass inhaled deeply, his shoulders rising and rapidly falling as he exhaled. “We are not happy to have the Supreme Leader back.”

            “We are.” Hux replied snappily. “We’re very happy to have his unannounced ass back on this ship. We’re very happy that he had no contact with us for almost four days and absolutely and completely ecstatic to be left in the dark to all of his plans.”

            Phasma’s brow quirked upward. “You’re starting to sound like Ashlyn.”

Hux glared at the blond. “Her frustrations are warranted.”

            “Well, this is all fine and dandy, but--” Brass interjected. “What happens now?”

The trio then realized, somewhat horrifically, that they did not have an answer. Sure, they all knew the end game was to defeat Snoke, get Ren into power and then change the ordered governments to a less corruptive one. However, the elephant in the room still remained. They were unsure what exactly they needed to do now. “Our Force friends needs to get their act together.”

            “A noble request hindered by the stubbornness of all three of them…” Phasma drawled.

Hux stopped pacing, he hadn’t realized he even started in the first place, before adjusting and straightening his posture. “Any word from our eyes on the Finalizer?”

            “They’re assembling.” Phasma informed them. “They’re getting ready for war, however, it’s unclear if they know our whereabouts.”

              Brass frowned contemplatively. “Maybe they’re readying for an attack from us?”

“You know as well as I do that that is not the case.” Phasma added. She had a point.

              “Then we tell the Resistance our findings.” Hux finally said; receiving two uncertain looks from his Captain and Lieutenant. “They need to prepare as much as we do.”

           

         

* * *

  

           

 

            Stars, she was sore. The shower did nothing to alleviate any of it. Granted, the very rough and passionate love making with her husband really did not help either. While that familiar feeling of their intimate moment was a breath of relief for Ashlyn, there was still that lingering sense of dread pooling in the back of her mind. What if Hux was right and Kylo Ren was slipping further and further into darkness? Then again, slipping would imply the beginning of it and like Ashlyn feared, her husband already had.

            However, he was a sneaky son-of-a-bitch and any glances she tried to steal in his general direction while the two dressed, or even brief moments to channel what he was feeling, he stiffened and blocked her out completely. Even then, he still took the time to try and throw her off the scent even more so by kissing her tenderly whenever she was in reach. That was when Ash realized, he was trying to keep her from going back to Crait. She wouldn’t be so distracted. At least, she’d try.

            Ash smiled slightly, wrapping her arms around his waist after she was finally able to get fully dressed. “I promised them.” She explained. “I’m already late as it is.”

            He frowned; that possessive part of him coming to light in that moment. “Starshine, I just got back.” Regardless of the darkness that was surging within him; hiding beneath the surface as to not cause any alarm within the Grey User, it didn’t hinder any feelings he had for her. He really did just want her all to himself then.

            Her smile didn’t falter as she tried to bargain with him. “Then come down with me; spend some time with us. We could all use a break.” In her mind, she hoped that maybe the interaction with everyone would be a good distraction for him. A part of her also not wanting to admit she was afraid to be alone with him for too long right now. At least, not until she could pin down exactly what was going on.

            Kylo Ren was torn for a lot of reasons. He wanted his wife happy, which meant joining her to Crait. However, that also left him open to Rey. If anyone could sense exactly what was happening within him, it was probably her considering her new insight ability. If he joined Ash, he’d have to be on his guard just a little more so than usual tonight. He couldn’t lose this darkness, he finally bonded with it. He needed it. It kept Ash safe in the long run. Or so he believed in some corrupted capacity. “How has training been?” He finally asked, trying to keep the subject off Crait. Although he silently was agreeing to joining her.

            “I’m really sore.” She forced a laugh as she pulled away from him; stretching slightly and feeling her tense muscles resist against the movement. “But Rey and I made some progress. You’ll be training with us tomorrow, right?”

            He frowned. “You really want me to go to Crait.”

“Well, it’s a step towards saving the Galaxy and all that.” She retorted.

            It was then that Kylo Ren realized he wasn’t going to be winning this battle tonight, at least, he wasn’t going to be winning it if he wanted to keep his new formed darkness persona a secret. Reluctantly, he sighed and nodded. “Fine, let’s go to Crait.”

            That blip of uncertainty; something Ren didn’t even notice that came from him. In that moment, Ash felt him. She felt that piece of him that seemed like it was gone forever the moment he returned. A piece of her husband that he thought he was rid of; Ash felt it, even for the briefest of moments. That small blip that gave Ash the biggest sense of hope that maybe all of this wasn’t lost. Maybe her husband really was still hiding behind those golden orbs. So, she smiled. That smile that made Kylo Ren weak on his knees and caused him to crumble every damn time.

            Horrifyingly he realized that Rey was not his biggest threat anymore. No, the person who could compromise his new power was the same person he was trying to protect. And now he was about to travel with her down to the shark pit where he could lose his resolve all together. What the hell did Kylo Ren just get himself into?

           

* * *

 

            The walk to the launch bay was silent for the most part, until the duo was saluted by Ascension personnel. While Kylo Ren didn’t really care to give them any second glance, he did notice how uncomfortable his wife became over the gesture. In fact, he couldn’t help but smirk at the face she made over it. “I hate it, you know I hate it.” Ash mentioned in passing as her husband chuckled.

            “You learn to ignore it.”

“I don’t think I ever will.” She grumbled.

            His smug smirk only grew. “You’re still angry with me.” It wasn’t a question but more of an observation as they entered the launch bay on the destroyer.

            She was. Although, she didn’t really think on it until that moment. Her lips pursed slightly. Yes, she was still indubitably angry with him. Granted, in some sick world where his actions could be defended, she technically had an inkling as to what his ultimate plan was. That still didn’t make it okay that he tried to keep it hidden from her. Instead, she wouldn’t give him the satisfaction of a fight. “I am, considering you had people following me while you were gone. But I have bigger things to worry about right now than yelling at you over it.”

            “Which is?”

“Well, one of them is that my husband likes to start fights with me just because he finds it funny.” She gave him a knowing look.

             Kylo Ren stopped her, grabbing her wrist gently and pulling her towards him. For once, he didn’t care who was around to see him act this way with her. “I do it out of love.”

             She rolled her eyes, unable to hide the smile that was forming on her lips. “Yeah, yeah. You keep saying that.”

He leaned a little closer to her. “Because it’s true.”

            “Oh, stars. Now that he’s back these two are going to be making out all over the damn ship again, aren’t they?” The two Force Users looked over at the newly arrived General, Captain and Lieutenant before Ash pulled away from him completely. “At least everything is back to normal.” Hux continued as Ren glared at him for the interruption.

            “Came to see us off, General?” Ash asked, albeit somewhat suspiciously. She expected Brass to follow her down and keep an eye on her, but was it really necessary when Kylo Ren had returned?

            “We’re coming with you, troublemakers.” Hux explained dutifully before continuing to the transport unit. Ash and Ren exchanged glances before following the group onto the transport unit.

            “And you’re joining us because--?” No one was making this whole hiding-out-in-plain-sight thing easy for Kylo.

            Hux didn’t turn around to look at him. “I have things to discuss with General Organa. Also, I hear there is dinner being served.” Conveniently, Hux left out the seemingly obvious part about keeping an eye on them. To say it was the most awkward ride of Ashlyn’s life would be an understatement as a deafening silence echoed throughout the transporter cabin.

 

* * *

 

           

           

            Armitage Hux had a bad feeling, which included, but was not limited to, the idea that Ashlyn was fully aware of the state of her husband and was hiding it from him. Whether it was warranted or not; it was a fear he had nonetheless. He didn’t want to take matters into his own hand, should the circumstance would come to fruition. He didn’t think he could either way. But, if his fears over Kylo Ren were to ever become a reality, then someone was going to have to do it. For now, he’d be diligent and ever watchful of his friend and Leader.   
           

           Although, unsure what the vibe on the transport unit actually was, there was a few things that were made clear to him. Ren was avoiding Ash, even if it was such an insignificant gesture in doing so, he was and Hux noticed. Then, there was the other awkward avoidance between Phasma and Ash. A lingering fight from a previous day still hovering over the two. He knew Ash felt bad about it, it was obvious in how she carried herself around Phasma. He also knew how Phasma felt, or rather, the hidden feelings of the woman he had come to love over the years. She kept everything inward, even though he knew that it was truly tearing her up apart as well. He wished he had Brass’s ignorance then. The man kept trying to make sarcastic jokes and light of the situation they were in.

            To everyone’s relief (and now building concern of Brass), when the ship landed, they all practically ran off the ship… except for Brass. Was it something he did, he wondered.

           

 

* * *

 

           

            It all came down to the two of them; Ash and Kylo Ren. It always had and it always would. Forget everything she had learned of the prophecy, forget the triangle; the battle of Light and Dark. There was so much more to it. A lot of it she didn’t truly understand. However, there was one thing growing increasingly clear. Only one of them could win in this game of chess they were unknowingly playing with one another.

            Ash felt she held a sense of responsibility for Kylo Ren; in truth, she did. Whatever his actions were, be it for good or malicious intent, she was responsible. In that weight of responsibility came the need to keep him safe and also keep everyone around him safe. If Ren was being consumed by darkness, she was going to need to find a way to stop him without alerting the Resistance or the the Ascension; least of all, Rey. Her fatal flaw in needing to protect everyone came down to this divide. How did she keep everyone safe when the one person she wanted to protect was the one causing harm? She couldn’t let anyone know of her concerns over her husband, not yet. There was still some part of her, a rather ignorant part, that wanted to believe he really did find balance within the darkness.

            Unbeknownst to her, he really thought he had too. In some sick way, Ren thought this was how it was supposed to be. That what he was feeling was natural. Even if the remaining parts of Ben Solo was kicking and screaming as he tried to find his way back into some semblance of control. Kylo Ren wouldn’t let that happen. The Darkness wouldn’t either. Power was blinding and Kylo Ren was completely uncomprehending of what was happening to him. It was in this ignorance that the two were playing a very dangerous game.

            The two were tiptoeing around one another. Ash trying to get answers to a question she was certain she already knew while not alerting anyone to her plan. And then there was Kylo Ren, trying to keep her safe all in the while hiding from her and everyone else. The two were stubbornly destined for failure.

            But, Ashlyn was learning how to play his games and like all games, there was always a winner.

           

* * *

 

            Ash joined the Resistance trio for dinner; keeping her distance from her husband and the Ascension as she did. It was obvious to any outsider that there was a strange tension lingering in the air. Ash was determined to keep some sort of peace.

            “They seem quiet.” Poe nodded to the Ascension leaders as he handed Ash a bowl of meat and rice. Sure, dinner on Crait wasn’t exactly a five-star meal, but it would do.

            Ash shrugged, trying to play it off cooly least she wanted to alert the Light User that was sitting with them. “Hux and Phasma weren’t too keen on Ren leaving for a few days.” It wasn’t a lie. “None of us were. I mean, I get it. He had things to take care of, but still. He shouldn’t be going off alone.”

            “And he’s okay?” Rey asked; she wasn’t really asking about his well-being. However, she had felt it when the trio were on their mission to get the stones. Something was stirring within Kylo Ren and now she couldn’t sense it.

            Ash looked at her bowl, frowning at it slightly as she moved pieces of it around with her fork. “He seems fine.” She didn’t want to sound too eager or too negative. “He just needed to find his balance without the drama of everything else.”

            Rey wasn’t exactly convinced, nor was she ready to argue it. Being in the Light, she had to trust, and she would continue to trust her bond with her friend that she was telling the truth. “Now that he’s back, he can train with us.” She changed the subject as she grinned. “I don’t think he’s going to be ready for how strong we’ve become.”

            Ash laughed. “He’s still probably going to kick my butt.”

“I don’t know, Ash.” Finn chimed in. “You two have been getting better and better each session. He better watch his back.”

            The girls exchanged glances. “I’d pay to see that.” Poe added with a mouthful of rice. “You two kicking his ass.”

            “I’m sure everyone would like to see that.” Finn laughed. “The big bad Kylo Ren losing to self-trained girls.”

            Rey rolled her eyes playfully. “We’re not really self-trained. Master Luke has helped us.”

“And Ren helped me.” Ash confirmed.

            “Then this should be easy!” Poe exclaimed.

Lieutenant Brass had overheard the conversation as he walked over to the group. Sitting with the very intense Ascension leaders was dull and quite boring. He wanted to get in on some fun, and immediately was interested in the topic as he sat down with them. “I’d bet on this one.” He nodded to Poe, his new gambling buddy. “Who you got?”

            “See?” Poe said. “People would love to see it.”

“It’s not going to happen.” Ash replied. “We are not going to be gambling on who would win in a fight.”

            Brass grinned mischievously before standing up, addressing the room of soldiers and personnel. “Who would bet on these two lovely ladies right here beating the Leader of the Ascension in a light sword battle?”

            Ash groaned as the group excitedly cheered the notion. “It’s called a lightsaber…” She mumbled, Rey gently patted her on the back in understanding.

            “This is utterly ridiculous--” Rey added as the room went quiet.

“Piece of cake.” The baritone voice echoed in the room as Ash and Rey looked up to see he was now standing; smirking slightly as he stared at them.

            Rey frowned as she stood to the challenge. “Your confidence is misplaced.”

His brow quirked upward. “I think not.”

            While red flags should have been going off in Kylo Ren’s head; the raging darkness within him wanted the challenge. It excelled in the challenge of defeating Light and Grey. He was giving in to the excitement of the fight. The Eye of the Sun stone was only making it worse.

            Yet, in similar fashion, the Heart of the Universe stone that Rey channeled was also brewing for the fight. The clash of Light and Dark beginning. It was only the Grey User, whose stone was not functioning, that had something against this. “We should probably just wait to train in the morning…” She suggested, looking at Poe, Finn and Brass for help. They were not giving it to her.

            “You should listen to your friend, **_scavenger_**.” Ren taunted. “She knows you won’t win.”

Rey glared; but before she could yell angry obscenities over to the man in black, Ash reluctantly stood. She let out an exaggerated breath before reluctantly agreeing. “Alright, let’s kick his ass.”

            The room erupted into excited cheers as Brass began yelling something about taking bets. Rey looked back to Ash and offered a reassuring smile. “We can do this.” Ash only nodded, trying to keep her own concerns as hidden as possible as the trio relocated to the open area outside the base.

* * *

  


            Word spread like wildfire of the sparring session that was being held after dinner and soon there was a crowd forming by the main entrance of the base. The onlookers kept a decent distance from the Force Users, not wanting to get in the way of the fight. Brass had collected over five hundred credits, two hundred of it coming from Hux who eagerly bet on Ash and Rey. He wanted to see Kylo Ren get his ass kicked.

            Leia and Luke had caught wind of the commotion and joined the onlookers. While not exactly approving over the reason behind the bet, Luke had tried to reason that maybe this was good training and also a humbling experience for the trio. Leia, however, saw it as a game oh who was the strongest _._ She wasn’t wrong. However, when Brass sheepishly came over to ask her who she picked to win, while she didn’t actually bet, her money would have been on the girls.

            The excitement began to turn to uncertainty quickly when the stones were mentioned. Those who (sort-of) understood what Kylo Ren and Rey’s stones did at a bare minimum, also realized that they didn’t know what Ashlyn could do. While not many knew that Ash couldn’t use her stone, the masses were unsure if it would be dangerous or not.

            The sun of Crait was beginning to set as three blades ignited in the distance; one red, one blue and one amber. Ash looked at the bloodthirsty Light and Dark Users, feeling her stomach begin to tie in knots as she asked one last time. “You guys sure about this?”

            Ren swung his saber lazily and without much effort. “No backing out now, starshine.”

She sighed, dejectedly. “And it’s still Rey and I versus you?”

            “It only seems fair, considering the power I have.” Ren snorted smugly.

Rey rolled her eyes. “And when we kick your ass, it’ll be all the sweeter.”

            Ren smirked wickedly. “I’d like to see you try.”

Ash and Rey exchanged silent glances before both quickly charging for the man in black, their sabers tightly in hand as they swiped down at him. Kylo Ren was ready. He dodged Ashlyn’s attack and countered Rey’s only to immediately duck from Ashlyn’s next swing.

 

* * *

 

            The onlookers watched in the distance as the blue, red and orange blades danced chaotically. Kylo Ren clearly dominating the playing field again; although it made sense considering the stone in his possession.

            “The stone gives him a heightened strength, and while Rey can predict it, it’s still powerful blows.” Luke explained to the group watching. “This will also help Rey and Ash understand how to counter raw power. Once facing Snoke, they won’t have anything but their survival skills to protect them.”

            Poe didn’t particularly like how careless Kylo Ren seemed with his swings. “He’s not going to hurt them, is he?”

            Hux contributed. “He wouldn’t. He has more control than that.” Although, deep down, he wasn’t so certain of that.

 

* * *

 

            Kylo Ren raised his arm, knocking Ashlyn back with force as she landed on her back with a thud. A loud groan coming from her as she rolled onto her front, propping herself up on her knees. She was slightly winded from all of it.

            Rey slashed and jabbed at Kylo Ren, barely missing him or colliding with his saber at each and every turn. He began to grow more aggressive on his defense before suddenly throwing a more offensive stance at her. Something Rey was not exactly prepared for as he threw stronger and faster attacks at her.

            Ash watched on in horror, noticing how dangerous this was becoming. “Enough, Ben!” She yelled to them. He didn’t stop.

            Rey continued to deflect his attacks, but quickly was losing speed as he then hit down with intense power. Rey deflected, but only barely as she stumbled backwards, landing on her behind.

            She saw it, they both did. The sudden blackness that took over his eyes as he began to stomp forward. He wasn’t in control, Ash knew that, Rey didn’t. She wasn’t moving. Quickly, to her feet, Ash ran forward and between the two, knowing she would probably get hit but not caring. Rey needed her help. Her arm went up, ready to take the blow of the lightsaber… however… it never came.

            Instead, a loud **_thud_** echoed outside of Crait as Ash opened her eyes. Kylo Ren had been thrown backwards, now lying on the ground. Between them, a grey, opaque bubble that surrounded the girls.

           Ren sat up, his head fogging slightly, but the darkness was starting to subside again as he tried with everything in him to recall it. He stared at the grey bubble that was shielding the two girls; the bubble that Ash created. “Holy shit!” Ash exclaimed as it disappeared. She stood up, helping Rey to her feet before looking down at her hands again. She didn’t **_feel_** different. Something that had always been inside her was finally breaking free.

          Rey was focused on Kylo Ren as he came to his feet again. “What the hell was that about, Ren?!” She exclaimed. “You could have killed us!”

           “Rey--” Ash tried as Poe and Finn ran over in a panic.

“What the hell was that?” Poe exclaimed, looking at Ashlyn.

            Luke answered for her as he walked over; he looked unamused. “Tomorrow, we start at dawn and finish your training.” He looked at Rey then to his nephew. “All of you.” Luke Skywalker felt something; a power that was pulling at his nephew that he knew none of them understood. It was time to take control of the situation before it fell apart even more.

            Ash tried again, walking over to Rey in hopes to explain something, **_anything_**. Instead, Rey pulled away from her, not allowing her to get closer as she shook her head. “Don’t.” She said sternly. “Just don’t, Ash.”

            As Rey began to walk away, followed by the sorry expressions of Finn and Poe. She realized she was now standing on the outside of it all, looking back in as only she and Kylo Ren stood on the salt field of Crait. Everyone had left them and began heading inside. It became perfectly clear that no matter what she tried to do in keeping some peace, there would always be a clear divide and Ash would always find herself in the middle of it all.

 

The path of the Grey was to always hold the balance together and even though she found her new ability, she also found herself directly in the middle of an invisible war between the Light and the Dark.


	62. Finding Traction

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ben Solo tries to regain his sanity. Ash promises to save him if she has to. The Force Trio tries to regain some traction.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guys, seriously. Thank you all so much for your comments, support, for sticking through this story. It's gotten so long haha. We are almost there. This chapter Kylo Ren tries to get his shit together, Ash promises to save him. There's a war on the horizon. so much is happening! 
> 
> Remember to comment and let's keep this going!

 

* * *

                An obvious and apparent shift was noticed immediately as the next few days rolled out. Rey was barely speaking to Ash and Ash was barely speaking to Kylo Ren. Kylo Ren was just as angry as ever over all of it and things were falling apart. They were so close to the finish line, why did this need to come down now, of all times?

                 Luke Skywalker was at a loss when it came to his nephew and the two other Force Users. In their training sessions, everything seemed so chaotic and ripping from the seams. No one was focused; the trio were in shambles trying to find the balance that Ash had been trying so desperately to give them. It showed, Ash was **_trying_**. But, it was becoming a lost cause in Luke’s eyes. No matter how hard Ashlyn tried, even if it was with the best intentions, it did nothing if the three of them couldn’t keep their act together.

               After each session, Kylo Ren would storm off and head back to the Destroyer. Rey would disappear to her room on Crait or find Finn to hang out with; leaving Ash to not know where to turn any longer. Time was running out and it weighed heavily on everyone.

            While it was affecting everyone different; Kylo Ren had been taking it surprisingly the hardest. But, that was perhaps due to the fact that Ash was hiding from him, his plan was falling apart, oh, and the fact that Ben Solo was trying to regain control of the power that was corrupting him. Ben Solo wanted Ashlyn happy, Ben Solo wanted to stop Snoke for the right reasons, Ben Solo was on the dark side but was ultimately a good person. The Eye of the Sun wanted to corrupt that. It saw the weakness within him and ran with it. It overtook him. And yet, Ben Solo was still in there somewhere, kicking and screaming because he knew if he had no control, Ash would be in trouble. All of this would fail if he could not come to terms with Ben Solo and Kylo Ren being one in the same with similar goals. However, that was proving impossible considering Kylo Ren wanted power and domination. At least, they had one thing to motivate them… they both wanted Ash in the end.  

            The night of their second day training, Kylo Ren was a man of desperation; he was so desperate that he did the only thing he could think of. He went to Luke.

            “I’m surprised you’re still down here.” Luke mused as Kylo Ren stumbled upon him in the salt mines. “You seem to scatter back to the destroyer the moment we’re through training.” He was meditating on a large salt rock. His eyes closed, yet his brow quirking upward as he waited for his nephew to say something.

            “I need your guidance.” He said with a reluctant huff.

Luke opened one eye to look at him, noticing the torn expression on his nephew’s face before closing it again. “You need **_my_** guidance? What changed?”

            “I know you can sense the darkness from the stone; the power it’s giving me.” He explained. “I almost killed Rey.”

            “And your wife stopped you.” Luke reminded him gently, opening both eyes now. “The Grey Guardian prevented you from destroying the Light, as she was meant to do.” He stared with such an intensity at his nephew. A part of him wanting nothing more than to provide the help he seemed desperate to have. And yet another part remembering the dark potential that was lurking within him. “You’re playing with dangerous stuff, Ben.” He flinched slightly at the name. “You must harness the power from the stone, but you can’t let it consume you.”

            Ren frowned. “How?”

“Be stronger than it. You know you are. Absolute power is a tantalizing concept, one that all Force Users face and must learn to fight it’s tempting ways. Some fail, but only the strongest can succeed in fighting it. If you can’t keep your head above water, you’ll drown.” Luke’s expression was stone as he asked. “You haven’t begun sinking yet, have you?”

            “No.” Ren all but snapped at that conclusion. “I’m concerned for the safety of not just Rey, but Ash as well. I almost lost control.” That was quite the understatement. While killing Rey wasn’t exactly his biggest concern, that dormant part that was still Ben Solo wanted to protect Ash above all.

            Luke nodded, sitting back a little as he contemplated what his nephew was saying, while still trying to find insight on what he was sensing. However, he couldn’t sense much from his nephew. An odd thing, really. Why was he trying to hide so hard? “The stones energy’s contradict one another. The Eye of the Sun and the Heart of the Universe will consistently try to destroy one another. It was a reaction from within, the two of you were unable to stop it. Now you know--” Luke explained. “But, I wonder in knowing this now, will it keep you from letting it consume you?”

            Kylo Ren’s arms crossed over his chest. “It won’t consume me.”

“I’m afraid it already has.” Luke challenged, frowning slightly. He wasn’t stupid, he was better at sensing these things than Ash and Rey. He had years of experience. Of course, he would detect it. Yet, he knew he couldn’t interfere. He needed his nephew to do it on his own. They all did. Otherwise, things would not work how they were supposed to. “There’s hope.” Luke added. “You’re a hard soul to save; stubborn and set in your ways. But, there’s always hope.”

            “If you believe that I’ve been consumed by it, why haven’t you tried to stop me? Why didn’t you keep me from fighting with Rey and Ash? They could have been killed.” Ren’s voice raised as he accused his uncle. If he had already known, why wasn’t he outed?

            “Because I’m not the hope you need, Ben.” Luke said. “The sooner you understand that, the sooner you’ll accept the help when it comes knocking.”

            A part of him understood; the very same part that wanted to regain control. “And what if I kill her?” He asked abruptly, receiving a strange look from his Uncle. “What if I kill her because I don’t want her to stop me?”

            “I’ve heard there are many outcomes to this.” Luke began. “Everything from the three of you dying, to Rey ending you, you ending Ash… they all end in death. At least, the ones you seem so certain of. There’s always a way, but this is something only you three can face. No one else can help you now.”

            Ren glared at his uncle. “This has been a complete waste of time.”

“Because I didn’t give you the answer you wanted?”

             “Because this thing is taking over me and you’re not doing anything to stop it!” He shouted; stopping himself as he let Ben Solo slip out for the briefest of moments. A last desperate attempt to regain control. Luke had been honest, this wasn’t his fight. His fight was years ago. It was up to him now to change the course of the future. A future the darkness would not so easily give up.

              Luke removed himself from the rock and walked over to his nephew. He didn’t let the young man’s anger intimidate him as he gently placed his hand on Ren’s shoulder. “I failed you. I know that. I was never meant to be the one to bring you back from all of this. To protect you. I wish I were and in trying to be, I caused this. I caused this divide within you; this hatred and anger. You were meant for the dark side, I was foolish to let my fears get in the way of helping my nephew grow. Now, it’s all up to you. You and the two girls who came from nothing and hold everything. I can’t interfere with the future and what the Force has planned. In doing so, it will only make things worse.” Luke couldn’t remember the last time he spoke to his nephew like this; like an Uncle, a caring family member that wanted nothing but the best for him. It seemed so long ago. “Trust in the girls now. Trust that Ash can bring you back.”

               His lips parted slightly, a feeling of dread taking over as he finally asked. “At what cost to her?”

“Whatever it takes.” Luke replied sadly. “Destiny is cruel, but it’s the results that follow that make it all worth it.”

            No, he wouldn’t allow it to come to that. He wouldn’t allow Ash to be hurt by whatever this was taking over him. He was going to keep her safe. He was going to stop whatever destiny had in store for them and make his own. Of that, he was certain. Angrily, he pulled away from Luke and stormed out of the cave.

 

* * *

 

            Luckily for Ashlyn, the destroyer was large enough to hide on. Sure, she would leave with Kylo Ren to head down for training and return with him. Yet, she didn’t stay in their apartment with him. He understood why she was pulling away. Ash needed to find that balance and she needed to keep it. She couldn’t be swayed by Dark or Light. However, it was safe to say that Ashlyn Solo was really bummed out over recent events.

            She sat in the maintenance hub, her head resting on the work bench as she idly tinkered with some spare parts. She was upset for a number of reasons; how she treated Phasma, how upset Rey was at her. Kylo Ren was also a big factor in all this. Yet, she didn’t know what to do. She had no idea how to bring everything together peacefully without it blowing up in her face, as it typically seemed to do.

            “Before you say anything about destiny, what I have to do, and all of that other nonsense--” She grumbled to the no longer empty room. “I’ve been **_trying_**.”

            “Have you?” Ash lifted her head to see the smirking Anakin Skywalker sitting across from her. What was with the Skywalker men and that stupid, smug smirk? “You seem torn.”

            Ash scoffed, sitting upright then. “No kidding. My husband is battling with the darkness and losing. Rey hates me for lying to her; Phasma hates me for threatening her… oh and we are running out of time.” She sighed, resting her elbows on the table and putting her head in her hands. “But, I did learn what my ability is. So, hey, silver lining and all that...”

            “That’s a positive thing.” Anakin nodded. “You can create a shield.”

“It’s a bubble.” She retorted.

            “A **_protective_** bubble.” Anakin somewhat teased. “You’re the Guardian, Ash. It’s not easy to protect the ones you love. And in trying to take the entire burden for yourself, you will only set yourself up for failure. You have to learn to juggle and give and take when the time comes.”

            She frowned into her hands. “And how do you propose I do that?”

“Start by forgiving. Forgive yourself, forgive him and apologize to those who you’ve wronged. Once you let go, you can start from square one again. Bring hope to those who need it most, by putting your faith in them too. It’s not so one sided. You’re part of a triangle, each point has to be strong for themselves and for the other. Don’t forget that.”

            Ash lifted her head again, looking at Anakin. “You said you were hoping for one of the outcomes. That it was your favorite. How close are we to achieving it?”

            “You know I can’t tell you that--”

“Please…” Ash sighed in defeat. “I just need something… **_anything_** to go on right now.”

            He pursed his lips; he was going to get in a whole lot of trouble. Granted, Master Yoda always played dirty when it came to the Force and messing with it. He clearly wasn’t the worst Force Ghost by comparison. “I’d say you’re on your way.” She sat back, slouching slightly in the chair as her arms falling limp at her sides. It was such a vague answer, but at least, it had some weight to it. “Keep fighting, Ash. It’s not over yet.”

            Even as Anakin disappeared, that positive weight remained. Perhaps there was something to this _hope-mumbo-jumbo_. She needed to set the example for Ren and Rey. They couldn’t do this without her and Ash most certainly couldn’t do this without them either. It was a triangle, she had to remember that. And most importantly, she had to keep fighting.

            The door to the maintenance room opened, and Ash felt that blip again. That familiar sensation of the man she fell in love with. It was twisted, it was different, but a part of him was still there. Unknowing to her, it was a part that was trying to fight back. He swiftly walked to the maintenance bench where Ash sat. He was holding something, and with a loud **_thud_** , he dropped it onto the table.

            Her eyes lit up as she stared at the familiar, old and tattered book. “You found it?” She asked incredulously as she opened the book to see the planets she had missed. For a brief moment, she forgot her stress, her troubles and her anger. For a brief moment, she found serenity. She found the missing piece that was Ben Solo again.

            “I haven’t had a chance to give it to you since I returned.” He explained, sitting across from her. “Things have been--” He tried to find the word for it.

            “Chaotic?” Ash finished his sentence, looking up at him as her fingers gently touched the pages of the book of planets. He said nothing, he didn’t have to. Ash understood as she looked back down at the book, skimming through it to see if she could find any of the planets they had visited.

            For the first time since he returned, Kylo Ren felt at peace. He felt it as he watched his wife flip through pages excitedly. It reminded him of a time that felt like ages ago when they used to sit in his apartment on StarKiller and learn about planets together. He had loved her then and was falling in love with her all over again as she read. “I thought I had it under control.” Ren finally admitted. “It keeps pushing its way forward; forcing itself to be the one in charge. I don’t know if I can stop it.”

            Ash looked at him, closing the book gently as she reached across the table for his hands. “You can.” She reminded him hopefully. “You just need to cut the crap about keeping all these secrets. All these lies and tricks; they’re not helping. Let me in, let me help.”

            He frowned. “And how do you plan on helping?”

Her expression dropped as she thought for a moment. “I really don’t know…” She said. “That doesn’t mean I can’t try.” His lips quirked upward ever-so-slightly. Stars, she had a way of making him feel like everything could be okay in this awful galaxy. Even if it was mostly due to naivety.  “But you can start by not lying and manipulating your way to get what you want.” She added quickly. “You’re running out of loyal people who will continue to back up your shit. And I’m still **_really_** ticked off at you.”

            Ren looked down at both of their hands, rearranging their position so he was now in control. It was a complex; a need to be in charge as he gently began touching the tops of her hands and working his way to her palms. “And how can I get you not so ticked off at me and continue to _back up my shit_? As you so eloquently put it.”

            Ash’s eyes narrowed. “For one, don’t mock me.”

“Don’t be so easy to mock then.” Ash tried to pull her hands away then, he was faster and gripped them just a little tighter, preventing her from pulling back fully. “You promised me that you were going to be by my side through all of it.” He said. “Did you really mean it?”

            She didn’t hesitate. “Yes.”

“And if this consumes me?”

            “It won’t--”

He interrupted her. “If it already has.”

            She thought back on her conversation with Hux. If Ren was already corrupted; who was going to stop him? It almost seemed like even her husband was asking her to. The pressure was growing heavier and heavier as she realized she may not have a choice in the matter. “I won’t let it keep you.”

            His golden orbs stared back at her, a thick tension taking over the room as they silently battled. The darkness within him wanted to challenge her; fight her until her own will was broken. Kylo Ren was not going to give up Ashlyn without a fight, the darkness would count for that little fact. She, like anyone else, could be swayed. At least, in his mind. “So, how do I fix this?” Ren finally asked. Conflicting parts of him wanted to keep causing chaos and yet also wanted to make his wife happy. She deserved that and so much more at this point. Hell, he’d get her her own fucking planet when he became Supreme Leader if it meant she would forgive him.

            “I’m not sure, but--” Ash shook her head, relaxing slightly into his grip as she shrugged her shoulders. “I have to talk to Rey. She’s angry with me.”

            Ren’s frown deepened. “Why? You didn’t try to kill her.”

“But **_you_** did.” Ash sighed in frustration. “I don’t think you understand how this whole _marriage thing_ works, Ben.” There it was, that name again. When she said it, it didn’t sound so disgusting. “When you do something awful, as you typically tend to do, I get blamed for it too. Regardless if I was defending you or not. She’s upset with me because I immediately went to defend your actions and not side with her. I’m done being forced to choose sides. I’m in the middle for a reason and yet I keep getting pulled in by both of you.”

            His eyes darted over to the mess of parts that were sprawled over the workbench. “These for the droid too?” His tone sarcastic.

            “Don’t change the subject, but yes.”

Ren exhaled deeply. “Fine. Let’s talk to Rey and sort this mess out since clearly you women need to talk about your feelings.”

            Ashlyn wasn’t so easily baited into the fight he wanted to start. Instead, she triumphantly managed to slip her hands from his grasp and sat back in the chair. “Maybe that’s why you always seem to get yourself into trouble, because you can’t talk about yours.”

            He smirked wickedly at her jab. “I have other methods of taking out my aggressions, Starshine. You should know that.”

She played right back. “And you should know I have ways of continuing to avoid you so you can’t.”

            Kylo Ren simpered, sitting back in his chair now to match her position. “You’re cute when you’re mad.”

“And you’re insufferable always.” She smirked; something told her that she was winning this game of theirs. She was proven right when he rolled his eyes and grinned.

             “Let’s go grovel for forgiveness then.”

Ash’s smirk dropped as her brows knitted together. “Not if you’re going to be insincere.”

            A scoff left him as he removed himself from the chair. “I promise you, I will make this all worth it. Now grab your little toys for the droid and let’s go to Crait before it gets too late.”

            Ash grabbed at his wrist, forcing him to stop moving to the door and now looking down at her. “Ben…” Her tone was pleading; an unmistakable plea in her voice that was begging him to behave. When she got like that, it was hard to ignore. With another exasperated sigh, he nodded at his wife before leaning down and kissing the top of her head lovingly and longingly.

            “I promise…” He said again; this time he meant it. And while it felt as though nothing and yet everything was beginning to fall into place. Ash did the only thing she could do right then and there, like she had always been forced to do. She accepted that this was his attempt at trying and would have to trust him.

            Yet, there was that other promise that was now lingering between them. The promise that Ashlyn Solo would stop him at any cost should the time ever come. A promise she didn’t want to ever be reminded of, not then and not ever again.

 

* * *

 

           

            Brass and Poe were not-so-secretly becoming fast friends, or rather “frenemies” as Brass had so lovingly stated. It was their love of competition that had brought them together, and in that passion created an unusual companionship that not only eased the minds of Resistance and Ascension members alike, but made a less hostile arrangement on Crait. Their consistent friendly gambles brought everyone at ease and showed that it was possible for both sides to work together. If they could, perhaps peace in the Galaxy was possible.

            Tonight’s game was Dejarik; the two having worn out Sabacc (and actually banned by Leia for taking too many credits from other players), now they could only ruin each other’s bank accounts.

            The base was quieting down as night covered the salt planet. Brass and Poe sitting near a fire, considering night time was particularly cold on Crait, along with Rey and Finn. Rey seemed particularly quiet; an obvious change in her mood that Finn saw right through as the duo watched the Dejarik game before them.

            “I don’t like seeing you like this.” Finn mentioned quietly, leaning over to the Light User. “Maybe you should talk to her.”

            Rey exhaled sharply, resting her elbow on her knee and her chin in her hand. “I’m tired of lies and secrets and her constantly defending him for his actions. I expect the deceit from Kylo Ren, but not Ash.” She sighed. “I feel so close with her and at times she’s like a sister. And other times I feel like I don’t know who she is anymore.”

            Finn frowned, contemplatively as he tried to understand what Rey was feeling. It was hard for him, considering he was left out of the Force loop. Ash and Rey had a friendship and a bond that he couldn’t quite understand; no one really could except for the girls. “But, isn’t that what she’s supposed to do? She’s not like your or Kylo Ren, she’s in the middle.”

            Rey’s lips quirked up slightly as she looked at Finn. “She is.” She was somewhat proud that Finn was catching on, even if it was a very bare minimum, to what was going on around them. “That doesn’t make it any less hard.”

            “So, if you get upset when she sides with Ren, does he get upset when she sides with you?”

            Rey sat up straight then, something clicking in her mind as she realized how much sense that actually made. “I suppose you’re right.” She looked at Finn; something in her eyes and the way she looked at him, a way that had gone unnoticed by the two of them in their own blissful ignorance. “And I suppose it’s hard for her too. She has to be a balance between us and Ren doesn’t make it easy.” She grimaced slightly. “I haven’t been making it easy for her either.”

            Finn reached over, taking her hand in his and giving it a loving squeeze. “You don’t mean to make it hard for her. I’m sure, as awful as he is, he doesn’t either. From what you’ve told me, it seems like a lot of what happens is out of your control.”

            “Doesn’t mean I can’t try and prevent it.”

“That’s all anyone can ask for.” Finn smiled sincerely.

              Rey felt it then, that sincere and complete feeling she had always wanted. The companionship of someone on a different level than what she had with Ash. A more intimate connection with someone. That person was Finn, it had always been Finn. As her cheeks flushed a bright shade of pink, a reaction she’d deny and say the fire was to blame, she realized just how much Finn meant to her. She could also sense that he was feeling a very similar emotion as Rey’s other hand rested gently on top of his as he continued to hold her hand.

               “Hey, lovebirds!” Brass shouted to them, causing Finn and Rey to jump slightly; their hands immediately separating as they looked over to the smirking Brass and Poe. “We got company.” He nodded to the entrance of the base as the familiar, dark transporter landed and the two other Force Users began to descend down the ramp together.

               Finn rubbed the back of his neck nervously as he tried to regain some composure for the moment before. “You should, uh--” He tried. “You should go talk to her.”

Rey smiled, leaning over and pecking his cheek. “Thank you.” She said softly before getting up. Finn felt his stomach tie in knots as he was left speechless; watching Rey walk away from the group.

                Immediately, Poe and Brass began a chorus of ‘Ooooo’s’ at him, Finn glared. “Oh, shut up!” He yelled defensively as the Commander of the Resistance and the Lieutenant of the Ascension laughed heartily.

 

* * *

 

           Kylo Ren and Ash stopped moving forward as they saw Rey coming over to them. He felt Ash suddenly grow restless and ultimately losing her nerves, before reaching over to her and taking her hand in his. “You okay?” He asked.

             Ash gulped down a rather large and shaky breath as she nodded. “Yeah.” She laughed nervously, squeezing his hand gently before reluctantly breaking away. “We can do this.” She looked up at him reassuringly. “Together.”

              He rolled his eyes, sighing a small chuckle. “Together.” He agreed as Rey caught up to them.

“Hey.” Ash blurted out anxiously.

             Rey looked at her, then to Ren, then back. “Hey.”

“We um--” Ash tried to find the words, finding herself rendering almost useless as she did. How did they begin this? What did they talk about?

            “We need to talk about what’s been going on. The stones, the prophecy; all of it.” Ren filled in the blanks for her; shockingly.

Both girls stood almost dumbfounded, neither one expecting him to be so forward in wanting to talk. However, grateful that someone said it as Rey nodded. “Let’s go somewhere private.”

             Rey lead the group to the debriefing area, thankfully no one had been in there as they sat around the table. Ash took charge of the conversation then. “First, I’m sorry. I’m sorry to you--” She looked at Rey then to Kylo Ren. “Both of you. I learned that I was to bring us all together; balance us, and I’ve been so focused on how I have to do and been trying to do it on my own that I’ve failed to see in doing so I’ve torn us apart.” She explained. “We have to work together, bringing balance isn’t something I can do on my own. It’s something we all have to do and in order to do that, we need to understand each other better. We need to lift each other up when it comes to our strengths and make up for each other’s weaknesses.”

             The trio sat in silence for a moment as they let Ash’s words sink in. It was never about using their abilities to be the strongest, to be able to feel things differently or protect on their own. It was always about using their abilities together. That was how they could balance; only by working together could they win. If they kept trying to lone wolf everything and use their abilities in a more selfish way, they were destined to lose.

             He let his guard down then; everything that Luke had said to him, everything he had learned up until this point, it suddenly make sense. They were going to lose if he didn’t fight against the darkness and use the power for them, not just for himself. It was then, Ben Solo broke through again to take control. The darkness allowed it and that should have worried him more than it did.

            “The power is consuming me; the darkness is too much if I try to harness it alone.” Ren looked at Ash for reassurance, receiving it with a nod as he looked back at Rey. “I almost killed you.” He said; the girls suddenly able to feel him again. They sensed him, they sensed his remorse. It was like a sudden wave of emotion bursting through the room. While, they didn’t understand what it meant, it was a relief on Kylo Ren. “Ash is right, we can only do this if we work together. I can only do this with your help; we complete one another, we balance. If the three of us can work together, we can balance with our stones and we can defeat Snoke.”

          Rey took his words in, letting the weight of them sit there on her shoulders as she felt the energy radiating from him. The darkness, it was back and she could actually feel it this time. It had seemed to subside when he returned, but now here it was and it was raging within him. However, she could feel Light. She could feel the Grey from across the table. They were combating it, they were balancing it. It was then, Rey realized, this could undoubtedly work. She needed to give up her hatred of Kylo Ren, she needed to not hold onto Ash so tightly. They had to become one, they had to work together and she needed to forgive them. “And we will help you.” Rey finally said, looking at Kylo Ren. “Both of us. We’re in this together. But, I need to know you’re going to let us in and that you want the same thing we do.”

            He frowned slightly, as though that were so obvious. “Of course I do.”

Ash sighed with a hesitant relief as she smiled. “We can do this.” She said optimistically. “We can do this and we will do this.”

            “We can.” Rey agreed with an airy chuckle. “It only took us nearly killing each other to realize it.”

            Surprisingly, Kylo Ren smirked at the little quip. “It took a few times of us nearly killing each other.”

Ash laughed with relief then, feeling peace between them as they sat there. For the first time since their search for the stones, Ash felt something between them. She felt the balance. “Luke is going to be pleasantly surprised that we finally figured it out.”

            “Let’s not get ahead of ourselves, starshine.” Ren finally said. “We still need to train and actually make it work. What we feel now might change by morning.”

            Ash frowned. “But we are fine now.”

“No, he’s right.” Rey reluctantly said. “We have to keep pushing for this, it’s not something that we can just let settle. We have to keep the fight going; tomorrow morning and every morning after that.”

            “So--” Ash began. “Let’s fight for tomorrow.” She beamed as she stood from her seat, placing her hand in the center of the table and looking at Rey and Kylo Ren. Rey barely hesitated as she stood and placed her hand on top of Ash’s. The two girls looking at Kylo Ren expectantly.

            He looked at both of them; gawking at how absurd this was. “You’re joking.”

“Teamwork makes the dream work, Ben.” Ash reminded him playfully.

            “You said you’d work with us.” Rey added.

Ren glared then. “I said I would, but this is ridiculous.” They didn’t give in, instead, they patiently waited with their hands in the middle, ready for him to join. When he realized they weren’t going to back down from this demand, he groaned. Ren begrudgingly stood and put his hand on top of the girls’ hands. Rey and Ash were grinning brightly, not just over the fact that the team was coming together, but because they actually got him to do it. And with a silent count of three, they raised their hands, except for Kylo Ren. He just mockingly said ‘ _Go team’_ before regretting every life decision up until this point. He wasn’t into this whole _feelings and hugging it out_ thing, as Ash and Rey were now doing. Even if it made him relax in the long run watching them bond.

            Ash and Rey were hugging each other tightly, happy that their fight was a thing of the past now, a new sense of determination was forming within the group as Ash then realized, she had something else to share. “So…” She began, still holding Rey in place as she grinned mischievously. “You and Finn, huh?”

            Rey quickly pulled away, her face bright red as she stared at Ash wide eyed. Her jaw slack as she stumbled for words. Okay, now Kylo Ren was interested as he smirked. “Looks like we’re not the only ones with secrets anymore.”

            “That’s not a secret!” Rey exclaimed, realizing what she had said. “I mean--” Now she was in for it as Ash hugged her again. “It’s a--”

            “I think it’s great.” Ash reassured her with a quick hug. “You two are cute together.”

Before Rey could stumble more words; Kylo Ren cleared his throat. “Are we done with _girl talk_? It’s getting late.”

            The girls frowned at him, hating he was right over the ‘late’ part of his grumble. Unenthusiastically, they agreed. A silent promise that tomorrow, maybe things would be different. Maybe, just maybe… this could work after all.

* * *

  


            Ash yawned loudly, receiving a knowing look from her husband as the two descended the ramp and set foot onto the destroyer. “I told you it was getting late.” Ren muttered, albeit with a slight playfulness as Ash locked her arm with his, her head resting against it.

            “It’s not exactly a hidden fact that I’m always tired as of late.” She gave it right back to him. “It’s been an exhausting year.”

            He chuckled. “The whole year has been?” Ren asked as the two continued on through the launch bay and towards their apartment. The base was quite as the graveyard shift began; there was no Hux or Phasma in sight. Ashlyn was almost certain Brass was secretly just going to live on Crait now. The peace and quiet was a welcomed change as the two Force Users walked.

            “Well, yeah.” Ash began. “From getting thrown onto StarKiller to work on a super weapon, meeting you and being forced into Force Training--” He gave her a pointed look as she kept her head dead, knowing exactly the kind of look he was giving her. “Sid passing away, Snoke trying to keep us apart, you sending me away, StarKiller blowing up.” She continued with another breath. “Sneaking away to keep our relationship hidden, you nearly getting killed by the First Order. Joining with Rey and finding the stones--”

            “Okay, okay, okay!” Ren interrupted her with another chuckle. “I get it, it’s been a rough year.”

 Ash frowned as she pulled away from him, the two continuing on. “You didn’t let me get to the best part.”

            He sighed, hesitantly asking her what could possibly be the best part, considering everything else seemed to have more negative moments than positive.. “Go on.”

“All this happened and that didn’t stop us from being together.” She said quickly. “We got married, for crying out loud.” She laughed. “The best part of it all is that through all of it, I was able to do it with you.” She paused for a moment. “And whatever happens now, whatever it is that is taking over you… I’m going to help you. We’re going to stop it together.”

            Kylo Ren stopped walking then, Ash took a few more steps before realizing he had, and then stopped as well. She looked at him, unsure what he was feeling. He wasn’t one to show his emotions on his face. Perhaps she had overstepped her boundaries? Did she say something wrong? As she began to panic, he started to walk again. This time, he walked over to her. His hands cupping her face as he leaned down and kissed her lovingly, deeply; passionately. In the only way he knew he could and still it would never convey the message of how much he loved her. How much she meant to him. And even though the kiss practically made Ashlyn melt as her legs began to shake slightly, it still wasn’t enough to him. It wasn’t enough to tell her that she was truly his everything.

            He pulled back from her, yet still hovering close enough to kiss her again should he so wish to do. His thumb began idly stroking her cheek as he looked down at her. His golden orbs locking with her green ones. Ren’s lips quirked upward, a small smile forming as he simply said. “You’re my favorite part, too.”

            She smiled. That smile. Stars, he was losing it. He was absolutely losing it as she did. Whether intended or not from her, she could make him crumble so easily. He groaned in frustration, wasting no time then in bending down and swooping Ash up into his arms. She let out a yelp as her feet left the ground, her body now being carried bridal style as Kylo Ren continued walking down the hall. “I can walk to our apartment myself, thank you very much!”

            “I’m faster.” Ren smirked devilishly; his brow quirking upward almost suggestively. “Besides, we had a very tense day.”

 Ash caught on; laughing at his clear want and need form her as their apartment door came into view. “Is that all you ever think of?”

            “If I’m always thinking of you, it’s bound to come up once in a while.” He replied dryly as the apartment door opened.

            “That would have been such a romantic sentiment if you weren’t hinting at sex at the end.” Ash teased, giving in with a sarcastic sigh. “Fine, husband. Take me to bed.” Her tone was in obvious jest, knowing it would rile him up.

             “That’s the plan, Starshine.” The door closed behind them.

 


	63. How Does A Moment Last Forever (Part 2)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Everyone learns to appreciate the little moments

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Y'all probably thought "That crazy author made a chapter called 'How Does A Moment Last Fover (Part 1)' and totally didn't make a Part 2!' Well, I had a part 2... it's just, it took 60 chapters to get there. So, have this wonderfully fluffy chapter where everyone gets a "moment" to enjoy. The theme is that anything can happen and it's best to enjoy all precious moments as they come. You never know when it will be your last. 
> 
> Remember to leave a comment! We're almost there!

 

* * *

 

“Alright, Ash.” Luke Skywalker began, standing next to the red haired girl as she held her arms out; her focus on Rey standing in front of her. Kylo Ren was standing off to the side, watching intently as Ash tried to make a shield. While unsure exactly how Ash was able to do it in the first place, whether it being Rey in trouble or just the stone finally working, one thing was certain; she needed to be able to do it again. “Imagine the shield; the force field around Rey to keep her safe.”

            Ash frowned in focus as she stared at Rey, who stood perfectly still, waiting for something to happen. Nothing. With an aggravated sigh, Ash threw her arms down. “What if it was a fluke?” She asked in slight panic.

            “It’s not a fluke.” Ren finally chimed in dryly as he ignited his lightsaber. “Rey, may I?” He asked. Hesitantly, Rey nodded as Kylo Ren looked back at Ash. “Stop me from killing her.” He explained nonchalantly as he walked over to Rey, raising his lightsaber in the air and meaning to bring it down directly on the girl.

            “Wait, stop!” Ash yelled, her hand going up immediately as she took a step forward.

Kylo Ren brought his lightsaber down, the saber stopping as it hit the grey shield that came between Rey and Ren.

            Ash’s eyes went wide as Luke mumbled an ‘ _Interesting’_ under his breath. Kylo Ren retracted the blade from his saber as he turned to look at Luke and Ash, shrugging smugly. “See?” He looked back at Rey. “Thank you for your cooperation.” It was only semi-sincere.

            “How did you know it would work?” Rey asked, stunned.

He grinned. “I didn’t.”

            “REN!” Rey and Ash yelled simultaneously.

He shrugged defensively. “What? It worked.”

            “Carelessness like that is not going to help you win when going against Snoke, Ben.” Luke reminded him dutifully.

            Ren rolled his eyes. “No, but pushing us to our limits will. If we get out of our comfort zones and truly wield the stones, we will win.” He looked at his wife. “That means you can’t hold back. That goes for both of you.”

            Rey turned to Luke then, her eyes always seemed to be pleading for some sort of guidance whenever she looked at him. “How do we stay balanced with one another?”

            “You must look inside yourselves.” He began. “Trust each other, trust in the Force. Be the hope that guides each other and pushes each other to your true potential. You must never hold the other back. The Force lives and flows through all of us; now you must let it live and flow through the three of you simultaneously. Effortlessly and fluidly.” Luke explained. “It is no longer the Light verses the Dark, or the Dark verses the Grey. It must be one side; the Light, the Dark and the Grey. All unanimous. A Force of one.”

            The trio exchanged glances, unsure of how to do exactly that. Kylo Ren was the first to make a suggestion as his lightsaber ignited again. “Well, let’s get to it then.”

            With bated breath, Ash and Rey unleashed their own sabers. The trio began to spar. Ash and Rey fighting each other, incorporating Kylo Ren into the mix. While they were fighting each other, there was a clear difference. They were still fighting as one. “Build on each other’s strengths.” Luke instructed as he watched them. “And make up for their weaknesses.”

            As if a unit of one, the trio moved gracefully and as one machine. They attacked, dodged, shielded, and fought as a combined force. Back and forth, moving and melding. The lightsabers danced; clashing like thunder until finally the trio stopped. Rey’s lightsaber pointed at Ash, Ash’s saber pointed at Kylo Ren, and his saber pointed at Rey. Each staring at the person their saber landed on, their chests rising and falling rapidly with their breaths.

            Luke, was staring in awe. He felt it, the perfect balance. Even within his nephew, he had felt it since his arrival that morning. The darkness was tamed; or rather, sleeping. Right here in front of him was his nephew, Ben Solo. He clapped, drawing the trio out of their intense gazes as they retracted their sabers, turning to look at Luke. “This is **_exactly_** what it means to find balance.”

            The sensation of balance was still lingering within the trio; they could feel everything, sense everything within one another. It was overwhelming but in the best of ways. Ash looked back at Rey, then to Kylo Ren before a rather large and goofy smile came to her face. Ren frowned somewhat nervously at her sudden excitement. “What?”

            “Oh, nothing.” Ash said in a singsong voice. “Just that we’re **_finally_** a team is all!” She exclaimed excitedly before dancing in place and singing a chorus of ‘ _Team Force Users’_ before Rey began laughing and joining in with her.

            Kylo Ren rolled his eyes at the two dancing girls before looking at Luke. “This was not worth it.”

            Luke grinned knowingly. “Let them have fun, Ben.”

“Yeah, **_Ben_**.” Rey taunted as she danced. “Lighten up.”

            Kylo Ren couldn’t not smirk at that. “I can’t _lighten up_. I’m the dark side, remember?” He sighed at the dancing girls. “Will you two stop it?”

            “We’re finally a team now, Ben. Come dance with us!” Ash egged him on.

“I don’t dance.” He explained dryly before trying to change the subject back to the important matters. “We need to discuss our attack with General Organa and Hux. We don’t have time to keep dancing.”

            Rey and Ash finally stopped, the mood shifting back to a more serious one as Ash reluctantly nodded. “Yeah, we do need to do that today too, don’t we?”

            “Hux said the First Order were preparing to move?” Rey asked the group, but more so Kylo Ren.

            He didn’t give away any emotion on his face. “We need to be prepared for when they do.” Was all he needed to say. It was true, they all knew it. However, that blissful ignorance that everything would be okay was something they wanted to hold onto for a little longer. Even Kylo Ren did.

 

* * *

 

            General Organa was beginning to enjoy General Hux’s company, or rather, she was appreciating his somewhat level head. She had known of his father after the fall of the Empire, he was a thorn in her side as she lead her Rebels against the remaining Empire order. While she saw a lot of the same confidence and drive within his son Armitage, there was something else there. There was sanity and reason. There was a man who wanted change by any means necessary. A man who found his devotion to change thanks to her own son. A notion she still had trouble accepting mainly because of how unexpected it was.

            The two generals were meeting along with Captain Phasma and Commander Dameron to discuss the current state of affairs. Hux had been in talks with of the still living Senators of the New Republic, as was Leia. They needed to find anyone still loyal to the cause for change, and surprisingly, there was still a legion of those who believed in a better tomorrow. Government officials who had wanted to overthrow the New Republic for its corruption for years. However, their job wasn’t easy as they needed to convince them of the standing of the ex-First-Order General, the Captain, and the ever feared Kylo Ren. It had been a long and lengthy battle, but one that Leia was certain they could win. She needed to lead by example, she had to show her faith in her son as well as in Hux. As a respected leader herself, she needed to put her reputation on the line for them. A notion she, at first, was weary of. However, seeing the change in the Ascension and those around her, it was a difference in opinion she was ready to work on.

            “It needs to be a working democracy. A system defined on checks and balances; certainly there can be a Leader, but there will need to be two parties defined on keeping the Leader in place while also working for the people. The galaxy needs to come together and it needs a strong system to lead it there.” Leia explained. “It won’t be easy, people will not be so easy in trusting a government run by ex-First-Order officials, or even my son. But, we will need to convince them of our beliefs and lead by example.”

            “The remaining officials will be able to see we mean well.” Hux confirmed. “We just need to show them our intentions are for good. I believe once we end this war, we should all come together and go over the logistics of setting up a completely parliamentary democratic government with the people of the galaxy in mind. Every planet should be accounted for and every person should be taken care of as they should be. It’s time we clean up the galaxy for the better.” Phasma was silent, yet, in her silence, she held a great sense of pride for the ginger sitting next to her. Their beliefs had gotten them this far, he would truly make a great leader someday.

            “While this is all great to hear.” Poe Dameron spoke up. “We have an urgent matter to attend to. The First Order is apparently getting ready to move. We need a plan of action.”

            Leia pursed her lips, sitting up straighter in her seat. “We can hold our defenses on land here. Unfortunately, we don’t have too much in the way of space battle.”

“Leave that to us.” Phasma chimed in. “We will send some troops down here to fight, but we will primarily take the fight above the planet.”     

            “Do we know what to expect?” Leia asked.

Hux inhaled deeply through his nostrils. “At this time, it could be anything so we must be prepared for all of it.” Hux explained. “If the Supremacy should arrive to Crait with the rest of the fleet, Phasma and I will lead a team onto the ship. From there, we can take down the big guns and destroy the Finalizer. The Supremacy holds Snoke as well as some of the higher ups we will need to take down. Once they’re defeated, it should be smooth sailing to stop the attack.”

            “And what about our Force friends?” Poe asked as the door slid open to the debriefing room, revealing the four Force Users. “Speak of the devil…”

The new arrivals sat around the table as Kylo Ren began. “We need to get on the Supremacy.” He said. “That’s when we will take down Snoke.”

            “We will join you on the Supremacy.” Hux explained. “Once you defeat Snoke, use the communication hub two levels down to contact us. When the call is made, we can take over fully.”

            The air stilled in the room as the weight of the situation came down on everyone. This was it, the final countdown. “Have everyone prepare for war.” Leia said, being the beacon of hope in the situation. “They could be on us any day now, we must be ready.”

            Ash stood from her seat, addressing the group as she looked directly at Poe. “We’ll start the maintenance shift; make sure everything is up and running.”

            Poe stood up too then, hesitating for a brief moment to look at Kylo Ren who merely rolled his eyes and nodded. “I won’t kill you for assisting my wife in what she does best.”

            “Such kindness.” Poe muttered as he looked at Ash. “Let’s get to it.” The two left the room immediately to begin working.

            “I’ll see if they need assistance.” Rey suddenly added, realizing more than ever she didn't want to be part of the war talk but wanted to help out in any way she could. She also wanted to see Finn; a need for comfort and companionship as everything began to crumble.

            Leia looked at the group around her, a group of leaders, a group of those wanting to change the galaxy and said the only thing she could think of. “May the Force be with us all.” Normally, Kylo Ren would have rolled his eyes at the gesture. However, he kept his distaste for the phrase inside. For once, he agreed. They needed it; they needed the hope that came with it.

* * *

  


            “I want all reactors tested; check your weapons and check all communication drives for any faulty disruptions.” Poe instructed his crew; the hangar of the Crait base was up in arms as people moved quickly to begin their preparations. “Report any and all repairs to myself or to Ashlyn.” Speaking of, he looked around for the red haired girl only to find her head first inside the cockpit of an x-wing. He smirked slightly at the sight before walking over to the ship. “What’s broken?”

            Ash was tinkering with the pulse cannon; her hands inside the main compartment as she tweaked a few wires here and there. “Targeting!” She called up from the cockpit. “Calibrating a minor inversion, the ship won’t be firing at full capacity otherwise.”

            Poe nodded. “Don’t overwork yourself and check in every so often, okay First Order?”

“You got it, hero.” Ash smiled into the components under the cockpit.

            “Poe!” The Commander turned around to see Finn and Rey joining him. Finn looked around at the controlled chaos in the base. “What can we do?” He asked.

Poe looked around for anyone who needed immediate help before nodding. “Ask around, see who needs help and with what. If it’s too technical, get maintenance or Ash, if she’s not head deep in an x-wing.”

            “I can still hear you!” Ash called out from the x-wing.

The group laughed slightly before getting back to the task at hand. “We have to make sure all guns are up and running. Rey, if you want, check the ski speeders and that the hatches all work.”

            “You got it.” Rey nodded, looking at Finn for a brief moment. The two exchanging silent glances before Rey ran off.

            Poe looked at Finn knowingly. “She’s got a bit of destiny, that one.”

Finn’s jaw fell slack. “I’m worried about her. About all of them. They have to go up against Snoke and we have to stand idly by and wait to see what happens.”

            Poe looked back at the x-wing, noting Ash’s legs as they wiggled frantically while she worked. He grinned slightly. “You and me both, buddy.” He returned his attention to Finn. “So, let’s do all we can for them and fool proof our side of things.”

            Finn reciprocated with his own grin, the two friends going off to find someone to help or something to fix.

 

* * *

 

            Phasma ran a tight ship and it showed as she instructed her battalion. Everyone was uniform, ready and determined to win this war. She ordered for a blaster inspection of all troops as well as a maintenance run over of all ships. Each ship was at the ready; knowing their position in all this. They were ready for the dog fight in space; they have to keep as much of the fight in the air as possible and that was their instruction.

            She stood in the main bridge area of the Ascension destroyer, overlooking the launch bay as controlled chaos ensued. Joining her was Armitage Hux, mimicking her stance as he looked out as well. “He seemed better today.” Phasma commented, knowing it was good news to Hux.

            “He did.” He replied cautiously.

“Perhaps our fears are not fully warranted.”

            His brow quirked upward. “But still partially warranted?”

Phasma smirked. “We should **_always_** be worried about Kylo Ren and the trouble he brings.”

             Hux chuckled. “You’re right.” His grin dropping slightly, more contemplatively then. “Did you ever think we would have made it this far?”

“Not in a million years.” She admitted. “But, I’m glad we did. We have the chance to change things; to rectify the things we had done in the past. A blank page to start over.”

            “I’d like to start over.” Hux added. “With you.” Phasma looked at him, unsure what he meant. “We wouldn’t have to hide any longer. I’d like for that, Gwen.”

 Phasma looked down then, unable to hide the small smile that was appearing on her lips as she did. “I think we could do that.”

            Hux smirked. “I thought as much.”

“I feel like everyone is in love but me.” The duo heard behind them before sharply turning to see a deviously grinning Brass. “Maybe I should find myself a girl.”

            Hux sighed in frustration. “I hate you, Brass.”

“I’m honored, you usually save all your hate for our fearless leader.” Brass teased with a chuckle.

            Phasma, as usual, broke up the potential fight. “Any word yet?”

“None yet, love.” Brass said. “You’ll know as soon as I do.”

            “Do we have any confirmation on the Supremacy?” Hux added.

“Nothing.” Brass unfortunately informed them. “If the Supremacy doesn’t show up, what is the plan then?”

            Hux pursed his lips. “Ren firmly believes Snoke wouldn’t miss out on this chance to watch the final stand against him destroyed. But, if for some reason it doesn’t show up, we will need him to go after it.”

            “Let’s hope it doesn’t come to that.” Phasma added.

“Agreed.” Hux said, turning his attention back to the troops in the launch bay. They had a very small window to get everything in place. If the Supremacy didn’t arrive, that left them open for a bigger struggle than he had anticipated. But, Hux was a General for a reason and he had a backup plan should any differ from his original play.

 

           

* * *

 

 

           

Ash groaned, her body sore from working on ships for the majority of the afternoon as she plopped down between Rey and Poe as they sat in front of one of the many fires set around the base to keep warm. Night was taking over the planet; a quiet calmness overriding the chaos from earlier on the base as everyone sat around waiting. Even though Ash had been in her element, repairing and tinkering, she was tired from it all and showed as much by resting her head on Rey’s shoulder. “It’s nice to sit.” She joked.

            “You did well today, First Order.” Poe said. “You deserve the rest.”

She beamed as she gave the pilot a thumbs up before sitting up again. “I’ll feel better once I see everything in action and still working.” She looked around at the group; Finn, Rey and Poe sitting with her along with two other pilots she barely knew. Then she noticed the very solemn vibe of the rest of the base as they sat around waiting for something to happen. “Kind-of grim tonight.”

            “Everyone is on edge; there’s nothing to do but wait for the First Order to come knocking.” Finn agreed. “They need a distraction.”

“I’d say get another competitive game of Sabacc going, but your buddy is busy on the destroyer.” Ash suggested knowingly.

            Poe laughed. “He needs a break from losing anyway.”

“Last I heard it was **_you_** who was losing.” Ash teased, causing the group around their fire to laugh.

            “Hey, I held my own!” Poe replied defensively.

“Sure you did.” Rey grinned.

            It was then Ash noticed the two pilots across from her were playing with a satellite radio; the sound of static and ringing began to echo in the quiet base. She frowned slightly, staring at them before asking. “What’s that for?”

            The younger of the pilots looked up at her, clearly unamused at the seemingly broken device. “Trying to get this piece of junk to lock onto any frequency out in space. Unfortunately, it’s pretty barren out here. Sometimes we get a few ships passing by and we can lock on to whatever they’re broadcasting. We got a broadcast of a pod race on Tatooine last week.” He sighed dejectedly as static continued to ring out as the other pilot turned the knobs. “Guess nothing is passing by.”

            He turned the knob again; through the static, a song began to play. While cracking and hissing from the distance of whatever it was reaching, there was a clear upbeat song trying to cut through. “Wait!” Ash exclaimed, having an epiphany. “Keep that on!”

            The music began to ring out through the base, providing some of the only noise in the large cave. Poe began nodding to the beat, smiling as he looked up at the ceiling. “We might be picking up a passing cruiser ship somewhere in the atmosphere.”

            Ash smiled, forcing herself to her tired feet as she began dancing to the strange sound. She looked at Rey, who was now unwillingly smiling. “What are you doing?” She asked as Ash leaned forward to grab her hands.

            “Dance with me.” She all but requested.

“Right now? You can’t be serious!” Rey asked.

            “Yes right now! What better time than now?” Ash reminded her as she pulled the girl to her feet. “Who knows when we’ll get to do something ridiculous like this again?” She asked as she twirled her friend. Rey laughed a little louder now, the two girls causing a commotion in the base as they did. A very tempting commotion that was gaining the attention of those nearby.

            They looked at Finn and Poe. “Come on, boys.” Rey said. “We aren’t going to be the only ones.” She didn’t give Finn a choice as she pulled him to his feet then, the two dancing to the upbeat tunes coming from the static radio.

            Poe, looking around nervously for a moment for Kylo Ren, finally stood himself and began dancing with the group. His reservations falling immediately as they began to have fun; who cared what Kylo Ren thought at that moment? Ash was right, this could be the last time they had a moment like this, and he’d enjoy it while he could.

            It didn’t take long for the group to convince more Resistance members in on the dancing and soon, it turned into a distraction, one that gave people a sense of happiness and a carefree moment to just enjoy themselves as they danced and laughed. High spirits ringing out through the camp for the first time in what felt like a very long time.

            Ash’s eyes scanned the crowd, satisfied that more and more people had begun dancing with them. However, her eyes focused on one person in particular who was standing next to General Organa, watching the small party with amusement and disgust mixed into one.

            “She’s dancing again.” Kylo Ren grumbled somewhat playfully as his arms folded across his chest.

            Leia smiled knowingly as she stood next to her son. “A moment of hope that they all deserve, even if it’s brief.” She looked at her son. “She wants you to dance with her, you know.”

            He frowned. “I don’t dance.”

“Don’t or won’t?” Leia asked. “Let me give you some motherly advice, Ben. Don’t ever let moments, even if they seem so insignificant, pass by without embracing them. You’ll never know when you will get a chance to enjoy them, or your time with her. This may be the last time you’ll get the opportunity.”

             He watched his wife continue to dance with her friends; the pure enjoyment in her eyes as she did. For the first time in a long time, he watched her exist without worry or any cares about the galaxy, the Force; none of it. Something he’d kill to give her for the rest of her days. After they’d fight Snoke, he’d try his hardest to make it a reality. Yet, what if his mother was right? What if this was the last chance he had? With a slight groan, he gave in and walked over to the group of idiots (in his words), and grabbed his wife.

            To everyone’s surprise, the great and feared Kylo Ren was dancing (or what he called dancing, which involved keeping his wife close and twirling her. Maybe at one moment or so moving with the awful music). Yet, unbeknownst to the man in black, while he danced with his wife and found his happy place once more… Ben Solo was pushing back against the darkness.

            Ren twirled his wife, pulling her close into his arms as the fast paced music changed to a slower one. The two beginning to sway back and forth as she put her head down on his chest. She saw Finn and Rey doing the same thing; a bright smile formed on her lips as she watched them for a moment. She was not taking this moment for granted. It meant the world to her, being around her friends; her husband. This was all she had ever wanted. And for a moment, she thought it could last forever.

            “I’d like the record to show that you can, in fact, dance.” Ash teased.

Kylo Ren scoffed. “I never said I couldn’t. I said I didn’t.”

            “Well, I’m glad you chose to dance.” She said as her head continued to rest on his chest.

“I seem to do a lot of things I wouldn’t normally do when it involves my wife.” He teased as Ash picked her head up to look at him.

            “She sounds awful.” She smiled knowingly.

He grinned right back. “Oh, it’s absolutely terrible. She brings out the worst in me and yet I’m incapable of saying ‘no’ to her.”

            Ashlyn chuckled. “You must really like her then.”

“I absolutely adore her.” He answered truthfully before leaning down to kiss her. The two stopped swaying as they did. At first, they were lost in each other as they wanted to enjoy their brief and honest moment between them. He had felt like normal again to her, he felt like her husband. Maybe it was the balance that the trio found that kept him this way, but she had hoped it would continue like that. This is where she belonged, in his arms for the rest of her days.

            Their slow dance continued again, Ash’s head finding his broad chest once more as they slowly swayed once more. “When this is over; the war, the fighting… all of it.” She began. “Where do we go from here?”

            “Well--” He said. “We change the galaxy for the better. We find order and we create a more balanced governing party with checks and balances.”

 “Like a democracy?” She asked, somewhat knowingly. He had his reservations against the whole democracy thing. He had made that very clear once back on StarKiller.

            He snorted. “More or less.”

“We could always call it something else if it makes you feel better.”

            Ren chuckled at that. “I think I can settle with it for now. You’re concerned about my plans for becoming the next Supreme Leader.” She was and he saw right through her. “I won’t be like him. I doubt you or my mother would allow such a thing anyway. Snoke was set on controlling those around him with fear. It could never work; we all know that. I will be different, I promise as much.”

            “I know.” Ash acknowledged, looking up at him. “And as long as you always strive to be a good person and do the right thing for the Galaxy, I’ll be by your side through it all...” She grinned. “Even when you’re being a total dick.”

            Kylo Ren rolled his eyes playfully. “Of course, Starshine.”

The two realized then that the music stopped and a quiet and deadly hush came over the crowd. Ash pulled away from Kylo Ren to see that everything had suddenly and drastically changed as a pilot ran forward. “We just got word from Lieutenant Brass. They’re coming.” He said. “The First Order are coming.”

            Suddenly, the weight of the situation felt real as Ash watched Rey and Finn hug tightly, not wanting to let go. Afraid if they did, it would be the last time. She looked up at Kylo Ren, while his expression held nothing to give him away, she could feel his concern. He pulled her close to him, one last time, kissing her desperately before pulling away. “We have to go.” He said softly.

            Ash nodded, looking to Rey. They two exchanging knowing looks before she left Finn one last time and joined the two other Force Users. This was it. The beginning of the end.

 


	64. The Beginning of the End

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry.

* * *

 

            First Order ships littered the sky as they exited warp drive; the Finalizer, a Dreadnaught, four large unit transporters and surprisingly, the Supremacy. Damar stood on the bridge of the Supremacy, staring down at the salt planet before him; the Ascension ships awaiting in orbit of the planet to greet them. He smirked at the sight. There was no way they could lose, not with the artillery they had. “Sir, we are ready to launch the AT-M6 fleet.”

            “Send the welcome committee down to the planet’s surface.” He ordered. “Get the battalion ready and send out our fighters.”

“Right away, sir.” The First Order personnel saluted, returning to his station.

             Damar’s lips twitched ever so slightly as he continued to look out at the scene before him. There was no way he could lose. He would have his revenge.

 

* * *

 

            Ash, Rey and Kylo Ren ran down the ramp of their transport until and onto the launch bay of the Ascension as militia ran around frantically to the ready. They met with Hux on the launch bay, Phasma could be heard yelling orders as she instructed her team to their posts.

            “The Supremacy is here.” Hux informed them as the group began walking to a different transporter. “We’ll help you three get on sight. We are sending a barrage of troops at them to cover us, and a team to help us inside. You’ll be on your own after we land.” He nodded to the new transporter. “Good luck to you all.”

            Surprisingly, Kylo Ren placed his hand on Hux’s shoulder, the two exchanging silent glances that said so much in that brief moment before Ren moved onto the transport followed by Rey. Ash stopped, looking at the ginger as he grinned at her.

            “You best get on the ship, Mrs. Solo.”

Ash bit her lip before quickly reaching up and hugging Hux tightly. “Be safe.”

            Stunned at first, it took him a moment before he hugged back. “Watch your back.”

Ash nodded, as she pulled away. “And to answer your question… yes. I’ll keep him from going under.” She finally answered. He merely gave her a silent nod, unable to find words as Ash ran up the transport ramp.

            Ash found herself in the cockpit where Kylo Ren sat at the pilot seat and Rey at the gunner seat. “Is the missus on board?” She heard Brass from the commlink.

            “Waiting for the word to launch.” Ren confirmed.

“Hux and Phasma are getting into their ships, standby for launch.” Brass said.

            Ash sat down behind Kylo Ren and Rey, looking out the cockpit window. “This is really happening, isn’t it?”

            Rey turned in her seat. “We can do this, Ash. Together.”

Ash gave her a warm smile. “I know we can.” Starships began to fly out of the launch bay terminal around them.

            “Alpha, you are clear to take off.” Brass said.

Ren clutched the wheel tightly. “It’s now or never.” He grumbled, the ship began rising. Ash could feel her heart slamming against her chest as a solemn and grim feeling took over the cockpit. “Hang on.” He said one last time before punching it forward, the ship flying quickly out of the launch bay and now faced at the sight of the fighting. Ash’s heart sank as she stared at the militia awaiting them.

            “This isn’t good…” Rey muttered as she took in the sight before them. “There’s so many of them, dodging their attacks won’t be easy.”

“Good thing I’m an excellent pilot then.” Ren smirked, steering directly into battle as he followed the ship carrying Hux and Phasma.  

            The space around them began to light up with red and green as the fight continued. Rey did her best to keep up and shoot any First Order ship that got close to them. Kylo Ren concentrated on keeping them from getting hit. Ash was on the ready if for some reason they did get hit and she had to fix something. Although, her mind was fogging from the sheer and utter chaos in front of her. Her focus shaky as she watched the war unfolding, her only thoughts being that everyone would come out of this unscathed.

            The ship screeched as it whirled into a barrel roll, barely being missed by two pulsar attacks. Everyone held on for dear life as it did. They were getting closer to the Supremacy, a ship that could not be matched in its sheer size. It was intimidating.

            “We are making a path for the ship, keep up, Ren.” Hux’s voice echoed throughout the cabin. Their ship was still within view, dodging and spiraling to get away from any attacks. Ash wondered how many troops would be joining them on their mission onto the Supremacy. Surely, it still wouldn’t be enough.

            A loud beeping echoed through the cabin as Ash saw the warnings on the hud. “TIE Fighters are locking on.” She knew that noise, she had heard it before on their escape from Maridun. If this ship blew up, all would be lost.

            Ren frowned. “Hold on to something!” He yelled as a pulsar rocket clipped the back engine. The entrance to the Supremacy within reach as it sped forward. They were going to crash, it was evident then. However, Kylo Ren was not going to let it crash without taking a few things out with him.

            Screeching forward, the ship entered the launch bay of the Supremacy, hitting the ground with force as it knocked over Troopers and dismembering any ships still in the dock. The trio holding on for dear life as the ship skidded forward and towards the other landing Ascension ships.

            As the ship came to a screeching halt, the trio looked at each other before nervously laughing that they had survived what could have been the end. “See? I’m an excellent pilot.” Kylo Ren restated.

            “We’re not out of the woods yet.” Rey nodded to the Troopers that were now running into the Launch Bay.

            “Son of a--” The troopers began to shoot before Ash could finish her sentence. The trio ran from the cockpit and towards the exit ramp as a fight ensued in the launch bay. At least, they had the backup from the Ascension there.

            The Force Users made a break for the hidden area where Phasma and Hux were, their blasters ready as their group tried to take over the Launch Bay. “The elevator to the Throne Room is at the end of Block A.” Hux informed them as he remained focus on blasting the Troopers that entered the bay. “Remember to contact us when you win.”

            Ren nodded, in his mind, he knew that this could very well be the last time he saw Hux and Phasma. He wasn’t much for sentiment, but they understood his silence as he nodded. Phasma turned to look at them, her chrome helmet locking on Ash. “Keep them safe, will you?”

            Ash forced a small smile. “I will.” She was happy she got one last chance to see Phasma and with a brief hug, her smile grew somewhat wicked. “If you see Damar--”

            “I’ll take an extra shot for you.” Phasma grinned under her helmet.

“Ash, we have to move.” Rey informed her as they were ready to make a break for the elevator.

            She nodded, looking back at Hux and Phasma one last time before turning to the Force Users. She took a deep breath and unleashed her lightsaber. It was now or never.

* * *

  
  


            If the sight of the seven AT-M6’s was horrifying enough, the giant laser cannon that came into view really set everyone off. Poe Dameron wasted no time in getting his x-wing pilots out into the air to deflect any incoming TIE Fighters. However, they had to take out the cannon and protect the base too. He assembled a separate team, which included Finn, and directed them to where the ski speeders resided. Everyone entered an empty speeder as the sound of lasers echoed outside. Resistance members scattered into the red trenches on Crait, trying to stop the TIE Fighters that made it through the Ascension, as well as launch rockets at the AT-M6’s.

            “On my command!” Poe shouted into his headset as he flew above the battlefield in his x-wing. “3… 2… 1… Launch!” With that, the ski speeders launched out of the vents, all of them landing with a thud on the salt terrain and leaving a trail of red behind them. They had to destroy the cannon, which was their number one mission.

              Finn’s speeder was barely making it off the ground, he had no idea how to drive one of these things; Poe had told him it was a piece of cake. Yeah, so much for that. He held on tightly, trying to steady it and figure out what the heck he was doing wrong.

               “Buddy, you gotta deploy the stabilizing strut!” Poe instructed from above.

Finn looked around the cockpit frantically, finally finding the little red button for the strut. His fist connected with it, causing the stabilizing strut to pop out, and was now cruising much smoother than before.

            The speeders shot at the canon, making their first run at the large weapon while it charged. They were barely doing any damage to the damn thing. But, nonetheless, they needed to keep trying.

            Chewbacca covered them from above in the Millennium Falcon, shooting TIE Fighters with a random gunner he didn’t really want to trust. However, he didn’t have a choice. And after some quick convincing from General Organa, finally he allowed the gunner on the ship. They were blasting TIE Fighters out of the sky and drawing them away as best they could.

 

     

* * *

      

 

            Like a well-oiled machine, the Force trio fought their way to the elevator down Block A. The balance was clear within them as they protected one another and fought valiantly before entering the elevator car. Ash caught her breath as the elevator doors closed. This was it, they were on their way to defeat Snoke.

            The trio stood in the glass elevator as it ascended towards the very top of the Supremacy. The top floor where Supreme Leader Snoke awaited them. It was the final showdown; someone was not going to make it out alive. They hoped that someone would be Snoke. Although, Ren also hoped it would be Rey too, but that idea was kept hidden considering Ash would probably hit him otherwise.

            Rey stood closest to the door while Kylo Ren stood diagonally behind her on the right, and Ash mirroring him as she stood to her left. The Force Users remained silent; trying to keep their composure. They had the stones; each Force User able to utilize their special talent and become one with their designated stone. All that was left was kill Snoke. Easier said than done.

             Ash looked down at her feet; nervously rocking from the front of her foot to her heels and back again. Every so often she’d glance over at Kylo Ren, noticing his face expressionless, as it typically was. Then there was Rey; well, the back of Rey’s head. Ash could sense her concerns and her fears as they ascended higher and higher. There was no turning back now; they had to finish this. No matter what.

              Well, **_what_** then happened. Ash’s lip quirked slightly as she frowned. She was feeling something weird; like her entire body was suddenly cut off from everything. Her head full, like her ears needed to pop. Any sound was muffled and her vision faded for the briefest of moments. In those immediate seconds, seconds that felt like an eternity, that “pop” happened.

            Ash could suddenly feel everything; her body tingled from her toes all the way to the top of her head. Everything in the immediate existed space flooded to her. She could feel the vibrations in the elevator, the way Rey’s heart was thudding in her chest, Kylo Ren’s sudden and immediate drop in aggression that turned into confusion before quickly masking to concern and terror. She could feel the energy of the ship; the darkness looming above them as the elevator rose higher. It was as though all her senses were on high alert.

            In the false eternity; Ash’s eyes darted from one side of the elevator, seeing Kylo Ren in her peripherals, to the other side where the glass was. Her pulse in her veins; the thudding now in her chest.

            It became clear in every fiber of her being what was going on. She wasn’t the only one to realize it as Kylo Ren immediately moved over to her; his hands cupping her face. He looked **_horrified_** , absolutely horrified as he stared at her. In a state of panic, he kissed her in an attempt to calm her down, but also himself. What was resonating through him was this fear that there was nothing he could do now, nothing either one of them could do. He needed her, the mission would otherwise fail without her. She had to fight, there was no turning around now. Ash was just too important to remove from the equation, she couldn’t sit out of harm’s way.

            Kylo Ren pulled back, looking down at Ash as his hands still cupped her face. Ash looked back into his golden eyes, staring intently as she barely whispered. “What do we do?” They didn’t have a choice. They had to fight and they both knew that.

            It was then Rey turned to face them; her face a whirlwind of emotion as she tried to figure out what was happening to the other two Force Users. She felt their mix of fear, love, happiness, fear; it was exploding around her like a thermal detonator. Then, something, whether it was the Force or just pure instinct, she understood. Her eyes locking on the scared red head as she uttered “Ash?” under her breath.

             She was afraid for her; hell, she was even afraid for Kylo Ren. Not at what they had created, but how the odds being against them made everything that much harder. They might not live through this. And now, they had something else to add to that weight. “How did this… how could this…” Ash stuttered as her hands found her mid-section. “Why now?”

              The trio hadn’t noticed the elevator stopped until the doors flew open. A sick and strange darkness filling the space they were in as Rey slowly turned around to see the Throne Room and Supreme Leader Snoke sitting in his throne.

              Kylo Ren kept his eyes on his wife for a few more moments before ultimately turning. This was it. The final showdown.

His deep laugh was more like a snarl than anything as it echoed through the large room. The trio walking forward and standing a good few feet away from the throne itself. Behind him were eight praetorian guards in red armor, ready to defend.

                “Your time has come, Supreme Leader.” Rey bravely spat at him.

Snoke looked at the three Force Users before him. “You’ve come to kill me. You think you can so easily defeat me; defeat the darkness. You are mistaken.”

            “We can and we will.” Rey said, clutching her lightsaber tightly.

His hand outstretched; Rey immediately grabbed at her head, feeling pain surge through it as she gripped her hair. “REY!” Ash yelled, running to her side. Kylo Ren remained unmoved as he stared down the creature before him.

            “Ah, the Grey user.” His words sent something through Kylo Ren; how **_dare_** he talk to his redhead. “The guardian of the Force; the shield to protect the ones you love.” He mocked her. “You can’t save them, you can’t save any of them.” Ash wrapped her arm around Rey as she regained her senses again, Snoke was out of her head for now. Snoke then let out a surprised laugh; suddenly catching on to the change that had been forming within Ashlyn. The change in the galaxy and within the Force that he had been sensing for a while now. A child. “The raw and untamable power growing inside you; so very faint, but I can already feel it. A bloodline like that--” He taunted as Kylo Ren and Ash exchanged glances. “Would make the perfect apprentice.”

            That was all he needed to set him off; Kylo Ren charged the throne, his lightsaber igniting as he went for the kill. However, he was immediately sent backwards as lightning spewed from Snoke’s fingertips. He landed on the ground with a thud; an airy groan escaping his lips as he forced himself up. While, he had suffered from similar abuse by Snoke, this one felt worse. Not from the physical pain, but the anger that was swelling up inside him due to the creature threatening his child with the same cruel training he had gone through. He’d be damned if Snoke went anywhere near his child, let alone Ash. It was instinct to protect what was his now.

            Rey was standing again, the voice and pain no longer in her head. Ash’s glare was burning into Snoke’s eyes now, her eyes held no fear; only hatred. Hatred that he even mentioned their child, hatred that he had threatened him. “I will spare them, Ashlyn.” Snoke offered, his voice sickly sweet. “I will let them live; I will let you live. You’ve seen the death and destruction that comes from this. There is no outcome where you will win, if I die. But, there is a way we can change this, change our destinies.” He bargained. “Give me the child. Promise the child to me and you can all live.”

            The amber glow of her lightsaber suddenly came to existence. “You can go to hell.” She snarled at the deformed creature.

            Snoke glared menacingly. “So be it.” He stood then, towering over the trio with his well over seven foot stature. His arm outstretched again as lightning shot from his fingertips, however, this time, it didn’t make contact. Instead, a large, grey bubble prevented it from going further. The lightning stopped as Snoke continued to glare. “Ah, she has learned to shield. It will do you no good here.”

            Kylo Ren, Ash and Rey stood their ground, their lightsabers ignited and ready. They knew what they had to do. The moment the shield came down, Rey closed her eyes, sensing the darkness. “Ash!” She yelled; Ash knew what to do as the shield went up again, she was barely missed by the lightning as Kylo Ren sprang forward and slashing at Snoke.

            Snoke stepped back, missing the blow as he threw Kylo Ren back with force. As he did, Rey ran forward with Ash, the two slicing up at him. He stopped the girls’ midair and threw them back as well, but not before Kylo Ren ran in and sliced at the creatures arm. With a hiss, Snoke snarled and threw Kylo Ren back again as Rey ran forward. He stopped her midair, the girl beginning to shake from the pressure as he reached into her mind again. She let out a shrill shriek from the pain. After a few seconds in suspension, she dropped suddenly.

            Rey sat up to see Ash had slashed once more at Snoke, causing him to stumble backwards and lose the connection. His hand reached out to throw her back, however, he stopped mid action. Looking up, he saw Kylo Ren and Rey’s outstretched arms, holding him there, preventing him from dealing a devastating blow to Ash. Their bodies beginning to shake from the pressure. “ASH!” Rey shouted. “ASH NOW!”

            Wasting no time, Ash grabbed her lightsaber with both hands and glared. “See you in hell, monster.” She gritted her teeth and stabbed through Snoke’s chest. The creature gasping from the blow as Kylo Ren and Rey let him go. He fell to the ground with a loud thud that resonated through the room.

            The fight was far from over, however, as the Praetorian Guards began marching forward. Ash, Rey and Kylo Ren stood in a triangle formation, staring at the eight guards as they enclosed around them. As if in slow motion, the guards began to swing towards them; the fight beginning.

            Ducking, slashing and guarding; weapon clashed with weapon as each user fought against the guards. Sparks flying from their weapons as they fought. Ash backed away from two on the guards as they tried to corner her, she kicked upward, knocking one back as she slashed at the other. Their weapons entangling as he tried to unbalance her. With her free hand, she pushed him back, sending him flying just as the other guard regained his footing and charged for her. She ducked, missing his attack and stabbed through him at the first opening she got. One guard down as she looked over to Rey.

            Rey had stumbled backward, tripping over the steps leading up to the throne, a Praetorian guard about to stab her. “Rey!” Ash yelled, throwing her hand up as a grey bubble encircled the girl. The guard hitting the shield and being thrown backwards from the impact.

            Rey quickly stood, looking over to Ash to thank her, only to see the other guard she had been fighting about to bring his weapon down behind her. “Ash!”

The impact never came as Kylo Ren’s lightsaber stopped him, forcing the guard back as he ran his blade through the man’s neck, killing him instantly.

            Ren and Ash looked at each other for a brief moment, his eyes scanning her to make sure she was okay before two more guards attacked them. The two engaging in the fight once more as they stood back to back. Kylo Ren countering each attack with ease as he channeled the darkness within him and using it expertly back within the fight. Ash shielded the two of them when necessary, careful to not get in the way of their own attacks to the guards. Her focus on keeping Rey, Kylo Ren and now the unexpected child being her motivator through it all.

            Rey disarmed another guard, his weapon flying backwards and into the wall as she slashed and stabbed at him, killing him when the blade ran through his armor. Another guard snuck beside her, cutting her arm. She yelled in pain, distracting Ash as she saw Rey’s new injury. She ran over, sliding on her knees and impaling the guard through the stomach as Rey stabbed through his helmet, the guard falling over dead.

            Three more guards; two standing before the girls. They exchanged quick glances before Rey yelled loudly, the two girls aiming their lightsabers and charging for the guards. Ducking and slicing; slashing and moving as one. Sensing each other’s movements, Ash ducked around Rey’s side, stabbing her saber into the guard Rey was fighting as Rey swung around, her saber slashing into the guard Ash was fighting. The two guards falling.

            Suddenly, they realized the other Force User was in danger as one guard held his weapon tightly around Ren’s neck. “BEN!” Rey and Ash shouted simultaneously, grabbing his attention as Rey threw her lightsaber to the Force User. Using the Force, he snatched the lightsaber from midair and ignited the blade. The lightsaber stabbing through the guard’s helmet and killing him. His body falling with a loud thud.

            The room stilled; quieting down as Ash and Rey looked at each other. Their eyes wide as they were stunned; unbelieving what had taken place here. Kylo Ren tossed his grandfather’s lightsaber back over to Rey; she grabbed it and replaced it on her belt as the heaviness of the result began to take over the room. Ash took in the carnage around her, they had done this. They had done this together. “Get to the communication hub, tell Hux.” Ash finally instructed Rey. Nodding, Rey quickly turned and ran for the elevator to do just that.

            The Praetorian Guards were dead, Snoke was dead. Suddenly, the realization kicked in as Ash ran her hands through her red locks, laughing incredulously as she looked around at the carnage around her.

            “Holy crap…” She said through airy chuckles, her hands now finding her stomach as the high from the battle subsided. Their victory, her pregnancy. All of it. It was exhilarating. “We did it. We actually did it.” She turned back to the throne where Kylo Ren was to share in their victory and apparent good news. However, she stopped. Her breath hitching in her throat as she stared at him. He was standing in front of the throne, unmoving. His eyes locked on the onyx chair. “B-Ben?” She stuttered.

            “It’s time we clean up the galaxy.” His tone was different; darker. “A new Supreme Leader to take charge, a new dawn.” He turned, walking over to Ashlyn. “Think about it. We will bring order to this galaxy. We will rebuild what has been broken. No one will stand in our way. Together, we will bring balance. With this army no one can stop us.”

            She could sense it, the rise in darkness that was pooling within him, begging to come out. “We need to go back to Crait, we can sort it out there and figure out what to do--”

              “No.” He said sharply, his voice raising as he stopped in front of her. “You’re still holding on!” He shouted. “Stop this foolishness of a democracy; peace that can’t ever happen! We need one leader to rule and decide the fate of the galaxy. A leader who won’t let all this turmoil take place. A New Order.” Ash flinched as the anger radiated from him. Kylo Ren inhaled, his hand running through his hair as he moved closer again; a gentler expression on his face. “You’ve seen a future where we live on Maridun, with our child. I’ve also seen a future with just as much importance. You, me, our son--” He explained. “Leading the new government; a new Order to clean up the scum of this galaxy.”

            “That’s not how this is supposed to go, Ben.” Ash’s voice cracked slightly. “You know that’s not how it goes.” 

            “Ashlyn.” He said with a false patience, his hand reaching out to touch her face; his thumb gently stroking her cheek. “Starshine; we have to do this. This is the only way. Democracy will only fail us again, it’s done it before and it will happen again--”

            “No--” She pulled back from his touch.

“Ashlyn!” He snapped, inhaling as his tone changed. “Starshine, listen to me.” He moved closer; something in his demeanor told Ash he wasn’t stable. “We can end all of this; you and me.” He offered. “I will keep you safe.” Kylo Ren’s eyes trailed down to her midsection. “Both of you.” When his eyes returned to her face, his hand lifted as well, offering her the choice. “Just trust me.” His hand lingering there, waiting for her to take it. His confidence faltering only as she hesitated.

            There it was again; the words he had used on her so many times now. _Trust_ _him_. It was always that, trust that he would do the right thing, trust that he had a plan. _Trust him_. It was like history repeating itself, a history she didn’t want to see through. Not this time. Not as the nausea from the devastating feeling that was overcoming her. Not while he was threatening to change everything and not for the better. Even as that troubling instinct to simply trust him blindly came scratching at the back of her mind. No, she had done this song and dance one too many times before and each time held that gamble of paying off or blowing up in her face. This time felt more like the latter. Sure, he could keep her and their child safe. That was never a question. But not like this. How long before he turned into exactly what Snoke was, if he hadn’t already.

            Then, for a brief moment, she saw it. The black flash across his eyes; the darkness that was coming through. The stone was taking over again and with a darkness to an extreme she had never seen before. It was then everything made sense. Everything she had been telling herself, every little detail the Force was trying to give her. It finally and indubitably clicked. Ashlyn Solo was never meant to bring him fully to the Light. She was meant to bring him back when the Darkness within the stone tried to take over. She had to save him from himself. “Ben…”

            His eyes narrowed, the realization that she wasn’t going to come willingly becoming all too clear now. The darkness, mixing within Kylo Ren’s desires, was not going to let that happen. “You’re going to join me, one way or another. This is where you belong, Ash. With me. It’s always been with me.”

            Ash bit her lip, she was in danger, and so was Rey and the outcome of this war. She had to do something. “Not like this.”

He reached for her with a more violent grab this time; Ash wouldn’t let him as her arm outstretched, forcing backwards with an invisible push. His body landed with a thud on his back.

            The elevator door opened again as Rey ran back through the throne room, stopping immediately as she saw the curious display before her. “What’s going on?” Rey asked, staring in disbelief.

            All the nightmares, every single one, were now coming true. An outcome that Ash had to stop, she needed to protect Rey. She needed to save Kylo Ren. She had to stop the nightmares from coming true. In that moment, she said the only thing she could think of. “Run…”

“What?” Rey asked, somewhat horrified.

          **“RUN!”**

 


	65. He's A Hard Soul To Save

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh. My. STARS. The amount of HATE I got for that last chapter! Hahahaha. Okay, not exactly hate, but the deep concern and extreme dislike for me was clear in some of the reviews and private messages I got. And I appreciate the crap out of them! It makes me happy knowing you guys care about these characters that much and I can only say one thing that might make y’all feel better? Maybe? It’s not over yet. Just remember. It’s not over. We still have like 4-5 chapters left. So… there’s no need to panic… yet. Even though the chapter title is a little scary… I promise. No need to panic.
> 
> That being said, fun facts about the last chapter and this one. These were the first two chapters I had ever written for this story. While the ending has changed drastically, I wrote basically all this before anything else. 
> 
> Also, to add to that… it’s my favorite Ash thing ever. The entire end of this chapter are just my favorite Ash moments.
> 
> And finally. This story is slowly coming to its close soon. And I can’t even handle it. Holy cow, you guys. It’s because of YOU that we have 530 reviews on this story. It’s because of YOU that there are 442 kudos and 37 bookmarks. IT’S BECAUSE OF YOU WE HAVE OVER 6441 VIEWS ON THIS GOSH DARN STORY. And I cannot thank y’all enough. I really can’t. Your love and support from the beginning until now… it’s surreal. You gave this story a chance and you helped shape it into something wonderful. We’re almost done, let’s give it a good send off.

* * *

 

              “Run!” This time, they moved. The girls quickly turned and ran straight for the elevator as Kylo Ren got up on his feet again. “Go! Go! Go!” Ash yelled as they entered the elevator, Rey’s fist slamming into the button. They stared in horror as Kylo Ren began to stumble forward towards to them. The doors started to close, only to stop midway as Ren raised his hand to stop them. He tried with all his might to keep the elevator from moving.

            Rey and Ash held onto whatever they could as the elevator shook; the metal whining and groaning from the unnatural movement. They held on for their lives as Kylo Ren took long strides forward, gaining ground as he did. Rey, thinking quickly, saw their window of opportunity. A Praetorian Guard’s weapon. She outstretched her arm, focusing on the weapon. The staff shook for a moment before flying upward and towards Kylo Ren, whacking him in the head. His focus faltering just enough to send the elevator careening down the shaft with no stopping in sight.

            Ash and Rey yelped at the sudden drop. The elevator was out of control as it descended down the Supremacy. “Ash!” Rey yelled in a panic.

            She had to think quickly; she had it. She knew what she had to do. The question was, would it work? Her hands outstretched towards the center of the elevator car, the two locking eyes as she focused as much as possible on the elevator as the grey orb surrounded the car, forcing the elevator to stop a harsh jolt. The girls stumbled as they tried to find their footing.

            Ash examined her surroundings, or rather, as much as she could see through the opaque, grey bubble. “We need to keep moving…” Ash said, looking to their only exit. They were between two floors and knew their only option was to climb out.

            As the grey bubble disappeared, Rey jumped down first, helping Ash after her, the moment Ash exited the elevator, the car screeched an awful sound as it continued to drop. The two stared at each other in disbelief that they had made it out of that. “What do we do?” Rey asked.

            “We have to get off the ship.” Ash instructed. “A broken elevator won’t stop him from getting down here. He knows his way around and can find me without much effort.”

            They began down the hallway in an attempt to find escape pods. “He’s out of control.”

“I’m well aware of that. It’s the stone; it’s trying to take over all his senses.” Ash muttered, her mind immediately wandering to the other issue in her life besides Kylo Ren; the child. She had to stop Kylo Ren and in doing so she knew what she was risking. He was out of control, yes, but something was making him like this. It had to be the stone; this wasn’t him.

           It was risky and she knew if she took the stone away from Kylo Ren that could lead to bigger problems. Rey, would also not allow her to try on her own. But, she had to. Rey was doomed if she fought Kylo Ren now. Ash had to keep them both alive; she swore to herself she would and was not leaving this ship otherwise.

          A loud and aggressive yell echoed throughout the hallway, he was getting close. Ash looked at Rey, the two staring at each other horrified. “We need to get to the escape pods **_now_**.” Ash said quickly. She wasn’t going to lose either one of them, not today.

            At the end of the hallway, Kylo Ren slid into view, his eyes completely black as the girls stared at him. “Move!” Rey shouted, the two running. His heavy boots hitting the floor echoing behind them as they ran.

            They had no idea where they were going as Kylo Ren closed the gap between them, slashing down at Rey. Rey stopping him with her lightsaber as Ash pushed him back again.

              He stabilized himself, taking another swipe at Rey as Ash countered the attack. Rey was about to swipe him with a devastating blow, only to have Ash throw up a large shield between them. Rey looked at Ash in disbelief. He was out of control; how could she still be protecting him? “Just keep moving!” Ash exclaimed. The girls running again as they heard Kylo Ren whacking at the shield from behind, trying to break through.

              They didn’t know where to go and knew they didn’t have the time to figure that out. However, that was when Ash saw him. Anakin was standing in the middle of the hallway, pointing to the upcoming hall to their right. “This way!” He yelled.

            Ash grabbed Rey’s arm, pulling her down that hallway. “Where are we going?!” She asked.

            “Trust me!” Ash exclaimed as they ran, Kylo Ren was coming.

Anakin met them at the end of that hallway, pointing down the next left turn. “Keep moving!” He exclaimed, his face full of worry. He knew he was breaking all the rules, but that didn't matter. The girls needed him and he was not about to let them down. He met them at every turn, telling them where to go until they finally had lost Kylo Ren and made their way to the escape pods.

            Ash closed the doors behind them, keeping their whereabouts hidden as best as possible as Rey walked over to the pod, getting it ready with the coordinates for Crait. “If we can get ahold of Hux, we can tell them what’s happened to Ren and when they take down the ship they can try and stop him.” She explained as she stopped, noticing Ash hadn’t moved. “Ash?” She said. Ash looked at Rey, her eyes pooling with tears as Rey stared back, confused at first. “What is it?”

            Ash shook her head. “You know I can’t come with you.”

Rey’s jaw nearly dropped as she stammered. “No--” She tried again. “Ash, no, you can’t. He’ll kill you.”

            “I have to stop him. I’m the only one who can.”

“Ash…” Now Rey was tearing up. “No.” She begged her; pleaded with her. “We can escape, we can go while there’s still a chance.” She pointed to the open escape pod that beckoned for them to leave in. “Ash, don’t do this.”

            She forced a smile; albeit a very small smile. With one strong push, Rey was sent backwards and into the escape pod. Taking zero time to pause, knowing if she did she could lose this battle, and ran to the release hatch. The door slamming shut. Rey’s fists were connecting with the window of the pod, Ash could hear her muffled screaming from the inside as she backed away and looked at her friend for perhaps the last time.

            The airtight release doors shut; the escape pod shot out of the Supremacy and was speeding down to Crait, leaving behind the last remaining Force Users to their own demise.

 

* * *

  


            Hux and Phasma were standing outside the bridge door, their brigade breaking into the room where Damar was held up. They had the place surrounded, the First Order was at their end. A giddy energy came from Hux, knowing full well that he was going to finally get his chance to end Damar, the time had finally come.

            As the doors were forced open, the remaining Troopers inside were taken care of immediately as Hux stomped through the doors with Phasma next to him. There was nowhere for Damar to hide. He tried to get away, but Phasma was faster as her fist connected with his gut, forcing him to collapse to his knees. She kicked upward, her boot hitting his jaw as he fell onto his back, groaning in pain. “He’s all yours, love.” Phasma said.

              “I have waited so long for this moment.” Hux’s tone was dark as his fist clenched.

Damar chuckled as he sat up, spitting blood onto the floor. “You won’t win this.”

            “We already have.” Hux smirked. “Our Force Users have killed Snoke. Kylo Ren will take the throne and as for you?” His smirk grew to a more wicked smirk. “Well, you won’t even be remembered in any of the stories or wild tales about this war. When people speak of this war, your own name won’t be mentioned once I’m through with you.” Damar’s expression dropped, the cold chill of realization hitting him as Hux kicked him with sheer force. He wasn’t much for the brutalization of others, but, he was into making Damar beg for mercy. He knew he wouldn’t, but at least there was satisfaction in his screaming as he tortured the man.

           

 

* * *

 

            The arrival of the escape pod on Crait was not exactly expected, especially when Rey crawled out of it alone and ran for the base entrance, yelling for help. Poe felt his heart drop into his stomach, if only Rey came back, what did that mean about Ash? He and Finn wasted no time to meet Rey on the field where the halted AT-M6’s stood, Finn wrapping his arms around her tightly. “What happened?”

            “We need to get a message up to Hux. Something’s wrong with Kylo Ren and Ash is in danger.”

            Poe’s eyes went wide. “They don’t know Ren and Ash are there?”

Rey shook her head. “No, and Kylo Ren has completely lost it.”

            “Shit!” Poe hissed, the trio running into the base to the communication hub. “They have plans to blow up the Supremacy and if they don’t know Ash is on board, they could blow her up too.”

            “What happened up there?” Finn asked as Poe quickly began trying to reach Hux.

“The stone--” Rey exhaled sharply. “I think the stone took over him. He wasn’t himself and Ash is trying to save him.”

            Groaning in aggravation at the lack of results, Poe tried Brass, whom answered. “What’s up, Commander?”

            “Brass! You need to get ahold of Hux!”

“Whoa, whoa, whoa, slow down. What’s going on?” Brass asked. “Didn’t we win?”

            Rey interjected the conversation. “Kylo Ren has lost control and Ash is trying to stop him. Hux doesn’t know they’re still on the Supremacy or what’s happening.”

            “Well, fuck me.” Brass snapped. “Alright, let me see what I can do. Stand by!” The communication cut out.

            Finn looked at the group, grimly. “What do we do?”

“I’m going to fly up there and get her.” Poe quickly said.

            “You will do no such thing.” Luke Skywalker said as he entered the room. “If you do, you could make matters worse.”

            “We can’t just leave her to die up there!” Poe shouted.

“If you interfere, you could very well be the nail in her coffin.” Luke explained. “We need to trust the Force now, we need to trust that Ash can bring him back.”

            Poe glared. “With all due respect, Master Skywalker, but fuck the Force. That’s my friend up there and I’m not going to leave her to die.”

            Rey exhaled sharply. “No, Poe. We can’t.” She hated this, she hated the prophecy, she hated their destiny. But, she knew it was the only way. “We have to trust Master Luke.” Poe was about to object, but Rey stopped him. “Please… just trust that this is the way things need to go.” He was not happy about it, not one bit, but now he needed to trust that Brass could get in touch with Hux before it was too late.

* * *

  


            Ash sat against the wall in the escape pod room, trying to level her breathing and regain some clarity as she did. She needed to think, she needed to get her play underway, but at the same time she wasn’t sure how to do so. Was he waiting for her in the hallway? Would he kill her if he saw her? So many unanswered questions and yet they all pointed to one thing, one of them was probably not getting of this ship alive. At least, it felt as much. “Well, I guess this isn’t the outcome you wanted to see?” She joked dryly, looking at Anakin. He had silently been standing in the room with her, patiently waiting for her to continue on this journey. It was almost over.

            “I never said that.” He replied softly. “The child was part of it.”

“Yeah, not cool. A little warning next time.” Ash replied sarcastically as she shook her head. “He’s lost, he’s been consumed by the darkness and I don’t know what I need to do to save him from it.”

            Anakin smiled slightly. “Ash, you haven’t been listening to a damn word I’ve said, have you?” Ash frowned. “All this time, you believed you had to bring Ben back to the light and that stopping him meant killing him. You can still save him from himself.”

            Ash sighed. “But how?”

“He’s being corrupted by a dark force that we cannot possibly understand. A piece that is unnatural to him that is using its strength to corrupt.” Anakin explained. “But if we take that away.”

            Suddenly, it clicked. “If we destroy the stone, we can save him.” Ash’s jaw fell slack as her head began to fill with memories, and voices from those of the past and present. Everything building up within her; the good, the bad. The memories with him, their past, their future. All of it raging and building within her. She protected Rey, but now it was time to protect him. She had to save Kylo Ren from himself, she had to stop what the stone was doing to him. “I know what I must do.” She said, forcing herself to her feet and looking at Anakin. “Thank you.”

            He was still smiling. “Go kick some ass, Grey User.”

Ash smirked, looking at the door. She needed to get back to the throne room for one last showdown, one last chance to save Kylo Ren… or die trying.

 

* * *

 

            The eerie quiet of the ship was nauseating as Ash stood in the Throne Room once more. The carnage left in their wake of Snoke’s body and the Praetorian Guards. She had seen this seen a thousand times, yet each one altering just enough to end a different way. An ending that always left with two dead and one Force User living with the consequence. Ash couldn’t let that happen. If Ash failed, there was no way she or Ren would come out of this alive.

            Slowly, she walked over to the throne and stared at the reflective paneling. Her eyes skimming over the smooth, black seat. The seat that demanded power; a power she knew she didn’t have, but a part of her craved. He had that power, but now she needed to stop him from taking it and using it for the wrong reasons. He wasn’t thinking clearly, she knew that. She had to stop him before it was too late.

             Ashlyn knew exactly what she was bringing Ben Solo back from. Himself. He would always be confined in the Dark Side, but never meant for the darkest depths of the galaxy. She had to bring him back from that. All this time, she foolishly misunderstood. Now, she was ready to do what she had to do. Even if it meant that this was the end.

            “It’s tempting, isn’t it?” Ash turned; Kylo Ren stood by the broken elevator. He was smirking, his eyes still like coal as he began to walk forward. “There’s no point in trying to run anymore, Starshine.”

            Ash looked back at the throne. “I know.” She agreed. “I’m done running.”

“Have you decided to join me then?”

            Ash licked her lips as she tucked her red locks behind her ears. “Not exactly.” His steps resonated loudly in her ears. He was impossibly close now, she could feel it without turning around to look at him. And soon, he was standing next to her.

            “I can protect you; our child.” He offered. “You will both want for nothing.”

“So you’ve said.” Ash replied, trying to keep her emotions in check. It wasn’t working so well. The two mindlessly turning to face each other now. Ash noticed he was holding his saber in his hand.

            “I won’t ask again...” He reached out with his free hand. “Please…”

Ash stared at his hand for what felt like a long while, her lips tugging slightly into a smile as she looked up at him, his darkened eyes shrouded in pitch black darkness. “I love you so much.” She began. “But, I can’t join you this way.”

            His soft expression dropped to an intense glare. They both knew what he was going to do if she denied him. “Don’t make me do this, Starshine.”

           That look in her eyes; she dared him; provoking the darkness within him. “Do it. You know I’ll never stop fighting if you don’t.”

            His lightsaber ignited; Ash didn’t even flinch as he raised his saber and brought it down on the red-haired girl. The darkness took over. If she wouldn’t join him, she needed to be destroyed. However, the impact never came as the saber skimmed right through her, leaving no mark behind.

            Confused at first, he looked down at the blade, then up at the now disappearing Ashlyn. Suddenly, it made disgusting sense. She tricked him, like she had done numerous times now. His head snapped to the other side of the room as Ashlyn crawled out of her hiding spot, his lightsaber shaking in his hand before flying out of it and towards her; the blade retracting as it did. He realized what she was doing as her arm extended towards the weapon.

            His arm snapped outward; the lightsaber pausing midair as the two battled for it. He may have been stronger than her, but Ash was determined. And in that desperation and determination, a miracle happened. The Force from both users, sent them flying backwards and landing on the cold ground with a thud.

            Ash groaned from the impact. She was definitely going to be feeling that in the morning, assuming she lived through it. A grim thought she immediately needed to shake as she forced herself to her side to see the abandoned lightsaber on the ground. Kylo Ren had not moved yet. This was her chance. Her body screaming in agony from the pain as she forced herself to her feet and stumbled over to the lightsaber. She grabbed her own blade; the amber glow igniting in the room as she slashed down at the corrupted hilt.

            Her blade didn’t get there as it stopped mid-motion. Ash looked up to see Kylo Ren had come to. He was on his knees, his arm outstretched as he visibly shook, keeping her from moving. Her body was frozen, but that didn’t stop her from trying. She had to keep trying. This couldn’t be it, this isn’t where she’d give up.

            Everything had lead up to this moment; every fight, every power struggle, everything. Every moment of love, fear, hate, acceptance. All of it came down to this moment right here as the two battled for dominance. They had fought so hard to get here and for so long. Like she had promised, she was by his side through all of it. Now, he needed her. He needed her even though he didn’t realize it then. He needed her more than ever. Ash knew that. And she was ready to give it all to save him. As her body shook, her nose began to bleed from the sheer Force combating her. She was not going to give up and neither was he.

            Without being able to control it, Ash began yelling, fighting against the pressure from the Dark Side, fighting against everything that tried it’s damndest to keep her from doing what she had to do. With one last cry, one last attempt. She broke out of the hold and her amber blade came crashing down on the other lightsaber. The impact sending sparks flying as the hilt exploded into tiny pieces, the tiny black stone shattering with it as Ashlyn flew backwards once again, but this time from a much stronger force.

            Ash’s chest rose and fell rapidly, blood still pooling from her nose as she stared up at the black ceiling. Her vision beginning to tunnel and darken. Her pulse thudding in her ears as she could barely make out the person calling her name. It didn’t matter. Nothing mattered then. Ashlyn Solo did what she was had to do… and everything else went black.

 


	66. Aftermath

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Aftermath

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's getting real now that this story is almost complete and it's honestly really bittersweet. Thank you guys so much for taking this journey with me, I can't express how grateful I am to you all.
> 
> If you decide to leave a comment between now and the next few chapters, leave whatever you want. A comment, a review, a question about this story; anything. Write whatever, I'll respond. I want to hear from as many of you as possible so I can respond and also thank you individually. 
> 
> I'm gonna go be a crying mess somewhere else hahaha.

* * *

 

**_Beep_ ** _. That faint beeping continued to echo in the distance until it became a persistent ringing in her headspace. A quick gasp of air, eyes fluttering open, but barely to greet bright fluorescent lighting. Shadows. Familiar shadows that formed to shapes of people yelling words that she couldn’t make out. They were completely muffled and overshadowed by the long ringing._

_Her eyes closing again before opening once more after who knows how long. Her head was turned to the side. She saw him. Silent and unmoving. He looked peaceful in a way as he lied on a similar stretcher. Another gasp as people took him away to a different room. She could make out Hux, but only by his hair, following after him._

_Gasping. She was awake again, although she wasn’t sure she fell asleep. Now she could see Phasma stomping next to her stretcher, yelling to worried personnel that she didn’t know. What was she yelling? What was the panic. Oh, she realized. It was her. It was him. It was the current state they were both in._

_“ **BRACE YOURSELVES!** ” Broke through the persistent ringing as the ship shook violently from an unseen shockwave from the explosion of the Supremacy. Something she’d learn about later. For now, Ash was certain she was dying as the drawled-out ringing returned and she began to see white._

            The ringing stopped and soon _it sounded like the ocean echoing through her ears as she opened her eyes to see a beautiful and lucious grassy field in front of her. One lit by the warm sun and cooled by the gentle breeze. It was familiar in many ways and only completely recognizable when the hut came into view. **Maridun** , she realized. _

_She was sitting in the grass; the warm tingles on her bare arms as she looked down at the grey sundress she was in. As she looked back up, this time, she wasn’t alone. He was staring back at her, sitting with his legs crossed. He wasn’t wearing his normal uniform, instead he was in a relaxed black shirt with black pants. He looked sad, but his eyes were that warm honey glow she came to love. “Hi.” She said._

_His lips quirked upward slightly. “Hi.”_

_“I’m dead, aren’t I?”_

_Ren snorted. “Why do you always assume you’re dead?”_

_Ash shrugged. “One of these times I will be.”_

_He rolled his eyes at her logic. “Well, you’re not.”_

_“I saw them take you away.” Ash wasn’t sure if those words were even hers. They seemed so foreign. What had she seen only a few moments before? “There was an explosion… panic. I don’t remember much after that.”_

_“They blew up the Supremacy.” Ren confirmed. “We were on a nearby transport unit on our way back to the destroyer. The aftershock hit the ship enough to cause it to shake.”_

_“That’s where we are now?” She asked. “What happened?”_

_“We’re both passed out at the moment; reaching out to each other for some sense of comfort.”_

_Ash frowned, not really understanding. “Passed out?” It all flooded back to her now; the fight, the lightsaber, the stone. She destroyed it._

_“You haven’t woken up yet.”_

_“But you have?”_

_“Not exactly.”_

_Ash groaned. “Listen, if you’re going to be cryptic--”_

_“And if you’re going to be impatient.” Ren gave it right back, receiving a glare from his wife. “I’m trying to rehabilitate from the separation of the stone. It’s taking a lot out of me.”_

_Ash bit her lip, looking down as she did. “Then why are you using your energy to be here?”_

_He smirked. “I’m not. Although, I am very interested as to how we’re sharing dreams again. It’s been a while.”_

_Ash found herself smiling at that. “I miss seeing you in my dreams.”_

_“I miss you.”_

_She looked back at him. “Then when I wake up, I’ll come see you.”_

_His smile dropped immediately. “You can’t.” He explained. “Not until I’m back to normal. I’m still out of control.”_

_“You seem fine now.”_

_“You’re also dreaming.”_

_“Fair enough.” Ash didn’t argue, her mind immediately beginning to fill with panic as she looked back down at her stomach. She remembered the other surprising news. “Is the baby okay?” Kylo Ren tensed as Ash looked back at him in horror. “Is the baby okay?” She asked again, her voice echoing as her own panic began to wake her up, ripping her from her shared dream with him._

 

* * *

 

              A warm, tingling sensation started from her toes and all the way up to her face. A familiar tingling that she had felt before; the child. The Force within the child growing inside her was buzzing throughout her being as her body twitched ever so slightly. With a sigh of relief that the child was unharmed, she was fully coming to. Slowly, her eyes began to flutter. She inhaled deeply, like it was her first breath in years. The air burning her lungs from the sudden and overwhelming intake. She let it out after holding it in for a moment. She was most certainly in a medic room.

            Her head turned slightly to the door as she began to sense someone. Her eyes scanning over the exhausted Force User that entered the room. The two girls staring at each other silently; no words needed to be said right away. They felt it. Rey made the first move as she walked further into the room and closer to the red-haired girl on the bed. She pulled up a chair and sat down next to her. “Where are we?” Ash asked, her voice scratchy from sleeping.

            “Ascension destroyer. Medic wing.” Rey answered. “We’re hovering above Chandrila.”

She frowned, her face hurting slightly. “Chandrila?”

            “The new meeting place for the new Galactic Government. Leia and Hux have a meeting with a few leaders today; the new shift in ordered governments is beginning.” Rey explained.

            “We won?” She asked, coughing slightly from the dryness of her throat.

A small smile crept on Rey’s lips as she nodded a little eagerly. “We won…” Ash sat back again, her attention fixated on the ceiling as she let out a long sigh. For the first time in a long time, she felt relieved. “Ash--” Rey’s voice was soft, causing the girl to turn her head once more to look at her friend. “Why didn’t you tell me what was happening on the Supremacy? We could have stopped him together.”

            Ash sat up fully now, her body aching and desperate for more rest. Yet, Ashlyn was known to be restless if sitting still for too long. “If I did, I would have lost you. Or him. In all my dreams, when it was the three of us fighting, someone would die. I couldn’t risk it.” She looked down at her stomach, thankful in so many ways that the baby was okay. However, there was still one person on her mind. One person who’s wellbeing she was uncertain of. “Ren?”

            “He separated himself for a while.” Rey explained. “He said he needed to be locked away until his body could reset from the sudden loss of the darkness.”

             Ash realized Kylo Ren had been telling the truth in their shared dream, after all. “Does everyone know what happened?”

            Rey shook her head. “Not everyone. Leia believed it was for the best that this be kept within a close-knit group, for the sake of the integrity of it all.”

             “How is he now?”

Rey almost didn’t want to answer; however, she knew a lack of answer wasn’t acceptable and the full answer was just as awful. Instead, she settled for a diplomatic one. “He’s been worse.”

            Ash frowned. “Rey--”

“Master Skywalker says it’s not easy for someone to suddenly be ripped from a stone like he was. In fact, most die from it. However, Ren has been holding on. Luke says it’s because he has something to live for.” Rey gestured to Ash’s stomach. “Speaking of--”

            Ash groaned, ready for a scolding of the century as she rested her head against the dashboard of the bed. “This--” She said, waving her hands over her stomach. “Was not planned.”

            Rey smiled. “Well, at least it’s a nice surprise, right?”

Ash gave her friend a pointed look. “A surprise, for sure.” Ash looked down at her hands as they idly played with a stray string on the thin blanket draped over her lower half. “How long have I been asleep for?”

            Rey pursed her lips. “Four days.”

She grimaced. “Four?” Rey could only nod in reply. “So… when can I bust out of here and come back to the world of the living?”

              “Well, once you’re examined and cleared we can rejoin everyone down on Chandrila.”

Ash found herself frowning contemplatively. “And what happens then?”

            Rey stood from her chair, shrugging. “Whatever we want. The war is over and a new day is dawning.” Ash smiled, as she watched Rey leave the room to find the examiner.

  


    

* * *

       

           

             After being poked and prodded by the medical examiner, Ash was given clearance to leave the ship with Rey, who was still patiently waiting for her. It hadn’t really hit Ash yet, the significance of it all until she took a transporter to the planet’s surface and walked out into the daylight of the beautiful Hanna City. Stars, this city was breathtaking. It wasn’t like Coruscant by any means, it was clean and somewhat vibrantly calm. Ash looked around the landing area, where other ships from the Resistance and Ascension were landing to drop off or pick up anyone that wanted to go back and forth. In the distance, she saw the familiar black x-wing and the pilot and droid that went with it. Joining him, was the ex-trooper.

            Ash nudged Rey, getting her attention. Rey began smiling, happy to see Finn and Poe. She had chosen to stay by Ash’s side during the travel to Chandrila, and while there really was no need to worry about their safety since the war had ended, it was still a sigh of relief for her.

          Poe and Finn spotted the girls, the group meeting in the middle as Poe quickly pulled Ash in for a hug. “You have no idea how happy I am to see you up and about.”

           Ash smiled into the hug, holding him tightly and lingering for a moment before pulling back and hugging Finn. “I’m glad you’re both okay.” She said into the second hug. After their shared moment, she kneeled down to BB-8 and nudged him playfully. “I have some parts for you back on the destroyer.” The droid beeped happily, causing Ash to laugh.

            “So… I guess some congratulations is in order?” Poe said nervously, his eyes falling to Ashlyn’s midsection as she stood back up.

            Ash rolled her eyes. “Don’t get weird on me, hero. I’m pregnant, not a pariah.”

“Is there a difference?” He joked, receiving a playful whack on the arm from Ash.

            “Does **_everyone_** know I’m pregnant?” Ash asked with a slight panic in her tone. The foreign concept of being with child was already messing with her in the first place.

            Poe thought for a moment, humming obnoxiously before nodding. “Yeah. Pretty much everyone does.”

            “Who told?” The group went silent as Finn and Poe avoided looking at Rey, whom was also trying to look unsuspicious as Ash gawked. “Rey?!”

            “Listen, you were passed out, I didn’t know what was going on when they brought you back to the destroyer so…” She paused, sighing. “They would have found out anyway.”

            Ash’s smile was more of a grimace. “I appreciate it, but… now everyone is going to be insufferable and making a big deal about it.” She looked at Poe. “Like you!”

             Poe merely grinned at the accusation. “We have so much to show you both and General Organa will be very eager to see you’re awake.”

             She frowned. “Why’s that?”

“Well, you’re carrying her grandchild and all--” Ash groaned audibly, receiving a hearty laugh in return as she followed the group into a very large and ornate building.

 

* * *

  


            The group had made their way into the original location of what had used to house the New Republic, before its relocation to Hosnian Prime. A sore subject that was not to be mentioned for a multitude of reasons, one being that anyone on Hosnian Prime was now dead thanks to StarKiller. It left quite an impression, one that would not be so easily forgotten by the remaining senators and any alliance members wishing to reconfigure the government. A difficult task, but one Leia was determined to work towards. Especially now that she had a team who wanted the same thing. She’d vouch for their legitimacy.

            She sat in one of the lounge areas with Armitage Hux and Gwendoline Phasma, enjoying the peace and quiet as they awaited their next meeting. They had won. The war that seemed never ending and so very one sided was over. What did Leia Organa do now? Most of her life was spent fighting in some sort of resistance and trying to create a better governing power for the galaxy as a united whole. However, the wrong people had been in power each and every time. It wasn’t easy, but Leia fought.

            Then there was the matter of her son. While the knowledge of his relapse wasn’t exactly publicly known, it was still a hinderance. Should the already leery members of the newly forming government catch wind of this, it would shake their trust in them. She knew her son was going to have an extremely hard time convincing them otherwise, he didn’t need the extra weight holding him down.

            And finally, there was Ashlyn and the child. While it wasn’t a headache for Leia or an obstacle to overcome, it was still occupying her mind. She was going to be a grandmother, who wouldn’t be excited over that? However, there was a part of her that was holding on to the fact that someone was missing from the picture. And while Han wasn’t exactly the best husband, he was still a great father. He’d be one hell of a grandfather, as far as she was concerned.

            It made her wonder what kind of father her son would be, having watched his father disappear so frequently. While that was the case, Han was still a loving father and was there for his son as much as he could be. She wondered the kind of impact that would have.

 

* * *

 

            When Hux found Kylo Ren and Ashlyn, they were in the Throne Room. The bombs had been placed, ready to bring down the tyrant ship. It was quite the curveball when Brass had contacted them about the Force Users that should not have still been on board the ship. But, they were. And when he found them, it was an image he wanted gone from his mind, yet now burned there forever.

            His first thought had been that Ashlyn was dead. She wasn’t moving as she lied on the floor around the bodies of Snoke and the Praetorian Guards. Kylo Ren, on the other hand, was writhing in a ghostly pain that neither Hux nor Phasma knew what to do with. Ashlyn had to have died, that was the only logical explanation as to why this was happening. However, to his surprise, when Phasma told him otherwise and that Ash was actually alive, they knew they had little time to react.

            They sedated Kylo Ren and carried him off the ship, separating him from all contact. He was a danger to himself and others then and Hux needed some answers. The first answer he got was from the medical examiner on board and after doing a quick blood test, to his shock, learned of Ashlyn’s pregnancy. The second answer came when his destroyer was invaded by an overly panicked Light User who needed to see for herself that Ash was in fact alive. That was when he learned that he needed to move Kylo Ren to a much more secure room and the big secret of this matter began.

            Either way, the diplomatic trio had one thing in common, the shared relief on their faces when they saw the redhead enter the room, trailing behind the Resistance trio. “Look who woke up.” Poe said.

           Ash smiled happily seeing that Phasma, Hux and Leia had all survived and, for the most part, looked well. Leia was first out of her seat as she made her way across the room and hugging her daughter-in-law tightly. “I am so grateful that you are all right.” Her eyes quickly skimmed downward and back up to Ashlyn’s face. “Both of you.”

           “Medic says everything is fine. I’m healthy and everything’s good.” Ash confirmed. “And--” She hesitated slightly, looking from Leia then to Hux and Phasma. She knew what their next question was. “I’m about seven weeks.”

           “So, you’ve been hiding this from us for a while.” Hux smirked, as he walked over to hug Ashlyn. The two embracing for a good moment before Ash pulled away to hug the blond that walked over as well.

          “Believe me, it was hidden from me too.” Ash joked as she hugged Phasma, who was now getting used to the gesture from the redhead. “I’m glad you’re both safe.” She meant it. As the two pulled away, her mind began to fill with hundreds of questions. Questions she wasn’t sure she knew where to start with. So, she started with the most generic. “What happens now?”

          Hux was the one to answer. “Now, we play the part of politicians. This is where General Organa and myself fight to get our hopefully, new leader, into power and convince of the new shift of things in the Galaxy.”

          “Easier said than done, I assume?”

“You have **_no_** idea.” Hux smirked. “Right now, we are in the main senate building and Senator Varrek, whom I’m sure you’ll meet soon, has been gracious enough to set up housing for those that will be staying on the planet surface.” Hux explained. “As for you. Your part in this war is over, should you wish it to be. You can rest, relax and enjoy the downtime until further notice.”

            She frowned. “Further notice?”

“My dear, if Kylo Ren becomes the next Leader of the Galaxy… you’re going to have a very busy life ahead of you.” Hux explained.

            _Oh right_ , she thought. _Madame Supreme._ Ash forced a smile then, knowing the only people who could sense her distress in the room would not bring it to light right then and there. “Well then--” She said. “I guess I should return to the ship.”

            “That won’t be necessary.” Hux explained. “When I said there are those staying on the planet, that also meant you. Chandrila will be your new home for a while. There is an apartment ready for you.” Before Ash could ask her next burning question, he already had an answer. “Once Ren is better, he will be joining us down here.”

            Ash nodded, looking back to her group of out of place friends. “Then we should go explore then?”

            “I will be accompanying you.” Phasma added, securing her blaster to her belt.

Ash frowned. “Not that I mind your company as well, but is this one of those things I’m not going to like?”

            Phasma smirked. “It’s exactly one of those things you won’t like.”

“As the wife of the--” Hux began, only to be immediately interrupted by Ash.

            “Yeah, yeah. I need bodyguards.” Ash sighed. “Well, let’s go.” And with that, the group left the senate building once more.

 

    

* * *

       

 

            _Spiraling, gnawing, biting. Pain, fire, heat, ice._ His entire body was screaming as it fought violently against the sudden and immediate loss of the darkness. A severed connection that would kill those weak enough to let it. Kylo Ren was no such person. He had Skywalker blood in his veins. He was not going down without a fight.

            His body covered in a cold sweat as he yelled in torturous pain. Stars, it was blazing in this confinement. Or was it freezing? He couldn't tell anymore. He didn’t know where he began or ended. Who was he anymore? Was he even alive still? He wasn’t certain he could tell at this point. Did it matter?

            Yes. It mattered. It mattered more than anything. But, not for the reasons he had originally thought. Kylo Ren had always had a plan; a defined purpose that set him apart from so many before him. A natural born leader and the son of two driving forces to a rebellion that spread throughout the galaxy. He was gifted with the Force, he was unstoppable. He was going to change the Galaxy. He was Ben Solo. A thriving force that broke down walls with such gusto and such drive. He was a phoenix rising. Ben Solo was going to change it all.

            None of the old dreams mattered any longer. The ideas of grandeur were a thing of the past, it seemed. A wasted and foolish dream that held no merit now that he knew what was really important. The redhead. Stars, she was beautiful. She was keeping him going. Flashes of her smile crossed his mind every now and then. He could never give up his fight to live and yet, he would throw it all away, all of it, if she said to. She was his muse, she was his purpose. He never thought in a million years that anything could change that.

            Then it did. The elevator. In the elevator he felt this _pop_. This resurgence of energy that pulsated from her. It wasn’t her. Well, it was. It was a part of her, but it was also a part of him. At first, it was unclear what he was feeling. Such power, such ferocity. Then, it made sense. A child, **_the_** child. The one he had dreamt about. It was real, which made the reality all the more terrifying. They were marching into uncertainty. They could have died and they almost did. In fact, he almost **_killed_** them thanks to the darkness. He would never forgive himself for that. She could tell him a thousand times over for the rest of their lives that she forgave him and yet he still could never.  

            Now, there was so much to worry about. If he thought the stakes were high in going after Snoke, it was nothing compared to this. He had a senate to convince, a Galaxy to potentially run, a wife that he nearly killed, oh, and he was going to be a father.

            A father. That was a weird thought. He didn’t know if he **_could_** be a father. Sure, his vision was tempting and so wonderful to him. He wanted to be one, especially if delving into parenthood meant doing so with Ash. However, now that the realization was hitting him and the reality was set in stone. He was afraid. What if he couldn’t be there for his child like he wanted to be? He was setting himself up for failure by doing exactly what his mother had done to him. Be consumed by politics and not have time to be fully present. Well, at least he wouldn’t make his child feel like a monster. That was one positive in all the doubt, right?

            Luke came to see him daily, although it felt like an eternity between each visit. He was the only person allowed in the room that could not only help him, but also someone he wouldn’t feel too awful accidentally killing in the process. Luke said he was getting better, each day he was growing stronger and winning his fight. At times, it didn’t feel like it. But, he knew he had to. He had fight and he had to win. If not for her, then for their child.

 

* * *

 

              As night fell over the busy Hanna city, Ash found herself in her new apartment on Chandrila. It was surprisingly a rather large living space. With two bedrooms, a living area, a kitchen area and a balcony that overlooked the city. It was beautiful. But it meant nothing to her as she stood there quietly and utterly alone.

               While she appreciated her busy day out with friends (although one was really there to keep her safe), the distraction being a necessary one, it didn’t stop her from feeling that weight of what happened. He tried to kill them. A thought that was hard to ignore as it crept forward in her mind. Without much of a debate, he so easily struck down on the projection of her. Knowing he would be ending not just her but their unborn child as well. And while she knew in her heart that it wasn’t him. It was the stone. She couldn’t help but doubt even just a little bit. A part of her knew that doubt was more prominent considering she was alone now.

              Everything was changing, it was clear in how her afternoon went. For the first time in over a year she didn’t feel like she had to be on guard. She didn’t feel like her actions were going to cause a complete and total meltdown of one side of a war. The war was over. And while Ashlyn should have been relieved, it left a pretty big question lingering in the air. What the hell was Ashlyn Solo supposed to do now?

            What type of person was Ashlyn going to become. A mechanic from Lothal that grew up with the best of the scum of the galaxy and now potentially the wife of the next Supreme Leader and mother to perhaps the next lineage in leaders. Yet, it didn’t feel like that meant she had a place in all this. Her place was by Rey and Ren’s side during a war that she was useful during. Now? She didn’t feel like she had much use anymore. What did Ashlyn Solo do now that she wasn’t exactly **_needed_**?

             With a sigh, she rested her arms on the balcony and leaned forward. The night was quieting and, in that silence, came that dreadful reassurance of loneliness as she bit the inside of her lip.

            She frowned unexpectedly, sensing she was no longer alone in her apartment. Her hand lowered to her side with ease, her fingers grazing her lightsaber hilt. With two quick beats, she grabbed the saber tightly and turned with force, the amber blade whizzing out as she stepped into the apartment ready for a fight. However, what she saw was not exactly what she expected to see. In the corner, against the wall, he was sitting with his knees curled to his chest and his arms on his knees. His head down as he sat there.

             Sighing with a hesitant relief, she retracted the lightsaber. He wasn’t really there, she knew that. “Ben?”

His head snapped up as confusion adorned his features. He hadn’t been aware of his projecting until he frowned in recognition. His jaw fell slack as his body relaxed slightly. “Sorry.” He mumbled.

             “It’s fine.” Ash said softly, reattaching her lightsaber to her belt. “The Force likes to connect us when we need it most.” He snorted in reply. “It’s true.”

             “I know it is.” He snapped; a part of him still not wanting to admit when he needed the help. Ash felt his pain tugging at her as she walked over to where he was sitting. She hesitated only a moment before positioning herself next to him. The two barely touching as she crossed her legs. “You deserve better.”

              Ash rolled her eyes, grinning at how ridiculous that sounded to her. “I have what I need and want.”

Ren stared at her with such intensity, even though he wasn’t physically there it still held weight in it. “And what if I can’t give that to you? What if everything’s changed and I no longer have it in me to be what you need?”

              “You’re right--” Ash agreed with an airy chuckle. “Everything has changed. And while I don’t know what that means for you or for me… for us. Where our place is in all this. I really don’t know where we go from here. But, wherever it is, I want it to always be with you. I don’t know what part I have to play in all this anymore, my story is probably over. But yours is just beginning, another chapter has started and I want to be right there with you through it.” She fought hard against the doubt in her mind. Her heart was strong, her heart knew what she wanted. She knew Ben Solo was in there, fighting to get out. She knew Ben Solo was not the monster on the Supremacy.  

              Kylo Ren rolled his eyes. “Your part isn’t over, Ash.” He replied dryly. “You have much more to give. So much more.”

She smiled sadly. “What use am I if I’m not fighting in a war or fixing things?”

             His brow quirked upward. “Who said you had to stop fixing things?”

“Do you **_really_** think the wife of the next Supreme Leader should be a mechanic?”

             “Yes.” Ren stated simply. “Because she’s a damn good one.” Her smile widened to a sincerer one. “Just because you’re not doing something profound, doesn’t make it any less important. You saved the galaxy, you’ve done more than enough, more than what anyone deserves. Let alone what I deserve.”

            “You deserve more than you give yourself credit for.”

He snorted. “I don’t deserve you or our son.” The weight fell into the room again as the tension spread like wildfire. Of course, he was taking it to heart. He could feel it residing within her too. “What I did to you both--”

            Ash gently placed her hand on his arm, and although he wasn’t actually there, they could feel it. “Let’s save that conversation for another day.” She offered. “When you’re really here.”

            “See?” A smirk tugged at his lips. “You’re too good for me.” Rolling her eyes at him, she placed her head down on his arm, resting it just below his shoulder. The two sitting in silence before Kylo Ren finally asked. “How is he?”

            Ash’s lips pursed slightly. “He’s okay. It’s weird, there’s nothing that anyone else can see or do when it comes to him. He’s basically the size of a berry. But I can feel him. Well, that sounds dumb.” She let out an airy laugh. “I can feel the Force beginning to take shape within him. Medic says I’m about seven weeks.”

“Seven?” He stuttered slightly. “We’ve only been married for seven--” Then the math clicked and he was back to smirking again at the memory of their first night on the Ascension destroyer. “I suppose that makes sense.” Ash sat up again, the two falling silent, but a happier silence between them. “It feels so long ago.” He commented.

“It does.” Ash agreed. “From arriving to StarKiller all the way to now… it feels like an eternity has gone by without us realizing it.” She laughed. “We’ve come so far from when you Force choked me.”

Ren frowned at that. “You couldn’t have picked a better moment?”

“It was our **first** moment. And looking back on it, it was kind-of funny.”

            “How is Force choking you funny?” He asked dryly.

Ash smiled then. “Because no matter how hard you tried to convince yourself you hated me, you ended up marrying me and now I’m pregnant with your child. That’s how.”

            “You have such a weird sense of humor.” He said fondly, the two of them dropping their guard without realizing it.

“I have to keep myself entertained somehow.” She replied, her smile faltering slightly. “Hux says I have to be under almost constant surveillance. While he doesn’t believe anyone would try and harm me, he wants to be sure. It’s not the worst, though. Our apartment is nice.”

            He saw through her hesitance. “But, you don’t like it?”

“No.” She frowned contemplatively. “I do, I just don’t like being alone in it.”

            Kylo Ren sighed; frustrated that he couldn’t be with his wife yet. “Soon.” He answered the unspoken question. “I will be out soon.”

 


	67. The Start of a New Order

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ashlyn and Kylo Ren learn to adjust back into their normal lives only to realize that normalcy is not something they can have any longer.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the second to last chapter and I feel like after all the drama I made you guys suffer through that you deserve fluff. So please, enjoy the fluff. Enjoy the nice stuff, we're almost done. Next chapter is it... so let's give this story a good send off!

 

* * *

 

             Groaning. Insistent and quite honestly, depressingly awful groaning was coming from the red-haired girl as she tried everything in her power to zip up her olive colored jumper. The zipper wouldn’t budge over the slight bump that was beginning to form in her midsection. It had only been two weeks since she had found out of her pregnancy and already she was having a miserable time. Okay, no, that was a clear exaggeration. She was happy to be pregnant. Her hormones said otherwise. And still, she didn’t really **_look_** pregnant yet. But damn, could she feel it. Between morning sickness and her constant mood swings. Now this? Ashlyn was over the excitement. At least for now until the bad stuff was over.

            “Everything okay in there, darling?” The powerful woman’s voice asked as she walked into the bedroom to see if Ash was indeed fine (and secretly also making sure she hadn’t hopped off the balcony and ran away. Yes, she realized, that was a liable fear at this point in time all things considered). She saw the disappointed look on the girls face as she tried to squeeze the fabric together. “Oh, Ashlyn.” Phasma smiled sympathetically. “We must get you new clothes.”

            “I knew I wasn’t going to fit in this outfit for much longer, I just didn’t think it would be so soon.” Ash complained, turning to face Phasma in her half-zipped jumper. Her white tank top that no longer rested easily on her exposed form underneath as her arms fell to her sides in defeat. “What do I wear now?” Ash asked, wandering over to the closet, knowing there were no pants inside that would really fit her. The small collection of clothes she had were brought down from the destroyer along with a strangely numerous number of black garments of Kylo Ren’s. Ash could have sworn they were all literally the same outfit repeated over and over again considering she had never seen her husband wear anything else.

            “I can take you out in the city today.” Phasma suggested; taking her new role as Ashlyn’s bodyguard quite seriously. “I’m sure our gracious hosts can point us in the right direction to a dressmaker.”

            Ash grimaced. “Forgive me for not being so eager to jump on the chance to get out of here for a while, but, I still don’t have anything to go out in.”

            “I can see what I have in my closet.”

Ash sighed, her eyes skimming the closet again only to stop at the bright orange flight suit that seemed to be stuffed in the very back of her side. She smiled somewhat hopeful. “Actually, I have something.”

            “I’ll let you get to it.” Phasma nodded, turning out of the bedroom and back into the living area. Although, she’d be lying if she said she wasn’t the least bit concerned at what Ashlyn was going to pick.

            Without much thought or effort, Ash grabbed the resistance flight suit and removed her original tight clothing. She grabbed a loose fitting black shirt from Kylo Ren’s side and shimmied into the flight suit, tying the sleeves around her waist just enough to keep them from falling down and without being too tight on her sensitive midsection. She looked ridiculous, but it would have to do.

            Walking out of her bedroom, her arms outstretched in presentation as she turned; beaming. “Well?”

            Phasma chuckled. “‘ ** _Well_** ’, is right.”

“I tried, okay?”

            “You did try.” Phasma agreed. “It will do for now.”

 

* * *

  


            When Luke Skywalker entered the security chamber that held Kylo Ren, he was pleasantly surprised when he saw his nephew standing. He was adjusting his top, trying to straighten out the wrinkles from the passed almost three weeks now. Luke felt the dramatic shift that morning, he knew what that meant. It was time to let Kylo Ren out of his cell. “How are we feeling today, Ben?”

            Ren snorted. “I need to shower.”

Luke let out an airy chuckle at his unscathed sarcasm. “I figured.” He agreed as he moved away from the door, allowing his nephew to step out of the cell and into the bright fluorescent lighting of the Ascension. “It is currently mid-afternoon on Chandrila; a beautiful seventy-three degrees.” Luke made small talk as he walked alongside his silent nephew. “There is much to discuss, most of it I have no part in as I will be leaving soon now that you’re up and about.” Ren’s brown quirked upward at that. “I’m taking the remaining two stones and relocating them to a safer and out of reach place. They’re not needed any longer.”

            Ren nodded; relief washing over him as he saw his apartment door. “They’re expecting me on Chandrila now?”

 “They are.” Luke confirmed. “Some more than others. Though, you may want to take that slow, all things considered.”

            “Planned on it.” Ren agreed as the door to his apartment slid open. “However, you don’t know my wife like I do. She won’t have that.” Luke merely grinned as the apartment door closed between them. He’d give his nephew a moment to freshen up, he badly needed it after being secluded for so long.

 

* * *

 

            Captain Phasma lead Ashlyn to the nearby dressmaker who was more than helpful when it came to creating maternity clothes for her. Although, Ashlyn was really having a hard time adjusting to the idea of someday having an even bigger bump under her clothes. That day would be coming much sooner than later, she realized. And with a sigh, she agreed to the comfortable dress idea that would be sent to her new apartment once completed.

For now, all she could think about was stuffing her face with buttersweet puffs. Something she swore she had no idea she liked until she tried one at the senate building and became addicted. To her defense, it was the cravings that really made it such a big fanfare. That and her new craving for pickled Corellian buckwheat noodles. A typically disgusting dish that she was dying for.

            As the two women walked back to the senate building; the pair taking their time to enjoy the warm sun as Ash walked in her absolutely ridiculous outfit. Perhaps the new maternity clothes were not so awful of an idea. “I saw more senators arriving this morning.” Ash commented in passing.

            Phasma hummed in acknowledgement. “They’re preparing for a rather large meeting with Hux and General Organa. And of course, once Kylo Ren is ready. If things run on schedule, there should be the vote later this week.”

            Ash flinched at the name; the two hadn’t been sharing dreams since he appeared in her kitchen two weeks earlier. “I feel like everyone is tiptoeing around me when it comes to my husband. No one wants to be the one to inform me of how he’s doing. It’s always _we’ll tell you when we know something._ It would be easier if I could go up there and see him.”

            “Unfortunately, you know that’s not possible.” Phasma said. “A woman in your position should refrain from too much travel. I know it’s still early in your pregnancy, but you should be careful at overexerting yourself.”

            She frowned. “I’m pregnant, not dying.”

“From the way it sounded this morning as you tried to fit into your clothes, I could have sworn it was the latter.” Phasma teased as Ash reluctantly laughed at that. “However, it is true. We don’t know anything more on your husband right now except that he’s recovering. If there was anything substantial to report we would tell you.”

            It made sense, however, that didn’t make it any less frustrating for Ash as she plopped down on a nearby cement bench. She would stall as long as possible to stay outside and not go back in to the boring and mundane. Phasma wasn’t daft either, she knew what Ash was doing and instead of fighting her, she sat down next to her. “I was talking to Senator Varrek a few days ago.” Ash said, making small talk. “He said it’s springtime here on Chandrila.” She nodded to the the flowers all around them in the courtyard. “Everything is so pretty.”

            “And spring is known for bringing new beginnings.” Phasma added. “A new start, new romance.” As if on cue, the two were no longer alone as Rey and Finn wandered into the courtyard. The two women on the bench noticing their hands laced together. A notion that quickly ended as Rey and Finn noticed them staring and grinning. Rey now blushing as Finn rubbed the back of his neck nervously as the two walked over.

            “New romance indeed.” Ash teased as she looked at Rey and Finn. “It’s such a nice day, isn’t it?” She asked knowingly.

            Rey beamed as she managed to squeeze next to Ash on the bench, resting her head on the girl’s shoulder and trying to change the subject. “How are you feeling today?”

            Ash sighed. “If my outfit is to say for any of it; not the best.”

“Yeah, what’s with the outfit--” Finn began to ask, biting his tongue as Phasma glared at him. “It’s a cool new look, don’t get me wrong!” He immediately tried to recover. “Just wasn’t expecting see you in the jumper, is all.”

            Phasma rolled her eyes. “Smooth.”

“I don’t fit in my normal attire anymore.” Ash explained finally with a hint of defeat.

            Rey sat up straight again. “But that’s a good thing though. That means he’s healthy and growing. You just need to get maternity clothes.”

            “We went today.” Ash said. “Should be ready by tomorrow. And not a moment too soon, all these senators are arriving and I’m sure they’d rather see the wife of the potential future Supreme Leader not wearing a flight suit and tank top.”

            Finn frowned. “There are a lot of senators wandering around today. Is Kylo Ren ready to meet them yet?”

            Phasma glared now as Rey put her head down, groaning. “You really are good at bringing up the worst topics at not the best of times.” Men truly didn’t understand.

            Ash forced a smile. “It’s okay, Phasma.” She said. “We’re not sure about him just yet. However, Hux and Leia have a meeting with the newly arriving senators regardless.”

            “You don’t have to attend these meetings, right?” Rey asked.

She shook her head almost a little too eagerly. “Thankfully, no. I’m just trying to stall having to go back inside. It’s so nice out.” Ash smirked. “Just don’t tell my bodyguard that.”

            Phasma couldn’t help but roll her eyes and grin. “We can stay out here for as long as you’d like, Ash. I’m don’t always need to play the _mean bodyguard_ role.”

            Ash beamed. “Thank the stars.”

* * *

  


            A hot shower felt amazing and Kylo Ren vowed to never take it for granted ever again. He changed into fresh, clean clothes and was scheduled on the first transporter off the Ascension and down to the planet with Luke. Brass saw to it personally to be the one to take him down. Even though Ren argued he could fly the damn ship himself, Brass was insistent. He also wanted an excuse to go down to Chandrila to see everyone, however, he’d keep that to himself.

             As the ship landed in the designated unloading area, he was greeted by saluting troops of not just the Ascension, but also some Resistance ones as well. An amusing gesture, to say the least. However, it made sense considering he was also in the company of Luke Skywalker.

            Surprisingly, and also not surprisingly, he was met by his mother, Hux, and the pilot. Leia wasted no time in hugging her son once he came close enough. “It’s good to see you.” She said softly.

            With slight hesitance, he returned the gesture and hugged her back. “I didn’t think I’d be given such a red-carpet welcome.” He retorted as he looked at Hux before pulling away from his mother.

            “I demanded to know the moment you were on the move again.” Hux explained cheekily. “Brass was just following orders.”

            Ren looked back at Brass who was nonchalantly avoiding his gaze all together. With an annoyed eye roll and smirk of his own, he turned back to Hux. “I suppose I don’t get a moment to breathe, now do I?”

            “I was able to stall your initial meeting for a day. You’re welcome, by the way.” Hux grinned. “However, we have much to discuss before your mother and I must head to one of our debriefings.” The group began walking towards the main building, Hux briefly explaining the area and about the kindness of Senator Varrek.

            All that was well and good, however, Kylo Ren seemed almost preoccupied and for some strange reason, Poe Dameron was the only one who really noticed as the two were now walking side by side and behind the group. However, Poe had a good feeling as to why. And while he wanted to kick himself for being even remotely helpful to the man next to him, he knew in the long run, it would benefit Ashlyn too. “Listen, I get whatever happened on the Supremacy… it wasn’t you.” He mumbled under his breath so only Kylo Ren could hear him. “And I’m not stupid. I know where your head is right now.” He nodded to the left, an empty passage the two could sneak down. “This way.”

            His brow quirked upward in amusement as he followed Poe, the two sneaking away from Hux, Brass and the two somewhat knowing Force sensitives that were walking. It wasn’t until they were deeper within the senate building Hux turned to realize they were gone. “Where…  The…?” Hux sighed defeatedly. “Did Ren kill the pilot and run off?”

            Leia smiled knowingly. “You have a lot to learn, Armitage.” She said fondly. “But, I think I know where my son went.”

            Luke snorted. “And here he told me **_she_** was the one to worry about.”

Hux caught on as he let out an exasperated sigh before nodding towards the gardens. “Shall we go get him then?”

           

 

* * *

 

            Ash’s arms were extended forward as she soaked in the warm sun, enjoying the feeling as she sat with Rey on the cement bench. Phasma had removed herself from the bench to harass Finn just a little bit more, however, this time was all in good fun as he teased right back.

            “When is Luke taking the stones from us?” She asked.

“He’s leaving as soon as Ren is ready.” Rey confirmed with a slight hesitancy on mentioning Kylo Ren. “I removed my stone from my saber, have you?”

               Ash shook her head. “I will once he’s ready for it. What happens after he hides them?”

“From what I understand, the Eye of the Sun will eventually recreate itself somewhere in the galaxy. He plans to hide these two far away from one another and keep an eye on them until further notice.”

            Ash frowned contemplatively. “So, he’s going back into exile?”

“He said he’s not needed here anymore.” Rey explained sadly. “His time is over; a new dawn of Jedi will see its day.”

            “Oh right, you’re leaving soon to begin your efforts in creating a safe haven for Force Sensitives.” Ash then grinned mischievously. “With Finn.”

            Rey’s cheeks burned bright red as the girls stared at Finn, whom was still messing around with Phasma. “Yes, with Finn.”

“How’s that going?” Ash asked.

           “It’s--” Rey hesitated with a smile. “Going.”

“You don’t sound sure.” Ash teased.

             “Would you fault me if I said I was nervous? I’ve never done anything like this before.”

“It’s only natural to be nervous.” Ash reassured her. “I was a wreck when Ben and I started growing closer. I almost fainted from panicking when I had a vision about us kissing.”

            Rey laughed. “Seriously?”

Ash laughed with her. “I mean, I was so used to seeing visions of my loved ones dying that it really threw me off. Also, it was Kylo- ** _freaking_** -Ren.” Ash sighed somewhat fondly. “It’s crazy how this all worked out in the end.” Ash’s smile dropped then as she bit her lip. “Is it selfish of me to say I don’t want you to go? I know you’re doing something wonderful for people like us, but… I’m going to miss you while you’re gone.”

            Rey smiled, her arm wrapping around the red-haired girl’s shoulders as she pulled her close. “I’ll be back. I have to be for this little guy.” She nodded to Ash’s midsection.

            “I know--” Ash smiled again, albeit a sad one. “I just feel like I’m running out of friends. You and Finn are leaving, Poe and Brass are always busy. It’s like everyone is leaving me.”

            “Only for a little while.” Rey assured her. “Even across the stars, we’ll always be together somehow.”

            Ash leaned in to Rey just a little more. “Promise?”

“Promise.” Rey smiled warmly. Both Force Users suddenly stiffened; a reaction that didn’t seem to go unnoticed by Phasma and Finn as they stared at the girls. The curious thing was that they weren’t even really sure what had made them this way. In fact, it wasn’t until Poe Dameron rounded the corner into the garden that they realized who was with him. Rey blinked a few times, making sure she saw exactly what she was seeing. “Ash?” She said, looking to her left to see Ash was already on her feet.

            In the distance, he stopped moving. The two staring at one another from across the garden, afraid to move. “I wasn’t supposed to see her yet.” Ren mentioned in passing to Poe. “I didn’t know if we’d be ready for it or not.”

            Poe hadn’t thought of it like that and frowned somewhat apologetically. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have--”

            Ren shook his head. “Fuck it.” He said. “Thank you, pilot.” A term that, for once, held no malice, in fact, it was in good sport when he said it. Poe merely smiled as Kylo Ren began walking forward towards his wife. It took a few seconds for Ash to register that yes, that was Kylo Ren, he was actually here and he was walking forward. In fact, she couldn’t find it in her to move until he was standing a good two feet in front of her before stopping again. Perhaps this was a bad idea and maybe Ren **_had_** overstepped his boundaries? He sighed, frustrated over being too eager. This was probably a really bad idea. She probably hated him for all the he had done; it only made sense that she would. “Starshine…” He began.

            In a matter of seconds, Ash moved and closed the small gap between them. Before he could register her movements, her arms were around his neck and he was already holding her in his arms. Her legs wrapped around his waist as his arms securely fastened around her. She was kissing him; something he had wanted for what felt like an eternity. Something he didn’t realize he had missed until she did it. Stars, he missed her. He missed her so much and she missed him. All that mattered then was the two of them, not anyone that was watching. Not the pilot, not the scavenger; nor the traitor, the Captain. The newly arrived Generals or the legend. None of them existed outside of the Grey and Dark Users. Not as far as they were concerned.

            When their lips finally parted, he reluctantly put her down as they pulled away, but not by much. They stared at each other again, taking in the sight of one another before he really looked at her, frowning and yet smirking. “Is that my shirt?”

            Ash laughed loud enough for everyone to hear as she wrapped her arms around his waist. “It’s a long story.” She explained as his arms wrapped around her.

 

* * *

 

            Kylo Ren made it clear to Hux (as did Phasma when the ginger tried to protest) that he was not to be disturbed for the rest of the evening. He would begin all political debriefings in the morning, for now, he was going to spend much needed time with his wife. Which, most of that time consisted of the pair not leaving the bedroom until later in the evening. The two were cuddled up and tangled within sheets as Ash rested her head on his chest, listening to his heart beating. “So, that’s why I had your shirt on.” Ash explained with a laugh. “Phasma took me to a dressmaker today to get new outfits. I wasn’t expecting it to happen so quickly.”

            Ren smiled, his hand tangling with her red locks as he idly played with strands of her hair. “I just thought you missed me that much you resorted to wearing my clothes.” He teased.

            Ash laughed. “I missed you, but I’m not that desperate. Perhaps if you took another week or two.”

            “I’m here now.” Ren said. “And I don’t plan on going anywhere.”

Ash lifted her head to look at him. “You better not.”

            Kylo Ren rolled over then, he carefully positioned himself on top of her as his arms held him up. “I’m not.” He insisted.

            She smiled, leaning up and giving him a quick kiss. “Good.” There were millions of things Ash wanted to say and ask him Yet, they all seemed to have a very similar structure as Ash found herself wanting to ask him if he was okay. As his wife, she should be concerned with how he was feeling and his steps in recovery. It only seemed natural. However, the more she thought about it, the more Kylo Ren began to pull back. It was a reminder, an awful one at that, as to what he had done. Sure, her intentions were noble, yet, it just brought back the worst of it.

            He sighed, his head drooping slightly. “Can we **_not_** do this now?”

She frowned, unsure of what he had meant at first. “Do what now?”

            “Or ever.” He added, rolling off her and now sitting on his side of the bed. Ash forced herself up to look at him, feeling something overtaking him then. Something she hadn’t really thought about until it happened. **_Guilt_**.

            “Ben?” He removed himself from the bed completely then, wandering over to the closet to find a pair of black sleep pants and putting them on. This was why Luke had said not to rush into it. He was still undeniably guilty over his actions and it showed as he stomped out of the bedroom.

            With a confused expression, Ash carefully got out of bed and put the baggy black shirt on before following him. If there was one thing Ash couldn’t do, it was giving him space right now. They had had their space. Now it was time to talk.

            He was at the balcony, leaning over it with his head in his hands. A mixture of so many negative emotions radiating from him as Ash walked closer to him. “I know a lot has happened in the past few weeks.” Ash began, her voice soft as she felt tears begin to prick at the corners of her eyes. Stars, the hormonal change from being pregnant was obnoxious at times. “But, please don’t shut me out like this. That’s only going to make it worse.”

            “No--” He snapped, standing up straight before turning around. “What’s making it worse is the fact that it’s not something we can just forget.” Ren’s voice dark as he walked back into their apartment and passed her. He wandered to the couch, plopping down on it with an angsty thud. “I’m an irredeemable asshole. I almost killed you and our child. How the **_hell_** is that something you expect us to just _talk out_?”

            “Then how else are we going to get passed it?” Ash was practically pleading. “I get it, it was an awful time, but we got through. We are still here. It’s time to move forward from it--”

 “At what point do you realize that I’m not good for you and I never will be?”

             Now, the hormones were taking over as she flooded with a mixture of anger that Ren wasn’t exactly prepared for. “Oh boo-fucking-hoo, Ren!” She snapped walking over to the couch to confront him; he was actually stunned by her sudden outburst. “I’m tired of this constant bullshit of you trying to protect me like I’m some fragile thing. I’m not. I’ve proven as much. And, in case you forgot, I’m your goddamn wife and--” She was crying then, angry and hormonal tears. “I can’t stop crying; I cry over everything. This stupid pregnancy is making everything awful and I can’t even talk to you about it and--” He was laughing now; an uncontrolled and somewhat nervous laugh escaping him as he realized the ultimate cause of the outburst, along with valid feelings. “Why the **_hell_** are you laughing?! I’m serious!”

            “Because you’re being ridiculous.” He stated plainly; that feeling of missing her began gnawing at him. The undeniable regret of having not been able to enjoy the fact that his wife was pregnant. Now it was being hurled at him without much restraint. “Even more so than normal.”

            “I’m really not though.” She said, wiping the tears that had fallen. “I’m not because outside of the hormonal pregnant rage, it’s still not fair. It’s not fair that you continue to choose what you think is right and wrong without even consulting me. I get it, everything’s all kinds of fucked up and you’re going to be extremely busy after tonight… but that doesn’t mean we can’t get passed this. I want to be there to help you along the way.” Kylo Ren said nothing, instead he looked down, ignoring her intense stare. “Then just tell me you don’t want me anymore. That you don’t want us. If it’s too hard for you, then just say it and I’ll go.” She gave him the choice. “I won’t ask again, I’ll stop fighting it. Just say it. Say that’s what you want.”

           He couldn’t. He couldn’t even look at her. As much as he wanted her to be safe from him, he wanted her all the same to be there. He shut his eyes tightly, maybe she’d just disappear like a nightmare if he did. She didn’t, that was a dumb thing to hope for. Instead, she came closer and kneeled in front of him, her soft hand touching his cheek.

             Gently, she forced his head up, his eyes opening; he couldn’t hide from her anymore. “We’re not going anywhere unless you want us to.” The concept of ‘ ** _us_** ’ being foreign to Kylo Ren, it was still something he wasn’t used to. It wasn’t just her anymore… there was a child now. And stars, he wanted to come home. He wanted forgiveness, he wanted to let the past die. He just didn’t know how. It wasn’t going to be easy and yet Ash was willing to fight for it; to fight for him. Like he had always known, she was too good for him and it was time to start counting his blessings.

            “How can you still want to forgive me after all of this?”

She laughed; an airy laugh with disbelief that he could even ask her that. “Because after all this time, I still want you and only you. From StarKiller to now, you’re all I want. We’re supposed to forgive each other, that’s how relationships work. You weren’t exactly thinking straight on the Supremacy and I know that. Now it’s time for you to accept that.”

            A low and frustrated growl escaped his throat as he leaned forward aggressively, capturing her lips with his. He kissed her hard and hungrily, afraid to pull away from her for if he did, he’d try to run again.

           She wasn’t going to let him as her arms wrapped around his neck, holding him close. The same fear in her own mind as she kissed him back just as feverently. Kylo Ren didn’t even care about the tears now streaming down his own cheeks as he pulled Ash closer, careful not to squeeze her too tightly. This was all he wanted; **_her._** He had always wanted her.

 

  

* * *

          

            Chaos. A different kind of chaos came over Chandrila as word spread of the arrival of Kylo Ren. Ashlyn was prepared for was the frequent disappearances of her husband as he was dragged to different meetings. She knew how important it was for him to be making appearances now. He had to win over the majority and he had to prove his purpose. It was a lot to ask of someone. However, before he left that morning, she swore to him that she’d be here when he came back. And when he did return, she’d give him a kiss and be by his side no matter what happened.

            Slowly, the weight of his guilt was washing away. Whether it was due to the distractions of the day or the fact that his wife was his rock for all of it. Either way, he was grateful for her in so many ways. He could never thank her enough.

            His first meeting hadn’t gone the way he had hoped; or rather anyone had hoped. The overbearing fear that filled the room was nauseating at first. However, Ren kept his wits about him and delivered his introductions with a grace that clearly reminisced his mother. Who was more than proud of the man her son was becoming as he stood in front of the remaining Galactic Senate. He took their concerns to heart and met them with a passion that none of them had seen before. His plan was strong, his ideas equally as promising. Now, they needed to vote. A house majority vote that would take place in a weeks’ time. Until then, Kylo Ren needed to do the one thing he absolutely hated. He needed to mingle. He was most certainly his mother’s son.

            If it weren’t for Hux, he was almost convinced he’d quit then and there. Armitage was at his side through all of it, making introductions and connections. He was charming and he was supportive in all the ways he had to be then. Soon, Ren was seen in a different light. A struggle that would go on for the rest of his days, however, he could sense the change happening. Perhaps, this wasn’t so hopeless after all.

            “It’s exhausting, isn’t it?” Hux mused as the two walked slowly down the main hall of the senate building. The duo was taking a quick break to get some fresh air from all the chaos. “I believe your mother and I have set a good ground for you to walk on, you should have no trouble convincing them to join you. Assuming you leave that Kylo Ren charm behind.” He teased, causing Ren to smirk. “How we ever got here is beyond me.”

            “It still amazes me.” Ren confirmed. “I had hoped that this end would be a reality, at times I never thought it actually could be.”

            “And here we are.” Hux agreed. “Your wife is driving Phasma crazy.”

Ren chuckled. “Believe me, they’re driving each other crazy. Ash was never one for being babysat.”

            “And Phasma does not care for babysitting.” Hux waved his hand dismissively. “Besides, you need to talk to her. She’s not supposed to be fixing things anymore. Phasma said she caught her and that horrid orange droid the other day in her closet, hiding so she could give him upgrades.”

            He wasn’t the least bit surprised. “That… sounds like my wife alright. I came home last night to an upgraded toaster.”

            Hux gawked. “She’s bored, Ren. What do you expect?”

“Yet she wants nothing to do with politics. Unfortunately, right now I can’t really be with her as much as I’d like. And yet, she’s still there every day when I get home, waiting for me. Supporting whatever it is I’m doing.”

            Hux nodded. “And you two are all right after what has happened?”

Ren frowned. “I almost killed them.”

            “Almost isn’t the same as actually doing it.” Hux explained. “You, of all people, should know that.”

            Kylo Ren groaned. “It’s easier to deal with hungry politicians than it is her. She’s too good for me and I’m reminded of that fact every time I see her.”

            Hux nodded. “She **_is_** too good for you.”

If looks could kill, Ren’s would have obliterated Hux. “I will demote you from being my second in command.”

            “What would you like me to say, Ren?” Hux asked. “Ashlyn is too good for you because she always forgives you. Even though you feel like you don’t deserve it.” Hux explained. “Personally, I think a lot of things you’ve done before this you didn’t deserve any forgiveness. Yet, again, Ashlyn is a saint for putting up with you. The least you could do is take the extra step and learn to forgive yourself now.”

            He changed the subject then; the overall message was not lost on him however. “I have to win their vote this week.”

 “Two-thirds vote.” Hux reminded him. “We best get back at it and try to win over as many political figures as possible.”

            “You believe it’s still worth fighting for?”

Hux smiled warmly. “Ren, if I didn’t, I wouldn’t have been by your side through all of it.” Perhaps, that glimmer of hope was just enough to convince him that things could work after all.

* * *

  


            Ash was wearing one of her new maternity outfits, a somewhat long brown dress with a thin, white short-sleeved shawl over it. She was beginning to show now at eleven weeks, but not exactly noticeable to those who weren’t in the know.

           Her heart was heavy however, having said goodbye to Luke a few days prior. He took the stones from the Light and Grey User and like a ghost, he was gone. Now, she was watching as Rey and Finn were packing up their ship, ready for their next adventure. It truly felt like everyone was leaving her. At least, for now, she still had Poe by her side as they said their goodbye’s.

          “Don’t look at me like that…” Rey begged, tears forming in her eyes as she looked at Ash. The two embracing tightly. “I told you I’d be back soon.”

            “I know--” Ash sighed, tearing up. “I know you did, but that doesn’t mean I can’t miss you.” They reluctantly separated then. “Just be safe, okay? Check in whenever you can.”

            “I’ll be back in time to meet him, don’t worry.” Rey promised. “Good luck to you and Ren.” A sentence she never thought she would ever say. It still felt weird to say, but, she meant it.

            “And to you and Finn.” Ash said with a wink. Rey’s cheeks burned as she looked at the dashing pilot next to her friend before hugging him too. The group said their goodbye’s. A hard moment for all of them having gone through so much together. Yet, there was that promise of seeing each other soon. That promise that kept them going as Poe wrapped his arm around Ash’s shoulders, the two waving as the starship took to the sky, leaving them on the flight deck alone.

            “How are you holding up, First Order?” Poe asked her, rubbing her back gently.

“I’m okay.” She answered. “Just sad and overwhelmed lately. There’s so much going on. I thought it would be easier when the war was over.”

            “Not for the wife of a political leader.”

Ash smiled. “He’s not the leader yet.”

            “But he could be.” Poe reminded her dutifully. “Tomorrow’s the vote, right?”

Ash nodded; almost hesitantly. “I know he’ll do well, I just hope they see what I see in him.”

            “I don’t think any of us will ever see what you see in him.” Poe teased, the two sharing a quick laugh as they began walking towards the main building. “But, I’m hearing good things from their meetings. People are starting to turn in his favor.”

            “Which is all I could hope for.” She said.

“And how about that little guy.” Poe asked. “How’s he doing?”

            Ash shrugged. “Eleven weeks. I’m still getting sick at weird times of the day. Oh, and there’s the frequent emotional spikes where I’m happy and angry all at once. Poor Phasma, she has to deal with me the most lately.” Poe laughed. “But, he’s good. He’s pretty strong with the Force. I can feel it in him already and the more he grows the stronger it gets.”

            “Is he going to be a Dark User or a Grey User like you?”

“No clue.” Ash said truthfully. “Maybe he’ll be light. I just hope whatever he is, he finds balance.”

            “Most parents hope for, you know, a healthy baby or that they’ll grow up to be a doctor or something. You want balance.” He teased.

            Ash smirked. “Most parents aren’t Force Users.”

“True.” He chuckled. “That is very, **_very_** true.”

* * *

  


            When Ash returned to the apartment later that night, she hadn’t expected him to be there already. It was a welcomed surprise, however, she wanted to be there the moment he returned like she had promised. He was standing at their bookshelf, rearranging their books according to his liking when she wandered in. He was frowning contemplatively at the shelf.

            Ash snorted. “This is so weird.”

Now, he turned to look at her. Stars, she looked beautiful today. Well, she looked beautiful **_everyday_** according to him, but something about the way she was standing there made it even more apparent to him. The outfit, her red hair tamed in braids, the small bump forming at her midsection. Yeah, he could get used to this view. Yet, the amused expression on her face was somewhat troubling to him as he tried to read her. “What’s weird?”

            Ash shrugged, gesturing to everything. “All of this. Isn’t this just the tiniest bit weird to you? How domestic all of this feels?”

            Ren thought for a moment, looking around at everything before smirking. “You’re right. It **_is_** weird.” He agreed. “But, perhaps we’re just not used to it considering all we’ve been through.”

            “When I said I’d be here for all your misadventures, I never imagined they’d involve organizing a bookshelf.”

            His brown quirked upward. “What did they include?”

“I had this weird idea that we’d always be on the run and that this war would never end.” She answered truthfully before sitting on the couch. “I’m having trouble adjusting to normalcy.”

            Ren’s lips formed a tight ‘Oh’ shape as he silently walked over to the couch, sitting next to his wife. “We are still so very far from a normal life, Starshine.” He explained. “I’m currently trying to get over the whole _nearly-killing-you_ thing, you’re trying to adjust to being in a more permanent position considering your lack of stability the past year. We’re just a whole bit of fucked up and tomorrow I might become the next Supreme Leader.”

            Ash scoffed. “You mean you _will_ become the next Supreme Leader.”

“So certain, dear wife?”

            “I dreamt it.” Ash admitted, looking at him now. “I’ve been dreaming it for a while now. However, it’s finally reaching a path that makes sense for you. Without the stone, you’re back to the person you were always meant to be.”

            “Your dreams have been wrong before.” He suggested.

Ash shook her head. “They’ve come true in some capacity. Perhaps not exact, but they have. That’s why I think this has some weight to it.” She placed her hand on his thigh. “You’re going to make a great Leader, Ben. I’m just sorry I can’t be anything exciting with you.”

            He rolled his eyes in the most loving way possible before placing his hand on top of hers. “Starshine, your role is more important that you realize. You’re my driving force, the only thing keeping me from going under. Without you, I’m nothing. It’s always been that way. While the title of being my wife doesn’t sound exciting, I can promise you I’ll make it as exciting as possible for the rest of your life, so long as you’ll have me.”

            She leaned over and kissing his cheek. “Then maybe living this domestic life won’t be so bad.”

            “Not as long as I have you.” She smiled that signature smile of hers that drove him absolutely crazy. Stars, if he was crazy enough to have any doubts, they were all gone now as he looked at her. The past year was something out of a storybook, it didn’t seem real to him. How drastically things had changed from his original plan then to what happened now. How she turned his world unapologetically upside down and brought him to his knees without even knowing it. She was his world, his everything. And now, things were going to change even drastically come the following day. At least, the one constant in his life would be there to see it.

 

* * *

 

            The next morning Ash stared at herself in the mirror for a long while contemplating her new attire. It was a long, blue dress that reminded her of Naboo for some reason. Perhaps the ornate designs that trailed down the front? She almost didn’t recognize herself, even her wild red hair was tamed back into braids and wrapped within a golden headpiece. She looked like royalty, something that seemed so foreign to her considering her outfit was typically ripped and torn or a flight suit. The dress hugged her in all the right ways and showed off the small bump just enough to make people look twice had they not known. It all seemed so much, too much in fact and Ashlyn almost ripped the dress off. That was until he walked into the room adjusting his gloves. He stopped short, looking at her from the doorway and said only one word that made her not second guess as much. “Beautiful…”

            She turned on her heels, looking at him with uncertainty. “It’s not too much?”

“Not at all.” He said; looking as handsome as ever in his typical black attire. Ren walked over to her, leaning down and kissing her reassuringly.

            Ash smiled, accepting her fate as she asked. “Ready?”

He smirked, however before he could answer, there was a light knock on the door. “She’s early.” Ren made his way for the door.

            Ash frowned curiously. “Who?” The answer to her question came when he opened the door to reveal General Organa as she entered. She was also dressed in a beautiful navy dress, less intricate than Ashlyn’s, however it was perfect for an older woman who commanded a room as she did.

            She smiled when she saw Ash walk into the room. “I hope you don’t mind. I asked to accompany you to the senate today instead of Phasma.”

            “It’s probably for the best you give poor Phasma a break.” Ren quipped.

“I’m not **_that_** awful.” Ash groaned slightly. “But, yes. It’s a very welcomed changed to see someone different today.”

            Leia smiled knowingly. “We should leave, we will want to get good seats.”

Ash looked back at her husband. “You’re not coming yet?”

            “Hux and I need to debrief beforehand.” Ren explained simply.

“He also doesn’t want you to see how nervous he is.” Leia added, receiving a glare from her son.

            Ash shook her head lovingly before hugging her husband. “You will be fine.”

“Well, now I will be.” Ren mused, kissing her quickly. “Go on, let me freak out in peace until Hux arrives.”

            Ash laughed, taking one last look at her husband before leaving their shared apartment with Leia.

 

* * *

 

            “He’s been doing well--” Leia explained thoughtfully as the two women walked towards the main chamber. “The change within him is something no one was truly prepared for within the remainder of the Senate. However, they’ve been willing to listen for the most part. A few bumps here and there. My son will have to learn to deal with an immovable object.” Leia pursed her lips slightly. “I want to thank you, Ashlyn. Never in a million years did I expect something like this to happen. Not after the things he had done; between burning down Luke’s Academy, joining the First Order; all of it. My son was gone forever. Then, the day he contacted me about you…” She smiled then. “He only made it here because of you.”

            Ash shook her head. “He’s always been that person.”

“While that may be true, sometimes the men-folk need that push in the right direction from a strong woman. Otherwise they never get any traction.” Leia’s tone was lighthearted as she smiled fondly, a memory coming to her. It seemed so long ago now. “When his Father and I were stationed on Hoth, Han had every intention of leaving the Rebellion and never looking back. After some stubborn convincing on my part, he stayed and became a hero of the Rebellion. If he didn’t have that push, I’m certain things would have ended much differently.” She smiled a little more then. “So, when I say my son has drastically changed because of you, I mean it. You were that push he needed.”

            “Do you think he’s going to be voted for today?” Ash asked; if anyone had insight to the dealings of all political engagement, it was her mother-in-law.

            “Some are still hesitant of him, understandably so. However, I do believe he’s done all he can. It’s up to them now. He’ll be making a speech at the session today and then the voting will begin. Once the count is tallied, we will have our answer.”

            “So diplomatic.”

Leia smirked. “Democracy is why we’re here, is it not?”

            It was strange, in some weird way, that after all that had been said and done democracy was the way he was going. She remembered a time that seemed so long ago when she and Ren were sitting in his apartment on StarKiller talking about how they’d change the galaxy. He seemed to be pointing towards a more dictator regime and yet, now looking at it, his views had changed towards democracy. A belief that Ash had once had. Perhaps Leia wasn’t too far off in her belief that Ash really was that simple push that Kylo Ren had needed.

             She smiled to herself as they entered the deceptively large senator hall. Her eyes going wide at the mass amounts of people that were still alive after the attack on the Hosnian system. Granted, there were **_tons_** of planets out there to be governed. She had a lot to learn on politics, she realized. “Just take a deep breath and don’t let any politician persuade you into saying ‘yes’ or ‘no’ to any of their decrees.” Leia muttered to her as the familiar Senator Varrek marched forward.

            The very generous Senator of Chandrila was in quite the joyous of moods, the middle-aged man with slicked back dark hair that had a decent amount of white protruding through. “General Organa and Mrs. Solo, I am pleased to see you both could attend.” He looked at Ash directly then. “How are you feeling today?”

          Ash grimaced, she was really growing tired of people constantly asking how she was. Her firm belief of being able to take care of herself always seemed to shine through when that happened. “I’m fine, thank you. Nervous today, but fine.”

           “Nonsense, he will do just fine.” Varrek assured her. “He has a strong woman standing behind him, of course he will be ready to take on anything.”

           Leia winked at Ash. “I told you, it’s all about the strong women.”

Varrek laughed with them. “As someone who admired the resigned Senator of Alderaan, I am so very inclined to agree. This young lady has lead such a strong political life, I wasn’t too surprised when she came to me regarding her son.” The tone of the room began to shift as Ash felt their moods change from pride to uncertainty; a mix of fear and yet hope. The one driving force of the Galaxy. Varrek seemed to notice the change as well, but from a different point of view. “It looks like we are starting soon. Ladies, it has been a pleasure and I will see you after.”

            Leia locked her arm with Ashlyn’s, guiding her towards their seat that was seemingly out of the way of any objects that could be thrown. Leia quickly explained that incidents such as that were a normal occurrence as politicians were known to grow passionate about their causes. However, today, she assumed it would probably be somewhat tame as everyone would be on their best behavior thanks to her son. It was that mixed uncertainty that kept everyone in line.

            However, now Ash was beginning to feel butterflies in her stomach as everyone took a seat and soon her husband, accompanied by Armitage Hux, entered the room. Maybe the butterflies were a mix of the growing force user acting up insider her or the fact that maybe she worried that this could end poorly. For once, she was praying it was the former.

            Senator Varrek opened the floor with a quick speech about a positive shift in the Galactic Senate and that things would be changing for the better. He spoke of his firm beliefs that we had a chance at this future with the help of Kylo Ren and that the group would be wasting a great opportunity should they not vote for him. After his speech, the room clapped with either politeness of approval, Ash wasn’t too sure.

            “This is when Ben will go up.” Leia whispered to her, keeping the girl up to speed on how these proceedings went. “He’ll address the room and make his final statements. He will be open for questioning and if any senator has an inquiry, they will state so. Ben can choose to address any questions as he sees fit until his time runs out. After that, any other speakers may choose to come up and express their concerns or support.”

            Kylo Ren walked to the podium, his strong and confident demeanor was a given as he did. He didn’t seem nervous to the crowd; however, Ash could sense otherwise as he stood there.

            “Growing up, I did not really care for any political situations considering it was all I heard in my home as a child--” Senators actually chuckled at that. “And having grown up in such a politically influenced home; I came to realize earlier on that the system was broken. It had been for a very long time. Too easily corruption had found its way into the galactic governing powers due to greed, selfishness; and so on and so forth. Each attempt at creating a new power was giving a flawed concept of power and in doing so caused an imbalance between what was right and what was wrong. Too easily were those placed in power not able to keep the idea of order and structure. Too easily were they swayed to giving only those with the biggerpockets what they needed and forgetting planets that needed them most. Without a structure, without order, we assimilate into chaos--

            Now, I know I have a reputation, one I fought so hard to keep. But, in that reputation I’ve learned so much from my commanding position. I’ve learned to see what happens when we lack order. The fear of creating another Empire is strong among all of you, it’s strong within myself as well. Dictatorships and totalitarian extremes have failed and will continue to fail due to the strongest weapon the galaxy has; hope. It’s within that hope; the rebels that want to see such a positive change for everyone, that we need to exact that change. I do not want to be a dictator; totalitarianism is not in my blood, nor will my wife allow it--” Another brief moment of chuckles, Ash couldn’t hide her smile as she continued to be mesmerized by her husband.

            “She is someone who made me see that democracy can work with the right people. People who believe in that change. People who believe in hope.” He looked around the room. “All of us sitting here, those who remain after the war is over, we all fought for the same thing. We fought for a new future, a future I plan to bring along with you. A future that we, as a collective whole, can create but only if we take the galaxy as a whole and not just one piece. A system of checks and balances to keep each side in line; one that will seek to help and create a better galaxy for all of us.” He paused. “I will take any questions now.”

            The moment his speech ended, hands raised immediately with different points of inquiries. Senators asking questions for in-depth insight on his plans. Questions in which Ren had been waiting for and answered as best he could. He wasn’t trying to win them all, he knew he never would. However, if he could at least address their concerns and show he was trying, then maybe it would work.

            It was a whirlwind as Ash sat there trying to take it all in. Uncertain if this was a good or bad thing when it came to so many questions. Leia sensed the slight distress from her daughter-in-law and gently took her hand within hers. “He’s doing wonderfully.” She reassured her. The room quieted then to a dull murmur as Senator Varrek addressed the room once more, announcing it was time for voting. Ash noticed at each seat there was a datapad in which each senator was able to cast their vote. The room turning to complete and utter silence.

             ‘ _Hi--’_ She was looking towards the podium, where her husband still stood.

His eyes darting up towards her as a small smirk quirked on his lips. ‘ _Hi’_

            ‘ _Pretty cool speech.’_

She could practically hear the chuckle in his voice. ‘ _Thank you. How are you enjoying yourself?’_

_‘I’ve learned that politics are intense and that I really don’t care for how quiet the voting process it.’_

_‘You could always just peek into their minds--’_

_‘Ben!’_

_‘I’m kidding.’_

_‘No you’re not.’_

_‘You’re right, I’m not.’_ He said. ‘ _But, it will be over soon.’_

_‘Thank the stars…’_

_‘I love you’_

Ash felt her breath hitch in her throat at that; stars it never got old hearing it. She simply smiled, giving away to Leia that she had been mentally speaking with her son. Leia smiled warmly then, squeezing Ash’s hand gently. “They’re going to be announcing their decision.”

            Ash looked at Leia, her smile dropping then as she returned her attention to the podium where Senator Varrek now stood, Ren was now back at his seat by Hux. “The results are calculating.” Senator Varrek said as he held his datapad. “At this time, I wish to thank all of you for your patience and cooperation.”

            “How do we know he won?” Ash asked.

“The vote results will appear on their datapads. Senator Varrek will also announce it.” Leia explained.

            “And there we have it--” Varrek began, capturing everyone’s attention once more. “With just over the necessary vote count, our new Supreme Leader has been selected.” He smiled brightly, looking at Kylo Ren. “Congratulations, Supreme Leader Ren.”

            Ash’s eyes went wide as Leia squeezed her hand once more, the two looking at each other. Leia seemed overjoyed by the news, Ash was not exactly certain. She was happy for her husband; however, she knew what this meant. Everything was going to be changing. There was no way things could be simple. Not any longer. Ashlyn Solo could not lead a simple life after today.

 


	68. The End

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The End

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please read the note at the end.

* * *

 

              It was a much cooler night for springtime, however Ashlyn Solo didn’t mind standing outside the grand ballroom of the capitol building. In fact, she preferred it over being inside where it was a little too warm and stuffy. A room full of political advisors and senators, Resistance and Ascension members; war officials and more. They were celebrating the new formation of the New Galactic Order, led by the newly appointed Leader (he insisted they dropped the word Supreme), his second in command, Vice-Leader Hux and the new political parties. A democracy that was based on checks and balances and created with the inhabitants of the Galaxy in mind.

            Ash was proud of her husband and what he had accomplished, she was proud knowing that they had come this far after fighting through so much. Yet, it was bittersweet. She knew what they were giving up with this new life. There was no such thing as normalcy any longer. There would be consistent political gatherings, he would be busier; there was an expected etiquette from them now, and stars, the bodyguards. The constant surveillance. She was exhausted from it and it had only been a week since he took the position. While she knew she should be inside celebrating her husband and celebrating the victory of the Rebels and Ascension, she found herself needing a break from all the chaos. A moment to breathe; something simple.

            Yet, the words of Leia continued to resonate within her. The reason Kylo Ren was able to accomplish such a feat was thanks to her love and support. And while her job wasn’t as glamorous as fixing giant weaponized planets for a living, it meant more to her than anyone could possibly imagine. However, the change was still jarring and Ashlyn found herself wondering more and more if this new life was really going to be a curse in disguise.

            “Is this what it’s like when everything goes back to normal?” She asked the ghost that appeared next to her.

            Anakin smiled somewhat sadly; he knew this was probably the last time he’d come to her. He’d grown rather attached the fiery redhead who kept his grandson in line. “It’s an adjustment.”

            “All this time we talked about the end of the war and what things would be like when it was over; where I’d end up. I never once imagined I’d actually get here, let alone end up with the people I did. My friends; Ben. It’s surreal and it’s what I want. I know I do--” She looked at Anakin. “I just don’t know **_how_** to.”

            “As I’ve told you from the beginning; have faith. You’ve made it through the worst of it. Now, it’s time to enjoy what you’re helping create.”

            “And if I have no place in this? If I have no important role to play?”

He chuckled. “Ash; even though you’re not going off on wild adventures while saving the galaxy; you’re still just as important as before. Besides, someone has to keep my grandson on track.”

            She smiled a little more then. “Why does it feel like this is somehow a ‘goodbye’?”

“You don’t need more anymore. You got to where destiny has needed you--” He smirked slightly. “It took some time to get traction, but, you did it.” Anakin teased. “I think you can take it from here, Grey User.”

            Sadly, she nodded. She knew he wouldn’t be around forever to guide them. However, for the time she did have him, she was grateful. “Thanks.” Anakin nodded, the Force Ghost began to fade. Another chapter in her life coming to a close then. He was right, even though she wasn’t fighting in a war, she had purpose. She was still saving the galaxy but in a different way.

            “Why do I get the feeling you’re overthinking it all again.” Ash jumped slightly at the unexpected voice, looking to the man in black that found her outside on the balcony. He was admiring her; he could get used to seeing her in dresses. It was such a different change. However, he still loved his wife who was a mechanic at heart and dressed like one. Yet, right now, he appreciated the dress on such an occasion.

            Ash grimaced as he came closer, standing next to her as they stared out at the courtyard garden below; illuminated by the beautiful moon of Chandrila. “Sorry, it’s just been a lot. I haven’t really had a time to catch up on all these changes.”

            “And for that I’m sorry.” Ren admitted as he leaned forward on the balcony railing. “It should slow down once everything is in place. Setting up a new government is a lot harder than I thought.”

            She laughed. “No kidding.” He gave her a dazzling smile in reply. “And I’m happy for you; for what you’ve accomplished. I really am. I get it, things are going to be busy for a while. I’ll still be here by your side through all of it. It’s just a lot to take in; someone like me isn’t really used to… well, any of this.”

            He snorted. “I told you that you couldn’t just simply be Ashlyn Novafall anymore.”

She smirked. “It’s Solo now.”

            His arm wrapped around the small of her back, pulling her closer. “How could I ever forget that?” He teased. “No matter what happens now, I will always make time for you. Things are going to be hectic for a while, but, I will be there.” Ash wrapped her arms around his neck, hooking her hands loosely. “I’m only where I am today because of you.” He said. “That was never a question; never any doubt. You’re the reason any of this has been possible.” His smile dropped when he noticed his wife was now crying. “What’s wrong? I thought you’d be happy to know that?”

            Ash sniffled, pulling back from him as she wiped her eyes. “Ignore me, I’m hormonal!” To which Kylo Ren couldn’t help but begin to laugh. “This whole pregnancy thing is really getting to me.” She laughed through the tears as her hands found the ever-growing bump. At twelve weeks, it was blatantly obvious now that Ash was indeed pregnant.

            He placed his hand gently over hers, lingering for a moment as he looked at her stomach. Stars, that was another adventure he hadn’t had the time to think about. Being a father. “We’ll make it work. All of it.”

            “Promise?”

He smirked, leaning down and kissing her. “Anything for you.” He looked back into the ballroom entrance, Phasma had begun walking out. To everyone’s surprise that night, she was also in a dress. Something Ash was convinced she’d never see again. Ren sighed, forcing a smile as he asked. “We have to go back in?”

            Phasma saw the hesitation on their faces before she smiled. “Actually, I was going to ask you both what your excuse will be while I let you sneak off to be alone.”

            Ash smiled brightly then. “Tell them I wasn’t feeling well. They all know I’m pregnant.”

Phasma nodded. “Will do. See? I’m not the worst bodyguard.”

“Never said otherwise.” Ash agreed before grabbing her husband's hand and lacing her fingers with his. “Can we?”

            “She’s putting so much effort into covering for us, I can’t think of a reason why we shouldn’t respect her wishes.” Ren mused, winking to Phasma before the two snuck off the balcony to be alone. A moment together that seemed so far and few inbetween these days. Phasma understood, she saw Ash more than Ren did as of late. She was more than happy to let this one slide.

            “Do I have to fire the head of the guard now?” Phasma turned to see Hux, adjusting the button on his sleeve as he grinned at her.

            “I dare you, Armitage.” Phasma teased.

“Where did they go?” He asked, the two walking further out onto the balcony and away from the party.

            Phasma shrugged. “They know better than to leave the planet, if that’s what you’re asking.”

            Hux grimaced. “Actually, I hadn’t thought about it. But now that you mention it…”

“They needed alone time, far away from all of this. Their time together is so far and few between now. They needed it.”

            “How nice of you.”

Phasma scoffed. “I can be nice.”

            Hux took her hand in his, kissing the top of it lovingly. “I know you can be.” Phasma rolled her eyes at the gesture, although secretly loving it. “I promised you that after all of this was over that it was time to start anew.”

            “You did.” Phasma replied suspiciously.

“And now that we’re here; Ren is now the Leader of the Galactic Order, I’m second in command, you’re head of all military affairs. I think we’ve finally found our time.”

            Phasma’s eyes went wide. “You’re not going to ask me to marry you, are you?”

Hux scoffed. “I was **_going_** to, but with a reaction like that now I’m not so sur--” She kissed him. A forward gesture she would have never done. However, a moment like that warranted it in her eyes. He grinned, reaching his hand in his pocket and taking out a simple, silver band. “So, is that a ‘yes’?”

            “You know Ren is going to be teasing you mercilessly.” Phasma added as Hux placed the ring on her finger.

            “He will only have so much time to do so as I’ll be getting even once he becomes a father.” Hux explained as Phasma looked at her new ring fondly. A simplistic ring for a woman who did not personally care for flashy things.

“Stars, what the hell has happened to all of us. First Ren gets married, impulsively I might add, and now we’re engaged--” Phasma gawked. “Ren is having a child. Is this what it feels like to have a normal life?”

            “As normal as anyone in our predicament can have.” Hux agreed, taking her hand in his. “Let’s go distract everyone inside with our good news before they start looking for Ren.” Phasma could only laugh; unable to hide her smile.

 

        

* * *

   

 

They snuck away down the moonlit hallways, further and further from the hustle and bustle of the celebrations. Their fingers still laced as they silently walked, the moment alone was all Ash could really ask for. Something she didn’t realize she could miss so much until it was too late. “Are you going to make another lightsaber?” She asked, curiously.

            Ren hummed contemplatively. “I suppose when I have the time I will. I’ll need a new kyber crystal; a hilt.”

“I’m sure I can find us some spare parts on the destroyer.” Ash offered. “The crystal I can’t help with.”

            “When we travel to other systems we can locate some.”

Ash sighed. “I won’t be able to travel that much with this little guy.” She nodded to her stomach.

            “We’ll travel for as long as you’re able.” Ren said. “Besides, the closer we are to his arrival, I will make a point to stay home.”

            Ash frowned slightly. “Is this home now?”

“It is if you want it to be.”

            “There’s no way we can convince them to move to Maridun, is there?”

He chuckled. “I’m afraid not, Starshine.”

            She let out a dramatic sigh. “I assumed as much. Besides, our apartment is pretty nice here. We have the extra room for the baby.” She laughed. “It’s weird saying that, the idea of being a mother hasn’t really hit me. It hasn’t really had time to with everything that’s going on.”

            “We’ll have to start accepting it soon, you’re already three months.”

“It’s going to go fast.” Ash said. “Before we know it, it’ll be over, we’ll be parents. You’ll be a bad influence on him--”

            He frowned. “No, I won’t. If anyone is the troublemaker in this relationship, it’s you.”

Ash scoffed as Ren’s frown softened as he smirked deviously. “You know that’s not true.”

            “Fine--” Ren agreed. “I suppose I am the more mischievous one. You’re an enabler, though.”

            Ash rolled her eyes. “I’ll accept the charges, Leader Ren.”

His smile dropped almost immediately at that as the two stopped walking, finding themselves all alone in the hallway; the music from the ball faint in the distance. “Speaking of things we aren’t used to...”

            “You will be someday.” Ash replied assuringly as she reached her hand up to touch his cheek. “We both have a lot of adjusting to do, and I’m glad that I get to do so with you.”

            His hand found her, taking it gently into his as he removed it from his cheek and pulled her close. The two now slowly swaying to the distant music as Ash put her head down on his chest. “You have no idea how grateful I am for you, Starshine.” He said softly.

            She smiled, a sense of relief washing over her as the two continued to sway back and forth. The realization overtaking them that even though it would be hard, things were going to be okay. They were going to be okay.

 

* * *

  
  
  


Six and a Half Months Later...

 

            Ash frowned as she stared down at her now enormous belly. Granted, it was enormous to her, regardless what anyone else had to say contrary to her belief. He was kicking up a storm; her _little monster_ , as she called him. Ren, however, did not find that new name as funny as she did. Either way, that was his nickname. It had been for nearly for the past few months now. Ash was growing sick of the constant kicking and wanted nothing more than to meet her son already. And although Kylo Ren didn’t say as much, she knew he wanted the same thing (minus the kicking, he found that hilarious and would gladly touch his wife’s stomach to feel it).

            Things had changed and drastically, like they knew they would. The full overhaul of the old ways was reaching its end as the new order came forward. And although everyone had their own fears in what kind of leader Kylo Ren would become, he proved them all wrong. His promises had been kept. And as the new Leader of the New Galactic Order, planets all over the Galaxy were finally becoming united. Planets were seeing a drastic shift and change as slum lords were defeated and aid went to those who needed it. While it was still early, Ash was proud of what her husband was accomplishing. It was nearly perfect, in her eyes.

            Even though he was gone for a majority of the day, Kylo Ren always made time, like he promised, to be with his wife at the end of each and every day. Even when she could no longer travel with him due to her pregnancy, he would find little ways to contact her whenever he could. He made good on his promises and Ash was grateful. It made any strain on their relationship almost nonexistent. And in keeping his word, when Ash was closer to her due date, he remained on Chandrila. He was adamant about it.

            She rubbed her stomach, shushing the child that was practically rolling around inside her before groaning. “You better not be a troublemaker like your father, I swear I will ground you the minute you come out.” She threatened to her stomach. He stopped for a brief moment before continuing his new kicking routine. Ash groaned again. “That is if you ever decide to come out.” She huffed, hearing the door to their apartment open. He was back from wherever the hell he was needed today. More meetings; more conversations about fixing the galaxy. It was a lot of work, she understood that.

            “Are you bargaining with my son again?” He asked knowingly; his smirk evident in his voice as he joined his wife on the balcony. He admired her; how beautiful she looked right in that moment. Even with the clear and present aggravation on her face over their very rambunctious child; he had never loved her more. “He’s not going to listen. He’s stubborn, like you.”

            Ash frowned. “Is that why he hasn’t shown up yet?”

Ren snorted, resting his elbows on the balcony and leaning over just enough to see the beautiful night that was engulfing the planet of Chandrila. “Probably.”

            “You know--” Ash began. “He still needs a name.”

“I thought you were dead set on calling him _little monster_ forever?” Ren retorted somewhat sarcastically and overall teasingly.

            Ash grinned, reaching over and taking his hand in hers. “I was, but perhaps I can be swayed with the right name.” Ren scoffed, squeezing her hand gently. “How did the meeting today go?”

            His expression dropped only slightly as he exhaled sharply through his nostrils. “Leia believes we’re making progress. She says I need to have a little more patience. However, I’m afraid if I have too much patience, things won’t get done.”

            “You can have patience and still get things done.” Ash agreed with Leia, something Ren usually hated. Instead, he sighed, standing upright and pulling Ashlyn closer to him. As he did, the child within Ashlyn began to flutter like crazy, Ash started laughing at the sensation. “Unlike your son, apparently. He has no patience.” Ren smirked, placing his hand on her stomach. In an instance, the child quieted down. Ash glared when he did. “That’s not fair, he listens to you.”

           Ren’s smirk dropped as he looked down at her stomach, both hands were on it now as he frowned contemplatively. “I have a name.”

            “Really?”

“With your blessing, of course.” She gave him a funny look, almost expecting something crazy. “I think we should call him Jacen.”

            Ash’s jaw fell slack; her face growing a little hot as she tried her best not to show any of the tears that were beginning to form in her eyes. “Yeah?” She asked, her voice cracking. Of all names, he chose the one that meant the most to her. He was willing to name their child in honor of her younger brother. It meant the world to her, she didn't have to tell him that. He already knew.

              He nodded, looking back up at her as he removed one of his hands from her stomach and gently placed it on her cheek. His thumb wiping a few of the tears she was trying so hard to keep in. “Jacen Solo has a nice ring to it.”

            Ash blinked away some of the tears in her eyes, her hand finding his as it rested on her cheek. “Thank you…” Ren smiled slightly, leaning down to kiss his wife, only to stop as she jerked back in pain. “Ah--” She hissed, her hands on her stomach now as Kylo Ren froze in sheer panic. Ash forced a laugh, as she typically did whenever in pain. “I think he liked it too--” She said through a very forced exhale.

              “Are you okay?” Ren asked, visible concern on his face.

“Yeah--” She hissed, albeit still calm. “Just need to get me to the doctor now.”

            Suddenly, the situation grew real as he realized exactly what was happening. “Is he--?” Ren couldn’t finish his sentence. “Are you--?”

Ash forced a smile, her jaw tightening slightly from another wave of pain. “Darling, I love you, but if you don’t go get a doctor right now I’m going to kill you.”

            His hand ran through his hair as he quickly made his way to the front door. But not before uttering a few curse words in panic as he did.

           Ash looked down at her stomach, another contraction coming through as she hissed again. “Okay, okay, I get it. You like to make an entrance.”

 

* * *

 

              Lights flickered and the glass cabinets of the medical room shattered as Ash yelled in pain. Her hands gripping the bed tightly as the main staff doctor tried to coax her into pushing. She didn’t want to push anymore. She was tired of pushing. They had to kick Kylo Ren out of the room twice for threatening anyone that caused his wife any pain (forgetting the fact that it really wasn’t the doctors fault, this also in turn forced him to give his new constructed lightsaber to his mother. Another thing he was not happy about. However, he knew she’d protect it and not corrupt the brilliant red crystal within it). He was currently on his last chance as he stood next to the bed, rubbing his wife’s back as she tried to push once more.

            In the waiting lobby; the newlyweds Hux and Phasma were the first to arrive, followed by Leia. The trio did the only thing they could do in that moment. They sat around, waiting for the news that Ash gave birth. Hux was skimming through his datapad, every so often looking up as the lights flickered around them. He’d purse his lips and focus his attention back to the pad. “Are we taking bets if they kick Ren out for a third time?” He mused.

            Another shatter of glass could be heard down the hall. Phasma sighed. “Put me in for 500 credits.”

            Leia looked at the recent newlyweds in amusement. “Something tells me you two have made bets on my son before.”

            Phasma smirked. “I’ve won all of them so far.” Hux rolled his eyes as the waiting area door slid opened to reveal two familiar faces.

            Leia stood as Rey rushed in, excitedly nervous as she hugged Leia. “We came as soon as we could.”

            “You both didn’t have to rush, you were on your mission.” Leia explained, hugging the girl tightly before hugging Finn next.

            “She was too excited to wait.” Finn replied, nudging Rey playfully. “Besides, we left the camp in good care.”

            “I suppose everything has been successful so far?” Leia asked.

“Yeah, actually. We’ve found several Force Sensitives and we’re building a sanctuary for them with the help of Maz Kanata and the new Galactic Order.” Rey explained. The lights flickered again. Rey and Finn looked around nervously. “Is that… normal?”

            “It is when you’re a Force User in labor.” Leia explained gently. “Might as well sit, they could be a while.”

            The door opened again as four more familiar faces practically stumbled into the waiting room. Brass and Poe nudging passed each other to be the first one in, both stopping to awkwardly mumble their apologies for being late as BB-8 rolled in blipping excitedly. The last to enter was the Wookiee behind them as he roared in aggravation before wandering over to Leia.

            Leia smirked. “Glad you made it.” Chewbacca roared again as he sat down next to Leia; he looked utterly ridiculous sitting in the small chair considering how tall he naturally was.

            “So, did we miss it?” Poe asked, running his hand through his hair.

“You’re surprisingly on time.” Phasma confirmed.

            The lights flickered again. “Is that uh--?” Poe began.

“It’s fine.” The rest of the group replied almost in unison, no one bothering to explain that it was Ashlyn.

            Poe made a face before walking over to where Hux and Phasma were, nodding to them as he offered his hand to Hux. “Congratulations on the whole marriage thing. Brass just informed me.”

            Hesitantly, but not out of distaste or anything of that sort, Hux reached forward and took Poe’s hand. “Thank you, pilot.”

            “He’s a Commander, dear.” Phasma reminded him sarcastically and yet somewhat gently. “Speaking of which, I’m glad you were able to leave your post from the Felucia system.”

            “If it weren’t for you contacting Brass, I wouldn’t have known.” Poe truly was grateful. Phasma had instructed Brass to find Poe while he was on a peaceful scout mission in the Felucia system. Of course, when Brass arrived to inform him, it turned into a race to see who could get back to Chandrila first. However, that was information the two would keep to themselves, even though Poe clearly won.

            “Hey--” Brass nodded to Finn and Rey who were sitting together, their hands clasped. “When did this become a thing?”

            “It’s always been a thing.” Poe chimed in with a smirk as he walked over to Brass, draping his arm around him. “They just finally got it right.”

            “Nice.” Brass nodded in approval. For the first time since their relationship became a thing, Rey or Finn did not pull apart from the other. Instead, they merely smiled and simply accepted it. This was what they had both wanted for a long time and finally they were making it a reality.

            “It’s nice having everyone back together again.” Leia commented as she looked at the group. “So much has changed; Armitage and Gwendoline are married now. Finn and Rey are together and off helping Force Sensitives find their way. Brass and Poe are leading the outreach program for far off planets. We’ve come so far from such frayed beginnings.” She said fondly.

            The group exchanged glances; they really had come so far. No one in that waiting room could have ever imagined that life would have gone the way it had. Everything had come together; destinies had intertwined and created something wonderful. Their paths laid out before them, they were connected now forever. A feat that none of them thought possible all things considered. And now, here they were. A dysfunctional yet happy family.

            The door to the medic wing opened then as Kylo Ren, looking tired and yet somewhat accomplished, walked into the waiting room. The room quieting as they eagerly awaited to hear. “Jacen Solo; seven pounds, eight ounces. Nineteen inches.”

            The waiting room erupted into applause and cheers as they stood from their seats and walked over to congratulate the new father. Leia hugging him first; and for the first time in a long time, he hugged back without any resistance. Even when the Wookiee hugged him, he didn’t have any malice. No, Kylo Ren was happy. He was extremely happy.

           

* * *

 

 

            He seemed so small as he silently slept in her arms. Ash stared down at the newborn fondly; for such a monster inside her he was such an angel now that he was in the galaxy. Stars, her son. Her little Jacen Solo. He was perfect. He was strong with the Force; he was everything she had dreamt he would be. She tried to place whose features he had. His nose was definitely hers, but the dark patch of hair on his head was definitely Ren’s.

            When the door opened, she was happy to see Kylo Ren followed by familiar faces. They knew they all couldn’t go in at once and gladly let Leia and Rey be the first two allowed in. Immediately, Kylo Ren was at his wife’s side and scooping up the baby in his arms. A battle she knew she’d be having for a while with him. The two simply wanted to hold him, however, Ash knew she had to let him have some time with Jacen as well.

            “You’re a natural.” Leia commented, her heart full as she watched her son hold her grandson.

            Rey had gone closer to the bed to hug Ash. “Congratulations!”

“I’m so happy you could be here.” Ash said, hugging her tightly. “I’ve missed you so much. You’ll have to tell me everything. How the mission is going; how are you and Finn?”

            Rey laughed. “We can get to that, I’m here for a few days!”

Ren, somewhat reluctantly, because he didn’t want to let his son go, passed him to Leia. She held her newborn grandson, looking down at him lovingly. “Jacen?” She asked curiously.

            “He’s named after Ash’s brother.” Kylo Ren explained.

“It’s a beautiful name.” Leia agreed as she continued to hold her grandson. She remembered fondly the day that Ben was born. Han had been the same way, constantly wanting to hold him. It was amusing to her that her son had turned out to be like him without even knowing it.

 

           

* * *

 

            Their first few nights home with Jacen were tough. He cried often late in the night and Ash was up all hours in the night with him. She had to coax Ren back to bed, telling him he had a busy day in the morning, which he did. Reluctantly, he would agree and Ash would take care of Jacen.

             However, by their fifth night, Ashlyn was exhausted to say the least and needed rest. Yet, something felt a little off. She was expecting Jacen to be crying, perhaps even be hungry at this point. Yet, nothing. Her maternal alarm clock woke her up in the dead of night because of it. She stretched lazily; feeling every joint in her body release all tension as she did. She turned her head to look at her sleeping husband, only to come up empty handed. He wasn’t there. She pursed her lips, her mind immediately racing to the worst possible outcome that they were kidnapped by Raiders or something ridiculous like that, as she removed herself from the bed.

            She yawned; sleep deprivation taking over. Having an infant was more than worth the lack of sleep. However, even just an ounce of sleep was too tempting. Yet, here she was, walking around their home to find out where the hell her husband had wandered off to.

            Ash found him the moment she walked into the living room. She saw his dark locks dipping ever so slightly off the side of the couch where he laid. A small smile formed on her lips as she walked over to wake him, only to stop when she saw the tiny infant sleeping soundly on his chest.

            Her heart was beyond full as she took in the sight in front of her before sitting down next to the couch as she rested her head on the very small space next to Kylo Ren’s arm. The sound of his calm and steady breathing relaxing her as her eyes closed. ‘ _I didn’t want to wake you…’_ His deep voice echoed in her head.

            She lifted her head, looking up at her husband. His tired eyes were open now as he stared back at her. ‘ _Everything okay?’_

_‘He was fussing. I took care of it.’_ Ash smiled a little more as she leaned forward and kissed him on the cheek. ‘ _He’s dreaming.’_

            ‘ _Stop listening in on our baby’s thoughts.’_ She scolded him playfully.

‘ _They’re just images of colors now. Nothing too exciting.’_

_‘Yet you’re still listening.’_ She reminded him as he smirked. ‘ _You should go to bed, I can take him.’_

_‘I’m taking the day tomorrow. I want to be home with both of you. You need the sleep.’_

Ash frowned. ‘ _Are you sure?’_

_‘Positive. Go back to sleep, Starshine.’_

She put her head down on the end of the couch cushion again, smiling softly. ‘ _In a minute.’_

He chuckled. ‘ _You’ll be asleep in a minute.’_

_‘I know…’_ And she was. However, she was more content sleeping there with the two of them than anything. Suddenly, Ashlyn Solo was very complacent with how her life was. She was going to be just fine in her adjustment to normalcy.

  


* * *

  
  
  


Ten Years Later…

 

            In the span of ten years so much had happened. The New Galactic Order was thriving as planets began to prosper, even though they never had the chance to in the first place. Leader Ren had done the seemingly impossible with his second in command, Armitage Hux. They unified the Galaxy. A feat that not many thought possible.

            In the ten years, the tight knit group had separated; Rey and Finn had married and were taking care of their successful mission to help Force Sensitives around the Galaxy. Their new-found Academy on Takodana, along with the help of Maz Kanata. Six years prior, they welcomed a little girl to the world; Lianna and Rey was expecting once again.

            Brass and Poe had both been promoted to general status and were in charge of the outreach program for foreign aid among the systems that needed it. The duo was practically unstoppable at their new positions and took their jobs seriously. Well, as seriously as two gambling fools who loved their competitive sides just as much as their jobs. Needless to say, the amount of Sabacc games held on board their ships were overwhelming to the point where Hux eventually had to step in and send them multiple warnings about their behavior. It didn’t stop them, it just made them careful to not get caught.

            That left Hux and Phasma, the two were still married without children. The two prefered it that way. They were happy with their lives as is. Although, Hux would argue that he and Phasma were like second parents to Jacen at times, considering he had the same mischievous tendencies as his parents. The two were constantly getting caught up in his mischief. Yet, they wouldn’t have it any other way.

            That left the remaining Force Users. Ash continued performing maintenance on anything and everything she could get her hands on and even held workshops on Chandrila to teach upcoming and current maintenance workers. However, she found out early on just how difficult it was to teach those who didn’t exactly have a natural ability with the Force and maintenance and learned very quickly just how much the Force really helped her. That didn’t matter, she kept the dream alive and continued the workshops as often as she could. Somehow, she had a feeling that Sid would have been proud of her for doing so.

            Their son, Jacen Solo, was everything they could have ever dreamed of. He was wicked smart, like his father, which at times Ash said would be quite the trouble the older he got. He was strong willed like his mother, or **_stubborn_** as Ren called it. He had dark locks like Ren and the same golden eyes. He was a very curious child; he always wanted to know more and was never satiated with simple answers. He needed to know as much as he could. He was the light of their lives; the reminder of their hard work and effort and just how crazy destiny could be.

            It was a solemn day; the skies were even grey and raining on Chandrila. It seemed only right, at least in Ashlyn’s mind. Leia had passed away peacefully the previous night, although much earlier than anyone could have ever imagined. They expected her to live forever due to how strong she was. It was a very large funeral, a huge outpour of love as people from across the Galaxy came to pay their respects.

            Ash stood between Kylo Ren and Jacen. Ren was silent, staring at the new grave sight of his mother. His face seemingly expressionless, yet Ash could feel the conflicting emotions radiating within him. She knew their son could too. She gently placed her hand on Jacen’s shoulder and motioned for him to come with her. ‘ _We’ll start heading home…’_ Ren only nodded. “Come along, love.” She said softly to Jacen as the two began walking away and back to the senate building where their apartment was. “There were a lot of people here the past few days, your grandmother was a very strong lady. I’d be surprised if the entire galaxy wasn’t in mourning over her.” Ash explained. “She lead two resistances against two awful regimes.”

            “Dad told me she was a Rebel Scum.” Jacen said.

Ash smiled. “It’s not a bad thing.”

            “He said you were one too at some point.” Ash hummed in agreement. “Was dad a Rebel?”

“Not exactly.” Ash cautiously explained. “He was simply different than anything else out there.”

              Jacen nodded, trying to understand it all. “Someone said that people used to be afraid of him.”

“Like I said, he was simply different than anything else out there. We all come from different backgrounds, different destinies, but we all came together for the right reasons.” Ash could feel the change as the sadness began growing within her son. “Hey, it’s okay to be upset over your grandmother.” She said softly, pulling him close to her as they continued walking. “Your dad is sad too.”

            Jacen frowned. “But dad’s never sad. He said we have to control our emotions if we want to be strong with the Force.”

            Ash pursed her lips. “While that’s true, that doesn’t mean we aren’t allowed to feel. That’s what makes us what we are. When we connect with the Force, we feel all aspects of it. Good and bad. Hiding away from our emotions are not allowing ourselves to feel can be hurtful towards our balance.” If anyone knew about loss and dealing with it, it was Ash. She had battled with it for so long, but once she learned to control it, wonderful things came of it. Such as where they were now.

              “Dad says I have to learn to be balanced, like you are.”

“Well, you are an interesting part of the Force. You’re like me; Grey. You have an easier time balancing with the right training.”

            “How come I’m Grey and not a Dark User?”

“You’re special.” Ash smiled. “Your dad is a Dark User, it’s how he connects with the Force. Like how your Aunt Rey connects with the Light. You can connect with both sides.”

            Jacen frowned slightly. “Dad called Aunt Rey a scavenger. What does that mean?”

She grimaced. “Aunt Rey used to find parts inside old battleships and trade them in for money… but, you best keep that between you and me and **_not_** tell your Aunt what he said.”

            He nodded, understanding that sometimes grownups had a weird way about things. “Are we going to be training again tomorrow?”

           “Possibly. We just need to give your dad some time.” Ash had an idea then. “How about we make him something delicious to eat and have some hot chocolate before bed.” Jacen beamed at the suggestion.  

 

* * *

 

            The two put their plan in action as they made as much comfort food as they could think of. Jacen helping in the kitchen as much as Ash would let him before instructing him to set the table. Once it was ready, Kylo Ren had walked through the door. The smell of something familiar forcing a small smile on his face as he saw his wife placing a casserole dish on the table while is son finished setting the table. “What’s all this?”

            Ash quickly nodded to Jacen, as if they had a secret plan all to themselves. They did. And soon Jacen quickly put down the plate and rushed over to Kylo Ren, hugging him tightly. A warm welcome home that even Kylo Ren couldn’t deny as he bent down and picked up the dark-haired boy, grunting as he did. “Stars, you’re getting heavy.” He teased. “Pretty sure you’re going to be taller than me.” He said, hugging him tightly before putting Jacen down again. He walked over to Ash and kissed her lovingly. “Thank you.”

            “Of course.” She said with a smile of her own.

“Mom said we could have hot chocolate after dinner.” Jacen piped in, the ten-year-old beaming over the promise of chocolate.

            Ren’s brown quirked upward. “Did she?” Ash shrugged as a mischievous smile formed on her lips. “Then I suppose we’re having hot chocolate after dinner.”

            “Yes!” The two exclaimed, high fiving in the kitchen before sitting down at the table along with Kylo Ren. Although it was a sad day, he had his family to remind him exactly where his place in all this was.

 

* * *

 

            The promise of hot chocolate was delivered as the family sat around in the living area drinking it. Jacen had his nose in the very worn and tattered book on planets as he sat on the floor. Ash was curled up against Kylo Ren’s side. Jacen was asking questions about planets and Ren tried to answer them as best he could. His curiosity reminded him of a time that felt so long ago, when he and Ashlyn sat in his apartment on StarKiller, looking at that very book. It was a great distraction that Kylo Ren was grateful for. “What about this one?” Jacen asked, pointing to a familiar planet.

            Ash leaned forward, seeing the yellow and green planet and smiling fondly before curling back into Kylo Ren’s side. “Would you like to tell him about Maridun, dear?”

            Ren smirked knowingly. “Another night, perhaps when he’s older.” Ren teased. “For now, I think it’s time someone gets ready for bed.”

            “Five more minutes?” Jacen groaned.

Ash and Ren exchanged quick glances, she knew exactly why he wanted Jacen to go to bed. Any other night, he probably would have given in to his son. “You heard your father, love. Go get ready for bed. I’ll meet you in there for a story.”

            Another grumble from Jacen before he finally got up. He waved his hand over the book, the cover closing instantly, before he turned and wandered off to his room.

            “He’s getting stronger each day.” Ash commented, levitating her cup of hot cocoa from the table to her hands. “Phasma has taught him a few combat stances too.”

            Ren’s brow quirked upward as Ash got off the couch then. “Phasma is training him in combat?”

            “He watched me train with her. He was curious. He’s learning proper technique, and I think it’s great for him to learn control.”

Ren took a sip from his mug, the hot chocolate no longer as hot as he had hoped for. He was more preoccupied enjoying family time than actually drinking it. “Thank you for taking him from the funeral today. It’s not exactly something I wanted him to see, but it was important for him to be there.”

            Ash walked over to the kitchen, taking her mug and placing it in the sink. “He had some questions about your mother; the Rebels and your allegiance before all this.”

            “What did you tell him?” Ren asked, getting off the couch and joining his wife in the kitchen.

            “Just that your story is different.” Ash said with a shrug. “Everyone has a story. How we got here to this point; our paths met and the rest is history.” She took the mug from Ren and placed it in the sink along with hers as she began rinsing them. “I would also appreciate it if you **_didn’t_** call Rey a scavenger in front of him. Last we need is for him to accidentally call his Aunt that and start another war.”

            Ren smirked. “At least I didn’t call Finn a traitor.”

Ash sighed. “Don’t call his Uncle that either.” She replied dryly. “Rey is due any day now in case you were wondering why they weren’t here.”

            “I remember.” Ren confirmed, continuing their small-talk. “This is their second?”

Ash was actually astounded that he remembered how many children Rey had. “Yeah; another girl.”

            “Maybe we should have another.” He was clearly joking, but that didn’t stop Ash from nearly falling over as she dropped the mug in the sink. Luckily, it didn’t break.

            “You’re mad.” She said, unable to hide her laughter as he wrapped his arms around her waist from behind, his chin resting on her shoulder. “You’re absolutely mad.”

            He kissed her cheek. “Clearly.”

“How are you holding up?” Ash asked, knowing full well that her husband was not exactly one for discussing feelings, or rather just **_his_** feelings.

            At first, he said nothing; instead he exhaled sharply. “I’m fine.” At least he was honest as he held her just a little bit closer, squeezing her gently. “I am grateful that she was such a prominent part of this chapter in our lives.” So diplomatic of an answer, she thought. “How is he?”

            “Sad.” Ash admitted. “I don’t think he truly understands death just yet. He will the more he connects with the Force. He’ll figure out how to balance. But, yes, for now he’s upset as any child would be over losing their grandmother.”

            Ren pulled away then as Ashlyn turned around to face him. “And are **_you_** okay?” He asked her.

She smiled slightly. “I’m okay. I’ll miss our daily chats. I’ll also miss having a babysitter when we want alone time.” She teased as Ren lifted her up on the counter, her legs wrapping around his waist as he wrapped his arms around her.

            “We can always make Hux do it.” He suggested with a smirk before kissing Ash.

“I promised him a story--” She reminded him gently before kissing him again. Even after all this time, they were still crazy about one another. Their bond still stronger than ever, connecting them in ways not many could ever understand.

             “It can wait, right?” He suggested, nipping on her bottom lip. Their moment abruptly ended when a crash was heard from Jacen’s room; nothing too alarming, but a crash nonetheless coming from Jacen’s room. Both Ash and Ren sighed. “Someone is practicing the Force and **_not_** getting ready for bed.”

            Ash smiled, kissing him one last time before scooting off the counter. “He gets his disobedience from you.”

Ren frowned. “Does not.”

             “Does too.” She teased as she went to check on their son. On the floor was one of the old circle training droids; it had been deactivated a while ago. Like Ren had said, Jacen was most definitely practicing. He tried to look innocent as he jumped into his bed, looking very suspicious as Ash walked in. “Okay you--” She couldn’t hide her smile. “It’s time for bed.”

            “Do I not get a story now?” He asked with his golden puppy dog eyes. Stars, he looked so much like his father sometimes. Particularly when trying to get out of trouble.

            Ash just sighed lovingly. “You still get a story, love.” Of course, she gave in. She sat down next to him, tucking in the blankets to make sure he was snuggled up tightly. “What story would you like?”

            “The one I like!” He answered excitedly.

“You’ve heard that one a million times.” The baritone voice said as he joined them now. He stood in the doorway of his son’s room, looking at the sight before him fondly.

            “It’s my favorite.” Jacen explained, now pleading with his mother. “Please, mom! Please!”

Ash smiled softly, looking back at Kylo Ren. “To be fair, it’s my favorite too.” He smirked, folding his arms over his chest as he leaned against the doorframe, nodding for her to continue. Ash looked back at her son, brushing his dark locks with her hand. “Then it’s lights out, got it?”

            He nodded eagerly. “Yes, ma’am.”

‘ _He’s literally a mini you. A troublemaker.’_ She could hear him chuckle in her mind as she began.

 

_**“This is the story of the Commander and the Mechanic…”** _

           

  
  
  


 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It’s bittersweet. I started this story over a year ago after having a crazy dream about Kylo Ren and this mechanic. The chapter where the light falls on him (stars, that was chapter 6… so freaking long ago), was basically the dream I had. From there I started the ridiculous brainstorming of where this story could go, wrote the chapter of their final showdown and knew this is where this story was going. 
> 
> Originally, I had three endings I wanted to do. The first one was that he would kill Ash in their final showdown and Rey would end him. That was the ending I thought you guys would kill me over. Then there was the ending that he decides to give up the opportunity to be the next Supreme Leader and gives it to Hux. From there he and Ash hide away on Maridun with their son. However, it didn’t feel right. Then there was the ending where he ends up the Supreme Leader. HOWEVER, I wanted it to end where Ash leaves him because he chooses that life over her and their son. But, I also didn’t want to start a sequel and managed to hopefully make it work. I also feel like you guys deserve a happy ending after all the drama I threw at you. Y’all clearly just wanted Ash and Kylo Ren to be happy haha.
> 
> This story is not just mine as it is rightfully yours. All of you, whether you were here from day one or just found it two minutes ago, this story only found completion because of you. Your passionate reviews where you yelled at me for being a jerk for not letting them be together without struggle, to your shared laughter and moments of crying. We got through it because we were in this together and believe me when I say, without that love and support and passion you all had, this story would not have been what it is. This story would not have been completed. We’re here at the end because of you. I cannot thank you all enough for what you’ve helped me create. 
> 
> That being said, even though this story is over, if this is your first time reading it or your 100th time; leave a comment, let me know. Keep it going! I want to know if you still love it on your 100th read or this is your first time reading it and what you thought. Who was your favorite character, who had the best arc, whatever it is. Keep it going. 
> 
> To those who have said in comments or private messages that they’re inspired to write their own stories now because of this story; that is one of the biggest compliments I could ever receive and my advice to you is keep going. Keep writing. Keep writing even when things are difficult, when times get hard, when you don’t feel like it. Never stop creating. 
> 
> And finally, I don’t know what the next story will be exactly. I started writing a Knights of Ren and a post apocalyptic AU that can go either way with Kylo Ren or Bucky Barnes but haven’t gotten too far with either. But, something will be coming soon. I guess follow me as an author to know when it comes up? I don’t know. But, you can always find me on this site, feel free to PM me whenever. Whether it’s a silly question or just saying ‘hi’, I’ll be here somewhere. You can also find me on twitter (at) Commandmech, if you’re bored and like watching people play video games, I’m on twitch and instagram. Same username as on this site. And of course, you can always follow me on my ridiculous tumblr that I use to reblog silly Kylo Ren or Bucky Barnes stuff… a lot. Either way, if you need someone to chat with or if you want someone to pass ideas around with or just some friendly advice, y’all got it. I’m here for you. 
> 
> Before I start crying again over how grateful I am for you guys and all you’ve done for me and this story, it’s time to not say ‘goodbye’, but end this the same way I end all my chapters…
> 
> See y’all next time.   
> Kimmyhazard


	69. Please Read...

Hey Y’all!

You’re probably really confused as to why you got a notification for this story, considering it ended. And that’s perfectly fine and dandy and understandable and I’m sorry for pestering y’all.

But, a few people now have brought to my attention that someone is basically copying this story. They’ve changed some of the story, but it’s almost word for word this story.

And at first, I was really angry. Not because someone is copying this story, but the fact that I’ve offered to help anyone with their own fanfics. I wanted to help everyone with their creative side and encouraged y’all to message me your story ideas or if you needed any help with a chapter or someone to proofread. And this person basically said “Yeah, nah. I’m just going to steal your work.”

I get it. It’s a fanfic. And ultimately, I am flattered that someone thought this story was good enough to be stolen, I guess? But, this is still not okay. I don’t want to start a war with this person, I’d rather them take it down or give credit to the original story. Hell, I’ll still even help them shape this story to their own. Just please, please people. Don’t take someone else's work and claim it as your own. It’s hurtful, not cool and honestly a huge slap in the face.

And I debated this morning if I even wanted to post another story because it really sucked seeing someone else use my work without so much as a care. But then, after much debate with my boyfriend, he reminded me that this one person does not reflect the lot of you guys. Y’all don’t deserve to be punished for another person's actions.

So.

That being said.

** I wrote a sequel. It’ll be out this week. **

Thank you guys for listening to my rant. Hope y’all are doing well and see y’all in the next chapter!

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! Feel free to leave me any comments or kudos or whatever it is this site does. :D


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